We have waited almost a year (asked Nov, 03) for the warden to aprove our marrage, at 80 days she asked and was told it had gotten lost in her file. at 150 days she was told "off the record" not to push it. it is 4 weeks to the parole board and now they give her the paper saying that she was approved back on May 6th. She is freaked out about it and says she thinks it is some kind of a setup comming at the last minute like this.
she says she is afraid to marry me now saying it would look like she is marrying some trick at the last minute to get a place to parole. She does not have a place to go since her mother died a few months ago. Also she has a Brain Tumor, found a few months ago, and she is on Elavil a pretty high dosage and Prozac, which seem to be causing bad side effects. I have become a part of her family, and even helped to care for her mother in her dying days, and all her frends and family talk about how much she loves and adores me. I have even had a few Guards thank me for sticking by her. Is it the drugs, is it a master mind con game I have been going through for the last 3 years? Never have I had such a high and a low at this time of highs and lows as the day I was told we could marry and then she said NO. We have been engaged for over 2 years

Maybe it is the drugs and maybe she really is just scared. It sounds like she is going through a lot right now. I would continue to discuss this with her, but don't push her. You never know what she is going through on this inside and what feelings she is holding in. Just be supportive of her decision and show her that you are still there for her. I understand your hurt and pain, but it is out of your control. Hang in there and stay strong. She will realize that she needs to follow her heart and I am sure that leads right back to you! Good luck and keep us updated!

but I know for a fact it will be easier for her to make parole if we were married before the board, that is why it came now after 10 months of waiting the Board takes away a point if you are not married

What does she say when you tell her that this will help her chances of coming home??? Do you think she may be afraid to get released??? Maybe it really is the drugs. HMMMMMM...I am trying really hard to understand your situation so I can give you some better advice.

No I have not told her what is going on I cannot on the Phone and she was too sick last week to see I hope I can see her Saturday so I can make her understand. The information is something I don't want the Prison to know they are tired of my interaction

I really just don't know what to tell you. I think I would try to figure out her exact reason for not wanting to marry you. Don't push her, but explain to her that you are trying to understand. I am sorry you are going through this. Just be patient with her and keep me updated!

hopeless55 are you able to speak with her counselor. Before issuing a marriage license in some states, you have to meet with their counselor, and their record is discussed with you. I am not sure if you have the ability to speak with this person. If she is being given anti-depressants, you may want to wait until they stabilize, and speak with her. Marriage is for a lifetime, and being ready is important. I know that you love her and are ready to take this step with or withour parole. I pray that it works out for you both.

We requested the Marriage last November and it is now 10 months later the outside help pushed the marriage and I talked to her yesterday about it she feels it is a trap and I think that she was told not to. She was drugged dialated pupils and had to throw up after about a 20 minute visit

I honestly think that it is the drugs clouding her judgment..The medicine doesnt seem like its taking a good toll on her mental stability...What is the need for the prozac with the other drug?...Do you notice a change from the when you first asked her to marry you and now??and if so it has to be the drugs...Take your time with her..and I agree with Rywill..speak to her counselor if you can...Good Luck

Pray about it. Most importantly, PRAY FOR HER. Time is a healer ... give it time. Real love is stronger than anything thrown at you ... if it's real love ... this setback doesn't change a thing. What's important is her state of mind; I mean she's incarcerated, lost her mom, ill, and on medication ... that's a lot to bear...

PRAY FOR HER, support her, don't pressure her. You are in my prayers!

He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he:) . Proverbs 16:20