I know and elderly couple that has a drug addict son that is making there life miserable. He lives in the back room of there home and when things dont go his way he gets verbally abusive and starts throwing things so on and so forth!!! We have called the cops for them and they just go and pay for him to get out of jail. There daughter has tried to get involved and it just makes things worse on them They just cater to him trying not to set him off, when they should be enjoying there retirement and having fun. Does anyone out there have any suggestions on how to help them?

When they've had enough, they won't go bail him out.

Alanon may help them get there faster.

That is what I thought. But I am really worried. Just last week my mother was at there home visiting. There son had left for probation and the he forgot to bring some papers with him and went back to the house raising heck, it upset my mother so bad she came home crying. Of course then that makes me upset. Its crazy how many people they actually affect when drugs are involved. I didnt think about AlANON. I will gather some information and send there way. Arent there some kind of "Tough Love" programs out there.

If I didn't know better, I would think my brother is alive and well(?) and still living with my parents. From my own personal experience shy, there is nothing you can really do. I hate to say it, but I fought this battle for many years with my own parents. The only way they would admit to my brother's drug problem was when he was murdered selling drugs. I wish I had a better answer, but I don't.

cracknegg!!!!!!!!!!! i am so sorry for the loss of your brother!!!!!

lil shy shy, it is hard to get family sometimes to acceept the problem...and stop resqueing..mine would give me 30 days to fiind a rehab or i was on the streets...it worked for me...

it iiis not ez to do...but, it may save his life..at the same time....my family knew i might die on the streets...but, they knew for sure i would die if they kept enabling me...

my heart goes out to you!!!
pm me anytime

i have been on both sides
francis

I too am sorry for the loss of your brother...denial really is a "killer" because it allows us to destroy ourselves and those who enable us, it keeps them "in the dark" until something really bad happens then we go around saying "woulda coulda shoulda!"

I have learned one thing, all you can do to help is to make a suggestion

Oh I know all about that "woulda coulda shoulda" stuff!!! There is so much that I have learned in the past 3 years of being with my man. Things I should never have learned but I say I am with him for a reason because he has taught me alot about my brother that I would have never know otherwise. My brother and I have never really been that close until recently.
It has taught me about my neighbors son too! This lady is like a grandma to me. To see her go through this and knowing there is nothing you can do because the love she has for her son! She is embarressed of his actions because we all got together and had a garage sale and did real good the first day, then the second day he was throwing a "tantrum" and she would not set the sale back out. She said she did not want to be embarressed by him. I told her to let me talk to him and she wouldnt it. She said it would only make things worse on her and her husband. SO I figure I will send some litature and maybe some self help books to her and just pray for her family.

cracknegg
I to am sorry for the lost of your brother. What makes me sad is why do they have to get so involved in things like that?

My parents make me sad to as well because of the money they have put out on my brother. He is in the worst trouble now! I just wished they would have followed through with saying he has to get his own self out but it never happen and look where he is now!

Y'all are going to think I am really cold for this, but there is no need to feel sorry for me. My parents did the same thing your neighbors are doing but in our case he started breaking the law when he was in first grade and made my other brother's and my life a living hell because of it. I wish I had some magic words I could give you to make your neighbors realize they are only making it worse for enableing him, but I don't. I will say a prayer for them, for no one deserves to live like that.