I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Tana, I have not used Meth, but sister did and from what she has said she used for a while too like a couple of years. She did change a lot, she lived with my mom and by the time she was 17 was living with her bofriend we didn't know what was going on withher she wanst her self at all. We figured drugs but didn't think it would be crank. She is just now adimitting to us she used and is clean now. After she got away from all those people inculding her husband who used crank too. But she seems to be doing good she is more like old self.but in some ways she is differnt. She hasnt said anything about the nightmares or cravings but I will ask her for you.
I hate that you are going through this and having such a hard time with it. I am very glad you decided your unborn child was more important than the drugs. I hope you can find out the answers you want and are able to stay clean for good. I have heard it is a horrible drug to come clean from. I wish you luck and you (and all addicts) are in my prayers. God bless you.
Brandi

Tana, I really hope that you stay away from meth. I'm praying for your recovery.
I've never used meth or any drugs.

You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!

That is good that you only used for months, some people go for years and still don't stop. I believe that if you are experiencing pain maybe a counselor would be helpful. There could be underlying issues here which is in my opinion why people even turn to drugs. Once the pain killer is removed you must deal with yourself and that means dealing with whatever it is that caused you to continue to use in the first place.Good Luck on you journey.You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!

Great!!!!!!! Good for you!!!! I have not used meth, but I have experiences with people on it. It is a hard drug to get off. I have seen the devastation that it has wrought in people's lives and it will age you real fast as well as the people you love as they stand helplessly by and watch it take it's toll on you. It is an addiction that is hard to break, but, it can be done. Sounds like you are on the road to doing just that! Best wishes and prayers out to you!

I was doing crstal before crystal was even known...I am and was a speed freak for more years than i care to count and meth was my drug of choice...it took me years and years to get clean and more years after that to recover...I hope you have yourself a good support system,...as much as i hated "meetings" they and the people there are what got me thru. Its going to get better...you gotta hang tuff and stay close to the people who love you no matter what...i still have a drug induced nightmare now and then...and i have been clean for over 10 years...pm me if you need to talk...keeping you in my prayers

Congratulations on getting clean I really truly hope you stay that way. I was a speed queen from way back when. It consumed my life and I thought I'd never get out from under it. It is such a destructive thing to do your mind, body and soul. I will never ever be the same from my many years of use. After using pretty steadily for about 10 years I finally laid it down about 7 years ago with a short relapse about 4 years ago. It is so strange to me to know I once liked the feeling it brought me. I am so glad that feeling that way is behind me. It is a one day at a time thing. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me...

Stay Strong,
Patty

Its been about 15 yrs. since I snorted my last line of crank. That's when I moved outta state and away from it. We never bought big quantities and I remember we used it all up until it was gone. I remember force feeding, and hoping and praying to go to sleep. I also remember the urges - they were strong, if there was any more meth in the bag I had to do it until it was gone. It kept calling me, we would search the bars for more. Anyhow since I've been away from it if someone offered it to me now I would turn it down. But that's what worked for me - to move away from my drug infested neighborhood. It was everywhere and that was too much temptation for me. I moved outta state to a little country town where the worst they do is smoke a little home grown pot. Best wishes and keep strong, you can do it. :)

everyday is a struggle to get through because I cant focus on things for long periods of time like I used to. The drug gives you all this energy and ability to get things done a lot faster and easier. MY mind is so messed up, its will take years to repair the damage thsts done and the nightmares and sleepless nights are the worst part. Its hard and embarressing to talk about but I feel like I can be myself here and no one will judge me because there are people who have been through it either themselves or your man or family or friends. A good support system is always the best.

SPEED KILLS "DONT METH WITH IT"

My ex just got busted for running a meth lab. HELLO, can we say STUPID! I guess he also was using. I havent seen him since then since he is in TX and i am in WI. But my friends have been telling me that he constantly looks "geeked" and shakes. Also, I should mention that he got blown up in the meth lab. (Somone enter with a lit cig so I am told) and he had second and third degree burns, he also had his lungs burned internally from the ether that was being used. I cannot understand why people could stand to use something that contains such deadly things. I am not here to judge and will support anyone who "rehabs" themselves. I guess my ex also will be going through a drug treatment program to get a reduced sentance for having to plead guilty to possesion of 99 grams of meth. That is a lot isnt it? I dont know these things... I hav ealso heard it is a very hard habit to kick, and would strongly recommend detox/rehad support group etc for anyone attempting to release this evil from their bodies. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Don't be embarrassed, it will get easier ... and about your mind. I did so much drugs in my teens - that was the 60's (i.e, acid city) and drugs in my 20s & 30s ... guess what? I have straight A's today in school, the only one in my class. See? You will be fine, hang in there and hang tough! :)

Relapsing after the baby is born is gonna be the hardest thing not to do and the scariest thought, also my fiancee has been struggling with this drug since he was 15 and hes 21 now, keeping him sober through support will help.

Different people handle it in different ways. Some people have a harder time than others. I use to love meth,crack,pot,coke,blotter...you name it...I did it. Now I don't judge people who do it but I discovered that I can't help those who are actively doing it. I've tried. They don't listen. Your on your way. You will look back and hate it. I don't have any reactions or side effects but some people do. It's been many many years since I did any drugs. I just enjoy a clean mind now.

hey girl good for you!!! I have a year and 8 months now... clean! It is a good feelinggirl.. keeo your head up hun. The cravingwill go away soon! do you smoke cigarettes? that always helped me! Ok much love girl if you ever need to talk PMMe ok!

Laters

Hey girl,

I to am trying to get clean. But from methadone not meth. I think when I lived in Texas I tried it maybe twice. ( if crank is the same thing) only I didn't like it. We all have our Drug of Choice. The sad things is. That they not only enter our lives but the ones we love. I got clean for a baby 14 years ago. And he is just perfect.
But, right now I am stuggling from the withdrawals. Which also last a long time. I wil be glad to post when I have 3months. I only have 11 days. Which is a big step for me. I am an old junkie. This time I had almost 6 years clean then here came the devil. And the thoughts that this one time want hurt. Well it did. And now I and my family suffer from my addiction. I am proud of you. I doesn't matter what drug. A drug is a drug is a drug......doesn't matter which one. They are all tuff. But, as the days past into months your mind will clear and your body will heal.
My prayers are with you and God's speed on you recovery.
Get to the meetings they really do help........Kat

Hi I am also a recovering Meth addict . I have been clean for 2years but i have had a few slips which i am not proud of. In order to stay clean i had to move away from everyone I know. I didnt' just use meth though i used Crack, Coke whatever would make me stay awake for days and a time. My husband dealt whatver he could get his hands on to support my habit. We lived a terrible life people in and out of our house 24/7 our poor children i hate to even get into that. But know that we are clean things are much better. Life will get meaning back and you will find something to fill the void in your heart that you think you will never fill. TRUST ME i had the same feeling. My husband is currently serving a 10 year sentence for dealing Meth and cocaine. Have you tried to go to church believe it or not if you ask GOD to deal with it cause you can't he will. It will make your shoulders lighter and he will guide you in the right path. just believe and he will help you. i wish you all the best of luck.. GO TO MEETINGS It works , if you work it , its worth it

I teach young children whose parents are drug users and the parents have no idea how it is affecting their poor helpless children. Please for the sake of your child hang in there!!! It is worth it in every way. You are so blessed to be able to have a child of your own. I am so happy that you have made a life changing decision for yourself and your child. The happiness you will find could never compare to things in the past. The best road to take is not always the easiest and the easiest road to take is not always the best. You can do it!!! Pray and talk to people !! I am praying for you and a healthy baby :)

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been clean for a year this month. I got clean just a few weeks before I got pregnant with my son. I was Very involved in a "lab" that got busted days after I made my decision to get my life together. God was watching over me!! I used for over 2 years I think. Fortunately I didn't have very many sideaffects from it. The only thing that is really noticable to me is memoryloss. My mom gets so upset when I don't remember things that happened or that I did. I just have to remind her it was the drugs.

Just this week I had my very first "urge" to pick up the phone and make that call. Ihad the phone in my hand, but I looked over and saw my 3 month old son sleeping and it brought me back to my senses. In my situation I miss the environment more than I miss the drug.

If you are still having urges and bad dreams then I don't think it's a good idea for you to try to do this on your own. The best thing to do is find a support group. I have learned that you can't help someone get clean until they are ready. You definitly have to "change your playground and your playmates". That's the hard step. The only friends I had when I started using were users. My other friends couldn't stand to be around me. Just be strong and remember we are all here for you. If you ever need anything you can PM any of us.

I have never used meth before but my recently exboyfriend does. I am on the other side of how it ruins things. He is a very moody person, very unruly and just down right mean. We have a daughter together and I have an older daughter from a previous relationship and I told him until he gets help that he IS NOT going to be around me or my girls. Its all up to him now. I love him with all my heart but I love myself and my daughters more. I would support him if he wanted to get help he is a former herion addict that for some reason let me help him get help for that. Then he started doing meth. I honestly believe his mind is out of there and as much as I would like to help, I cant until he decides to help himself. He doesnt even realize what he is doing. It is scarey. I dont even think he remembers these last years of our relationship. That hurts!!! Then I find that everyone that loves him they are the bad people in his life and everyone that uses are "Good People", they can do no wrong but the loved ones he finds everything wrong with. I cant believe he doesnt see that. SO, to all who have cleaned there acts up I thank you so much for doing that. YOU and everything you do does matter and everything you do does affect everyone around you. If your miserable so are they.~~~~~ Congratulations to the clean and sober~~~~~

Babylove!!! I am so happy that you are not a user of meth anymore. I to used meth with my fiance. He got caught and I didn't. So i stopped right then. It is so addictive that he started selling to support his habbit and then cooking to support his habbit. He is in prison now. We have a 2 year old son, and I haven't touched in in 4 years. I was not an addict, I didn't crave it, I think I only did it cause that's what all the people did that we hung around. SO, my advise to you......don't be around people that do it or talk about it. Chris still has dreams and still shakes. He won't admit it to me, but I think he still craves it. He is in a rehabilitatio prison and is doing very well. You should try going to some classes about this. Talking to others with the same problem may help. I will keep you and the baby and your fiance in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to PM me anytime. (((HUGS))) to you,the baby,and your fiance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks to everyone for all their prayers and support I need it a lot and it really helps reading the stories you have all told me and i hope more people could tell me their experiences also.

:cuffs:
I started using meth when I was 14 years old, I met my fiance through my deals and we hung out with the same people. Meth destroyed my life, I quit for a year I had 2 jobs, a brand new Honda Civic , and everything I ever wanted. Then one new years it was put out in front of me and I relapsed and I got into it again BAD I went from a size 18 to a size 9 in 2 months. I over dosed 2 in a years time, It took me losing everything for me to realise that it wasn't worth it. I lost my jobs, my car, my fiance,my house, my family , jail time, and almost my life because of it. Well my SO went down and I've been clean since," 8 1/2 months." That felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had a choice the man I love or a doped up life. I now am a full time student trying to get our life back on track . My fiance may have 8-10 years ahead of him but we both see it as our wake up call. and we thank GOD because of it ..

Congratulations to everyone who is struggling with this addiction. High praises to those who have kicked the monkey off thier backs.

I just want to let you all know that it can be done. I never used Meth, but am now 21 years cocaine free.

You are all held in the highest esteem. I am so proud of y'all!!

JJT

HaHa....I don't even know what meth looks like let alone tryed it! I never really hear anything about that in Canada......but I'm sure we have it here too?????

Be very proud of the fact that your clean today. As a alcoholic/addict in recovery for 18 years now, the struggle to stay clean is easier than in the beginning, but there are times that I think hard about getting just a "hit". Maybe it's a good thing I have alot of bills, I have nice stuff and keep telling myself I don't want to lose it. I just can't afford to mess up and lose everything I've struggled for all this time. Keep up the good work girl....I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I've been clean for about 7 years... It's really hard work, trust me, I've been there... but stay strong... life only gets better...{{{huggs}}}

the biggest challenge is chosing your friends wisely and having enough courage to say no to people you feel really are not going to be a beneficial part of your sober recovery because once you have been caught up in that drug world for so long those kind of people are the only friends you know. Changing cities will really help and even states. Ron and I have decided to move from East Mesa to Phoenix and eventually out of state. I know it will be a huge change and hard at first but together we can do it.

I was clean for two weeks until tonight.... I know exactly what you're going through. That was one of many attempts to quit. I have been high for 5 years now. PM if you need anything or want to talk!:)

it gets better.....pretty soon the dope dreams will afford you some gratitude, upon awakening, that it's only a dream and not reality.......(some times I have dreams I am in a meeting~smile~ most of us have drinking/using dreams for, I guess ,ever

I have spent 22 years in addictions, about 8 total years (on and off) addicted to meth.

If you are having a hard time still, you may want to talk to a doctor and get on some medications. You may have other problems than just Post Acute Withdrawal.

I am right with you.... I am now AGAIN back on the wagon - the longest I've made it so far was 29 days... I see what it is doing to everyone around me and to myself. I know that if I want the things I truly desire in life - I have to let it go. If not - I will not only lose myself and my family, I will lose my best friend who is in for 180 days due to it and won't be able to be around it, my hunny is clean now and he has to walk away from everything he knew before he went in or he will just end up back in - including me if I don't get my shit straight. It is a bitch to clean up from.... but I gotta do it. The difference for me this time is now I quit talking about it and I am now getting active about getting and staying clean. I have gotten rid of all my "things", dropped contact with all that are still using as they will just drag me back in right now, I quit staring at my recovery workbook from lifering.com and am now actually working it, I read my one day at a time from NA each and everyday..... I have the desire again.... sure it is easy to say as I only have a week under my belt this time.... but here's to my 30 days - then my 90 and so on and so on... better yet... here's to staying clean TODAY. Good luck to you - it is a long hard road.... but the end of this road is true freedom....

Babylove,
Girl I understand what you are going through not from personal use but because I went through all of that with my man. When I first met him all he did was smoke bud , but gradually he fell back into old haibts and started with the meth again.:(
When he was on it I hated him:angry: . He was a totally diffrent person. When he was on meth I was being everybody , lying , sneeking aroung and to him I was being funny style with my ways.When we/I would be going to sleep:sleepy: he would wake me becuase he would be hearing noises:shake: or he would said that he would see demons:fb: in our room.He finally got his head out of his a** and relized what it was doing to himself but also to our family . He has now been clean for 5 months , and I am very proud of him:) .
I never used meth , but I did use speed , for about 2-2 1/2 years , but I am now clean for 3 years . If people were to ask me if I regret it , I would honestly have to say no because it was a learning experience for me and what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.Some of us have to go through things like think I guess to learn and grow !
But you deserve a :hifive: for acknowledging you had a problem and deciding to quit not just for yourself but for your baby.Good luck and don't give up nomatter how it is. If you ever need to talk PM me sometime. Keep us Posted!

I am also a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. I quit all drugs 7 years ago and alcohol 3. Meth was never my drug of choice cuz it always made me sooo sick but I did do it for a long time. As for drugs and alcohol I too had to cut all ties, friends boyfriend everyone. I even moved to a different town cuz you cant even be in a place that you know where to get it cuz its so easy to say oh I'll just stop by and see if they have a little bit. People say you shouldnt run from your problems but if you have to run until your strong enough to say NO then so be it run forest run. I can go to my home town now without even thinking about drugs, without wanting to go to the bar I can even hang out with old friends cuz I am strong enough to say NO.

I have been clean for almost 5 months now. Its been hard dealing with the strong after affects, my unstable mental illness/ personality disorders, and my fiancee in prison. I have started to taste it in my mouth as of late. I can see my self smoking it or snorting it and it takes me back. I also find my self inadversitly grinding my teeth, which was always my nasty habit when I was high. I am afraid that when my daughter is born my taste for it will grow to strong and overtake me to the point that I make myself sick without it. My fiancee will be out by then and hes an addict too, I cazn only hope we can be strong for each other and that some classes will help. Will this ever end?
Tana

((((hugs))))
Congrats on your 5 Months!!! that is an amazing feat. It sounds like you are going through a period right around 5-6 Months which is common to have what you are describing called cravings. I am not sure if you belong to any group or not, but I would
highly recommend some type of 12 step support group. NA- Narcotics anonymous.
This support will help you get through the cravings that will come and go and
I am not sure if they will ever fully go away because even after 7 1/2 years of recovery I still once in a while still get cravings, but I have learned and picked
up tools that get me through rough spots.

Keep up the good work.

Congrats on making 5 months!! I hope I can make it there... it seems lately I do good to make it 5 days!! But it does give me hope to see others who are going through similar... unless you've been there specifically with this demon you don't understand it... sucks. I've done other things before and been around people who have and this one is all its own..... With a 98% return rate it seems the odds are stacked against us... but when I see those who have and are recovering from it...it speaks louder than statistics!! Congratulations to you and I wish you the very best. I hope one day I can join the ranks!! Fingers crossed!!

I am an ex offender from texas and went down for meth. I can tell you that before i went to prison i weighed 99 lbs and am 5'4" not good. but I thought i looked great. My ex was a cook it was everywhere. When I went to prison and got my head back on i realized just what I had done. Well i ask not to be paroled back to my home because of that reason and guess what that is just where they sent me. So once again it was there everywhere I went to my parole officer and ask to move but before i could get out they busted the house and once again i was caught up in the mess. Luckily my parole office kept me out of prison but I am doing a 3 years probation after doing my parole. Nothing is worth your freedom NOTHING not love not promises NOTHING and that is what you will lose if you start again. Move forward and be a mother your child can be prous of and always remember where you came from and get help with the problem that took you to drugs and there is one believe me you just have to get into counseling to find out what it is, good luck and god bless

First let me say...I am VERY proud of you, I too am a recovering addict! I promise you it will eventually get better, meth affects everyone differently so, maybe you should seek professional help, they will be able to determine the best method for your recovery. I sincerely hope you are not anywhere near anybody that chooses to use, putting it down and leaving it alone is the hardest part. The urge is strong, it controls your will. I had to leave all the "old" friends and the "old" places just to stay away from it. I hope you have a strong support group, because love, you will need it.
I will pray for you and your baby, PLEASE PM if you wanna talk......

Relapsing after the baby is born is gonna be the hardest thing not to do and the scariest thought, also my fiancee has been struggling with this drug since he was 15 and hes 21 now, keeping him sober through support will help.
I am a recovering crack addict and when I found out I was pregnant I tried to quit and relapsed a few times during my pregnancy and went to treatment during my last tri-mester with true intentioions for success, I had hit rock-bottom. In all the world I never thought I would hurt my unborn child in that way, of course that was before I picked up the pipe for the first time. Everyone said my challanges lie ahead when the baby is born. That baby has been a miracle and my blessing from God. I still think about using but all I have to do is look at that face and my urge goes away. Don't get me wrong I have to work at it to by going to meetings..... I know if I relapse, I will loose my precious little girl, the most important thing in my life and I will fight those deamons with everything I have. I have been clean for 11 months and am very lucky to have a beautiful, healthy baby.

I tried meth once when I got out of highschool about 15 years ago and had an allergic reaction to it and vowed I would never put anything up my nose ever again including cocaine which after the meth experience I was scared to death to ever try, I kept that promise not to put anything up my nose, it took me 13 years to come accross coke and so I thought smoking wouldn't be that bad to try once or twice......

I wish you the best of luck, hang in there. A program does work, you just have to go - please feel free to PM me if you need to talk, vent or need someone to listen.

I hope you are strong enough to stay away from meth. If not for yourself at least for your baby. My boyfriend's legal problems all have to do with meth in one way or the other. He's been bangin meth since he was 15 (he's 21 now). I HATE THAT DRUG. It is evil and people don't understand that the first time you do meth is the only time you will ever get that "high", from then on you just have to keep doing more and more of it hoping to get that first high once again. I am 24 and am very proud to say that I have never done a single drug in my life (even though some say smoking is a drug.) I recomend getting the book "Clear body, clear mind" by L. Ron Hubbord. My boyfriend finally got clean because of that book. It tells you what you need to do to get the meth out of your system. Most people think that once you stop doing it, it's gone but in reality it isn't and it stays in your system and thats why people relapse.

If you want the book, I have a copy that belongs to my boyfriend and will send it to you. PM me if you'd like the book or just to talk.

Congrats on your being clean and I hope you stay that way. God bless.

Thanks everyone for believing in me and I will keep all those still struggling in my prayers and hope for the best..love you all :D
Tana

My first wife and I did meth with her brother in law. He was the meth monster. Meth tore our relationship to hell. Speed freaks have a hard time communicating and we both turned into monsters. Meth sent me to prison for robbery. 10 out of the last 14 years of my life has been spent paying the consequences for my meth habit. We used the needle, and I'll be affected for the rest of my life.

I've been clean since 1/19/90, but it wasn't easy. I really think it was more mental than physical, even though I battled physically too, and still am after all these years. I take life one day at a time.

Meth caused us to rob, steal, lie, lose jobs, lose friends, and eventually we lost each other. My brother in law was in and out of prison, and in 1991 he made a man deep throat a shotgun and pulled both barrels. He was sent to TDCJ-ID for 25 years, and after serving 10 flat he died of cancer in his spine. All of his hair and teeth were gone, he looked like an old man at 48.

I am a firm believer that the 12 step programs saved my life. Step one taught me to realize I was lost and outta control, step two took awhile. First I came, then I came to, then I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore my sanity. Step 3 is spiritual, and for those who don't believe in God, you can still get to know g.o.d. Good orderly direction. Spend time in the group, trust the group conscience! Talk or share. Allow time for the demon to go away. Life isn't fair, and I've never read anywhere that it is supposed to be, but there is life after meth.:cool:

[QUOTE=babylove]I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months.
Babylove,
I was addicted to meth, for years! It completely destroyed my family and (nearly), destroyed my life! :shake: I was a real mess! I wanted to commit suicide and I wanted to hurt anyone that tried to help me. It is a horrible drug! (and although) it "NEARLY" destroyed me... operative word here is... "Nearly"... it didn't!!! I survived this horrible nightmare! It took me over 3 years to recover (completely). And although the withdrawl symptoms are bad! I believe that you can get through this ordeal. I had used other drugs (as well), mainly Cocaine, but when I tried meth, I fell in Love (Horrible,:angry: but true statement). I tried to go "Cold Turkey" and felt like I was going to die! But little by little, I started wanting it less & less. As I recovered I became very desprssed so, Doctors prescribed 7 Anti-Depressants & 3 Anti-Psychotic medications, the medicines worked for a little while, but not for long! The only way that I (personally) found relief, was by turning to God. I had nowhere else left to turn and no one seemed to understand what I was going through. Only then, was I able to find "real relief". When you feel at your lowest (know in your heart), that this is part of the "process" of getting clean and know that you will survive. Keep yourself busy and be around people, as much as possible (yeah! that is easier said than done, huh!:rolleyes:) Believe me, I know!:p But it is the best thing that you can do for yourself! (Now, this is going to sound kinda dumb!) but (if your not doing so already) try keeping a diet that includes lots and lots of fruits and veggies and taking a good multi-vitamin. This also helped my overall system get back "on track". Sugar was something that I craved (in massive quantities), when I was recovering (but try) to keep away from any form of sugar. If you have a good friend that you can confide in, call them if (and or) when you are feeling "weak". Its hard but not impossible to survive this, addiction. I will be praying for you and I know that you can make it through this! Don't Give Up!:thumbsup: Take Care!

Congrats on your recovery and welcome to PTO, I really relate to your experiences to meth (and sugar :D)

I'm 3 1/2 years sober after riding that addiction train for roughly 6 years. Eddy's in for manufacturing, for 8 1/2 to 13 years. I've done a lot of different drugs - meth is the only one that ever grabbed on and I couldn't shake, no matter how bad I wanted to quit. It took getting so far gone on the crap that I was craving health and wellness and sanity for me and my family more than I was wanting the dope. Since he was a cook it was available 24/7 anytime I wanted, as much as I wanted. I got sick of it. I wanted to feel normal again, and I just quit. Well, I can't say I "just quit", what I did is leave with the kids and begged Eddy to stop what he was doing. He wasn't quite at that place yet though, and several months later he was busted. I never went to treatment or even NA....the one time I tried before, I relapsed hardcore after 3 months. Just wasn't ready. Now I've moved far away from the HUGE circle of friends/co-users/customers that we had, and I choose who I associate with very carefully.
The withdrawal period was one of severe depression/anxiety/cravings/fear. I still have many effects of having been addicted to such a powerful, insidious drug. My memory isn't what it was. My ability to communicate thoughts verbally isn't what it was. I am an administrative assistant for a living, and deal with professional people on the phone and in the office daily. Sometimes I'll form a rational thought in my head, open my mouth, and stumbling bumbling nonsense comes out. It's like something's been short-circuited in there. I work on this all the time and am slowly starting to improve, but I have to really concentrate when I speak.
My creativity is shot, as is my imagination. I cannot make plans without writing them down everywhere and having a couple of people remind me, my memory is terrible! I also have a touch of agoraphobia, which was WAY worse in my first year or two of sobriety...I couldn't fathom holding a job where I'd deal with "the suits" of the world. I still have a morbid fear of law enforcement which I'm slowly overcoming.
I'm terribly moody yet, but compared to where I was even a year ago I've made huge strides there as well. Recovery is happening but it's certainly slow.....
Oh and one more thing. Meth users get skinny. Well I was thin to start with, so you can imagine - anyway, since I've been sober I've put on 50+ lbs that absolutely will NOT come off no matter what I do. I exercise, I diet. Still it stays. A friend of mine told me that meth will completely screw up the metabolism. You are literally starving yourself on meth and your metabolism like all other body processes, is jacked way up. You get off the meth, and the metabolism plummets in its activity level and it's preserving all the calories you take in. It takes a LONG time for the metabolism to realize that it needn't be in "survival" mode, hanging onto all those calories, and it will even itself out. I sure hope so, I'm a size 14 to 16 when for years, I was a 5/6 without even TRYING (and less when I was spun all that time).

Congrads on three months.. that is great.. hold on for the ride of your life ,, what you are experiencing is very normal when detoxing off the drugs.. i too could not put sentences together when i first got clean 12 years ago .. now clean/sober 11years.. i've had my relapses.. and i had to hit my own bottom ... my love was heroin.. and i enjoyed meth.. however it was not that popular with my crowd or area .. of hangin out.. ONE DAY AT A TIME.. baby..


Peace
Donna

I appreciate everyones stories and prayers and gratitude. It really helps me in the long journey I have ahead.

A warning for all current meth users: My 30 yr old brother has a condition directly related to his previous meth use. His brain is deteroriating and there is no way to stop it. He has had a stroke. The doctors say that within a couple of years he will be a vegetable and he has 2 little kids. This stuff is poison, literally. When I was a teenager, meth was my recreational drug of choice. I am drug free, as an adult. Only take advil and benadryl. You can kick the habit!

This friday the 26th will be my six months of being clean. :D I am more proud of myself everyday and I continue to educate and speak about my experiences to people who use or may end up using. I feel its god's intention for me to be an educator and help save lives. Thats why I have decided to become an advocate for cleaning up people. I plan to use my experience and the experience of the people who were my "friends" at the time, to show young people that drugs really do destroy dreams.

I noticed some of you mentioned NA/AA. I wanted to warn you that AA/NA is nothing more than a cult....and statistics show that addicts that do not go to AA/NA have just as good a recovery success as those that do, meaning it doesnt work.
A big thing that bothers me about the 12 step program is it teaches you that you are powerless and makes you group dependant.
You are not powerless... I was a heroin addict for 13 years and beat it on my own...I tried for years in AA/NA and it didnt work...
They told me I wasnt clean if I was taking methadone treatments and I listened to them and tapered off the methadone which caused me to relapse back into heroin because I was so physically sick...so their Bull almost cost me my life..
Websites deleted by Moderator

You are right scarstruck on the fact that aa/na is NOT for everyone.. In my area .. aa/na is not a cult.. the door swings both ways.. no one asks for nothing your there on your on FREE will.

Congrads on beating your heroin addiction.. that is a MOTHER. i know a few people who do not use the 12 step programs and have kicked on their own. I do agree also that some people in the GROUPS.. need to mind their own business and NOT JUDGE someone if they are using methadone/or medication that is prescribed to them.. instead of pretending their DOCTORS..

Some people use the aa/na .. groups as a social outlet now that they are not in bars etc.. and some find a sprituality they may have never had before in their life.. IT IS EVERYONES choice on how to live clean one day at a time!

Peace
D

(((HUGS))) to you all. And I wish you the best in your recovery !! :dance:

I too am a recovering meth user. Me and my bf. And I used hard for about 5 years and he used hard needle and all for about 15 or so. It is getting better for me now I have been clean and sober since i got arrested on June 16, 2004. And to be honest I dont think i would have stopped if it wasnt for me and him getting arrested. he is doing 5 years at 85% for that and other cases he had open and for prison priors and a strike so he got socked real bad i got 6 months and did half time since it was my first offense.

Anyway enough about that I am here to tell you hun if you work a serious program like i mean going to meetings getting a sponsor and actually doing the steps your life and your well being will get better and that is a promise. When i first got in here I had lost my freedom, my house, my job, my sanity and was financially broke. Now that I have 6 months clean I was able to geta job that I love, i have a roof over my head, I am going back to school to earn my degree and my life although sad without my baby is getting a hell of alot better and I seriously owe it to NA and AA.

Without the program I dont know where I would be today. And I am sorry if it sounds like I am preaching I just want everyone to know that there is a way out your life doesnt have to be controlled by meth or any drug for that matter anymore. And believe me I was someone who everyone thought was a lost cause so I know that if i can do it anybody can.

I am amazed at he person I am becoming. My family used to be ashamed of me and wanted nothing to do with me and now they tell me on a constant basis how proud they are of me. That is a miracle in itself and I have abf today who is proud to be with me. And that too is a miracle when I was using I was a good for nothing psycotic person to use the term loosley and today I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of myself and what I have become and for me that is the biggest miracle of all.

And I am sorry like i said for preaching I just want you to know that you are not alone and yes your life will get 100% better but you need to work a program you just cant stop using you have to work the steps and you will be amazed at how much your life will truly change.

If you want to talk or would like more information or whatever just need to vent. I will be more than happy to talk with you just PM I am here if you need me!!

Pita poket


I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Pita, you ROCK!!!! Congrats, girl, I'm very glad you let the drug out of your life. It's a hard row to hoe but you can do it, we ALL can. One day at a time, baby!!!!

I know there are a lot of folks who've had bad NA/AA experiences, and no it isn't for everyone. I tried treatment and it was nothing but a long trigger every time I went. I quit and relapsed hard. It took making the decision by myself and for myself to get clean that did it. I haven't yet seen the inside of an NA group after going on 4 years sober, and I know it's not necessary. I just changed everything about my lifestyle and run with a healthy crowd of a few good friends and concentrate on my job, my kids, and my husband.

Pita, you ROCK!!!! Congrats, girl, I'm very glad you let the drug out of your life. It's a hard row to hoe but you can do it, we ALL can. One day at a time, baby!!!!

I know there are a lot of folks who've had bad NA/AA experiences, and no it isn't for everyone. I tried treatment and it was nothing but a long trigger every time I went. I quit and relapsed hard. It took making the decision by myself and for myself to get clean that did it. I haven't yet seen the inside of an NA group after going on 4 years sober, and I know it's not necessary. I just changed everything about my lifestyle and run with a healthy crowd of a few good friends and concentrate on my job, my kids, and my husband.
Thank youfor the kind words you are right and i should clarify the program isnt for evryone but I know i tried doing it by myself and i couldnt i needed support from others who are like me and congrats that is awesome 4 years is an incredibly long time for a person liek us to be with out meth or drugs that is truly awesome and i take my hat off to those of yu who can do it without the program. it truly takes alot. Perosnlaly for me I cant say I will never do it again but I atleast no for today I dont want nor do i need that shit. the way I look at it I have come too far now to ever go back to the person i used to be and I am much better for it!!

Seriously though congratulations on four years you should be so proud of yourself!! I would love to chat with you more about how you do it on your own, 2 have four years I know you must be doing soemthing right!!

I have been high for almost 6 years. I had been clean since september. I "fell" again about a month ago. I couldn't take the dreams anymore. Everytime I have tried it's the dreams that bring me back. I thought they would go away eventually, but they got more intense as time went on. I haven't came across a good enough reason to stay clean yet,the right motivation so to speak. I have always been told that when you're ready for it to be gone it will be gone. It is mentally exhausting to try to fight that demon over and over and over, but I have hope that someday all of us will succeed in our attempts to become drug free.

I'm sorry shadow. I know how tough it is. The dreams are something else.....I resorted, for awhile, to taking benadryl or tylenol PM to try to knock me into a deep enough sleep that either I wouldn't dream or at least wouldn't remember most of the dreams.

I still have dope dreams, but I've learned to live with them. They're pretty vivid, but I have always been a lucid dreamer, and have always dreamed in full color. I still find myself triggered, I still find myself wanting a hit, but it passes. I keep pretty busy with healthy things and the longer I'm off the sh*t the easier it is to cope with all those uncomfy things.

I know how exhausting it is, but hun, please think about what you're doing to yourself. I don't know if you have kids or family around or a spouse/significant other, but you're missing out on 90% of what makes life worthwhile when you let meth take over. It destroys your body, mind and soul. I know you know all this and that I'm not telling you anything new, but really, it's true what they say about it.

I said way earlier in this thread that it took craving being healthy and sane and normal MORE than the drug to get me to quit. We were part of the "top" of the dope chain....manufacturing - it was around in abundance any time I wanted it. That was part of what made me quit, when it was always there, it lost its appeal. I think most of the addiction is the "thrill of the chase" because when we had a full supply, I quit craving it as much after awhile.

I'm SO glad to be free of that mess....Shadow, my husband is losing 8+ years from life outside, being with his wife and children, because of this sh*t. But for the grace of God I am free, because I chose to get out of the lifestyle just a couple of months before he was taken down by a VERY good friend who snitched him off. As a result, I'm out here trying to raise these kids myself, and awhile back I was dealing with withdrawal while trying to take care of them. When Eddy went in, our son was barely walking. Now he's in kindergarten. He's missed A LOT and he can never, EVER get it back. Life's too short to let dope take you into some dark hole of insanity, or prison, or to kill you before your time. I hope you can find it within yourself to face it head on again....if the dreams and withdrawal get to be too much, see someone about getting along with that. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope to hear from you again.
((((hugs))))
Believe in yourself, you CAN live without meth.....you can NOT live with it.

Congrats to you Babylove.......Keep up the Good Work,Your in My Prayers.I was Lucky and never did do any Kind of Drugs.

NA has been a big help in my life along with other things. If they try to play doctor scar -then you were most definately in the wrong group and I am very sorry for that. Several people in my group have depressive disorders as do myself, and we are on medication to help those disorders. I would be left out if they came to me with the attitude you experianced, and I am sorry you did. Without my medication though, I and others would be a ticking time bomb to fall back into the hands of addiction. Your taught you are powerless over addiction - and I feel you are... Addiction is a bitch and you can not fight it on your own because it involves a life change. Now whether or not you need NA to fight it - depends on the person. But you definately need people who are supportive of what you are doing, new friends to show you a new way of life, etc, etc.

I have never used meth. However, my heart goes out to you. I will be praying that God will totally deliver you from this addiction and the desire to do this horrible drug!!
God Be with You.

back when I was in high school and about 15, I used to do meth.... it's a TERRIBLE drug and I'm SOOOOOOOOO thankful that it was only a phase and I was able to get out of it just as quickly as I got into it... and left it alone without ANY problems!!!! Drugs are VERY bad for you and really can screw up your life. I believe that for ALLLLLL drugs... except pot because well, I smoke pot all the time, I still have a GOOD job (legal secretary), a nice new car, a home to call MY OWN and I pay all my bills. I think any drug that brings you down and makes your life fall apart is NOT NOT NOT even worth trying. I know alot of us have tried and some have gotten out of it... some have had problems with it but for anyone that has NEVER done it...... KEEP IT THAT WAY, TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!! Just my opinion on things :D :twocents:

Personally I don't think there has ever been a drug that does the damage meth does. You deserve a lot of credit for being clean this long and I hope the day comes when you no longer even think about it. Don't romance it, don't think I can use if I change the way I was doing it before..you are lying to yourself. If you feel you are being tempted call N.A. and find support. There will never be a reason good enough to go back, not even losing everything you own or the death of family.

You can do it. One hour at a time if need be but every hour you stay clean is like
money in the bank, an investment on your future life.

This is a very interesting thread. I used meth for about a two year period and was using other drugs as well. I was in the Rave scene and there was alot of everything around. I don't remember the exact moment that I stopped but I just did. I think I lost tocuh with my hook up so that was it. I still stayed in the scene for a year or so after that slowly stopping first the meth, then the coke then my absolute favorite Ecstacy. But I still hung around the same people for a while and sometime still do. I don't think I was actual addicted even though I was using alot, almost daily. If I didn't have it I never thought to go looking for it or had the feeling that I had to have it and I did use meth for a couple of years. I come from a family of addicts, my younger brother had to go to rehab at one point and we used drugs together but it was harder for him to kick than me. I think I am missing the addict gene that runs in my family. I have regrets regarding my drugs use and then again I don't. But I also didn't have problems stopping as some of you have. I didn't have withdrawals or dreams. I know that I would never do drugs again because when I think back and look at the pros and cons I only see the cons. The stuff could be sitting in front of me right now and I would have no urge, actually it would make me sick just to see and smell the stuff.

Babylove...did you have your baby yet? If you did how is that going, I would love to know.

My whole adult life has been thrashed becouse of dope!! I have been on and off for years. If you are still clean, let me know, any ray of hope is great!!!!!!!!

some days are harder than others...depends how much life decides to show up and can i cope. i used to exist in everyday life. what i am saying is i could not function without dope (or so i thought) until i got beat so bad (broken nose, bruised ribs, etc) from my ex who claimed his undying love for me, even after he slammed a big issue in his arm and rearranged my face he still said that he loved me. Go figure. thats what that shit did to me. It robbed me of a love that i will never feel again, violated my trust, left me homeless and my spirit broken. it is a long, difficult road and not always good.

Yes I have defiantly been one who used meth in fact I used it for many years. And many of you already know that I have 9 months clean fromt hat shit as well as clean and sober from any other mind altering substance and I feel great. My life has gotten 10,000 times better than I would haave ever thought possible for an addict such as myself. So I know that if I can get off that shit anyone can!! Belive that!! If anyone wants to talk about it or wants any info on NA or whatever please feel free to PM me. I am here to tell you there is a way out of that lifestyle one that you can never imagine possible.
So please use me for info that is what I am here for I would love to help anyone who wants it in any way that I can!!

I have never used myself, I consider myself the girl next door that married the really bad boy. All I can testify too is that I have seen what it does to a person. My husband has been an addict for over 15 years, I saw him clean for five. He became sober to be with me. The relapse has been the most horrible nightmare. I couldn't have even fathomed some of the things I would have to experience, the things I have had to be a part of, watching the man I love destroy our kids, our marriage, and even himself. The drug SUCKS and is the most addictive controlling thing I have ever seen. I truly pray that he is done, but unfortunately only time will tell. I have an icredible amount of respect for all of those that are in recovery, even if you have only made it one day, its a start. Good luck to all of you!

I used it maybe 3 or 4 times it never got ahole of me though it always made me sick so I never had a problem fighting it but my husband does and it is a very scary thing

I started using Methamphetamine in 1999, by June 1,2000 I was on my way to prison for manufacturing meth. My ex-husband and I were sentenced to probation, but my addiction to meth and the needle were stronger than the thought of doing time. So we went prison. After getting out of Prison I stayed off the drug, and away from the needle for 3 years and 5 months. that was until Dec. 2004 when I thought I would try it again. I have been clean now for a little while...and thats my story...

Sweetie, you only THINK you were handling things better on meth. I'd bet you dollars to doughnuts things were not going as well while you were high. It only felt like they were.

You're going through a brain chemical thing right now-your brain literally has to grow back before you can feel good again. Meth kills all that.

Maybe a meeting?

good luck-

leslie

I used about 1 1/2 years ago. I got pregnant, that's how I got off it. It was horrible, the withdrawls I mean. I have stayed clean every since, but sometimes it does sound good. To help me focus, to get my energy, lose weight. But then I think of how my husband looked to me when I was clean and he was using. It was terrible to watch him destroy his body and mind like that. I never want to put myself or my family through that again. Just keep strong, and take it one day at a time. Every day you don't use truly is a victory for you. Even though we don't know each other, I'm proud of you for making the choice and reaching out when you feel weak. That's the only way to beat it!

I used for 3 years and then began to manufacture for about 3 more years. I guess I got over it pretty fast once I went to prison. I tried to get clean and couldnt do it on my own. Congratulations to your staying clean, please hang on to that, prison aint nothen nice and if the feds get your name you could be in for a lifetime of problems. I have been clean for almost 3 years!! I dont remember having any withdraw. Currently I have no triggers or desires. I do not understand why but maybe it has to do with going to prison forever and the guilt I have because of what it has done to my family. My brother has lost his children and is now facing another 10 ys fed time. I hate the shit.

You hang on to your sobriety and cherish your family, they will not always be here.

I wish you all the luck in the world and will pray for you.

I've been clean (from meth and blow) for 3 weeks now. I know what you're going through physically and mentally. I'm 26 and have been struggling with addiction for nearly 10 years now. My boyfriend is currently in the hole for a dirty UA now and I haven't heard from him in days, when usually I get a letter every day, so I'm having a VERY hard time also. Still clean tho! So far so good...

I'm a recovering meth addict,ive been using since I was 10yrs old and now i'm 36, been clean and sober , doing a program since 11-05-02 , and it's been a long road ,i've smoked it ,snort it ,shot it ,any way i could .I've been addicted to lots of other drugs , but meth was my fav,anyways just to let you know it gets better,it takes time but you can do it .My life is so much better now ,don't get me wrong i still think about it , but i put God first and it works, plus i'm really involved with AA ,that helps alot .If you need someone to talk to PM me and maybe i can help.Just stay strong it's going to be o.k {{{{HUGS}}}}

I just wanted to say something else about AA/NA being a cult, HAHA thats funny cuz thats what my ex used to tell me when i was going to meetings and in rehab back in '98 ,then when i got out of rehab after spending 6months in there i stopped going to meetings didnt get a sponsor when i moved out of town so needless to say i left the ex {GOOD THING }got my own apt. and started getting loaded again,he thought they were brainwashing me, cuz he was and he didnt want anyone taking that away from him,even my family.Now i will say i also stopped going to meeting then cuz i didnt like all the drama and politics going on in the meetings ,so that was my excuse not to go back cuz i really wasnt done getting high,it had to take like 3 more yrs out there ,and winding up in a mental insitution trying to kill myself,to come to my senses that this isn't for me anymore and i need to grow up,and i've got a beautiful 15 yr daughter that would be so lost without me ,so i went to a few meetings and found the ones were i can be me and be accepted for who i am, and i did more than 90 meetings in 90 days i practally lived in those meetings.I don't give a s**t what people think of me ,i love me today ,what you see is what you get,and i am loved today.My family couldnt even stand to be around me ,my parents would change the locks on their house like once a week,now i have a key and i'm trusted ,and i owe it all to the program of AA , and the willingness to stay sober today .May hat goes off to the ones who have done it on their own, but i couldnt ,and i can't ,I've tried .AA is not a cult ,all you do is just sit and listen to others just like you, who have a problem with drugs and alcohol no one forces you to be there besides the big bad judge :) But it does work if you want it to ,the 12 steps have changed my life completly . i was a lost cause and i tried everything and i found this is for me .Con grads to all the soberity on this post ,love to all of you and keep up the good work,May God be with with you all

Chipsgirl thanks so much for sharing a little about yourself!! Congrats on your recovery that is awesome and the way you honestly spoke of AA or lack of AA/NA is something I appreciate. I too was not someone who could stay clean and sober alone without some kind of ongoing treatment. I am a member of AA and I also can't continue my recovery without it. I need ongoing help on a daily basis to keep me from relapsing even if at first it's in the mind. This weekend I was around people who drank and I felt safe. I don't hang around it much but when I am I make sure that I am spiritually equipped to handle it and when I start to feel wierd, I give myself an out. When it's offered to me its an automatic no thank you and for years it was not the case.
Keep up with the good work sweetie, you are truely an inspiration to me and many others.:)

Thanks Chipsgirl for your story it is similar to mine only I ended up in jail for 6 months and had to lose everything including my dignity and self-respect before I got it. I am coming up on 11 months clean and I have to tell you I love my life today!! I do I am so grateful for the rooms of NA and AA like chipsgirl I tried doing it on my own terms and could not get clean for more than a couple of weeks tops. I need to be around people like me people who can understand what it is like to live to get high!! That is what my life was like I was no longer in control of my life Meth had complete control of my mind and body!!

Today I love myself and I know I am better than that. I have the love of my family back they too did not want anything to do with me 11 months ago wanted me out of their life for good and to be honest I could not blame them. I was not too be trusted my BF could not even trust me I would steal from him if I was given a chance!!

I miss my baby today he is in prison for another couple of years but the cool thing is is we have a relationship today better than I could have ever dreamed he tells me today he is proud of me on a regular basis!!

Just to give you an idea of how different my life is today I was not employable when I was high, today I have a full time job doing my dream job which is Web design, I am enrolled back in college to finish my degree and not only am I in a sober living house but I manage it!! My life is so full and rewarding today. I am a productive member of society today I pay my bills, obey all laws and live my life clean and sober.

Just wanted to let all you girls know that if this dope fiend can do it you all can too!! And to say I am so proud of all you guys who are doing it who are staying sober one day at a time it is hard that is no lie but know that if you need to talk or just need someone to listen to I would be more than happy to listen!! I love all you guys thanks to you all for sharing your stories

Pita McNasty

Hi girls i'm so proud of you pita and sunnie ,women like you show the ones that are hurting and having a hard time, that there is hope for all of us .It's well worth the out come , i too am a manager of a sober living,and own my own home ,have a great job that by the grace of God i did not lose due to this disease ,i got to buy a new {well new to me} car '97,i found a wonderful man that loves me for me, but most of all i have my sanity , which i dont remember ever having,all this is due to AA and God. I too spent ALOT of time locked up and i'll take my freedom ANYDAY.God Bless all of you ,and i will Pray for you ,stay strong girls and guys .Love to you all , Shannon ~aka~ Chips girl~he's locked up due to this disease~ I miss my baby :( {{{{HUGS}}}}}

Many congratulations to both of you. Peace and love.

Congrads For Staying Clean.

I Just Have One Thing To Say. Take It One Day At A Time.

I work at a teen homeless shelter. Yesterday a girl came in who was 6 mos. pregnant, has never seen a doctor, her teeth were rotted out after 5 yrs. of using meth. She's only been clean for 3 days. I am wondering if anyone knows about toxic effects to her fetus or a good website.

www.kci.org (http://www.kci.org) is a good site.

I have never used meth, but I saw what it did to my brother. It turned him into someone I didn't know and frankly didn't want to know. He's struggled with it for over 10 years now, in and out of treatment over and over again and I'll stand behind him every time he needs me.
I aplaud all of you who are going threw this and your daily victories. My brother has been "clean and sober" now for over a year and his life has turned around. He's got a good job, a great lady in his life, and he's back to being the guy I "used to know".
It's all worth it.
Good luck to you all, and God Bless.

:) Congrats girl....My friend is in prison for his second time because of meth...I am very close to him and have been there for him since he went in...he has gotten a lot stronger and healthier. Of course it was hard for him and still is...it helps to talk...you should go to rehab or to a drug counselor....there are also a lot of helpful websites out there...chat rooms for recovering addicts...they might help you also....as for the mind...I see some change with him...he is forgetful about things he's known for years but is still the same ole person he was....good luck to you...I will shoot some prayers your way

Congratulations to all who are recovering addicts. I have been clean going on 6 weeks after one relapse. Meth was my drug of choice because of the power. When I was doing it I felt like I could conquer the world. When I was buying the makings I felt like I was smarter than the cops. When I was helping cook I felt like no one could stop me. When I was selling I had the power to control other's habits.

I've done meth pretty much every way possible besides shooting up. That's where I drew the line. Pretty crazy after everything else I was doing, huh? I was a lucky one, I never got busted. At times, I almost wished I had, maybe it would have put some sense in my head. Meth really screws your life up.

My short term memory is pretty much nonexistent, my lungs are cashed, my skin is still red and blotchy and scarred in some spots from picking, my only "friends" I have left are my dope friends and dealers. What I mean is I really have no friends left 'cuz my "friends" don't come around when there's no dope.

I am happy with my choice to quit even though I know the road is eternally long. To all you other "quitters" I'm here with you and I know what you're going through. God bless the broken road.

Congratulations on 6 weeks that is Awesome! Keep up the good work.

congrats all, have used some and seen nfirst hand effects, i knew from the start this stuff is bad, its sweeping the nation, ive done, weed, coke, and crack, but meth has got to be the worse, i watched my friends change too, and i just dont like it, besides ppl its made with poisonious substances from wal-mart, sorry i think id rather be hooked on heroin, oh well,
i've been clean from all drugs for four years as of 4/20 this year, and havent had a cig since about 6pm yesterday, man i want one, and only drink 1 to 3 drinks at a time, i just hope my sweety can get out and stay clean, luckly weed and cigs and alcohol are his only downfalls. any advice on ex-cons staying clean?
TTFN

Hi to all of you! I came over that thread some weeks ago and it made me think...I only used these plant stuff :cool: , nothing else so far, so I even didn`t know what "Meth" is? I spoke about it with my best friend (through our letters). He knew even who invented that drug! A german man, some time in 1930 or so. Strange. Well, my friend used meth, but only a few times I guess. Anyway. He is a poet and so this inspired him to another great strange poem. If you`re interested, I posted it today in the poem forum. Title Weird One. Enjoy ;) Ute

I've been clean almost 2yrs now again... It's hard but you have to learn to hate it. You can't be around it or people who do it. Drop your old friends, family, husband, boyfriend, who ever is doing it. That is if you want life. Crank is death. You become the living dead. The nightmares get better after about 6 months. It takes your body at least 2 years to begin to work right again. Your mind starts to clear in about a year and a half. Then you start to pick up the pieces.....if theres anything left to pick up.......and your not in prison. Rehab is good. When I went they didn't know what the effects of crank were but gave you a look at what the effects of cocaine had on the body and mind. Don't dwell on how the drug made you feel, it will bring on cravings. Good luck, and pray..........a lot.......

I have never used meth, But I do know first hand the damage "METH" can do to a family. My brother has used cristal for many years. He has verbally and physically abused my mother, father, sister and myself. He is not the same person he was before he started using. I used to idolize him. He was a professional Dirt Bike Rider and BMX'r. He made many covers of magazines and had countless sponsors. But it all went down the drain when he began using. I miss the person he was. He is now serving the last 2 months of his four year sentence, he is a 2nd striker. Im afraid of what will happen when he gets out. Will he hurt us? Will he hurt himself? Meth is an awful and destuctive drug. I want to congratulate all of you who are clean and sober! I encourage you to keep up the good work!

I am a recovered drug addict. I was damn near every day from the time I was 17 until I was 28. Heroin and X are the only two drugs I can think of that I haven't done. Everything else was used frequently and usually simultaneously, swallow, snort, smoke, or shoot it, it didn't matter. I stole from my family and friends, committed crimes to get it, ended up homeless living in abandoned buildings and eating my dinner out of dumpsters (if you time it right you can get the burgers they throw out before the dump the bleach mop water on it). I've been at rock bottom but never ever again. I now work for a major telecom company making good money and completing my degree.

For those of you who are reading this that want to quit or have already quit and need help or for those of you are desparately searching for a way to help your addicted love one's I would like to give you some information about a web site and a book that changed my life. The web site www.rational.org (http://www.rational-recovery.org/) and the book is named "Rational Recovery:A New Cure for Substance Addiction".

The book is written by Jack Trimpey who is a recovered alcoholic. If you take the time to read the information I promise you a light is going to come on for you. If you are an addict you know that your addiction is a beast. Rational Recovery will teach you how to kill the beast.

AA, NA, etc teaches that addiction is a disease over which you have no control. That's a load of crap. It's a choice you make and you do have control. I'm living proof of it every day.

If anyone would like more information please feel free to IM me. The best advice I can give any of you is that if you or your loved one is REALLY ready then buy the book, print off the web pages and send them to your loved ones on the inside.

God Bless and Best Wishes,
Mrs C

I only iused meth for about one year. And what a year it was. I went from using every once in a while, to using daily, to selling, to making in such a short amount of time. But on Feb. 23, 2005 I had ONE year of being 100 percent meth free! It's hard some times. You just gotta take it one day at a time. It will get better. Maybe check and see if there are any NA (narcotics anonymous) meetings in your area. Or even get an NA book. Support from others can be very helpful. Good luck to you. You'll be in my prayers!

I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Sweetheart, it will get better. I've never used, but, I have son in Montgomery County community corrections Rehab facility, now as we speak. And he's getting better every day. My boyfriend just this past friday was granted parole, after spending 18 mos in prison, after only 6 mos of using meth. It's not worth it all the way around. But, I promise, you will get better. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!

I have never used meth, I work in a detox center and I can say that is some bad stuff!!! People come in there so geeked up its unreal---some are so fried that they will never be right again. Its the worst stuff I have seen in my three yrs of working in detox/mental health.

ONE

I used and, I am clean now for 2 1/2 years and I am so proud of you babylove, that is a huge step in the right direction.

I think its a mental thing, I remember when I was younger I went on a 6 month mission using heroin. I took every single penny I got to spend it on that drug. I woke up one morning with my body shaking, bones hurting, sweating, my body was asking for it. I tell you, I looked in the mirror and realized how skinny I was and how ugly I looked. I cried and made my mother take out a ticket for me to leave the state, I remember the last bag I sniffed, it was on the plane. Yea, I was crazy enough to sneak it on the plane, only because I was high. But that was the last bag I sniffed. I kicked it cold turkey. It was the worst. But I did it. I knew that was not me, and I knew I had the strength to stop. I had to get away from those surroundings. And I returned when I knew I was strong enough to say no. And I tell you, people pushed it in front of my face and I kept saying no..............I remember this one guy kept telling me, come on for old time sakes showing me the bag, I got so pissed off I smacked it off his hands, the poor guy was practically crying picking it up from the floor. I just walked away and told him not to ever speak to me again. that was 19 years ago, and I have never touched it again and won't ever, especially because I hate it. You have to learn to hate it, in order to leave it alone.

Okay, this may sound stupid and I haven't read the entire thread but... What is meth? And what do you do with it? I've heard the word and read about "meth labs" but I really don't understand what this is.

tas, meth is short for "methamphetamine" a.k.a. crystal, ice and other slang names. It is a dangerous chemical version of speed. It is made from highly toxic chemicals -- you can visit www.google.com (http://www.google.com) and type in the word meth in the search string to get a lot of information on it. It is supposedly very easy to make at home so people who buy it don't necessarily know what is in it. A lot of stores have taken sudafed and other cold remedies off the market because that is the first ingredient needed to make it. Meth labs explode very easily. My advice is to stay away. It gives people an intense high then a deep deep depression, destroying the "feel good" brain cells causing people to take more to try to get the initial high. Please don't try it. I have never tried it but have educated myself about it.

A german man, some time in 1930 or so. The german man was Hitler. One of the many forms of making meth is called the Natzi method.

Don't worry Jaycie...not even thinking about it...I just didn't know what all the hoopla was about.

I'm glad you aren't even thinking about it because it is evil. Take care!

Mama Hen



Don't worry Jaycie...not even thinking about it...I just didn't know what all the hoopla was about.

:confused: :( :angry: DEAR BABYLOVE!TRUST ME ,IT DOES GET BETTER!! I WAS A 15 YEAR USER AND THE FIRST 18 MONTHS WERE THE WORST BEING CLEAN. THEY SAY IT TAKES AT LEAST A YEAR TO GET BACK TO "YOURSELF" AND THEY ARE NOT LYING!! I WENT THROUGH CAMPUS OF HOPE IN OMAHA :thumbsup: NEBRASKA AND THEY SAVED MY LIFE, AND BROUGHT ME MY SON BACK HOME AFTER BEING IN FOSTER CARE FOR FOUR YEARS AND MY PARENTAL RIGHTS BEING TERMINATED AND THEN BEING REINSTATED AFTER A YEAR LONG APPEAL:eek: THAT HAS NEVER REALLY HAPPENED IN OMAHA BEFORE. I WAS PROUD OF THAT AND I SCREWED UP & RELAPSED JUST DAYS AFTER SEEING MY SON AGAIN AFTER A YEAR. THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO GO TO INPATIENT:fb: IT WAS HELL AT FIRST, PLUS I HAD A NEW BABY BY THEN WHO WAS 6 MTHS OLD THAT I HAD TO LEAVE FOR 35 DAYS. BUT THE EFFECTS YOU ARE HAVING NOW ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL AND A SECRET ABOUT THE DREAMS, THAT IS JUST YOU WANTING TO USE, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS BEING "BACK THERE" I HAD A LITTLE EXERCISE I DID EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO BED (TAUGHT TO ME BY AN INDIAN COUNSELOR AT TREATMENT) I SAT ON THE BED AND THOUGHT OF EVERY BAD HORRIBLE THING METH DID TO ME, MY KIDS, MY FAMILY, AND MY HEALTH, & LIFE FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES AND THOSE DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES OF USING FINALLY STOPPED.YOU CAN WRITE ME ANYTIME IF YOU NEED TO TALK OR DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HELP YOU!! HANG IN THERE, IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? WHEN I SEE MY USING FRIENDS TODAY~THEY MAKE ME SICK, AND THEY MAKE ME SAD, BUT VERY VERY PROUD!! PROUD THAT I AM FINALLY GOING SOMEWHERE & THEY ARE STILL "THERE". I PROMISE THE FOG LIFTS AND THE SUN DOES RISE IN "METH FREE LAND" TRUST
SINCERELY YOURS,ROBIN ( SOBER: 2 YEARS TODAY!!!!!):p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :thumbsup: My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana[/QUOTE]

I have never used Meth but it has effected my life. My son's father was a user for years and finally got busted for having a meth lab. He got sentenced to 10 years. Now he hasn't been a father or in my sons life since my son was 5, he is now 13. His father chose a life of meth instead of a wonderful son. I give credit to those that get help and realize life is too short to mess it up, there are so many more ways to enjoy life! It's too bad that people have to go that far and be sent to prison before they stop. Besides hurting themselves, they hurt everyone around them. Out of this bust, 2 children that were in house are without a mother now, his sister let him into her home for this, and his son will never know him. He will be 21 when he is released. By that time, there will be too much time gone by I am afraid, he doesn't attempt to have any contact with him what so ever, but he is trying to get his child support reduced, I get a big $18.00 per month. I am angry, I am the one to answer the questions and look into my sons eyes. I am married to a wonderful man that loves my son just as his own and I am grateful he has a "dad". Something to think about, it effects everyone not only the user! Good luck to the ones that are trying to quit, and a big congrats to those that have stopped.

I supported the south american coke cartel in the 80s. ... Havent had a coke dream in about 3 years now. ... hmmm.

I put a needle, in my arm the first time at the age of twelve. The last time, I was 29 years old. That last time, almost cost me my life. I suffered a major cerebral vascular assault. I stroked on a massive scale.

I was blessed, with the care of one of the best nuerosurgeons, in the U.S. But, he had quit on me and wrote me off, as dead. In his words, he had done all he knew to do and could not stop the bleeding, in my brain. He told me to thank God that I had lived, not him, because all he could do was back away and pray.

They called me a miracle, all over the hospital, because even when I pulled through, they expected me to be a vegetable. Workers, from E.R. dropped by to see me, because they had to see for themselves that I was not only alive, but had memory, speech and reasoning skills. You have found someone, who will say that being left partially paralyzed was a blessing. I do know what I could have lost. A man only 35 or so was in there, after a stroke and I watched his wife and kids suffer, because he knew none of them.

Noone has ever loved crystal meth more than me. After 13 years, my stomach still ties up in knots, if I walk in someone's house and catch the smell, which I occasionally do. But, I do not want the crap for sure.

Now,let me explain something. As young as I started, I went thru 5 pregnancies, from 18-28. I did not use, when pregnant and there had been a 6-7 year stretch or more that I had not used at all, until my near death. The nurses said that my age was no surprise at all, they have 13 year olds, in for stroke far more than anyone would believe. A good friend's brother dropped dead, in front of the T.V. at 17 and a dear friend dropped at 30 years of age.

I do beg anyone, who would use to truly think. I have had too learn to walk again, just like a baby. And I played a beautiful red Ovation once. I lost a hand, so the guitar is gone, forever. And I have a really good limp. I am blessed to be where I am and most do not come out near so well, after a similiar brainbleed. I can in no way complain, but I can try to scare the hell out of others and pray they never share my fate.

I pray for you and ask you to please research this, if you doubt me. I judge noone, for using. I certainly have no right. Those, who I call my dearest friends still use. I pray for them constantly, because we have buried far too many, in recent years........

PLEASE KNOW AND BELIEVE DRUGS KILL!!!!!!!!!!
It is not worth it to get high........

Wow.. Eldon's Wife.. reading your post gave me chills.. I am glad you survived.. That drug is AWFUL!!! It is scary to think of little kids doing that.. my twins are 12 years old and I can't even fathom them doing anything like this..

Keep strong, good for you that the baby came first!! Do your very best not to do it anymore. Drugs do kill. I lost my only sister to an overdoze this last January 3rd. I knew one day I would get that phone call, But when she made it to her fifties I thought that part of her life was over. Boy was I wrong. It's really sad to lose someone to drugs. You can do this if not for yourself than for your child. You are in my prayers and I pray that it really is over with for you!!! I never got into drugs but I think it was beacuse I was too busy fighting my sister about it. Please don't let this happen to you. You have alot to live for!!!

Just finshed reading all the posts here. Just wanted to say to all who have used and are now clean CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! To those who are trying DON"T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!! My son is user has tried to quite but keeps going back. I see how much he changes when he uses. The only thing I can do is to pray for him and not give up on him.

Just wanted to pass on a link to a very supportive and informative website.

http://www.crystalrecovery.com/Links/MDF.html

Hey everyone! I was reading through some of the post's on this topic and I felt like I should respond. I was on crystal meth for almost a year the first time I got clean. When I was growing up both of my parents were addicts and they stayed addicated up until I was 18, I helped get both my mom and dad clean and I knew how bad this drug was. I always said I would never do drugs and I hated everyone who did. When I turned 18 my dad was the one in his addication and this time it was crack. It hurt me so bad because I always put him on a pedastool, he could do nothing wrong in my eyes. Well to make a long story short there was a big fight one day, I had my dad arrested for breaking my nose cuz that was the only way he would get clean. After that I felt like it was my job to support the family now so I took a job as a stripper. Needless to say by the time my dad came home, which was under 6 months, I was hooked on meth. I lost everything because of this drug. The parents I helped get clean turned their backs on me when i needed the help and everything I worked for my whole life was gone in the blink of an eye. I was pregnant and in an abusive relationship and still didnt think I had a problem. I used up until the day I gave birth to my oldest daughter. When they took her from me it was in a way a sigh of relife because I knew I would finally get the help I needed. I went stright from the hosptial to rehab, lived there for 6 months got my baby back in my custody, and stayed clean for over three years. I never had withdrawls, my using dreams were slim to none, and I had no desire to use ever again. Then one day I thought I ha it under control and was out with friends who were using and I thought what the hell one time wont hurt and who will know. Big mistake! I was hooked instantly. I lost everything but my kids in the matter of 3 months, and it was the worst time I had ever had using. I was able to hide my using from family and friends but I knew I had to stop before I had my kids takin away from me. Getting clean the second time was WAY HARDER then it was the first time. I had to kick on my own because if I went back into rehab everyone would know my dirty little secret. I thought I would never be "normal" again. I slept all the time and couldnt get up even if I had wanted to. That lasted about 3 weeks and then I was back to normal again. I told my husband that we had to get clean if we wanted a normal life and the day he got busted was the last day I used. I have been clean again for about three months now and I feel like me again. However my husband feels like he can't stay clean out here and that I should stay by his side no matter if he uses or not. Well we have seperated and its not easy, but getting clean never is. I will not let anyone help bring me down again, if I can stay clean out here while taking care of two kids and have him to worry about in prison than he can surely stay clean outhere. And just by him sayin he can't tells me he isn't ready and he hasnt hit rock bottom yet.

Congrats to everyone with clean time on another day clean, and for those who are thinking about getting clean get some help, its hard enough to kick meth, why make it harder by trying to do it alone.

Welcome to all the one's I have not met yet and thanks sooo much for sharing your stories. Some of your stories brought be to tears and tears of joy for hearing the recovery. Strangers chick your story was like telling my own. Temporarily loosing my oldest daughter got me clean and sober and if it had not been for what I went through i don't know if I would be clean and sober today. Drugs effect EVERYONE not just the addict but their families and loved ones, their kids and it eats at them as much if not worse than the drugs eating at the addict.

Congrats on your recovery strangers chick, eldon's wife, rsullivan kukos :clap:
:yay::yay::yay:

I just want to remind you all...there is a recovery chat on Friday nights starting at 8:00 California time and would love to see all you all there...if this night or time is not good for you please let me know and we could always re-negotiate the day and time. and remember just because you never used drugs or drank..You have loved ones or friends inflicted with this horrible disease so you do understand and the support is here for you too. :)

Congrats!...I have been there done that and wont do it again!!..I used for over a year....shoot I lost my love of my life to that stupid stuff..i have been clean for about 2 years..I didnt have any of those side effects you are having?.So i cant really help...i know all about those when you are on it though...WHAT A LIFE!!!
YUCK..i

Here it is, September 26, 2005 and after 6 years my husband has finally made it to the Kyle facility in Texas. This is his IPTC that he has do for 6 months. Well, it all started back in 1998, fall. I had been a occassional user of Meth, i guess you could say "recreational" user. I thought, hey, i can party on it but i can walk away at anytime. I could never understand the term "addict". Well, I met the love of my life in August of 1998. I could look at him and just melt. As a matter of fact, even today, it's the same. Anyway, I met him through my sister and brother in law. He and my brother in law went back a long ways. We started "partying" together, staying up all night on the stuff,talking etc. Of course after a couple of nights being up on it then you start seeing the paranoia and change in behavior. Anyway, i always thought, let him sleep it off, he'll be different in the morning. Never was is me, always him. Now, we were pretty much insepreratable. Except for going to our jobs. One night we were all sitting around talking about how easy it would be to just make it and how much money we would save. You know how it is, the last thing you think is "I'll never get caught". So, that's what we started doing. My husband, brother in law, brother, sister. All of us were really into it. In March of 1999 my husband and I married and moved to Lubbock. We were going to get cleaned up and start fresh. That didn't last long. It's hard when all of your best friends are doing it. Oh sure, occasionally cant hurt right? WRONG. I found out a month after we were married i was pregnant. He was marrried once before and was told he couldn't have kids. Therefore, i never thought about birth control. However, i found out that he was alot more potent than he realized. To make a long story short, he went back to Dallas for work, hooked up with my sister, brother in law and brother and got back into it. here i was pregnant, alone, hurting, sad. Now, of course, in Sept. 1999, his luck changed. He got busted on highway 360 in
Grand Prarie. Now, I could have walked away, probably would have been easier but you have to understand. He is the TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE! so, i decided at that time i was going through this with him. Now, he was previously incarcerated before we ever met for the same thing. Manufacturing. So, this was going to be a tough battle. All of the lawyers in the world couldn't get him off. The prosecution was going for Life. ( to set an example). Anyway, he was given a 30 year and 20 year sentence to run concurrent. Oh, there have been ups and downs. I've been raising our children (i have a 17 year old from a previous relationship but my husband has always looked at him as his own.) But through the grace of God we have made it through the ruffest part. Now, i will say, we still have some major roads to go over before he is home but we are on the down side of it. Moral is this: There is no such thing as recreational use. It will take you in so fast your head will spin. I've been clean for 6+ years. I don't have any desire to go back to the stuff. I keep to myself more or less. I focus on my family. My sister, brother are clean. However, my brother in law was busted and also after being released sent back for dirty UA's. I know one thing. I have to pray every day for my family and be strong. Stay away from anyone or thing that would tempt me. It does get easier as the years go by. Becca.:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Oh the nightmare of meth, been there done that. I've been clean since 1989 I did it for 8 months or I should say meth did me. In that time a popcorn crunal got stuck up by my tooth, I lost my tooth because poison rotted my bone at the root. I had a scratch on the top on my hand, got blood poisoning doctor had to pack it. Never mainline but got HCV my liver count was 379 a normal count is 35 to 45. It took me 5 days of sleeping when I stop my children just thought I had the flu, Poor babies taken care of themselves and their mama. Yes, meth take the person the drug is from the santan in my opinioun to destroy us. My advice to anyone who want to stop using meth is to admit first you have a drug proplem. Tell someone you trust, ask them to care for you during the first week. Sleep Sleep Sleep When your able to get up to use the bathroom without feeling like you will fall down and able to make yourself something to eat an smell the aroma of the food cooking from that moment on tell your self "I am a recovering drug addict" Learn that like your name. Say it to where you feel no shame from the words, because there is no shame in those words. I to am a recovering drug addict. I cannot be around drugs. I was weak once and could become weak again. I am a recovering drug addict. When you have acknowledge the truth to your mind, the body needs support than. Lots of vitiams minrals eat right, don't worry about gain weight because meth didn't make a person lose fat it was musel, so when you eat your regaining your musel fat was still there. Remember to in a female the drug stays in your fat cells so when you lose weight through burning fat you will feel system as if you were on meth. Don't be fooled thinking your jonesing. Your not its the fat cells releasing the drug. Then there is the emotional rollercoaster. The feeling if I just do a line I would stop crying. Remind yourself I am a recovering drug addict, I deserve a good cry, If those around you don't understand, tell them I am recovering drug addict and I am emotional and I need to cry its nothing against you. I would say probely two years went by before I stopped thing of meth everday. But with the Lord as my host I made it through. In 1996 I had a girlfried I didn't know she was on meth, one day I went to visit her and saw some on the mirror. Do you know my mind and body desired the evil stuff, all those years later. I said to the room of people I am a recovering drug addict I can not be here for I am weak. Praise God the holy spirit grabbed me up by my shirt collor and took me out that door, I say the holy spirit did because I wanted to do it. It was hard but once I got in my car and drove away I couldn't praise God enough. Every day when I put my fake tooth in see the scare on my hand the the years of every 6 months of blood work to check my liver level, I am reminded I am a recovering drug addict.
God bless you all who read this, and to those who are struggleing to stop using meth I pray the holy spirit pulls you from your shirt collor and gets you away. I am living testimony, I was told I had 1 year to live now its been 16 years being clean, I am still a recovering drug addict. Admitting that has saved my life it open the door for Jesus to perform.
Linda

I have been Bi-Polar since the age of 14, but was not "formally" diagnosed until a pre-sentence investigation before I went to prison, yet did not receive treatment.
My years, from the age of 13, have been spent drinking and doping, and jail time in between. I didn't try "meth" until one of my roomies in prison gave me some to try. (She was in for manufacturing...and yes you can get drugs in prison). When I got released, and moved to Cali, this is the drug I went searching for, and I then spent a few years in a very violent relationship, also due to meth and alcohol.
I now have slight, yet permanent, damage to one eye as the result of this mans meth induced violence, let alone what this did to my children.
I managed to get myself, and my children out of this and stayed clean for 7 years. During that time I found employment, and was very good at what I did, building a decent life for myself and my sons. I had a new/used truck, a motorcycle, a mobile home of my own...had even established credit.
When my sons were old enough and had moved away from home,
I started using again, and fell hard; another 7 years (6 years slamming) of licking the baggies, seeing how it corroded the metal of the razors... still doing it... knowing what it was doing to my body. Buying an eight ball...and then an hour or two later, buying two more...just out of fear of running out. When I started slamming it, I was no longer a "functioning addict"...sharing needles...unprotected sex...cooking my dope with beer if I had no water...not paying my bills...let alone all the lies, and stealing...lost my truck and eventually my job. At that time I had to borrow money from family to keep my mobile home, and kicked cold turkey...alone. This is also when you know who your friends are...they are not the ones you dope with!
My son thought if I came to Arizona and started over that would help. Trust me...just changing where you are is not the complete answer. It did not take me long to come in contact with new sources, and I was using again.
This time, I was using for days...and rode my motorcycle through a red light, right into a SUV. This accident broke me in half...and I almost bleed out twice. Then came the surgery, a month and a half in the hospital, months in a wheelchair... and then rehab...(all of which my family was there to help me through). This was when I then lost my mobile home.
Years later, I am still left with permanent physical disabilities,have to walk with a cane, constant pain, and meth mouth (insurance does not cover dentures), no drivers license, and huge fines and damages to pay.
I was lucky...knock on wood...after all the unprotected sex, sharing needles, and blood transfusions, (I worked in plasma donation...I know IV users donate), I am HIV free.
I have been "meth" free since 2002, but still struggle with the drug craving...and not just the drug craving, but also the memories of, the ritual of chopping and shooting, which I loved. (...one of my triggers).

So, if I can say anything to you...get treatment if you have any history of depression...teach yourself, "WHY" you started using, and what your "triggers" are. Stay constantly "aware" of that weakness, and be sure of this...your child will be affected even if you think you are able to maintain.
MY prayers are with you both.

Thinkink
Your story brought tears to my eyes and congrats on being clean. Huge feat that one day at a time you have overcome.

Being able to identify your triggers are half the battle.
An addict who shoots drugs is not only addicted to the drug, but to the needle, as well and even a simple blood test can bring o,n a trigger, but being able to recognize this will help you in, your journey.
Welcome to pto and I am very proud of you! As are your children

Thinkink, ... I wish you luck. ...life just sometimes sucks. ,

that is scary :eek: rsullivan!

I am a child of the sixties and seventies, we did every drug know to man and more. I have done Meth, several times as well as coke, crack and Heroin but never was addicted , I could always walk away and that has been many many years back. I smoked pot for 35 years and suddenly just stopped. It has never been something I craved. I have a brother that is a severe addict and has been for over 20 years and he looks old , yet is 5 years younger than I am. I have a cousin who is 8 yrs younger and has been an addict for 20 years and he looks 20 years older than me . He is the best person in the world but he is addicted. My husband is and addict , though he is still in denial . I lost a very good friend 3 years back he was a crack addict and why he waited until he was 53 to become one I will never know but he did and he had a bad heart and had a heart attack and died in jail before they even came back to take him to the hospital.
I wish you the very best!

I have a daughter who used meth. In short the meth took her straight to prison. She has a son who doesn't even know her or me for that matter. On meth my daughter signed a power of attorney over to a stranger.This woman now is trying to keep my grandson. She was able to influence my daughter while she was methed out. I am fighting for my grandson in courts. I hate meth, I hate everything about it!! All I can say is, don't use it or any other drug for that matter, and if your using now, stop and seek HELP before it ruins your life.

and might I add

....and the lives of the people you love

I did a fair amount of speed, and that's what my honey is headed to FPC for. I didn't have such a hard time getting off of it, maybe becuase I didn't like it that much. I just did it because I would do anything to get out of my head. Drinking was my main thing. We have both been clean for nearly two years. Now listen to what I tell you, because it's true. This first part getting clean will be tough. It might even take a year. But if you stick it out, and especially if you get a support group, I go to AA, you will not BELIEVE how much better your life gets. Life is so much better today than I ever could have imagined, I can't tell you. I used drugs and alcohol, sometimes a lot and sometimes not so much, for nearly 20 years. That said, also consider seeing a doctor. Some people apparently experience chemical imbalances involving mood chemicals such as serotonin, following withdrawal from heavy meth use. I think I had that after withdrawing from heavy cocaine use when I was 19. A doctor may be able to help. Good luck to you.

I fell face first in a bag of speed at 22, stayed there a year or so, been clean 14 years now.

I am new here but have browsed the forums. I was in TX and 3 murders of loved ones. I never would have used drugs but I did. First it was pot then crank. My kids my boyfriend and I all did drugs. We moved to ND where I am from almost 8 months ago. We were all clean for about a month. My bf went to the bar and some guy introduced him to meth. Well to make a long story short...my bf wrote 3000.00 worth bad checks to get meth, my son was almost dead and my ex and I called an ambulance and got him commited to a state hospital to save his life. My bf is in jail for bad checks, forgery for six months. My son robbed a house and is now a ward of the state until next Sept.. My daughter was put into a rehab for 7 weeks. And I have CPS in my life for six months. All for meth. We all had drug/alchol evaluations etc. Went to court etc.. The ramifications of meth in my household has been the worst. First bf went to prison, then my son so tweaked out can't remember anything much less how to spell his name and doing the burglary and getting CPS involved because he is under age and being taken away for a year. My daughter is now home and totally clean and sober and so am I. Yes I used meth when I satyed with a friend I didn't have place to live and it was there all the time. I am not an addicted to drugs but went overboard for all the grief and pain I felt. I regret my decsions and those in my life. I stopped using meth a month and a half ago. I don't have any symptoms to overcome. Well at least I got anti-depressants and counseling to deals with my divorce, my sister/husbands murders, my now husband coming within a1/8 inch of killing our baby, my sister-in-law being killed last Jan. from my brother-in-law, and now all that has happened here in ND. My son is still alive, my bf is still alive and my daughter is on anti-depressants now also and is the happy girl who she used to be.

Tanna it gets better as time goes on. if you went thorough a rehab then they told you to find your higher power. God is my higher power and there is a Life Recovery Bible that has helped me through all aspects of my life. With this Bible it shows how the 12 steps aply through scripture. Pray and keep busy believe it or not it does get better. I know a few recovering Meth addicts and they have gone through the same thing.

I Was Once Adicted To Meth For About A Year I Done The Same Thing. I Felt Like I Had Nothing To Live For. Then One Day I Looked At Myself In The Mirror And Relized What I Looked Like I Would Stay Up For Weeks At A Time. I Was Introduced To It By My Step -mother. It Came To Where I Had To Mmove Out Of My Dads House Cause I Felt Pressured Into Doing It And I Didnt Want To Be Addicted. I Quit With No Help At All. You Have To Want To Do Something. When You Have Problems In Your Life You Have To Relize That The Drugs That You Do May Take That Pain Away For Just A Little While But When You Become Sober The Pain Is Still Going To Be There. I Have Been Clean For 4 Years. I Am Also Bi-polar But Im Not Putting No Excusses On That. I Am My Own Person And I Make My Own Desissions Now.i Could Have Meth Shoved In My Face And I Refuse To Do It Cause I Know What Ive Been Through And Ive Seen Other People Go Through Worst. You Have To Tell Yourself That Things Are Going To Get Better And You Have To Relize That You Are One Day Going To Have To Face Your Problems Are You Willing To Make More For Yourself? Thats The Question You Want To Ask Yourself.

I am a crystal meth addict I recently lost my husband to a 14 year sentence for manufacturing he has been gone since June. My 4 month old son also passed away in june 5 days before my husband was convicted. Everyone told this was my wake up call and motivation to better myself..I drifted further than ever the following months, my mind tells me you have lost everything, my addiction tells me all the more reason to become comfortably numb.. This drug has taken everything I have in life and it is sad that using would even cross my mind..I have learned to use it as a way to sensor my emotions.. I will say that Im trying really hard to clean up..going on a week..i am sure there will be lots of negative comments on this that is something I deal with everyday..This drug will rob you of every last thing you own and still wont stop. I pray for the strength daily it just hard to go from having a family to having no one not even friends.. I just want all the negative affects of this drug be known..Your dancing with the devil

My problem has always been that I have a VERY addictive personality. The first time I smoked a cigarette,I smoked the whole pack...the first time I did a line of coke, I did the whole bag...and so on. I tried everything before I graduated High School. I had tried cocaine for the first time at the end of my junior year and ended up graduating at 85 lbs.:yuck: ! The only good thing my then boyfriend did for me was tell me that he was going to beat the shit out of me if I kept doing it. I stopped and went to a whopping 150 lbs. in just 3 years. That's pretty big for my frame...but at least I wasn't all messed up. I did things on coke that I thought I would NEVER do! I cheated on my guy, I lied constantly, I always tried to get in fights, had a gun pulled on me, and got my car severely kicked in by random guys. I was even sexually assaulted during that time b/c when you're around all those people...there are always some really screwed up ones there, too. In the 4 years after I finally kicked it (or so I thought) I did it maybe 5 times! I started working at bars a year ago and BAM...there it was again. I started doing it once a week...and that turned into at least a "20" a night. That was nothing compared to the 8-ball I did everyday in high school...but it was getting pretty bad. I've always found that I turn to it when I'm severely upset or depressed b/c it's "the only drug that I cant cry on." Well that's not true. Since Josh got locked up (two months ago) I have found myself going back to my old ways. It sickens me that I'm doing this shit again. To be honest...I'm doing right now. Josh HATES that I do it. He did a little with me every now and then when he was out...but this is getting rediculous. I told him to threaten me to make it stop and he told me that he'll stop calling. It worked but then he got transferred from County to TDCJ 3 days ago and I went straight for it. Coke and Meth are extremely hard for me to say "no" to. As far as meth goes...I tried it the first time I saw it...like I did everything else. That's the worst! I stay up for at least a day when I do it and I find myself burning my fingers trying to get "it all." Now I just don't have any contact with people who do meth, cuz I know that I'm not strong enough to not do it with them. It's hard to detox...I know it is. But when I stopped doing coke...I felt SOOO much better and it made me a better person. My advice? Sever ALL ties with people who do meth or any drugs that you aren't strong enough to say "no" to right now. Just to give you an example as to what that shit can do to your body...My friend has been doing meth for 1-2 years and now he has lung cancer...he's only 21. After I quit coke, I had already had my heart stop 3 times, I now have a perm. heart condition, and I had to have dental work. Stay away from it.

Im certainly not going to post anything negative to your post, or I at least hope it wont be. I really admire the fact that you are aware that you have hit rock bottom and that your posting is in a way trying to better yourself and add strength to what you have accomplished. One week is a big thing, Im hoping it is now one week and one day.
I am very sad for all you have lost and I understand how hard that can be, but you can start your life over again, it is possible. I am one who has done that and there are many of us who have.
With your permission, I would like to move this post over to the addiction forum, or I would like to invite you to post there.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=202
I'm also staff there and there are two other staff members with a lot of experience in providing support and we will help you find resources in your area. We also have many people in your shoes as well as those that have made it and continue to each day. Big hugs and prayers, there is help, and Im glad you are reaching out.



I am a crystal meth addict I recently lost my husband to a 14 year sentence for manufacturing he has been gone since June. My 4 month old son also passed away in june 5 days before my husband was convicted. Everyone told this was my wake up call and motivation to better myself..I drifted further than ever the following months, my mind tells me you have lost everything, my addiction tells me all the more reason to become comfortably numb.. This drug has taken everything I have in life and it is sad that using would even cross my mind..I have learned to use it as a way to sensor my emotions.. I will say that Im trying really hard to clean up..going on a week..i am sure there will be lots of negative comments on this that is something I deal with everyday..This drug will rob you of every last thing you own and still wont stop. I pray for the strength daily it just hard to go from having a family to having no one not even friends.. I just want all the negative affects of this drug be known..Your dancing with the devil

Sorry I have the flu right now and I see you are already posted in the addiction forum. Im very glad to see that. My head is not thinking straight and I had so many windows open. my big sorries for the confusion.

:shrug: :hmm: :hmm: :ha:

I thought I was losing my ever-loving mind!!

Trust me Im trying to post on here and Im so sick right now and I realize that I have to double check everything after that mess up. Im going to go lie back down soon. Sorry Sunnie and others, no you have not lost your mind.
In my silly defense the member I was posting to had posted in two forums and I had both open and answered the wrong one, though I still would have had it wrong. Anyways, I will shut up now...I knew you would catch that Sunnie,,lol.
I will let us all get back on topic now.

i used for years.... it does get better you just have to keep the faith!!!! you can do it stay strong go to NA, surrond yourself with people who love and respect you, and those fools who use do not love and respect you. its hard but you will make it through, i am now just shy of a year clean and i couldn't be better, the trick don't pick up and use, DO NOT pick up and use, no matter how hard life is and bad your craving it the worst possible thing that you could do is use because you will be right back were you started when you quit. you can do it, pm me if you need to chat or whatever. you are in my thoughts and prayers

:banghead: I too am an addict trying to clean up off the evildoings of meth. My husband is serving another term because of it as well. The longest I have managed without is only 5 days and i think thats mainly because i was asleep and/or broke. I have confided with my husband and told him i keep relapsing and he cant believe i cant just walk away from it and never look back because of the situation it has put us in with us being separated. He said I've got till he gets out in 10 months to clean up my act...I seriously want to do this.:thumbsup: .. I have started going to church with his mother and find myself "tweaking" out on reading the Bible but I dont think thats kinda what they had in mind when they said seek help from God. Its just really hard because I relocated to another county to be closer to him and his family before we were married and dont know not a 1 single person who doesnt use. I answered an ad in the paper to rent the room i'm currently in and moved into a beautiful half million dollar home...only to find out that 2 of ther other occupants do it themselves...its an epidemic out here and i cant seem to get away or have the financial means to get away and go somewhere else. I had a pretty bad problem with meth and every other drug under the sun but realised my only chance at making it in this world was to up and leave. so at 4am with $90 i threw what i could in the truck of my roomies car and said hey since you're up, on drugs too of course, could ya drive me to...say...texas...so from california to texas i went...worked out perfectly for my sobriety. I ended up staying there for 10 years before i returned back to california. I was doing fine here and not using till a few months before my husband was paroled last may for a previous term and havent totally cleaned up 100% since... not too mention to make matters worse i have a pending DUI case with a BAC of .27 and along with that a charge for that darn drug i cant seem to quit....so somethin's gotta give here and i truly honestly know that this is the season for change and boy i need to before there aint nothing left of me... i've lost a tremendous amount of weight also, size 13 to size 0-3 in 6 months...and i think what keeps me running back is the fact my husband keeps expressing the fact that he absolutely LOVES me skinny like this...so theres my lame excuse for continuing to destroy my body...if any one has any suggestions i'm a really good listener when im not spun out.... my husband and I have high expectations when he's released to be that upper-middle class family, with 2.5 kids and dog, the fence, the whole 9 yards...basically his parents our role models for us which is a shame that he ended up the way he did.... so people can stop blaming drug addictions on your living conditions as a kid, or religious fellowships, with 2 loving parents in a virtually crime-free neighborhood, basically the only crime was by my husbands doing it seems., but all that is a crock. I am a drug addict plain and simple and need help desperately... well not that desperately but something that will work would be great....thanks for letting me "go off" on a tangent but Im ready to end this... i hope.:help:

I have been clean for 12 years now since the day I found out I was PG with my son. I do live in the meth capital of the world(riverside ca) I had to leave my childrens father had no place to live all while clean and sobor I thought shit while I was using at least I had a place to live but I had to think of my kids. Know I am married 5 years to a man who has NEVER touched any drugs EVER! (thats one of the reasons i married him) I do see the biological father of my children every once and a while riding his bike tweeked out still! Then I say a prayer that my son is my saving grace without him I might be dead and I am so blessed with the life I have so hang in there each day is what it is and live it one day at a time remember only you can help you and no one else!!

Well if you are truly ready to end the downward spiral, have you considered dropping everything and checking into detox/rehab ?
Being skinny is no excuse to kill yourself with drugs. Im not trying to be mean and I could tell you think its a lame excuse anyway. You do know there are no sizes below zero ?
When it comes down to the line, it doesnt matter what your husband dreams of for the future, or if you are skinny or not. You dont have a future if you keep doing what you are doing. What matters is you and your life right now, not his hopes and dreams. Im sure you have thought about where you will be in 10 months when he is released. If you stay on the track your on you will destroy not only yourself but him too if he sticks by you. You cant just convince yourself you will quit on the day he is released or something like that either, that will not work.
You need to do something for yourself and do it right now.
Please keep us posted and you will be in my prayers.

My son is doing prison time because of meth entering his life....and in my little town....there have been three child deaths related to their parents use of meth, just within the last year . The three individual deaths were all beaten to death....just a real sad thing.....real sad....

I used for about a year, and PRAISE GOD!! I have been clean for 16 months. If you are really serious about staying clean, you can do it. As for me I looked up for my strength and took some classes and now am a happily ordained minister, go figure. Thru God all things are possible. Good luck and God Bless.

Stay strong, you can do this. I tried meth a few times but it made me really sick. My brother and sister-in-law were both hooked on it. I saw the way it changed them. Meth is a very scarey drug. I used to smoke pot all the time so I kind of understand what it's like to live each day with out it. I know that meth is soooo much worse than pot but just remember that it isn't worth it. You don't want to lose your whole life because of this. My sister-in-law lost here daughter to CPS because of her addiction. They have both been clean for about a year now and she finally got her daughter back. If you are having a hard time feel free to pm me. I'll pray for you. God Bless You!

I have stayed clean for about 16 months now from everything including alcohol. Addiction is a disease. I know that I have a disease that I need to treat. I attend 12 step meetings and have found that this helps me tremdously! The support I receive there is exactly what I need. The meetings are not run by counselors or staff. They are all addicts/alcoholics coming together to recover from addiction. We actually have fun sometimes too! On Labor day of this last year, I went to Hawaii with about 20 members for 9 days and we had a blast (clean!) Life is not over when you stop using!
Good luck to everyone in their recovery!

I can honestly say I have not tried any of the harder drugs.but I have seen the suffering and ruin caused by meth and other drugs among people I know,... some family.
My heart goes out to each and everyone of you who are fighting the fight to get off these drugs.Keep on keeping on ..you will win:)

I am currently attempting recovery for the sixth time. I have used meth since i was about 11 and i am now 21. I was raised in an enviroment that drug using and dealing wasn't just o.k but it was our way of life. My parents have since quit using and i am now a mother of two little boys. My mother has guardienship of my oldest son and County c.p.s. has my youngest. I have been trying to quit using since i was about 15 but every time i try i get 3,4,5,6,7 months clean time and i always relapse. This time I need to maintain my sobriety to get back custody of my children before i lose them forever and i've been doing alright but i continue to relapse like always. I have to stop rolling the dice and chancing it when it comes to my children. I have been to many different recovery homes and programs but i haven't suceeded yet. I am about to enter another live-in program thats a year long,and i am hoping that since its so long a program and at least an hour and a half away from my home town I will finally have a program of sobriety. I wish that i never got into doing meth but thats the past and i have to move forward with my life.

I sincerely wish you all the luck, support and prayers and I hope that this will be the chance and opportunity that will turn your life around. HUGS

Ill keep you in my prayers. God Bless~~~brandi

Well said, eloquent and truthful.

Meth is the straw that broke the camel's back. It's the reason my son ended up in prison. He had never been violent before he used meth.

Done that ... am a grateful recovering addict from 21 yrs of multiple addictions ...

My exhusband lost his life to this drug .. If you haven't read his story ... You can find it here http://www.scotty-simmons.memory.com

I used crystal meth with my hubby during his active addiction before incarceration. I do not consider myself an addict as I could take it or leave it. It's been almost 8 months since my last hit of meth via IV, which scared the crap out of me. I thought I was dying. Hubby recently admitted he was trying to 'scare' me from doing it anymore, and gave me a 1/4 gram shot at once.

I used to use crack and that was realy hard to get clean I know the urges and the dreams and the night sweats realy well, what helped me to over come these was a programe called 75 days by todd gibson you can get it from this site (web site removed please contact member for information) it works it is the only thing that I found that does work. good luck to you.
mazuk

I was on Meth for a long time. My boyfriend was making it, so it was so easy to come by. Then it just kind of took over. We started having all kinds of problems, he was never home, out there doing only God knows what and with who. Then he went to jail and we worked through our problems. He's doing 18 months here for all of it and we don't know how long in Illinois. I have been clean now for 8 months and I'm so glad I quit.

Congratulations, keep it up, one day at a time !!

My man and I used meth for about a month or so, and I truely believe it is the worst drug out there you can do. Not only is it totally addicting, but I have always thought it brings out the worst in people. Stay away . . . stay far, far away.

I tried it once but my man used to be on it real bad and it made him mean i wouldn't even talk to him if he had been awake for more than 2 days he's clean now and lookin a lot better he actually got some meat on his bones but his dad just found out he has some kind of lung disease from somkin so much meth

Well Im glad he cleaned up but very sad for you that he is having lung problems. Unfortunately that is one of the problems with doing meth. I hope it isnt serious.

It is very hard to quit after you have been using for a long time. I have been using for 30 years, and I still have problems quiting. My boyfriend is in prison for possesion of it. It was less than a quarter gram, but he is a third striker so he ended up getting 32 months. He has to do 80% of his time so he still has a little under 2 years to do. The worst part is that he was using with me, but the stuff was mine. When the police came in he had just picked it up and was scolding me for leaving it out. The cops asked whose it was, and I froze. They said that we both would be arrested if someone didnt fess up. My boyfriend then said it was his. I have never been arrested for drugs, so I would have received a program. Alot of people think he is just as guilty, because he had been to prison enough times, that he shouldnt have been around it or been using meth at all. Either way, I feel very guilty, and I miss him terribly, and its all due to meth. You would think that would be enough to make me quit huh? So, it just goes to show you just how powerful the drug is. He got clean before he went to prison. I had better get clean before he comes home.

So Shawnie, first off thank you for your post and your honesty. But I cant help myself, I need to ask, how much more do you need to happen in your life and to those you care about in order to get you to get clean ? Im not asking as someone who is ignorant to this, Ive been clean for quite sometime and I know exactly how hard it is to take that first step. He cleaned up before he went to prison, how can he come back to you if you are still using ? He wont be able to parole to you if you are still using. If you are interested and I suspect its in your mind,,,,otherwise you probably wouldnt have posted this, so if you are interested in taking that first step, pm me and I will do whatever I can to find you a list of resources that you can turn to for help. You obviously care for this man, otherwise you wouldnt feel guilt, and you are right, you need to clean up before he comes home but will you do it for yourself and not him? Anyways the offer is open, just private message me and I will do all I can to find the resources for you and you can decide from there. Please keep us posted.
p.s. I have to be honest with you, your post brought tears to my eyes, Ive been in your shoes and I know its a scarey step but please take it !!!

well i have never done it but i have sniffed coke n my love thought i would get hooked so i stoped after i used five times just cuz you use doesnt mean anything ppl like what they like n shouldnt be judged for it thatz the way i see it

yes people like what they like but unfortunately some, sorry, many people become addicted and as a result ruin their own lives as well as the lives of those who love them. That is not a judgement, its a fact.
p.s. Welcome to PTO Robertz wifey

I have used it 3 or 4 times. This was over 4 years ago. It was always because a guy I was with had some. Not that anyone held a gun to my head!

Once, at a get together, 1998, I snorted some meth. The guy I was with made sure my line was very much smaller than the rest of the people there ( he had been addicted and in prison for it, so he knew how easy it was to become hooked)
I do not think I would have done it if things had been better in my life at that time. So, yeah I tried it, we were up all night, and about 7 am i was coming downnnnnn...For weeks after that I could still "taste" it...The guy I was with told me several times after that to NEVER do that again, if i was still tasting it then next time I would get hooked for sure. I thank him for being there, because I believed him and did not ever do it again. But i can relate easily to those who have and are using...its a very addictive drug...Congrats to those who have beat this addiction!!!

I have tried it a few times but my drug of choice seemed to always be crack. Trying real hard to stay away from all of it.

You just dont stop trying to stay away!!

I am not an addict, but i work with addicts 5 days a week. I admit when i was a teen to trying stuff, but it never really caught on. Anyway: I have seen exactly what Meth can do to someone, People come in to the detox. program, and when they leave they are compleatly different. It's like night and day. Meth, is one of the hardest drugs to withdrawl from. The withdrawl will last weeks if not months. of hard core sickness. (depending on how much you use and how often) Due to that alot of people would rather just use than be sick for so long. Which is sad. Addiction is a disease and just like any disease it takes ALOT OF HARD WORK. to pull through, and then you still have to deal with it everyday for the rest of your life


FOR EVERYONE WHO IS CLEAN: congradulations!!! It is a hard thing to do. you should be proud of yourselves. Good luck!!

FOR EVERYONE USING STILL: Once you do decide to take the first steps to "quit" it will be hard, but you have to stay focused only on your recovery, and nothing else. And in time, you will feel better about yourself because you have accomplished a very hard task. Good luck to your attempst at getting clean, And if you relapse which happens, dont' get discourages, there is help out there and you are always welcome to it. All you ahve to do is be willing to get it.


GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE!!!

Both of my sons has used meth along with prescription drugs and several other drugs. One is in correctional facility in drug relase program in Alabama and has been
on drugs of some type for over 10 years,been in rehab,boot camp,court referral programs,in jail several times and hopefully being where he is at now maybe life will be better when he gets out. The other son 33 years started out with alchol at age 16 and many problems but he got it under control later on, got hurt on job left him disable and got addicted to every type of pain meds that he got but got real bad on oxci started going to methdone clinic to help him it did in some ways but got to expense...wife left nearly 3 years ago took up with another man this produce some problems back to drinking and drugs...we are waiting on room in rehab center in Birmingham. Got him out of jail recently drug possession,went to court with him on dui charge at another county....so I just hope one day the sun will start really shinning on my family and both of my sons will get better be able to say NO NO NO
to drugs and alchol. May God Bless All.............mother1052

Now that I think about it I used crank for a year, along with cocaine, whichever I could get my hands on, that was at the time I didnt know what meth was, I am semi clean and been for about 5 years, been on and off!

I had been clean for one year and I got the nightmares and all that you speak of, good luck and if needed get counseling!

I was a huge meth user. i was living with "cooks" so i had an unlimited supply. I finally made the choice to go to treatment November 12th 2004. i have been clean every since. I still have hallucinations. but i feel so much better. congrats to all who are clean.

i was on meth alot longer than i want to say i was up to 3 to 4 grams a day it would take me 4-ever to write the things that went wrong in my life but when i decided to get clean i thought i would never be the same everyday i would wonder what there was to look forward too it use to be the foil just to get a hit but i finally got over that with time but i have to tell you i can still taste it and the craving is not nearly as bad but i believe it will always be there just dont give up it takes a very strong and determined person to get off of meth its the worst drug ever hang in there

I Used And Abused Cocain And Meth Through Out The 80`s And Part Of The 90`s. I Somehow Never Got Addicted, Thank God! I Stopped Cold Turkey When The Physical Pain Got To Be Too Much (nose). My Brother On The Other Hand Has Been An Addict For About 20+ Years. He Has Had A Pretty Hard Go Of It, But Now That He`s Locked Up He`s Doing Great. I Hope You Have Some Kind Of Support! Stay Strong, You`re Worth The Fight!!!

Li`l Sis.

i had used meth approx. 1 year but now i have given up

I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana
I too, am a recovering meth addict. I hae been clean now for 8 years! I know its hard probably the hardest thing you can imagine ever doing right now. But believe me when I tell you IT DOES GET EASIER!!!! Hang in there. I promise it will. You can do it! I am here all the time. PM me if ya need to talk vent cry or whatever. I am here. If you do I will give you phone #'s ok.

I am proud of you for taking these first difficult steps!

Its been three years since I used "METH" and I still feel the effects of it. You lose alot of your mentallity and you can't fix the damage to your mind once it's done! I know alot of people who were/are addicted to this drug and everyone of them have the same after effects. I thought I would be O.K. and my life would go back to being normal again but to make it simple I still can't keep my head straight! Those of you who have been addicted to this drug will understand. Those of you who have never done this drug please DON'T. It's not worth it! I'm crying as I type this because I know how much your life will be torn apart by this drug. I pray that I never have to worry my children will touch this drug. It scares me to think that by the time my children are teenagers that there may be something worse than "METH"!

Abslady, welcome to PTO. I have seen the direct effects of this drug on people I care about also, and I have had to remove myself from them... it is definitely NOT a drug you want to start or even try. I am so glad to hear that you have been successful in being a recovering meth user. I know it is a tough road, but I have faith in you!! Heaven forbid, there is anything worse than meth when your children grow up!!! Hugs!!!

I don't want to get off on a tangent, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. I am a recovering addict, and know other addicts, both ones that are in recovery and ones that are still using. I have to say that in my opinion, this is one of the worst drugs to recover from. I've used a lot of different drugs in my past, and this is the ONLY one I've ever had a problem with, as in trying NOT to do it. I used for about 5 years, and during that time, there were about 2 1/2 years where my usage was almost constant. In the midst of all this, I honestly saw no problem with it, and thought for sure that I was totally in control and could stop whenever I wanted. That didn't turn out to be the case at all. I neglected my bills, lost my apartment, and almost got my children taken away. Obviously there was a problem, I just couldn't, or wouldn't, see and accept it. I quit my regular using almost 3 years ago, the day I got pregnant with my twins. I did really good, was clean for almost 2 years, and relapsed 2 or 3 times, but thankfully I kicked myself in the ass for it and things are okay for me now.
I can NOT stress enough how bad this drug is. Everyone I know, if they're talking about doing it, I try like hell to keep them from making that mistake. I went from a loving parent with my shit together to someone who spent all my bill money just to get high. I've lost good friends because of stupid stuff you do when you're messed up....accusations, bad judgement, and bad decisions. I have friends who are in prison because of it. I have friends who have been in rehab multiple times. I have friends who've lost their children and the rest of their families, because it becomes all consuming, and you don't even realize it's happening.
My best friend and I did it together almost all the time in the few years I used heavily and she changed in to a completely different person than the one I first met. She's now a convicted felon and on probation and corrections because of stuff she did while she was using and stuff she did to obtain money in order to KEEP using. We couldn't even be friends for literally years because of the things she did and the fact that she took advantage of everyone in her path, myself included. We are back on talking terms now, and we spend time together, but when she relapses, we can't be around each other because everything goes right back to the way it was before.
There is absolutely NOTHING in this world that is worth losing in order to be high like that. It may seem like it at the time, but in a sober light, your perception is totally different.
All I can say is that it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to try and conquer, and I STILL struggle with it a lot. I wake up sometimes and can't stop thinking about it, sometimes I can taste it out of nowhere, and there are times when it affects me physically....I've gone thru the nightmares, I've gotten a bloody nose more than once after smelling acetone or something like that, and sometimes just the thought of it makes my arms cramp up and I get shakey and feel like I can't catch my breath. I can't think like I used to, and sometimes I forget things that are everyday knowledge for me.
So that's my story in an abreviated version, and I understand what a hard road it is to recover from it. All I can say is that if you haven't ever done it, PLEASE PLEASE don't, because it can and will ruin your life and the lives of those who love you. If you are currently using, all I can do is urge you to stop and think about what you're doing and what the long-term effect is going to be. If you are in recovery, no matter whether it's 2 weeks or 20 years, all I can say to you is I admire your strength and courage and I hope you realize how much your life is worth. It's always hard, but it DOES get easier, especially when you let the good things in your life (children, school, work, family, friends, etc...) take the place of all that you're fighting against. :) Message me if you want to talk or know more! Have a great day!

MuhBabyJesse,
Thank you for posting your story and the truth about Meth. You are so right!!! I am glad you have stayed clean for this time, and I praise you for kicking the evil monster meth is!!! Stay strong, love your kids, keep on shining!!! It is one of the hardest, if not THE hardest drug to 'kick'...and you give all who are trying to quit the inspiration to do so!! Again, I praise you and thank you!!! Hugs! Bless you!

<hides in the back and barely rasies hand>. started at parties when i was 15 years old. first boyfriend (i was 16, he was older) was a major dealer. my daughter saved me, i quit when i became pregnant at 19. walked away from that lifestyle and never looked back, thank god, because i would not be here today if i would have kept that lifestyle. i've seen a few people i knew from back then that i can tell they are still doing it and they look 20 years older than i do.

I used to and I have to tell you now after not touching it in a good 8-10 years and all I have seen it do to my ex the thought of that nasty wired feelin and the lifestyle that often comes with it makes me ill,I couldn't stand to feel like that again!

((((((Cali)))))))) glad you have stayed off of it now!!!!!! Congrats!!!!!

Hi,
I am glad that you started this thread, I WAS a big meth user and I went through all of the withdrawls. I used for more then ten years off and on and during those ten years my life was a living hell! I didn't like myself at all and I was VERY unhealthy, weight, emotional, and mentally. Not to mention my physical health.
I have now been clean for 8 years and it is very important to me to stay clean! Even through all the nightmares and through the wanting still to this day it is important for my kids and me to be clean.
My husband when I got clean thought that I left him behind and thought that I was a trader. He has just gotten clean again and thinks that he was the one that was so wrong now.
Using put my problems to the side for a little while and when I would come down they would still be there. It was so hard just to face life day to day.
To this day I still have things come up from my past life of being a drug user, but I now take care of them and try to be the best person I can be.
Really, you can do it and you can really get into life!
Good job being clean! Stay away from it, your life just goes the wrong way on it. You are the one that can change your future no one else can do it for you.

I think I posted before but yes I used Meth one, crank, back before it became a huge epidimic like it is now.

Well Monkey, glad you are off it now!!!! It is a mess now, meth is a nightmare!!

yes it is, I sat here one night and was reading these over and I thought omggggg I did Meth and was like wow that was when noone really knew what it was and before it was a big deal!

Ya'll please forgive me for being short - BUT I hate friggin meth! As much as my son AND my family went through meth is what did him in. I could deal with smoking pot. I personally don't do drugs but I know so many that would be better off smoking a joint than drinking a beer. But when someone introduced my son -- not just some kid --- my son --- to meth ---it changed our lives.

I've read that it is the most addictive drug!!! More than heroin, cocaine, crack. I don't know if that's true, What I do know is living in our poor Aldine side of Houston it's everywhere. And not just with the kids. I hear about women who don't know any better and do it for weight loss and energy and get hooked! And it pisses me off that these poor young people don't know what they're getting themselves into.

Monkey - You deserve so much credit for getting off that crap and being clean for so many years! God Bless You!

Sorry ya'll - just a parents pain still surfacing!

Janice

wow...i havent had a chance to catch up with all the threads ,but i hope the one who started this is doing better.....all i can say is through all my drug addictions (and there were many ) i never saw the light and was suicidal...until i hit bottom and cried out for GOD. i have detoxed off many things plenty of times..was mainly a heroin addict/ speed balls...anything i could cook in a spoon (pills ect..) and then wehn i would come off all that on my inbetween NON ADDICT RUNS I SLAMMED SPEED INTO MY HANDS..MY POINT being..alot of never thought /or think we have a problem w/one drug as long as we can stop/but we usually substitute...and beyond any sense of reality.. LIKE I SAID I HAD BEEN LIVING IN A HELL...but nothing like the one i got a glimpse of or ever want to see again..i thank the lord for my recovery thru him everyday...nothing else has ever worked for me personally until i decided to be set free by his blood. its an effort in the beginning..a warfare,,but it is possible...and im here to prove it..after many o.d/s and suicide attmpts.. i hope u all find the peace in your life you can have and deserve to have , no matter what you have ever believed about yourself........YOUR WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I have never acually been addicted to meth but i once had an experience with it a few years ago. At that time i wasnt even sure excally what it was. I just happened to be with some ppl who were doing it and decided to try it, totally nieve to what it acually does to a person. I ended up staying on it for 5 days straight. Even tho i consider it 8 days bc it took me 3 more days to come off of it and acually be able to eat, sleep and fuction like a normal human being again. It was horrifying. There were times during those 8 days that i acually thought i was going to die and times that i thought i would never be quite 'right' again bc of the side effects. Not the mention my neglecting all the responsibilities in my life without even really noticing it. Needless to say, I will NEVER make that mistake again.
Congratulations to all of u who are beating the addiction although my experience was one that made me never want to touch it again, i do understand how many can become addicted and how hard it must be to become clean so congrats and good luck to all of u.

My husband is an IV meth addict currently incarcerated.

I have used meth with him....not for the high - but for him (then enabler I was)

I can let you know of a good meth support site if anyone ever needs it. It has a lot of loved ones, addicts, and recovering addicts.

All of you who have used and beat the demon could help a lot of struggling individuals there.

I was an IV meth user also I did this for about 7 years luckily I was able to keep my life together and to hide it from my kids. It isnt something that I am proud of but like I always say all of my mistakes and the road I've traveled makes me who I am today. Right now my sister is still using and looking at a 10 year prison sentence for 52 grams that did not even belong to her she is only 27. It is a very destructive drug and takes over fast. I cant say that I don't still have cravings today its been about 5 months since I have done it, I guess it will always be that monkey on my back.

Hello, and congradulations on quiting. I too had a meth problem, i did it for 9 years and got mixed up with a lot of the wrong people and started doing crimes. I got so sick and tired of all the people places and things and was so desprit to quit i sent myself to prison ( I had a warrent out for my arrest, turned myself in and when the judge said probation and drug court i told him i do to many drugs for drug court, so i went to prison for 2 years. It was drastic but i knew if i didn't seperate myself totally from it all i wouldnt be able to quit. I was clean for 3 years and last week i fell off the wagon and got high, but let me tell you it was totally diffrent! It wasnt "fun" like it used to be and made me sick, but it did make it possible for me to be able to say without a shadow of a doubt that i will NEVER touch the stuff again!! It isnt worth it. Keep your head up!! YOU CAN DO IT!

Wow I hope that is the way I feel if I ever do go back to it. I am so scared for my sister right now she is facing prison time (10years) in AZ for driving a car with a passenger who had 52 grams of meth. I hope this opens her eyes. thanks for your story it gives me hope,cuz if I could I'd probably do it. You are a very strong person I admire your strong will and determination.Pam

Never, ick, eww. All drugs lead to a destructive path, but some are particularly evil and meth is one of them. I can't stand the smell, the way people act on it, what it does to people once it hooks them....and it doesn't seem like it takes very many uses at all to hook a person, which is scary.

I have a friend who used to have a wife and a kid and a business and now he lives under a bridge and meth is to thank for that.

yes it is, I sat here one night and was reading these over and I thought omggggg I did Meth and was like wow that was when noone really knew what it was and before it was a big deal!

I didn't realize for a long time that meth is crank with a new name. I remember that stuff being around when I was a teenager, but hardly anyone messed with it. Not like now, where it's a damn epidemic.

I lived in the Phoenix area for a while, where it is EVERYWHERE. I saw a woman leave her baby at a bus stop to go around the corner and get high. She just kept on walking after that until the police took her.

I hate the stuff. It took two people I cared about a lot and hasn't given them back. :(

Hello, I'm knew to this, and I just got done reading what you wrote. I wanted to tell you that your not alone, and thank you for sharing your story. I'm a recovery addict for 12 yrs on meth, I've been clean going on December 23 for 2 years. I didn't think I could ever quit, as deep and funtional I was. I went from middle class, to homeless within months. Each day is still a challenge, but I went into recovery program for 6 months and then went to Transitional housing now I have my own place, my kids back, and have a really great paying job. But like I said there's hope, you just have to be able to fight those demons, and I know from experiment it's the toughest thing to do, You have to have the right sources to continue with your sobriety and let go of the people who you hung around with, I had to do it, and it was hard but now if I run into them, they look up to me, which makes me continue to be strong. Also not only did my kids make a differnce but my husband who's been locked up for 4 yrs now, has also been my inspiration to continue to be strong. Keep trying it will eventually get better for you. Just know that your not alone, and it can be done. Good Luck!:)

I lived in the Phoenix area for a while, where it is EVERYWHERE. I saw a woman leave her baby at a bus stop to go around the corner and get high. She just kept on walking after that until the police took her.

I hate the stuff. It took two people I cared about a lot and hasn't given them back. :(

I just moved from phoenix in Feb and you are so right it is bad there my sister and ex are there and are addicts. My sister is supposed to be going to Terros tomorrow I pray she does.

I just moved from phoenix in Feb and you are so right it is bad there my sister and ex are there and are addicts. My sister is supposed to be going to Terros tomorrow I pray she does.

I hope she does too. I'm sure there is plenty of it in the Dallas area where I live, but there you can SEE it everywhere - it's awful.

She might need to move to somewhere where it's not in her face all the time.

That is what I had to do I moved to Ohio and I feel really bad because I was the only person she could go to and now she is all alone. I just had to get away from AZ after my b/f was arrested not only because of the drugs but also my ex husband he is an addict and still thinks I belong to him. Things get crazy and out of control when you get addicted to that stuff.

I think that area is crazy and out of control in general. In 6 months I encountered drugs (to a much higher degree than where I grew up), gangs, etc. I have no idea why so many people are moving there (except the weather - it's pretty fantastic).

I'm glad you moved and your sister could move with you if she wanted, couldn't she?

I understand the guilt of leaving someone behind.

I know what you are going trough. Its hard to quit. I know i was clean for a year and 3 months. Until i got around the wrong people. And now im babys daddy is doing time for and drity UA and he just out 2 months and i strungly with it and he is more than likly going to have to do SAFP or 2 years.

I used meth for a few years and it nearly took everything from me!! I had to take my life back and it proven to be harder some days than not but it's all worth it. I allowed this terrible unmersiful drug to take me places I thought I'd never go. I'm clean now going to school being mommy. I'd never change my past... for it has made me who I am today!!!!!!!!

I found this little poem in rehab a few years ago....... it's all true!!



I destroy Homes
I tear families apart
I take your children
And thats just a start
I'm more valued than diamonds
More precious than gold
The sorrow I bring
Is a sight to behold

If you need me I’m easily found
I live all around
In schools and in town

I Live with the rich
I live with the poor
I live down the road
And maybe next door
I’m made in a lab
But not like you think
I can be made under your sink
or in your child’s closet
or even in the woods

If this scares you to death
Well it certainly should
I have many names
But, there’s one you know best
I’m sure that you have heard it
My name is crystal Meth

You may never break free
My power is awesome
Just try me. You’ll see
JUst try me once
And I might let you go
But, try me some more
And I’ll own your soul

When I possess you
You’ll steal and you’ll lie
meth speak.

You do what you have to
Just to get high

The crimes you’ll commit
For my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure
You’ll feel in your arms

You’ll lie to your mother
Steal from your dad
When you see their tears
You won’t even feel sad

Just forget all your morals
and bow you were raised
I’ll be your conscience
and teach you new ways

I take kids from parents
and parents from kids
I'll turn people from god
and separate friends

I'll take everything from you
Your looks and your pride
I’ll always stay with you
Right by your side

You’ll give up everything
Your family, your home
Your money and friends
I’ll take and I’ll take
Till you’ve no more to give

When I’m finished with you
You’ll be lucky to live
If you try me be warned
This is'nt a game
If given a chance
I’ll drive you insane

I’ll take control of your mind
I’ll own you completely
Your soul will be mine
meth speaks
The night mares I’ll give you
While your laying in bed
The voices you’ll hear

From inside your head
The shakes and the and the sweats
and the visions you’ll see
I want you to know
They are all gifts from me

By then it’s to late
You’ll know in your heart
That you are now mine
and we’ll never part

You’ll regret you tried me
They always do
But, you came to me
Not I to you

You knew this would happen
Many times you’ve been told
But, you tested my power
You chose to be bold

You could have said no
and then walked away
If you could do it over
Now, what would you say

I’ll be your master
You’ll do as I say
Even when I tell you
To go to your grave

Now that you've meet me
What will you do
Will you try me or not
It’s all up to you

I’ll show you misery
Than words can tell
Come take my hand
AND I’LL TAKE YOU TO HELL!!!!

Excellent poem. I love the last line because I believe the drug to be evil - straight from Satan.

Myself I have never touched this drug but I have seen first hand what it has done to my daughter. She was a good child growing up, actually she was beautiful. Today I see her from time to time because she has become a thief and cares nothing about anyone-not even herself-she just wants the money or means to get somemore and doesn't care how she does it. She has become dirty, stringy greasy hair and she smells bad. Her teeth are almost all rotted out and she has sores like i've never sen before in my life. I'm told this is how an addict lives, I don't know. Someday soon I pray she will find her road home and I will help her everyway I can. But she has to make the first move to actually want to change and find recovery. I just love this site! I can talk from my heart about everything wrong in my life and it doesn't look or feel like I'm being judged badly. Thank you.

I've never used meth, but my boyfriend was and still is an addict, just recovering. Its just like an alcoholic, once you are, you always are. It changes your mind completely and I totally understand. I pray for you to stay clean and I know you will do fine! Its hard for Jeremy. Being in prison to me is worse than on the street. There are a bunch of people around you doing it in a very polulated but small area, instead of being on the street where you could walk away or something. I know its hard to just walk away.. so I dont mean to be negative to offend you. Keep your head up and smile. It will be okay.

Once your hooked it's almost imposible to stay clean. I don't associate with anyone who does drugs in any way , shape , or form. I've lost alot of people in my life to drugs and alcohol. Suicides, overdoses, liver problems. My ex ( the father of my 14yr old is currently in Federal for possesion with intent). Methamphetamine. Going to drink a protein shake now and work out. Healthy body , healthy mind......:thumbsup:

I personally have never done meth, but know many that have and still do. Right now, a very good friend of mine is dying as a result of meth use. As a result of his meth use he developed epilepsy, and now has an inoperable brain tumor. Sad...

I Myself Have Never Used Meth, But Like Many I Do Know People Who Did And Still Do Use It. It Is Very Very Sad What The Drug Will Do To A Person, Mentally, Physically And Emotionally.

my mom got me on drugs at the age 15.i am now 38 years old.three days before thanx-giving i reunited with my mom and stayed at her place got a job @ albertsons,started living the way she sould of taught me at 15.i went to the doctor and she told him i was a user for 22yrs.and he gave me prozac.it's now been 2mnths and i still have'nt used meth since.i feel so good.i think the prozac?or my mom just being a mom helped??????

after 22 years i did it !

I havent ever used meth... My boyfriend how ever was really addicted to meth and i should say still is, even though hes in prison. Its a hard thing to get away from, its the devil in a needle. I have watched my entire family fall apart from this drug.. My step dad "the man who raised me" did 4 years in prison because of it.... My boyfriend -9 years in prion. my aunt and uncle lost their kids and did a year in prison apiece... My other uncle lost almost everything he owned, never did prison he was lucky at that time and didnt get caught but just yesterday he was found dead after being clean for 3 years.... and the list goes on from my boyfriends brothers to my cousins to more aunts and uncles... ITS HELL!!!!!! and thats what kept me away from it b/c everytime i thought life was too hard and it would take it allaway i thought of how much worse it made my life losing my family......

after 22 years i did it !

Congratulations! I have wondered if anti-depressants could help recovering addicts.

I know that meth messe up how your brain regulates dopamine and it seems to me an AD could help in the aftermath of that.

The pen-pal that I picked ended up being a meth addict and my stomach dropped. I hate that drug.

I wonder if he gets it or other stuff in prison? I wonder if he will get clean after over 10 years?

I like to read about success stories:)

I noticed some of you mentioned NA/AA. I wanted to warn you that AA/NA is nothing more than a cult....and statistics show that addicts that do not go to AA/NA have just as good a recovery success as those that do, meaning it doesnt work.
A big thing that bothers me about the 12 step program is it teaches you that you are powerless and makes you group dependant.
You are not powerless... I was a heroin addict for 13 years and beat it on my own...I tried for years in AA/NA and it didnt work...
They told me I wasnt clean if I was taking methadone treatments and I listened to them and tapered off the methadone which caused me to relapse back into heroin because I was so physically sick...so their Bull almost cost me my life..
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Are you still taking methadone now - is that what keeps you sober?

Hey, my prayers are with you!! I embraced the whole drug lifestyle until it put me in prison, Prison for me was my option other than death. I used, bought and sold like there was no tommorow, for years and some of the decisions I made 10 years ago I still pay for today. I have to realistically view any who would suggest doing it again or try to involve me with it as a solid threat to my family, their happiness and my life..I let it make me a very cold person and rob my life of every caring feeling i grew up with. If life were a rose it was like having a piece of glass between me and it..I could recognize it, but I couldn't enjoy the fragrance, I coudn't feel the softness of the petals the ridges of the leaves or the prick of the thorns. Im so blessed to be in the grace of God today. Most of the people that I knew during that time are in prison still, Dead, or have illnesses due to prolonged use. You can do it.. I believe you can!!!!!!!

Well i was very addicted to Crystal meth for 4 years.. started at a very very young age and it took my life over and ruined my family.Currently i have been 2 years clean since january from all drugs.I had overdosed 2 years ago on a massive amount of meth and went into a very very bad psycosis and nearly killed myself. Was in the hospital for 2 weeks cause of it and it was a huge wake up call.I lost all my friends,my job, my home and trust with all the members in my family.Like everybody says... Meth IS the devil. It ruins lives everyday. And its so sad to see people that are so addicted to it and know you cant do anything to help them because they are the only ones that can help themselves.Since i quit ive finished school and started taking the steps and schooling to become a drug and alcohol counseller for youth.Because the thought of helping kids even a little bit, to deal with their usage and addiction is just mind blowing.But for some, it isnt counsellers and treatment centers to help them, its them realizing the have a problem or possibly even hitting rock bottom...thats what it was for me.I quit with no help at all, yes i attend NA meetings and such, but i didnt go thru treatment or anything.It was the fear of what i had been doing to my family and nearly dying that was a HUGE wake up call.But if i can help kids before they hit rock bottom that would be such an amazing thing, at least in my mind. But the thing is.. I was an addict then, and i will always be an addict even if im not using.because like the saying goes..."Once an addict, always an addict."

I smoked meth for a couple of months back when I was a teenager. I ended up going to rehab and once I got out I never touched it again. My prayers are with you all who still struggle with "the devil" that is meth.

H, no way!!!!! I hate drugs, my son is in prison because of them.

I had been a cocaine abuser for 17 years and an Alcoholic and then I found meth and I thought I found the magic cure all. I got sober of the coke and the alcohol and oh my god was I in for the ride of my life. My man is indirectly in prison because of meth and yes I still think about using every now and then because it's one of those drugs that leads you to believe that it's not really a drug because you can accomplish so much. I was a functioning addict.. well my health started to detoriate and I am a very vain woman. I have been sober for about three months and am doing well. It does get better. Once the drug is out of your system it becomes a mind trip and that's where it should pretty much end. If you are only three months into using consider yourself lucky because most who start don't make it out....

I use acohol to pass out. I thought that would (what ever). Now I have a boyfriend (whatever). I 'm in transistion (whatever). I like cocaine better. (WHATEVER)

nEVER hAVE aND nEVER wILL uSE mETH oR aNYTHING eLSE.

I Don't mess with thing that can't offer me and my family a better tomorrow. things that alter your mind can't bring long term happiness. God, Love, and family can, pick one or all three your choice the sky is the limit. May the best be blessed in heaven and the rest get sober. Take good care of your happiness.

I have used crank(not long thank God) But Now I am stuck on methadone :( :( :(

I just want to say congrats to all of you who have fought the drug war and won!!! I have never used anything besides a little pot now and again but, my husband on the other hand has been using one form or another of drugs. He chooses the "speed" and I am totally against it!! He is a totally different person while he is "speeding" and when he is coming off of it. From what I understand he is not a constant user but an on occasion user. I could be blind, who knows! But, from my end I can tell when he is using. He constantly is accusing and fighting with me over the stupidest things! It is so disheartening. I am the most faithful to him and sometimes he just can't see it. He is my life long love that I have been looking so long for and I hate to say it but if he can't kick these habits then we are not going to make it long. I have two children to think about and they hate being in the "middle". They hear and see him fighting with me and it is just not an evironment to raise children. But, on a good note, when he is not using and it seems to have cleared out of his system then he is the man I know and love so well, the man that I keep waiting for when he is using. Like I said, I am not a user so I guess you could say I am under educated when it comes to the wants and the withdrawls of these deadly drugs. I am unsure of how to help him stay off of this. Is there really anything that I can say or do? I know when he is "himself" he seems to understand how he almost ruined us. But, maybe I am just teaching him that he can fall back on his habits and when he comes back I will be here. Maybe I need to just stay gone for a period of time. Who knows? Anyhow, he is awaiting the SAFP program so maybe this will help? Maybe this will make things worse? Time will tell and I trust in GOD because my hubby was brought to me through the act of him and he has a plan for us. I just hope I can hold on long enough to get the end results I am waiting for. Once again, congrats to all of you who have kicked the habit and my best wishes to those who are still fighting the demon. Hold in there and remember who does love you... GOD and your family!!

Meth would have killed me if I had not have gone to jail In jail the girls in my cell knew how to help with the withdraws, something i would never want to live through again. Nor do I think I could. I wan only on meth about 6 weeks, and it wreaked my life, landed me and my husband in jail. It's the devils drug of choice.

I have never touched any drugs in my life and I never will. I used to own a bar, prior to that I was never around it. Boy were my eyes opened in that place. I watched daily as peoples lives were destroyed! They lost everything, their jobs, cars, homes, children, spouses, everything. And after all that alot of them landed in jails and prisons. The worst of what I saw was the ones who also lost their lives. In such a small town this was going on! Drugs really impacted me because my ex also turned out to be a user, and in destroying his own life, he almost destroyed mine too. ALMOST because I got away from him!

I have only had issues with alcohol. I remember when people would talk about 8 balls and such. I am so ignorant when it comes to drugs (cause I never used drugs) that I thought they were talking about pool.............lol.

Reminds me of once I was hanging at this pool hall my dad used to go to, the bartender, as I was leaving, asked me to take the cue ball out of my pants he thought I was stealing. ... Sorry dude, This aint no cue ball. ... Ahem!

Meth would have killed me if I had not have gone to jail In jail the girls in my cell knew how to help with the withdraws, something i would never want to live through again. Nor do I think I could. I wan only on meth about 6 weeks, and it wreaked my life, landed me and my husband in jail. It's the devils drug of choice.
My 23 year old son got hooked on Meth and was busted and sent to Federal Prison but he is so thankful because he feels he would have been dead by now.When he got busted he had been up for 3 days and sitting in jail was so hard for him to go thur the withdraws he would call me crying that he was going insane and at one point i called the jail because he said he was just going to kill himself it was so bad for him so they put him in the hole so they could watch him.From Federal holding he went to Rehab for 45 days and came home a new person and has been in prison now for 15 months.
But as i said he is so thankful because he would have never gotten the help he needed on his own

I was addicted to meth for about 4 years. It started so innocently. My ex fiancee asked if I had ever done it. I said no. He begged me to do it with him. Said that it wasn't bad, all it would do is make us clean or have sex for hours. Well 3 days later he convinced me to do it. We had 1/4 gram for 2 of us & he was addicted to it. but that much kept us up all night & half the next day. I had to go to work & left early cuz I was tired & needed more. That was my sprial to hell. I started stealing to support the addiction. I stole my parents checkbook & wrote $3000 in forged checks. I went to jail many times. I was in jail probally 3 times and had meth in the pockets of my pants. I was so super lucky that I never got busted for meth.
I hid my addiction from everybody. I covered all the bases. I used at friends houses with them, didn't come home until I was "down". I didn't pick at my skin cuz I knew that is a sign of meth use. If I felt "itchy" I would put lotion on. I brushed my teeth to keep from getting "meth mouth" I would force myself to eat & I made myself sleep at least once a week.
Then I moved in with a dealer & his girlfriend. In exchange for meth I watched her son cuz she couldn't handle him when she was high & I could. So then using was easy. I had unlimited access to the drug, free reign if you will. And trust me I used it. It got to the point where I would only sleep maybe once a month. It was so bad I couldn't even make it thru a 4 hour visit with Tony(my husband) without using. I would sneak it into the prison in my pant pocket, bra, shoe however I could. This was after using about a gram on the 27 mile drive.
I finally got clean after I looked at my watch one day & noticed that I missed a visit with Tony & didn't care. I just wanted to get high. That was the end. It was a friday. I called my mom that night after not talking to her or any other member of my family for 4 months, moved back home Saturday, entered rehab on Monday.
I told Tony the whole story on Monday also. He was super pissed at me. But he stood by my side. It was not easy. In the first year of getting clean I lost my job & car. And a really good friend died of a meth overdose. That made me want to use. But I had to fight the urge.
As of this day I have been clean 2 years, 6 months, 28 days. November 13th,2004 is the day that I changed my Life

Congrats to all the others of you that have gotten off the devils drug.

Sorry that this is so long. I told as much of my story as I cared to share. Like all of you somethings have to stay in the closet.

Saratony2005,
I am left speechless, I am proud of you and I hope your life will be filled with new beginnings and that you never need to look back. I'm sure I can relate to some degree, but I'm not sure yet how. I haven't been addicted to any drugs, but I come from a family whom all have their battles with drugs of all kinds and drinking. I've been the care giver or the strong one who comes to bury them, I wish my love ones could come to where you are, I pray for your continued success in all the turns in your life. I'm glad you beat that demon!

My husband is in kyle SAFP, he will be out in four months.

Much love

If its one drug I haven't tried its Meth. I read and saw pics of before and after Meth users, it was a deterrent for me. I applaud those who have come out of it, it's hard, I know...to let go of something we like to do...

I was a meth user for 15 years. It took me 15 years to get one year of sobriety and it was HARD. I had to reach my bottom which in my case was homelessness and hustling and hoeing. I got myself into a sober house that I now manage. Went to meetings , got myself a sponcer , and took it one day at a time. Im still takin it one day at a time, but life is a blessing now and i have so much to be greatful for . Itll e ok stay strong and if you ever need to talk ...

I am very proud to say I have 12 years clean from meth. I just cann't look back. I stay focused on my future.I know I never want to live through that hell again.

I have been clean 5 months today. My hubsand has been clean 5 months and 2 days. Since he got arrested. It took me a couple days afterwards to realize that if nothing changes, nothing changes. My hubsand (not misspelled, nickname) and I believe that this was a case of God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. We both wanted to get clean, but not at the same time, and it was almost impossible for us to do it while we were together. But now we are both trudging the road of happy destiny, him on the inside and me on the outside. And we have agreed that if either of us pick up again, the other one will call the police on them. Believe it or not, that was HIS idea. I love him, but I cannot live with someone who is using ever again, If I use, I die. Bottom line. I love him, I am totally committed to our marriage, but not at the expense of my life. I go to meetings daily, and it's a fight, believe that. But I cannot forget the hell we were living or I will be doomed to repeat it. I choose life.

:D good girl! you came to your senses...i use to use but have been clean for4years now....you will feel normal but it does take time make a clean break from the people that use if possible...focus on jesus christ .. he will give you a changed life..... my husband is an addict...he's in jail now.. it took over his life.. it got to the point where he was not the same man.. im thankful they put him jail... i believe it saved his life...good luck to you

Wow, I have been clean from meth for about nine years now. Honestly, I'm not around it and haven't been so it's not so hard anymore. I was addicted hardcore for about 2 years and relapsed for about another 5. After the first 2 years of heavy use, it was really hard to get clean. I did keep doing it every once in awhile, but when I moved away, I haven't touched it again, and never will. I HATE this drug, and have seen alot of lives ruined. Please stay clean, and life WILL get better, I promise.

Thanks for the support... I have been clean for 3 years before, and 2.5 years before... the problem was that I forgot what it felt like.. and I had never lost everything before.. including my husband's freedom. One day at a time, I hope to stay clean the rest of my life.

I've been clean for 4 years this month. It was quit or lose my kids,I chose my kids. Everyday is hard, the harder days are the ones that I really think about doing it again. Then I see my kids and realize that I just have to keep going for them. I"ve done it all by myself with no support until I met David. He's my new reason to help me stay clean.:thumbsup:

I have been sober since my babe left ,it has been easy because he would not approve of me getting tweaked out, and days are long enough without having them run together ..ya know...Brovo for getting sober I am proud of you sister ..Just know that the insanity will always be there if you want it, but hang in there I know that it may seem like you get more done with "help"but speaking for myself I was quick to run in circles and maybe be a little productive ya know....That shit was and would be a major distraction to what is good in my life,my man <even though we are apart >his kids and family and work ya know...well I hate to drag ths out so type to ya later..

Wow, what a topic... I was addcited to meth and crack for 5 long years, LOST everything, which includeds my ex husband, 2 story home with loft upstairs, 3 car garage with apartment on the side of it,13 acres of land, 3 cars, 1 repoed, 2 to drug dealers,Lost close to $20,000 just in cash from my parents putting in a trust fund since birth,ended up with bad health that i never knew i had until i got sober...And i lost my self respect for myself, well being, great attitude,looks, Geez i can go on and on....My life was total wreak, i kept the addiction from my family for along time untill the noticed i wouldnt do anything with the family anymore,alwways had excuses..
I let a drug dealer move into my house so i always had it for nothing..It got to the point that i wasnt even taking care of my ownself anymore, I NEVER want to live that kind of life again!

But on May 16 2005 i did something very bad that could of killed me and alot of others, I did a high speed chase(Which got me a Felony3 on my record)While i was on meth(and for the ones that been on it knows what it really does to someone when they been up smoking for days after days with no sleep)I had no clue what i was doing...Ofcourse i went to jail stayed in detox for 12 days Sick as a dog ...
I been sober ever since, Yes it was very hard to deal with But i had to become the stronger one on that situation and fight my addiction and I DID just that!!
As of now I know i become a BETTER person, and i believe i would of never found out my true self if i didnt do the bad things that i did to become the person that iam today!!

No matter what we will always be addicts,but deep down in are hearts we know we can beat this!!
So for all the ones that are still suffering out there take it one day at atime and get ALL the support you can and be stronger then that monkey on your back to fight that addiction!

Sorry to be typing away :)

Good LUCK all And CONGRATS On Your SOBERITY!!!

Anita~

hey babylove...i know what you're going through, i started using meth at the tender age of 15, had a stint in rehab at 17, and now at 27 have been clean for 4 years.it's a hard long road, months after i quit i could occasionally taste and smell it...and sad to say but after prolonged use, you are a different person...i don't think as clear as i did before i used, i was paranoid a lot but it does get better and the cravings will ease up...have faith and good luck

Yeah that shit is really bad, I have used back when I was 14. I got completly off it by 16. And it was hard, i just cut it off cold turkey and every thing everybody i new that was associated with it. It is the only way to do it! My husband was started using it when he joined the navy, I was pissed! Then he got thrown in prison (present situation) for 13 Bank Robberies. It can change you from A-Z. I have seen the ugly face it takes and you are smart to run before it can distroy you because I guarentee it will. I thought I was done with it back 10 years ago. Then someone i loved used and I got thrown back into the mess of it, even though I chose not to use this time. It is sad.

I have been using meth on and off (during my pregnancies - 3) for about 15 years. I am a working single mother of 3 and I still use weekly. I usually do it in the morning before work - at lunch then again at night. I am almost divorced, have lost two homes that we owned together and am trying to get out of a physically abusive relationship that I have been in for about a year. (he is doing time for domestice violence). I believe it is a choice and one that I am still making. For some reason I want to focus on using and not on fixing myself. It's obvious only bad can come from meth - I have seen and I know personally every kind of person from homeless to career person and meth will destroy everything eventually if you let it. I try to stay in check but my standards have definately changed over the last 15 years. I just am sick of living for everyone else and pleasing everyone else - fuck it. I don't really give a shit what anyone thinks anymore. I only stay in check for my kids right now. Of course I am a "Say No To Drugs" advocate where they are concerned. I get real tired of being a slave to the drug and I do think about quitting altogether. But will never say that until I am really ready.

Using Meth destroys the "Pleasure" center of the brain, This is why you are having a hard time finding happiness or joy in anything else. I PROMISE you will get past it as long as you stay away from the meth completely. It will take time and you will have to be patient. I haven't done meth in 15 years, but I still dream about it and sometimes wake up with the smell and the taste all around me..... usually makes me throw up. I don't miss it! But it may always haunt me!

after seeing the effect drugs have had on my life from my fiance, i would never try it.. he was addicted to crack but regardless, i'm scared to. i don't want to hurt my family

after seeing the effect drugs have had on my life from my fiance, i would never try it.. he was addicted to crack but regardless, i'm scared to. i don't want to hurt my family

after seeing the effect drugs have had on my life from my fiance, i would never try it.. he was addicted to crack but regardless, i'm scared to. i don't want to hurt my family

ummmm no...never tried it, never will

Never!!

I had tried it (years ago)...& wasn't "impressed" with the effects. Thank God I never used it again...I have an addictive personality to some extent...& probably would've allowed it to consume & distroy my life. I have friends (a couple) that are facing 30 yrs. for conspiracy & intent to distribute meth (Fed. charges). Their whole lives (& their childrens) have beened ruined....turned upside down over this drug. It's just not worth it.

I myself have never used meth but my man has and I noticed the change in his mood and appetite so I accused him of cheating(especially when he didn't eat!!) he finally confesed to me when he went to jail that he was not cheating he was using drugs. I still feel betrayed because he wasn't there for me at my time of need (I was pregnant) and I also felt betrayed because he didn't tell me so I could get him help and he would be here with me right now. about a year and a half later I still cant find myself to forgive him and move past it can anyone help me?

Life does go back to normal. I have been clean from meth for 4 yrs. I spent my first six months in inpatient rehab. My advise to you is no its not easy and get a sponser and do the steps ASAP. I did the steps many times in my first year because new issues from my past would come back to me that I had forgotten because of memory lose and mental health issues. I did meth for close to ten yrs so I was VERY broken. Now I maintain a job, steady house and have healthy kids. GOOD LUCK too you. You can do it!

i used at leas a gram of ice a day for two years, and have been clean for 2 yrs now....to answer your question...no it doesnt get better, and you will never get that feeling back, however you learn to really cope with life instead of being in a geeked stooper all the time..just as nothing makes life easier, stopping using will not make it that way either. I overdosed three times, heart stopped beating once and was put in in treatment care facility for 4 months before i finally realized tha my baby, my life, my friends, and my family were important to me than anything else......one thing you must do is never, ever be aorund anyone who is using even if that means getting new friends..I know, I lost all of mine, but know what?? Today I'm happy, spending time with my son who is a straight a student....lif eis still hard but im taking that shit by the horns now, ya heard me??? Meth is the devil, I know, and have I stopped wanting it? Noooooo, and I never will, just like any other addiction, but youve got to ake your mind up that going through hell is something youve got to do sober...congrats on eing clean and good luck....if youre ever in need of advice of need anything let me know, if ayone knows the demon youre dealing with, I do...god bless you

I just want to give you props for realizing you needed to quit and actually doing something about it!
Congragulations!
Your one of the few that could still grab hold of who they were before the drug erased them of all they once knew.
My baby is in jail right now ((bout to be moved to prison)) and part of the reason is because of meth=(
He's better now though..been sober 15 months! =]]

I tried it once just to see what it does to a person to make them do some of the horrible things my hubby did when on meth. It did nothing for me. Maybe I didn't do it right or it wasn't really meth, I don't know, but it did not make me feel any different. My hubby was so addicted to it a few years back and I had to see what all the fuss was about. He almost lost his family over the stuff and I still can't figure out what the attraction is.

patswife4-ever I am with you....I tried it and nothing happen, i remember when I was young around 19 and my son father used to sell METH crystal rock and i was free-basing and I ran out and was waiting for the reup, and I try to smoke it and it was nasty I was mad(LOL)...then I tried to snort it and it did nothing at all....one day my sister and brother came over for some coke and I didn't have any so I gave them some METH and they wallpapered my bathroom all night(it was soooooo funny)....but the high was so boring, so maybe back in the 1980's it was different, or they puttting something in it to make people bug out now, I am 45 now and I stop free-basing when crack came out, and I did not like that at all, so thumbs up for me I have not touch drugs now for atleast 22 years....but like you said I don't understand that high at all......it was a good thing for the both of us, because people are loving that high!

Good for you Sanders01 for being drug free for 22 years!!:thumbsup: The thing with me is that I don't do drugs. I am so anti drug it is not even funny. Yeah, in high school I smoked a little:hee: but that was all. I headed the warnings in school about how drugs can kill you. Seriously, I thought if I put anything up my nose, I would just keel over and die :eek: I still feel that way. The only other reason I did it was because my sister did it and she did not die, LOL. ALTHOUGH we had to take her to the hospitale because she THOUGHT she was going to die!! How sad is that?!? Again, the MAIN reason I did it is because I wanted to understand what was so powerful that it would make a person steal and lie. When my hubby was doing the METH, he stole a digital camera from the next door neighbor and gave it to me for my birthday:nono: How sad is that?!? Of course the neighbor came to visit and saw her camera. I gave it back and was devastated that he would do something like that. Heck, the man stole from ME!! Well, anyway, he has been clean for 2years and I am hoping he is not being tempted in prison as he has told me it is easier and cheaper to get it there than on the streets!! Good luck to us all.. Take Care :wave:

congrats on getting clean and staying clean this long. its an every day battle and some day you will fell like using again, but its just the devil testing you...you have to stay strong for your baby and for yourself!!! i have used drugs like coc, weed, vicodine, and extasy and the ones i had the wrost problem was coc and then vicodines, i have been clean from coc since i was 18 years old and im 23 now and i have been clean off the vicodine since 11-27-07 so it hasnt been that long but i have to be honest with you, i feel like using them every single day i get up, staying clean is a hard thing to do but with the right people around you and positive things in your life you can do this honey!!!

stay strong and best of luck!!


~Christie

I was on meth for about 3 years...and it was hell...i have been clean for about a year and a half...and things are finally back to normal...i can sleep and eat normally...i dont think about it everyday all the time...it gets better...hang in there!!!

I've used meth for about 10 years and only quit when i was put in jail.Yes when its got ya,its got ya.But when i was coming off of it it wasn't that bad for me.At first i slept all the time,but after a month i was cool.

I have never used drugs but I have witnessed the devastation they can cause.

I used meth for about a year and my man used for at least 5 years. Amazingly he is not in prison for meth charges, he got charged with Forgery and Attempted escape(which he didnt do). We have both been Clean for almost 6 months, we decided that we would get clean and then a week later he got arrested for a warrant. I think God had a major part in him getting arrest because i honestly think that if he hadnt been in jail this whole time he would of used. Everyday is a struggle. Meth really is the worst drug every and like BudboyII said, when its got ya, its got ya. Even after 6 months i still have cravings and "meth" dreams sometimes. Its hard to stay strong all the time but it is all worth it, life is so much better without drugs.

I have used meth on and off for 10 years and was always my drug of choice, but I could take it or leave it. It made me super woman...I suffer from several mental illnesses one being o.c.d. and the meth made it easier to deal with my compulsions and many rituals. I havnt used in almost a year and thats okay too, I think its all in your mind also I dont have an addictive personality,which makes a big difference too. I just quit smoking cigs after 25 years, cold turkey and I wasnt even trying to quit, I just woke up one day and had no desire to smoke !

I've never tried meth, but I do smoke cigarrettes. Ugh, that addiction alone is a b*tch to quit, so I would never even touch anything else... Including alcohol. Thank God I can't stand the taste of the stuff, anyway.

With that being said, however, I can't bring myself to judge those who have used too harshly, and not just because of my addiction to nicotine. I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and sometimes it gets so bad I've actually had fleeting thoughts of self medicating, (ie; holding my nose and drinking a beer) just so I could get to sleep.

My son's biological father, come to find out after 17 years of searching, is in for possession. Like so many others, meth was his way of self medicating from the effects of the Bi Polar Disorder he suffers from. I just hope that with God's help he can stay away from it. Bless his heart. He and his family are in my prayers daily.

Ya don't have to hold my nose to make me drink a beer! ...:beer:
No, actualy, I quit drinking, or, I should say, God willing, I wont drink again.
I use to be on a lot of coke for several years, but quit that, along with pot but drinking, is by far, the hardest thing to quit doing.
For me anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~

:shrug:

i used and am so glad I walked away from it. The first time I used a rig was the last time i touched it. Drug free for almost 2 years and cigarette free for 8 months!!

I did meth for six months of my life and like that I gave it up cold turkey but I saw what it was doing to my HUSBAND who is sitting in doc now for the attempted manufacturing of meth and I realized I didn't like what it did to Me or what it was going to do to him. And like what was stated earlier everyone has different signs and symptoms. But for me it was easy, for my husband it was very hard it took him hitting rock bottom and us looseing everything to make him realize the drug wasn't worth it.All you need for any dependency problem is a good support group people who want to see you succeed and not fail and all will be fine for you . But I know I will keep you in my prayers cause the first snort wont be the last for someone recovering.Just keep remembering no matter what the problem will always be there after the drug wears off.
.

Never touched the devil's drug.

My husband was addicted t crack and i seen what he went threw, wich is why he is locked up today. I told him that drug will leave you dead are in prison, he sees now i was rite. I myself never had a prob with meth are crack, But mt husband did and my heart truley goes out to anyone fighting a horrible addiction of any kind of drug. I had to watch him fem, get sick, loose weight, he was violent when he couldent get the drug it was bad. I went threw it with xanax myself.. All I can say is Pray, Pray hard ask our God to help deliver you from such a dreadfill thing. Because in order for him to help us, we have to want to help ourselves. :thumbsup:

i used meth on and off since i was 15 -- i have been clean for 4 months and have no desire to use again -- thank God i still have my girls and have never been to prison i guess looking back i was really lucky --- i always considered myself as in control i always said i did i because i wanted to not because i needed it -- i have an ex-husband that is addicted to everything (he is the one i first used meth with) --my mom doesn't know nor will she ever know ---i have no idea why i posted here i guess this is my way of saying that i have been clean for 4 months and i intend on staying that way God willing --

i have been clean for 4 months and i intend on staying that way God willing --


This is what is most important!!!
The past is behind you and you have stated your future!!


I am proud of you! :thumbsup:

God Bless!

Never touched meth, but there are a couple others I experimented with.

Meth now that is something I know plenty about. First I would like to tell you CONGRATS FOR THE CLEAN TIME!!!!!!!!! I was clean for 17 years when speed reared its ugly head back into my life. I fell off my clean wagon and on the dirty trip of dope. I was so ashamed of my self after all I am a mother of a teenager and how tacky is that to have a child and a great home and be craving dope? Its discusting the habit is by far worse than my smoking habit. At any rate what woke me up is that fact that I have 2 best friends that I have had for over 30 years. We all had a dope addiction back in the 80's and all whipped it by seperating our selves from each other and by removing anyone in our life that did dope. Both of them woke me up again and told me the stuff thats out there now is not like what we had this stuff will kill you and they were right chest pain, metal taste in my mouth cause me to not eat well anyone who has had the misfortune of doing dope knows what happens from there. I walked away from it and tuned out the voice of satan who kept bringing it in to my desires. My husband is the one who brought it to me knowing I had all those clean years. He never stopped using and I saw him turn. The point I am getting at is no matter how long you have clean your never free from it if you put your self around anyone who uses. Speed kills joy and any happiness you have it breaks up families and reputations. I make it a practice to stay away from it all cost.

I Have Been Clean Since 2005. I Have A Much Better Life Now, And A Beautiful Daughter. No Drug Is Worth Me Ever Getting Back On And Loseing Everything I Have Worked Hard To Get Back!

Well i am a recoverig meth addict my self i used meth for 9 -10 years, and i have been clean now for 1 year and 7 months... I could not be happier though evryday is a battle to stay clean bt i now work with addicts and i Chair crystal meth annonymus meeting in my area.. My man is also in recovery, the clean time that he has comes form being i prison, i am scraed for him when he gets out.. But i know that with support he will be o.k. I pray for him and his addiction as well as i do for my own, God Answers all...

HELLO AND GOD BLESS!YOU TALK TO JESUS NOW BECAUSE I HAVE A SISTER THAT IS HAVING SEIZURES BECAUSE OF METH THIS IS A DRUG STRAIT OUT OF HELL!GOD CAN TAKE THE CRAVE AWAY.YOU HAVE TO WANT IT THO!ARENT YOU WORTH IT?YOU CANT LET THIS DRUG HAVE YOUR SOUL!!!

As I sit here and read all of your posts I find myself crying. I used meth for 15+ years. I tell people I can take it or leave it. I am not sure who I'm trying to convince others or myself. I don't hunt for it but if the opportunity presents itself I rarely find myself turning it down. My biggest problem when I am on it is that I see tree people! My conspirators and I always joke about that but it's actually not funny. I do it becuz I get things done, not just faster but better it seems where if I am not on it I have a hard time getting it done at all. The other major reason is that yes, it keeps my weight down. I have been single for years and don't want to be that way forever. (And I know that I have little to offer when I am on it so why would anyone subject themselves to that anyway, right?) I know I should want to be with someone who likes me no matter how much I weigh but that's not easier said than done. I only do it every so often and am actually presently trying to help a good friend stay away from it. I have even kept away from her to keep her away from it. Can you say "who needs the help?" Anyway, congratulations to all those who are making the effort, made the effort and are succeeding, and to all those who support all the ones who need it! For anyone who has never done it and can't understand for the life of them why anyone would who knows what it does please bite your tongue when you feel the need to speak up. You not knowing why is the exact reason you are not in the other person's shoes. The only way you could ever understand to have it enter your life and that is something I would not wish upon my worst enemy. Good luck to all!!!

PS I am not sure who posted the statement about you only get that initial high once, but you are right on target there. I only wish I would have realized it sooner.

i've never touched a drug in my life but i watch intervention and i see how it destroys lives. what really makes me so sad is when they interview the people who are using about why they use because so often it's to numb pain fro awful things that have happened to them.imo, people that use are on the road to hell, cause drugs ushually lead to prison or death. i greatly respect and admire those who have overcome their addictions and have remained clean. and to those who are still addicted as long as there is breath in your body, there is hope!!

I started using meth when my daughter's bio dad relapsed. I was a cocaine user prior to that and had been clean for about 3 years. I was only using for a couple months when my mom caught on and called in DSS because I was starting to spin out of control. My children were taken from me on Oct 23 2007. I was angry and hurt and continued using until Nov 3, 2007 when I agreed to enter a treatment program through DSS, I haven't touched it since...it was so hard because my husband (not my current partner we are getting divorced) refused to get clean even after a 45 day treatment program. when he relapsed after that it was ovber between us. I met Jeff soon after. He went back to prison shortly after, 2008 and FINALLY confessed about all the other women and that sealed the deal for me...even though I had met Jeff and started seeing him casually that was the nail in the coffin of hope for my marriage. I was really hoping he would do better upon release his remainder was only till this month...He was released 3 sept. and off paper on 5 sep. I have him the contact info for our DSS caseworker so he could arrange visitation as he said he wanted to be in Lillian's life....be a dad again etc...he never called. He got high again on 6 sept only 3 days post release...he left his parents home the following day and has not been back since....he is still alive (I guess he answers the phone every once is a while when they call to check) but is still using hard again. It makes me sad for my daughter, I am just thankful that she was lucky enough to have Jeff in her life as well, he has been the most loving and caring "daddy" to her, Im glad she is still going to have the daddy she deserves in him and I HOPE that one day A will get his poop in a group and decide that Lil is more important than meth.

I hate the drug btw for what it does to families...to people, for who it turned me into, for how HARD it was to escape even after only a short period of use. FOr what it did to MY KIDS through me and my ex.

Get a bicycle, hang out with me, you'll lose weight. lol!

I was just reading in the paper again, how another meth lab was busted. North East Oklahoma has been dilligent in their crack-down on meth labs lately. I think the only way they are going to send a message to erradicate this problem, is to start handing down life sentences with out parole. ... Just my opinion.

Get a bicycle, hang out with me, you'll lose weight. lol!

I was just reading in the paper again, how another meth lab was busted. North East Oklahoma has been dilligent in their crack-down on meth labs lately. I think the only way they are going to send a message to erradicate this problem, is to start handing down life sentences with out parole. ... Just my opinion.

While that may be your honest opinion of what may actually help society as a whole, I doubt that it would be any more sucessful than Proabition was when they made booze illeagal. If you take a look a other countries who leagalize and regulate things like drugs & prostitution, you may realize that much of the 'drug' crimes are actually because people who are addicted to drugs like meth are as much victims of the whole thing as those who are affected by the associated crime that comes with illeagal drug activity.
Plus, where would you stop. If someone who was addicted to meth was given a life sentence for possesion, would a housewife who developed an addiction to prescription drugs she gets from a 'friend' or your uncle who drinks to excess since he came back from the gulf or how about . . . you get the idea. The addiction should be handled seperatly from the crimes that the addict may commit.
Perhaps if it was treated like alcoholism and your boss sent you to rehab if you got high, and your Great Aunt nodded sympathetically instead of calling the police as if you were the walking dead - more people would get help before life gets out of hand.

_ Sorry if this came on too strong but OBVIOUSLY I have a personal view on the whole subject. Honestly just because a person has used drugs or even if they have served time for drug posession, it does not mean that they should lose more of life than the addiction has already cost them. But that's just my opinion.

I went to detox at 16 for meth addiction and cleaned my act up. But this March I did 9 days in detox and 21 days in treatment for alcoholism and addiction to pain pills. Recovery IS possible, even after relapse. :)

~My man(inmate) has used meth from the age of 11 on and off until 7 month's ago, I have no reason to ever touch the stuff~~~I have seen what it does to people and stay far away from it~

I have never used METH but my best friend was very addicted to it for many years after she got off it for about 4 years, we discovered a prescription medicine that was"awesome"( aderall and basically all other adhd meds) we became very much so addicted to this....it affects your central nervous system , having allot of the same affects as meth we would stay up for 8 or 10 days barely eat, yeah and is way bad stuff...I was able to stop completely about 6 months ago but unfortinatly she is still strung out..I hope and pray that anyone who has any drug problems will find help....First place to go....The Word of God only he can set you free.....God bless all!!!

congrats on being sober 3 months! i am a meth user as well as my boyfriend who is in prison right now for offences. i'm trying everday to quit for him and each day it just seems to hard. i think well he isnt out until valentines day i can get clean by then. NO! i have to practice what i preach and stay clean for my man. the withdrawls can be brutal i know, but just think of how nice to will be to say i kicked one of the most addictive drugs. every emotion you are talking about, i got thru every day and once i get up the STRENGTH to let go, they will all disappear too. your not alone. one day at a time girl.

were you buying the adhd meds or using your childrens, like my son did :eek:....shame on hi m :mad:....thank god I now control the childrens meds ... I have never used METH but my best friend was very addicted to it for many years after she got off it for about 4 years, we discovered a prescription medicine that was"awesome"( aderall and basically all other adhd meds) we became very much so addicted to this....it affects your central nervous system , having allot of the same affects as meth we would stay up for 8 or 10 days barely eat, yeah and is way bad stuff...I was able to stop completely about 6 months ago but unfortinatly she is still strung out..I hope and pray that anyone who has any drug problems will find help....First place to go....The Word of God only he can set you free.....God bless all!!!

:confused: no reply Cay~Ray ?

Tana,

First of all "congratulations" on your three months of sobriety.(abstinence from meth)
You are to be commended for your efforts to re-claim your life. Be patient with yourself. That old saying about it being "darkest before the dawn" really rings true with substance abuse. Just continue to take it one day at a time, while constantly reminding yourself that you never want to return to the darkness that was your life when you were using. You have to give yourself a chance to be successful with your recovery...it may be necessary for you to say goodbye to some old friends as you try to leave that unhealthy lifestyle behind. You really have to stay on top of what you are thinking and watch those physical urges...when you start to crave..go work out or go for a walk somewhere in nature. Call a supportive friend who knows what you are going through. I promise you, it gets easier with time. Try to be honest with yourself and others...help will come from places that you had no idea existed. Trust me, the universe and your future are rooting for you. And, so am I. Good luck to you Tana.

Warm regards
In support,
Ahma Daeus

I also did this drug for roughly 3 months. My husband is in prison now for this drug (well HIS actions while on this drug). I lost a lot when I used. But Im here to tell you that you will beat it!! I have been without it roughly 3 years now, Im not gonna lie.. you will have the "urge" to do it probably the rest of your life..whether you act on it or not is the difference!!! I moved from where I was and started over. But urge's are there but i know where I was with it and don't want to go back!! You'll see it's not worth it!! Good Luck

I never have, but my dad (and step-dad) are both recovering users.

:( it is a tough road kicking this addiction to meth...but, it
can be done...props to all who are trying...just know also
that adhd meds are also, legal meth, and usually stolen from a child

i used meth for over 2 years. and i cant even begin to explain the things that i went through. i literally lost EVERYTHING i owned. i have nightmares about it often and i think about the people i knew and the horrible things they did to me all the time.....i cant escape what i have gone through. i hate that whole part of my life....except the fact that it led me to meet my boyfriend. hes in prison for meth now...and him getting locked up is what made me realize that i dont want that life anymore. I was sober for 6 months, relapsed for 5 days, and have been sober since (over 9 months now straight clean.)
meth is evil. and i wish i could be lucky enough to have never tried it. i wish i didnt have to fight urges. i hate meth and i hate what it has done to so many peoples lives and will do to so many more if we dont put a stop to it

Hi everyone i posted a thread about my baby daddy being an addict i am an ex addict and was wondering if any one could give me soem advise.

Thank You

Just say no.

BABY GIRL, I RAISED MY OLDEST SON, THE WAY I RAISED ALL OF MY CHILDREN....YET LATER IN LIFE HE CHOSE THE METH ROAD TO HELL

THIS KIND LOVING YOUNG MAN, TURNED INTO A PERSON I HAD NEVER SEEN OR WANT TO SEE AGAIN...HE BROKE MY HEART MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT....:(:( HE STOLE EVERYTHING HE COULD FROM ME...AND EVEN TOLD ME ONCE, HE WOULD HAVE ME KILLED :eek:

HE LOST HIS 2 OLDER SONS, NOW 21 AND 18,...I GAVE THEM BACK TO THEIR MOTHER WHO LIVES IN MONTANA...DO NOT LIKE HER BUT, SHE DOES NOT DO DRUGS...SAD TO SAY WE NEVER SEE THEM...THEIR MOTHER HAS TURNED THE OLDEST COMPLETELY AGAINST HIS FATHER AND THE 18 yr OLD, WILL TALK NOW AND AGAIN...THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW THEY ARE DOING IS TO PEEK ON THEIR MY SPACE...:)...AND FOUND THEIR GIRLFRIENDS WILL POST BACK TO ME :lol:

THEY HAVE TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM, LIKE WITH EVERY OTHER ADDICTION...MY SON FINALLY DID THIS WHEN I WAS CONTACTED BY CPS TO COME AND GET HIS 2 LITTLE ONES 2 AND 3....OF COURSE I DROVE TO WASHINGTON AND GOT THEM...

HE WAS TOLD WHAT WAS HAPPENING...HE AND HIS NEW WIFE WERE BOTH FACING JAIL, IF THINGS DIDN'T CHANGE...I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO CONTACT THEM WHEN I ARRIVED...BUT, I AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE A MOTHER....

I PACKED THE FOUR OF THEM AND ALL WE COULD STUFF INTO MY MY VAN, AND WE HEADED BACK TO OK..WITHOUT THE STATE KNOWING :eek:(THEY HAD ONLY BEEN IN WA A FEW MONTHS) THE METH ROAD STARTED IN CA...

ANYWAY, I LAID DOWN THE LAW AND BECAME THEIR JAILER (AND NOT A NICE ONE)...THAT WAS IN 2001...AND THEY HAVE BOTH BEEN CLEAN SINCE...THANK THE LORD

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU SWEET PEA...AND REMEMBER YOU CAN COME HERE TO ME IF EVER YOU NEED :)

Thank you so much Ms. Carole this is jsut a struggle and i have came to a conclusion i have to let him hit rock bottom to get his life together i gave up wasting my breathe getting mad and crying all the time and i know it isn't healthy for my baby. I just gotta do what i need to do and hopefully he will realize his family. His mother always makes excuses for him i know what its like to be a meth addict i was one but my addiction wasn't that strong and i thank god that i was able to stop and didn't suffer the things my man does. Each is there own path and all i can do is give my child a better life soemtimes i feel that with both of us being meth addicts and gang members we can not offer nothing better to our child. But i refuse that to be ok i will strive, to give my child the best life. It is just hard i had no idea i was in store for all of this.

I BELIEVE IN YOU...YOU CAN DO IT...YOU ARE ALSO THE STRONGEST PEA IN THE POD :thumbsup:

I hear you there, my childrens father is a serious meth addict and it ruined us.. he quit for about 3 months and relapsed.. I had to end it.. Things were getting horrible.

SO SORRY MY DEAR....MAY YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN HAVE MANY BLESSINGS

SURE HOPE THEY ARE BEING GOOD AS :santa: JUST LEFT

FRANCE AND IS MOVING VERY FAST...:merryx:

i didn't post an answer because none of them fit my use and the length of time i used. i have used for 15 years on and off meth isn't my drug of choice but its why i went to federal prison. i have a lot of experience with withdrawls and just how coming off dope screws up with your little "natural" happy makers that fire off in your brain. i guess when we use drugs for a length of time our brain stops firing those little feel goods and the drug takes its place. so when you stop using there is no drug to imitate the feel good and then it takes like up to a year for your brain to start doing that again. i was suprised you are going through so much for the little amount of time you used. not trying to downplay what your going through or how long you used. but anyway just stick it out and know it may be rough for awhile but meth will ruin your life. i know from experience. feel free to hit me back about this ok hope i was helpful

I am kindof scared of how good the sex is going to again. The only thing that I am thankful for is that we will have been apart for 18 months so I am thinking the sex will be great since we haven't gotten any in a year and a half. Is that a weird thing to think?

Tana, keep up the good work. I used Meth for 16 years and couldn't go a day without it. I've been clean and sober since April 14, 1995 7:28pm. It can be done, and as time passes it will get easier.

Tom

my man got me into meth... and we started slamming it. i was never into hard drugs before i met him.. and now im sitting here alone dealing with the addiction and staying clean with out professional help..but he is in a program in prison. god its so hard.

But, you can do it sweetie....it's a hard drug to break free from, it destroyed my sons life...he lost 2 sons, when they were 7and9...they are now 19 and 21 :eek: He rarely gets to see or speak to them :(

So stay strong...pray alot...and know that life has more to offer you :thumbsup:

Sorry,but that kinda stuff was never my thing.

I have never used meth and wouldn't know what it was if I saw it.
I'm not even sure how it is ingested or what kind of high it is supposed to produce.
But a nicely packed Philly peach blunt will do me right any day of the week.....

my husband is an IV meth user! he stayed clean for 9 1/2 years and then about a yr and 1/2 ago started using it again. currently sitting in jail and that's one of the reasons. It has torn our family apart but we are strong. I told him "you kicked the habit once and you can do it again but not alone this time". He always had the cravings and could taste it. finally gave in when he got back around that crowd.

we also have a friend who's whole family was either crack, meth or alcohol addicts. Her mother kept her strung out since she was a teen. Mom is currently in prison and daughter was pregnant but finally got busted and now has drug court and routine tests. This is the best I have ever seen her look. Her boyfriend was still using but is currently been in jail for the past 3 mos for several drug charges and they are expecting a baby boy soon and is missing his daughter grow up.

I have never used drugs but did have an drug addict for a father but thankfully my mother left him so I did not grow up in that environment. I saw my father as a teen with all the syringes laying everywhere. not fun! Last I saw him, was when he had gone to VA hospital and was clean. I told him about time! I did congratulate him on being clean but he was on so many other pills to keep him clean, I hope he thinks it is worth it. He lost everything due to drugs and can never get it back.

Hang in there and stay strong! With determination and a good support system it is possible to overcome this addiction!

it is the devils drug. i smoked it for almost 10 years. this april i have 2 years sobriety. i went from living in newport beach in a beautiful home to living in my truck. between the dope, gambleing, hotel rooms, women, i lost about half a million dollars. i could go on and on. i thank god everyday that i was able to kick that habit. it all came down to start living or keep dieing, and thank god i chose the first one....

I smoked Meth for 2 years, and gradually turned to other drugs. My last drug was crack and that was in 2005 I have been clean for 4 years.

I use to do meth from age 15-20 I went to two rehabs before getting clean and ditching all my old friends, take it one day at a time try to surround yourself with positive people. As far as withdraws i had the shakes still do and probably always will i remember before i went into rehab i try to kick it cold turkey i remember my body hurting all over and shaking but i've been clean for about 7 months, I know it's hard to get sober but it can be done. Good luck. Remember to just take it one day at a time!

I have never used meth and wouldn't know what it was if I saw it.
I'm not even sure how it is ingested or what kind of high it is supposed to produce.
But a nicely packed Philly peach blunt will do me right any day of the week.....

:haha: I could sure use me one of those. :hee:LOL. But I'm breastfeeding my Lil angel and I would NEVER do that. Maybe when I stop.:rolleyes:

I smoked Meth for 2 years, and gradually turned to other drugs. My last drug was crack and that was in 2005 I have been clean for 4 years.

I like to hear that. Good for you.:thumbsup:

it is the devils drug. i smoked it for almost 10 years. this april i have 2 years sobriety. i went from living in newport beach in a beautiful home to living in my truck. between the dope, gambleing, hotel rooms, women, i lost about half a million dollars. i could go on and on. i thank god everyday that i was able to kick that habit. it all came down to start living or keep dieing, and thank god i chose the first one....

My husband told me they call it Devil's Dandruff.:yuck: BTW Congrats on your sobriety.:thumbsup:

My man lied to me! I didn't know,but he was using cocaine & Meth!!!
Yes!!! I didn't come here for awhile because of a deep sadness I felt
& the hurt & betrayal was too hard for me. He says he didn't tell me
because he feared he'd lose me.He would have!!!
He used drugs many years ago but swore he didn't use them anymore!

I'm just now able to be here & open up with everyone!
I found out weeks ago,& it's been a nightmare.I thought
Benny & I were soooo close!!! He relapsed into drug use
when I went back to Texas while he stayed in New Mexico
so he was able to hide his drug use from me.

He's suppose to go to rehab after he does 2 1/2 months at the
Licoln County Detention Center in Carrizozo,New Mexico.
I've chosen to try & stand by him,at least as his friend!!!

oooop's I meant Lincoln County

I was using meth off and on for 5 years and the withdrawls lasted a long time I had a hard time sleeping driving watching tv everything even breathing was a task I never thought I would ever feel at home was the most difficult my advise is get some melotonine for sleep go to your local natural food store they will hook you up get all natural stuff get some counceling and find a good support group any kind of self help group helps I am now learning how to cope with life Ive been clean 3 years and finally Im in college I get A's I have all my kids back Im focused more on me and getting to know me Im blessed hang in there its all worth it there is help out there own up and ask for it everywhere dont be ashamed you'll be surprised how it turns out its a long process be patient you will get there.

Hi everyone.
I'm 44 years old and have been a hardcore meth addict for 25 years. Smoked everyday for a good 23 years never missed a day. Had to sell it to keep up with my addiction and managed to not get caught all that time -24 years until last year. So now I am going to federal prison for 46 months for a posession charge because I took a plea agreement and they dropped the conspiracy charge of 10-12 years and I plead to the possesion charge of 3-5 years. Kicking my habit was the hardest thing I had to do - after being arrested they made me go to an intense out patient drug program - I relapsed twice and theywas going to send me to jail because I was out on bail. So I went in front of the judge to explain my situation. I told him that relapsing is part of the recovery process and for someone who has been addicted for 20 plus years - its a huge challenge. Its been 8 months that I've been clean so far and will be going to dublin fpc for women next week. I went thru the meanest withdrawals and my god the relapse nightmares I've been having has been so crazy. I get ua'ed about twice a week and I've managed to stay clean because if I get one more dirty I'll be going straight to jail. I shot the dope one time but have been smoking it for all those years. I sometimes can't believe I am actually sober - the drug took over every being of my life and I basically dedicated my life to dope and that's why I don't have any kids today. I did get pregnant on a few occasions but I remember telling myself I couldn't keep it because I was still using. My boyfriend and I got indicted in a huge drug case that involved 42 people but I am at the very bottom of the list because I wasn't involved in what he was doing. He's doing 24 years in california right now but the couple who was at the top of the case got 32 years in federal prison and get this - it was their first offense. I guess it was because they fought their case and lost. So I'm off to prison to do 46 months and in actuality I can accept that because of all my years of doingt crazy things - it was about time I got caught and I am okay with having to go thru this journey that I'm going to start next week. I have a lot to be grateful for today and I just worry about all the damage I did to my body for the past 25 years!! I'm getting old already - so I'm sure I'll be feeling it soon. I am truly grateful that I still have all my teeth!! Lol. I thank god for that daily. Well thanks everyone for all your posts on pto - it has helped me tremendously and eased my mind a lot since I'm self surrendering next week.have a good one everyone!!

Meth was never my drug of choice but coke was. It is not easy

I used from 2003-2004. Havent touched it since. I never will again.

I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana
I am soooooooooo sorry that you have to go through this. I used it once 10 years ago and I stayed up for 3 days straight without eating cause it made me lose my appetite. By the end of the 2nd sleepless day, I was hallucinating and paranoid that people were "out to get me".........who I didn't know....but, I just knew "they" were out there!! On the third day, my body just passed out from sheer exhaustion. I never did meth again cause I remember that fear of the "people who were trying to get me." Nobody was trying to hurt me; it was just drug- induced paranoia. However, the fear was so real that it scared me straight......andy:thumbsup:

Hello,
I read your story on meth. I am so glad to hear u were abot to break the addiction. My son is incaracted now for doing meth. He is in St. Joseph Treatment Center now. Do u know anything about this place? He is sentence for 7 years. Sallie

Never have and never will.

not I. From what I have learned from my current bf I am glad that I took my now passed friends advice and never touched it. I couldn't even tell you what it looks like. Very sad today because my current bf is set for release in less than a month and I am afraid that he is not clean and/or will now stay straight. The things I have learned over the past two years makes me seriously question my current relationship. I love him but I am not going to give up my life for him. If he isn't clean he won't be with us for long.

I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana
Tana
I have never done drug but I have three kids and two of them were on Meth. One is in prison the other is getting ready to gradutate from college and trying to get in to law school. also I know other kid that have been sucessful getting off meth. So please give a chance to yourself you deserved. My son the one is in prison when he was in meth was horrible when he was high in Meth. and of my three kids he is the one with the most loving heart and a good person that will do anything for anybody. Oh God how I wish that drug to dissapear for ever.
Love
Lorena

I used Meth for a few years, but never on a daily basis. I just partied with it. I would like to say that it is the most evil thing to hit this country...maybe ever. Terrible.

.....used it back in 04-06. let me just say, is the hardest thing to overcome....The best advise I could ever give you, confide in God!, pray, pray, pray!! :thumbsup: I lost my family and love ones (relationships) because of my addiiction....lost my now fiancee to this as well...."YOU" have to be the one to say" no more". Only the man in the mirror (you) can pick yourself from your boot straps.... I was hospitalized for about a week (they pumped my stomach...ouch :eek:) then was transferred over to a rehab center that made me realize the wrong doing I was causing myself and others that truely cared for me...Since then, I never looked back and my relationship with GOD/fiancee has gone from good to GREAT :)

Remember, through GOD all things are possible.