Just wanted to say that I got a good break when the warden let me have a special 2 day visit with my baby. It will take place next weekend. I get to see him for 4 hours each day too.. I am really looking forward to it. I sent the warden a thank you letter for being so understanding..

It is a surprise and I know that it is going to give anthony a little faith in the prison.. Not too much but enough to help keep him out of trouble...

So much thanks to warden stacks at East Ham :)

I think that most of the officials at prisons are really decent people. They have a job to do as well as anyone else. Some can get cocky though.

I'm glad that the warden let you have your time. The warden at Billy's prison is very understanding as well. She's really nice and understanding. We talk to her sometimes when she comes in the visiting room. She always has a smile on her face.

Congratulations!

Monica Danielle

yeah, that's nice to know. and I know she'll appreciate your thank you letter. Might help her to make positive decisions in your case or anybody else's case later on

I have to becareful the warden is a man and do not want the wrong impression left... So I am very nice but from a distance most of the time..

The warden where Melissa is gave us some extra time after our wedding ceremony, let us have a cake and some sodas, let Melissa keep her wedding ring. We even asked a couple of the officers to have cake with us and they did. I made sure to write a thank you card to both the warden and the chaplain...and we've never been turned down when we've asked for a special visit in the middle of the week when my job takes me through the area and we've always been allowed 4 hours on each day of the weekend when I've been there for regular visiting hours. One of the things I've always made it a point to do is write a card to the warden after each visit thanking her for the opportunity for Melissa and I to have that time and I try to say something nice about 1 or 2 of the officers. Don't know if this helps any, but it certainly can't hurt, either. Anything I can do to make Melissa's life easier inside or our visits any more ejoyable I'm going to do. Have a great visit Shortie...going to see my baby this weekend, too!

tell melissa hi for me and let her know that she is not alone. I have been locked up and she is really lucky to have you stick by her side. That is so special to me and it shows me that men can wait too.. That is so great.. Thanks for the resurance and for sharing with me..

SHORTIE:

I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND ANTHONY.... I BET YOU ARE BURSTING AT THE SEAMS...... I HOPE ALL IS WONDERFUL.

JFREEMEN: IT'S ABOUT TIME WE ARE HEARING FROM THE GUYS... I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE AND YOU NEED TO VENT TOO. IT MAKES A GREAT DIFFERENCE WHEN YOU VOICE YOUR OPINIONS BECAUSE, AS YOU KNOW, WOMEN ARE MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL THAN MEN ARE.... WE GET OVERLY EXCITED ABOUT THINGS AND WE NEED MEN TO HELP CALM US DOWN... THAT IS WHY THE WOMAN/MAN THING HAS BEEN SO SUCCESSFUL OVER THE THOUSANDS OF YEARS....

POST A LOT SO WE CAN GET A FEEL FOR WHAT WE ARE DOING GOOD AND BAD.

DONNA

Thanks donna you are right I am excited it will be in 3 days I am so looking forward to it and I know that he is too...

Shortie & Budwoman - I've been telling her about everyone here and how understanding and nice you all are. I'm really the lucky one in all of this. Melissa makes my life very settled, very full. She's looking forward to the day she can come home and be a part of this community for real. In the meantime, she says HI to everyone. We're looking forward to a great time this weekend. Budwoman, in a way I guess maybe I have been kind of a stabilizing factor for Melissa. In her very young life she's never had anyone, family or otherwise, she could depend on...and she's grown so much over the time we've been together. It's been a treat for me to see her blossom, open up, begin to set goals and achieve them. See the mark of success on her face watch her grow confident. Ok, maybe I'm not the most objective person to be saying this:>), but giving her the freedom in our relationship to talk openly and honestly, to pursue her interests, has brought us closer and closer. For me it has so far been a very sobering and humbling experience...and joyful...to watch this very sweet but hurt girl go from not smiling, negative, slumped shoulders and turn into a vibrant, young, inquisitive, smiling, happy, mature, loving and caring woman. It doesn't mean we don't both have our "down" days...we do...but as we talk on our phone calls and in our letters and during our visits we're able to slip into "our world" and the smile comes to her lips, the sparkle to her eyes. the excitement in her voice and words... and I simply melt!:>) You ladies aren't the only ones who are emotional!:>) It's incredibly hard to leave her there when visitng is over...my heart aches and my eyes are moist as I walk out through the gate. Many's the time I've driven the 11 hours home eyes "leaking" all the way, all the while my heart beating with joy that I held her in my arms, kissed her lips, felt the gentle touch of her fingers. We linger together to the very last second of our calls and as for me, I've read everyone of her letters time and time again till I can almost recite them from memory. We laugh together, we cry together, we trade jokes and we talk of the mundane things of everyday life like grocery shopping, the budget, rolling toilet paper, the crap that goes on at work, class assignments, high prices of cigarettes, here and there, and cold showers!:>) We even watch the same TV shows together, but apart. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my wife fiercely with a single minded devotion to see her successful, happy, content and satisfied in her future. Sorry, I ddin't mean to go on so long. It's been 6 weeks since I've felt her little body pressed up close to me and it's obvious we need this weekend!:>) No, no conjugal visits!:>), but nothing in my life has ever been so intimate as the time we have during our visits. Even in the midst of 50 or 60 other ladies and their families/friends and all the noise. Hehe...last trip my mom went with me and met Melissa for the first time...(couldn't get a word in edgewise, they're like 2 peas in a pod!!)...remind me to tell you that story sometime. Guess what I'm trying to say is it doesn't matter, any relationship takes work, devotion, committment on both sides and it doesn't matter who's "inside", we all do the same time together. Thank you all for listening...

thank you so much for sharing your story with me, funny antony and I do some of the very same things and here I am crying about it.. I am so glad to know that you have stuck by her side and truly love her the way she deserves to be loved.. it takes a special man to do what you are doing and in my eyes that makes you a hero.. I am so proud to know that you have such a special bond with your wife and you are greatful for every moment with her..

Anthony and I love to just talk about laying around and just playing with the kids, watchin a movie, or playing in the rain. It is all going to happen and I think this experience is strenghting our bond and our love.. again thanks for sharing...

oh Shortie, now you're going to get me to having "leaky" eyes all night!:>) I'm just an ordinary guy who has been blessed to find an extraordinary woman that would accept him as he is. Believe it or not I probably have faults!:>) For both Melissa and I this time of courtship/mariage (or whatever you want to call it) has been for the good (even though it's been hard). It's given us the space and time to learn how to be "real" with each other, without the physical, uh, hmmm...how do I put this?...distraction?...so that we can come to know each other's heart. We've gotten to the point where she finishes my sentences for me. And that's probably good, cause I'm usually at a loss for words when I'm with her!:>) Anyways...you have a really great weekend, ok? I'm sure Anthony is looking forward to his time with you as much as I am looking forward to my time with Melissa. Thank you so much for your patience for these long posts. See you all next week!

JAY:

i'M GOING TO CALL YOU JAY FOR SHORT..... YOUR STORY IS A BLESSING TO US ALL. IT REALLY DOES MAKE US REALIZE THAT THERE ARE VERY SPECIAL MEN AND WOMEN IN THIS WORLD. HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER.

THANKS JAY, FOR POSTING WITH US.


DONNA

PS: SHORTIE----I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU ALL WEEKEND...HAVE A WONDERFUL VISIT

FREEMAN
YOUR REALATIONSHIP IS SO SIMILAR TO MINE AND ANTHONY'S I TOO FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE THE OPPERTUNITY TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. IT HAS MADE US SO STRONG AND I AM GLAD THAT I FOUND SUCH A SPECIAL MAN, HE IS SO AMAZING AND THE PART THAT IS EVEN BETTER IS THAT WE ARE SO IN LOVE. WE ARE REALLY GOOD AT OPENING UP TO ONE ANOTHER AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I CHERISH.. WE OFTEN WRITE ABOUT THE SAME THINGS IN OUT LETTERS AND THEY CROSS IN THE MAIL IT IS SO NEAT TO KNOW THAT WE ARE SO IN SYNC WITH ONE ANOTHER.

I TO AGREE THIS HAS BEEN HARD BUT WE ARE MAKING THE BEST OF IT AND GROWING WITH ONE ANOTHER. SOMETIMES WE JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER AND I CAN SEE RIGHT INTO HIS SOUL, AND I AM RIGHT THERE INSIDE OF HIM AS HE IS IN ME. HE IS TRULY MY SOULMATE AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ME JUST AS I AM AND VICE VERSA..

FREEMAN-SOUNDS LIKE YOU AND MELISSA ARE BOTH LUCKY TO HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER! IT IS INSPIRING TO HEAR STORIES LIKE YOURS . YOU TOO SHORTIE. CONFIRMS HOW BLESSED WE CAN BE EVEN IN THE MIDST OF A BAD SITUATION. I MEAN, WHAT GREATER THING COULD THERE BE THAN FINDING REAL LOVE?

SHERRI

that is so true.. i am so looking forward to this visit and being able to spend time with him this weekend.. he is my soul mate..

ok ant never made it back to his unit he was in a transfer unit so i called the wardent there on friday and he approved my visits.. It was so nice. They told anthony he must be really special because tranfers never get contact visits yet we did and it was for both days.. I really had a good visit.. Everyone was so helpful and nice to me.. It was so nice to encounter that

OK HERE WE GO OUR VISIT WAS SO GREAT. I GOT TO SPEND 8 HOURS WITH MY HUSBAND IN A MATTER OF 2 DAYS. THEY BOYS WERE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE HIM. SO WAS I.

WE HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME TALKING AND JUST BEING WITH EACH OTHER. HE WAS GIVING ME A FOOT MASSAGE AND I WAS JUST REALLY MESSING WITH HIM A LOT. LET'S JUST SAY THE FIRST DAY IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING.

OF COURSE WE DID GET SERIOUS TOO. SO IT WAS BENIFICAL ON MAY LEVELS BUT HE TRIPPED A LIL CUZ THIS OFFICER WAS TALKING TO ME WHILE THE BOYS WERE GOING POTTY. THE NEXT DAY HE SAID THERE GOES YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN HE WALKED BY. I JUST LAUGHED AND SAID OH YEAH ME AND THE BOYS ARE GOING OVER TO HIS HOUSE WHEN WE LEAVE HERE..

I HATE HOW INSCURE HE GETS SOMETIMES. DAMN IT IS NONSENCE. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO CUZ HIM TO EVER THINK I AM DOING ANYTHING WRONG. I AM JUST HANGING OUT BEING A GOOD WIFE WAITING FOR HIM TO COME HOME.. I AM NOT SURE WHAT ELSE I CAN DO TO REASSURE HIM SO I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT SUCH A BIG DEAL. IF HE IS TRIPPIN HE IS GOING TO DO IT REGUARDLESS OF WHAT I SAY SO WHY WASTE MY BREATHE. WHEN I AM STILL STANDING THERE AT THE GATE WAITING FOR HIM HE WILL SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS...

OTHER THEN THAT WE HAD A REALLY NICE VISIT. IT WAS NICE I GOT TO KISS HIM LIKE 15 TIMES.. :)

shortie-glad your visit was mostly good-i dont think there is anything you can do to reassure him--guilt, insecurity, and a lot of time for his mind to wander I am certain contribute to his having those kinds of thoughts and making those comments. Ron does the same thing sometimes . I think he feels he has no control over anything and that drives him crazy! I try to put myself in his shoes so i won't get so mad with him for unfounded suspicions or remarks. Like you said, when we are there waiting when the gate opens, there will be no more questions .

thanks sherri this is hard to deal with sometimes. Makes you just question everything you do.. I hate it.. I am down for anthony 100% and that will not change and I am not cheating on my husband either. Like I told him if I wanted to do all that I could have stayed in cali and just played my games up there. I moved to texas to be closer to him and to start our life.. that has not changed.

Shortie - I'm so glad you had a good visit. Yes, there are always the talks that have to happen, and they're not easy, but they have to happen in order to grow. I'm really happy you had the chance to be with him!

thanks how did your visit go with melissa?? Over all our visit was pretty good I did post some pics from it on the site too.. under the visitation forum

Jfreeman, well you have done what I have resently thought about doing, or at least, check out the possibility.

I have been working the prison pen-pals sites online. In fact 4lbb.com is where I got the link to this site.

But, being an Ole Geezer that I am LOL, the ones that I have checked there "rap sheet" (online) are about as long as both arms. That scares the geebies out of me because I don't want to upset my little apple cart here.

I figure that finding one "inside" might be more willing to except my history (a one timer)?? And since I enjoy being around a small/med younger woman (a guy thing) just maybe??

Y'all got any thoughts on that??

see my post about a good warden and a good Chaplain

I wrote that then I sen your post


He is a great Warden and Chaplain Drum is a personal friend of mine.

taking 18 men to the prison last saturday would have caused many wardens to just say no but he said yes.


on a side note I have been to Eastham probably 7 times.

Ask your loved one if he has ever played softball or Arm Wresltled with a group from the free world. That would be me.

I was there at Eastham last saturday at the trustee camp.

Did you see a bunch of guys in the Camp softball field wearing yellow shirts? That was us. How cool

that is really neat. Anthony was at the walls last weekend but he is back at east ham now. Hey he is not at the camp but he is a trustee. He is on the power lifting team and plays softball. He may know you.. He is just an amazing man and sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky.. Maybe I will see you there sometime.. Hey big b got any ideas on how I can get chaplin drum to do a wedding ceromony for anthony and I during our contact visit. We never got to say our vows to one another and I would love to surprise him and beable to say the promises I made to him to his face. He is my lifeline and I just want to show him just how serious I take my wedding vows. Can you hook me up????

We will be back at the Eastham Unit on Sept 20th weekend.
We will be playing softball inside the Unit and at the Camp.
We will also be doing the Saturday night Chapel service.

I look forward to meeting Anthony.


Steve
www.messengerspm,org

thanks I will write him and tell him to go.. It will be really good for him.

Hi, I wanted to share with everyone that in August we went to Cal. Terminal Island and saw mt Loren, we got a special visit they let 13 of us in that included 5 kids the guards were very nice to us all. We traveled along ways from Montana it was a very nice time and it was great to be able to kiss and hug my love but it was better seeing our daughter hugging and kissing her daddy. Tina (missing loren)