Anyone have advice on getting through the holidays alone? My husband has been away for 23 years and is eligible for parole in 18 months. For some reason, it's really hard NOW to get through the holidays alone..........

awwwwww...shygirl...i'm so sorry you're feeling so down...my first thought is that if you're with us here on pto, you're not really *alone* over the holidays, but i do know what you mean...it's a terrible feeling. i think we all just try to focus on whatever positive things we can, try to support our loved ones the best that we can...and try to do for others what we can...does that make sense? and we come here and vent a lot. A LOT. so don't feel badly if that is what you need to do.

others will also come by with good advice.

hey, i'm from new jersey myself...so hello to another jersey girl...!

take care,
emme

Welcome Shygirl, holidays are so hard.When your feeling lonely , come here and your never really alone.

Join us in chat as well as being on here. Keep checking til someone's there. Usually in the evening and late into the night there's folks on there.

Deb

I'm sure what's getting to you now is the anticipation. Have you thought of doing volunteer work? Sometimes it helps knowing that you're helping others, and it keeps your mind on something else.

The advice that I have is just to count your blessings no matter how few they may be! I know that this season is soooo hard especially when your loved one is not with you...

Keep busy and involved and lean on us here at PTO! We are here for you!

Shygirl, I know with myself as I grow older the holidays become more difficult. I am so happy he has only 18 more months to go, although this probably feels like a life time.

SHYGIRL...

23 years to be away from your husband is gone... Think on the positive. He has completed 90% of his time and will be comming home to you in 18 months. Don't be depressed about that, Celebrate Celebrate. This is a major acomplishment in itself, just the fact you two have weathered the 23 years and are sitll together and love each other.

Concentrate on the period after the 18 months. You will be a very busy lady getting prepared for his homecomming and also the adjustments he and you will have to make in order for him to stay sane. Think how much things have changed in 23 years. He will have so many things to become familiar with once again including just the simple ring of a telephone or hearing a horn blow.

Stay positive sweetheart... You are now on the downside of this mess. Get excited.

My Love and Prayers

Donna

WELCOME SHYGIRL.JUST FOCUS ON THE HOLIDAYS AND WHAT THEY WILL BE LIKE WHEN YOUR HUSBAND COMES HOME.YOU ONLY HAVE 18 MONTHS TO WAIT!!

which ya doing still here ken

I think you have gotten great advice and I have to concur... how to get through the holidays is the same as how to get through ANY rough day... try to focus on the positive (all that you have) rather than the negative, try to not isolate, and helping others and staying busy always does wonders to make time pass by and get our attention off our own woes....

Thank you all for the great advice. I have decided to do more volunteer work. Although I work at a church already, It helps to help others who have less than you. Just when I think I've got it bad I meet someone who makes my problems seem like nothing !. Yes we have gotten through 23 years and are still as much in love as when we were teenagers, so yes the next 18 months is nothing. I suppose it is the anticipation of him coming home finally. Maybe a visit will pick me up !
Thanks again friends!

shygirl

Where are you? Have not seen you post in awhile..... Let us know how you are doing...

Donna

Donna, sorry . No I havent seen my post in a while. I've been keeping busy following everyone's advice LOL
I probably have been working too hard actually. Im doing better than the holiday blues. But now we are going back and forth over legal issues. We have been together since we were teenagers, but were never "legally marries". Decided to address that issue and he is insistant that we not do it there. I have a hard time understanding the difference, whether we do it when he comes home or while inside? Is it that big of a hassle?

PS- I love you guys for being so supportive. Dont know what I'd do without you all !!!

Shygirl.... I can understand why he wants to marry outside of Prison.... He wants the rest of your life to be perfect and not have the hassles that you have for 23 years..

I too know what you mean about the legal issues. Your not being his wife can cause them not to give you info you need in order to get him home. So, You tow must decide what is best for both of you..

Love Ya
Donna

Thanks Donna for a new perspective. I really didnt think of it that way. I was so caught up in the hurt and confusion I was feeling, I really didnt think of where he might be coming from. I was so upset that my 'future 'sister in law, and friend since childhood has taken the day off and is on her way to see me from Pennsylvania. She said I really sounded bad on the phone. I feel so blessed to have a support system in dealing with this. Sometimes I can barely make it through the next day. Thanks again.
Love ya right back.