My brother has been in Prison in Indiana for the last 20 years. He killed my stepfather in 1984 and he will be released in Dec. 2005. I live in Kentucky now and I have for the last 15 years and I've kept some contact with him and visit (mostly in the first 10yrs). My younger brother lives in Indiana and he seems to have the best relationship with him. My concern is sometimes I think about him getting out and it kinda scares me, do we really know who he is anymore? He has spent the better part of his growing and maturing years away from us and I can't help but have these feelings. Has anyone else ever felt this way, or can anyone give me some feedback on their experiences?

I think the only thing you can do is just start to "get to know" him in a pace you are comfortable with - - It may take some time.

I am sure he isnt the same person he was when he first went away. You might be pleasantly surprised as to the man he has turned out to be.

If you truly feel you are scared or fearful of him. I would suggest expressing that you write to him before he is released and start talking about it now. I dont think you have to put yourself into a situation where you are uncomfortable just because he is your brother.

Do what is best for yourself too.

Your brother well be home for the holidays...So the family can have time and good cheer to get to know him all over again..Of course he will feel funny in the beinging because he is free and not use to being free. But he is your brother and blood is thicker than water..Just take it day to day...You'll find the love you losted and you'll feel like he has always been there..He payed for his mistake..It just takes time don't be afarid of your brother..He loves you and probably really missed you........minnie:cool: PS Give him a chances to get use to the free world..Don't turn your back...Family..He and you well once again become good friends.....

Thanks everyone for your replies:) I really like this statement:

I am sure he isnt the same person he was when he first went away. You might be pleasantly surprised as to the man he has turned out to be.

I know he really misses all of us. He told my younger brother the other day that the first thing he wants to do when he gets out is just sit on someone's back porch and feel the wind on his face and be able to just look at the sky:) I sure want to be the one to give him the opportunity:) I just worry about him so much in the way that it all could be such a cultural shock to him. I mean we didn't even have cordless phones when he went in and now look at the cell phone's. Just things like that I wonder how hard it is going to be for him to fit back in. I do love him and your right, blood is thicker than water and I know he is sorry for what he has done. He is one of the most intelligent persons that I have ever met and it still just blows my mind that all of this has happened.

Once again, thank you so much for your replies, I'm so glad that I found this "FAMILY":)
Michelle

Hey Just a update on me and my brother Allan. I started writing to him again and it all flows so easily. We have been sending each other 3 or 4 letters a week and it's been great. He sounds so terrific and seems like he really has his head together for when he gets out. Doesn't have his goals set too high and he understands that it's gonna be a struggle for him but he said he's ready to face it head on and do whatever it takes to make his life work on the outside. I'm so proud of him. I've already set him up with a couple of magazine subscriptions and sent him some books from Amazon.com. I'm so looking forward to his release. He said the last year has flown by and is really looking forward to his last year in there doing the same.:) It's been 20 years since I've had my big brother on the outside and I can't wait until 12/21/2005 to have him home again!!:)

Thanks for the replies everyone and giving me the courage to write him and start to get to know him again.:)

Michelle Z.

MZachow- I am so glad you and your brother are getting to know one another again through letters. It's so great that he will have you for support when he comes home next year - he can start focusing on his future now. Please keep us posted.

Thanks DLM, I really don't think I would have ever found the courage to start a relationship back up with him if I hadn't found this site:) It is truly a inspiration and a blessing for everyone in a situation with a loved one in side. I'll keep everyone up to date on Allan's progress as his last year of incarceration and I'll still be around to post and give updates after he returns home.

Michelle Z.

I had the same feelings about my brother too and now I regret to say that we can't find him anywhere since his release. We all love him and miss him very much and I would jump at the chance to get to know and help him adjust to the changes that have taken place since he's been gone.

you are very lucky to have your brother coming home, how i wish my brother was coming home too.i miss him very much,i wish your brother the best.god bless you and your family.

Actually, I haven't seen or talked to him in about 10 or 11 years. He was released in 2002 but we can't find him now. I was trying to find someone in the prisons where he was at and ask around to see if anyone knew him and knew where he might be heading when he got out so I can start searchin there for him cause I have run out of places to look! But thank you for the kind words and good luck your brother today and always.
Kristi