Guys, as men, some of us consider our duty to take care of, protect and support our women mentally, physically and spiritually. I often feel like I let her down. Like I could’ve put pressure on some people not to press charges, I could’ve handled my business better at home and eliminated any needs, wants or cravings to take the money in the first place. I could’ve realized she was mentally out of it during the whole case and stepped up and taken charge, I could’ve done so many things.

Now I realize that putting pressue would’ve been dumb, because it probably wouldn’t have worked and it would have forced me to up the pressure to much and we would BOTH be in jail right now (which is why SHE told me NOT to do it). I didn’t know what was going on, so how could I have stopped it. I may not be making since, but every now and than those thoughts pop into my head and I have to write or talk about them to put things into perspective.

I'm not one of the guys, but I do have my opinion.
We ALL could say "shoulda, woulda & coulda's" but we make the best choices at the time, and we have to live with them. Don't look back, just look forward.
Falling into a depressed state about what you could have done, isn't going to help her inside. Trust me, I understand...but sometimes we have to talk ourselves out of that kind of thinking. Good luck on your journey.

I so believe things happen for a reason. I hated to see her go in. I knew she was getting in deeper and deeper and not considering the consequences. So here we are, and who knows how bad things may have become if this all hadn't happened. She, more than anyone, knows she has had her share of second chances.

Sometimes I get the “why not me” feeling. I don’t know if that’s my need to be chivalrous or genuine feelings. We’ve spent most of our 14 years together with one of us committing one crime or another. She was the one to get caught. That adds a lot of the stress also.

Believe me, you know as well as I, that you're both
doing time. I know I am. Can't turn back the hands of
time, so keep looking forward. That's where your future
is.

Believe me, you know as well as I, that you're both
doing time. I know I am.
So true.

Post mortems are best left in the mortuary where they belong. The way to go is to say we made a mistake. lets learn from it and go forward in the sincere hope that we've learnt our lesson and will avoid the same errors in the future. As someone else says prisons are not to teach, not to punish. They are purely to remove from society those who have not complied with the rules of that society hence the easiest thing is to ensure you follow the rules .
Rgds
John

I'm not "one of the guys" either, but I feel the need to say I've fealt this many times. If only I would've talked to him more, showed him his self worth more, showed him he was LOVED and it really was worth fighting for. Unfortunately, the "ifs" don't stop the inevitable. WHat we have to do here, is work thru our grief, anguish, and despair. We all did what we thought best at the time. Our loved ones NEEDED to learn a lesson here. We can't protect them from everything. PLEASE know you've done your best and now it's time to learn and move forward. ANd try to find something positive out of such a negative and painful experience.

Stacy