hi everyone, my name is joann and i live in russellville al. i;m going to meet my pen pal for the first time on sept 17.he is on death roll at holman what can i do and expect on visiting him from the guards and what are there rules about kissing.this is my first time going to a prison of any kind.and also what should i not wear clothes and shoes.i;m so nervouse he is only 25 and i;m 46 and this started out just being pen pal but he says he loves me and i do have feeling for him too.am i crazy because of the age i dont want people thinking i;m his mom .lol or worse.

Hi Joann,

I moved this into its own thread so it will be sure to get some responses. I believe one of our regular members used to visit there - I imagine she will weigh in here with some info when she gets a chance so hang in and be patient (she doesn't always log in every day)...

Welcome again to the Alabama forum!

Lys

Most prisons require the same dress code. You must not wear any tight or revealing clothes. No see-through tops, and no sleeveless tops. No tight jeans, no sandals, or open-toe shoes. skirts must be no more than 2 inches above your knees. A cute tee-shirt, and a nice pair of jeans has always worked well for me. As far as the difference in you ages, I was always told that age is nothing but a number. I am 12 years older than my husband. We have been together for over five years now. At first I had my concerns with me being the older person, but why is it okay if the situation is reversed. Why is it acceptable for the man to be the older one, often times by 10, 15, even 20 years, and no one has anything to say about it. I don't feel like a "cradle robber". My husband was a grown man when I met him, and responsible for his own choices. We are together because we have a lot in common. I can't imagine myself with anyone else, except for him. It's true, I have been asked if I were his mother, and I don't even know why because we don't look anything alike! I don't worry myself with other peoples reaction, or thought concerning our age difference. All I know is that he persued me, and he was persistant, but the heart won't lie to you. I say, if it's love, go for it!

hi everyone, my name is joann and i live in russellville al. i;m going to meet my pen pal for the first time on sept 17.he is on death roll at holman what can i do and expect on visiting him from the guards and what are there rules about kissing.this is my first time going to a prison of any kind.and also what should i not wear clothes and shoes.i;m so nervouse he is only 25 and i;m 46 and this started out just being pen pal but he says he loves me and i do have feeling for him too.am i crazy because of the age i dont want people thinking i;m his mom .lol or worse.

I have never been to Holman, but my husband is at Fountain which is in the same city about a half mile away. I'm sure the rules are pretty standard.
Do not under any circumstance wear white!!!:thumbsup: No mini skirts, tank tops, mid drifts, shorts, nothing sleeveless or see thru. No dresses/skirts that button up
like from top to bottom. if you wear a skirt/dress you MUST wear a slip (they'll check) basically nothing to revealling (you know how bare arms turn people on :confused: ) I hope that helps!! & good luck!!! My husband was supposed to be just a pen pal but we got married 5 months ago!!!!

My husband was supposed to be just a pen pal but we got married 5 months ago!!!!

Just had to smile at this one.........My now husband was supposed to be a pen pal too ~~ and he was. For 23 1/2 years before I met him. And then the relationship progressed quite naturally ("FINALLY" is what HE says,lol!!) and now we've been married over two years. I too am older than my husband by 11 years. It's weird how some times when I am talking about him and thinking about him as it was when I first started writing to him and he was only 18 and I was almost 30, I'll say "I was writing to this kid in prison" :) But now he doesn't seem that much younger.

Anyhow Joann ~~ that first visit will be magical; I can imagine you are so excited about going. I will NEVER forget my first visit with my husband and it can still make me weak in the knees when I remember him walking across the room to where I was waiting for him. **sigh**

Have a great visit!!! When will you be going?

Care

thanks everyone for the helpbut let me tel you all i;m so scared i will do some wronge and will mess up the visit. and i know the age shouldnt be inportant but i have a daughter that is 3 yrs older and a son3 your younger.so this age thing is really hard om me and my kids know i am writing bobby.but theys something i didnt tell you guys in the beginning i;m married and my hubby is in iraq but he finds he need to cheat om me a few times a yr and we have been married for 30 yrs but i;n tired of the cheating and i want some one to love me and not cheat on me and i know bobby wouldnt.so do you all think i;m crazy.

(post edited by staff)

i think anyone that sees a need to cheat is unjustifiable....EVEN if the other is cheating...two wrongs dont make a right.

(post edited by staff - name in question has been removed)

While I understand your need to feel loved and appreciated, and your pain for having a husband who "feels the need to cheat on you a few times a year", looking for a relationship that is "safe" so that you don't cheat as well is certainly not wise. Besides, when you give your affections to somebody else, it is still cheating whether there is a physical (sexual) relationship or not. In some ways, maybe more so. Think long and hard on this one, joann. There is a lot at stake here and many lives will be affected by your decisions.

ok before everyone gets mad at me . yes i am married but am not living with my husband and havent for awhile not since he gave me herpes. and i didnt say i was in love with bobby i said i had feeling for him.that is why i chose a guy guy on death roll just to be pen pals i wasnt even thinking about getting feeling for him it just happen.but i think he is a very special guy and i am lucky to have him as a friend.

Okay I dont usually put my 2 cents in here, but I think some of us are getting personal here....Miss Joan just asked about the rules of what to wear and how to act on her first visit to one of our prisons. She may have volunteered "too" much information, but thats okay too!~We are not here to judge our/others actions or reasons for how we feel about our loved ones or our backgrounds~ which has forced this poster~Joan~to explain that she is not actually in all technicallity cheating as she has been seperated from her Husband. Expressing Our personal feelings in some situations are not valid to be brought out and sometimes can cause hurt feelings towards members and guests alike. Okay that said..yeah some of you will tell me under your breath to mind my own business but I just want to speak my mind.

Joan I cant help you as to the dress code, I would highly suggest you call the prison and speak to someone in charge of visitation and ask them to explain to you the does and don'ts. Bobby should have a print out he can send you also that might help. Best advice i can give is relax take it one step at a time and it will all fall into place..If you feel lucky to have him as a friend then I bet he feels twice as lucky to have you there for him to talk to!

Good Luck and let us know how the "FIRST" visit went!

GSPack
Alabama Granny

Hi Joann, welcome to PTO and I hope you have a great visit!

tisk tisk granny.....!!! she asked! now you know when someone asks im gonna answer....lol

LOL Ragland...tsk tsk for me getting upset..guess I just went on a defender mode....sorry didn't mean to sound like I was giving a tongue lashing....must be that time of the year..you know seasons come and go and so do our moods....((((HUGS))) to All!

Granny