i dont know if this is the right place to post this but i dont know where else to go and try to find an answer to all my questions!!! this might get a lil long but i will try to keep it nice and short i promise!!! ;)

i've been against DR from day one i heard about it and i always wanted to try to help as far as i can ...well where can i help is one of my questions? i figured to myself that maybe to offer a person on DR my support could be one way of helping! when i did a little research on death penalty i kept coming across this one guys profile and he touched my heart with his words ... so i decided to write him and thank him for those touching words! this was like two to three weeks ago. he is in san quentin and i really have no clue how long it take for them to write back or at least to get the letter but it doesnt matter. i know the chance of him writing back is big and he problly is just busy with other things ... well today my boyfriend (he is locked up) asked me to find his buddies some pen pals so i posted on LV ads for those guys and then i bumped into the ads from inmates on DR and there were so many that i want to write that all this made me so frustrated. i broke out in tears :cry: i mean this week has been very busy for me and a lot of bad news i came across ( my surgery on tuesday, my bday is coming up on sat, on of my friends dad died last night, ....) well now i dont know if it was just cuz i was overwehlmed with news or should i stick to the plan and write more guys on DR .... the next question is i found like three guys that i would like to write but all three of them are on DR in texas (polunsky) so i was thinking if it was a good idea to write all of them i mean i am not sure if they would write back but at the same time i dont want to put those guys in a bad situation from the get go ... this is so hard!!! :( how do i decide which guy i should write? i mean all of them seemed like they needed a friend and i do have the time to write them all but should i do it to them??? why does it have to be so hard?? can somebody plz help me with this terrible situation i am in??? i will wait to write till i hear some ideas for you :thumbsup: THANK YOU for you time and help!

nastyboo (((huge hugs)))... you have such a huge heart :)
You sound like you have gone through alot to the past week.

I am not sure what to suggest, but I can give you some feedback from some friends on DR.
First off, your friend from San Quentin may write, I have written, and thought, they are not interested in writing, and out of the blue, I get a letter, sorry I never replied, but would I like to keep in touch.
As for having a few friends in the same prison, there is 2 sides to that. Some men in there, state that there friends that they write to are the only contact they have to the outside world, and like to be the only person you write to. But on the other hand, you have alot to offer as well. Follow your heart, if you decide to write all three, I am sure that they will be thrilled to recieve your mail, either way.
Let us know how you go. Hang in there ok!! I hope things start getting better for you to.

thank you so much it was really helpful and i ind of know that some of them dont mind and some of them do but i guess what i can do is send a lil card and wait who writes back (this idea came from my friend betrayed ;) ) and i think thats what i gonna do and of course i will keep you guy updated on that one :thumbsup:

Hi! You have such a good heart! I am trying to help people on DR as much as I can as well! I have 5 guys on DR I write to.
I am not only writing them but I help them with their correspondence to different organizations and so on. So far I have set up one website for a friend on DR (www.right2live.com (http://www.right2live.com) if you want to check it out :D ) and I'm going to do the same for another friend. I wish I could help all of them but unfortunately I haven't got enough time and money for that... :(
I hope you will hear from the quy in San Quentin soon!!

Take care, Anja

is it a miracle or what ...i just told you ladies about the guy in san quentin on death row and guess what my roomie as he got home at 5am he gave me a letter from him!!! i dont know if i can say this is a beautiful birthday present but that how i feel!!! it was a very touching letter and he seems to be a very REAL person and since i cant sleep i am about to write him back NOW!!! :thumbsup: and of course i will keep you posted!!!

Nasty boo I have several pen pals in SQ on DR at the very best their mail sucks. My mail to them get there quick, but it takes about 3 weeks for their mail to get to me. They all warned me when we first started writing that their mail getting out is slowwww. So be patient you will hear from him.

As far as the other 3 guys I would write one at a time and see what happens. You don't want to over load yourself and take to many at one time.
These guys have had so many walked out on them in their lives, that it is hard for them.
And it would be sad for you to want to help so much that you take on to much and get burned out.

softie

Nasty Boo you must have been typing at the same time I was .....:) Congratulations on getting your letter, like I said hun SQ is slow at best.

softie

i spent from 5 am to 9 am to write to my NEW FRIEND from san quentin!!! it was a very touching experience to me and i look up to him for his strenght and the fact for havving dream!!! there is ppl on the street that dont have dreams and a person on DR has ... it made me proud and sad!!! just as all of you said his first few words were bout how SLOW the mail system is out there!!!! but i cant complain he received my letter on the 16th of aug and i got his here in nyc on the 19th of aug (it took less days than the mail from my boyfriend and he is in PA hehehe) as far as having other pen pal in san quentin he did ask me if i had any and if not that he would like to ask me not to write other ppl in SQ if it was possible! which i totally respect and it made me change my mind about writing all those guys in TX (same facility) i guess i needed to hear it from a DR candidat to understand ...well ladies i guess from now i am going to be in this forum alot and hope to be able to share with you about my journey with my NEW FRIEND from SAN QUENTIN!!! :rolleyes:

nastyboo, congratulations on your new friend :D

Hi nasty boo. It is great that you are wanting to write to these guys. My only caution is this: These guys are DR, to some a letter is what makes their day a little shorter. Writing to them takes energy... unless you plan on writing to these guys for a very long time I would spare them the grief. My guy writes to me about how his neighbors go the pen pal route and then get down because the penpals seem to be very into writing but after time goes by the letters become less and less and eventually stop.
So, maybe pick one or two... see how much energy that takes, and see the friendships that form, and as time goes on... and you think you might want to have another continue on with it. I know they appreciate your letters, and your thoughtfulness. I just hope you don't take on too many at once :) Best of luck to you!

thank you so much for your advice ... i totally agree with you and the fact that some ppl might get started with writing and "give " up on them ... i will follow your words and take it easy!!! :thumbsup: one step after the next ...

Nasty, I know there are guys I've written to here on DR in Georgia, and they ask that I not write others, or at the least, don't share info from one guy to the next. I know that there are lots of men here that don't get mail, so you can always go to the Georgia website, www.dcor.state.ga.us and look guys up from DR there. Good luck to you, and I'm glad your friend from SQ finally wrote! Happy Holidays...

i would also recommend not to write too many guys from the same facility as to inmates have very little to call their own and my tend to get very protective of the new friends. but like csunshyn said, if you know you wont be able to handle it for te long haul then i wouldnt even get started. these guys need people who will love them without negative judgement= a true friend. if you think you can handle it then by all means go for it. you just may be the angel in ones life.