OK I HAVE A FRIEND WHO BABYS DAD IS INCARERATED FOR KIDNAPPING THERE SON AND FIGHTING WITH HER . NOW THE DELEMMA STEPS IN BECAUSE I GUESS THEY BOTH REALLY DO LOVE ONE ANOTHER , BUT AT THE TIME HE TOOK THERE SON AWAY FROM HER , THEY HAD SPLIT UP AND WERE GOING THROUGH A CUSTODY ISSUE AND MORE OR LESS HE WAS UPSET WITH THE DECISEN THE JUDGE MADE AND THAT WAS FOR HIM TO HAVE NOT VISITS OR NOTHING WITH THE BABY , SHE WAS TO HAVE FULL, SOLE AND LEGAL CUSTODY. WELL HE WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE TO TALK TO HER AND THINGS GOT ALL TWISTED AND THERE WAS A ARGUMENT AND HE LEFT IN HER CAR WITH THE BABY. HE LEFT THE BABY AT A RELATIVES HOUSE , AND SHE GOT HIM BACK LATER ON THAT NIGHT . BUT NOW HE WAS FOUN , HE WAS ON THE RUN FOR 3 MONTHS WHEN HE GOT CAUGHT. SO NOW HE IS FACING THOSE CHARGES OF KIDNAPPING,GTA,SPOUSAL. I GUESS THEY ARE LOOKING AT GIVING HIM 15-20 YEARS. BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TESTIFY AGAINST HIM BECAUSE THAT IS HER SONS DAD , AND SHE IS WORRIED THAT WILL END UP AFFECTING THE BABY , WHEN HE GETS OLDER. BUT ALSO I GUESS HE HAS BEEN TALKING TO HER AND HE EXPLAINED THAT THE WHOLE REASON FOR THAT STUPID ACT HE DID WAS BECAUSE HE WAS ALL TRICKED OUT HIS MIND WAS NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT HIS INTENTIONS WERE GOOD. AND THAT HE LOVES HER AND WANTS HIS FAMILY BACK TOGETHER.NOW MY QUESTIONS COMES IN IS , DO YOU THINK HE IS TRULY SORRY AND WILL CHANGE AND MEANS WHAT HE SAYS. OR DO YOU THINK HE IS JUST SAYING THAT SO SHE WILL HELP HIM GET OFF WITH DOING A LOT OF TIME ? PLEASE HELP !

Well, to start off, LOTS of men just say things while they sre in a position like this in order for someone to feel for them and help them out, but that dosen't mean it is necessarily true in this situation.
Clearly, the guy obviously does need to seek professional help, he said his intentions were good, but if there is something I have learned about intentions, it's this:
"There are good deeds, and there are good intentions, and the two are as far apart as Heaven and Hell." (Ben Harper)
Franklly, I don't think he had any good up his sleeve in kidnapping his child and running... what good could come out of that? It is not abnormal at all that your friend does not want to testify against the father of her child, of course there is feelings there and after all, it is her son's dad, and even if the two of them can't make it it is understandable that she would not want him put away for 15-20 years and her son grow up and become a man without ever really knowing his father..... traumatic experience up ahead....caution.
Wether she chooses to testify against him or not does not always make a difference. It is kind of like you can't un-break what you already broke, you can fix it, but you can't un-break it. A lot of it is up to the DA now. Sure, she can throw her two cents in, but if they want to give him time, they will. Ahh, honesty, it cuts like a knife sometimes. I feel for your friend and the position she is in. She knows him right? Does he have a history of saying things and not following through? What is her gut instinct here? If this just happened, she probably can't even see straight, let a lone make big decisions... been there.
Be there for her.

Do you have children? Sometimes a parent can be so emotional over losing rights to a child that it makes them do irrational things out of desperation...did he harm the child? I doubt that very much...cut him some slack...there are men out there that would die for their children and are very emotional...

I really don't know.But it sounds like a really tough situation.I would look at why he kidnapped the kid.If it was because he wanted to see him or what?? If he wanted to see him he prob loves the child very much,I don't know the whole stroy.But I wish all of ou the best maybe someone else will have some better insight..Goodluck and God Bless!

I don't know either since I don't know this guy, but I have a feeling at this point it's out of her hands. I imagine they will press charges whether she testifies or not. It sounds like a real mess- I'm sorry everyone is going through it.

It's hard to speak to someone's intentions. You really don't know how someone else feels. He found out that he doesn't even have visitation rights. I have heard of a lot of parents taken their children after a custody hearing b/c the judge said that they can't see them. I don't know what he was on the run for prior to that, I have no clue why the judge handed down such a strick custody decision against him. Right now, all you and your friend can do is pray. Ask the Lord to give her guidance about testifying and prayer for the father's deliverance. Most of all pray for her son.

This is a tough one. One part of me says he means he's sorry and the other says no way. Has he ever done this type of stuff before?

A question about getting the baby back- did he set it up for her to get the baby back?? Or did she find out where he was and get him back herself?? It is possible that he could mean it. Another thing if they are legally married I have heard that wives don't have to testify against their husbands. I don't know how true that is but that could help her too.

I agree this is a tough one. Also also agree that if there was any kind of pattern before then that needs to be thought about. If this was the first and only time they had major issues then there is a chance he is truely sorry. If there is a pattern of troubles in the relationship then its a good chance he is saying whatever he needs to say to get back in her life. Often times men will say what ya want to hear at the moment.

The fact that the judge DIDNT give him visitation rights with the child makes me think there is a lot more to this guy. Yet at the same time if there was no valid reason the judge denied visits then I cant say I woudnt have done the same thing. The idea of someone saying you cant ever see your kids would probably make anyone do something stupid. If thats the basis behind his actions then maybe he is being honest in what he's saying to her.

She should really look at ALL sides of the picture.

I sent you a PM on your thread as I"ve been in a similiar situation myself involving my son and his biological father. I think she needs to testify against him. I don't think she should have any pity on him. He had no right to take her child from her. I don't think it matters if he did or didn't tell her where he was. It's the fact that he took her child after he was told he had no rights. That's kidnapping.
I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

I wouldn't cut him slack

He used the child to hurt her, that's WRONG. PERIOD!

Whether he actually "kidnapped" the kid really, matters only if he acted against a court order, which it sounds like he did and in that case, should face the legal consequences and I wouldn't feel sorry for him.

But that's as I See it! I've never had my child nor used my child against anyone but I also wouldn't be so forgiving if I was wondering DESPERATELY where my child was!