He would rather hang out with his cousin than come home to me. Can you imagine that? :D I guess it's a "man thang". lol Well, he best get his priorities in order because Moma ain't having it. :mad: I treat Daddy like a King and gosh darnit i won't be treated less than a queen. :thumbsup: I'm going to try to hang in there to see if we can see eye to eye. If we can't... I'm Out!!! :eek:

hey, don't give up so easily girl!!! Hang in there! Is he being attentive to you, taking care of his business, or just hanging out? what is he doing when he hangs out? These things should be considered, right? Don't worry. He is a free bird and needs to spread his wings, as long as he knows where home is. :)

Sorry he's being this way--have a long heart to heart and then you have done your part the rest is up to him.

I hope he makes to right decision.

ONE

I would factor in...is his cousin a decent guy, likely to support him in staying strong and together? Are they close people and haven't had any time together in a long time? Don't forget he (Daddy) has been seriously socially starved. I pray that you two can work this out. Personally I believe relationships are healthier when people give each other room to have other friends too...IF on the other hand this cousin is a partied out thugged out fool, that be a different case. It's early days yet honey!

Ok keep this in mind when I come on here when Herb gets home and I say the same thing, with that in mind....Just know that Daddy loves his Missone. And as long as he is doing everything that he is suppose to and like others have said that cus is a good guy, let him have a little freedom. I am positive when Herb gets home after I pull him out of my butt...he will want to go see his best friend. Every morning him and his best friend would have coffee and talk. this man has been there for herb when everyone else turned there backs. Love Jeanne

MissOne ~ you know me I won't stay quiet so here goes. You have EVERY right to feel as you do. It is unfair that he would spend time with anyone else to the point that it upsets you. You have been so faithful and loving and everything he could have possibly hoped for throughout his bid. COMMUNICATE your feelings to him, set up some ground rules. I assume you and he had long discussions about how things would be and if he isn't living up to his end then he needs to start. I've never been of the mindset that we should baby our men cuz they were on lock nor do I believe we cut them slack becuz they just got out if our needs are not being met. I would never tell you to throw in the towel but I will support and encourage your attempts to get this relationship on track! I'll pray on this with and for you.

Thinking of you,
Patty

MissOne, sorry you feel badly. I understand it. Daddy has been locked away a long time. He has been around all men for awhile and is probably more comfortable around men. Tell Daddy how you feelfrom the heart and that you need him. Maybe he can hang with the cousin on certain days while you go do something you like? Then certain days can be just for you and him??

Pray baby, it'll help. You have been this strong for a time now. Don't give up easily now. Tell daddy how you feel.

MissOne ~ you know me I won't stay quiet so here goes. You have EVERY right to feel as you do. It is unfair that he would spend time with anyone else to the point that it upsets you. You have been so faithful and loving and everything he could have possibly hoped for throughout his bid. COMMUNICATE your feelings to him, set up some ground rules. I assume you and he had long discussions about how things would be and if he isn't living up to his end then he needs to start. I've never been of the mindset that we should baby our men cuz they were on lock nor do I believe we cut them slack becuz they just got out if our needs are not being met. I would never tell you to throw in the towel but I will support and encourage your attempts to get this relationship on track! I'll pray on this with and for you.

Thinking of you,
Patty

I agree with you once again. The cousin leaves tomorrow so the communication and ground rules will commence at that time.

Miss One you are so right you need to be treated like the QUEEN you are! Hope everything works itself out after his cousin leaves.Hang in there

hey Missone!!! I am sending my best hopoes and prayers for you and Daddy!!!
based on a relationship of good love!! communication, respect, cherishing and laughter!!

was his cousin just visiting for the weekend..and they hadn't seen each other in years..

definitely make it clear how the two of you want the relationship to be!!!
much peace and love
francis

MissOne just take it one day at a time. I have struggled something awful since my man moved in, and that's how I've dealt with it. Just for today, he doesn't need to move out, and it's not over yet. And we have actually made little baby steps of progress. But what really has hit me is that for a lot of us, the initial homecoming might be disappointing. We're not all going to have a Patty experience. I'm having the UN Patty experience over here, and if anybody wants to ask me anything PM me.

MissOne just take it one day at a time. I have struggled something awful since my man moved in, and that's how I've dealt with it. Just for today, he doesn't need to move out, and it's not over yet. And we have actually made little baby steps of progress. But what really has hit me is that for a lot of us, the initial homecoming might be disappointing. We're not all going to have a Patty experience. I'm having the UN Patty experience over here, and if anybody wants to ask me anything PM me.

Hey Mary :)

Girl I'm feeling you. :o I keep asking myself is this what i want and i haven't said NO yet. :) I love Daddy to death, but he just might not be the man for me. :( The homecoming was good, but the unsureness about the future i can't stand. I'd rather cut my losses now and move on. :eek: Even more so i'd like to get on the same page with my baby and do the damn thang. :D oops :rolleyes:

A routine will set in on Monday and if we can find a rythym in all it entails we will be ok. I love Daddy and i think he loves me. Let's see if love can conquer all (cliche').

Francis the answer to your question is yes, that is why i am trying to be understanding (UNSELFISH).

Missone,

When they come home, they are often pulled in so many directions and everyone wants to see them, spend time w/ them, etc. Our loved ones are often torn and feel that they have to choose.

For the most part, when they are away, we are the ones in regular contact w/ them, send them money, write, etc., and often times family and friends don't do a darn thing, but when they come home, they (family) feel that it's all about them.

Missone, you have to be secure in your love and know that he truly loves you. You are not second, he is going to spend the rest of his life w/ you. Ofen times, the friend/family yearning dissolves.

Do let him know how you're feeling, and expect him to justify his action. Try not to harp on it, but see how things work out. Girl, you have to pick and choose your battles.

When my friend came home the first time (we met during his incarceration and I was the only one visiting him, writing, etc.), his family wanted him to spend time w/ him only. His mother did not want us spedning that much time together and when we did, she would always need him, have a crisis, etc. His brother often stated, man, you're my brother and why is she sweating you. Mind you, I would be the one to call him and remind him that he needed to return to half way house. His son and daughter wanted to spend time w/ their father as well, for he had been away for 20 + years. They didn't care, they just wanted him w/ them.

My friend often had to defend me when it came to his family. They often made him choose between me and them. He would stand up for us and let them know that I was his woman and I came first.

My friend has been home for 6 months and he has not contacted him family (mother, brother, etc.) He feels that they were not there for him, etc. All I do is support his decision; however, I let him know that when he's ready to see them, I will support his as well. I encourage him to contact them. He's not ready. How ever, he has connected w/ his father's brother and his wife, two half sisters and a family friend.

Keep in mind, his mother was partly to blame for him returning. This is a long and complicated story.

Missone, I said all of this to say, stay encouraged, keep open the lines of communication and know that he loves you and wants to be w/ you.

MissOne. Slow down. Take a deep breath, and relax. Rome wasn't built in a day, and understanding doesn't come in an instance. It sounds like you are crystal clear on your expectations and needs, now he needs to be privy to it as well. He also needs to express his expectations too.


Take a moment away from him, and decide exactly what you want. Create a mate job description. List all your mandatory and necessry skills so to speak (these are deal breakers). Then list the bonuses (these are the sweet items that come along, but won't kill the relationship). List the things that are highly negotiable that you may not think of, and the things that don't matter.

After you have completed the description, see if he fits it. Don't through away the potential without putting the work in. Love is an action, not just a feeling.

alright now thunder. I hear you girlfriend.

ry HE KNOWS!!! But he thinks he has me wrapped around his finger (which he does) and i won't call him on his $h!t (which i will).

ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN TIME

Missone,



You know I can relate to you so much.

Not in the fact of my Husband spending time with others.

But it is extremely challenging when he was first home. It’s a lot different then the steady routine of phone calls, writing, and visits.

Your man has been down for a minute. Like mine and you know it’s a lot easier for us to adjust then them.
There are a few things that my husband and I have talked about how we wanted things to be once he was home. And he has no problem reminding me of the things that he said he wanted.
But some how he has forgoton the things that I said.
Nothing big enough to trip on really. Things like flowers sent to work or brought home.
Wich he had done when he was in. But can't seem to manage to do out here. But he can buy sport action tickets. :confused:


Or notes to say I love you which I have done and now decided I would stop doing because it doesn’t fell like he appreciates it. Then again the reason I do it is not really for recognition as it is just to let him know I love him.
So now I think I will continue to do that at least. See where I’m coming from
Missone ( I hope a lil)

Once you get on a steady schedule things should settle down some.
But just continue to do your thing and rember you may have some adjustments to make with Daddy’s homecoming, but just try and imagen what he is going through the out side world has changed since he was in it a free man.
The whole thing with the cousin well thats family and I would chop that up to, Missone is just wanting her Daddy all to her self! ;)
You take care stay blessed and not stressed.

Raechellle
(PM anytime)

Hey Raechelle

Girl that is all it is. Missone wanting her Daddy all to herself. Well atleast he knows how i feel.

NEway, things are getting back on track. YAY!!! I sang all the way to work this morning and i'm smiling as i type. My baby has called twice already and it is not even lunchtime yet. :D

I think we gone be ok. :thumbsup:

THANKS for posting y'all :)

Good to here Missone!!!

Glad to hear that things seem to be going on the right track now. I agree COMMUNICATION is the key! Hope those issues get resolved soon gurl. And 2 calls before lunchtime... wow! No doubt that he really loves and cares about you. He just probably didnt know what to do, and wanted to spend time with family. I'm sure he didnt mean to hurt you, but since he did... talk to him about it so u can resolve these issues now and stop them from happening again in the future!

GOOD LUCK, AND BEST WISHES! TAKE CARE AND MAY GOD BLESS U!!!

It's good to hear things are getting back on track; I just pray that once Woody comes home I can truly understand that he also has other people in his life that might want a little of his time, but I'm not going to allow too much of it. so I guess I'll be being selfish then too. Ha! Ha! You be good to daddy and don't be trying to get tooo routine, cause routine- gets boring. Keep daddy guessing, where he'll want to RUN his a** home.

It's good to hear things are getting back on track; I just pray that once Woody comes home I can truly understand that he also has other people in his life that might want a little of his time, but I'm not going to allow too much of it. so I guess I'll be being selfish then too. Ha! Ha! You be good to daddy and don't be trying to get tooo routine, cause routine- gets boring. Keep daddy guessing, where he'll want to RUN his a** home.

I LU DAT!!! :D

Okay, I haven't been posting much so I missed all of this. Miss you don't be playin girl. You was ready to kick Daddy to the curb quick. I'm glad God allowed you to see that it's not all one-sided. Like Ry said, slow down chick you're gonna catch a speeding ticket:D I feel you on what you were saying, but God works in His time not ours. Let Him lead you to that final decision. I'm glad you were smiling all the way to work today. That's what I'm talking about.:D

aww i am glad its working out. Its just gonna take some adjustment and things will settle in. Just be patient and let God work it out. Plus Daddy has been gone for a minute...he needs "training" from mami. :D

I like that Ju, with the speeding ticket. Miss, I am glad you are smiling. Handle yo thang! ****whip**** crack that ****whip****

I use to love cartoons. Yosemite Sam would say "Horsie when I say Woe, I mean Woeee!" Ha, Ha. Slow down and enjoy the coffee (Bernie Mack said stir like coffee).

Okay, I am laughing for you today. Just wanted to see if you lighten up.

you had me nervous for a minute there girl...keep smiling!

Glad to hear things are back on track :)

MissOne I'm glad that things are starting to go the right way with and daddy..

.... Miss you don't be playin girl. You was ready to kick Daddy to the curb quick. I'm glad God allowed you to see that it's not all one-sided. Like Ry said, slow down chick you're gonna catch a speeding ticket:D I feel you on what you were saying, but God works in His time not ours. Let Him lead you to that final decision. I'm glad you were smiling all the way to work today. That's what I'm talking about.:D

LOL REAL QUICK JU. I ain't got time for games.

Ju - Boo
Hey All

Y'all have me cracking up. I need to be quiet before my baby asks me what is so funny. Monday night football is on so i guess i'll go act like i'm interested in the game :rolleyes. :)

I like that Ju, with the speeding ticket. Miss, I am glad you are smiling. Handle yo thang! ****whip**** crack that ****whip****

I use to love cartoons. Yosemite Sam would say "Horsie when I say Woe, I mean Woeee!" Ha, Ha. Slow down and enjoy the coffee (Bernie Mack said stir like coffee).

Okay, I am laughing for you today. Just wanted to see if you lighten up.

I'm training him Princess. Only thing is... he is training me too. :)

:shaking head: Let me translate: What MissOne means is she is training HIM to think he is TRAINING her!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

Much Love to you and yours girl,
Patty

LOL!! I do believe Patty speaks fluent Missone-ese!!!

:shaking head: Let me translate: What MissOne means is she is training HIM to think he is TRAINING her!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

Much Love to you and yours girl,
Patty

LOL Thank you Patty. :D

ya see, things work out as they were to be in time....all in time :)

I was just about to say, TROUBLE IN PARADISE ALREADY?!?!? :eek: Glad things are working out for you two!! :D

PARADISE!!!!! Now that's funny. :D

"things work out as they were to be in time"

Mrs. G. You just don't know how true that is. If you can find/feel the rythym you can step to the beat.

For some reason whenever I hear "paradise" I think of that lil guy on Fantasy Island yelling, ' de plane de plane' LOL

Seriously though I wish you and your man well, keep us posted we some nosey folks!!!

Love you,
Patty

shoot, it made sense, but I left out a word...LOL

things work out the way they were meant to be in time, all in time....:)

Mrs. G I figured as much :) Thanks for clarifying.

Hey Patty :) I just posted some stuff about Daddy and I. Were just trying to find our rhythm. Y'all ARE nosey. :D LOL But thanks for asking.

so um..how come baby didnt see this post earlier? :rolleyes:

*shame on miss for not telling her* ;)

for real mrs. lady, you know I'm happy to hear things are better. except I havent talked to you in a minute. but I know yall gon be alright. OR THERE WILL BE A MISUNDERSTANDING UP IN TX! :D

for real mrs. lady, you know I'm happy to hear things are better. except I havent talked to you in a minute. but I know yall gon be alright. OR THERE WILL BE A MISUNDERSTANDING UP IN TX! :D

I know that's right :)

Hi, I didn't see this thread til now. Well all I can say is I can relate! At least you're not married to him, be thankful for that. My husband keeps using the excuse for wanting to hang out or whatever as "I was locked up for 14 years" and I always say that I can understand how he feels now that he is free but if he just wanted to run the streets when he got out he shouldn't have married me. It is rough when they first come home, hope you continue to smile! Peace

I'm still smiling Isadora because nothing can take away my Jesus joy.

I though not talking for a while would have an effect on him, but he has not tried to reach me in three days. I'm hurt.

But Oh well... It's HIS LOSS!!!

awww...missone. (hugs). I hope he calls soon.

Oh MissOne I know that this hurts. You know like with my husband I have found that talking or not talking to him seems to make no difference. These are some guys who have made themselves hard for whatever reasons and they just don't listen, and they are just gonna do what they are gonna do and we can either like it or not but it's not going to change how they act. Well at least mine is like that. Anyway I am glad that you can still smile and you have not lost your Jesus joy! He can lift us above our circumstances and I pray for that for you and me!

it definitely is HIS lost! Dang daddy...:(

Hey Kobe :D Call me later ;)
Thanks for the prayers Isadora. :thumbsup:

Greetings Princess :D or should I say MRS. PRINCESS :D
Hugs back atcha honey. And I hope he calls too just really. But maybe it is for the best that he doesn't, you know. It's taking everything in me not to hunt him down and check him on the spot. But i have to stick to my guns and stand on what i believe.

I think i'm due for a real good cry. :)

But as Mary J. Blige says...

I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry
I'm not gon' shed no tears
No, I'm not gon' cry it's not the time
'Cuz you're not worth my tears

I was your lover and your secretary
Working every day of the week
Was at the job when no one else was there
Helping you get on your feet
Eleven years of sacrifice
And you can leave me at the drop of a dime
Swallowed my fears, stood by your side
I shoulda left your ass a thousand times

I know there are no guarantees
In love you take your chances
But somehow it seems unfair to me
Look at the circumstances
Through sickness and health 'till death do us part
Those were the words that we said from our hearts
So now when you say that you're leaving me
I don't get that part

Well I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry
I'm not gon' shed no tears
No, I'm not gon' cry it's not the time
'Cuz you're not worth my tears

Missone, you go ahead and cry if you find comfort there. And remember this: 3 days is forever for the one waiting for the call and the wink of an eye to the one who's supposed to do the calling!:blah: MEN!!!!

Hey Kobe :D Call me later ;)
Thanks for the prayers Isadora. :thumbsup:

Greetings Princess :D or should I say MRS. PRINCESS :D
Hugs back atcha honey. And I hope he calls too just really. But maybe it is for the best that he doesn't, you know. It's taking everything in me not to hunt him down and check him on the spot. But i have to stick to my guns and stand on what i believe.

I think i'm due for a real good cry. :)

But as Mary J. Blige says...

I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry
I'm not gon' shed no tears
No, I'm not gon' cry it's not the time
'Cuz you're not worth my tears

I was your lover and your secretary
Working every day of the week
Was at the job when no one else was there
Helping you get on your feet
Eleven years of sacrifice
And you can leave me at the drop of a dime
Swallowed my fears, stood by your side
I shoulda left your ass a thousand times

I know there are no guarantees
In love you take your chances
But somehow it seems unfair to me
Look at the circumstances
Through sickness and health 'till death do us part
Those were the words that we said from our hearts
So now when you say that you're leaving me
I don't get that part

Well I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry
I'm not gon' shed no tears
No, I'm not gon' cry it's not the time
'Cuz you're not worth my tears awww I think I see what happened girl. Listen, through all the drama Mary J. ended up on top of her game and you are too!:thumbsup: Life is very odd. It never goes the way we expect and things sure do happen strangely.

God works in mysterous ways but he works!
Keep the faith!

Keeping the Faith Mia :)

Just wanted you to know i heard from him and we said we would keep in touch, but he has not tried to contact me. Nor I he. It's sad, but oh well. Life goes on.

Keeping the Faith Mia :)

Just wanted you to know i heard from him and we said we would keep in touch, but he has not tried to contact me. Nor I he. It's sad, but oh well. Life goes on.
You never know what tomorrow brings...something good is right around the corner for you.

You never know what tomorrow brings...something good is right around the corner for you.

Oooh girl... you just don't know how true that is. :D