My son was finally able to call. He is in lockdown. He and his "cellie" were rough-housing and the officer thought they were fighting. So he is now in lockdown. I am heartbroken.

I live in Texas and he is in Arizona. I had made plans to spend Thanksgiving in Arizona seeing him on a "special visit". Now that he is in lockdown, I can only see him through the glass and then for only two hours. It's a thousand miles to see him! He was looking forward to my visit too.

He said if he had known he would get in trouble for play-wrestling, he would never have done it. My heart is broken. I NEED to see him. It seems so unfair to punish me for such a little thing. How will I ever cope? All I can do is cry. Help me see the silver lining in this cloud!

njtexas

NJ hang in there .. MyGuy ended up in lockdown because of a situation out of his control too. He actually requested it for his personal safety .. and even though we knew it meant non-contact visits (2 hours thru a glass) it was worth it... I've really not got any solid words of advice or help other than hang in there, maybe he'll be moved back to his normal status by Thanksgiving .. it's still several months away .. and generally they don't leave them there for extended periods of time. :(

I am so sorry that you're having such a hard time. Holiday plans can be ruined in a blink of an eye and it's very difficult. My prayers are with you and I hope you do get to do your visit. Chin up and keep strong!!

Cheryl:broken:

Hopefully, he will be back in his cell before Thanksgiving. Since it is such a long trip for you, if he isn't have you given any thought to make it a Christmas visit? Or even a New Years visit.
Non contact visits behind glass using the phone is very difficult, cold and impersonal. I had to do it for 54 days once and I thought I was going to die, because of all of the metal they had on him, the leg irons, belly chain, hand cuffs. Then they locked him in this little cubicle, but they did take off the handcuffs. Of course they padlocked the cubicle. It just was awful for me. I wanted to touch him so bad and all I could do was touch the glass.
Good luck to you, I am sure he will be out by then.

Being out of state you would be eligible for 4 hour non contact visits and two days of them.. he has to apply 21 days or more in advance but that is what he is entitled to, non contact sucks but it is better then no visit... remind him to put in for the extra visits as they are allowed them.. I come from out of country and we get extra time , he can ask for contact visit as well since you are his mom
have faith hun

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement. It means a lot.

Today I called Winslow and they told me he was not allowed any special visits at all. The visitation officer said that, since they didn't know how long he would be in lockdown, he was not entitled to any special visits. I can visit on either Wednesday or Thursday for 2 hours and it is no contact. He also said that any special permission he had gotten for me to visit was cancelled when he got in trouble.

I asked him again after telling the visitation officer I was his Mother who lived in Texas and that I had to fly to get to Arizona. He just said it again - no special visits - two hours non-contact. HELP!

How will i stand a ruined Thanksgiving?

Perhaps you can stand a ruined Thanksgiving by focusing on a nicer Christmas or a Happy New Year, just a suggestion.

Tell yourself it's about HIM, not you. He's being punished...don't put the weight on yourself. He's made his choices and you can't let his choices bring you down. You seem like an amazing mother...one that anyone would be lucky to have.

On Thanksgiving be thankful for what you do have...phone calls, letters, memories, and hope for the future with him. That's what matters most.