Recently I received a visitor application in a letter from my friend. I was so excited until fear took over....Without a doubt I plan on visiting soon...I guess the nerves come from what to expect.

He's at San Quentin, and I understand that each prison is different. He said we can hug/kiss at the beginning, we can hold hands for four hours, then another kiss/hug good bye. Which is quite a surprise :thumbsup: ...I would have expected that there would be no contact allowed.

I think about the visit so much. What it will be like to hear his voice, see his smile, watch him laugh, be able to touch him if only briefly.

Then I get freaked out by the fact that we have never met before. I will be far away from home with no support around. What will the people at the prison be like? I imagine I will be a wreck after the visit !! To know that it may be the one and only time I get to see him.

I was wondering if there is anyone out there that has ever met their deathrow penpal? What is it like? What can I expect ? How do I prepare emotionally ?

Thank you

This is a link to an old 2002 thread, but I think it might answer your questions. One of our Dutch member visited a D/R inmate at San Quentin.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4759

Hope that helps
Phil

And here's the link to her 2nd visit.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7445

Phil

my boyfriend is on DR at san quentin, so let me try to help you out here. first after you get approved you will need to make an appointment 7 days in advance to visit him. 415-455-5023 is the number you need to call to schedule this appointment between the hours of 8-10am pacific time. and the days you can visit are thursday or friday then saturday or sunday. basically you only get to visit one week day and one weekend day. if he already has an appointment on the day you call to try ot visit you will not get to see him. you will not get a four hour visit. the only wa this will happen is if you visit at 7, 9, or 10 am. the visits are always 2 hours long, but the only way you could get a 4 hour visit is if you ask for an extension one youre there adn if they have room for you to stay an additional 2 hours then you may.
visits are contact, but let me warn you it will trip you out. when you get to the visiting room there are 11 cages and it looks like youre in an animal kennel where you will visit the inmate and its no larger than your closet. you have to watch the inmate come to the visit and return from the visits with a guard handcuffing him. this makes me wanna cry. you can hug, hold hands and kiss, etc during the visit., the guards are really nice there. if you need any more info pm me and ill let you know, but so far i hope this info helped.

These threads always make me bitter about the fact that TX DR has no contact visits.

These threads always make me bitter about the fact that TX DR has no contact visits.


Thank you !!!!! For real. And so many other states do have contact. Like Florida and Georgia. It makes me :angry: :mad: and :(

IceBlueSparkle,
I couldnt of written it better myself.Ive spoken to Ruben & it made my :love: melt.Im waiting on my visiting being approved & im soooo nervous.I guess the first time is the hardest.Im scared about how im going to feel so far away from home,im nervous about the visiting area ive heard so much about,sometimes i think i cant do this.what ifffff when he sees me in person he doesnt like what he sees.I love him so much it really is difficult to deal with sometimes but here on Pto we are here for one another so good luck & let me no how you get on.pm me anytime:)

(smiles) You are going through what I will go through soon... I plan to surprise my penpal a state away next month, 3 months earlier than the scheduled visit. I'm nervous as ****. :D

But I know a lifer at the local pentientary. He will serve his time until 2011 then he will apply for parole. I am corresponding with him and I plan to bring up the idea of me visiting him in 2006, 3 years after the first letter. When I do visit this lifer friend, I'd be nervous! :p

I think you feel more nervous as heck because this penpal (or boyfriend?) of yours is a lifer... But I do understand your anxiety. I'm very nervous as I make a trip plan to see my penpal next month and I can predict my extreme anxiety when I visit my lifer friend in 2006. Nothing you really can do to prepare yourself emotionally for the visit. Just bring a spare change of clothes (or a few!) in case when you are at the prison. Ahem...

Just.... go see him and BREAK THE ICE! :) I wish you the best, IceBlue!

So have you had your first visit yet, IceBlue? I hope it's everything that you hoped it would be and more.

I was terrified the first time I visited my first DR pal. This man is literally my best friend on the entire planet, and I was scared s***less the first time. I found out on a Thursday that I was on his list, and I went in that Saturday night. There was no contact (he's in Texas... grrr...), but truthfully, the friendship just took off from there. We were amazingly close before I went, and now... I can't imagine my life without him, nor would I want to.

I found our first visit to be an extremely emotional experience. And now every time I visit a new pal, even though it's not as bad as that first trip to Polunsky, I still get VERY nervous. But I don't regret visiting any of the guys that I now visit. It's only strengthened the bonds that I have with these men. And the first pal that I visited... I see him every week now.

So sweetie, just take some deep breaths, and go for it. It will definitely change your relationship with this man... but definitely for the better.

Recently I received a visitor application in a letter from my friend. I was so excited until fear took over....Without a doubt I plan on visiting soon...I guess the nerves come from what to expect.

He's at San Quentin, and I understand that each prison is different. He said we can hug/kiss at the beginning, we can hold hands for four hours, then another kiss/hug good bye. Which is quite a surprise :thumbsup: ...I would have expected that there would be no contact allowed.

I think about the visit so much. What it will be like to hear his voice, see his smile, watch him laugh, be able to touch him if only briefly.

Then I get freaked out by the fact that we have never met before. I will be far away from home with no support around. What will the people at the prison be like? I imagine I will be a wreck after the visit !! To know that it may be the one and only time I get to see him.

I was wondering if there is anyone out there that has ever met their deathrow penpal? What is it like? What can I expect ? How do I prepare emotionally ?

Thank you

This post sounds like I could have written it! I will journey to San Quentin's death row from the East Coast, for the first time in July! I am excited and terrified, all at the same time. So afraid that I might have the wrong clothes on, etc. I don't want to come all the way from the DC area and not get to see him. I have so many questions . . . I just don't know if I'll survive the waiting for these next two months! LOL

my boyfriend is on DR at san quentin, so let me try to help you out here. first after you get approved you will need to make an appointment 7 days in advance to visit him. 415-455-5023 is the number you need to call to schedule this appointment between the hours of 8-10am pacific time. and the days you can visit are thursday or friday then saturday or sunday.

She was talking about a 4 hour visit so I guess she gets special visits like me, and if she goes for a 4 hrs visit she can not take Friday, also applications should be made in writing. At least that is what I had to do. You can either choose 4 days for 4 hrs each or two days for 4 hrs each, but again, if you choose 4 hrs, you can not choose a Friday. But like I said, thats just what I had to do.

She was talking about a 4 hour visit so I guess she gets special visits like me, and if she goes for a 4 hrs visit she can not take Friday, also applications should be made in writing. At least that is what I had to do. You can either choose 4 days for 4 hrs each or two days for 4 hrs each, but again, if you choose 4 hrs, you can not choose a Friday. But like I said, thats just what I had to do.

If I'm coming from almost 3000 miles away, do I get "special visits"? Do I get (4) 4-hour or (2) 4-hour visits? Would the (4) 4-hour have to be consecutive days? Oh Lord, I'm sooooo confused! :confused:

The special visit has to be in your first week. Meaning you have to make sure you get there to have your first visit on Thursday, or if you have the 4 hrs visit for Saturday to have Saturday and Sunday. If you stay longer than a week the rest of your visits have to be sceduled just like everyone else does. I am sure with 3000 miles away you should be getting special visits. If you need a layout of the letter let me know.

when i visited san quentin d r i took along another set of clothes and put them in the locker just incase i was wearing the wrong color, as you are not allowed to dress in anmy color that the inmates wear and they would not let us wear anything with logos on either. but check with your pp he can get the information for you

Hello,

Here is the guidance lines to visit an inmate at San Quentin concerning clothes:

You can grab the document (on a counter at the entrance) after your visit, here is what is said:



Prohibited attire: brassieres with metal underwires or any other detectable metal are not permitted (a very important thing not to be forgotten! I have my special bras that I only wear while visiting Richard at SQ!!!); clothing which, in any combination of shades or types of material/fabric resembles California State-issued inmate clothing, blue denim or chambray shirts and blue denim pants; clothing that resembles law enforcement or military-type clothing, including rain gear; hats, wigs or hairpieces (except with prior written approval of the visiting Sergeant); clothing that exposes the breast/chest area, genital area, or buttocks; dresses, skirts, pants and shorts exposing more than two inches above the knee, including slits when standing; sheer or transparent garments; strapless or “spaghetti” strap tops; clothing exposing the midriff area; clothing or accessories displaying obscene or offensive language or drawings.



Acceptable identification: a valid State driver’s license with picture; a valid state department or motor vehicles identification card with picture; a valid armed forces identification card with picture; identification card issued by the United States Department of Justice Immigration and Naturalization services with pictures; picture Passport; picture identification matricula consular de Alta Seguridad (MCAS) issued by the Mexican Consulate.



Allowable items: identification card; one handkerchief, no bandanas; tissues pack unopened; clear change purse; $30 per adult in one dollar bills only and coins; comb or brush; two keys on a ring with no attachments; 10 photographs; Indian medicine bag, upon inspection approval; two small (less than 12 inches in length) solid toys; one infant carrier; six disposable diapers; factory-sealed baby wipes; two transparent plastic baby bottles of pre-mixed formula/milk/juice per baby; one transparent pacifier; 3 jars of factory sealed baby food and one plastic baby spoon; one single-layer baby blanket; one transparent diaper bag; one change of baby clothing; one single-layer burp cloth.



Prohibited items: all tobacco and tobacco products; food (all refreshment are to be purchased from the vending machines located in the visiting room except camps and ranches); chewing gum; purses; cameras; pagers; cell phones; writing materials or books.



If you have any other questions, please fell free to ask, I’ve been to San Quentin over than 20 times and I’m French… so I had to get through it! By the way, I never had any problem of any kind with the CO’s who were always respectable of me… maybe the French passport was part of it because they were really eager to know about Paris (smile)!



Good luck!

at last ive booked the flight booked the hotel im going to see my hun on the 18 th oct just got to book the visits any information from anyone as i have never been to the usa before

at last ive booked the flight booked the hotel im going to see my hun on the 18 th oct just got to book the visits any information from anyone as i have never been to the usa before Hi- I'm going from Canada to visit my pen pal in the USA in the Fall...I wish you luck and love...let me know how it goes...do you have a hotel booked? Is he near the city?

[QUOTE=wilkie]Hi- I'm going from Canada to visit my pen pal in the USA in the Fall...I wish you luck and love...I'm going to Nevada in Oct., I've never been that far away from home...let me know how it goes...do you have a hotel booked? Is he near the city? Are you going alone?