After surfing the net for some time I finally found this site. I just needed somewhere to go where people can relate to me. My younger brother is about to face 5-6 years in prison for burglary with a weapon. He is still in county now and hasn't had his sentencing just yet. Just two months ago his exgirlfriend gave birth to his son. So, he has a son he has never seen. I'd like to say I was close to my brother, believe me I tried my hardest but it was hard for my mom and I to watch him live his life. He was into drugs, than started dealing and stealing things. He thought he didn't need anything as long as he had all that money coming in. Fortunately, it caught up with him. I say fortunately because I think if it didn't he would have ended up in a worse case scenario, for instance dead.

I'm finally starting to see the good in him, the brother I have always loved. He knows he did wrong and he is facing all this time and now he can't even watch his son grow up these first few years. I've visited him a couple times now and my mom talks to him almost every day and visits with him. He feels bad and he just wants us to support him and love him while he goes through this. And my mom and I are going to give him that.

He wrote me a letter the other day and it made me cry. Him and I are finally expressing how we have felt all this time. I just pray to god that he can make good of this terrible situation and come out and get a fresh, clean start.

I hear prison can make some people worse and I don't want to see that happen to him. I'm so scared for him. I want him to get out and for us to be a family again. I want for him to be a father to his son. I want for him to make all the right choices for once.

Any advice anybody has would be so helpful. I just feel so hopeless right now.

Thanks!

Hi blueyesdmc

Welcome to the PTO family. :)

I'm glad you found us, you've come to the right place for support and valuable information.

All my best wishes to you and yours.
Philippe :wave:

blueyesdmc,

I just found this site this morning and read your post and floored by how similiar our situations are. My little brother is going to be in court today for his first arrest and then in court next week for his second arrest both are for drug possession, drug possession with intent to sell and a drug manufacturing charge on the first arrest. I don't know how much time he is facing but my father will call me and tell me everything once court is done.

My brother is in a county lock-up right now and begging me and my mom to bail him out. We bailed him out in July but we just don't have $5,000 to bail him out this time. He says how sorry he is and that he knows he didn't take the first arrest serious but he does now because this lock-up is completely different from our local town jail and he's willing to do anything to come home. I am at a complete loss :( . I don't have the money and my mother has vowed not to bail him out because the first time she did he didn't even thank her or come to house to talk to her. Instead he went right back to what he had been doing and got arrested again for the same thing before he even had a chance to go to court for the first arrest.

He called begging me to talk to our mom and convince her to get him out. But he doesn't comprehend that we don't have $5,000 just laying around and the bail bondsmen that posted for him before won't again because there's such a short amount of time between his first arrest and his second arrest (8 weeks).

I think about all the things I must have not done and not explained to him because there had to be something I did wrong for him to believe that selling drugs was an okay alternative to a good paying job. He always wants to be flashy like the guys in the videos. Throwing around money like it's water and driving an Escalade like he's a millionaire. He wants the rewards of a rich life but is not willing to do real hard work to get it. He is so smart and could have had a job that would have allowed him to live that way if he was only willing to work hard and be patient.

Now he has a four-year-old daughter and a 8-week-old daughter that might not see him for 5 to 10 years because he was willing to risk his future and their future with him. Now he's sorry! He couldn't have learned that the first time he was arrested and had a chance for the charges to be put on accelerated rehibilitation, NO!, he had to think it was no big deal and now everything is ruined.

I know this is not the end of his life or our family but damn it feels like it. I'm his big sister and it's my job to protect him and I could even protect him from himself. If he goes to jail, I'll constantly worry about him and never be able to forgive myself or anyone else who didn't help save him.

I'm so angry, worried, scarred and I'm trying to figure out a way to get enough bail money to get him out of county lock-up. The only good thing about this summer was that my second neice was born. If it weren't for that I'd beg for this entire summer to just be wiped away and started over.

I'm sorry this is so long I just wanted to let you know there is someone out there in the exact same place you are and I just wanted to talk to someone who knows how I feel and not here "Don't worry, he's going to be alright!" That's not comforting that's annoying when all I want to hear is someone telling me this nightmare is over and my brother is safe at home.


After surfing the net for some time I finally found this site. I just needed somewhere to go where people can relate to me. My younger brother is about to face 5-6 years in prison for burglary with a weapon. He is still in county now and hasn't had his sentencing just yet. Just two months ago his exgirlfriend gave birth to his son. So, he has a son he has never seen. I'd like to say I was close to my brother, believe me I tried my hardest but it was hard for my mom and I to watch him live his life. He was into drugs, than started dealing and stealing things. He thought he didn't need anything as long as he had all that money coming in. Fortunately, it caught up with him. I say fortunately because I think if it didn't he would have ended up in a worse case scenario, for instance dead.

I'm finally starting to see the good in him, the brother I have always loved. He knows he did wrong and he is facing all this time and now he can't even watch his son grow up these first few years. I've visited him a couple times now and my mom talks to him almost every day and visits with him. He feels bad and he just wants us to support him and love him while he goes through this. And my mom and I are going to give him that.

He wrote me a letter the other day and it made me cry. Him and I are finally expressing how we have felt all this time. I just pray to god that he can make good of this terrible situation and come out and get a fresh, clean start.

I hear prison can make some people worse and I don't want to see that happen to him. I'm so scared for him. I want him to get out and for us to be a family again. I want for him to be a father to his son. I want for him to make all the right choices for once.

Any advice anybody has would be so helpful. I just feel so hopeless right now.

Thanks!

Blueyesdmc & TCI - Sorry this welcome is so late but I only came across your posts now. I am so glad you both found this site - you will be able to find a great deal of information here. You both are doing so much for your brothers by providing support and love. Please keep us posted.

I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply. I just didn't know how to check back or anything. I'm new here, obviously!!

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Yes our situation does sound quite the same. And I worry everyday about my brother. He has been transferred to the reception facility at one of the prisons here and is being classified. We should find out within a couple weeks where he will go from there. We are hoping it is a prison close to our home so it's not so hard to see him. My brother is scared, this I know. But he wants to do better and learn as much as possible while he is in prison so when he gets out he can have a future with his family.

I'd like to say this is easy but it so isn't. My brother and I have finally formed a realationship again. He told me I'm his best friend and the one he will turn to know. I'd like to say its too late but it's not. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. maybe this is what both my brother and your brother needed to get back on track and realize this life they were living wasn't worth it. My brother said he is writing letters to all of his friends telling them to get off drugs because it just screws up your life. He should know!

I just worry that prison will make him worse. You have to be tough in there or else you are going to get picked on. I don't want him to come out a mean person because of the negativity. So, all I can do is support him and remind him how nice of a world we have out here when he gets out.

I write to him daily and the letters mean so much to him. My daughter draws him pictures too so he can hang them up.

My brother wanted us to bail him out too but we couldn't afford it. Unfortunately, they need to realize this is the price they pay for what they have done.

I hope you are doing ok. If you need to talk, you know how to find me! Take care :)



blueyesdmc,

I just found this site this morning and read your post and floored by how similiar our situations are. My little brother is going to be in court today for his first arrest and then in court next week for his second arrest both are for drug possession, drug possession with intent to sell and a drug manufacturing charge on the first arrest. I don't know how much time he is facing but my father will call me and tell me everything once court is done.

My brother is in a county lock-up right now and begging me and my mom to bail him out. We bailed him out in July but we just don't have $5,000 to bail him out this time. He says how sorry he is and that he knows he didn't take the first arrest serious but he does now because this lock-up is completely different from our local town jail and he's willing to do anything to come home. I am at a complete loss :( . I don't have the money and my mother has vowed not to bail him out because the first time she did he didn't even thank her or come to house to talk to her. Instead he went right back to what he had been doing and got arrested again for the same thing before he even had a chance to go to court for the first arrest.

He called begging me to talk to our mom and convince her to get him out. But he doesn't comprehend that we don't have $5,000 just laying around and the bail bondsmen that posted for him before won't again because there's such a short amount of time between his first arrest and his second arrest (8 weeks).

I think about all the things I must have not done and not explained to him because there had to be something I did wrong for him to believe that selling drugs was an okay alternative to a good paying job. He always wants to be flashy like the guys in the videos. Throwing around money like it's water and driving an Escalade like he's a millionaire. He wants the rewards of a rich life but is not willing to do real hard work to get it. He is so smart and could have had a job that would have allowed him to live that way if he was only willing to work hard and be patient.

Now he has a four-year-old daughter and a 8-week-old daughter that might not see him for 5 to 10 years because he was willing to risk his future and their future with him. Now he's sorry! He couldn't have learned that the first time he was arrested and had a chance for the charges to be put on accelerated rehibilitation, NO!, he had to think it was no big deal and now everything is ruined.

I know this is not the end of his life or our family but damn it feels like it. I'm his big sister and it's my job to protect him and I could even protect him from himself. If he goes to jail, I'll constantly worry about him and never be able to forgive myself or anyone else who didn't help save him.

I'm so angry, worried, scarred and I'm trying to figure out a way to get enough bail money to get him out of county lock-up. The only good thing about this summer was that my second neice was born. If it weren't for that I'd beg for this entire summer to just be wiped away and started over.

I'm sorry this is so long I just wanted to let you know there is someone out there in the exact same place you are and I just wanted to talk to someone who knows how I feel and not here "Don't worry, he's going to be alright!" That's not comforting that's annoying when all I want to hear is someone telling me this nightmare is over and my brother is safe at home.

Hi all....am new here and so confused, but I'll get the hang of it. My baby brother is also serving his first (hopefully only). Blueeyesdmc, I totally understand what you meant about it fortunately having caught up with him. My brother has been in trouble over drugs off and on since he was 18, and I'm hoping this (along with the fact that he is going to be a father come this March) will give him a reality check and help him to get himself back on the right track. He is such a great guy and has so much to offer, unfortunately he has never realized this. Anyways, am scared over all the horror stories you hear of prison...he is not a fighter, and tends to be more of a "follow the crowd" kind of guy. I worry about him and what things might happen to him. Reading your posts helps me not to feel so alone though......just wanted to say thanx.

Welcome to the Siblings Forum jassifras! PTO is a great place to come to for support and information. I am sorry to hear how worried you are about your brother and the best advice I can give is just to take one day at a time and come here often. There are lots of members here who are feeling the same way and that really helps knowing you aren't alone. Just ask if you need any help finding your way around.

Welcome to PTO jassifras. You will find a lot of support here.