We lost Jimmy Friday after only 2 months and 10 days of being home. I am so thankful that he was able to spend the time he had left at home with his family instead of in that cold prison. I'm sorry that I didn't post updates during the last 2 months. I have had my hands full with helping care for Jimmy and worrying about him. The worry is gone. His pain is gone. Our hearts will heal a little over time. Take care.

jimmy_sis

I'm so sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace. Also like you said, at least he didn't die in that cold prison, he was surrounded by his loved one. You and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts.

Michelle Z.

Oh I am so, so very sad reading this. I have been thinking of him so much. I am glad he spent the last couple of months with his loving family. You did so much to help him-I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and can hardly write. You and your family and Jimmy are all in my prayers - Blessings to you all.

So sorry - my condolences to you and your family. You are in my prayers.

My condolences to you and your family.
We are here for you if you need us :)

jimmy sis

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm happy he got to spend his last days with his loved ones.

I will keep you and yur family in my thoughts.

May you rest in peace Jimmy.
Phil

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

Nancy

(((((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))

My thoughts and prayers are with you doing this time...I am glad he was able to spend his last days with his family...God bless you all

I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for your loss. May God bless you. You and your family are in my prayers.

**{HUGS}}

I'm sorry to hear of the lost of your loved one. May you and your family find strength in our Lord's loving arms. (Hugs)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Thank you all for your support and prayers. It means a lot to me. To know that there are people out there that we don't even know keeping us in their prayers is just so comforting.

We have all had so many emotions going on this last few months. We are so angry with the DOC right now. I know part of it is just looking for someone to blame and all that, but they don't make things easier. We were already angry because if they had just done something like an X-RAY or MRI or something when he had his lung infection back in September of 2003, maybe they would have caught the cancer before it spread to his jaw. He started having problems with his jaw in December of 2003. If they had started chemo in September for the lungs, that could have meant that he never would have lost the 60 pounds he lost before he came home. He couldn't eat because of the cancer in his jaw since January! It took them until June to get the feeding tube in! Of course we will never know if he would have made it if things were done differently, but I believe he might have not had to suffer as much if it was caught earlier. If all of that wasn't enough...

I have another brother, Ronnie, who is also incarcerated on drug charges. He is 1 year younger than Jimmy. He was also very close to Jimmy his whole life. We had been trying to get a visitation arranged already for him to get to see Jimmy before he passed, but it hadn't gone through yet. When he passed away this past Friday, we called the chaplain at the prison Ronnie is in within an hour of him passing away. Basically, they told us that having someone die on a Friday and the funeral on a Monday is inconvenient. Anyway, they never would tell us for sure that he would get to come to the funeral for security reasons, but they had told Ronnie that they would bring him. We made the funeral at 2:00 pm on Monday to give time for the 4 hour drive they would have to make and all that. Well - they didn't get him there. I am so mad about it all. I know that Ronnie is being punished for his crime and all that, but they do take inmates to immediate family funerals, so I wish they would have given him the chance to have some closure. He hadn't even got to see Jimmy since he had been sick. He has been in since December of 2003. I wish the DOC didn't have so much red tape.

I can understand your frustration and anger jimmy_sis. You did everything you possibly could and because of that he was able to spend the last few months with his family. That must bring you so much comfort. I also believe things happen for a reason and perhaps that's why Ronnie wasn't able to attend the funeral - it might have been too unbearably hard for him to have to leave his family and go back alone to prison. I hope you will find some peace soon - you deserve it and Ronnie will need you more than ever now. Please come back for support and keep us posted about Ronnie. Jimmy's story has touched me so much - you are all in my prayers.

Thank you. You are right. I never even thought about it that way. I was so blinded by my anger that they didn't let Ronnie come, that I didn't think about how hard it would have been to be there in restraints in front of all of us and then have to go back to jail. Maybe it was better that way.

It is wierd that I didn't see that. I have been trying to find reasons for everything in this situation and I came up with so many explanations that comforted me. I figured that it was God's time for Jimmy to go. Maybe God knew that Jimmy was in the right place and it was the best time. I mean he didn't go two years ago when he had a needle in his arm. He went when he had decided to turn his life around and make things different. Maybe God knew how hard it would be for Jimmy with his life on the outside trying to stay clean and sober. Maybe he knew that this was the only time that was the right time.

I wasn't at the house when he died. I figured that was for my protection. I was going to be there the next day. Maybe Jimmy and God knew that I coudln't handle being there when he died.

The other thing was the situation with his partner of 14 years, Vicky. She had been in trouble a couple of years ago with Jimmy. She got probation and he got prison. While he was in prison and going through rehab and getting his mind in the right place, she was on the outside and was still getting drunk every day and doing drugs. Well, when Jimmy was getting out of jail in August, we were so worried about him wanting to go back to their house. She had all kinds of people over there all the time drinking and doing drugs. He was too sick for that. The very week that he was released, she was put in county jail on probation violation. So, it worked out that he stayed at my parents' house and got the proper care he needed without us having to worry if someone was going to steal his pain medication or whatever. Then, here is the wierdest thing of all. She was released from the county jail at 2:00 am on Friday morning. My dad went and picked her up. She stayed up at my mom and dad's house with Jimmy the rest of that night until almost lunchtime the next day. Then, she went to their house to vacuum up and get things in order since she had been gone for a couple of months. (Also, Jimmy had just got his first social security check that week to turn back on the electric and all that...) Anyway, he died at 1:50 pm Friday while she was over at their house. It was like he waited for her to come home so he could see her one last time, but he didn't want to die with her there. It was like he (and/or God) knew that he loved her and needed to see her again, but he couldn't stay with her, because things just couldn't be the same as they were before he went to jail.

Then there was the phone call that I made at a little bit after 1:00 pm on Friday to my mom and dad's house. My dad told me that he wasn't doing too good that he had to go to the ER the day before to have a catheter put in because he couldn't urinate and that only blood was coming out. He said that Jimmy had just been laying on the couch all morning and was kind of listless. After I got off the phone, I got on my hands and knees and prayed out loud harder than I had ever prayed that God make his hurting go away. I was basically just begging "God, Please, Please, make him stop hurting. It was within that hour that he died.

I mean we all knew how bad he was doing and that it would happen sometime in the next few days, weeks or months, but nobody expected it that very day. Even the hospice didn't know that it would happen that day. They usually see clearer signs that it is going to happen soon and when it is at that point, they stay in the home around the clock with the nurse and the chaplain right by the patient's side. They weren't there either. Maybe that was because Jimmy didn't want to die with people outside the family there.

I don't know. I have always believed in God or a higher power of some kind, but you never see things as clearly as you do during a birth or a death. I'm sorry to write a book here, but I just wanted to share all of those things with you.

may god be with you during your time of need and comfort. jimmy is in a better place now. love and hugs ~ashtynn

jimmy_sis- I am glad you shared this with us. I sent you a PM with some personal thoughts. Please let us know how Ronnie is doing. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless You!