OK, I am on my last nerve, seriously...He is not writing again...I am so stressed out, I get so depressed when I check the mail.. It's a darn good thing I quit drinking cause I would be a mess!!! But I'm eating everything in sight!! Why can't he write?? Does anyone else go thru this??? Grrrrrrrr, I send him money so I know he has stamps and envelopes. I have told him over & over again, I NEED him to participate in this relationship, and that means writing.. We are not able to talk on the phone right now so letters is all we have. I write and send him things everyday.. I have yelled, beg, pleaded, just about broke up with him over this issue, and it's always the same excuse, "But babe, there's nothing happening in here..." BULL.....I just don't know what to do anymore..I know I have no control over him,. but what I hear him saying (or not saying) is I DON'T COUNT!!!! :mad: Any advise would help....Thanks KAT :(

some guys just do not like to write! ask him alot of questions so that he has to answer
them and thats something to write about right there! I had that problem before not for long though I said it is the only thing we have if you can't do that then i guess we have nothing... explain to him how important to you it is and sometimes you don't like to write either it's just the situation at hand so if he loves you he should have no problem, ask him just to send you love notes anything... the menus, what they serve at prison, lol thats what my husband does he sends me all that kind of stuff with little letters just so he makes sure I'm getting mail, come up with ideas for him make him gossip..... it will work out don't stress to hard!! good luck!

mousies wife

STOP writing him for 10 days !!!! Be sure you will soon get a letter !! He will freak out and ask you what's going on. Then tell him: "but babe there's nothing happening in here". He should get the hint.

Phil

Maybe we should write each other instead, Butterfly :)

My guy does the same thing. And I too played all the mind games I knew to get him to write more...lol. Nothing worked, but I've learned to accept it. Just like I understand that his socks can never make it into the hamper and that he's always going to leave a bit of milk in the jug just so he doesn't have to throw it away...hehe.

I know it feels like he doesn't care and if you're like me, you are sooo jealous of everyone on here who's man writes them novels all the time. But when it gets right down to it, I know my husband loves me. I don't really need a piece of paper that says it to know it's true. Ever since I said that to myself, I have felt so much better.

I hope things work out for you in however you choose to handle it :)

Thanks Freckledgrl, yeah maybe we should write each other.....Whah!!!!! LOL.. I know your right, I know he loves me but what the heck? Would it kill him to write???? I have been fighting with him about this forever!! But you made me laugh, sitting here thinking about the things he did at home!! Leaving the cubbards hanging open when he'd go get something to eat!! That use to drive me nuts, I'd tell him, if I hit my head your in BIG trouble..Throwing his clothes all over....I so gave up on that one..He is a real slob,( oh I feel so sorry for his bunkie, LOL) but I wish he was here right now to make a mess.. I would never complain.. I wrote him a 'mad' letter but I guess I won't send it. Heck, it dosen't do any good anyways... WHAHHHHHHHHHHH.......

It is a known fact than men communicate strictly for the purpose of accomplishing something, while women often talk just for entertainment. This being the case, women tend to recall every tiny detail of everything that happens and can recount a conversation word for word to another party later. Men only remember the basic gist of what happened so nothing ever seems that different.
It is also a known fact that men are about as easily trainable as house pets. Reward them with your attention when they have not done anything, and they will never do what you need them to. Getting mad doesn't change them so get your much needed conversation from your girlfriends and write to him only when you feel like it. If he writes back, reward him with something juicy....

Sometimes a good laugh helps :)

It's not asking too much for him to write you. I've even told my guy he could just mail a letter that says nothing but "I Love You" and I'd be happy. But I was sick of being mad at him and I really do feel better now. And LOL about the kitchen cabinets!! My guy does that one too...argh! But yeah, I'd gladly bang my head every day again if I could ;)

Onherown...LMAO!! "reward him with something juicy..." Too funny!!

oh my gosh, some funny things said lol I think its good to laugh at some things that are hurting us. Good for the soul. Am so sorry though hun that he is not writing you as much as you would like. Im one of the lucky ones I guess in that my fiance writes 3-5 letters a week even though I dont always get them because of mail situations. He always tells me nothing happening there, same today as yesterday and tomorrow yet still manages 4-7 pages. We are still finding out about each other, I guess so that helps. And my man before this was definately no letter writer. I know you have tried many things to get him to write you....have you tried writing letters for him and leaving gaps for him to fill in or sentences to finish and then post back to you. If he could manage that it would be something and is also something novel. All the best.

Oh Ozziegirl, We DID that.. It was so neat, I would start a story (usually real steamy) and end it and he picked it up.. I had forgot all about that. It was so fun, but I doubt he'd play along now...Grrrrrrrrr..Onherown...LOL your right they are trainable, but my goodness, I can't seem to win this one.. Guess I'll just take everyones advice and 'chillout', seeing that I don't any ANY control here... He is soooo in trouble.. LOL Thanks everyone...

OK, I am on my last nerve, seriously...He is not writing again...I am so stressed out, I get so depressed when I check the mail.. It's a darn good thing I quit drinking cause I would be a mess!!! But I'm eating everything in sight!! Why can't he write?? Does anyone else go thru this??? Grrrrrrrr, I send him money so I know he has stamps and envelopes. I have told him over & over again, I NEED him to participate in this relationship, and that means writing.. We are not able to talk on the phone right now so letters is all we have. I write and send him things everyday.. I have yelled, beg, pleaded, just about broke up with him over this issue, and it's always the same excuse, "But babe, there's nothing happening in here..." BULL.....I just don't know what to do anymore..I know I have no control over him,. but what I hear him saying (or not saying) is I DON'T COUNT!!!! :mad: Any advise would help....Thanks KAT :(girl, i know what you mean! i send letters everyday too. even emails i get i send to him. so when you feel like you are putting forth all this effort and why cant the just drop a quick line back. i wouldnt put up with that" there is nothing going on in here" crap. i feel like i give him topics to talk baout in the letters i send him you know? it is really hard and depressing sometimes. i just try to think that guys dont really like to write for 1, and 2 matt gets really depressed sometimes and doesnt want to write, he just wants to sleep and keep it all in. maybe your man is the same way!

Try sending him information on his favorite football, basketball and/or baseball team. I just sent my husband the new roster for his team, their schedule, and the new NFL rules. I got three letters back (each one telling me thank you for the stuff) on that one! He writes quite a bit, so I can't complain. I love the posting by onherown. How true is that! LOL One of my husband's friends sent him a paper with a tic tac toe board on it and an X, with the message it was my husband's turn. My husband sent it back that week. I figure they have a good nine weeks worth of mail out of that one.

Like Phil said-----quit taking phone calls. He'll write!

I Gave Up On Mail And Gave Up Complaining About It. I Talk To Him Every Day So Theres Really Not Alot To Write About. I Write Maybe Twice A Week, And He Sends Me Cards Once In Awhile, But I Get To See Him All The Time Too. It Really Does Not Get To Me If He Does Not Write, I Know My Man Loves Me And Thats All I Care About.

When my guy does this I just quit writing until I hear from him. It's amazing how quickly they start writing when they stop getting mail. Don't waste your time and energy badgering him. Action is much more effective- he'll get the message if you just don't send him anything until he responds to your mail! Hang in there!

yes i understand where you coming from because i haven't got a letter in a week and i usually is the one who stop writing but i guess it's pay back:angry:

I know what you mean. Our letters are very important. Thing is we won't ever get calls.....so he has to stay writing. He is good about writing. We went through some business about him being mad at me. And him not writing. Then he went back to writing. Then I was just talking about all the delays the prison does on purpose. But only on letters he sends me. So.....he always got my mail. So I mention it. He says we gotta accept it. Hey I don't have to accept nothing.....so I started really slacking off writing. Wow did he get mad. But he became very regular with his writing.....and does not say just accept it. Well not about mail anyway. I can tell when he is mad at me. Because he will send fewer pages.

Hope you get that mail REAL SOON! ;)

My guy goes through phases; sometimes he writes a couple of times a week, and other times (like now, and I'm SO peed off) he really slacks. I guess my thought was always that, doing life, it'll all even out eventually. Still, since letters have been all we have besides those twice-a-year visits, I often think he could try a bit harder, even when there's nothing going on. In fact, I'm really ticked right now. Going through all this hassle & stress, in the process of moving 3,000 miles so I can be closer to him; shoot, a letter more often than every 7-10 days would be NICE. There; got THAT out. He DOES write when he wants something; maybe I'll just MAKE him want something more often ;). Or tell him that I'm going to get some penpals, so that the daily walk to the post office isn't in vain QUITE so often. Gee, guess I AM mad.....