View Full Version : Help Me, This Is New To Me!!! (how do you cope emotionally?)


jasonslovebug
10-16-2004, 11:14 PM
So, I can't help but notice that the holidays are quickly approaching. They will be here before we know it. Well this is my first holiday season without my baby Jason. Does anyone have any advice to give me that can help me get through this difficult time. I haven't been handling this whole Jason being gone to prison thing very well. We have a one year old daughter and I really don't want to ruin the holidays for her so any advice will be greatly appreciated. I am sure that someone here has survived the holidays and can offer words of wisdom to little Amanda who seriously need it. Thanks yall!!!

Amanda

Oh yeah, I think this site and the members are so great!! I have noticed that since i discovered this site that i have been dealing with the whole prison thing a little better anyways. Thanks yall are the bestest!!!

ljh044
10-17-2004, 08:52 AM
A few suggestions:
Accept that it's OK to be sad sometimes.
Accept that it's OK to be happy sometimes.
Do what feels right to you, even if it's different from what you're used to doing.
Get out of your self and do something for someone else.
Stick with people who are positive and supportive; avoid people who are negative and blaming.
Experience the season through your daughter's eyes--she will be amazed and delighted at things that you might otherwise overlook.
Remind yourself that this is only a temporary situation; if you got through yesterday, you can probably get through today as well.

Holidays can be hard or wonderful or anything in between; you have a choice about how you will spend yours. Peace and love.

chinikfb
10-17-2004, 09:03 AM
Peace....Love the previous posts! Amanda, know that it is not easy for most of us..the holidays are the days when so many people feels lost and alone..not just those of us separated by bars. Take youself out of yourself is a favorite line of mine as mentioned by ljh044. Plan now to have a gathering with people who care about you and the little one. If you suspect that the holiday will take you to a place that you do not want to be, address it by being with or doing those things that bring you joy. Blessings....

Charliesgirl
10-17-2004, 03:42 PM
ljh044....you said it perfectly...THANK YOU

jasonslovebug
10-17-2004, 09:38 PM
Thanks for the great advice everyone. I think that it will be ok. Like they say if it doesn't kill us it makes us stronger, so I guess that the members of this site are gonna be really strong because we all have been through some really tough stuff. Once again thanks.

Amanda

HasNAie
10-17-2004, 10:06 PM
This will be my second winter with out my "Sunshine" but I learned something from the first...Right around Holiday time I really was in a funk..It took me forever to put up my christmas tree and my youngest daughter was like Mommy are we going to have a christmas tree this year an if we dont how will Santa Claus find us...I felt so bad about that but I REALLY wasn' feeling it...I put up my tree and did all the motions but still wasn't all there... Then my man sent me a Christmas card in the mail...I was shocked..Why??he doesn't celebrate christmas...Yes he buys everyone gifts but he doesnt go through the motions like everyone else...and the card he sent me had santa Reindeer and all..and inside he wrote me something and ended it with Merry Christmas...I cried...and I said to myself..If he is getting with the spirit then there is no reason why I shouldn't.....That realization hit me hard and it gave me the momentum I needed...You will be ok....And what I have just now realized is that this will be my first Holiday with PTO so it should be better than last...Welcome to PTO Lovebug!!!

MissDB
11-23-2004, 01:20 PM
Hi Amanda~

Wow! When I read your post I thought about my situation. I spent last Christmas without my boyfriend. Not to mention I had a four month old son and now this Christmas is fast approaching, and....well you know; you just have to lean more on your family, friends, and God. Try to be optimistic about everything. Remember he won't be in there FOREVER! And remember you have to stay strong for your kid...Good Luck!

MissDB

jftazzy102
11-23-2004, 01:32 PM
Amanda, I wasn't going to celebrate any of the holidays..For thanksgiving I am flying to Texas on a real cheap flight. Then comes Christmas---nope not me, not going to put up a tree, buy presents except for my son, no lights etc.....Then I was at Wal-Mart buying Christmas cards for our loved ones,(for the christmas card project) and there it was. A christmas tree for 15.00. You know what I bought it. I also bought new ornaments for it. Sure it won't be the same, and yes I miss him trebblely. I want him home NOW. But I have to be real about it. He isn't going to be home for Christmas and HE would not want me NOT to have the tree etc.....So for HIM and my son that is why I am doing it and that is how I will get through it. Besides have to send pictures. Just keep your chin up it will be okay. Love Jeanne

lilmama26
11-23-2004, 01:37 PM
A few suggestions:
Accept that it's OK to be sad sometimes.
Accept that it's OK to be happy sometimes.
Do what feels right to you, even if it's different from what you're used to doing.
Get out of your self and do something for someone else.
Stick with people who are positive and supportive; avoid people who are negative and blaming.
Experience the season through your daughter's eyes--she will be amazed and delighted at things that you might otherwise overlook.
Remind yourself that this is only a temporary situation; if you got through yesterday, you can probably get through today as well.

Holidays can be hard or wonderful or anything in between; you have a choice about how you will spend yours. Peace and love.


This is the best advice I have heard in a long time!