Ok, I need everyone's help here to educate Ken about what life in Canada is going to be like. So, you need to add things to this list of what is UNIQUELY Canadian.

1) You have to learn to say "EH" a lot, at the end of sentences. It signifies "Now it is your turn to talk. If we DON'T say "eh" that means we might have one more point to make, so wait a second until you hear it, eh?

2) We cook on a STOVE, not a RANGE. That's where we put the deer and the buffalo to play.

3) ELASTICS hold your pony tail, not rubber bands. A "rubber band" for us, probably includes Carole Pope, or some other woman clad in leather, and carrying a whip!

4) METRIC dear. It's all kilograms, kilometers, litres etc. A furlong, for us is a unit of time, as in "I won't be gone fur long, eh."

5) Whisky is RYE whiskey. Bourbon is bourbon. Southern Comfort is Southern Comfort. And Scotch whisky is Scotch! But a person from Scotland is a SCOT, they are NOT Scotch. But we do have scotch tape, which has nothing to do with either Scotland or alcohol.

6) The alphabet ends with ZED, not ZEE!

7) DO NOT EVER put your tongue on anything metal, like a gate or fence, in mid-winter. It freexes there, and you have to wait for some kind soul to fetch hot water to defrost the bond! (We all learn this when we are about 4 years old, especially if we have big brothers!)

8) The traditional dance is "The Canadian Stomp!. It is done each and every time you enter a building in winter. First you stamp one foot two times, then the other. The you kick the toe of your boot just down at the bottom of the wall, beside the door, then kick the other toe on the wall. This ensures you don't track snow into people's houses, the bank etc....

9) Every town, no matter how small, has something in February called "The Winter Carnival". It's supposedly an excuse to go out and play in the snow and ice. But it's TRUE purpose is to prove that a 2 year old Canadian baby has more endurance and fortitude than an American Marine!

10) MOOSE ARE BIG! In Northern Ontario and Northern Quebec, there are actual road signs that mean "This is a place where moose like to cross." For some reason, moose like to cross highways, just at dusk. And you can hit a moose at 80 k's, and your car will be totalled, but the moose walks away, very bored!

11) Learn to spell words like "honour" "colour" "valour".

12) A Lieutenant is a LOOtenant, not a Left-tenant.

13) The following are PAID holidays for all employees. New Years. Good Friday. Easter Sunday. Victoria Day (3rd Monday in May). Canada Day (July 1). Simcoe Day (1st Mon in Aug). Labour Day. Thanksgiving (3rd Monday in October). Christmas Day. Boxing Day (Dec. 26). If any employee works on those days, you get paid "time and a half".

14) Three levels of police forces. The local/municipal force of whatever town you are in. The Provincial Force. (In Ontario, they're called the "O.P.P") and then the nation-wide R.C.M.P. We also have a wimpy "spy" agency called C.S.I.S, kinda like your CIA.

15) We have NO ESKIMOS! This is very insulting to them. They are called Innuit, and they are a totally different race of people, from the Natives. Amongst our Native tribes, we have in Ontario, mostly Ojibway, Cree, Algonkin, and Mohawks. They are nations as different from each other as a Swede from a German.

As far as time goes my Mom would say hap-past 4:00 instead of 4:30 "Eh" and if she was saying look at that lady in blue , She'd say now thats a study in blue eh! I don't know if you say these things or not Menolly?

What about ....Ice Fishing? We are not trying to catch ice cubes, and we are not out of our friggin minds for being out on the middle of a lake using a giant corkscrew to drill a hole. It is actually a super time!!
I am not sure if you are near any good fishing lakes or not, but we do alot of ice fishing in Minn and have done alot of ice fishing on the Minn-Can border
CJ

Here's a good one- get to LOVE your Detroit neighbors. Oh wait, what part of Canada are you guys in? LOL! Maybe I am not your neighbor, but what the heck, grow to love us anyways! :)

a LOONY (sp?) is a type of money, not just your new neighbor!

Hey, what was that about the American Marine?

We have ways to make you say the letter O!
(it's from a movie)

Menolly, please don't forget the difference between beer and draft...it's happily forgotten down here, but it's SO important!

*Poor, confused southern girl stands in the corner.*

Valerie! Speaking of "blue", you should hear us laughing our heads off on the phone as I try to teach him to say things in French! "Bleue" and Roast beef "au jus", and "champignons". He's getting pretty good actually! Funny, he has no trouble at all with "Je t'aimes"!

As for time, I remember movingto the U.S. and being totally flummoxed with that "A quarter OF" thing? What????

All My Love,
Menolly

Kmeg: I live 500 feet from Lake Ontario, but it doesn't freeze over in winter! Besides the fish are probably contaminated with pollutants. Can't wait to see this California guy in a canoe, or better yet, ON SNOESHOES!

CJ,I have an ice cube joke, for you. (This came up, trying to educate Ken about Newfie Jokes.)

Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Newfoundland?
A: The lady who knew how to make them lost the recipe.

I also know some good "Saskatchewan Jokes" but some of them, I can't post on here! (One inovlved a tattoo, that Ken laughed his butt off about!)hehehehehe...

All My Love,
Menolly

Menolly,Thats so funny,he'll catch on.So how are things going? When is he moving??

16: There are no "hoagies", or "heroes" in Canada. Up here we call them "submarine sandwiches", probably to celebrate the fact that our Military has submarines so old and useless, they're only good for shark food! BUT, to us, a hero is a magnificent human being, whom we admire and try to emulate!

17) We have the longest skating rink in the world, in Ottawa. It is about 20 miles long, and in summer we call it the "Rideau Canal".

18) Up here "Elvis" can't sing. But he skates so well, he has earned us numerous Olympic Medals etc. And his last name is "Stoyko" not "Presley".

19) A "bluekneeser" is one of those idiots who goes jogging in 40 below, February weather, wearing SHORTS! We leave them alone, 'cus that's cheaper than housing them in a psycho unit.

20) A popular New Year's Day Tradition, is the "Polar Bear Swim". Numerous people actually run into ice-filled lakes and SWIM for a minute or two, then come out teeth-chattering and blue, and PROUD of themselves. Go figure!

Jeni: We're near Toronto. Oh yes, that brings up another point.

21) It is NOT pronounced To-ron-to. Native Torontonians say something that sounds like "Taronna".

22) The "Rule of 30" can save your life. It is this. In 30 below weather, with a 30 mile an hour wind, skin is permanently damaged by frostbite in 30 seconds!

23) The "Wind Chill Factor" is a meteorlogical mathematical formula, that multiplies the thermometer reading with the wind velocity. So the weather man will say "It's 23 below today, with a wind chill of minus 40." All that means is "Ignore the thermometer, baby, and bundle up, 'cus it's friggin COLDER than you think today!"

Emme: That's right, I forgot to explain our money!

24) A LOONIE is a $1 coin, because it has a picture of a loon (the water bird) on the back of it. A TOONIE is a two dollar coin, called thus, simply because it rhymes with "loonie".

25) A $5 bill is BLUE. A $10 bill is purple. A $20 bill is green. The $50 and $100 bills are MINE, so don't you worry your pretty little head about them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

All My Love,
Menolly

P.S: Ken? NEVER call your wife a "loony"!

Jen:

Ummm... about the American Marines? Well, we're a pacifist nation, and that "Fine American Marine" named Ken Connor, made the fatal mistake of tangling with this "Pacifist Canadian". So he's gonna get NO RESPECT up here for being a Marine!

BUT, up here, people will love him and respect him, only if he is good to ME! And the Marine Corps can't teach a man how to do that!

All My Love,
Menolly

Soul Sliver:

Don't worry. Ken's pretty good at educating himself about beer! He's already switched to Molson's! Ooh, but I didn't tell him that cases of beer up here come with PRIZES in them. Molson's a while back included T-Shirts that said "I AM CANADIAN". I'll have to find Ken one of those t-shirts. They were SO COOL!

Oh and Bella already told him about "The Beer Store", and I told him about "The L.C.B.O." (Liquor Control Board of Ontario). So it won't be a shock to him that these are the ONLY outlets where you can buy beer and booze!

All My Love,
Menolly

Danielle:

Maybe you can come visit us, once he is moved up here. It will all become clearer then!

All My Love,
Menolly

Val,

We don't know when he is moving. It is SUCH a COMPLICATED process. We figure it'll take at least THREE more years for him to get citizenship. But we are looking into Temporary Resident Permits and such, for in the meantime!

I am eventually going to post the process for ex-inmates trying to emmigrate to Canada... They certainly DO NOT make it easy!

In fact, this "funny" post, is actually a defiant refusal to get discouraged and depressed about the paperwork process!

(But, if you're interested, my son and I are going down to California for a few weeks, in about 4 or 5 weeks, or maybe even sooner. Not a bad mid-winter honeymoon, eh?)

All My Love,
Menolly

Menolly, Geez, I'm sorry it's such a mess getting him there.I hope the temporary resident works out. Thats great about coming to California.You'll get a chance to un-thaw. Are you going to see PTO people when your here, or is Ken keeping you all to himself?I just can't wait to hear about your first in person meeting. Love Valerie

Is Ken gonna keep me all to himself? Well, it's gonna be a time to meet his kids, his sister, and them to meet my son etc. So there's gonna be a lot of people around!

But, I don't know if any PTO folks will be there.

Our first "in-person" meeting. Boy do we keep laughing about it. Since we're ummm...older... (He's 48, I'm 47) we have certain health problems creeping up on us, that we are worried will affect our first meeting. For example, he has HIGH blood pressure, and I have extremely LOW blood pressure. Both can be affected by stress, even joyful stress, so we keep envisioning meeting in an airport or something, and both FAINTING, and being sent off to different hospitals in "His and Hers" ambulances! Good thing my son will be there, to take care of us decrepit old folks! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Actually, Ken and I pretty well walk around with cellphones stapled to the sides of our heads. We talk about 5 to 10 hours a day as it is, plus the emails and such, so we already are so much a part of each others day, I don't think actually meeting is going to change much.

You guys would shake your heads at the weird stuff we do. For example, when we read newspapers, we cut out articles and mail them to each other so we can discuss the politics etc. So, since I can't even read my morning paper without the guy looking over your shoulder... well, I think he's "a keeper", don't you?

All My Love,
Menolly

lolololol...about the his/her's ambulances and your poor son will have to work feverishly to recussitate the two of you...JUST KIDDING...god forbid!
I bet you'll both be fine and it'll do BOTH your blood pressures a world of good:)

I think your both " Keepers"

...and I couldn't shake my head at the things that you two do...cutting out articles and such:)-don't you know Mennolly that's what we're all doing too:)lol
Who was it who sent the paer hat? was that you emme? and the autumn leaves?...was that emme or soul?lol

Hey Menolly how about the lottery and how it is played there it is different there than most places right? But it sounds like things are moving right along for you and Ken. I am so happy for you both.

Best Regards,

Cherrie

Gina, we aren't kidding! You know how I keep writing...

>S
>W
>O
>O
>N
>!!!

Well, I REALLY do faint rather easily, and have had to tell Ken things like "If you're there first, make sure there's a chair handy, and a glass of water, and a cool cloth, and if I say "Ken, I have to sit down" I'M NOT KIDDING. CATCH ME, because I'm gonna hit the floor!" He promises he will catch me, and sit me down gently.

BUT THEN, he starts telling me I might have to thump him on the chest and say "Breathe Goddammit".

Oh My God, it sounds hilarious when we see it in writing, but we are BOTH absolutely serious! And my son is fully prepared for either or both scenarios!

Hmmm, wouldn't it be hilarious if our very first PHOTOS on PTO was of two people out cold on an aiport floor, with Paramedics hovering over them!

OH MY GOD, here I go again...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

All My Love,
Menolly

VAL:

Since it's "just us girls" talking here, can I just take a moment to say:

"I AM SO TRULY, MADLY AND DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY, I'VE BECOME A TOTAL IDIOT!"

My son said to me the other night "Mom, do you realize that after walking around as a morose widow for three years, now suddenly you sit beside the phone like a giddy schoolgirl, waiting for this guy to call?" When the phone rings I actually squeel "EEK! THERE HE IS!" before I pick it up. Now, how sappy is THAT!!!

But I won't embarass Ken (any further than I already have) by telling you guys the foolish things he is doing!

We are TRULY befuddled, and loving every minute of it!

All My Love,
Menolly

HAHAHAHAHAHA...I'm laguhing at loud here at my desk...everyone is wondering what's wrong with me!lol
I can tell you are serious, but it is so funny to picture. I think those would be great first meeting photos! In fact if neither of you do faint(hopefully not...) I say you stage those sort of photos at the airport anyway:)


I'm so excited to hear the reports of our first meeting now...

Menolly, Since it's just us girls, I won't tell a soul.Oh, and I understand about the fainting thing as I do it myself. Does Ken take meds for high bp.?How long are you going to be in Calif.?Maybe you might want to move here!!!! I think it would be easier????I just can't wait to hear about this trip!!!!!

Menolly, what about the candanian lottery. Don't they play it different there? Best of luck to you both it sounds like things are moving right along there. Hopefully no ambulances will be needed. I wish i could just be a mice for a minute to see the greeting I am sure it will be truly awesome. I posted this before so if it comes up twice it is only because I didn't see it when I went to look for it so sorry.....

Love you both,

Cherrie from tx

lol...menolly and ken are sending newspaper articles and discussing important world events and i am sending lee paper hats that they won't even give to him!

xo
em

lolololol

Val,

Of course he does. He has to. But, give me 6 months! I'm gonna have his health so whipped into shape, I'll probably have him running the Boston Marathon!

Probably looking at 2 or 3 weeks in California, and DREADING having to get on a plane to comeback home!

There's good reasons why he is moving here, but if immigration takes too long, I may have to temporarily live in the U.S. But we both agree that would not be permanent. Everything is up in the air right now, and still in preliminary stages.

We are so bogged down with "business" details; wills, life insurance beneficiaries, gazillion of things!

All My Love
Menolly

Cherrie:

We talked about the lotteries two nights ago. Believe it or not, I know MORE about gambling on the Hai Alai and dogtracks in Miami, than I do about buying Canadian Lottery Tickets.

Moving right along, yeah, it's going beautifully. If you believe in that reincarnation stuff, it is like we have known each other for 1000 years, and IT HAS BEEN THUS since the day we met! It used to spook us, but now we just accept it!

Do you know that we decided to get married, even before we exhanged photos? He never even so much as asked me what colour my eyes were, UNTIL AFTER we decided to spend the rest of our lives together? I know that sounds crazy to you guys, but we were THAT SURE!

All My Love,
Menolly

Emme,

You should HEAR how much talking we do, and on what topics!

We just jump from politics, to religion, to philosophy, to exchanging recipes, to anecdotes about raising our kids, to legal issues, to the merits of the writer Hunter S. Thompson, and DEMERITS of Ernest Hemingway, (whom neither of us can stand!). How about the ethno-anthropoligist Joseph Cambell's theories of the universality of the need for religious expression... We spent a good half hour on that, just last night!

We can't shut up! And the long distance phone bills? Hell, it'll be cheaper to live together than to pay for these phone calls!

All My Love,
Menolly

Menolly,

Hunter S Thompson is a wonderful man, him, ginsberg, ahhh...the beatnik generation...what I'd give for a copy of Naked Lunch right now.

Alas, the reason I am here is to say...

DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE CALIFORNIA WITHOUT MEETING WITH ME SOMEWHERE!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!

If you want info, PM me :)

Soul!

Cool, we should start a Thompson Fan Club!

As for people meeting us, we'll try, but we are going to be MEGA-BUSY with legal details and such. But we might need a bridesmaid...hehehehehe...

All My Love,
Menolly

So kewl Menolly to hear how things are really going with you and Ken. I couldn't be happier for you both truly. I love the way you talk to each other with such admiration, and respect, and not to mentioned the love I hear when you share about him Menolly it is truly awesome. I look forward to seeing pics and all onced it is all put together. Yes I do believe in reincarnation as a matter fact my mother was reincarnated to my dog not to make a joke but it true my dog had the same temperant and everything so I do understand that. And I was also glad to know you knew about the Candian Lottery somewhat the only reason I brought it up is my father won the candian lottery in 1983 and his share $15,000. not to bad i would say.

God Bless both of you!

Love

Cherrie

Ken,
OK I know that you got some info, from me in a PM but here's some more:
French fries Poutain (sp?) They are delicious and they sell it everywhere. Even in KFC. It's french fries with melted mozzarella cheese and brown gray...YUMMY
Don't forget about a double double coffee not a milk and sugar.
Toronto has a ton of squeegy kids, the ones that wash your windshield with dirty water. IGNORE THEM, if you give one $ they will surround your car,LOL
Newfies....LMAO
our housemates had a cat named Newfie. NEwifes...well your joke explained it eh?
(that's another example of how the term eh? is used)
There is a place called Moosejaw Saskatchewan...Reallly. Rent the movie slap shot...you'll see.
I have to ask him some more stuff and I'll post more.
Menolly, Thank soooo my=uch for the loonie explaination, WE thought it names after the looney toons (j/k)

oooooooooooooh....I LOVE this thread! Menolly, you really had me laughing so loud when you stated this:

7) DO NOT EVER put your tongue on anything metal, like a gate or fence, in mid-winter. It freexes there, and you have to wait for some kind soul to fetch hot water to defrost the bond! (We all learn this when we are about 4 years old, especially if we have big brothers!)

This happened to me...but I was 7 , and of course I had the required 2 brothers:rolleyes: . It was at church, none the less! They dared me to stick my tongue to the stop sign pole, in the dead of winter! Well I wasn't going to let my older brother's get the best of me. I licked it...and I was STUCK!

I was crying and they were laughing...My mom went and brought warm water to put on the pole. Grrrrrrr older brothers! We little sisters could sure do without them!!!

But they did get it from my dad when we got home...Then I was the one smiling!!:D

You and Ken are just the cutest couple and I wish you ALL the Happiness in the World!!

xoxo

Pammie

Menolly - and Ken of course since this is your manual...!

Menolly has left a few things out but I am sure that she would have thought of them sooner or later...

I don't know what number Menolly left off on so I will just start at...

100) $50.00 bill is red - $100.00 bill is brownish - $1,000.00 bill is PURPLE (The greatest colour in the world)

101) Not really for Ken... MENOLLY - you know Carole Pope!!!??? She once tipped my $250.00 and I won't say for what! "Oh, Johnny" is one of my favourite songs...

102) Another word spelling (used above) 'favourite" not favorite...

103) We say 'niche' 'nee-che' not 'nitch'

104) We don't have 'gutters' on the roof of the house we have eves troughs... Gutters are on the sides of the streets.

105) Windsor Ontario is actually SOUTH of Detroit Michigan.

106) We are north of the perma frost line and snow is a reality year round! (only kidding...)

107) After a cold, cold winter and as soon as the temperature hits a balmy 10C you will see everyone (or at least high school kids) wearing shorts!!! That is about 50F

108) You will have to learn to say the words "out" and "about" differently. I don't know how to coach you on this one because I NEVER hear the difference but apparently we say Oot and Aboot! It is all aboot the O's

109) Menolly misled you on the "eh" thingy... I don't ever use the word so not all of us do! LOL You are free to make that decision and you will actually get noticed for NOT using it! LOL

110) Doughnut shops are a reality here that you cannot ignore... They are EVERYWHERE! Timmy's (Tim Hortons) is the one of choice for most... There coffee is the best! (A little tip here... Menolly drinks the EXTRA large size coffee...It is HUGE!)

111) We are not all nice and polite - much to our dismay! (I don't know where that came from but I have heard that generalization before...)

112) Don't get scared by our gas prices - or better yet don't get excited when you see a sign that says 67 cents! That is for a litre and there are 4.54 litres in a gallon so that translates to $3.04 per gallon... Canadian of course so that is a little less in USD...

113) Don't think that you have arrived to a highway system that is a speedway... the speed signs are in kph not mph so 100 posted on the highway is about 60mph.

114) Now please all the Americans on the site don't get offended by this.... When you say thank you to a store clerk or anyone here you will usually get a "Your Welcome" in return... Not "Uh huh". Canadians that are not accustomed to this American response actually think it slightly rude... Canadians that have spent time in different areas of the US where this is a standard response understand it and accept it... Just a cultural difference in response...

115) Torona (Toronto) is a melting pot of cultural diversity and you will find every ethnic background represented in shopping and restaurants! It is amazing if you are into stuff and food from around the world! A lot of the cultural groups have there sections of the city - China Town, Little Italy, Greek Town... etc... and you will even find the street signs in English and the specific language in that area...

All in all Ken, we are not that much different... I have American cousins, many many friends in the US and of course the love of my life is there too! I have always been proud to be a neighbour (another Canadian spelling) of the USA and will be proud to have you come join us in Canada!

"105) Windsor Ontario is actually SOUTH of Detroit Michigan."
Holy s*it! That's true isn't it? Wow, how wierd is that? I mean, really, how wierd is that? LOL
I am sitting over here amazed right now.
That is so wierd! LOL

Teb...I love Timmy's coffee...that's where I learned to say double double, LMAO
After reading your post I've thought of a few more...
116) If you smoke and use matches it is custom to ask the store clerk if they sell matches. Rather than just asking can I have a book of matches. Most stores will give you them, but it is considered rude to expect them

117)Smokes come in packs of 25. They also sell what they call a small pack and Idon't remember but I think they have either 20 or 15 in them. The pack looked like a fancy box to me the first time I saw it. It slides out to open. They do not have American cigs. They have their own so
Marlboro = Players etc. You can get American (US) cigs in some stores in Downtown Toronto but you kninda have to know where and they don't advertise they sell them.

118) American v. US
Canadians get kinda insulted (rightfully so) when we say things like I did in the above post American cigs. American dollars, etc. Canada is America too. So refer to it is US dollars.

119) You can use US dollars in fast food chains. This freaked me out. We were at Burger King and I said I hope we have enough Canadian cash, I have US $" The clerk said no prob. you can pay in Us dollars. Hit a button on the register and it converted the amount. We even paid in US and got change in Canadian. Now, I'm sure the exchange rate sucked. Then of course after we left he reached in his pocket and pulled out a ton of change. We probably had like $20 in loonies and toonies (that takes some getting used to)

120) I'll explain the about, out and to add another, sorry. This was something I had a lot of fun with while we were there ;)
When someone (of course a friend,lol) would say it's about 3 o'clock or something like that I would say... no it's ABOUT 3 o'clock. A Boat floats on water. Get it? a boat. Now for out , I can say it but I think Teb's spelling is the best way to put it. oout or maybe ouut. Just drag the o. Same for sorry it sounds more like soory.

121) We lived in Little Italy (College Street...right near Spadina). It's just like any big city, good restaurants etc. Chinatown, Little Italy...only the areas are smaller.

122) Toronto has an awesome public transportation system. They have street cars, subways, buses etc. It's the easiest place to get around, even with out a car.

123) the bathroom is the washroom. The dressing room in a store is the....oh shoot I forgot again, I thing the try-on room. And I think the register is the checkout, I mean checkoout (lol)

124)There are street signs on residential blocks that look just like our signs for fall out shelter. The yellow diamond sign with black letters....only these say No Hockey Playing.

125) IF you're a sports fan, you MUST see the skydome. I have been to quite a few stadiums and this is by far the nicest. the roof opens and it takes hours....it's very cool. The fans there stink...sorry guys but you're all way to quite at a pro game. US Yanks make noise. GO YANKEES!

126)You will have a chequing account not a checking account. Am I right Canuks?

I love this post too! It's bringing back some great memories!
I have to print this out for him!

yep, Jeni, the US actualy has 2 (COUNT THEM 2) countries that lie immeditately SOUTH of the border!

on the 30 rule, you also must add that this is the temperature where all men are created equal (and we here in the US thought that Geroge Washington thought that up when crossing the Potomac! hehehehehe)

Menolly, make sure that he watches plenty of Second City, and the MacKenzie film - STRANGE BREW - that way he can REALLY get to know how you Canucks talk!


JUST KIDDING!!!!!!

I just hope for your sake that his heritage is not Franco and that he decides once he is a Canadian citizen to go fight for Les Quebecois!

Good luck with his Canadianization!

I also just thought of something that if you can get your hands on it - there is a band called the Arrogant Worms - get him thier Albums. there is a song on one of them that will familiarize him with places, towns, beaches, etc in New Foundland! hope you know which one i am talking about!

Bella - great additions!

Yep - checks are not checks here but 'cheques' and how many times have I been in the US and asked in a restaurant where the washroom is and they look at me with a blank stare and then say - 'do you mean the restroom?"

Great example of 'about' being 'a boat' - thanks! I will use that one now! 'Out' is a more difficult one however but apparently we pronounce it the same as 'a boat' lol

Yes, you can use US dollars just about anywhere here but the exchange rate will suck in most places unless it is in the heart of tourist ville! Even in tourist ville stores and restaurants will pay at least 10% less than the bank and they just make money on that when they deposit the money!

Ahhhh.... College and Spadina! You lived in Little Italy and I lived in China Town - west is Italy and east is China Town! I was just east of this intersection! Small world!

Teb, When were you living there? Did I miss you walking past me on the street? Imagine? I miss it so much! Actually loved living in that neighbourhood ;). But we had a very small basement apt. so we moved and rented a whole house on Boone Street. It St. Clair 2 blocks east of Dufferin. That's like second little Italy, lol. What can I say his is a true Italian :).

Cherrie:

(First off, I have to say, HOLY TOLEDO. NO ONE EVER scrolls way, way down to the "Canada Forum". I am impressed with all these responses!)

So, back to Cherrie:

If only you could HEAR how we talk to each other. I honestly can only think of TWO men I have EVER met, who have spoken to me with all the respect that Ken speaks to me with!

As for your reincarnation story, I do understand that. I have a cat, who after my husband died started doing all sorts of things hubby used to do, thingsthat were BIZARRE for a cat to do! For example hubby loved to comb my hair. Since I have very long hair, the only way I can brush it is to bend forward, and brush it towards the floor. Didn't the danged cat start coming into the bathroom EVERY morning, to sit on his haunches and comb his front claws through my hair! It was so strange, that this started the DAY AFTER Gerard died!

All My Love,
Menolly

Bella,

Now that you have explained "Poutine", we hafta talk of "Beaver Tails" (although this is mostly an "Ottawa Area" thing). Beaver tails are SHAPED like beaver tails, but they are actually kind of like a donut, about 10 inches long, and you pour maplesyrup on them and walk through the streets (usually at Winter Carvnival time) eating them. Actually I NEVER eat them, since they are so cloyingly sweet!

Yikes, I fogot about the squeegie kids! It's like getting swarmed by street urchins, in a Third World country!

Oh, I'll have to rent Ken the movie "Men With Brooms!" It's about the coach of a defunct Curling Team (a sport with 45 lb stones you slide down an ice rink, and it is NOT shuffleboard on ice!) Anyway this coach dies, and in his will he says his ashes are to be encased in a curling stone, and the team must get back together and win a bonspiel (tournament) for the pride of the town. But the 4 teammembers are now a drifter who lost his lady love, a man with a low sperm count trying to get his wife pregnant, an undertaker, and a cocaine debt enforcer, with a 350 OTHER enforcer after his butt!

Oh and placenames, we've already discussed. Bella, I grew up in the Temiskamingue/Temagami area! Just try to say THAT!

Another Saskatchewan joke.

Harold and Edith come up from the States, and of course, get lost in the endless fields of the Prairies. Edith keeps urging him "We're lost. Let's ask a gas attendant for directions." Being a man, Harold keeps saying "We're not lost. We just took a run turn." So Edith, being an intrepid woman like every other, says "Harold, I REALLY have to go PEE!" So, Harold, being like every other man, stops at a gas station. The gas attendant leans down to answer their questions, and answers "You are in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan". Harold rolls up his window in fright, and says "Edith, we REALLY ARE LOST! They don't even speak English up here!"

All My Love,
Menolly

Pamela,

Isn't the greatest indignation, from the fact that when you try to TALK with your tongue stuck to a pole it comes out like "MNFFFT FFT'N MNFPHT!!!"

Ah big brothers, I have some stories to tell there also...


All My Love,
Menolly

P.S: KEN, Pamela says we're "THE CUTEST COUPLE!" Honey, just how many couples do you think were in her survey? Do you think we are statistically valid?

teb I love your 100-115!
...i think i learned a lot from this whole thread though:)
lol

JEEZ TEB!!!

I knew I could count on you to help!!!

100) SHHHHHH! TEB! I said the 50's and 100's were mine! I wasn't even gonna let on that we had $1,000's! *TSK* You had to ruin the surprise!

101) OHHHHHHH YEAH, I knew Carole!!! I can't claim to be the Original Yonge S.F.H. and NOT know Ms. Pope. Is she still singing? Still wearing leather? Carrying her err, umm, ... "accoutrements"? Boy, she was some character, wasn't she?

106) KEN! He's pulling your leg about the permafrost line! It is actually a little north of us, sweetie!

107) True, about the second the weather warms up even SLIGHTLY, everyone pulls out tank tops and shorts. You can always tell the Americans in the crowd. They're the ones shaking their heads and saying "What's WRONG with these people? Don't they know it's FREEZING up here?"

108) Oh yeah, those "oo's". I remember meeting a guy from Chicago, and peeing my pants for months about how he said "roof". He rhymed it with "woof! We say it to rhyme with "Goof"! Also, I told him to get off the highway, because he "might get run over by a car". He stood there astounded, going "Run over? Run over? In America we get HIT!" Oh and there the pronunciation of "Route..."

109) Eh?

Here's a prime example of how "eh?" is used as a synonym for "Pardon? Run that by me again?"

111 and 114) TEB, you're point 114 renders 111 redundant. Sorry, sweetie!

115) Teb, he's looking for a good Thai restaurant! Any recommendations? Wanna join us, eh?

All My love,
Menolly

Jeni:

Notes to self:

BUY KEN AN ATLAS! Also ROAD MAPS for his car! Pick up a second set for Jeni. HAHAHAHAHAHA

All My Love,
Menolly

Bella:

116) It's a PACK of matches, not a BOOK of matches, and yeah, you do have to ask for them. Some placeswill actually charge you a few pennies for them!

117) Yup, the cigs up here slide out of the cardboard case, like a little drawer. Also they all have APPALLING photographs of lung cancer, and brain autopsies and heart attacks on them, with warnings that say "This'll happen to you if you smoke!" Also, you cna't smoke in a bar up here. So at 1 a.m. in February you walk by a bar, and see drunks huddled together with businessmen, trying to keep warm for the five minutes it takes before they go back inside to finish their C.C. and coke. (C.C. is Canadian Club - rye whisky).

Oh, Bella,

I also lived at College and Spadina! Went to the U. of T for a few years! Teb and I also hung around the same bars on Yonge Street for a few years, yet when we met, we'd never seen each other before! And to date, we haven't found a single mutual friend. (Well, not including Carole Pope above, but she seems to be more of a ...ummm... friend to TEB than to me.

TEB, what about CRAIG RUSSELL???? Did you know h...never mind! Oh and HONEY! Have i got some Toller Cranston stories to tellya, from The Quest, and St. Charles! HAHAHAHAHA

123) The dressing room is the CHANGE ROOM!

124) Yup, there are some interesting road and street signs up here. They only contain pictures, so that both French and English people can "read" them. But Americans are truly perplexed at times! Wait'll you see the sign that "says" WATCH FOR FALLING ROCKS! (It's ancient, eroded Pre-Cambrian Shield up here! And some of the highways have been dynamited THROUGH cliffs and hills. So HUGE BOULDERS sometimes fall off the tops of cliffs above the highway, and land on the car roof! And you're sitting inside, what is in essence, and ECHO CHAMBER! But if you recognized the falling rock sign a few miles back, you don't have a heart attack... (See my point about moose crossings, also!)

125) Bella, I can't wait to take Ken to a chamber music concert. One of my all time FAVOURITE passtimes!!! You wanna talk polite, quiet Canadians? You should go to one of those events!

126) Oh Ken. FORGET trying to pay for ANYTHING with either a $100 bill, or a cheque! No store will accept either of them! It's cash or credit card, or debit card only! The only thing cheques are good for, is to MAIL payments for the electricity bill etc.

Bella, Say "Bonjour, eh?" to your guy for us!

All My Love,
Menolly

Jak, you're NEVER gonna believe me, but many, many years ago, I used to WRITE COMEDY for Second City, (when it was just a comedy troupe, in "The Old Fire Hall" before they ever got on T.V.) People thought our humour was brilliant. What they didn't realize was we all just got drunk together, and wrote everything we said on paper napkins, then tried to figure out what the heck we'd been talking about the next day.

Wanna hear the REAL DIRT on John Belushi's death? Ah, never mind... But, Ken, I can tell you waht an ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART Gilda Radner was!

Menolly,

THAI??? You want Thai food!?!?!? Only about my favourite food!!!

Yep, I can direct you to the most amazing Pad Thai in the city of Toronto! Any restaruant associated with the "Young Thailand" chain is respectable and good to go to!

I will tell ya what... I am actually a pretty good chef and I love to cook foods from other cultures. I make a pretty amazing Pad Thai myself! I will make it for you and Ken as a celebration dinner when he gets to Canada! Just have to tell me how hot you want it! Firery or mild???

Teddy was going to get Pad Thai at the next food visit but because of the latest pillow-gate episode and the write up he is ineligible now for the next food visit! That sucks!

Eh Jak.

"Ere's a mad as 'ell French Canadjian eh? Maudit tabarnacle! You got som'ting against us, eh? Eh bien, alors. I meet you on the 'ockey rink, and we shoot a leetle puck, eh? 'Ow's your slapshot, Jak, eh?"

De crazy, leetle French chick,
Menolly

WHO THE HECK WAS THAT?

Anyway, Jak, there's a group here I'm DYING to introduce Ken to, called "The Swinish Multitude". They combine Celtic with rock, and some really off the wall lyrics! I also know a full-blooded Mohawk (Native) who records old Irish music! I know so many musicians and artists and such!

Menolly

TEB!

So cool. Good Thai food was one of the thing s he said he will really miss, when he moves up here. And (I'm embarassed to admit) I've NEVER EATEN Thai food! So you'll have to check with him about spicy... bearing in mind, MY tender little tummy!

Teb, honestly, isn't this gonna be a WONDERFUL thing, when we get him up here?

All My Love,
Menolly (The Original...)

hold on hold on...'roof' 'woof' and 'goof' all sound the SAME to me...the same as 'aloof'!

aahh!

OK, a couple of others. *What the heck number are we at, anyway?*

150) Our nation's capital DOES NOT HAVE an airport that flys international flights. You have to fly into Toronto, then do a 40 minute milk run flight into Ottawa!

151) Ottawa also DOES NOT have a zoo! But they have the house of commons, instead. Just as good. Also they have a Hot Air Balloon Festival every summer. This is totally unconnected to politics, but we sometimes wonder...

152) An MP is NOT military police. It is your "Member of Parliament", and your MPP is your member of PROVINCIAL Parliament. We have 3 levels of everything, up here! Municipal, Provincial (Eg, Ontario) and Federal (Canada as a whole).

For a FEDERAL law to be passed in Canada, requires 3 READINGS and approvals by the House of Commons. Then 3 readings and approvals by the Senate. Then final approval by a quaint anachronism called the Govenor General, (who supposedly represnts the Queen of Englad! Yeah, right!)

The House of Commons has the Party in power (presently, the Liberals, with Jean Chretien as leader.) And an Opposition Party , PLUS sundry other parties, like the "Bloc Quebecois" etc. If you vote here, it is NOT simply a "Democarat vs. Republican" vote. It can be a choice between 10 or 12 parties. Oh, my God, I jsut remebered! Someone has to educate you about the "Rhinocerous Party!" I KID YOU NOT! TEB, help explain this, please!

153) The Prison System, also is a 3 level system. The municipal jails usually hold short term prisoners, and people doing things like 30 days for unpaid parking tickets and such. Provincial JAILS hold everyone sentenced to anything less than TWO YEARS. And the FEDERAL PENITENTIARIES hold anyone sentenced to MORE THAN TWO YEARS. Every person in criminal court in Canada waits breathlessly for a judge to proclaim "Two years LASS A DAY" because that means they are going to jail, not penitentiary!

Also lawyers CANNOT argue your case on a contingency fee (If I lose, you owe me nothing.) You have to pay all lawyers UP FRONT before they'll even answer your phone calls!

Oh, And Ken, if you ever truly need to know the info in this point, I'm SERIOUSLY gonna KICK YOU ASS!

154) We have TWO national anthems; one English, one French, and both get sung simultaneously at hockey games and such. They also changed the words to the English version about 20 years ago, so some sing the OLD, some sing the new. It's quite a cacophony!

they sing two songs SIMULTANEOUSLY? YIKES!

Emme; You missed the point!

Some people are singing the FRENCH version.

Some are singing the FORMER ENGLISH version.

Some are singing the NEW ENGLISH version.

Then you have us ranbunctious Aboriginals, who instead of singing "Our Home AND Native Land" are all yelling at the top of our lungs

"YOUR HOME IS NATIVE LAND!!!!!"

Yup, it does get interesting!

All My Love,
Menolly

Jeez, Emme!

Roof and goof and aloof sound like the "o's" in MOON.

Woof sounds like WOOL.

By the way, we think George Bush rhymes terrorist with TOURIST.

Up here it has THREE SYLLABLES. TEAR- ROAR- RIST! And we don'ttreat Tourists like terrorists at our airports!

All My Love,
Menolly

Ok, Menolly, I will make you a special "mild" version of Pad Thai before Ken gets here and I will make separate Pad Thai for each of you if Ken wants to burn the roof of his mouth!

Ken, I hope you are learning all about us crazy Canadians because I have to admit that I am learning new things too! I won't say what so as not to embarrass myself!

But I will say this that it has been reported many times that the 'test' that NEW CANADIANS take when applying for citizenship - most birth Canadians would fail!!! Imagine!

hey menolly -

lOVE the ideosyncrit language! and i would LOVE to hear more about Gilda! i always thought she was wonderful - never liker belushi - sorry folks!

Thai food = not fond of pad thai = but LOVE, absolutely LOVE TOM GA KAI (not sure of the spelling - it is the chicken coconut soup that they serve! WONEDERFUL!!!!_)

Quick Teb! What's the Capital of Nunavut?

Ken, 10 Provinces and three Territories, and their Captial Cities. (God, I hope I remember this as I type!!!)

PROVINCES:

NEWFOUNDLAND - St. John's (That's "apostrophe s". Do not confuse it with St. John - NO "apostrophe s" that is Not a capital city in New Brunswick!)

NOVA SCOTIA - Halifax

NEW BRUNSWICK - Fredericton (Another tricky spelling - no "k")

PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND - Charlottetown

QUEBEC - Quebec City (NOT Montreal!)

ONTARIO - Toronto (NOT OTTAWA! That is our NATIONAL capital, Like Washington D.C. for you guys.)

MANITOBA - Winnipeg

SASKATCHEWAN - Regina

ALBERTA - Edmonton (NOT Calgary!)

BRITISH COLUMBIA - Victoria ( NOT Vancouver!)

TERRITORIES:

YUKON TERRITORY - Whitehorse

NORTHWEST TERRITORY - Yellowknife

NUNAVUT - Iqaluit (This is an Innuit name, pronounced EE- KALO- WIT.)

The Innuit language is called UNUKTITUT.

And TEB, just to rub it in, the Premier of Nunavut is Paul Okalik!

All My Love,
Teb's fellow Canucktituck,
Menolly

P.S: Can you imagine if Toe came in here and tried to educate Ken? Goodness knows what he'd fill his head with!!!

My favourite Gilda story!!!!

I don't know if you guys knew, but she had major "food issues" (bulemic etc.) We often all got worried for her.

One time, she was particularly depressed and crying, so I gave her a "reassuring" hug. And she got so angry and said to me "Oh, you don't have a CLUE about how to hug a despondent person!"

I couldn't beleive there was a DIFFERENT way to do that, from regular hugs. So I asked her, to tell me how.

And she said,

"It's simple. If someone is upset, you NEVER be the first to let go. You hang on forever if necessary. And when THEY let go, it means you've filled up their soul enough!"

TEB, tell these people about my hugs? Better yet, tell Ken Connor! All those hugs??? They are gifts from Gilda!

(Oh Gildy Girl, I STILL miss you!)
Menolly

For those of you who don't know, Gilda Radner went on to fame at Saturday Night Live, and died in the arms of her husband Gene Wilder, on May 20, 1989, of Ovarian Cancer.

Gene, being the Magnificent Warrior that he is, started a string of cancer support centres in Gildy's name. They are called "Gilda's Club", and the do fantastic support work!

I LOVED Gilda very much!

160) The National sport in Canada is NOT hockey! It is actually a Native game called LACROSSE!

161) WOMEN were only considered legally PERSONS after a huge lawcase in 1931, which is still referred to as "The Person's Case". Interestingly, MY OWN FAMILY lost a huge inheritance, also in a law case, that went all the way to the Star Chamber in London, England. They then decided NATIVE women were not legally people, thus could not have inheritances bequethed to them.

162) My two favourite Canadian Criminal laws:

A) Canadian Criminal Code, section 444 : Injuring or endangering cattle... Cow tipping (knockingthem over when they are asleep, standing up) an indictable offence that carries a term of up to FIVE YEARS!

B) Canadian Criminal Code 250. (2) Operating a vessel towing a person on waterskis, surfboard, water sled or other water objects later than one hour after sunset...

I loved Gilda Radner, Roseanna Roseanna Danna!

ok, I asked him and he said....
B-E-E-R

You'd better show him the difference between Canadian Tire money and the real thing ;)

OMG, I FORGOT the Canadian Tire Curse! I'll explain, Ken!!! Once you allow one stupid piece of CT$ into the house, you've got them until the day you die! It's a system... to avoid.

Love,
Menolly

A few more differences:

Americans like to be mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

Canadians get rather indignant when mistaken for Americans ANYWHERE!
~~~
Amer believe that people should look out for, and take care of themselves.

Cdns believe that's the role of the government.
~~~
Amer are flag-waving, bunting-hanging, hand-on-heart anthem-singing, obsessed patriots.

Cdns can't even agree on the words of the national anthem, nor can they be bothered to sing any of the 4 versions.
~~~
Amer spend most of their life glued to the idiot box.

Cdns don't, either because there's too much American content on TV, or not enough.
~~~
Amer jabber on and on about football, baseball and basketball.

Cdns jabber on and on about hockey, hockey and hockey.
~~~
Amer drink weak, pissy beer.

Cdns drink strong, pissy beer.
~~~

Amer think poverty and failure are morally suspect.

Cdns think wealth and success are morally suspect.

This is ESPECIALLY for you, my dear Marine!

On May 30, 1996, Pat Carney (a federal politician) rose in the Senate, and read the following actual exchange between the Canadian and American Navy!

American Ship to Cdns: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision.

Cdns to Amer: Recommend YOU divert your course 15 degrees.

Amer: This is the Captain of a U. S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Cdn: No, sir, I say again. Divert YOUR course.

Amer: This is an aircraft carrier of the U.S. Navy. We are a very large warship. Divert your course now!

Cdn: This is a Canadian lighthouse. Your call, sir.

Menolly!!!!!

I cannot believe that you don't like Canadian Tire money! My goodness, I used to collect that until I had 50 bucks and then go and buy for free!

Do you know that there are pieces of Canadian Tire money that are collectable and worth a lot of money??? Real money???

Ack and alas, Teb, I find Cdn Tire money SOOOO ANNOYING. I just fling it at my son, and say "Take this!" They're like a virus you can't get rid of!

Maybe I'll let it pollute the glove compartment of Ken's car.

Menolly

ROFLOL...

Menolly, this is MONEY! It is MONEY! You can fling it in my direction anytime that you want to!

Only problem is that since I fell in love with this guy that is 2,952 km's away it costs me so darn much to visit that I don't have money to spend anywhere anymore - for ANYTHING!!! So I don't get to the Crappy Tire store much anymore...

Oh, yeah - Ken - it is better and more affectionalely known as "Crappy Tire"!!! Eh???

Have you introduced him to the wonders of poutine? :yuck:
You don't want him to be surprised by that one.

This is just amazzzzzing. I just finished posting about 100 differant things in the new hepatitas forum, & I was in need of some light hearted faire so I came here, & I realize what a lucky man I am. To have such a wonderful woman as Menolly to love, & loving me back, & to have all you as my friends. This really is special.

Before I go any further, sorry Menolly, but Teb you say you can cook a great Phat Thai? How long is your guy locked up? LOL, J/K honey. Phat (Pad) Thai is my favorite dish of all time, along with a good Lassagne, or a juicy steak (Porterhouse).

Canada does sound like it's going to be a trip. The only thing is Menolly is comming to LA before I go to Canada. She is going to need an LA survival guide, LOL. I figure a day at Venice Beach, & then an evening on Hollywood blvd., she will think civilazation has come to an end & aliens have kidnapped her & taken her to some strange planet, LOL.

Everyone who participated in this, I want to thank you all so much. -------------Ken

Wow, did we forget Poutine???

Yes Ken, my Pad Thai is pretty awesome if I do say so... I will make it special for you on your first night in Canada! (Shhh, don't tell Menolly that we have a date your first day here!)

It's o.k. Teb. I can always cook a Phat Newfie!
~~~~~~~~~
Oh and Ken, how do you feel about raspberry/kiwi cheescake, drizzled with red current sauce?

I make it ONCE A YEAR, in Mid-July, when the raspberries are in season.

It takes 4 lbs of cheese and THREE DAYS TO MAKE!

Teb, I have NABBED some great looking men, with that cheesecake. Want the recipe?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Menolly

Teb, maybe we should QUIT THIS!!! Kenny's gonna get REALLY OBESE if we start competing to feed him!

Sorry everyone, but a great cheese cake beats everything except for one thing.

Darling, great joke re our Navy, LOL.

Honey, your going to have to make it for me while your down here, I know I can find raspberrys, & Kiwis.-------Ken

Oh Great! Already you're expecting THREE DAYS IN THE KITCHEN? Are you sure about that? Am I?

I'd rather be at the Beach! Or Chaplin Studios. Or that artist/craftsmen community we spoke of. Or... Or...

In reality, I'll probably be ON YOUR COMPUTER checking up on PTO!


Oh and, the Navy thing isn't a joke! It's a true story!

All My Love,
Menolly

True story yea right, and a loonie is canadian money, You really expect me to believe all this. I think it's a Canadian conspiracy. I never did trust them. Late at night in Montana by the border you can hear them sharpening their ice skates getting ready to invade. I know all about you guys. ----Ken

Menolly,

My mom was born in Canada (New Castle, New Brunswick) and moved to the US when she was about 9 (around 1927). I remember having to re-learn (when I got in elementary school) all the words she taught me that were from her Canadian homeland. She is 84 now and still says those certain words differently. I always thought it was the peculiar mix of my grandparents Lebanese background mixed with the French they spoke.

This is a wonderful thread. It has brought back many memories of me listening to my mom and her sisters talking about their childhood in Canada. ~~Thanks~~

If Ken can part with you for a few hours maybe we could have a PTO get together when you are down here? I am only about 45 minutes away from Anaheim. It looks like so many people would love to welcome you to California.

Kim

See baby,

I've been trying to getogether with everyone for a year, * no luck, but the minute they know your going to be here, everyones beating the door down, LOL. I guess we know whos liked & whos the black sheep around here, LMAO>

Menolly,

Don't need that recipe to 'bag' a man - already have one! But I may need it to keep him once he is out!

I will tell you what... You give me the cheesecake recipe and I will teach you how to make Pad Thai!

Hi,
Well I have to laugh at the tongue on metal thing only because I have learned that lesson twice in my life. Most recently while standing at a bus stop in -30 temps. My hands were frozen cold and I couldnt quite grasp my coat zipper to pull it up that extra inch to cover my neck. So being the brainiac that I can be some times I stuck my tongue out and managed to pull it upwards so I could get my fingers under it. Well of course the bus came right then and my tongue was stuck to my zipper. Talk about feeling like an idiot getting on that bus.
Also a little known fact in America is that Canada is geographically larger than the U.S. of A.

Ah but my darling Kenny, what do you know about us Canadian WOMEN?

We invade HEARTS, my dear, fine American Marine! And we conquor that way!!! Besides, most Canadian women know how to speak French! ALL MEN are rendered absolutely helpless, when we speak French!

Je t'aime, mon amour!
Menolly

Kimla:

Lebanese and French is not at all a peculiar mix! Lebanon was ruled by France for many decades, and their government was all done in French. My son's father is French and Lebanese! Add in my Native "looks" and imagine the tall, dark and handsome kid I have!

New Brunswick? Was that Acadian French? Or French Canadian? These two dialects are VERY different from each other.

For example, a "nurse", in Acadian is an "infirmière" (the one who works in the infirmary). But French Canadians call her a "garde-malades" (keeper of those who are sick).

Oh, Ken, you have sooo much to learn, my dearest!

All My Love,
Menolly

It's not me, Ken! It is US!

And it is almost spring, not to mention Valentine's Day. People's thoughts are turning to LOVE!

And tag... you and I are IT!

You aren't a black sheep. YOU, no WE are a symbol of HOPE!

Bet you never thought you'd become an INSPIRATION to the world, eh, Ken? Well, at least this little PTO world of 2,000 people!

Besides, after all my months of protestations of how I have no need for a man in my life, they're all DYING to know just what it was about YOU that won me over!

SHHHH!!! Let's not tell!!! Better to smile beautifically and enigmatically, and keep them all guessing, Ken!

I said SMILE, SWEETIE... not GLOAT! *MWAH*

All My Love,
Menolly

Ah Tebby; Exchanging recipes to help each other keep our man...

See? That's one reason you're such a good friend!

I can't just GIVE you the cheesecake recipe. I have to SHOW you all the little tricks... And it's a 3 day adventure! My son is just deleriously salivating by about the second day, and quite psychotic by the third! But it's o.k. The first slab of cake on a plate, instantly cures him!

All My Love,
Menolly

Witchlin;

Since I have lived in your town before, I KNOW the stories of the cold, and them snowbanks!

But when we were kids, what delight we had building whole warrens of tunnels through all the snowbanks in town. Our parent's could NEVER find us, because by spring we had dug MILES of tunnels, and only us kids knew the routes between them!

So, your refresher course in tongue-on-metal. Do you think you passed the exam? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

All My Love,
Menolly

Proper spelling of Canada: C eh, N eh, D eh

I don't care what the bloody map says! This IS the proper spelling! <EG>

Just one more...

On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."

Sorry Ken I just couldn't resist!

A Canadian Limerick, for my fine Irishman!

A boy in Sault Ste. Marie,
Complained "Spelling's all Greek to me!
"Til they learn to spell 'Soo'
"Without any 'u',
Or an 'a', or an 'l', or a 't'.

Oh and Ken, you'll know you are FINALLY a true Canadian, when:

-You can get a Hallowe'en costume over a snowsuit.
-You have more miles on your snowblower, than on your car.
-You have FAVOURITE recipes for moosemeat!
-You think driving is better in winter, because the snow fills in all the potholes, thus it's kinder to your car.
-You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
-Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
-You know you have to clean grease off of the barbeque, so that bears don't prowl around on your deck.
-You use the trunk of the car, for extra freezer space.
-You understand why the town will buy a Zamboni, before they buy a new bus.
-You "get" all the puns and such, in our beer commercials.
-You've peed in your empty beer can, and HELD IT GENTLY, to prevent frostbitten fingers!

All My Love,
Menolly