I am involved with a man on DR and write to a number of others and I just received a letter from one of them telling me that he loves me and feels that he cannot survive without me by his side. But the fact is that he does not know about my partner and I don't know how to tell him. I've never lead this man on or said anything to indicate that I felt anything more for him than friendship but he has been on the row for a long time and has lost most everyone during his incarceration, including (last year) a woman with whom he had a romantic relationship. I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt him but obviously I cannot let things continue this way. My partner knows about and encourages my correspondence with other DR inmates, but prefers that I do not tell them about my relationship with him. But this has gotten too complicated for me...does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?

I think honesty is the best way to go... :)

Explain to him that you aren't going anywhere (if you intend to remain friends with him)...that you will always be his friend...I'd probably over accentuate the importance of friendship...that girlfriends will come and go but friends are always there.

best wishes :)

IceBlue Sparkle basically has said it all...be honest and upfront with him. it will only make things worse if you don't tell him. he will sense that something is wrong with you if you keep holding this thing back from him. if the friendship that you share with him is strong you two will make it through this and it will only make the both of you stronger in the end...
my thoughts are with you....
lea

Yangarra
First off welcome to PTO :)

You said your partner encourages you to write, and doesnt want you to tell any of them about your relationship. Perhaps that you can just tell your friend, that you are involved with a person, but not really get into it, just that you have a "partner" but you would like to keep writing as you really do care. That way, you arent mentioning the name of your partner, and you are keeping him seperate. Also I agree with what Iceblue said, that you will be a friend always.

be honest. that way you'll be freeing yourself from whats on your mind and it will avoid you from leading the other guy on. it may hurt the guy for awhile, but itll hurt worse if he finds out you havent been real with him....

I Always Make Sure To Mention I Have A Man , (( He Dont Want Me Talkin Bout Him )) But I Make Sure They Know I Have A Man ,

At This Point , All U Can Do Is Tell The Truth , And Be Real ,, Not Mentioning Aa Man , But Talkin About Feelings Can Make A Person Think U Are Open To A Possibility , My Intro Letters Tsresses , I Have A Man , That Has No Problem With My Writing , But He Doesnt Share My Views On The Death Penalty (( He Has Changed That At This Point By The Things I Have Shown Him )) Keep Ya Head Up , And Be Real Ma, Stress The Friendship !!