It's the night before my friend's execution, and it's so hard. I'm having a really difficult time. I always knew that this was part of having death row pen pals, but it doesn't make it any easier. I visited him Friday, and it was so hard saying good-bye.

For those of you who have been through this before, what helps? What is a comfort? Because it is so painful to think that if something doesn't happen, he'll die in less than twenty-four hours.

Destiny: the thought of this brings tears to my eyes. I hate that we think we can make God's decisions and kill people. I hate it! It makes me feel ill.

I am so sorry for your friend and for you! ((hugs))
My only comfort when my friend died was knowing he would watch over me and be my guardian angel and I have felt him many times.

My prayers are going out to your friend and to you. PM me anytime.
((hugs))

"The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want."

I too am sorry for you losing your friend. That's a hard one. All I can say is, "I'm sorry and will say a prayer for you and him."

Im so sorry hun I wish I could make the hurt go away.I hope you had a good visit Friday, I know it had to be the hardest thing you've done.How long did you visit?Will you be there tommorow? Just remember we are here for you , trust in God to ease the pain.I'll say a prayer for him.Try and be strong, but let it out when you need to.Take care my thoughts are with you.<<HUGS>>> Dee Dee

Destiny,

I'll be online all day. Please PM me if you want to talk.

All I can suggest is prayer/positive thought (whatever is your thing). Just send him love and strength and spend today in a quiet place where you can get control over your thoughts and listen to your heart.
Rachel xx

Sending you some love and comfort.:grouphug:

ohhhhh (((((((((destiny))))))) honey knowing it is or could happen doesn't make it easier. I am so sorry, I wish i could take your pain away. I know to well the pain you are experiencing right now. I lost the love of my life to an execution several years ago.

The only thing you can do is focus on the happy times you and him had. Focus on how much he brought you and much you gave him by being his friend.

And always remeber, his body may not be here, but he lives because he is in your heart.

For along while after Tracy was executed I screamed in to a lot of pillows. Then I decided to take all my anger and do something positive with it.

Remeber there are stages of grief and you will go through all of them. I always tried to focus on the silly or funny things that tracy did or said.

But give yourself time to grieve and when you need to vent come here and vent away or pm me I have a good ear.

Hugs
softie

I also have a penpal on deathrow, and I hope things work out for him to be free, but I have thought about how I would handle the situation you are in now. I honestly don't know. I will pray for him and you. It must be so hard. Please know my thoughts are with you.

i know there arent any words that i can say to ease your pain, but the fact that you opened your heart to someone the way you did tells me that you will get through it by remembering the good memories you have of your time with him.
i wish you both didnt have to go through this.
i am so sorry. i hope he will be at peace.

you are both in my prayers.

(((destiny)))) Huge hugs
I am so sorry to hear this, it breaks my heart, and the feelings that we see here, arent the feelings that people here, but should.
Please know we are here for you no matter what, and we will always be here.

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you during this tragic time.

I am so sorry. I wish I could do or say anything to help you but I can't... There are no words for it... I keep you and your friends in my prayers!

I'm so sorry, Destiny. I know how you are feeling because I too have been there. It's hard to say how you cope, but you find the strength from somewhere. Once I knew that the execution was definitely going ahead- no more appeals, clemency etc. it was a relief in a way because the not knowing seemed the hardest part.
Dave had sent me a last letter to read after he died, but he didn't stipulate exactly when. So I read it at the time his execution was due to go ahead. I wasn't sure because it seemed a bit wierd, but it helped enormously. It felt as though I was with him somehow, even though I was 3000 miles away.
I know it's a cliche but it does get better. Remember that he is a going to a better place, away from the hell that he has had to cope with these last few years. It's a bit like someone who has a terminal illness. You miss them terribly but they are free of pain. The most important thing is not to get bitter. Nothing will bring him back so forget that he was executed, just that he died. Don't let your memory of him be clouded with political statistics. Even abolitionists sometimes treat executed prisoners as numbers, statistics, categories and I feel that devalues them to a certain extent. At the end of the day they are someone's son or daughter, loved one, sibling and I prefer to remember him like that.
Please get in touch if I can be of any help. But remember that it does get better. Just give yourself time to grieve.
Love
Helen.

Destiny

I am so sorry...I dont think anything eases the pain.Only time. Just have to take one day at a time, and we are all here for you. Sending you a big hug.

Destiny,

BIG HUGS to you. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I wish there was something I could say/do to ease your pain. I have never experienced what you are going through although the fear looms in my mind *sigh*

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your friend and his loved ones.

Hugs

I am so sorry about this. I can tell you that God will see you through this. I hope your friend has asked God for forgiveness if his sins, and excepted him as his personal savior, and if that is the case, he will be just fine. As a matter of fact he will be better than all of us, he will be by the Master's side. My God be with you through all of this.

Destiny: Today is the day and I was thinking of you and your friend. (I have chills now).

God please watch over Destiny and her friend today. Welcome her friend into your loving arms, Lord. Show him the way to the light and teach him how to love himself and to watch over Destiny and those he cares for. Lord, give Destiny healing, peace and the perserverance to continue to reach out to others, knowing they may not be here with us tomorrow. Heal her heart and help the in-justice system change Lord. Only you have the power and the right to give and take life. Not us. Lord, allow the people involved in this killing today to search their conscious and to look within their souls to see they are killers by law. Help them through this too Lord and help them to see only you are the Creator, the giver and taker of life. Amen.
---------
Destiny: I don't know your beliefs. You can substitute Allah or Creator for God. Hope you don't mind the prayer. Just wanted to reach out to you. ((hugs))

For me softheart says it all!

I will be so happy when (IT HAS TO HAPPEN ONE DAY) the US stops all
executions.

I really admire you for what you have been able to do for your friend. I am too
emotionally upset that our society executes inmates to have the strength to visit anyone on DR.
I wish I could do something more constructive for you!

Titantoo

I'm so sorry to hear this :(

When will this madness stop?

Destiny, ((((BIG HUG)))) and strenght sent to your way! I'm keeping you and your friend in my prayers.

Susan

((((((HUGS))))))
You and your friend are in my prayers today...

im at a loss for words. all i can say is (((Hugs))) and i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I read another post that said he was granted a stay !!!!! That is great news...hopefully you won't have to go through this again !!!!

I read another post that said he was granted a stay !!!!! That is great news...hopefully you won't have to go through this again !!!!
Where did you see that? I don't see it in this particular forum.

Yes Mia he was granted a temp stay, the State is fighting it, but hopefully the stay won't be lifted. So this is wonderful news. Here is the link about it Mia, plus it is all over the news.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?p=813593

softie

FANTASTIC! PRAISE GOD!:D :D :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Yeahh...I am crying! This is great news! I pray they do't lift the stay and the story has a happier conclusion!

That is so wonderful... :) yes, let's all pray they don't lift it.

I'm praying for you, May God Bless this situation and watch over ya'll..

Lets all hope our prayers are answered. I pray with all my heart that things will be ok

Skyblue

now thats what im talking about!!!!!! i love good news!!!! GOD IS GOOD!!!! im happy for you both. i hope all continues to go well.

Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and prayers, everyone. They really have meant a lot in the past several days.

Unfortunately, his stay was lifted. His appeal was turned down by the Supreme Court, and he was pronounced dead at 7:59 p.m. I feel terribly for all of those who were closer to him than I was. He truly was an incredible man.

Handling it has been difficult. The first several days were extremely difficult, but I'm learning to cope. I just keep thinking about everyone else who knew him... they are so strong. It's not getting easier... it's just getting different. The smallest things can start me crying again.

I visited my best friend (who is also on DR at Polunsky) on Friday, and he really made me feel better. He and Dominique were really close, and talking to him really put me at ease. His birthday is today... what a terrible birthday present... his friend is killed earlier in the week. He's handling it with grace, though.

I'm trying to focus my attention on other things. Unfortunately, it looks as though I'll have to do this again in a couple of weeks. Another one of my friends has a date set in mid-November, and he and I have gotten pretty close in the past several months. It blows my mind just how close the friendships become once he receives a date. Everything is just magnified...

But thanks, to everyone. The support system here has made such a huge difference. Here, people ask how I'm doing because they CARE, not because they have some morbid fascination for those tied to death row inmates like I've been getting from people in the world around me or from the media. Please, never change your beautiful selves, and keep those hearts as big and warm as they are.

Destiny, you are a real remarkable women. They are real lucky to have a angel like you in the corners. What you do for these men need to be recognized. It takes a real strong person to be their friend. My prayers are for you, that you may have the strength to carry on what you are doing. I am so sure that it gives them peace at the end to have been touched by such a beautiful and caring person as yourself. God Bless, Love Jeanne

"You are a real remarkable women. What you do for these men need to be recognized. It takes a real strong person to be their friend."

I have to agree. I am so emotional and upset about the whole death penalty scene that I know I wouldn't have the strength to do what you do. Maybe one day. Meanwhile I admire what you do enormously.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{destiny}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} no words for it lady you have MAJOR courage and love.

Keep your strength!! Your an awesome person.God bless you.

Destiny, I can t imagine what your going through, but like evryone else i think that you are a remarkable person and you will surely be blessed. Time will heal and you will ALWAYS have your memories. God bless you, Dominique and any and everyone else going through the same thing. I will also keep you both in my prayers. Rest in peace Dominique.

I am sorry to hear that ..

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a pain I have yet to feel. I have only the fear of that impending day to face, thus far. I do admire your courage and heart, as I am sure your friend did as well. May God bless you as you heal from your loss. Like many others here in the forum my thoughts and prayers are with you and I am only an e-mail away, if you need.

All I can say is I'm sorry God BLess..

Life's about changing ... nothing ever stays the same
...How can I help you to say goodbye
It's okay to hurt, it's okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try...
-Patti Loveless

I am praying for you. Know that you made a significant difference in his life and that he is in more peace because of you. let your emotions out. I'm so sorry for this... We'll all be here for you. Love you!

I am sorry for your loss. You are truly awesome lady. After all I want to wish you nice X-mas time, and all the best luck for new year.

Thanks... it does mean a lot. It's been about a month and a half since he was executed, and while it's tough, everyone seems to be making it. Thanks for all the well-wishes that everyone offered. They do make a difference.