I met a man who is now my Fiancee in November of 2000. I went to work for the North Carolina Department of Corrections and met him during a speech he was giving to a group of college students. To make a long story short I was forced to resign my position after 3 weeks of employment because I had written an inmate 2 letters and given him a book written by Billy Graham titled"Angels". He and I fell in love later on and I was able to visit him in prison for 8 months until the NCDOC decided to take away my visitation due to their fear of information I knew about the Department of Corrections. This is not what they have told me, they informed me it was due to an Ex-Employee policy stating no past employees who have been fired or resigned their position due to an unprofessional relationship with an inmate. This is a big load of crap because I know of others who still visit with inmates who were fired for having sexual relations. I did not do that.

If there is anyone out there who knows how I can regain my visits let me know. My visits were taken away in October 2001 and I have tried almost everything I know to try except for a civil law suit?

I would appreciate any help I could get.

:( :confused: :eek: :cool: :cool: :cool:

Hello Sweetheart:

Well ladies and gentlemen, here is The young lady I have talked about for so long. I am so glad she is on this site because I know that so many of you can relate to her and what she is going through. I know her pain but it is not the same as knowing that other people are having the same pain and how they deal with it.

So, I turn her over to you for your good will, love and advice.


My Love
Donna: :fb: :fb: :fb: :fb:

Love Muffin...
Donna has told us a bit about you.... I too met my man while working within the walls... and felt desperately alone when I first came to this site... Donna telling me about you was the first I had heard of another situation like mine... :) So you had me feeling not so alone before we even met....
As far as suggestions about your lack of visitation.... A few questions... on what level is your visitation currently being denied?? (is it the warden of the institution he was at, or has there been a "ban" put on you from the state office??) Also, can you tell me about the process he has to go through to have a visitor approved?? The suggestion off the top of my head would be to
1. Write a letter to whatever level you have to (ie: the warden or the state director....
2. Quote the policy regarding "ex-employees" (I know IL has this written in their visitation policy too, but it specifically states that visitation will be banned if it is "determined to be a security risk.
3. I would present an argument to reconsider your visitation by pointing out that A. there were no issues when you were allowed to visit for 8 months B. There have been no issues with communication on the phone or through writing letters (they haven't interfered with that right??
4. I would request an explanation for the denial if they aren't going to lift the ban... (let them put their foot in their mouth in case you DO take it to court... give yourself something to work with!!)
I do wish you the best of luck.
I was cut off completely from my JD for a few months... he is currently sitting in segregation for 6 months because of DOC's "suspicion".... I have been approved as a visitor, but have only been able to see him on one weekend for an hour long no-contact visit...
I do understand what you are going through and look forward to getting to know you better!!

That was really good advice jd and I think that you can really help her.. I encourage you to go through you employee's handbook and see if there is anything in there about the visitation. I do agree get something in writing from the prison. I believe you may have grounds for a civil suit seeing as how you were allowed visits for 8 months and then all the sudden banned.. they should have never let you visit if that was the rule.. THEY CONTRADICKED THEM SELVES.

Good luck with the visitation and welcome to PTO!

WELCOME! Just keep fighting. Never stop, but always stay professional (if you know what I mean) about it. Once the see you are not giving up they might get tired of hearing you or get scared of a law suit, and ease up. After you write a few letters and call the state if you have no luck (and I hope you do) try mentioning the media/newspapers. Often that scares them straight.
All the luck to you and yours
Michelle

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I gave up a 15 year career in corrections for the man I love. I'm not sure if I can see him inside ever. I resigned in good standing and he was still put on segregation...had time taken...and lost a whole semester of college. They are also trying to move him 7 hours from his family and myself. I did break the rules but I resigned to keep from hurting him and he was hurt anyway. I am supposed to be able to see him in August but as of this date he cannot get permission to call me. My advice...stay very professional and GO to the DOC and confront them personally. How did they find out about you in such a short time? Also try the media and go to your church or pastor. God Bless Miss Finn

Miss Finn.... Glad to hear from you!! There is another!! Your situation and mine sound very similar in the results at least... I too resigned to try to keep it from hurting the man I got involved with, but he sits in seg as I type... Welcome to PTO... hope to hear more from you!!

Glad you're here...hang in there! JDs advice is great! Never give up, never give in!

LUV MUFF-
GLAD TO SEE YOU HERE! HOPE EVERYTHING TURNS OUT WELL FOR YOU AND BUTCH-
AND MISS FINN-GLAD TO SEE YOUR POST ALSO-THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN ON HERE IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS AS I AM SURE YOU HAVE FOUND OUT AND I KNOW YOU ALL CAN BE GREAT RESOURCES AND SUPPORT FOR EACH OTHER-
I AM SORRY THAT SO MANY BARRIERS HAVE BEEN ERECTED TO TRY AND STOP YOU, BUT LOVE KNOWS NO BARRIERS SO KEEP ON--LOVE REALLY DOES CONQUER ALL.

SHERRI

Welcome Lovemuffin..Just remember they can take away phone calls, visitation or whatever BUT the one thing they cant take from us is what is in our hearts!! Never give up!! Look foward to getting to know you!

that is so true amelia.. they can not take your love unless you let tjem. It is up to you to realize that and not surrender to them. It is vital that you know that love concoures all and will always win regardless of how it seems now..

I would have to agree about the staying professional at all costs and I would add "document everything." Do you still have your original approval letter for visits? I know here that the Institute sends you a letter approving you for visits with a "handbook" explaining what not to wear and what not to bring into a visit, etc. If you were approved and then had visits taken away, they have already set "precedent". I don't know alot about the laws down there, but here if something has already been allowed, a good lawyer or even legal student can go into court and have it resumed because the governing party has allowed it once already with no detrimental effect(precedent).I would also agree with the ladies to keep writing letters, make sure they are fully aware you will not back down. Word them very carefully, just stating what positive results contact visits will have on his rehabilitation. I quoted a paragraph right off Corrections Canada's website out of their Mission Statement in my letter.
We were somewhat lucky as he had been in the system before and knew ahead of time what a nightmare it can be, so I had all the paperwork, etc ready when the time came to submit it.
I wish you luck...keep trying :)

Shannon

Shannon,

In North Carolina they do not send out an approval letter when you are approved on a visitation list. They do no background checks or really even check into who is coming in the prison doors. This is what kills me. My Fiancee can put anyone on his list and they can come and see him even if they have committed the worst crime in history. I can talk to him everyday, which we do usually 3 or 4 times. We can write each other but I better not visit. Like I've said before it is a punishment because I stepped on too many toes in the NCDOC and they don't like it. In other words I peed them off.

Yes I have saved sheet of paper concerning this issue, all the letters I have written and all of the correspondence I have received. I will never give up.

Again Good Luck to you. God Bless

:D