For those of you who's loved ones are out of prison (whether they're home with you, in a halfway house, etc.), how is the readjustment period going? If they're home, what's it like to have them back after being gone for a period of time? If they're in a halfway house or not living with you, how do you make things work for you as a couple?

We're going through one of our challenge periods right now. I don't know what the (bleep) happened. I get the engagement ring then things just started rolling downhill. Like the gods looked down upon he and I and said, "You're just too happy, not enough challenges. Let's throw you a curveball." Like them being in prison and us having to deal with life without them not challenging enough! He says that I'm cranky, I say that he just doesn't have enough patience with me. And so on and so on.

So come on, folks...tell me how y'all did it, or didn't do it.

Mine's in a halfway house- he has been for a little over a month and has until Dec. 9 unless they let him out early. So far, so good. I am still pretty skeptical since I have been through this crap on numerous other occasions with him, but he is so different and I am so glad! He really seems sincere about no more drugs and alcohol, and he went through hell getting a job but he gets up and goes every day even though he has to take the bus and ride his bike for over an hour and a half each way. Then, miracle of miracles: he got his first check last week and after they took out their fee, he gave me almost all of the rest!! I was so shocked- you would think he had come to appreciate how I've handled paying the bills and supporting our daughter all these years while he was busy messing up!!! :eek: As far as being a couple, I only get a chance to visit for a couple of hours on Sunday because we are working opposite shifts, but sometimes I drive to his job and give him a ride back so we can see each other and he calls me every day. I think just the fact that he is so close (less than 10 minutes away) helps too- and, best of all, if I need to talk to him, I can call down there and they call him to the phone! Boy, if you could do that in a regular prison, it would solve a lot of problems!
Anyway, we are getting along well, he is eligible for a furlough in a few days, and we are gradually easing in to being together. I'm glad it's happening this way. One step at a time. He's my honey- only better! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Msaloha & sick'o'p:

So glad to hear from you both!

This too shall pass! You go gilrls!

Please let us know what's up with you, good or bad.

This type of thing is SO VERY IMPORTANT.

best to you both

abner

He's on house arrest at mama's place about 10 minutes from me. The job prospects are few and far between, he gets frustrated about that for a half hour one day a week. We see each other three or four days a week, talk on the phone all the time. He is adjusting really well, we are truly blessed. We choose for the most part to be joyous about these very best of times together. I'm feeling very positive.

Patty

Well, my fiance has been out since June 17.
So much happened while he was gone that his readjustment has been overwhelming at times. I would say, overall, he is doing pretty well. He had a job lined up for when he got out and it was going good, but then the guy he worked for decided he just didn't want to do it anymore and went to work for a different company. So he has been unemployed for almost a month, but staying home with the kids, so I give him props. He saves us $360 a week in daycare expenses which some weeks he wasn't even bringing that much home from work, so I'm happy.

Some times he is rather moody and sometimes he gets so frustrated because his life can't be the way he wants it to because of his Parole/Probation, but there's nothing he can do about it so he's learning to cope.

He has built a wonderful bond with our 10 month old daughter that I gave birth to while he was in. See, I was 2 months pregnant when he went in, so he missed the entire pregnancy and her birth. Now that he is home with her & my son, she has become QUITE the Daddy's Girl. But it is awesome, I'm so glad they have this time to make up for him being away. She was 5 months old when he got out and that was the first time he ever saw her in person.

He seems to get frustrated or angry about things a lot easier than he used to, I mean prior to his incarceration. Just little things that I notice, things that he really wouldn't have cared about before. On the flip side, when it comes to "US", he seems to be more open to compromising than he used to be and always eager to help me out around the house and stuff. Which is funny, too, because I got so used to doing everything on my own at the house, with the kids, etc. that I will just start to do everything on my own out of habit and he will say "Let get that" or "let me do that" and I'm quick to say "I can do it" but I have had to make myself remember that he feels like he needs to do things for me or wants to.

Anyway, this turned into a novel LOL. Like I said, overall it has been good. He has his life on track for the first time in YEARS and is a devoted family man now :)

I know it can be really hard for them. My guy feels that he has to prove things to people he lost so much when he went in. People look at him different now he's lost so many friends or what he thought were friends and that's hard on him. I wish so badly I could help him more but I can't and I feel real bad because I see the strain on him he's so down. He's happy that we get to spend time together but he really wants his life back so badly. We have until May of 2005 until he's out of the work release program and then another two years of probahtion. But I'm thankful that we can at least spend some time together. He does now value us so much more than he used and I'm glad of that. I hope things keep going well for you and everyone else/

How are you all holding up?

abner

Mine has only been home 5 days but he is adjusting well! We don't live together and are in different counties so it will be a bit of an issue as he is allowed no overnights BUT we have to work with what we have and make the best of it even if it means only seeing each other a few times a week.This week has been fine as I am on vacation from work,next week will be harder as he doesn't have transportation or his liscense back yet but so far so good.He has done very well for himself this past week as far ss adjusting and working to get his life back on track