YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS :angry:

This weekend when I was visiting with my sweetheart there was a married couple sitting two chairs down. Suddenly out of no where the inmate hit his wife hard as h*ll in the face and then grabbed her arm so she couldn't move or do anything back. All she could do is sit there and cry. The guards didn't see it happen at all. It all happened really fast. I was so shocked :eek: that something like that would happen right in front of me. The inmate saw that I saw him do it and shot me a "you betta not say sh*t " look. The couple continued to talk and cry together after that. I didnt even consider telling on him, in a situation like this i know its best to mind my own business. Besides when thier visit was over and they got up and walked away, she grabbed her husbands hand, like a proud wife.

I feel so sorry for her, my baby told me that she had been coming faithfully every weekend for the past 4 years and I'm sure she will continue to come. I was just thinking, dang if he'd hit you up in here aint no telling what type of beat downs you'll recieve when he gets out..... :( . I don't know her name but I'm going to pray for her anyways.!!

What a pity - it's a good thing I wasn't there - the guards would've wondered why I was jumping up and down and swinging at him....and my inmate would have jumped his *ss too....how awful for her....

I feel ya, I just don't want my man getting into any trouble over somebody elses drama and since she held his hand when they were leaving, I figued she didn't plan on doing anything about it or maybe she's scared.

I cant believe that! My fiance has done things like pinch me but I never would have thought that a inmate would straight out hit their wife or girlfriend in the visiting room with CO's all around. Too bad they didnt see him. I feel sorry for her.

Man, what a damn shame, I agree with you on the fact that if he did that with no regards in the visitation room while he is already locked up there is definately no telling what he was doing to her tail when he was in the free world. That is a shame and I don't even feel sorry for her, because I mean he is locked up she should have told on him herself or she should have gotten her a** up and walked out to never return to visitation again. People always tell me that I would never know until it happens to me (being hit by a man) because I never have and pray to GOD that I never will, because someone is going to be burrying their son, I promise. I just do not believe in a person hitting another person no matter what, a man hitting a woman, nor us hitting a man, It is crazy and leads into bigger situations.

Woddys girl is soo right!!!

If my fiancee ever in his life thought about hitting me I would march my Azzright on up the the officers desk tell them and them I am out of there!!! never to look back! Cause trust and believe he will beat the crap outta her when he is free!

YOu say that the co's didnt see anything ---imagine that but if you are holding your mans hand or leaning on there shoulder they are all over you!!! Makes you wonder.

ONE

That is so sad....I cant imagine what her life is like when he is home. I can't believe nobody else saw it. If my man had been in there and saw it happen he would have have beat the ***t out of that other inmate. She is in my thoughts and prayers.

That's unbelievable!! I can't believe they didn't see it or chose not to "see it". Wonder if they had working video and if anyone monitoring that saw it.

That is so sad. Could you report it anonymously? If there were cameras, I'd think you'd be able to do without anyone knowing it was you. I can't imagine what happens at their house.

She is definitely in my prayers for strength to leave him.

Thats really messed up..and that tells you what kind of life she has to look forward to...And im pretty sure that isn't the first time he has hit her..thats apparent because he dared to do it there...But as you said she grabbed his hand like a proud wife..she has settled for that...She may not like it but thats what she has settled for and thats sad...Hopefully she will see things clearly one da and make a change for her self....

Call the facility and tell them the date and time of your visit and what happened. Let them review the tapes from the video cameras and take care of it from there. I was abused and I could not possibly walk away without saying something even if it was anonymously!! (I, myself, am so vocal, however that I probably would have said something right then and there!!:nono: ) I was weak at the time of it happening to me...but not now. And I couldn't let it go unsaid because nobody would have to go through that if I had anything to do with it!! Nope....not on my watch!!:angry:

Good luck and I pray that he woman involved sees the wrong and harm in her significant other's ways.:mad:

Cheryl

This is just awful. I still cannot believe that the CO's did not see this. Man they see if my husband put his leg on mine or if I am too close to him and they did not see a man slap a woman, that had to have heard something.

How horrible for that woman, well she is probably use to it, he probably hit her before he want to prison. If my husband did that to me, I would have gotten up and left as simple as that.

They have cameras on at all times, I am really surprised about this. Once during our visiting, a couple was on that outside patio and I have no idea what they were doing but some CO dressed in dark green came rushing in and grabbed the guy and took him away and made the girl leave.

Unbelievable,the sound of the slap/hit/the camera's ,just unbelievable.

This is a good example of a woman who has had the self esteem taken right from her, and long before that day. It's bad enough when a woman has to go home to it, but when she will faithfully go for a visit and be treated that way, it's just sad. But then again, he probably thinks it's his right or some other crap like that. If he were on the street she would probably be dead by now.

I agree with Tigger, I too was an abused wife. I would have been yelling at my husband to do something, because I wouldn't have thought about the consequance for my husband after I left. If he does that to his wife, no telling what he would do to your husband. I would maybe call the unit and tell them but not who you are..... I just pray that she wakes up before he gets out........My heart goes out to her.......

Maybe you should put in a call to the facility and tell them to review the tape. I am so surprized that took place. If I saw something like that I would gasp and probably make a scene so that they would be coming over to find out what happened. So strange that they missed that. I am sure if he did that on a visit he has more of the same for her when she gets home. My husband pinched me once when he didn't like what I was saying to someone. It was so funny he did it under the table and that hurt:p I shut up so quickly when the person left I pinched him right back under his sleeve with my nails:D That was the end of the pinching. lol. I can't remember a pinch since then. Ah well to each his own.

Oh No!! if my fiance ever did something like that to me or even pinched me like someone said here he would regret it I myself would tell the CO on him and that would be the end of it. Can anyone imagen what betting this woman is going to get when he gets out. I will pray for her.

This is heartbreaking...some people just get so beat down that they start to believe they deserve it or "he only hits me sometimes"...this is so terrible. Man dont they have cameras in there? Please pray for her everyday.

I feel more for the woman, than trying to get at her husband by reporting him. Don't get me wrong, I would want that too. But I can not imagine what she was feeling at that time. How did she even "pull herself" together enough that only you noticed? My heart aches for her because she is someone child's and to feel like even in a place like that she can't be protected. I would have said something. But that's just me and I certainly understand your reasonling.I imagine that people have noticed the sign, and ignored them. I imagine that she is in such a place that she feels she has no way out. She is a hostage in this life. I pray that she gets deliverance from this siutation. Imagine feeling so unworthy, that you allow someone to abuse you, and then take on the role of hiding it. I wish that she would log onto PTO, so I could meet my sister.

You know in reality, we can all say what we would do, but the bottom line is we also have to thinkg about our loved ones in there.....If that man has no conscience on beating his wife right there in the open, what do you think he would have done to here husband had she told....

I think I need to clarify my statement. My husband did pinch me but only to tell me to shut the heck up. It was playful (but did sting) which is why i pinched him back. I do not agree with any type of violence and that is NOT the type of relationship we have. I actually thought he was just being silly. So please don't get the wrong idea. It's all love:p



Oh No!! if my fiance ever did something like that to me or even pinched me like someone said here he would regret it I myself would tell the CO on him and that would be the end of it. Can anyone imagen what betting this woman is going to get when he gets out. I will pray for her.

jftazzy102, I can honestly say that I would have said something. I saw a similar situation happen at a facility with a man and what looked like his mother, and I did report it. I do understand the reservation and the reasoning. So I was just expresssing my feelings. I have seen domestic violence up close and personal. And I also know what's it's like when people ignore it for so many reasons. I know from a child's perspective.

rywill, I too have seen it upfront and personal also. And my heart goes out to that lady, I just don't want feefree to feel like we don't understand why she didn't report it....I lived with abuse for nine years. My child and I. so yes I do KNOW first hand........But sometimes we have to look at the big picture. The woman would have defended her husband....freefree even said that she grabbed his hand like a proud wife.....I have been beaten in a public bowling alley full of people and NO NO one tried to stop it. That same night they saw him try to run me over with our car....I wish there was something we all coud do rywill....I am not wanting to offend anyone with what I said....this can be a very emotional topic.....and I am not attacking anyone either.......I posted this response so people know that I too have been through the same thing so I speak with experience also.....rywill maybe you and I could get together and try to help the women that post in this forum.....I thinkg that you and I would make a great team....and yes I am being serious not sarcastic...I would love to help the women suffering.....I love you guys Jeanne

Rywill God is speaking to you!!! You have an amazing heart.

jftazzy102, thanks for the offer, and I would take you up on it anytime. If I came off as attacking to freefree, I do apologize. I thank her for bringing the topic to the forum. I really hate to see anyone suffer. I have seen the after effects of domestic violence in the immediate victim, and others impacted by it. I know that that woman needs to get to a place where she can say "no more, I deserve better." Sometimes, we (speaking for women in particular) don't love ourselves enough to know our value and worth. I pray for her, and even him. He is damaging her very fiber.

All of your responses to this topic are very very helpful, I only wish she was the one reading it but I'm sure someday she may happen upon this very thread and remember that people were praying for her.

There is no need to apologize rywill Its still on my consience on the fact that I felt like I couldn't do anything for her and that she may reject my help even if I tried. Catch 22 situation, i think :no: .

But I thought about approaching this in a proactive way like since she IS there every weekend that if I see her I will maybe tell her to check out PTO one day. It may take some time cause them visitation rooms aren't very socialable places but hopefully I can catch her in the parking lot or something. Is there a business card or flyer I can give her?? I'll keep it in my car and pray that God intervenes.

I'm different that you are, I would have said something. I will never sit idly by and watch some dude smack a woman around. I don't care how he looked at me.

I am such a hothead, I wouldn't have given the surroundings a second thought. I would have done one of two things: 1) walked up to the CO's desk and reported the inmate who hit his wife, or 2) strolled over to the two of them, took her by the hand and led her away, then offered to take her place so he could try being a bully with me instead. Without a doubt, he'd be on the receiving end of the *ss kicking of the century (much more satisfying than telling the COs, too).

I've never had that experience, though, because every man I've ever been with knows I will hit back.
Even if they wanted to hit me, fear of the consequences would have prevented them from doing so.

I may be 100% female, but I do NOT fight like a woman ;)

Were there no cameras? I'm really curious what he's incarcerated for... I hope she finds the strength someday...

That is just awful :(

Free Free here is a link to the PTO flyer you can print and give to her if ever given the chance http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64581

About the cameras, YES there are lots of cameras around. At the time of the incident the CO's (its only two of them) were all the way across the room chit chatting. I think that that prison's visitation rules and/or workers are really lax, even by some of the things you ladies tell me about how the CO's act in visistation and the strictness. I think people in their get away with a whole lot more. I think their is only one lady watching the cameras and from what I can tell she don't be paying attention to them hardly ever. The man defiantely WAS caught on tape but if they not reviewing the tape they won't ever know. Maybe they reviewed the tape. Also, I wasn't the only person who saw it happen but I think the other girls man told her not to say anything also because I don't think that she did. But its really no way for me to know though....

BTW CALI thanks for the flyer link i will definately give her a personal invite to PTO !!!

You made a good point. if you would have said something right then, your husband could have paid the price. I didn't think about that when I posted. Maybe you can anonymously report it?

How awful. Maybe naive on my part but it would be good if somebody could speak/meet up with the wife and see if she cannot get some help.
She may need it badly and presumably there ought to be a way to do that without making matters worse. Ideas/thoughts anyone?

How awful. Maybe naive on my part but it would be good if somebody could speak/meet up with the wife and see if she cannot get some help.
She may need it badly and presumably there ought to be a way to do that without making matters worse. Ideas/thoughts anyone?
I see there are thoughts expressed already that somebody should do something. I would have to be careful that I didn't make things worse for this
poor lady...rather than phone the prison, if possible I would first try
to be less direct. Think what could happen if in the end nothing was done officially ...can you imagine what the man would do given the opportunity!

Can you discreetly find out her name from your man and maybe trace her from that?She sounds like she has learnt how to tolerate his behaviour and hide it from the world how she feels. Completely broken and had all the self esteem beaten out of her poor lady. If I had seen that I would have had to think very carefully for her. If it is reported anonymously, then the man may think she had done it anyway. I dread what will happen to her when he gets out.While he is in, would be a good time for her to make the break, but then he may trace her. There is no easy solution is there, but I think the prison should be told and someone try to trace her. Maybe make a point of being there when she next visits if she visits on a regular day, and get o talking with her?