My son found out yesterday exactly what the pending charges against him are. Right now it doesn't look good. His Article 32 hearing is tomorrow and I think they are supposed to let him know his court date. Needless to say, when I talked with him last night, he was terribly depressed - to the point of really scaring me. I just tried my best to calm him and try to convince him that this is another hurdle we have to deal with. Too bad his attorney had him optimistic concerning the charges or lack of. That definitely made things worse. I made him promise to call me tonight after seeing the therapist today - hopefully he will call and will have calmed somewhat. To top it off, my oldest son informed me that he and his wife will probably be separating. Just not sure how much a person is supposed to deal with all at once! (Sorry that I am sounding like "woe is me")

Please keep praying -
Pam

arrrgh Pam who could blame you? That's a lot to be carrying. Hang in there. Hugs and best wishes that it will soon level off and things will work out in some way...old PTO mantra, expect the worst and hope for the best...

Pam, I am really sorry you had bad news about your son's charges and about your other son's marital problems. Just remember that the Art 32 is only a probable cause hearing and that, unlike in our civil system, both sides get to present their evidence to the Investigating Officer. Maybe the evidence won't support the referred charges and he'll end up with lesser charges. I'll keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer for you and your son. I know you are feeling overwhelmed right now, but try to remember that You are not responsible for your children's decisions and that the consequences are not yours to bear. I know, a mother feels the hurt and pain just as acutely as the child does, but try to be strong. Keep encouraging your son to talk to the therapist. One thing, though: if his attorney is planning to use any "mental defect or disease" as a defense, he places it in issue and the patient/therapist privilege can be broken. It is very scary to hear them when they are so depressed. I know I felt completely hopeless and near absolute panic when my son was on suicide watch--and he was halfway around the world. He assured me it wasn't that serious and he didn't know why they did it. Just try to keep communicating with him as often as possible so you will know what is going on with him. We're here for you. Hang in there, hon.
~Lisa

Thanks so much for the thoughts and responses. It does mean a lot to know there is support out there - even if it is through cyberspace. I feel that my son is so uninformed and that has to be the fault of his attorney. Now, maybe the attorney feels that if my son has any questions, he will answer them - but the problem is - my son really doesn't know what to ask! For example, yesterday he found out what the prosecution is asking in the way of sentences for each charge (this through word of mouth, I might add). Erron automatically thinks that is what he will be serving. I tried to tell him that that is very seldom the case. I'm not very well versed in criminal law but I do read enough to know that the prosecution will typically ask the maximum allowed, knowing that chances are they will get a portion of that. I do not understand his attorney's reluctance (for lack of a better word) to explain everything to him. I have no idea what his area of defense will be and as I understand it, he doesn't meet or talk with Erron often at all. Why couldn't I be wealthy enough to get a civilian attorney involved!! UGHH - THE FRUSTRATION OF IT ALL. All I want is for my son to have as fair of a chance as possible.

Thanks again for "listening"
Pam