I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Tana, I have not used Meth, but sister did and from what she has said she used for a while too like a couple of years. She did change a lot, she lived with my mom and by the time she was 17 was living with her bofriend we didn't know what was going on withher she wanst her self at all. We figured drugs but didn't think it would be crank. She is just now adimitting to us she used and is clean now. After she got away from all those people inculding her husband who used crank too. But she seems to be doing good she is more like old self.but in some ways she is differnt. She hasnt said anything about the nightmares or cravings but I will ask her for you.
I hate that you are going through this and having such a hard time with it. I am very glad you decided your unborn child was more important than the drugs. I hope you can find out the answers you want and are able to stay clean for good. I have heard it is a horrible drug to come clean from. I wish you luck and you (and all addicts) are in my prayers. God bless you.
Brandi

Tana, I really hope that you stay away from meth. I'm praying for your recovery.
I've never used meth or any drugs.

You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!

That is good that you only used for months, some people go for years and still don't stop. I believe that if you are experiencing pain maybe a counselor would be helpful. There could be underlying issues here which is in my opinion why people even turn to drugs. Once the pain killer is removed you must deal with yourself and that means dealing with whatever it is that caused you to continue to use in the first place.Good Luck on you journey.You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!

Great!!!!!!! Good for you!!!! I have not used meth, but I have experiences with people on it. It is a hard drug to get off. I have seen the devastation that it has wrought in people's lives and it will age you real fast as well as the people you love as they stand helplessly by and watch it take it's toll on you. It is an addiction that is hard to break, but, it can be done. Sounds like you are on the road to doing just that! Best wishes and prayers out to you!

I was doing crstal before crystal was even known...I am and was a speed freak for more years than i care to count and meth was my drug of choice...it took me years and years to get clean and more years after that to recover...I hope you have yourself a good support system,...as much as i hated "meetings" they and the people there are what got me thru. Its going to get better...you gotta hang tuff and stay close to the people who love you no matter what...i still have a drug induced nightmare now and then...and i have been clean for over 10 years...pm me if you need to talk...keeping you in my prayers

Congratulations on getting clean I really truly hope you stay that way. I was a speed queen from way back when. It consumed my life and I thought I'd never get out from under it. It is such a destructive thing to do your mind, body and soul. I will never ever be the same from my many years of use. After using pretty steadily for about 10 years I finally laid it down about 7 years ago with a short relapse about 4 years ago. It is so strange to me to know I once liked the feeling it brought me. I am so glad that feeling that way is behind me. It is a one day at a time thing. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me...

Stay Strong,
Patty

Its been about 15 yrs. since I snorted my last line of crank. That's when I moved outta state and away from it. We never bought big quantities and I remember we used it all up until it was gone. I remember force feeding, and hoping and praying to go to sleep. I also remember the urges - they were strong, if there was any more meth in the bag I had to do it until it was gone. It kept calling me, we would search the bars for more. Anyhow since I've been away from it if someone offered it to me now I would turn it down. But that's what worked for me - to move away from my drug infested neighborhood. It was everywhere and that was too much temptation for me. I moved outta state to a little country town where the worst they do is smoke a little home grown pot. Best wishes and keep strong, you can do it. :)

everyday is a struggle to get through because I cant focus on things for long periods of time like I used to. The drug gives you all this energy and ability to get things done a lot faster and easier. MY mind is so messed up, its will take years to repair the damage thsts done and the nightmares and sleepless nights are the worst part. Its hard and embarressing to talk about but I feel like I can be myself here and no one will judge me because there are people who have been through it either themselves or your man or family or friends. A good support system is always the best.

SPEED KILLS "DONT METH WITH IT"

My ex just got busted for running a meth lab. HELLO, can we say STUPID! I guess he also was using. I havent seen him since then since he is in TX and i am in WI. But my friends have been telling me that he constantly looks "geeked" and shakes. Also, I should mention that he got blown up in the meth lab. (Somone enter with a lit cig so I am told) and he had second and third degree burns, he also had his lungs burned internally from the ether that was being used. I cannot understand why people could stand to use something that contains such deadly things. I am not here to judge and will support anyone who "rehabs" themselves. I guess my ex also will be going through a drug treatment program to get a reduced sentance for having to plead guilty to possesion of 99 grams of meth. That is a lot isnt it? I dont know these things... I hav ealso heard it is a very hard habit to kick, and would strongly recommend detox/rehad support group etc for anyone attempting to release this evil from their bodies. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Don't be embarrassed, it will get easier ... and about your mind. I did so much drugs in my teens - that was the 60's (i.e, acid city) and drugs in my 20s & 30s ... guess what? I have straight A's today in school, the only one in my class. See? You will be fine, hang in there and hang tough! :)

Relapsing after the baby is born is gonna be the hardest thing not to do and the scariest thought, also my fiancee has been struggling with this drug since he was 15 and hes 21 now, keeping him sober through support will help.

Different people handle it in different ways. Some people have a harder time than others. I use to love meth,crack,pot,coke,blotter...you name it...I did it. Now I don't judge people who do it but I discovered that I can't help those who are actively doing it. I've tried. They don't listen. Your on your way. You will look back and hate it. I don't have any reactions or side effects but some people do. It's been many many years since I did any drugs. I just enjoy a clean mind now.

hey girl good for you!!! I have a year and 8 months now... clean! It is a good feelinggirl.. keeo your head up hun. The cravingwill go away soon! do you smoke cigarettes? that always helped me! Ok much love girl if you ever need to talk PMMe ok!

Laters

Hey girl,

I to am trying to get clean. But from methadone not meth. I think when I lived in Texas I tried it maybe twice. ( if crank is the same thing) only I didn't like it. We all have our Drug of Choice. The sad things is. That they not only enter our lives but the ones we love. I got clean for a baby 14 years ago. And he is just perfect.
But, right now I am stuggling from the withdrawals. Which also last a long time. I wil be glad to post when I have 3months. I only have 11 days. Which is a big step for me. I am an old junkie. This time I had almost 6 years clean then here came the devil. And the thoughts that this one time want hurt. Well it did. And now I and my family suffer from my addiction. I am proud of you. I doesn't matter what drug. A drug is a drug is a drug......doesn't matter which one. They are all tuff. But, as the days past into months your mind will clear and your body will heal.
My prayers are with you and God's speed on you recovery.
Get to the meetings they really do help........Kat

Hi I am also a recovering Meth addict . I have been clean for 2years but i have had a few slips which i am not proud of. In order to stay clean i had to move away from everyone I know. I didnt' just use meth though i used Crack, Coke whatever would make me stay awake for days and a time. My husband dealt whatver he could get his hands on to support my habit. We lived a terrible life people in and out of our house 24/7 our poor children i hate to even get into that. But know that we are clean things are much better. Life will get meaning back and you will find something to fill the void in your heart that you think you will never fill. TRUST ME i had the same feeling. My husband is currently serving a 10 year sentence for dealing Meth and cocaine. Have you tried to go to church believe it or not if you ask GOD to deal with it cause you can't he will. It will make your shoulders lighter and he will guide you in the right path. just believe and he will help you. i wish you all the best of luck.. GO TO MEETINGS It works , if you work it , its worth it

I teach young children whose parents are drug users and the parents have no idea how it is affecting their poor helpless children. Please for the sake of your child hang in there!!! It is worth it in every way. You are so blessed to be able to have a child of your own. I am so happy that you have made a life changing decision for yourself and your child. The happiness you will find could never compare to things in the past. The best road to take is not always the easiest and the easiest road to take is not always the best. You can do it!!! Pray and talk to people !! I am praying for you and a healthy baby :)

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been clean for a year this month. I got clean just a few weeks before I got pregnant with my son. I was Very involved in a "lab" that got busted days after I made my decision to get my life together. God was watching over me!! I used for over 2 years I think. Fortunately I didn't have very many sideaffects from it. The only thing that is really noticable to me is memoryloss. My mom gets so upset when I don't remember things that happened or that I did. I just have to remind her it was the drugs.

Just this week I had my very first "urge" to pick up the phone and make that call. Ihad the phone in my hand, but I looked over and saw my 3 month old son sleeping and it brought me back to my senses. In my situation I miss the environment more than I miss the drug.

If you are still having urges and bad dreams then I don't think it's a good idea for you to try to do this on your own. The best thing to do is find a support group. I have learned that you can't help someone get clean until they are ready. You definitly have to "change your playground and your playmates". That's the hard step. The only friends I had when I started using were users. My other friends couldn't stand to be around me. Just be strong and remember we are all here for you. If you ever need anything you can PM any of us.

I have never used meth before but my recently exboyfriend does. I am on the other side of how it ruins things. He is a very moody person, very unruly and just down right mean. We have a daughter together and I have an older daughter from a previous relationship and I told him until he gets help that he IS NOT going to be around me or my girls. Its all up to him now. I love him with all my heart but I love myself and my daughters more. I would support him if he wanted to get help he is a former herion addict that for some reason let me help him get help for that. Then he started doing meth. I honestly believe his mind is out of there and as much as I would like to help, I cant until he decides to help himself. He doesnt even realize what he is doing. It is scarey. I dont even think he remembers these last years of our relationship. That hurts!!! Then I find that everyone that loves him they are the bad people in his life and everyone that uses are "Good People", they can do no wrong but the loved ones he finds everything wrong with. I cant believe he doesnt see that. SO, to all who have cleaned there acts up I thank you so much for doing that. YOU and everything you do does matter and everything you do does affect everyone around you. If your miserable so are they.~~~~~ Congratulations to the clean and sober~~~~~

Babylove!!! I am so happy that you are not a user of meth anymore. I to used meth with my fiance. He got caught and I didn't. So i stopped right then. It is so addictive that he started selling to support his habbit and then cooking to support his habbit. He is in prison now. We have a 2 year old son, and I haven't touched in in 4 years. I was not an addict, I didn't crave it, I think I only did it cause that's what all the people did that we hung around. SO, my advise to you......don't be around people that do it or talk about it. Chris still has dreams and still shakes. He won't admit it to me, but I think he still craves it. He is in a rehabilitatio prison and is doing very well. You should try going to some classes about this. Talking to others with the same problem may help. I will keep you and the baby and your fiance in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to PM me anytime. (((HUGS))) to you,the baby,and your fiance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks to everyone for all their prayers and support I need it a lot and it really helps reading the stories you have all told me and i hope more people could tell me their experiences also.

:cuffs:
I started using meth when I was 14 years old, I met my fiance through my deals and we hung out with the same people. Meth destroyed my life, I quit for a year I had 2 jobs, a brand new Honda Civic , and everything I ever wanted. Then one new years it was put out in front of me and I relapsed and I got into it again BAD I went from a size 18 to a size 9 in 2 months. I over dosed 2 in a years time, It took me losing everything for me to realise that it wasn't worth it. I lost my jobs, my car, my fiance,my house, my family , jail time, and almost my life because of it. Well my SO went down and I've been clean since," 8 1/2 months." That felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had a choice the man I love or a doped up life. I now am a full time student trying to get our life back on track . My fiance may have 8-10 years ahead of him but we both see it as our wake up call. and we thank GOD because of it ..

Congratulations to everyone who is struggling with this addiction. High praises to those who have kicked the monkey off thier backs.

I just want to let you all know that it can be done. I never used Meth, but am now 21 years cocaine free.

You are all held in the highest esteem. I am so proud of y'all!!

JJT

HaHa....I don't even know what meth looks like let alone tryed it! I never really hear anything about that in Canada......but I'm sure we have it here too?????

Be very proud of the fact that your clean today. As a alcoholic/addict in recovery for 18 years now, the struggle to stay clean is easier than in the beginning, but there are times that I think hard about getting just a "hit". Maybe it's a good thing I have alot of bills, I have nice stuff and keep telling myself I don't want to lose it. I just can't afford to mess up and lose everything I've struggled for all this time. Keep up the good work girl....I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I've been clean for about 7 years... It's really hard work, trust me, I've been there... but stay strong... life only gets better...****{huggs}}}

the biggest challenge is chosing your friends wisely and having enough courage to say no to people you feel really are not going to be a beneficial part of your sober recovery because once you have been caught up in that drug world for so long those kind of people are the only friends you know. Changing cities will really help and even states. Ron and I have decided to move from East Mesa to Phoenix and eventually out of state. I know it will be a huge change and hard at first but together we can do it.

I was clean for two weeks until tonight.... I know exactly what you're going through. That was one of many attempts to quit. I have been high for 5 years now. PM if you need anything or want to talk!:)

it gets better.....pretty soon the dope dreams will afford you some gratitude, upon awakening, that it's only a dream and not reality.......(some times I have dreams I am in a meeting~smile~ most of us have drinking/using dreams for, I guess ,ever

I have spent 22 years in addictions, about 8 total years (on and off) addicted to meth.

If you are having a hard time still, you may want to talk to a doctor and get on some medications. You may have other problems than just Post Acute Withdrawal.

I am right with you.... I am now AGAIN back on the wagon - the longest I've made it so far was 29 days... I see what it is doing to everyone around me and to myself. I know that if I want the things I truly desire in life - I have to let it go. If not - I will not only lose myself and my family, I will lose my best friend who is in for 180 days due to it and won't be able to be around it, my hunny is clean now and he has to walk away from everything he knew before he went in or he will just end up back in - including me if I don't get my shit straight. It is a bitch to clean up from.... but I gotta do it. The difference for me this time is now I quit talking about it and I am now getting active about getting and staying clean. I have gotten rid of all my "things", dropped contact with all that are still using as they will just drag me back in right now, I quit staring at my recovery workbook from lifering.com and am now actually working it, I read my one day at a time from NA each and everyday..... I have the desire again.... sure it is easy to say as I only have a week under my belt this time.... but here's to my 30 days - then my 90 and so on and so on... better yet... here's to staying clean TODAY. Good luck to you - it is a long hard road.... but the end of this road is true freedom....

Babylove,
Girl I understand what you are going through not from personal use but because I went through all of that with my man. When I first met him all he did was smoke bud , but gradually he fell back into old haibts and started with the meth again.:(
When he was on it I hated him:angry: . He was a totally diffrent person. When he was on meth I was being everybody , lying , sneeking aroung and to him I was being funny style with my ways.When we/I would be going to sleep:sleepy: he would wake me becuase he would be hearing noises:shake: or he would said that he would see demons:fb: in our room.He finally got his head out of his a** and relized what it was doing to himself but also to our family . He has now been clean for 5 months , and I am very proud of him:) .
I never used meth , but I did use speed , for about 2-2 1/2 years , but I am now clean for 3 years . If people were to ask me if I regret it , I would honestly have to say no because it was a learning experience for me and what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.Some of us have to go through things like think I guess to learn and grow !
But you deserve a :hifive: for acknowledging you had a problem and deciding to quit not just for yourself but for your baby.Good luck and don't give up nomatter how it is. If you ever need to talk PM me sometime. Keep us Posted!

I am also a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. I quit all drugs 7 years ago and alcohol 3. Meth was never my drug of choice cuz it always made me sooo sick but I did do it for a long time. As for drugs and alcohol I too had to cut all ties, friends boyfriend everyone. I even moved to a different town cuz you cant even be in a place that you know where to get it cuz its so easy to say oh I'll just stop by and see if they have a little bit. People say you shouldnt run from your problems but if you have to run until your strong enough to say NO then so be it run forest run. I can go to my home town now without even thinking about drugs, without wanting to go to the bar I can even hang out with old friends cuz I am strong enough to say NO.

I have been clean for almost 5 months now. Its been hard dealing with the strong after affects, my unstable mental illness/ personality disorders, and my fiancee in prison. I have started to taste it in my mouth as of late. I can see my self smoking it or snorting it and it takes me back. I also find my self inadversitly grinding my teeth, which was always my nasty habit when I was high. I am afraid that when my daughter is born my taste for it will grow to strong and overtake me to the point that I make myself sick without it. My fiancee will be out by then and hes an addict too, I cazn only hope we can be strong for each other and that some classes will help. Will this ever end?
Tana

((((hugs))))
Congrats on your 5 Months!!! that is an amazing feat. It sounds like you are going through a period right around 5-6 Months which is common to have what you are describing called cravings. I am not sure if you belong to any group or not, but I would
highly recommend some type of 12 step support group. NA- Narcotics anonymous.
This support will help you get through the cravings that will come and go and
I am not sure if they will ever fully go away because even after 7 1/2 years of recovery I still once in a while still get cravings, but I have learned and picked
up tools that get me through rough spots.

Keep up the good work.

Congrats on making 5 months!! I hope I can make it there... it seems lately I do good to make it 5 days!! But it does give me hope to see others who are going through similar... unless you've been there specifically with this demon you don't understand it... sucks. I've done other things before and been around people who have and this one is all its own..... With a 98% return rate it seems the odds are stacked against us... but when I see those who have and are recovering from it...it speaks louder than statistics!! Congratulations to you and I wish you the very best. I hope one day I can join the ranks!! Fingers crossed!!

I am an ex offender from texas and went down for meth. I can tell you that before i went to prison i weighed 99 lbs and am 5'4" not good. but I thought i looked great. My ex was a cook it was everywhere. When I went to prison and got my head back on i realized just what I had done. Well i ask not to be paroled back to my home because of that reason and guess what that is just where they sent me. So once again it was there everywhere I went to my parole officer and ask to move but before i could get out they busted the house and once again i was caught up in the mess. Luckily my parole office kept me out of prison but I am doing a 3 years probation after doing my parole. Nothing is worth your freedom NOTHING not love not promises NOTHING and that is what you will lose if you start again. Move forward and be a mother your child can be prous of and always remember where you came from and get help with the problem that took you to drugs and there is one believe me you just have to get into counseling to find out what it is, good luck and god bless

First let me say...I am VERY proud of you, I too am a recovering addict! I promise you it will eventually get better, meth affects everyone differently so, maybe you should seek professional help, they will be able to determine the best method for your recovery. I sincerely hope you are not anywhere near anybody that chooses to use, putting it down and leaving it alone is the hardest part. The urge is strong, it controls your will. I had to leave all the "old" friends and the "old" places just to stay away from it. I hope you have a strong support group, because love, you will need it.
I will pray for you and your baby, PLEASE PM if you wanna talk......

Relapsing after the baby is born is gonna be the hardest thing not to do and the scariest thought, also my fiancee has been struggling with this drug since he was 15 and hes 21 now, keeping him sober through support will help.
I am a recovering crack addict and when I found out I was pregnant I tried to quit and relapsed a few times during my pregnancy and went to treatment during my last tri-mester with true intentioions for success, I had hit rock-bottom. In all the world I never thought I would hurt my unborn child in that way, of course that was before I picked up the pipe for the first time. Everyone said my challanges lie ahead when the baby is born. That baby has been a miracle and my blessing from God. I still think about using but all I have to do is look at that face and my urge goes away. Don't get me wrong I have to work at it to by going to meetings..... I know if I relapse, I will loose my precious little girl, the most important thing in my life and I will fight those deamons with everything I have. I have been clean for 11 months and am very lucky to have a beautiful, healthy baby.

I tried meth once when I got out of highschool about 15 years ago and had an allergic reaction to it and vowed I would never put anything up my nose ever again including cocaine which after the meth experience I was scared to death to ever try, I kept that promise not to put anything up my nose, it took me 13 years to come accross coke and so I thought smoking wouldn't be that bad to try once or twice......

I wish you the best of luck, hang in there. A program does work, you just have to go - please feel free to PM me if you need to talk, vent or need someone to listen.

I hope you are strong enough to stay away from meth. If not for yourself at least for your baby. My boyfriend's legal problems all have to do with meth in one way or the other. He's been bangin meth since he was 15 (he's 21 now). I HATE THAT DRUG. It is evil and people don't understand that the first time you do meth is the only time you will ever get that "high", from then on you just have to keep doing more and more of it hoping to get that first high once again. I am 24 and am very proud to say that I have never done a single drug in my life (even though some say smoking is a drug.) I recomend getting the book "Clear body, clear mind" by L. Ron Hubbord. My boyfriend finally got clean because of that book. It tells you what you need to do to get the meth out of your system. Most people think that once you stop doing it, it's gone but in reality it isn't and it stays in your system and thats why people relapse.

If you want the book, I have a copy that belongs to my boyfriend and will send it to you. PM me if you'd like the book or just to talk.

Congrats on your being clean and I hope you stay that way. God bless.

Thanks everyone for believing in me and I will keep all those still struggling in my prayers and hope for the best..love you all :D
Tana

My first wife and I did meth with her brother in law. He was the meth monster. Meth tore our relationship to hell. Speed freaks have a hard time communicating and we both turned into monsters. Meth sent me to prison for robbery. 10 out of the last 14 years of my life has been spent paying the consequences for my meth habit. We used the needle, and I'll be affected for the rest of my life.

I've been clean since 1/19/90, but it wasn't easy. I really think it was more mental than physical, even though I battled physically too, and still am after all these years. I take life one day at a time.

Meth caused us to rob, steal, lie, lose jobs, lose friends, and eventually we lost each other. My brother in law was in and out of prison, and in 1991 he made a man deep throat a shotgun and pulled both barrels. He was sent to TDCJ-ID for 25 years, and after serving 10 flat he died of cancer in his spine. All of his hair and teeth were gone, he looked like an old man at 48.

I am a firm believer that the 12 step programs saved my life. Step one taught me to realize I was lost and outta control, step two took awhile. First I came, then I came to, then I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore my sanity. Step 3 is spiritual, and for those who don't believe in God, you can still get to know g.o.d. Good orderly direction. Spend time in the group, trust the group conscience! Talk or share. Allow time for the demon to go away. Life isn't fair, and I've never read anywhere that it is supposed to be, but there is life after meth.:cool:

[QUOTE=babylove]I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months.
Babylove,
I was addicted to meth, for years! It completely destroyed my family and (nearly), destroyed my life! :shake: I was a real mess! I wanted to commit suicide and I wanted to hurt anyone that tried to help me. It is a horrible drug! (and although) it "NEARLY" destroyed me... operative word here is... "Nearly"... it didn't!!! I survived this horrible nightmare! It took me over 3 years to recover (completely). And although the withdrawl symptoms are bad! I believe that you can get through this ordeal. I had used other drugs (as well), mainly Cocaine, but when I tried meth, I fell in Love (Horrible,:angry: but true statement). I tried to go "Cold Turkey" and felt like I was going to die! But little by little, I started wanting it less & less. As I recovered I became very desprssed so, Doctors prescribed 7 Anti-Depressants & 3 Anti-Psychotic medications, the medicines worked for a little while, but not for long! The only way that I (personally) found relief, was by turning to God. I had nowhere else left to turn and no one seemed to understand what I was going through. Only then, was I able to find "real relief". When you feel at your lowest (know in your heart), that this is part of the "process" of getting clean and know that you will survive. Keep yourself busy and be around people, as much as possible (yeah! that is easier said than done, huh!:rolleyes:) Believe me, I know!:p But it is the best thing that you can do for yourself! (Now, this is going to sound kinda dumb!) but (if your not doing so already) try keeping a diet that includes lots and lots of fruits and veggies and taking a good multi-vitamin. This also helped my overall system get back "on track". Sugar was something that I craved (in massive quantities), when I was recovering (but try) to keep away from any form of sugar. If you have a good friend that you can confide in, call them if (and or) when you are feeling "weak". Its hard but not impossible to survive this, addiction. I will be praying for you and I know that you can make it through this! Don't Give Up!:thumbsup: Take Care!

Congrats on your recovery and welcome to PTO, I really relate to your experiences to meth (and sugar :D)

I'm 3 1/2 years sober after riding that addiction train for roughly 6 years. Eddy's in for manufacturing, for 8 1/2 to 13 years. I've done a lot of different drugs - meth is the only one that ever grabbed on and I couldn't shake, no matter how bad I wanted to quit. It took getting so far gone on the crap that I was craving health and wellness and sanity for me and my family more than I was wanting the dope. Since he was a cook it was available 24/7 anytime I wanted, as much as I wanted. I got sick of it. I wanted to feel normal again, and I just quit. Well, I can't say I "just quit", what I did is leave with the kids and begged Eddy to stop what he was doing. He wasn't quite at that place yet though, and several months later he was busted. I never went to treatment or even NA....the one time I tried before, I relapsed hardcore after 3 months. Just wasn't ready. Now I've moved far away from the HUGE circle of friends/co-users/customers that we had, and I choose who I associate with very carefully.
The withdrawal period was one of severe depression/anxiety/cravings/fear. I still have many effects of having been addicted to such a powerful, insidious drug. My memory isn't what it was. My ability to communicate thoughts verbally isn't what it was. I am an administrative assistant for a living, and deal with professional people on the phone and in the office daily. Sometimes I'll form a rational thought in my head, open my mouth, and stumbling bumbling nonsense comes out. It's like something's been short-circuited in there. I work on this all the time and am slowly starting to improve, but I have to really concentrate when I speak.
My creativity is shot, as is my imagination. I cannot make plans without writing them down everywhere and having a couple of people remind me, my memory is terrible! I also have a touch of agoraphobia, which was WAY worse in my first year or two of sobriety...I couldn't fathom holding a job where I'd deal with "the suits" of the world. I still have a morbid fear of law enforcement which I'm slowly overcoming.
I'm terribly moody yet, but compared to where I was even a year ago I've made huge strides there as well. Recovery is happening but it's certainly slow.....
Oh and one more thing. Meth users get skinny. Well I was thin to start with, so you can imagine - anyway, since I've been sober I've put on 50+ lbs that absolutely will NOT come off no matter what I do. I exercise, I diet. Still it stays. A friend of mine told me that meth will completely screw up the metabolism. You are literally starving yourself on meth and your metabolism like all other body processes, is jacked way up. You get off the meth, and the metabolism plummets in its activity level and it's preserving all the calories you take in. It takes a LONG time for the metabolism to realize that it needn't be in "survival" mode, hanging onto all those calories, and it will even itself out. I sure hope so, I'm a size 14 to 16 when for years, I was a 5/6 without even TRYING (and less when I was spun all that time).

Congrads on three months.. that is great.. hold on for the ride of your life ,, what you are experiencing is very normal when detoxing off the drugs.. i too could not put sentences together when i first got clean 12 years ago .. now clean/sober 11years.. i've had my relapses.. and i had to hit my own bottom ... my love was heroin.. and i enjoyed meth.. however it was not that popular with my crowd or area .. of hangin out.. ONE DAY AT A TIME.. baby..


Peace
Donna

I appreciate everyones stories and prayers and gratitude. It really helps me in the long journey I have ahead.

A warning for all current meth users: My 30 yr old brother has a condition directly related to his previous meth use. His brain is deteroriating and there is no way to stop it. He has had a stroke. The doctors say that within a couple of years he will be a vegetable and he has 2 little kids. This stuff is poison, literally. When I was a teenager, meth was my recreational drug of choice. I am drug free, as an adult. Only take advil and benadryl. You can kick the habit!

This friday the 26th will be my six months of being clean. :D I am more proud of myself everyday and I continue to educate and speak about my experiences to people who use or may end up using. I feel its god's intention for me to be an educator and help save lives. Thats why I have decided to become an advocate for cleaning up people. I plan to use my experience and the experience of the people who were my "friends" at the time, to show young people that drugs really do destroy dreams.

I noticed some of you mentioned NA/AA. I wanted to warn you that AA/NA is nothing more than a cult....and statistics show that addicts that do not go to AA/NA have just as good a recovery success as those that do, meaning it doesnt work.
A big thing that bothers me about the 12 step program is it teaches you that you are powerless and makes you group dependant.
You are not powerless... I was a heroin addict for 13 years and beat it on my own...I tried for years in AA/NA and it didnt work...
They told me I wasnt clean if I was taking methadone treatments and I listened to them and tapered off the methadone which caused me to relapse back into heroin because I was so physically sick...so their Bull almost cost me my life..
Websites deleted by Moderator

You are right scarstruck on the fact that aa/na is NOT for everyone.. In my area .. aa/na is not a cult.. the door swings both ways.. no one asks for nothing your there on your on FREE will.

Congrads on beating your heroin addiction.. that is a MOTHER. i know a few people who do not use the 12 step programs and have kicked on their own. I do agree also that some people in the GROUPS.. need to mind their own business and NOT JUDGE someone if they are using methadone/or medication that is prescribed to them.. instead of pretending their DOCTORS..

Some people use the aa/na .. groups as a social outlet now that they are not in bars etc.. and some find a sprituality they may have never had before in their life.. IT IS EVERYONES choice on how to live clean one day at a time!

Peace
D

(((HUGS))) to you all. And I wish you the best in your recovery !! :dance:

I too am a recovering meth user. Me and my bf. And I used hard for about 5 years and he used hard needle and all for about 15 or so. It is getting better for me now I have been clean and sober since i got arrested on June 16, 2004. And to be honest I dont think i would have stopped if it wasnt for me and him getting arrested. he is doing 5 years at 85% for that and other cases he had open and for prison priors and a strike so he got socked real bad i got 6 months and did half time since it was my first offense.

Anyway enough about that I am here to tell you hun if you work a serious program like i mean going to meetings getting a sponsor and actually doing the steps your life and your well being will get better and that is a promise. When i first got in here I had lost my freedom, my house, my job, my sanity and was financially broke. Now that I have 6 months clean I was able to geta job that I love, i have a roof over my head, I am going back to school to earn my degree and my life although sad without my baby is getting a hell of alot better and I seriously owe it to NA and AA.

Without the program I dont know where I would be today. And I am sorry if it sounds like I am preaching I just want everyone to know that there is a way out your life doesnt have to be controlled by meth or any drug for that matter anymore. And believe me I was someone who everyone thought was a lost cause so I know that if i can do it anybody can.

I am amazed at he person I am becoming. My family used to be ashamed of me and wanted nothing to do with me and now they tell me on a constant basis how proud they are of me. That is a miracle in itself and I have abf today who is proud to be with me. And that too is a miracle when I was using I was a good for nothing psycotic person to use the term loosley and today I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of myself and what I have become and for me that is the biggest miracle of all.

And I am sorry like i said for preaching I just want you to know that you are not alone and yes your life will get 100% better but you need to work a program you just cant stop using you have to work the steps and you will be amazed at how much your life will truly change.

If you want to talk or would like more information or whatever just need to vent. I will be more than happy to talk with you just PM I am here if you need me!!

Pita poket


I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Pita, you ROCK!!!! Congrats, girl, I'm very glad you let the drug out of your life. It's a hard row to hoe but you can do it, we ALL can. One day at a time, baby!!!!

I know there are a lot of folks who've had bad NA/AA experiences, and no it isn't for everyone. I tried treatment and it was nothing but a long trigger every time I went. I quit and relapsed hard. It took making the decision by myself and for myself to get clean that did it. I haven't yet seen the inside of an NA group after going on 4 years sober, and I know it's not necessary. I just changed everything about my lifestyle and run with a healthy crowd of a few good friends and concentrate on my job, my kids, and my husband.

Pita, you ROCK!!!! Congrats, girl, I'm very glad you let the drug out of your life. It's a hard row to hoe but you can do it, we ALL can. One day at a time, baby!!!!

I know there are a lot of folks who've had bad NA/AA experiences, and no it isn't for everyone. I tried treatment and it was nothing but a long trigger every time I went. I quit and relapsed hard. It took making the decision by myself and for myself to get clean that did it. I haven't yet seen the inside of an NA group after going on 4 years sober, and I know it's not necessary. I just changed everything about my lifestyle and run with a healthy crowd of a few good friends and concentrate on my job, my kids, and my husband.
Thank youfor the kind words you are right and i should clarify the program isnt for evryone but I know i tried doing it by myself and i couldnt i needed support from others who are like me and congrats that is awesome 4 years is an incredibly long time for a person liek us to be with out meth or drugs that is truly awesome and i take my hat off to those of yu who can do it without the program. it truly takes alot. Perosnlaly for me I cant say I will never do it again but I atleast no for today I dont want nor do i need that shit. the way I look at it I have come too far now to ever go back to the person i used to be and I am much better for it!!

Seriously though congratulations on four years you should be so proud of yourself!! I would love to chat with you more about how you do it on your own, 2 have four years I know you must be doing soemthing right!!

I have been high for almost 6 years. I had been clean since september. I "fell" again about a month ago. I couldn't take the dreams anymore. Everytime I have tried it's the dreams that bring me back. I thought they would go away eventually, but they got more intense as time went on. I haven't came across a good enough reason to stay clean yet,the right motivation so to speak. I have always been told that when you're ready for it to be gone it will be gone. It is mentally exhausting to try to fight that demon over and over and over, but I have hope that someday all of us will succeed in our attempts to become drug free.

I'm sorry shadow. I know how tough it is. The dreams are something else.....I resorted, for awhile, to taking benadryl or tylenol PM to try to knock me into a deep enough sleep that either I wouldn't dream or at least wouldn't remember most of the dreams.

I still have dope dreams, but I've learned to live with them. They're pretty vivid, but I have always been a lucid dreamer, and have always dreamed in full color. I still find myself triggered, I still find myself wanting a hit, but it passes. I keep pretty busy with healthy things and the longer I'm off the sh*t the easier it is to cope with all those uncomfy things.

I know how exhausting it is, but hun, please think about what you're doing to yourself. I don't know if you have kids or family around or a spouse/significant other, but you're missing out on 90% of what makes life worthwhile when you let meth take over. It destroys your body, mind and soul. I know you know all this and that I'm not telling you anything new, but really, it's true what they say about it.

I said way earlier in this thread that it took craving being healthy and sane and normal MORE than the drug to get me to quit. We were part of the "top" of the dope chain....manufacturing - it was around in abundance any time I wanted it. That was part of what made me quit, when it was always there, it lost its appeal. I think most of the addiction is the "thrill of the chase" because when we had a full supply, I quit craving it as much after awhile.

I'm SO glad to be free of that mess....Shadow, my husband is losing 8+ years from life outside, being with his wife and children, because of this sh*t. But for the grace of God I am free, because I chose to get out of the lifestyle just a couple of months before he was taken down by a VERY good friend who snitched him off. As a result, I'm out here trying to raise these kids myself, and awhile back I was dealing with withdrawal while trying to take care of them. When Eddy went in, our son was barely walking. Now he's in kindergarten. He's missed A LOT and he can never, EVER get it back. Life's too short to let dope take you into some dark hole of insanity, or prison, or to kill you before your time. I hope you can find it within yourself to face it head on again....if the dreams and withdrawal get to be too much, see someone about getting along with that. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope to hear from you again.
((((hugs))))
Believe in yourself, you CAN live without meth.....you can NOT live with it.

Congrats to you Babylove.......Keep up the Good Work,Your in My Prayers.I was Lucky and never did do any Kind of Drugs.

NA has been a big help in my life along with other things. If they try to play doctor scar -then you were most definately in the wrong group and I am very sorry for that. Several people in my group have depressive disorders as do myself, and we are on medication to help those disorders. I would be left out if they came to me with the attitude you experianced, and I am sorry you did. Without my medication though, I and others would be a ticking time bomb to fall back into the hands of addiction. Your taught you are powerless over addiction - and I feel you are... Addiction is a bitch and you can not fight it on your own because it involves a life change. Now whether or not you need NA to fight it - depends on the person. But you definately need people who are supportive of what you are doing, new friends to show you a new way of life, etc, etc.

I have never used meth. However, my heart goes out to you. I will be praying that God will totally deliver you from this addiction and the desire to do this horrible drug!!
God Be with You.

back when I was in high school and about 15, I used to do meth.... it's a TERRIBLE drug and I'm SOOOOOOOOO thankful that it was only a phase and I was able to get out of it just as quickly as I got into it... and left it alone without ANY problems!!!! Drugs are VERY bad for you and really can screw up your life. I believe that for ALLLLLL drugs... except pot because well, I smoke pot all the time, I still have a GOOD job (legal secretary), a nice new car, a home to call MY OWN and I pay all my bills. I think any drug that brings you down and makes your life fall apart is NOT NOT NOT even worth trying. I know alot of us have tried and some have gotten out of it... some have had problems with it but for anyone that has NEVER done it...... KEEP IT THAT WAY, TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!! Just my opinion on things :D :twocents:

Personally I don't think there has ever been a drug that does the damage meth does. You deserve a lot of credit for being clean this long and I hope the day comes when you no longer even think about it. Don't romance it, don't think I can use if I change the way I was doing it before..you are lying to yourself. If you feel you are being tempted call N.A. and find support. There will never be a reason good enough to go back, not even losing everything you own or the death of family.

You can do it. One hour at a time if need be but every hour you stay clean is like
money in the bank, an investment on your future life.

This is a very interesting thread. I used meth for about a two year period and was using other drugs as well. I was in the Rave scene and there was alot of everything around. I don't remember the exact moment that I stopped but I just did. I think I lost tocuh with my hook up so that was it. I still stayed in the scene for a year or so after that slowly stopping first the meth, then the coke then my absolute favorite Ecstacy. But I still hung around the same people for a while and sometime still do. I don't think I was actual addicted even though I was using alot, almost daily. If I didn't have it I never thought to go looking for it or had the feeling that I had to have it and I did use meth for a couple of years. I come from a family of addicts, my younger brother had to go to rehab at one point and we used drugs together but it was harder for him to kick than me. I think I am missing the addict gene that runs in my family. I have regrets regarding my drugs use and then again I don't. But I also didn't have problems stopping as some of you have. I didn't have withdrawals or dreams. I know that I would never do drugs again because when I think back and look at the pros and cons I only see the cons. The stuff could be sitting in front of me right now and I would have no urge, actually it would make me sick just to see and smell the stuff.

Babylove...did you have your baby yet? If you did how is that going, I would love to know.

My whole adult life has been thrashed becouse of dope!! I have been on and off for years. If you are still clean, let me know, any ray of hope is great!!!!!!!!

some days are harder than others...depends how much life decides to show up and can i cope. i used to exist in everyday life. what i am saying is i could not function without dope (or so i thought) until i got beat so bad (broken nose, bruised ribs, etc) from my ex who claimed his undying love for me, even after he slammed a big issue in his arm and rearranged my face he still said that he loved me. Go figure. thats what that shit did to me. It robbed me of a love that i will never feel again, violated my trust, left me homeless and my spirit broken. it is a long, difficult road and not always good.

Yes I have defiantly been one who used meth in fact I used it for many years. And many of you already know that I have 9 months clean fromt hat shit as well as clean and sober from any other mind altering substance and I feel great. My life has gotten 10,000 times better than I would haave ever thought possible for an addict such as myself. So I know that if I can get off that shit anyone can!! Belive that!! If anyone wants to talk about it or wants any info on NA or whatever please feel free to PM me. I am here to tell you there is a way out of that lifestyle one that you can never imagine possible.
So please use me for info that is what I am here for I would love to help anyone who wants it in any way that I can!!

I have never used myself, I consider myself the girl next door that married the really bad boy. All I can testify too is that I have seen what it does to a person. My husband has been an addict for over 15 years, I saw him clean for five. He became sober to be with me. The relapse has been the most horrible nightmare. I couldn't have even fathomed some of the things I would have to experience, the things I have had to be a part of, watching the man I love destroy our kids, our marriage, and even himself. The drug SUCKS and is the most addictive controlling thing I have ever seen. I truly pray that he is done, but unfortunately only time will tell. I have an icredible amount of respect for all of those that are in recovery, even if you have only made it one day, its a start. Good luck to all of you!

I used it maybe 3 or 4 times it never got ahole of me though it always made me sick so I never had a problem fighting it but my husband does and it is a very scary thing

I started using Methamphetamine in 1999, by June 1,2000 I was on my way to prison for manufacturing meth. My ex-husband and I were sentenced to probation, but my addiction to meth and the needle were stronger than the thought of doing time. So we went prison. After getting out of Prison I stayed off the drug, and away from the needle for 3 years and 5 months. that was until Dec. 2004 when I thought I would try it again. I have been clean now for a little while...and thats my story...

Sweetie, you only THINK you were handling things better on meth. I'd bet you dollars to doughnuts things were not going as well while you were high. It only felt like they were.

You're going through a brain chemical thing right now-your brain literally has to grow back before you can feel good again. Meth kills all that.

Maybe a meeting?

good luck-

leslie

I used about 1 1/2 years ago. I got pregnant, that's how I got off it. It was horrible, the withdrawls I mean. I have stayed clean every since, but sometimes it does sound good. To help me focus, to get my energy, lose weight. But then I think of how my husband looked to me when I was clean and he was using. It was terrible to watch him destroy his body and mind like that. I never want to put myself or my family through that again. Just keep strong, and take it one day at a time. Every day you don't use truly is a victory for you. Even though we don't know each other, I'm proud of you for making the choice and reaching out when you feel weak. That's the only way to beat it!

I used for 3 years and then began to manufacture for about 3 more years. I guess I got over it pretty fast once I went to prison. I tried to get clean and couldnt do it on my own. Congratulations to your staying clean, please hang on to that, prison aint nothen nice and if the feds get your name you could be in for a lifetime of problems. I have been clean for almost 3 years!! I dont remember having any withdraw. Currently I have no triggers or desires. I do not understand why but maybe it has to do with going to prison forever and the guilt I have because of what it has done to my family. My brother has lost his children and is now facing another 10 ys fed time. I hate the shit.

You hang on to your sobriety and cherish your family, they will not always be here.

I wish you all the luck in the world and will pray for you.

I've been clean (from meth and blow) for 3 weeks now. I know what you're going through physically and mentally. I'm 26 and have been struggling with addiction for nearly 10 years now. My boyfriend is currently in the hole for a dirty UA now and I haven't heard from him in days, when usually I get a letter every day, so I'm having a VERY hard time also. Still clean tho! So far so good...

I'm a recovering meth addict,ive been using since I was 10yrs old and now i'm 36, been clean and sober , doing a program since 11-05-02 , and it's been a long road ,i've smoked it ,snort it ,shot it ,any way i could .I've been addicted to lots of other drugs , but meth was my fav,anyways just to let you know it gets better,it takes time but you can do it .My life is so much better now ,don't get me wrong i still think about it , but i put God first and it works, plus i'm really involved with AA ,that helps alot .If you need someone to talk to PM me and maybe i can help.Just stay strong it's going to be o.k ******{HUGS}}}}

I just wanted to say something else about AA/NA being a cult, HAHA thats funny cuz thats what my ex used to tell me when i was going to meetings and in rehab back in '98 ,then when i got out of rehab after spending 6months in there i stopped going to meetings didnt get a sponsor when i moved out of town so needless to say i left the ex {GOOD THING }got my own apt. and started getting loaded again,he thought they were brainwashing me, cuz he was and he didnt want anyone taking that away from him,even my family.Now i will say i also stopped going to meeting then cuz i didnt like all the drama and politics going on in the meetings ,so that was my excuse not to go back cuz i really wasnt done getting high,it had to take like 3 more yrs out there ,and winding up in a mental insitution trying to kill myself,to come to my senses that this isn't for me anymore and i need to grow up,and i've got a beautiful 15 yr daughter that would be so lost without me ,so i went to a few meetings and found the ones were i can be me and be accepted for who i am, and i did more than 90 meetings in 90 days i practally lived in those meetings.I don't give a s**t what people think of me ,i love me today ,what you see is what you get,and i am loved today.My family couldnt even stand to be around me ,my parents would change the locks on their house like once a week,now i have a key and i'm trusted ,and i owe it all to the program of AA , and the willingness to stay sober today .May hat goes off to the ones who have done it on their own, but i couldnt ,and i can't ,I've tried .AA is not a cult ,all you do is just sit and listen to others just like you, who have a problem with drugs and alcohol no one forces you to be there besides the big bad judge :) But it does work if you want it to ,the 12 steps have changed my life completly . i was a lost cause and i tried everything and i found this is for me .Con grads to all the soberity on this post ,love to all of you and keep up the good work,May God be with with you all

Chipsgirl thanks so much for sharing a little about yourself!! Congrats on your recovery that is awesome and the way you honestly spoke of AA or lack of AA/NA is something I appreciate. I too was not someone who could stay clean and sober alone without some kind of ongoing treatment. I am a member of AA and I also can't continue my recovery without it. I need ongoing help on a daily basis to keep me from relapsing even if at first it's in the mind. This weekend I was around people who drank and I felt safe. I don't hang around it much but when I am I make sure that I am spiritually equipped to handle it and when I start to feel wierd, I give myself an out. When it's offered to me its an automatic no thank you and for years it was not the case.
Keep up with the good work sweetie, you are truely an inspiration to me and many others.:)

Thanks Chipsgirl for your story it is similar to mine only I ended up in jail for 6 months and had to lose everything including my dignity and self-respect before I got it. I am coming up on 11 months clean and I have to tell you I love my life today!! I do I am so grateful for the rooms of NA and AA like chipsgirl I tried doing it on my own terms and could not get clean for more than a couple of weeks tops. I need to be around people like me people who can understand what it is like to live to get high!! That is what my life was like I was no longer in control of my life Meth had complete control of my mind and body!!

Today I love myself and I know I am better than that. I have the love of my family back they too did not want anything to do with me 11 months ago wanted me out of their life for good and to be honest I could not blame them. I was not too be trusted my BF could not even trust me I would steal from him if I was given a chance!!

I miss my baby today he is in prison for another couple of years but the cool thing is is we have a relationship today better than I could have ever dreamed he tells me today he is proud of me on a regular basis!!

Just to give you an idea of how different my life is today I was not employable when I was high, today I have a full time job doing my dream job which is Web design, I am enrolled back in college to finish my degree and not only am I in a sober living house but I manage it!! My life is so full and rewarding today. I am a productive member of society today I pay my bills, obey all laws and live my life clean and sober.

Just wanted to let all you girls know that if this dope fiend can do it you all can too!! And to say I am so proud of all you guys who are doing it who are staying sober one day at a time it is hard that is no lie but know that if you need to talk or just need someone to listen to I would be more than happy to listen!! I love all you guys thanks to you all for sharing your stories

Pita McNasty

Hi girls i'm so proud of you pita and sunnie ,women like you show the ones that are hurting and having a hard time, that there is hope for all of us .It's well worth the out come , i too am a manager of a sober living,and own my own home ,have a great job that by the grace of God i did not lose due to this disease ,i got to buy a new {well new to me} car '97,i found a wonderful man that loves me for me, but most of all i have my sanity , which i dont remember ever having,all this is due to AA and God. I too spent ALOT of time locked up and i'll take my freedom ANYDAY.God Bless all of you ,and i will Pray for you ,stay strong girls and guys .Love to you all , Shannon ~aka~ Chips girl~he's locked up due to this disease~ I miss my baby :( ******{HUGS}}}}}

Many congratulations to both of you. Peace and love.

Congrads For Staying Clean.

I Just Have One Thing To Say. Take It One Day At A Time.

I work at a teen homeless shelter. Yesterday a girl came in who was 6 mos. pregnant, has never seen a doctor, her teeth were rotted out after 5 yrs. of using meth. She's only been clean for 3 days. I am wondering if anyone knows about toxic effects to her fetus or a good website.

www.kci.org (http://www.kci.org) is a good site.

I have never used meth, but I saw what it did to my brother. It turned him into someone I didn't know and frankly didn't want to know. He's struggled with it for over 10 years now, in and out of treatment over and over again and I'll stand behind him every time he needs me.
I aplaud all of you who are going threw this and your daily victories. My brother has been "clean and sober" now for over a year and his life has turned around. He's got a good job, a great lady in his life, and he's back to being the guy I "used to know".
It's all worth it.
Good luck to you all, and God Bless.

:) Congrats girl....My friend is in prison for his second time because of meth...I am very close to him and have been there for him since he went in...he has gotten a lot stronger and healthier. Of course it was hard for him and still is...it helps to talk...you should go to rehab or to a drug counselor....there are also a lot of helpful websites out there...chat rooms for recovering addicts...they might help you also....as for the mind...I see some change with him...he is forgetful about things he's known for years but is still the same ole person he was....good luck to you...I will shoot some prayers your way

Congratulations to all who are recovering addicts. I have been clean going on 6 weeks after one relapse. Meth was my drug of choice because of the power. When I was doing it I felt like I could conquer the world. When I was buying the makings I felt like I was smarter than the cops. When I was helping cook I felt like no one could stop me. When I was selling I had the power to control other's habits.

I've done meth pretty much every way possible besides shooting up. That's where I drew the line. Pretty crazy after everything else I was doing, huh? I was a lucky one, I never got busted. At times, I almost wished I had, maybe it would have put some sense in my head. Meth really screws your life up.

My short term memory is pretty much nonexistent, my lungs are cashed, my skin is still red and blotchy and scarred in some spots from picking, my only "friends" I have left are my dope friends and dealers. What I mean is I really have no friends left 'cuz my "friends" don't come around when there's no dope.

I am happy with my choice to quit even though I know the road is eternally long. To all you other "quitters" I'm here with you and I know what you're going through. God bless the broken road.

Congratulations on 6 weeks that is Awesome! Keep up the good work.

congrats all, have used some and seen nfirst hand effects, i knew from the start this stuff is bad, its sweeping the nation, ive done, weed, coke, and crack, but meth has got to be the worse, i watched my friends change too, and i just dont like it, besides ppl its made with poisonious substances from wal-mart, sorry i think id rather be hooked on heroin, oh well,
i've been clean from all drugs for four years as of 4/20 this year, and havent had a cig since about 6pm yesterday, man i want one, and only drink 1 to 3 drinks at a time, i just hope my sweety can get out and stay clean, luckly weed and cigs and alcohol are his only downfalls. any advice on ex-cons staying clean?
TTFN

Hi to all of you! I came over that thread some weeks ago and it made me think...I only used these plant stuff :cool: , nothing else so far, so I even didn`t know what "Meth" is? I spoke about it with my best friend (through our letters). He knew even who invented that drug! A german man, some time in 1930 or so. Strange. Well, my friend used meth, but only a few times I guess. Anyway. He is a poet and so this inspired him to another great strange poem. If you`re interested, I posted it today in the poem forum. Title Weird One. Enjoy ;) Ute

I've been clean almost 2yrs now again... It's hard but you have to learn to hate it. You can't be around it or people who do it. Drop your old friends, family, husband, boyfriend, who ever is doing it. That is if you want life. Crank is death. You become the living dead. The nightmares get better after about 6 months. It takes your body at least 2 years to begin to work right again. Your mind starts to clear in about a year and a half. Then you start to pick up the pieces.....if theres anything left to pick up.......and your not in prison. Rehab is good. When I went they didn't know what the effects of crank were but gave you a look at what the effects of cocaine had on the body and mind. Don't dwell on how the drug made you feel, it will bring on cravings. Good luck, and pray..........a lot.......

I have never used meth, But I do know first hand the damage "METH" can do to a family. My brother has used cristal for many years. He has verbally and physically abused my mother, father, sister and myself. He is not the same person he was before he started using. I used to idolize him. He was a professional Dirt Bike Rider and BMX'r. He made many covers of magazines and had countless sponsors. But it all went down the drain when he began using. I miss the person he was. He is now serving the last 2 months of his four year sentence, he is a 2nd striker. Im afraid of what will happen when he gets out. Will he hurt us? Will he hurt himself? Meth is an awful and destuctive drug. I want to congratulate all of you who are clean and sober! I encourage you to keep up the good work!

I am a recovered drug addict. I was damn near every day from the time I was 17 until I was 28. Heroin and X are the only two drugs I can think of that I haven't done. Everything else was used frequently and usually simultaneously, swallow, snort, smoke, or shoot it, it didn't matter. I stole from my family and friends, committed crimes to get it, ended up homeless living in abandoned buildings and eating my dinner out of dumpsters (if you time it right you can get the burgers they throw out before the dump the bleach mop water on it). I've been at rock bottom but never ever again. I now work for a major telecom company making good money and completing my degree.

For those of you who are reading this that want to quit or have already quit and need help or for those of you are desparately searching for a way to help your addicted love one's I would like to give you some information about a web site and a book that changed my life. The web site www.rational.org (http://www.rational-recovery.org/) and the book is named "Rational Recovery:A New Cure for Substance Addiction".

The book is written by Jack Trimpey who is a recovered alcoholic. If you take the time to read the information I promise you a light is going to come on for you. If you are an addict you know that your addiction is a beast. Rational Recovery will teach you how to kill the beast.

AA, NA, etc teaches that addiction is a disease over which you have no control. That's a load of crap. It's a choice you make and you do have control. I'm living proof of it every day.

If anyone would like more information please feel free to IM me. The best advice I can give any of you is that if you or your loved one is REALLY ready then buy the book, print off the web pages and send them to your loved ones on the inside.

God Bless and Best Wishes,
Mrs C

I only iused meth for about one year. And what a year it was. I went from using every once in a while, to using daily, to selling, to making in such a short amount of time. But on Feb. 23, 2005 I had ONE year of being 100 percent meth free! It's hard some times. You just gotta take it one day at a time. It will get better. Maybe check and see if there are any NA (narcotics anonymous) meetings in your area. Or even get an NA book. Support from others can be very helpful. Good luck to you. You'll be in my prayers!

I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Sweetheart, it will get better. I've never used, but, I have son in Montgomery County community corrections Rehab facility, now as we speak. And he's getting better every day. My boyfriend just this past friday was granted parole, after spending 18 mos in prison, after only 6 mos of using meth. It's not worth it all the way around. But, I promise, you will get better. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!

I have never used meth, I work in a detox center and I can say that is some bad stuff!!! People come in there so geeked up its unreal---some are so fried that they will never be right again. Its the worst stuff I have seen in my three yrs of working in detox/mental health.

ONE

I used and, I am clean now for 2 1/2 years and I am so proud of you babylove, that is a huge step in the right direction.

I think its a mental thing, I remember when I was younger I went on a 6 month mission using heroin. I took every single penny I got to spend it on that drug. I woke up one morning with my body shaking, bones hurting, sweating, my body was asking for it. I tell you, I looked in the mirror and realized how skinny I was and how ugly I looked. I cried and made my mother take out a ticket for me to leave the state, I remember the last bag I sniffed, it was on the plane. Yea, I was crazy enough to sneak it on the plane, only because I was high. But that was the last bag I sniffed. I kicked it cold turkey. It was the worst. But I did it. I knew that was not me, and I knew I had the strength to stop. I had to get away from those surroundings. And I returned when I knew I was strong enough to say no. And I tell you, people pushed it in front of my face and I kept saying no..............I remember this one guy kept telling me, come on for old time sakes showing me the bag, I got so pissed off I smacked it off his hands, the poor guy was practically crying picking it up from the floor. I just walked away and told him not to ever speak to me again. that was 19 years ago, and I have never touched it again and won't ever, especially because I hate it. You have to learn to hate it, in order to leave it alone.

Okay, this may sound stupid and I haven't read the entire thread but... What is meth? And what do you do with it? I've heard the word and read about "meth labs" but I really don't understand what this is.

tas, meth is short for "methamphetamine" a.k.a. crystal, ice and other slang names. It is a dangerous chemical version of speed. It is made from highly toxic chemicals -- you can visit www.google.com (http://www.google.com) and type in the word meth in the search string to get a lot of information on it. It is supposedly very easy to make at home so people who buy it don't necessarily know what is in it. A lot of stores have taken sudafed and other cold remedies off the market because that is the first ingredient needed to make it. Meth labs explode very easily. My advice is to stay away. It gives people an intense high then a deep deep depression, destroying the "feel good" brain cells causing people to take more to try to get the initial high. Please don't try it. I have never tried it but have educated myself about it.

A german man, some time in 1930 or so. The german man was Hitler. One of the many forms of making meth is called the Natzi method.

Don't worry Jaycie...not even thinking about it...I just didn't know what all the hoopla was about.

I'm glad you aren't even thinking about it because it is evil. Take care!

Mama Hen



Don't worry Jaycie...not even thinking about it...I just didn't know what all the hoopla was about.

:confused: :( :angry: DEAR BABYLOVE!TRUST ME ,IT DOES GET BETTER!! I WAS A 15 YEAR USER AND THE FIRST 18 MONTHS WERE THE WORST BEING CLEAN. THEY SAY IT TAKES AT LEAST A YEAR TO GET BACK TO "YOURSELF" AND THEY ARE NOT LYING!! I WENT THROUGH CAMPUS OF HOPE IN OMAHA :thumbsup: NEBRASKA AND THEY SAVED MY LIFE, AND BROUGHT ME MY SON BACK HOME AFTER BEING IN FOSTER CARE FOR FOUR YEARS AND MY PARENTAL RIGHTS BEING TERMINATED AND THEN BEING REINSTATED AFTER A YEAR LONG APPEAL:eek: THAT HAS NEVER REALLY HAPPENED IN OMAHA BEFORE. I WAS PROUD OF THAT AND I SCREWED UP & RELAPSED JUST DAYS AFTER SEEING MY SON AGAIN AFTER A YEAR. THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO GO TO INPATIENT:fb: IT WAS HELL AT FIRST, PLUS I HAD A NEW BABY BY THEN WHO WAS 6 MTHS OLD THAT I HAD TO LEAVE FOR 35 DAYS. BUT THE EFFECTS YOU ARE HAVING NOW ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL AND A SECRET ABOUT THE DREAMS, THAT IS JUST YOU WANTING TO USE, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS BEING "BACK THERE" I HAD A LITTLE EXERCISE I DID EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO BED (TAUGHT TO ME BY AN INDIAN COUNSELOR AT TREATMENT) I SAT ON THE BED AND THOUGHT OF EVERY BAD HORRIBLE THING METH DID TO ME, MY KIDS, MY FAMILY, AND MY HEALTH, & LIFE FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES AND THOSE DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES OF USING FINALLY STOPPED.YOU CAN WRITE ME ANYTIME IF YOU NEED TO TALK OR DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HELP YOU!! HANG IN THERE, IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? WHEN I SEE MY USING FRIENDS TODAY~THEY MAKE ME SICK, AND THEY MAKE ME SAD, BUT VERY VERY PROUD!! PROUD THAT I AM FINALLY GOING SOMEWHERE & THEY ARE STILL "THERE". I PROMISE THE FOG LIFTS AND THE SUN DOES RISE IN "METH FREE LAND" TRUST
SINCERELY YOURS,ROBIN ( SOBER: 2 YEARS TODAY!!!!!):p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :thumbsup: My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana[/QUOTE]

I have never used Meth but it has effected my life. My son's father was a user for years and finally got busted for having a meth lab. He got sentenced to 10 years. Now he hasn't been a father or in my sons life since my son was 5, he is now 13. His father chose a life of meth instead of a wonderful son. I give credit to those that get help and realize life is too short to mess it up, there are so many more ways to enjoy life! It's too bad that people have to go that far and be sent to prison before they stop. Besides hurting themselves, they hurt everyone around them. Out of this bust, 2 children that were in house are without a mother now, his sister let him into her home for this, and his son will never know him. He will be 21 when he is released. By that time, there will be too much time gone by I am afraid, he doesn't attempt to have any contact with him what so ever, but he is trying to get his child support reduced, I get a big $18.00 per month. I am angry, I am the one to answer the questions and look into my sons eyes. I am married to a wonderful man that loves my son just as his own and I am grateful he has a "dad". Something to think about, it effects everyone not only the user! Good luck to the ones that are trying to quit, and a big congrats to those that have stopped.

I supported the south american coke cartel in the 80s. ... Havent had a coke dream in about 3 years now. ... hmmm.

I put a needle, in my arm the first time at the age of twelve. The last time, I was 29 years old. That last time, almost cost me my life. I suffered a major cerebral vascular assault. I stroked on a massive scale.

I was blessed, with the care of one of the best nuerosurgeons, in the U.S. But, he had quit on me and wrote me off, as dead. In his words, he had done all he knew to do and could not stop the bleeding, in my brain. He told me to thank God that I had lived, not him, because all he could do was back away and pray.

They called me a miracle, all over the hospital, because even when I pulled through, they expected me to be a vegetable. Workers, from E.R. dropped by to see me, because they had to see for themselves that I was not only alive, but had memory, speech and reasoning skills. You have found someone, who will say that being left partially paralyzed was a blessing. I do know what I could have lost. A man only 35 or so was in there, after a stroke and I watched his wife and kids suffer, because he knew none of them.

Noone has ever loved crystal meth more than me. After 13 years, my stomach still ties up in knots, if I walk in someone's house and catch the smell, which I occasionally do. But, I do not want the crap for sure.

Now,let me explain something. As young as I started, I went thru 5 pregnancies, from 18-28. I did not use, when pregnant and there had been a 6-7 year stretch or more that I had not used at all, until my near death. The nurses said that my age was no surprise at all, they have 13 year olds, in for stroke far more than anyone would believe. A good friend's brother dropped dead, in front of the T.V. at 17 and a dear friend dropped at 30 years of age.

I do beg anyone, who would use to truly think. I have had too learn to walk again, just like a baby. And I played a beautiful red Ovation once. I lost a hand, so the guitar is gone, forever. And I have a really good limp. I am blessed to be where I am and most do not come out near so well, after a similiar brainbleed. I can in no way complain, but I can try to scare the hell out of others and pray they never share my fate.

I pray for you and ask you to please research this, if you doubt me. I judge noone, for using. I certainly have no right. Those, who I call my dearest friends still use. I pray for them constantly, because we have buried far too many, in recent years........

PLEASE KNOW AND BELIEVE DRUGS KILL!!!!!!!!!!
It is not worth it to get high........

Wow.. Eldon's Wife.. reading your post gave me chills.. I am glad you survived.. That drug is AWFUL!!! It is scary to think of little kids doing that.. my twins are 12 years old and I can't even fathom them doing anything like this..

Keep strong, good for you that the baby came first!! Do your very best not to do it anymore. Drugs do kill. I lost my only sister to an overdoze this last January 3rd. I knew one day I would get that phone call, But when she made it to her fifties I thought that part of her life was over. Boy was I wrong. It's really sad to lose someone to drugs. You can do this if not for yourself than for your child. You are in my prayers and I pray that it really is over with for you!!! I never got into drugs but I think it was beacuse I was too busy fighting my sister about it. Please don't let this happen to you. You have alot to live for!!!

Just finshed reading all the posts here. Just wanted to say to all who have used and are now clean CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! To those who are trying DON"T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!! My son is user has tried to quite but keeps going back. I see how much he changes when he uses. The only thing I can do is to pray for him and not give up on him.

Just wanted to pass on a link to a very supportive and informative website.

http://www.crystalrecovery.com/Links/MDF.html

Hey everyone! I was reading through some of the post's on this topic and I felt like I should respond. I was on crystal meth for almost a year the first time I got clean. When I was growing up both of my parents were addicts and they stayed addicated up until I was 18, I helped get both my mom and dad clean and I knew how bad this drug was. I always said I would never do drugs and I hated everyone who did. When I turned 18 my dad was the one in his addication and this time it was crack. It hurt me so bad because I always put him on a pedastool, he could do nothing wrong in my eyes. Well to make a long story short there was a big fight one day, I had my dad arrested for breaking my nose cuz that was the only way he would get clean. After that I felt like it was my job to support the family now so I took a job as a stripper. Needless to say by the time my dad came home, which was under 6 months, I was hooked on meth. I lost everything because of this drug. The parents I helped get clean turned their backs on me when i needed the help and everything I worked for my whole life was gone in the blink of an eye. I was pregnant and in an abusive relationship and still didnt think I had a problem. I used up until the day I gave birth to my oldest daughter. When they took her from me it was in a way a sigh of relife because I knew I would finally get the help I needed. I went stright from the hosptial to rehab, lived there for 6 months got my baby back in my custody, and stayed clean for over three years. I never had withdrawls, my using dreams were slim to none, and I had no desire to use ever again. Then one day I thought I ha it under control and was out with friends who were using and I thought what the hell one time wont hurt and who will know. Big mistake! I was hooked instantly. I lost everything but my kids in the matter of 3 months, and it was the worst time I had ever had using. I was able to hide my using from family and friends but I knew I had to stop before I had my kids takin away from me. Getting clean the second time was WAY HARDER then it was the first time. I had to kick on my own because if I went back into rehab everyone would know my dirty little secret. I thought I would never be "normal" again. I slept all the time and couldnt get up even if I had wanted to. That lasted about 3 weeks and then I was back to normal again. I told my husband that we had to get clean if we wanted a normal life and the day he got busted was the last day I used. I have been clean again for about three months now and I feel like me again. However my husband feels like he can't stay clean out here and that I should stay by his side no matter if he uses or not. Well we have seperated and its not easy, but getting clean never is. I will not let anyone help bring me down again, if I can stay clean out here while taking care of two kids and have him to worry about in prison than he can surely stay clean outhere. And just by him sayin he can't tells me he isn't ready and he hasnt hit rock bottom yet.

Congrats to everyone with clean time on another day clean, and for those who are thinking about getting clean get some help, its hard enough to kick meth, why make it harder by trying to do it alone.

Welcome to all the one's I have not met yet and thanks sooo much for sharing your stories. Some of your stories brought be to tears and tears of joy for hearing the recovery. Strangers chick your story was like telling my own. Temporarily loosing my oldest daughter got me clean and sober and if it had not been for what I went through i don't know if I would be clean and sober today. Drugs effect EVERYONE not just the addict but their families and loved ones, their kids and it eats at them as much if not worse than the drugs eating at the addict.

Congrats on your recovery strangers chick, eldon's wife, rsullivan kukos :clap:
:yay::yay::yay:

I just want to remind you all...there is a recovery chat on Friday nights starting at 8:00 California time and would love to see all you all there...if this night or time is not good for you please let me know and we could always re-negotiate the day and time. and remember just because you never used drugs or drank..You have loved ones or friends inflicted with this horrible disease so you do understand and the support is here for you too. :)

Congrats!...I have been there done that and wont do it again!!..I used for over a year....shoot I lost my love of my life to that stupid stuff..i have been clean for about 2 years..I didnt have any of those side effects you are having?.So i cant really help...i know all about those when you are on it though...WHAT A LIFE!!!
YUCK..i

Here it is, September 26, 2005 and after 6 years my husband has finally made it to the Kyle facility in Texas. This is his IPTC that he has do for 6 months. Well, it all started back in 1998, fall. I had been a occassional user of Meth, i guess you could say "recreational" user. I thought, hey, i can party on it but i can walk away at anytime. I could never understand the term "addict". Well, I met the love of my life in August of 1998. I could look at him and just melt. As a matter of fact, even today, it's the same. Anyway, I met him through my sister and brother in law. He and my brother in law went back a long ways. We started "partying" together, staying up all night on the stuff,talking etc. Of course after a couple of nights being up on it then you start seeing the paranoia and change in behavior. Anyway, i always thought, let him sleep it off, he'll be different in the morning. Never was is me, always him. Now, we were pretty much insepreratable. Except for going to our jobs. One night we were all sitting around talking about how easy it would be to just make it and how much money we would save. You know how it is, the last thing you think is "I'll never get caught". So, that's what we started doing. My husband, brother in law, brother, sister. All of us were really into it. In March of 1999 my husband and I married and moved to Lubbock. We were going to get cleaned up and start fresh. That didn't last long. It's hard when all of your best friends are doing it. Oh sure, occasionally cant hurt right? WRONG. I found out a month after we were married i was pregnant. He was marrried once before and was told he couldn't have kids. Therefore, i never thought about birth control. However, i found out that he was alot more potent than he realized. To make a long story short, he went back to Dallas for work, hooked up with my sister, brother in law and brother and got back into it. here i was pregnant, alone, hurting, sad. Now, of course, in Sept. 1999, his luck changed. He got busted on highway 360 in
Grand Prarie. Now, I could have walked away, probably would have been easier but you have to understand. He is the TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE! so, i decided at that time i was going through this with him. Now, he was previously incarcerated before we ever met for the same thing. Manufacturing. So, this was going to be a tough battle. All of the lawyers in the world couldn't get him off. The prosecution was going for Life. ( to set an example). Anyway, he was given a 30 year and 20 year sentence to run concurrent. Oh, there have been ups and downs. I've been raising our children (i have a 17 year old from a previous relationship but my husband has always looked at him as his own.) But through the grace of God we have made it through the ruffest part. Now, i will say, we still have some major roads to go over before he is home but we are on the down side of it. Moral is this: There is no such thing as recreational use. It will take you in so fast your head will spin. I've been clean for 6+ years. I don't have any desire to go back to the stuff. I keep to myself more or less. I focus on my family. My sister, brother are clean. However, my brother in law was busted and also after being released sent back for dirty UA's. I know one thing. I have to pray every day for my family and be strong. Stay away from anyone or thing that would tempt me. It does get easier as the years go by. Becca.:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Oh the nightmare of meth, been there done that. I've been clean since 1989 I did it for 8 months or I should say meth did me. In that time a popcorn crunal got stuck up by my tooth, I lost my tooth because poison rotted my bone at the root. I had a scratch on the top on my hand, got blood poisoning doctor had to pack it. Never mainline but got HCV my liver count was 379 a normal count is 35 to 45. It took me 5 days of sleeping when I stop my children just thought I had the flu, Poor babies taken care of themselves and their mama. Yes, meth take the person the drug is from the santan in my opinioun to destroy us. My advice to anyone who want to stop using meth is to admit first you have a drug proplem. Tell someone you trust, ask them to care for you during the first week. Sleep Sleep Sleep When your able to get up to use the bathroom without feeling like you will fall down and able to make yourself something to eat an smell the aroma of the food cooking from that moment on tell your self "I am a recovering drug addict" Learn that like your name. Say it to where you feel no shame from the words, because there is no shame in those words. I to am a recovering drug addict. I cannot be around drugs. I was weak once and could become weak again. I am a recovering drug addict. When you have acknowledge the truth to your mind, the body needs support than. Lots of vitiams minrals eat right, don't worry about gain weight because meth didn't make a person lose fat it was musel, so when you eat your regaining your musel fat was still there. Remember to in a female the drug stays in your fat cells so when you lose weight through burning fat you will feel system as if you were on meth. Don't be fooled thinking your jonesing. Your not its the fat cells releasing the drug. Then there is the emotional rollercoaster. The feeling if I just do a line I would stop crying. Remind yourself I am a recovering drug addict, I deserve a good cry, If those around you don't understand, tell them I am recovering drug addict and I am emotional and I need to cry its nothing against you. I would say probely two years went by before I stopped thing of meth everday. But with the Lord as my host I made it through. In 1996 I had a girlfried I didn't know she was on meth, one day I went to visit her and saw some on the mirror. Do you know my mind and body desired the evil stuff, all those years later. I said to the room of people I am a recovering drug addict I can not be here for I am weak. Praise God the holy spirit grabbed me up by my shirt collor and took me out that door, I say the holy spirit did because I wanted to do it. It was hard but once I got in my car and drove away I couldn't praise God enough. Every day when I put my fake tooth in see the scare on my hand the the years of every 6 months of blood work to check my liver level, I am reminded I am a recovering drug addict.
God bless you all who read this, and to those who are struggleing to stop using meth I pray the holy spirit pulls you from your shirt collor and gets you away. I am living testimony, I was told I had 1 year to live now its been 16 years being clean, I am still a recovering drug addict. Admitting that has saved my life it open the door for Jesus to perform.
Linda

I have been Bi-Polar since the age of 14, but was not "formally" diagnosed until a pre-sentence investigation before I went to prison, yet did not receive treatment.
My years, from the age of 13, have been spent drinking and doping, and jail time in between. I didn't try "meth" until one of my roomies in prison gave me some to try. (She was in for manufacturing...and yes you can get drugs in prison). When I got released, and moved to Cali, this is the drug I went searching for, and I then spent a few years in a very violent relationship, also due to meth and alcohol.
I now have slight, yet permanent, damage to one eye as the result of this mans meth induced violence, let alone what this did to my children.
I managed to get myself, and my children out of this and stayed clean for 7 years. During that time I found employment, and was very good at what I did, building a decent life for myself and my sons. I had a new/used truck, a motorcycle, a mobile home of my own...had even established credit.
When my sons were old enough and had moved away from home,
I started using again, and fell hard; another 7 years (6 years slamming) of licking the baggies, seeing how it corroded the metal of the razors... still doing it... knowing what it was doing to my body. Buying an eight ball...and then an hour or two later, buying two more...just out of fear of running out. When I started slamming it, I was no longer a "functioning addict"...sharing needles...unprotected sex...cooking my dope with beer if I had no water...not paying my bills...let alone all the lies, and stealing...lost my truck and eventually my job. At that time I had to borrow money from family to keep my mobile home, and kicked cold turkey...alone. This is also when you know who your friends are...they are not the ones you dope with!
My son thought if I came to Arizona and started over that would help. Trust me...just changing where you are is not the complete answer. It did not take me long to come in contact with new sources, and I was using again.
This time, I was using for days...and rode my motorcycle through a red light, right into a SUV. This accident broke me in half...and I almost bleed out twice. Then came the surgery, a month and a half in the hospital, months in a wheelchair... and then rehab...(all of which my family was there to help me through). This was when I then lost my mobile home.
Years later, I am still left with permanent physical disabilities,have to walk with a cane, constant pain, and meth mouth (insurance does not cover dentures), no drivers license, and huge fines and damages to pay.
I was lucky...knock on wood...after all the unprotected sex, sharing needles, and blood transfusions, (I worked in plasma donation...I know IV users donate), I am HIV free.
I have been "meth" free since 2002, but still struggle with the drug craving...and not just the drug craving, but also the memories of, the ritual of chopping and shooting, which I loved. (...one of my triggers).

So, if I can say anything to you...get treatment if you have any history of depression...teach yourself, "WHY" you started using, and what your "triggers" are. Stay constantly "aware" of that weakness, and be sure of this...your child will be affected even if you think you are able to maintain.
MY prayers are with you both.

Thinkink
Your story brought tears to my eyes and congrats on being clean. Huge feat that one day at a time you have overcome.

Being able to identify your triggers are half the battle.
An addict who shoots drugs is not only addicted to the drug, but to the needle, as well and even a simple blood test can bring o,n a trigger, but being able to recognize this will help you in, your journey.
Welcome to pto and I am very proud of you! As are your children

Thinkink, ... I wish you luck. ...life just sometimes sucks. ,

that is scary :eek: rsullivan!

I am a child of the sixties and seventies, we did every drug know to man and more. I have done Meth, several times as well as coke, crack and Heroin but never was addicted , I could always walk away and that has been many many years back. I smoked pot for 35 years and suddenly just stopped. It has never been something I craved. I have a brother that is a severe addict and has been for over 20 years and he looks old , yet is 5 years younger than I am. I have a cousin who is 8 yrs younger and has been an addict for 20 years and he looks 20 years older than me . He is the best person in the world but he is addicted. My husband is and addict , though he is still in denial . I lost a very good friend 3 years back he was a crack addict and why he waited until he was 53 to become one I will never know but he did and he had a bad heart and had a heart attack and died in jail before they even came back to take him to the hospital.
I wish you the very best!

I have a daughter who used meth. In short the meth took her straight to prison. She has a son who doesn't even know her or me for that matter. On meth my daughter signed a power of attorney over to a stranger.This woman now is trying to keep my grandson. She was able to influence my daughter while she was methed out. I am fighting for my grandson in courts. I hate meth, I hate everything about it!! All I can say is, don't use it or any other drug for that matter, and if your using now, stop and seek HELP before it ruins your life.

and might I add

....and the lives of the people you love

I did a fair amount of speed, and that's what my honey is headed to FPC for. I didn't have such a hard time getting off of it, maybe becuase I didn't like it that much. I just did it because I would do anything to get out of my head. Drinking was my main thing. We have both been clean for nearly two years. Now listen to what I tell you, because it's true. This first part getting clean will be tough. It might even take a year. But if you stick it out, and especially if you get a support group, I go to AA, you will not BELIEVE how much better your life gets. Life is so much better today than I ever could have imagined, I can't tell you. I used drugs and alcohol, sometimes a lot and sometimes not so much, for nearly 20 years. That said, also consider seeing a doctor. Some people apparently experience chemical imbalances involving mood chemicals such as serotonin, following withdrawal from heavy meth use. I think I had that after withdrawing from heavy cocaine use when I was 19. A doctor may be able to help. Good luck to you.

I fell face first in a bag of speed at 22, stayed there a year or so, been clean 14 years now.

I am new here but have browsed the forums. I was in TX and 3 murders of loved ones. I never would have used drugs but I did. First it was pot then crank. My kids my boyfriend and I all did drugs. We moved to ND where I am from almost 8 months ago. We were all clean for about a month. My bf went to the bar and some guy introduced him to meth. Well to make a long story short...my bf wrote 3000.00 worth bad checks to get meth, my son was almost dead and my ex and I called an