Loving DR inmates is SO hard at times, not because of anything they do, but because of the situations surrounding them. Although I really do think that we get stronger as time goes by. How long have you been dealing with DR, and have you found that your hope and love has strengthened in this time?

i havent been doing time with him on the row for long, but i do know that i deeply love my man and i dont plan on going anywhere. i plan to stick with him thru it all. our relationship is only growing stronger and im gonna remain strong with him and for him regardless of the circumstances.

Hard, yes. But magickal too. In many ways it's very old fashioned. Communicating not instantly as we are so used to in our world but long hand snail mail. Antisipation keeps things alive.
He's only been on DR for about 7 months so we are new at this. We've been back together for 6 of those months. (Old partners who had lost track of each other 12 years ago)
We have rediscovered the joy we had back then with a greater intensity. Situation or maturity? Who knows, but we are making everyday special because they are so limited. Take nothing for granted, everyday is a gift.

It's funny you say magical,I call him Magic with capital "M" :) The love you feel for them is unconditionaly,yeah it is hard but I learned from him that you always should make the best out of the worse,and that is what I do.The worse thing for me is know that he is suffering a great deal on a dayly bases...:( But even though I have had the happiest year and a half of my life,he really makes me happy!

I haven't been with him that long...although there are some ladies around here who have stood by their man for many years !! They are inspirational testimony that things really can work...

I struggled for the first bit...as the romance began to develop. I couldn't grasp falling in love with someone and growing closer to someone that I might lose to the state at any time... He has helped me a lot to overcome this and to take things one day at a time. I think that is the key...to enjoy each day and not worry about tomorrow...

At the end of the day...I'd rather live one day with him than without him...I'm not sure where this romance will take us but we will be friends to the end.

Sorry to take away from your post Destiny...however...

just a question for all of you,and i do not mean any disrespect when i ask this. does it not concern you that they are in DEATH ROW. they did not get there for being choir boys. how wonderful do you think they would be if they were on the street. i think some of you ladies need to wake up from fantasy land.


Excuse me but I dont think your comment is proper here. You are entitled to your opinion but I dont think what you said is called for. You probably dont understand it because you are not in it! Sure they may have made a really horrible mistake that put them on death row but anyone can be forgiven. Dont judge anyone unless you are ready to be judged. I am sure you got some skeletons in your closet also. Leave these ladies alone! I dont think there is a rule book for love that says you can only love a certain type of person. Everyone deserves love!!! :blah:

how many of these guys made actual mistakes or knew what they were doing???? how is it a mistake to kill someone??

Why dont you let God be the judge of that instead of shooting them down? What is it to you anyway that these women are in love with someone on deathrow?

you are right i dont understand because i am not in it,and i never will understand. thats why i am asking these questions. i am sure you ladies have heard them more than once from family and friends. you ladies are verystrong and your guys are lucky to have you, most ladies could not be in that kind of relationship. I am not on here to get everyone all fired up i am looking for information only, for a paper i am writing for the govt against the death penalty. You must admit some people on these post make there loved ones sound like saints that were wrongly convicted. I will bet some are but there is a reason you get life in prison or death row. so everyone relax the more information i get the better my arguments will be when i turn the paper in to the justice dept.

i am not judge anyone i need information only

Well it didnt sound like you were asking from a curious point of view..you came off pretty critical. You have to understand how hard it is. I have a pen pal on death row and he is the nicest person I have met in my life...very caring. You have to know someone's story before you make judgements. Its easy to make assumptions when you just look at the surface. If you really want to know why dont you ask someone on death row. Get a penpal. Maybe that will help you understand.

Ranger1 searching for understanding is a good thing. It's not what you ask but how you ask. The prison system is full of people that have made mistakes; but so is the world and if you look in the mirror and be honest you can be included.

The lost of a life is tragic, destructive, harmful, and painful for both the family and friends of the person lost and the families and friends of the convicted. You can find love in a lot of places. When you love someone---really love someone, you can hate things they have done and still accept who they are.

Fortunately for us, we are no soley a sum of our deeds.... But our connections, our challenges, our experiences, our love and most of all our hope!

just a question for all of you,and i do not mean any disrespect when i ask this. does it not concern you that they are in DEATH ROW. they did not get there for being choir boys. how wonderful do you think they would be if they were on the street. i think some of you ladies need to wake up from fantasy land.i know you meant no disrespect by your comment but it did offend me a little as im sure it did some other viewers of this thread. yes i know, as most of us do, that my man is on DEATH ROW. we do not need to be reminded of that daily. we live that reality everyday! bottom line is regardless to if theyre on death row or not, theyre still people and entitled to the same love adn concern that you get every day. we know they didnt get on the row for being choir boys but if you have a loved one in prison im sure they didnt end up where they are for being a saint either. im not living in a fantasy land. i know what im up against for being with my man. but i love him and love endures all things and as long as i can remain strong for my man im going to do it. thats all there is to it.

Excuse me but I dont think your comment is proper here. You are entitled to your opinion but I dont think what you said is called for. You probably dont understand it because you are not in it! Sure they may have made a really horrible mistake that put them on death row but anyone can be forgiven. Dont judge anyone unless you are ready to be judged. I am sure you got some skeletons in your closet also. Leave these ladies alone! I dont think there is a rule book for love that says you can only love a certain type of person. Everyone deserves love!!! :blah:babieboo....YOU GO GIRL!!!!! :thumbsup: LET EM KNOW HOW IT IS!!!!

how many of these guys made actual mistakes or knew what they were doing???? how is it a mistake to kill someone??I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING HERE, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE ARE SOME VERY INNOCENT PEOPLE ON DEATH RW AS WELL. YOU LOG ONTO PTO, DONT YOU HAVE A LOVED ONE IN JAIL???? IS HE OR SHE INNOCENT??? YOU STILL LOVE THAT PERSON REGARDLESS RIGHT? WELL THATS HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OUR LOVED ONE. DEATH ROW OR NOT. AND THE INMATE YOU LOVE IS NO BETTER THAN THE ONES WE LOVE EVEN IF HE OR SHE IS NOT ON THE ROW. SO I THINK THAT YOU WERE WRONG TO MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT!

babieboo....YOU GO GIRL!!!!! :thumbsup: LET EM KNOW HOW IT IS!!!!


LOL!! I didnt mean to get crunk in here. I just dont like it when people say things like that. We should always be mindful of other peoples feelings and try to be understanding. Also I am very protective of my friends.

you are all correct i am sorry for how i came across again i did not mean to offend anyone.

Well it didnt sound like you were asking from a curious point of view..you came off pretty critical. You have to understand how hard it is. I have a pen pal on death row and he is the nicest person I have met in my life...very caring. You have to know someone's story before you make judgements. Its easy to make assumptions when you just look at the surface. If you really want to know why dont you ask someone on death row. Get a penpal. Maybe that will help you understand.I AGREE WITH BABIEBOO AGAIN HERE. YOULL NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY COME AROUND TO LOVE SOMEONE IN THE SITUATION AT HAND. I NEVER THOUGHT ID EVEN BE IN THE POSITION TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE IN PRISON PERIOD, LET ALONE DEATH ROW UNTIL MY FIANCE' CAME ALONG. IN LOVING HIM I AM LOVING HIM REGARDLESS OF HIS SITUATION AND THATS WHY IM HERE AND WILL REMAIN HERE AS LONG AS GOD ALLOWS ME. SO I AGREE, WHY DONT YOU GET A PEN PAL FROM DEATH ROW AND GET TO KNOW HIM AS A PERSON. IF YOU MEET THE RIGHT ONE YOULL FIND YOURSELF LOVING THE PERSON FOR WHO HE OR SHE IS AND YOU WONT EVEN DWELL ON THE FACT THAT HES ON DEATH ROW. SO DONT KNOCK US TILL YOU TRY IT. WERE ONLY HUMAN AND WERE JUST LOVING WHO WE LOVE, THATS ALL.....

Again I apologize for going off topic from your thread girl :)

You must admit some people on these post make there loved ones sound like saints that were wrongly convicted. *laughs* IF you do a search in the forums...you will see some examples of men who have spent forever on death row...only to be freed when their innocence was finally proven. Have you ever thought about that...what it would be like to sit on death row for 12 years for something you never did...?

Not all of us think our man is innocent....not all of our men are innocent...some of our men are innocent...it doesn't really matter. Some of us can look past it...and accept them for all that they are...the person they are inside...the good and the bad.

There are two sides to a relationship....obviously when I chose to love a man on death row it was because it was a two way street. I get a lot of wonderful things in return or I wouldn't be with him. It's not about being desperate...heck don't ya think it would be a lot easier to fall in love with someone in the "free" world....

Someone made a suggestion that you write to someone on deathrow...I think that is a great idea...

It definately didn't sound like you were doing research to me !!! Where are the questions? The initial comment you made was a judgement and you were bias, your opinion was woven tightly in the words you used.

ok i dont have anyone on deathrow but i wanted to make a comment... I think that your men/women are blessed to have you guys standing at their side.. I want to commend you all on what you are doing...

I have three penpals on Death Row. All of them are intelligent, interesting people. I don't really care what they did; I know what they did earned them their spot on the Row. However, judging someone for who they love is not the way to be. I wasn't offended by ranger1 too much, all I think is that before you say something, you should watch how or who may read it. I know I'm blunt, but I commend you ladies for loving your DR man. There is nothing wrong with love, it's got to be hard, but you ladies are strong for your love and your commitment.

Ranger , begin your paper with the fact that far too many men and women are unjustly sent to death row. Infact, many are actually innocent,as in the case of a Texas prisoner released this week and many others freed in the not so distant past. Then, let your readers consider that while they threaten my best friend with execution, Charlie Manson will live out the entirety of his life reading the daily mail that never ceases to flood in to him. We aren't even fighting the wrong state, just did not get as lucky as Charlie. The rules changed,again. Which by the way, consider too that the Ring case not long ago gave credence to the fact that my friend and many others had without doubt been unjustly sentenced , but then the court reversed on that opinion under Summerlin finding that if you were past the first stage of appeal it did not matter that you were denied justice. Oh yes, this is what the men we care for deal with in thier lives. For us to recognize that many of these guys are nomore monsters than a million others who are incarcerated does not make us insane, contrary to popular belief. Infact, if you do your homework you will learn that most of us who write the DP inmates have at least some formal education, many have degrees in varying fields.We fully recognize the implications of of the crimes these guys are supposed to have committed.We also recognize honesty, compassion, trust and remarkable dignity. Yes, assure your readers all these positive traits and more exist on the rows across the country. For those who do not believe these men can repent ask them if they think in 15 years of noone to talk to, but the walls and God, if they might come to know God just a little. No, these are not choir boys and yet, which of us can say they will not make it to heaven before us. I gaurentee that, for the moment the lives most of these guys lead are more on the straight and narrow than most are living in this society and my God finds no man beyond redemption. I am not professing my love, nor ready to be married, but I do have a friendship that allows me to share things I have never shared with another living soul before.There is a growing trust and understanding between us that can not replaced, as these guys have an insight into people and life that others can not share. These are men who have been completely humbled before man and those who are not broken by the system possess unbelievable compassion and strength. My friend can literally read between the lines of my letters and sense things those closest to me here can not see at all.These men are not monsters, we find honesty , warmth, understanding, encouragement, and so much more in the horrid pits they house these people. We find the men the rest of our society turns a blind eye to. And wait to the moment that you realize someone will go so far as allowing you every last detail of thier life out of respect for the bond that is being nurtured between you, even details that might have easily remained hidden from you , until the end. If, you read my other posts you will get an idea where you need to look to put together a paper that will leave the pro side of this issue as barren, as they truly are. You will also understand that the better part of myself once belonged to men, who have been a part of the system. Above all, they taught me that respect is not given but earned. The things that will earn that respect the quickest in prison is being straightforward and true in all you say and do. Maybe the world would not want to believe it , but most of us who write a condemned man find unbelievable truth and come to respect the man for the spirit within him not judge the crime for which he is accused. My best friend has a descent shot at retrial, not only will I be at his side in court, but should my dream come true, we have a date to watch the stars somewhere in the mountains. Maybe he is not a choir boy, but like I have told him, "I ain't scared"..............

well said...

Babieboo and RegisSweetness, you rock girlsl!! :thumbsup: I agree with ya'll 100%! My husband is on the row and he does not deserve to be there and yes there ARE people on d/r who don't deserve it and are innocent...

well i don't have a man on death row he doing federal life so no parole and it's hard on us period i think death row women are strong women and we should be here to support one another not down one because who they love did you ever hear about the four young men that was freed from death row because they were found not guilty it does happen 60% of the men in prison are found not guilty later remember that

RANGER 1. YOU SAY YOU ARE WRITING A PAPER FOR THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT?
SO SHALL I ASSUME THAT YOU ARE A JOURNALIST?? BEING A JOURNALIST MYSELF, ONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU WOULD KNOW HOW TO RESEARCH A SPECIFIC TOPIC OF INTEREST. EX: NEWSPAPERS, ARTICLES, STATISTICS, ETC. IM SURE THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT IS NOT CONCERNED ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR WOMEN TO LOVE THEIR MEN ON DEATH ROW? IF YOU ARE TRYING TO PRESENT AN ARGUMENT, WOULDNT YOU ATTEMPT TO PRESENT IT WITH STATISTICS AND FACT? VIA - CREDIBLE SOURCES? I AM ONLY CURIOUS, BECAUSE I JUST MYSELF DID A PIECE ON CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND INSULTING AND MAKING SNEAR REMARKS WERE NOT A PART OF MY RESEARCH. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR PAPER WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED. ACTUALLY, IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO PROOF IT, I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY. AND IF YOU NEED ANY SOURCES FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I WOULD BE MY GREAT PLEASURE TO ASSIST YOU.