HE IS HOME AND EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT

MrWife,
I am kind of going through the same thing that you are. My hubby got out on Oct 1st and now it seems like everything is falling apart. He got a job quickly which is good but, the habits of old are still calling to him everyday. Getting high & drinking and the kicker is.....for over a year, he was drug & alcohol free.
I've been thinking very heavily about just leaving the whole relationship alone because, it feels like i am fighting the battle by myself and he just doesn't seem to get it.
It is these same old habits that had him locked up in the first place and I will not go through that anymore.
He's been out a month and we've been married a month and I am trying to stay strong and supportive but, I am having some hard times all by myself. I thought that he would be the rock that I needed him to be like I was for him and now it feels like he doesn't care about us and our relationship and family. And, now there is the chance that we may be having a child together. I don't know what to do so, I will try to take it one day at a time.
Thank you for listening to me and I know that I didn't have any good advice but, i guess that I needed you to know that you're not the only one going through something like this.

Everyone's experience is so different. I wish you both, MRWIFE and D's Angel and your loved ones happiness and joy. Take care of yourselves and keep the lines of communication open with your men. Noone said it would be easy, the things worth having never are.

All the best to you and yours,
Patty

Mrwife and D's Angel, I don't know about the transition from prison to home but I know there is one, for both, communication has to be there for you both to make it, you made it through the hardest part, what kept you together then? Ask God to help you reach him and keep you strong together. You have my prayers

I'm sorry, am I the only one who doesn't get this post? It seems that "the business" was erased and edited to not say the problem, obviously there was a problem because of the reply post, I really do hate when people do this. I mean you post and then edit the post to make it seem as if nothing is going on.

I am sorry that you ladies are having a rough time of it. But I have no idea what is going on. I gather something went awry when your husbands went home..............Anywho. I hope things will get better, or worked out.

woddysgirl i feel you...i cant see what mrwife wrote! i hope all is well girl!

well,
actually, i tried to erased the post because i thought that maybe i was tripping or something. but the problem is that he has been out four days today, he has been out for three nights and days too actually. he does come home during the day, calls me all day and let me know he is alright, but he goes out to the club. the first night he was gone until 5am and the next day he did not come home until 1230pm the next day. i know he has been locked up for so long.

i already knew he was going to want to go out and have fun, that is what he did before he got locked up. he is young and should have fun, but i don't want his kind of fun putting him back in the pen. we talked about it, and even established a curfew. that is good. it is all about communication. he is a wonderful person, i honestly don't think he will do anything to intentionally hurt me, he never has and i don't see why he would start.

he has not started working and since he don't have money he thinks he is being a leech. i told him it ain't about that and things take time, and they will work out in due time. he don't have any family forreal to turn to. i just want to help him make the right decisions with making him feel like i am trying to run his life. i love this man and i refuse to let him fail, because he wants to succeed too bad.

sorry i erased the post, but i thought i was making a judgement to early. he just got out on 10/28/2004- and today is only 11/01/2004

its ok baby. he will be alright, just let him settle in little. i think a cerfew is a good isea. that way you know where he is and when he will be home. one less thing to guess about. remember to talk talk talk. that is so important. other than the small wild streak, how is everything else? how are you adjusting?

Now I see what I missed. I was so lost before I didnt' even realize you erased the post. I think the curfew was a good idea. We don't want him getting too crazy out there in those mean streets. Venting is good and I am happy your man is home. Let's just hope he calms his butt down now:p

Hang in there. I see where your concern is coming in. The curfew is a wonderful idea and if he agrees and follows it then it is easy to see he is trying to please you, but also enjoying being out. Continue to have open communication with each other and make sure you set boundaries with each other. That is just common respect. Ya'll will be fine.

thanks everyone,

we are adjusting pretty good (when he is home) lol. well, i work from 130-1000pm, but other than that we are okay. i only work during the week. today is my first day back since his release. we are spending time together. we watch movies, make out, and all of the above. we try to keep an open communication now, because after that friday stunt, we had to do something. so if anything is bothering me, i tell him and he says he will try to make it better which means we come to some sort of agreement.

Reel him in, tell him what you need and expect that he will do things in a positive manner. I admit I am fortunate where my man is concerned BUT at the same time he knew from the git what I would and would NOT put up with. That's just me. I didn't do time with someone I never knew on the outside to sit on the sidelines now. We established THAT before he even left the joint. Communication is key...

Best of luck to you,
Patty

Everyone's experience is so different. I wish you both, MRWIFE and D's Angel and your loved ones happiness and joy. Take care of yourselves and keep the lines of communication open with your men. Noone said it would be easy, the things worth having never are.

All the best to you and yours,
Patty
i hope you all can make it through this ... my loved one is in wtsp in tennessee and i'm scared it will be the same way when he gets out to.. but all you can do is take it one day at a time.. i wish you the best

best wishes to both of ya'll
tracy