Woman prisoners live in a different kind of Hell, especially when their Men cannot seem to understand that interaction with the warden (noticed I used a lower case w? it was because this warden is a lower case individual!) and staff to demand conditions change, result in reaction for and to the one you love. I have brought more hardship than anything with our requests to be treated with basic Human rights. After 3 years beating my head against the "bars", I have a headache disolusionment and not much else, and her?......... I think sometimes she was better off before she fell in love with me. She had honors and a great record, now every time she turns around or gets the extra duty off, she gets a write-up from Catagory 4 to 6, almost always reduced to 20 hours extra duty, but occasionally a period of time in Segregation, to teach us both a bit of Humillity. THis year she has spent almost 90 days straight in Cell BLock, conveniently staged to coincide with her mothers death from cancer. Her 12 year old son is now floating around family, His father dead, and maybe his mother soon too. Her crime for Cell Block this year, getting sick in a restroom on a College class break, resulted in 3 writeups. in may we found it to be a tumor on the optical nerve causing preasure from the stress. She is up for parole again in october, 3rd time, and the warden has told the "outside help" her in-prson record is too bad to parole. She is a Class D 10 year, and been there 4 years.
I wish I had just kept my big mouth shut, they have not even checked to see if the tumor is malignant or not and it is almost 4 months.
Everyone think long and hard about who you call and where you write, it is best to attack the system from the outside when they cannot hold the one you love hostage.

I just wanted to get this post into the light again We all need to think long and hard about what we try to change for the ones we love, the things I have done has almost killed mine

:nospeak: I so know what you're saying. My friend has been in going on a year now and have read many a post suggesting we not be too much of a s*** starter with them inside. Some here have stated that sometimes our most valiant efforts can backfire and cause more harm than help. And once again we find ourselves in the proverbial Catch 22. Are we not prisoners of a sort as well? :shake:

Yes and the harder we fight the worse it becomes for them. They really have so very little left and it is heart breaking to see them loose their self dignity, and indure the physical and mental assults because you called the wrong person and they are retaliating. We are in prison too, but theirs is in hell.

hopeless, I am so, so sorry for what you're going through. I know that fighting for the ones we love and their rights may get them into more trouble, but in reality, we're the only ones they have fighting for them. You aren't the cause of her problems there - they are. You are only trying to improve the life of the woman you love, and there is nothing at all wrong with that.

Chin up! :)

Thanks Nicks Girl I needed to hear that. Things are worse than ever now since I got the Represenative involved, we even had our own personal CO yesterday during our 1 hour visit (extra duty they just found) A guard from Cell BLock went to the Cafeteria and walked my Girl to visiting, stripped searched her, and stood by the table unitll I sat down, then stayed just in ear shot, watching. She told my girl before I got there to be careful how she touched me, from now on if she rubbed or touched my arm, it would result in a 6-13 sexual write-up and cell block time. She told me she had been shaken down twice this week. The stress was so severe she had to go throw up after about 20 minutes. She told me that she would not make parole since I got another involved again. As I left, she pleaded with me not to leave her if she doesn't make parole.

Its obvious to me you're not going anywhere no matter what happens, but I'm so sorry she's having to go thru all of the harassment just out of spite.

Just be there for her, it sounds like that's what is keeping her going right now. I hate hearing stuff like this, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Unfortunately I had to learn this lesson the hard way also. My husband ended up in handcuffs for our visit a couple weeks longer because I wrote a letter saying that the date had passed on the order for them. Their answer was a new order written with a new date! They moved him 7 hours away before the end of that order. My husband was very understanding about it, but did ask me to not try to "help" him without talking to him about it first! That's when I realised that they are not there to help you have a good visit, they are really trying to discourage you from coming at all. I found this hard to believe untill they proved it to me. It goes against all of the PR they put out about family ties being important to inmates.

I'm sitting here with water in my eyes hopeless. Funny thing about my wife is that she wants me to be a pain to help her with some things. I'll have to keep these things i mind.