I live in Atlanta and my husband is in NY. The distance is really starting to get to me.:(

I was just wondering if there are others out there who are not just separated by the bars; but also by miles and miles of highway. How often do you visit? How often do you talk? How often do you write?

The costs are so much more expensive than when I was back in NY. I often feel like the career moves/salary increases have been great; but all it really does is give me more money to spend in order to be with my husband.

I AM IN SC MY BOYFRIEND IS IN PA. THE DISTANCE IS VERY HARD. I HAVE TAKEN A JOB THAT I REALLY DO NOT WANT IN ORDER TO MAKE MORE MONEY SO THAT I CAN AFFORD TO VISIT HIM ONCE A MONTH. HE CALLS ME TWICE A WEEK AND WE WRITE TO EACH OTHER EVERY DAY. THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS.

I know all about distance, My fiance is in a NY state facility and I am in Eastern Ontario Canada. He is in Elmira Reception waiting to be moved hopefully soon so we can do the marriage thing that we were talking about before he went in, then the kids and I are gonna work on getting a visa so we can move down there. His sister and niece are willing to be a co-sponser and I should be able to get a transfer from my job to a store in the states but it will be about a year before we get the visas (hopefully at the most). His sister and niece are in Syracuse. I stay there when I go down for the weekend when I visit him.

I have been going down every weekend last month but can't see him as much now with the transfers. Next month once school starts back, probably will only be every other weekend, evey weekend would be too much for the kids since they have friends the will want to play with on weekends also.

My husband is in NY and i live in NJ. Its not too far, but just being in a different state is a hassle in itself. They wont live him do work release or parole in NJ which means i would have to move to NY. Visiting is not too bad now. But before I would have to take the vans upstate at weird times in the night and in the morning and just getting to NYC during those times were a hassle. so i can totally relate to all the women and familes who have to travel from another state. I know its hard!

I live in Ohio and Poni is in Louisiana. I am airline employee so I can fly for almost nothing. Thank Goodness. I try to see him once a month. We talk twice a week on the phone sometimes we sneak in an extra call but he has a large family to stay in contact with in California. We write daily.

I'm in MD and he's in NY ... I've been doing it for 2 years this month. I wish I could say it has gotten easier but lately it seems like it has gotten harder. I try to visit once a month and we talk about twice a week on the phone. I'm looking forward to visiting this weekend ...

I live in Tn and my fiance lives in Fl, I try to go visit every 2 months, talk once a week and try to write everyday, if not everyday, every other day. It's hard and really don't get any easier, you just have to hang on to your love.

Thanks ladies. I know there really isn't any magic answer. We just hold on to our love for one another and God-willing we will make it through. Thanks for listening.

There really ISN'T a magic answer, is there? I've been living in Oregon, and my guy is in Florida; we write frequently, and I've been flying out to visit twice a year; we can't afford phone calls. Finally, I decided to move out there; it will be so good for us to be able to spend more time together, and have the phone calls, like "normal" people. I guess you just end up doing whatever you can to get by & make things work....

I was considering moving out of state seriously about 2 years ago, I was so nervous starting over in a new state with no fam and only one friend around but most of all I was so worried about being so far away from my husband. he said he would support me and had no problem with it but I just couldnt go through with it. I mean its hard enough now I can't imagine not being able to see him everyother week like I normally do now and I use to go every week when he was at shawangunk butthen he git moved to clinton and that was a hassel, then now he's in Green Haven, and the weekend visits rotate on the weeks a-l on one day and m-z on the other, I work every sat no exceptions so its every other sunday for now, just hang in ther ladies it will be ok!

Im in NH and he is in upstate NY and its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in Arizona and hubby is in South Carolina...we will hopefully talk 2 times a week but not sure yet...he just got there a week ago and his hearing is on August 19th. We have talked 1 time, last night, for 11 minutes and that is all I have heard from him. No letters etc. due to extradition to SC, and no money to give him to put on his books. This is harder than I ever thought it would be due to the fact that I am not employed and the bills are now past due :( .

Cheryl:broken:

I live in Florida and my husband is in Texas. I guess you could say that we were almost right across the street from each other. just kidding. but yea the distance is real hard. i can't go see him, the phones i can't afford to many of. But i now own stock in a paper company and the post office from letters. But seriously it is real rough. I miss him very much. And it hurts that I can't go visit him on the weekends. But hopefully he will be home soon. He is still "waiting" to catch the chain to Middleton. Jeanne

Heys guys, this is the NY forum, I guess this thread is for people who visit A NY prison long distance, right? but it is something ya'll have in common.

I AM IN MARYLAND AND JEFF IS IN SING SING IN NEW YORK. I USED TO SEE HIM EVERY WEEK WHEN I LIVED IN LONG ISLAND BUT I COULDNT AFFORD TO LIVE THERE ANYMORE AND I MOVED HERE. THE COST OF LIVING IS SO MUCH MORE AFFORDABLE. I NOW TRY TO SEE HIM ONCE A MONTH. I WRITE ABOUT 5 TIMES A WEEK WHILE I WAS IN NEW YORK I WOULD WRITE TWICE A WEEK, BUT WE TALK LIKE 3 TIMES A DAY SO THATS A GOOD THING. IT IS HARD THOUGH.

I will definitely be moving further up north next year when the kids finish school in May. I am applying now to Ph.D. programs in Baltimore, DC and Philadelphia so I can be closer to my husband--5 years of this is ENOUGH!!! I know that I'll feel better if I can just jump in my car and be there in a few hours. Thanks for listening!

MY MAN IS LOCAL. I'M GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
MY HEART GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU WHO ARE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

I'm in Pennsylvania and my husband is in New York (Comstock) and it is really hard with just the 6 hour drive let alone a few states in between like you. He's putting a request in to move a little further south in New York but it's still hard.

He is New York and I am in Ohio-- 9 hours away. The anxiety of the trip gets me. Trying to figure out lodging when you are going somewhere you have never been. This is his 4th location in 2 1/2 years. Everytime, I get ready to make the trip I get sick. I love him, and when we're together it's worth all the trouble. Do any of you know about Otisville?

You ladies are awesome!

Luis and are both from bklyn ny.. Currently he is in Altona CF and I live in Boston. It is a hassle but I do what I have to do to go see him. we talk about three times a week and I write every day or send him cards. Before he comes home I will relocate back to NYC. My whole family is there so I need to go home.

We moved to Florida because my husband's health is so bad and before we even went to court ( we NEVER expected him to get convicted - dirty defense attorney ) Anyhow, I travel once a month from Tampa to Rochester on Air Tran - if you REALLY watch their website REGULARLY you can pick up super duper air fares. I regularly pay $ 59 each way which is cheaper than if I tried to drive ( not that I would ) And because of my husband's horrendous health problems he has served his ENTIRE incarceration in a Regional Medical Unit - starting at Wende in Buffalo and now at Walsh in Syracuse. You should also join every single club for further discounts. My Avis membership gets me a car from Friday nites till Sunday for $ 45.00 ( that's the whole weekend ) AND if you check around way ahead of time you can usually find a decent clean hotel for under
$ 60.00 a nite. So my once a month trips round out at about $ 290.00 - just have to work overtime the rest of the month to pay for it.

it should take 3 hours BUT leaving nj is a nitemare. comming home is worse :angry: :angry: :angry: 2 weeks ago it took 7 hours to get home. rain, 20 car accident on the turnpike and no where to peeeeee!

but the visit was worth it
storm

Our men make all of this worth it. I am going to start checking the web more for cheap flights/car rentals. I just miss him so much:( !

I live in the far NW corner of MI and my son is in Greenhaven - NY. It is more than 20 hours to drive there, mucho bucks to fly. I see him twice a year, he calls once a week, we write in between. He is unmarried, no girl friend - it's just mom who he counts on to be there for him. We will be gettin our first FRP visit in a couple of months and I am looking forward to being able to cook for him. V.

MOM's are wonderful. I hope that he can include other support people; which will help you. I know the 20 hour trip takes some planning and energy. Be encouraged!

I live in Florida and my baby is in Upstate. I only get to visit like every 6-8 weeks. It costs me a fortune for each trip and I have 2 kids so they are first priority. I hear you Rywill - I hate when he gets transferred to a new facility. I have to start all over finding the closest airport, finding a hotel, getting directions to the new facility and learning the process of the new facility because no two are the same. I also get all nervous going to a new place because I know nothing about New York so I am always afraid I am going to get lost and being all alone in the hotel is no fun either!! :mad: However, my son graduates from High School this year and is off to college so my daughter and I are moving to NY in less than a year. We can't wait!! :)

I know what you mean. I just added a counter to my signature so I can visually see the days wind themselves down to when me and my daughters move closer to my husband. We all miss him so much. We will still be doing this long distance; but at least we'll be just a short 6 hour drive away compared to the 14 hour drive away that we are now!

Peace....My friend is in New York and I am in Pa. I am fortunate to have friends and family in NYC as that is where I was born. Do wish we were closer yet it is better than many. Blessings......

Where are you located in New York? How do you travel? How far do you travel?

I am in the Bronx, but not for long! I travel with friends, about
1 1/2 hours away upstate.

Hey Mrs G I myself am from Brooklyn, I take A van service to go see my hubby, and I am about 2 hrs away from him, I have plans to get a car so I can go up there when ever I want and comfortably I might add, I just get real tired of spending my hard earned money and have to travel feeling all cramped up, you know!

oh yes, I do know!!! blach!!
-
what van do you take, can you list the name and number, for others who read this?

I am in Corning. How often do i travel to see Bub? Not as much as i would like to.I'd say maybe once a month. I have no car, and no busses / vans/ trains go from my area to Gowanda. So i have a aunt that goes to salamaca to gamble LOL and thats when i go.GOD Bless

Oh the prison is exactly 125 miles from my house

I live in Dutchess County, there is public transportation here but its expensive and a long trip to visit the prisons in upstate NY. If you don't have a car in this area your SOL! The prison I visit is about 2 hours away.... he can only have visits every other Sunday.

Hi Girls,
I live in Queens and I travel down to Fl. I know its not really what you were implying but if anyone has a loved one in a FL prison and wants company on their trip, Im your girl!! I hate staying in hotels by myself.

I go from the Hudson Valley to Coxsackie, I doubt it would be very useful to anyone but if it is let me know! I drive.

thanks, again, this is only an idea to help those who have no clue how to get where they are going, you do not have to give personal info or tell us the prison you visit, and you can still help someone if you know a van or train that goes nearby...

so alone,,, you drive to Florida??? wow!! you go girl, how often do you go?

I am originally from Buffalo and still have tons of family there so when I go to visit my husband I get to see my family too. If I were to drive from Atlanta to where he is it would be a 16 hour drive! Of course, I do not make that drive. I fly into Buffalo which is a 2-hour flight from Atlanta, then I rent a car and then it takes about 30 minutes from the Buffalo airport to get to the facility. I make this trip about 8 times a year for our trailers and a few long weekends here and there.

I live upstate near Rochester. About 15 minutes to Groveland Correctional. BUT, my man is in Georgia. Carrolll County C.I.... He doesnt want me to see him locked up and asked me not to come to Georgia. Wont give me any info. on visiting...

No WAY Mrs. G, I fly. Then rent a car and stay in a hotel, I try to go either every month or every other month. But it would be great to have someone to travel with.

I'm from LI originally and my family still lives there so when I go I will either drive up to NY or take Amtrak usually on Friday night after work where I will catch Prison Gap, go for a visit and then have my family pick me up on Saturday evening when the bus returns. Lately I have been trying to schedule visits on long weekends or I just take Monday off and visit on Sunday b/c visits on Saturdays during the summers are so crowded. It's crazy and I usually feel the effects of all that travelling on the train, bus, or the car in a weekend by Tues or Wed but it's all worth it just to be able to see his handsome face! :)

I drive 6 hours from PA up to Comstock to see my hubby. I usually see him once every 3 weeks because it gets costly but he will be transferring further south in NY soon so it'll be closer and I'll be able to visit more often.

I live in Brooklyn, and I travel by bus, or van to Auburn, which is about 6 hours away.

Wow I am in Boston orginally from Queens NY.. I travel every other weekend to Altona CF. I take the bus from here to 42nd street then catch prison gap Friday night. Come back to NYC at 930pm, catch my 10pm bus back to boston mass. I get home at 2am sunday. I love him and I will continue to do so. No matter what distance I travel he is well worth it.

I'm in Brooklyn now. I go see my man maybe 2x a year and I use prison gap.

Wow Maggie_Luis, I wish I could afford to travel like that. I only get to visit now, probably twice a year.:( We are a 9 hour drive apart.:mad. I drive from Ohio to Otisville. Before he was in Collins :o , that was the closest; then Livingston, not too bad; then Wyoming, about the same as Livingston.

Peace...I live in Philly and have family and friends in NYC. I usually come in for a long weekend to visit my friend who has since been transferred to Sing Sing. This Oct will mark my first visit there. I do drive yet have a horrible sense of directions so using a bus service was not an issue for my visits at Otisville where my friend had been. My plan for Sing Sing is to take the Metro North service from 125th or from the Bronx station(once I find out where it is). Perhaps, at some point I'll figure out how to drive there and feel comfortable with that hike. Would welcome some company! Blessings...

I live in Syracuse NY and my man is in Albion now ,which is like 2.5 hours away. The car that I have now, the transmission is slipping so I dont think that it will make it so I have to look into othe options untailthe beginning of OCtober when I buy another one. he was in Auburn and that is only 20 minutes away, but nothing good lasts.

I live outside of Albany. I travel about an hour on the Northway to Mt. McGregor. I go every Sunday by car.

Hey everyone,

I am from Brooklyn. I travel by car to see my hubby in FCI Fortd Dix. It's about a hour and a half trip. I have the number to a bus service for FDix. Pm if you any of you ladies need it.

thanks for sharing guys, maybe this can help someone!!

Hey ladies the van service that I use is called Rosie's Van service, its door to door, she goes to Green Haven, Shawangunk, Wallkill, Fishkill, and Downstate. Her #'s are
718-639-5573 or 917-337-4120. I also have another # to A&J van service. 212-369-4581

I am in Rochester and My Fiance is in Wende I drive about an hour a couple days a week it's
about 50 miles away.

I travel from New Rochelle to Clinton Main.

well im in NH and i gotta go from NH to boston, boston to NYC the i get prison gap and go upstate,,about 13 hrs ONE way and i try and go once or twice a month,,gotta go what i gotta do to let him KNowi love him

I'm from Midtown Manhattan. I go up to Five Points to see my husband with Kismet Van. It's about a 6 hour drive...

I went back to this thread because there are so many other issues when you live out of state from where your love one is. I am not from New York and have not ever lived there. I am getting to see the state, but it's mostly backroads on the way to a visit.

How many of you have no family or friends in New York where you visit? How often do you visit? Have any of you married while living in another state? Are any of you helping plan for his parole, and have to learn about New York and the state you currently reside in? I know that my situation isn't unique, and PTO makes some of it easier. I was just wondering if someone else is experiecing some of the questions that I am.

Even though I used to live in NY, having family there and was married there, I am currently facing some of the same concerns that you have. I will either be living in Georgia, Alabama of Maryland when my husband goes up for parole so I will have to learn the in's & out's of that state's parole system as well as the Intertstate Compact process in order to be able to better support him through his preparation and transitioning to my state. I am still learning about the NY system because when Nuro and I met he had more than ten years before the parole board so I never bothered to learn much about the parole process then.

Due to the costs, stress and strain of traveling between NY and Atlanta generally we just see each other on our trailers which in our case is about 4-5 times a year. Plus I do try to spend at least one week of my vacation during the summer up there visiting him during the entire week.

Long distance relationships do present their own unique set of challenges. We just try to make the best of this life we live.

I went back to this thread because there are so many other issues when you live out of state from where your love one is. I am not from New York and have not ever lived there. I am getting to see the state, but it's mostly backroads on the way to a visit.

How many of you have no family or friends in New York where you visit? How often do you visit? Have any of you married while living in another state? Are any of you helping plan for his parole, and have to learn about New York and the state you currently reside in? I know that my situation isn't unique, and PTO makes some of it easier. I was just wondering if someone else is experiecing some of the questions that I am.

I agree, the issues are somewhat compounded when doing this from out of state. I'm thankful that my immediate family still lives there so that makes travelling back there somewhat easier and I lived there my entire life up until 2 years ago so it's not so unfamiliar to me -- even though I didn't live upstate where most of the prisons are located. I think that by the time he's released I will be back in NY -- one reason I moved is b/c I thought perhaps the time would go by quicker but I'm finding that now that we are married being so far away is taking it's toll on me. We got married in 2003 after I'd moved out of state. I thought it was crazy that I had to go all the way up there for the interview w/the counselor prior to us getting married. It literally took 15 minutes and I travelled over 400 miles one way to get there. I can't believe it couldn't have been handled another way. But we have to play by their rules. As for getting his parole transferred to where I am? I don't know if I want to go thru all the red tape that's involved with getting him paroled to where I live ... I'm thinking I will be back in NY by then.

Thanks Nuro's Wife and Trescheek, for your response. When my honey went up for parole last year, I read alot about the Interstate Compact Agreement, and the state of Ohio's regulations.

We were to get married last year, and the counselor at Wyoming was helpful, in that he didn't make me travel for the interview. He did it over the phone. I had to go of course for the marriage license. And then, I ended up postponing it. So we are planning again. And he is in another facility and is going to move again because his classification has changed.

i live in broome county, and i travel exactly 3 hours to washington cf to see my boyfriend. i usually go every week...its costly, but getting to visit with him makes my weeks go by so much faster b/c i know i have something to look forward to

i drive 183 miles each way, i go every 2 weeks and stay over
stormie

HEY ALL,

I AM NEW HERE, JUST WANTED TO JOIN THE TIPIC. I AM FROM BKLYN, MY POPPA BEAR IS IN WALLKILL. I TAKE A VAN SERVICE IF I DONT GET A RIDE. WALLKILL IS ABOUT HOUR AND A 1/2 FROM NYC.:):):):)

Hey everyone..i live in Upstate NY (about 15-20 min from Altona CF) and this will be my first visit to Downstate. Its about a 4hr drive and I will be driving myself. One of his friends has volunteered to come with me to help pass the time and miles...

Can any of you share some prison info for where you visit? please PM me. I have questions. thanks! :)

can't beleive i never answered this thread, anyway,
i live in Queens, right near Rikers, and I drive to Sing Sing every other Saturday (only 45 minutes). I already take one person with me, but i do have room for one more.

I am in ontario canada and my hubby is in Elmira Reception NY.

I try to go every other weekend, his sister and niece come up and get me since I don't drive and I stay at his niece's place in Syracuse for the weekend and they go for the visits also on saturdays. Our visits are on hold right now cause I need to get some stuff so my children can cross the border, but hopefully in a month we will be visiting agin

I live in NY and hop on a plane once a month to NC to see mine.

I'm located on LI. I will be traveling almost six hours to Moriah about every six weeks.

My fiance is in Moraih Shock as well (they will graduate together). The ride for me is about 7 or 8 hours. Most likely I will try for every other weekend. But winter is coming, and the trip is soo long :(

I am in the bronx..I traveled to FCI Schuylkill,,,in Minersville PA is abou a 2 1/2 hour ride..hopefully Ill be able to make it every other week

Hi all! My hunny is at Southport. I go there every Sunday to see him. If anyone lives around the Rochester area or surrounding and has friends or family there, but no way to get there, let me know. I have a van and can fit quite a few people in it!!

good thread. :)

i am from Buffalo, NY. i travel (usually) by myself about 4 hours to see Joe. i have never taken a bus or anything like that.

the driving DEFINITELY sucks..... but i like the independence to be able to drive up there alone. that way, i can JAM Hanson all the way!! :D :D

I'm in Florida so I always have to fly into whatever airport is closest and rent a car and drive. Most times it has been a good 3-4 hours drive from the airport. My sister lives in Philly so sometimes I would fly in and see her and then drive from her place when he was in Elmira but it was still like a 4 1/2 hour drive. Those were long days - driving there and back in the same day a few days in a row - I started staying overnight instead. Right now he's in Upstate and as much as I hate the place - it's only a little over an hour from the Burlington airport so I love that part. All his family and friends are in the city and he is never sent somewhere close to there so I am always doing the trip alone. I only get to see him like every 2 months because it costs like $1000 every time I go. I haven't seen him since July due to all the hurricanes and work for me down here. I am going to see him over Halloween weekend though. :yay:

My hubby is in Mid orange and i just moved to NYC from NJ. can any one tell me how to get to the NYS thruway from manhattan. Thanks!

I live in Schenectady, near Albany. I drive by car almost every week to Attica. 4 1/2 hours each way.

I live in Rochester, NY and I travel about 45 minutes to Wyoming to see my friend. I go only once a month.

well my brother in law is in collins c.f. we just traveled 8 hrs last weekend we did go around in circles once we got to up there cause we couldn't find the place:D. but that was a long trip. But my sister usally goes by bus with flamboyent.

I live in Rochester N.Y. and my guy is in Gowanda CF. It takes me 2 hours to get there. I visit every weekend depending which day is the odd day, cause they do odd/even visits there.

Hey Raphael's girl: I'm from Rochester too!!! :)
I have no clue right now where Billy is...actually I take that back, right now he's at Auburn, but in Depo, so he's going somewhere. Where, I have no clue!!!!!

my heart is in new york also and i am in va...youre alot farther away than me but its no picnic:p

I guess the next hurdle for us too is to begin researching the Interstate Compact Agreement for where I live. I hope the process is not too painstaking. I have heard that the process often delays their releae too if the receiving state is not very timely in responding. Thankfully we still have a bit of time before we cross that bridge. So in the meantime, we try to manage as best we can with the distance. The winters are actually much easier for me because as much as I love my husband and my hometown of Buffalo, I am not traveling there during the winter and risk getting stuck there (not even for a trailer)!

I hear you Nuro's Wife, but I think if I could get a trailer, I would risk getting stuck. Of course, I live in Ohio, and the weather along the lakeshorline is bad there as well. I was just thinking about his birthday approaching, thanksgiving, and Christmas, and the distance makes it so hard. I realize that this is only for a season that we are going through and we shall reap a harvest in the next season. I should make it a point to remember these times, so if I ever in my wildest thoughts want to complain about him being home, I will catch myself before one word slides out.

Thanks Rywill. You are right. I know that we will reap the harvest in God's time. I love my husband so I struggle to maintain my sanity over the miles. It's funny that you mentioned reconsidering for a trailer because I was just reconsidering trying to make it up there for a trailer around Valentine's Day. The things we do for love...:)

I live in Albany and my man is in Gowanda. Haven't made it there yet plan on going this month. Will be my first trip to a NYS Prision. What can I expect?:confused:

I Live in the Bronx, and my sunshine is in Greene. Its takes about 2 hours driving time and i take Manney's Transportation from 149th Street and Grand Goncourse

I am in NC and my father is in NY. He has been locked up since I was 2 years old so I never knew my dad. I finally met him when I was 17. I met him one time and that has been it. Me being a single mom with 2 small children, I cant afford to make the trip. I still write as often as I can and we used to talk on the phone but it got too expensive. I kinda feel sorry for my dad cause he has noone to visit him. Both my grandmother and aunt are in Florida and cant afford to visit much. He has been in there most of his life. He comes up for another parole appearance in May so..Keep your fingers crossed. I think he has paid his time for what he did and deserves to watch his grandchildren grow up. I am his only child and he didnt get to watch me grow up. Im trying to make a father/daughter relationship with him now, but its hard. All I can do is keep trying!!!!:o :(

SxySouthrnYanke it is nice that you are open and willing to maintain your relationship. I am not sure where your father is, but there are organizations that assist with housing for visits. I am not sure if they can direct you to someone to help with travel, such as churches that may have a prison outreach ministry. I know that Hope House works with families in the Western NY area.

I too hope that he has an opportunity to meet and know his grandchildren, and you as well.

It was not his fault that he couldnt be around me as I was growing up. His family tried to get me and take me to see him but my mother wouldnt allow it. She is the one who kept me away from him and his family. I dont care what happened between me and my children's father but I will never keep the kids from their biological father. I know what its like and I am not gonna put my children through that.
It is really hard to try to build the father/daughter bond that ever daughter should have with their dad because there is so much distance. I would love to go see him, but I wouldnt want to take my children into that kind of enviroment at their young age. Maybe when they are a little older and able to understand a little bit more. We talk frequently on the phone and write often as well. He has paid for his crime and is truly sorry for what he did. I just hope that he gets his parole this time but I doubt he will. I had high hopes until he got transferred this last time because of some charges that they have filed against him (which arent true). They moved him from Woodbourne CF to Attica CF which is not good in the eyes of the Parole Board. He went from a Medium security back to a Max security so it cant be good..Im keeping him in my prayers though. That is all I can do is hope and pray.
Thanks for everyones support on this site. This is a really good site for people who arent sure of how to go about things.I have learned alot from reading the threads and what others have gone through. Thanks for everyones support once again!!!

Do any of you travel during the winter season over the miles? If so, how do you get there? Do you still drive, do you fly, or do you take the train?

I looked at Amtrak, and realized that to get where I need to be around the beginning of the year would take me several days to travel. Flying looks like the best option, but I would still have to drive some distance, and I worry about the snow.

I am feeling really overwhelmed right now with arrangements. This time is worse than any other time before. This of course is the first time that I am trying to visit during the holiday season and him being further away. I hate trying to make arrangements based on internet information only. I had a horrible experience the last time I went with the hotel I stayed in. It was so bad that I only paid $25 plus tax for 3 days. I guess that's one way to save money.

Any suggestions from you out of state people?

Now, I usually fly because I am so far away from NY. It is a 2 hour flight from Atlanta to Buffalo. Of course I have to rent a car once I get there. The facility is about 15 minutes from the airport and about 30 minutes from my aun't house where I usually stay when I am there; so the drive isn't too bad now.

Buffalo is my hometown, which is where Wende is, so it is very convenient for me these days. I have tons of family still there so I never have any hotel expenses. During the summer when the kids and I take vacation, I will drive up there. We do our pit stops seeing friends all along the way, so it is pretty nice.

In terms of saving money when traveling. I always use priceline for my car rentals. I usually enter a max rate of $22 a day and I usually get accepted. The normal going rate is usually about $37 a day. For my flights I try to book as early as possible. I always check with Travelocity.com too. I have saved big using their service for flights too. I generally try to fly the same airline in order to rack up frequent flyer miles so that I can get a free ticket at least once a year.

I used to drive some serious distances though year round from Buffalo to Clinton years ago, in the rain, sleet or snow. During the winter I would always leave a day or two early in order to try to beat any inclement weather or be able to take my time if the snow started to fall. I would also try to not schedule our trailers or drive to visits in January or February which is usually the worst winter months. During the winter months I would use one of the bus services to go and visit.

I hope any of this info was useful for you.

NuroWife that was a help. I use priceline too and travelocity, and a few more to send me updates. Where he is now isn't close enough (less than an hour drive) from any major airport. I saw a lot of small public airports. I figured I can fly into Albany and drive 2 hours versus 10 hours directly.

I wish he was back in the Wende hub because I could drive to most of those spots in 5-6 hours, and stop along the way to visit. Driving now is very iffy cause I would have to drive almost completely across Pennsylvania.

I am leaning toward driving and praying for decent weather. Just in case I am taking vacation time a couple days after my visit.

I´m in Sweden and my fiancé is in NY, so thats a really long distance. I have only been able to visit once, but I hope I will be able to go there again in a couple of months, but it´s very expensive so it depends. We write two, three letters a week.

Sweden....WOW that is truly long distance. I guess I shouldn't complain about the money it costs me to see my hubby, because I know it can't even compare to the expenses you incur when you travel to NY.

I feel your pain. I am in Ga, and go to NY to see my son and my boyfriend. I have to fly to VT and then drive to Malone. I talk to him weekly and I go up evry other month or so. You can find some good deals on line. What facility is your husband at? Do you drive there? I couln't do that. Even when I go home to NYC it tke 7 hrs to drive to malone.


I live in Atlanta and my husband is in NY. The distance is really starting to get to me.:(

I was just wondering if there are others out there who are not just separated by the bars; but also by miles and miles of highway. How often do you visit? How often do you talk? How often do you write?

The costs are so much more expensive than when I was back in NY. I often feel like the career moves/salary increases have been great; but all it really does is give me more money to spend in order to be with my husband.

My hubby is at Wende, outside of Buffalo. I only drive back home (Buffalo is also my hometown) during the summer when the kids & I take a month off for vacation) to Buffalo once a year. We are on vacation during that time so we aren't pressed for time. We take our time and visit friends along the east coast and work our way up to NY. I always fly to Buffalo for my trailers and regular visits to see my honey.



I feel your pain. I am in Ga, and go to NY to see my son and my boyfriend. I have to fly to VT and then drive to Malone. I talk to him weekly and I go up evry other month or so. You can find some good deals on line. What facility is your husband at? Do you drive there? I couln't do that. Even when I go home to NYC it tke 7 hrs to drive to malone.

hes in new york ans im in florida so i feel what youre going through!

I just checked the weather for Buffalo as I often do and the snow has begun to fall. My next visit up there isn't until February so I guess I do have time to prepare for that lake effect snow; but I sure ain't looking forward to it! Winter is here!!!

Winter is here. it snowed in some parts of UPstate NY...and it was 30-25 today in the City. BRRRRR!!!!!

Mrs. G. I totally agree. Winter is here. When I went to visit my boyfriend this weekend, I had to drive in snow on Saturday. It was still snowing on Sunday. Anyone that is traveling from out of state should start checking the weather every day. This is only the beginning. :(

Here is the link for the National Weather Service that covers the Eastern Region

http://erh.noaa.gov/

Believe or not ya'll it was 30 degrees here in "Hotlanta";) this morning when I woke up. For a minute I had a flashback of being back in NY!:)



Winter is here. it snowed in some parts of UPstate NY...and it was 30-25 today in the City. BRRRRR!!!!!

Im in Central Florida & my man is Upstate NY @ OCF. I dont get to visit very often because of work,school, kids etc...Hes been gone almost 4 years, so its pretty tough!

what's OCF?? I'm curious

:dance: My son and man are at Bare Hill Correctional Facility in Malone NY, and I have to fly there, then drive 2 hours. Of course, that means renting a car and a hotel room. If anyone who lives in Ga also goes there, pm me and we can go together. I was just there this weekend that passed. And although it is a long ride and all, I do it because I am just as happy to see them as they are to see me. I love them both so much. :grouphug:

Well I'm in NY and he is In NJ. My travel is only an hour and a half.

I was wondering how many of us were traveling during this holiday time to see our loved ones. Unfortunately I won't be traveling to NY this Christmas. It is kind of hard but I am managing. We have been blowing up the phone though, so it does help. I'll suffer next month when the bill comes!;) I am counting down the days though until I see my hubby again. The time can't come fast enough!

I'm going to visit on Christmas Eve and on New Year's Eve. I haven't seen him for a month so I told him I would make it up at the end of the year. I normally don't go up 2 weekends in a row because of costs and because it's over a 6 hour drive to get there but I'll manage.

Peace....To those who will travel for a visit during the Holiday...be safe and have a WONDERFUL visit. Had a visit a couple of weeks ago...had a WONDERFUL time. Man, I just love to be with my Beloved. He really is amazing. He has been consumed with school work...I tell you, the expectations of this masters' program is a bit much. My Beloved prevails...it is in his nature. At this time, we have talked about a visit in Feb., my birthday month. To Jenuwine, Nuro's wife and EVERYONE else...be safe, healthy and Blessed!

I am traveling for the New Year, so I hope the weather holds. We are to get married January 1. The snow is coming early this year, hopefully it wil come and leave.:o

Peace....Did not realize that you were planning to get married...rywill...you go girl!...give us a shout out with the details when you return. Congratulations and please have a safe and wonderful visit! Blessings...

I will be going to NY for the holidays and I plan to visit my husband while I'm up there on this coming Sunday ... it seems like forever since I've seen him. It will be a combo, birthday (mine) and holiday visit. I sent a package that he should, prayerfully, receive this week (if he hasn't gotten it already) so I wouldn't have to waste any precious time leaving a package on the visit ... I want every possible second of that 6 hours! :) I'm taking the infamous Prison Gap ... I haven't had any major problems with them but I always get a little nervous b/c I just don't want anything to spoil me getting to my husband and it's not like I can just pop back up the next weekend, you know? Please pray that all goes well on this trip ...

Congrats to you Rywill on your pending nuptials ... that's really great to hear.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!



I am traveling for the New Year, so I hope the weather holds. We are to get married January 1. The snow is coming early this year, hopefully it wil come and leave.:o

Thank you for the congratulations. I am a little nervous, excited, anxious--just all over the place. I pray that the weather clears up for my travels.

Did anyone go and visit this weekend? If so, how was it?

Did you send Christmas gifts? I got a beautiful card.:p

Congrats and I pray the weather will work out for your wedding. I visited on Christmas eve and it was one of our best visits. Hubby had a good Christmas from me, I sent him long johns, shirts, boots, cassettes and food. I think that was everything. He ordered me a pair of sneakers which I haven't received yet and he said he has another present for me that isn't done yet. Seeing him was the only present I needed though. I'm going back up this week to visit on Thursday and Friday, then I'll probably take a 3 week break since the trips cost a lot.

P.S. January 1st is a perfect date to be married. :)

I know how you feel. I recall that my feelings were all over the place when we got married too; but its all worth it!



Thank you for the congratulations. I am a little nervous, excited, anxious--just all over the place. I pray that the weather clears up for my travels.

Did anyone go and visit this weekend? If so, how was it?

Did you send Christmas gifts? I got a beautiful card.:p

he's about 3 1/2 hours away, although in the snow it took me 5 hours. I'm in South Jersey and he's in NY. I just visit when I can, but we talk and write constantly.

I live in Tampa, FL and my knight is in Livingston Correctional. He’s been away since August and I have yet to visit him. We write each other about two times a week and speak every Sunday. Thirty minutes is just not long enough. Seven-fifty definitely adds up after a while. I plan on visiting during my son’s spring break in March. The cheapest way to visit him is flying into Washington DC; say with my family then driving up to visit. We are both having a difficult time dealing with the distance. Prays go up every night that his new Reform bill will allow him to get early release. :thumbsup:

Welcome kcannon002. I visited Livingston over 3 years ago. It was one of my better experiences with these facilites. I think I liked the fact that it was small. One of the things that stood out when I visited was on the wall it said "But for the grace God go he." I had a lot of nice visits there. And if you are going for Spring Break maybe it will be warm and you can have a visit outside. This is one where they assign where you sit. You can't just choose a table.

Take pictures, I think it is still $1.50 and when I visited you paid for them with a CO instead of tokens or a machine where you buy picture tickets. I visited so often, I would get a kick out of finding new ways to drive---I'm adventurous like that.

I hope you have a wonderful visit, and it is definitely something to look forward to. I think Hanksmom visits Livingston too. So perhaps she can inform you of any changes.

that is a good question i am in nj he is in mississippi i know nothing about mississippi. right now we write and talk on the phone but the phone thing is probably more expensive then going there personally. i am going to try to go see him we have a ten year old and a one year old he has only seen in pictures.

I am trying to plan for my trip to NY for my trailer; but the weather has just been so crazy lately upstate. It's snowing one day and 45 degrees the next day. I'll be packing any and everything just to be prepared for whatever comes my way.

I want to go visit my honey, but it seems like things just aren't working out. I know he hopes I just show up one of these weekends soon, but his mouth says wait until the weather breaks. With this crazy rain, rain, snow, ice, springtime sunshine, more rain, add snow who knows when to travel?

My new location to visit is Orleans. Wow. I get to visit yet another NY facility. When I say I am getting to see NY...I never invisioned it being this way. :idea:

I really need to see him. Love will do a body good.:p I know many of you have further distances to travel, but this is wearing me out.

I live in Philadelphia and my fiancee is in Sing-Sing. I travel about 1 and a half hours to the Bronx and spend the night. The next day I travel about 45 minutes to the prison. This weekend I am traveling straight from Philadelphia to the prison. I will see how long that takes :).

I am in PA and Sam is in Butner, NC. I try to see him as much as I can but I work 2 jobs and go to school so it makes it hard. We do talk & write twice a week which helps but sometimes I wish he were closer.

Peace....What's shaking NY...pray and hope the NY crew is well. Plan a visit sometime in February....can not wait. Heard from my Beloved yesterday. It seem that Sing Sing, like so many places, is experiencing an outbreak of the flu. So many men are down with this. My friend prevails in the Masters' program which is extremely demanding. As important is that my friend has completed and mailed the administrative appeal before the deadline. Pray for us and wish us well. I'll do likewise for this crew. To all....Stay Up. Blessings....

Rywill---I can totally relate to what is going on with the crazy NY weather. I plan to be prepared for snow showers and rain showers and anything in between. It really sucks. There is no getting all cute for a visit when you have to pack everything but the kitchen sink. My hubby said that he wants me to wear a skirt to the trailer. I had to ask him if he was crazy. It could be snowing, raining or a combination of both; but in any case none of them make the best weather for showing some leg. I told him to just relax and when I get in the trailer he can see all he wants to see!

Boy, I can't wait until this part of our journey is over!!!

My honey told me last night that many guys are down with the flu where he is also. I can see why with the crazy weather patterns that they have been having.

Good luck with the appeal. I sent some prayers up for you all.


Peace....What's shaking NY...pray and hope the NY crew is well. Plan a visit sometime in February....can not wait. Heard from my Beloved yesterday. It seem that Sing Sing, like so many places, is experiencing an outbreak of the flu. So many men are down with this. My friend prevails in the Masters' program which is extremely demanding. As important is that my friend has completed and mailed the administrative appeal before the deadline. Pray for us and wish us well. I'll do likewise for this crew. To all....Stay Up. Blessings....

The Reason so many people get sick in the winter is just that the germs get trapped and passed easier because all the guys are inside all the time. My husband was just so sick last week, a really bad flu!

I hear alot of Snow up North! It is gonna be 60* in NYC tomorrow! Crazy Weather!

How are you all doing? Believe it or not we are in the middle of an ice storm down here in Georgia. I am getting ready to brave the real cold weather up there in Buffalo for my trailer in a few days. It's kind of funny but the distance between us doesn't seem to bother me as much during the winter months than it does during the warmer months. I'm not sure if that really makes much sense, but it does seem to be the way I feel.

Well my husband is in Attica and I live in the Bronx I have not visited him since Sept and I'm going this weekend God willing and the weather permits. Nuro's wife , I found out that Flamboyant Bus service will begin to do FRV soon on Tuesday's and thursday's that should cut my travel expenses in half and make it so much more convient , because I was going crazy wondering how I was going to make these trailers, so I thank you for your support.

That is good news Vondie. Anyway that we can save money traveling is always great news. I have been getting really good rates with my car rentals from priceline.com. I just got $15 a day which is great compared to upwards of $25-$35 a day. The flight prices have been good too with all of the fare wars the airlines are having, its great for us travelers.

1st let me say that I am really overwhelmed by this web sight it is just the support that any inmate wife/family needs. As I've stated in a previous thread, my husband is doing time at Great Meadow Correctional Facility with "about" 11 more years to go. Great Meadow is a crazy place, I refer to it a the concrete incased jungle, of course my husband refers to it as the belly of the beast but never the less for now we have to refer to it as home. If there's anything anyone wants to know about Great Meadow, get at me and if I don't know I'll certainly find out for ya. On a positive note about the facility...the trailer visits are always right on time!:D

Ladies, I just came back from NY and the weather was great. The temperature was in the high 30's and 40's which is awesome for a winter in Buffalo. We even went outside on the porch of our trailer in shorts and t-shirts. This was definitely one of the best winter trailers that I've had in all of these years. Anyone traveling soon?

Hello all. I haven't been on much lately, not sure why. I am sure you had a wonderful time Nuro'sWife. I want to travel this weekend and surprise him for Valentine's Day. We haven't seen each other since the end of the summer. Unfortunately, funds are low :( and pulling the rabbit out of the hat seems almost impossible.

Nonetheless, I sent him an early Valentine's Day surprise. He loved it so much that I got a 42 page letter. :) That makes the desire to see him even stronger.

For all those traveling this upcoming weekend be careful and safe. And, yes this weather has been absolutely mind-boggling (but I won't complain).

Hey everyone ... I've been on but mainly just reading posts ... I saw my hubby right after Christmas but not sure when I'll be able to get back up there. Always too much month and not enough $$$ ... phone is blocked right now so that just adds to the feelings of missing him. I got a letter the other day and I've almost read the words off the page! :) I don't think a visit is going to happen this weekend but hopefully by the end of the month. It's rough right now but I know things will get better ... there are peaks and valleys in this life and right now I guess we're just going through a valley experience. :( Looking forward to brighter days ...

Rywil---a 42 page letter...WOW!!! That is really special. Trescheek--I too am praying for better days for you and all of us. This life we live is a very special and unique one and truly on the strong survive. We'll make it, just take it one day at a time.

I drove to see my baby yesterday and we had a great visit.

Nuro's wife, i agree and we definitely will make it. :)

Hi ladies well I went to see my Husband in Attica on the Free bus and it is not that bad , The bus is just as good as any of the others . The visit was nice and we took some pictures , we are still waiting for the date of our first trailer. Prior to this visit I had not seen my husband in 6 months so it was really good to see him.
So ladies in the NY area you dont have to fear the free bus / the only problem is they leave about 2 hrs after the others but they only stopped at one other prison Wyoming which is like around the corner from Attica 2min drive or so . It worked out better for me because I was able to work 9-5 and meet the bus without loosing my mind . The free bus boards at 11:30 pm and in motion at 11:45pm so I had plenty of time to prepare.

My hubby is in Great Meadow too. How often do you get to visit since you are in a different state?

OK--you know that saying desparate people do desparate things... Well consider me desparate. I drove this weekend to see my sweetie. I knew that it was suppose to have some snow, but I ended up driving through a snow storm. The worse part was in Pennsylvania. Cars were slidding offf the road into ditches. I saw news camera crews out shooting the footage.

Like a nut---I kept driving. i was so sleepy the time I made it back, I couldn't even take my clothes off. Love will make you do some crazy things.

Oh yeah, He looked wonderful---I couldn't stop starring. I know I have issues. It was a great visit and as always I hated to say good bye. Maybe I can visit in 6 weeks. I hope so.

I live in Puerto Rico and my sweetie is in Coxsackie CF, New York. I travel every chance I get. It's exhausting and expensive but I love my boo.

Hi all,
My man is in NY and I'm in NC. I'm from NJ and I stay with family when I come up so I save a little money on that end. But he was in GH and now he is in Auburn that is to far to travel from Newark each day so now I have to get a hotel near him I know this will get expensive. any encouragements?

Welcome abgirl.:) Glad you joined us. You can do it. Figure out what works best for you, and make the most of the visits and opportunities that you get. Make sure to take good care of yourself. I have seen all kinds of back roads in New York, so enjoy the :p adventure!

My papi is in Rikers NY and i now live in B-More MD 4 hour drive!!:blah:

Hi, My baby is in Auburn NY and i live in NJ the ride is about 4 1/2 hours,but i would drive to the ends of the earth for my man! We will be married next month!

I live in Greenville SC, My man right now is in Nassau County in Long Island New York, I haven't been to see him. We talk 2 times a week and I write him something for everyday, however he writes me 2 times a week. I do plan to go see him in a few weeks when I figure out where he is going.

I live in Nevada (reno currently but moving to Las Vegas in about a month and a half) and it I haven't visited my fiance yet, but we write just about daily. I can't get phone calls at this time due to him being in the box. Once he's out of the box it will take 3 weeks to get my # added to his list. The bad part about their phone system is you can only add a new # 1 time every 90 days. When I was pregnant the apartments I lived in came with a phone so I gave him that # and it turned out I couldnt get collect calls. I immediately gave him a new # that I set up but it couldnt be added to his list. a few days before he was supposed to call he went to the box.
I plan on moving back to Syracuse by feb. 2006 but in the mean time, I plan to visit him at least once this summer, before or by August.
If anyone has any info on the visiting rules, etc, please let me know. I also need info on how to get transportation there (Upstate CF) as I do not have a car. Do I need to be in NYC to get transportation?

I hope to visit him in June rather than August.

I was looking at the addition to the list of those having to travel from another state and I realize that I am not all that unique or crazy...:p well, maybe crazy, but that won't be the determining factor. I hope to go visit this weekend. That's a 7 hour drive down from the 10 hours before. I guess as he moves closer maybe he can make it home soon.

I hope all the travelers be safe along the highways or even flying.

Well, I've been to see my baby 3 times this month, total of 1200 miles....weewww. now i have to wait another 3 weeks :(

4MyBabyBoy that is pretty impressive to get in that many visits in one month with or without all the miles. I wish I could visit more often, and usually in the summer months I make it once a month or if lucky I can slip two visit in one month. I ran my car ragged. I just traded it in with almost 250,000 misles on it. The dealer was like are you a traveling salesman? I laughed and said--but of course and I live in my car.

It's been very quiet in the post up until the last few weeks. Maybe it's Spring fever...

yeah, im glad that i got to see him this much this month but normally its only 1 or 2 times a month, like april, so far im only planning one visit. :(

hopefully before i do that to my car, i move...but its a lease so im turning it in next year...even though im already over the miles i should be. it wont be 2 years old til may and i have 32000 already. ughhh.

WOW! I envy you ladies who get to visit so often. I only seem to get up there during our trailer times and for a week or so in the summer. Our trailer is next week so I am looking forward to spending some "alone" time together. I am going to be changing jobs soon so God only knows how often are visits will be after that. I have had the best job/boss for the past 6 years so I am trying to prepare for the unknown. I hope my new boss is as flexible as my current one. Time will tell...

NuroWife's congrats on the new job. Perhaps you can groom this new boss to your needs:p --much success with that one.

It was really hard during the winter months cause I just don't visit because the drive in this crazy weather does not permit. I am lucky if I see him like around Thanksgiving. I saw him in August, and we were to get married in January, but he moved... so I ended up seeing him in February during one of those mixed weather weekend (with no snow, then a blizzard and ice).

I think I may want to trade a few less visits for a weekend together alone and pretty much uninterrupted. The last visit I had, the people next to us were trying to easedrop on our conversation, and everytime I looked they were staring. It was worse than how the CO's stare. Anyway, we made the best of it cause as rare as visits are, we learn to pretty much remove the rest of the world at least for a little while.

I am excited...and can't wait to meet all these great ladies at the g2g. Mrs G is doing a wonderful job.

You are so right Rywill, our weekends together far outweigh any number of regular visits we could have. I am thankful that I do get up to NY every other month for our trailers so I am in no way complaining. I am so excited already. I miss him so much.

I am contemplating visiting this weekend. I feel like we really need some time to talk face-to-face instead of via letters. This past week has been difficult physically, emotionally and spiritually. Have you ever felt like you just needed to see each other and all would be understood? I am struggling today. So if I can swing the trip, I will be sitting at a table waiting for him to walk through the door.

Peace....rywill, In the event that you do visit...I hope it is a GOOD one and both you and your loved one have that face-to-face. Hopefully, next week will be a better week...for all of us. Blessings...

Hi Rywill , ai hope you went to see him , and yes I know all too well what it is like to need to see your boo , when the calls are way to short and the letters take too long for a response , I hope you went girl , you sound emotionally and spiritually broke.
good luck girl

Thanks chinikfb and Vondiefox for your thoughts. I did not make the trip :( for one single reason, an effort to be practical. I ended Friday with the perfect cap to a not so good week. I got stuck in traffic :mad: on the way to pick up my son from child care--injury accident which took interstate down to one lane. Ok, I get to relax and breath :o for a few minutes until I realize that this parking lot of cars in not even rolling. Well, panic sets in cause I need to get my son by 6:00. And wouldn't you know it...a 22 mile drive turns into and hour and fifteen minute trip. I get to my son late and but of course----there is the dreaded late fee of $1.00 per minute.

So, I ended the week feeling like I had been a punching bag. I went home and ate vanilla wafers and cheetos cheese puffs... and I was not alternating them sparingly. I woud have cried if I wasn't so tired. I ended up in the bed before 9:00 p.m. which is unheard of for a night owl. My son must have sensed my grief, so he laid in my bed with his feet at my head and we fell asleep watching something on tv.

I got my sweetie's letter on Saturday and he said to wait and visit that he was worried about me trying to do too much with the wedding coming up. So, I took his advice and enjoyed the sunshine. Took my dog for a long walk and watched the kids play outside until the sun went down.

I am hoping for a drama-free week...boy do I need it. If anyone else had the chance to visit I hope you had a wonderful time. It was a lovely weekend here.

I totally understand and can relate to how you feel. There are those days when I want nothing more but to just see him, be with him and I know that he'll make everything better!

You mentioned sitting at the table waiting for him, which just reminded me of our visit on Thursday. Can you believe that he was actually waiting for me this time? This CO was giving me such a hard time about the key ring that the rental car key was on that I was late coming into the visiting room. I was so p*ssed off and mad; but the moment I saw his smile I forgot all about the drama in the lobby!


I am contemplating visiting this weekend. I feel like we really need some time to talk face-to-face instead of via letters. This past week has been difficult physically, emotionally and spiritually. Have you ever felt like you just needed to see each other and all would be understood? I am struggling today. So if I can swing the trip, I will be sitting at a table waiting for him to walk through the door.

Nuro's Wife I am so glad that you got a chnace to visit this weekend. When I read your post I started to laugh thinking that never happens that he is waiting for me. (I am just laying away time, cause when he comes home... I am certain that at some point he will be waiting on me).

I usually get aggravated waiting. I can get there at 8:30 and still not see him until 10:00. I swear they must have a manual that says "How to Mess with what a woman needs". All I know is he smiles and tries to walk like he is holding back from running and skipping over to jump on my lap. I feel his embrace and smell him, and all the sudden it's like being at happy hour. Anyway, good to hear he helped you forget the drama.

Awww (((((rywill))))), don't feel that bad I am having a horrible month myself.

I hope that you have a better week and you see your man soon.

Ronnie, I think that is so great that you got to get up here to visit your man, I am really happy for you :)

Those damn cos need to find a life...they're definitely a royal pain!

Thank you 4MyBabyBoy. I hope you have a better month too...after allwe deserve to be happy. In the meantime, we can start a Pity party post... must bring all drama and crazy nonsense so we all hold a pity party together. All joking aside... I really am grateful for all the kind words and thoughts.

Hi Rywill , I'm sorry you had such a bad week , but this week will bring something better, Hopefully you will make a visit with your man soon. I will be off to Attica on Friday , I dread that bus ride it's so long ,but I will try to make it . I only get to see my husband once a month since they moved him so far away.

Vondiefox that's still pretty good to be able to visit once a month. I can remember almost two years ago running up and down the road to that area. He was in Wyoming at the time. And the only good thing was that they have three visiting areas in the warm weather at Wyoming. Where he is now only has the one visiting room. I have never taken a bus to visit, but was trying to figure out how I could get that to work for me only because the drive up and back in one day is very tiring.

I was a little leery to post this, but I can't hide my anticipation. Three weeks from today... that right 21 days... 504 hours + from now and counting I will be marrying my sweet heart, my magic man, my big head.:p If you believe in pray, lift one up for us. It's been a rocky road getting to this place for both of us. Getting married under the best circumstances can cause anxiety, but getting married and living apart adds more difficulty. The only certainty is that we love each other, we know what's important to and for us, and we are committed to seeing it through.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

CONGRATULATIONS RYWILL!!! I am so excited and happy for you! I recall our wedding day like it was ysterday and it was almost 13 years ago. I am keeping you both in my prayers. Remember what God has joined together, let no man put asunder!

Thanks Nuro'swife, your words mean more to me than I could ever say. I appreciate the encouragement and the words of wisdom. What were some of your most precious memories?

Our most precious moments...he was so nervous, he was shaking, his eyes welled up with tears and his lip was quivering...all of this coming from a man who is usually so cool, calm and collected!:) Even though the actual ceremony was short and sweet, it was beautiful just the same. Of course our first kiss as husband and wife was the most memorable and the perfect end to our ceremony.

Life is what you make it! Make the most of your special day!:D

CONGRATS!!! Hope your wedding is wonderful and fills yours and your soon to be hubby's hearts so full that you can reflect back on the day when you're feeling blue, sad, whatever. My husband was so nervous when we got married he was supposed to be repeating after the minister and he was just standing there, the minister said "hello", and we broke out into hysterical laughter. Then I put his ring on the wrong hand. The whole thing was very sweet, and we will have those memories forever.

Thanks ladies. Tuttle you made me laugh. I can not imagine all eyes on him and then he starts to laugh. I have been pretty cool this week. We are down to 1 week and 1 day. He wrote me and said how excited he is and scared at the same time. I thought it was just me feeling that way.

We have know each other for over 12 years, and when we started out he swears that he was just a bootie call for me. Me being the good girl that I am :p reassured him it was not like that. I hate doing laundry. That is my worse chore or household taks. I will wash dishes, mop the floor, clean the bathroom to include toilet and do windows, but I hate laundry. So, he said can I imagine him going from being a bootie call to my laundry man.... And I said YES!:)

To all of my fellow "commuters" out there, I hope your travels are happy & safe this weekend. I won't make it back up north until mid June; but I am counting down the days. Have a great weekend.

Nuro's Wife I will in NY mid-June as well. I plan on visiting again probably close to Father's Day. If we are in town the same weekend... maybe we can do our own g2g since I can't make the big one near the end of Jone.

does anyone know if out of state visitors need to do anything "special" prior to visiting at NYS DOCS? :confused: Friends from Fl are coming this summer and are asking about prior approval? Guess this is what happens in Tennesee, but I'm at a loss as to how to answer them, so I figured, I'd go right to the source (NOT DOCS, they don't know anything:blah: ), you all, you're the experts here! :D Thanks for your help.

We lived in Florida prior to my husband's incarceration in NYS - traveled once a month to see him. All I needed was my photo ID ( drivers license ) and I initially had to fill out a detailed form on my first visit ( the same form as everyone else - no matter where they come from ) and I never had a problem. The only thing that might cause a problem that I can see would be the amount of people that might visit at one time. ( Some facilities have a limit on the number of visitors at one time. Other than that - I don't think you should have any problems with out of state visitors.

PoopsieNme said it good that is all you need, but I need to say a warning about dressing appropiately too because I was turned away and they didn't care that it was going to take awhile to get back to my hotel, etc.

I agree! I had my aunt visit with me one time from Michigan and all she needed was her ID. I visit with my pennsylvania Id and when I bring my mother she has her Florida Id and NO PROBLEMS!

thanks for the info, I can't imagine coming all the way here and then being turned away. You all are so helpful and I know my husband and his friends will appreciate the assistance.

My friends that come from both Arizona and Colorado, use their driver's license from their state and have no problems with visiting. You might want to check with the facility if they have to be an approved visitor, some prisons require prior appoval, The ones where my friends went to didn't need prior approval. Although they did consider the dress codes to make sure that they wear the propper attire, so they wouldn't get turned away, the trips that they make are from very far way. Here's wishing you and your friends have blessed visits.:)

New York has approval upon the first visit. It's not like Michigan where you have to get prior approval before going to visit.

Rywill -- that sounds great! I'll be in touch with you via PM as the time gets closer.

Im in NH and he is in upstate NY and its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!I have my fiance in upstate NY also I'an in NJ he is 7 hours away. How are you dealing with it? Erica

It's been very quiet for us out of state visitors. Do any of you have mroe visits planned now that the weather is nice? I would visit more often, but I have not figured out how to budget for it. The price of gas is killing me daily and making that 7 hour road trip is even worse. I plan to try to do a surprise visit this Sunday. We both need it. The upcoming parole hearing is taxing both of us emotionally.

hey ladies,

Now that the weather is nice I still dont visit as much as I use to because he was moved further upstate which makes my 8 hour trip turn into a 13 hour trip and the cost for gas is outrageous! But I did get to visit in March and May four days each visit so that helps alot. I will also be attending G2G so I will make one more trip up in June to see him before I head home. I just wish he was closer to the city so I can visit more but now I have to stay in a hotel where he is because I never know when I can get to see him.

I cannot believe you are coming from NC....
;)

I am in Fl And my son is In NY we talk 3x a week i only get to visit 1 a year maybe twice .. I send him money and food every month to make things easier for him .. His wife was only one hour and 45 mins away and she gave up..she told him Sunday she will e moving on and wants a divorce.. I salute all you women who have held on for your men .. They really need you no matter how far you are.. Its so important to them to even know they still have hope for tomorrow .. She just took hi away as well as his son.. ew man will not let her bring his son to see him anymore..

GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Georgette

fishkill, I am sorry to hear of your and your son's loss. Having family in your corner is a blessing. Hope is one of the priceless jewels that we hold on to. I pray that your son is doing well just knowing his mother loves and supports him. Take care.

I am in Arizona and hubby is in South Carolina...we will hopefully talk 2 times a week but not sure yet...he just got there a week ago and his hearing is on August 19th. We have talked 1 time, last night, for 11 minutes and that is all I have heard from him. No letters etc. due to extradition to SC, and no money to give him to put on his books. This is harder than I ever thought it would be due to the fact that I am not employed and the bills are now past due :( .

Cheryl:broken:
I know exactly how you feel. My husband is serving time in Upstate NY, while I am living near my daughter in Southern Ohio. His case ruined us financially. He was the only one working, I'm still waiting on a decision about my SSI (disability). It cost us our business, and took all of the money I could beg, borrow, and steal to pay a lawyer to defend him.

There was no way I could afford to stay on Long Island. It's one of the most expensive places in the world to live. So I'm very far away from him, with no money. I can't afford the monthly fee to HAVE a phone, let alone use it, and if I can't afford a phone call, it's assured I can't afford a trip up there to see him. My car would never make it, and there's no money for planes or rental cars.

I haven't seen him since May of 2003, and I haven't heard his voice since June of 2003. We write as often as we can, but even postage can be hard for me to keep up with.

His first parole hearing is November 2007, but I know they won't release him on his first go at it, even though this is his first and only run in with the law.

We are both in our early 50's. I am very ill with diabetes. I just pray that God helps him get out of there in 2007 so that we can have just a little more time on this earth together before I die.

No one knows how hard this is, except the people living it...:(

I went back to this thread because there are so many other issues when you live out of state from where your love one is. I am not from New York and have not ever lived there. I am getting to see the state, but it's mostly backroads on the way to a visit.

How many of you have no family or friends in New York where you visit? How often do you visit? Have any of you married while living in another state? Are any of you helping plan for his parole, and have to learn about New York and the state you currently reside in? I know that my situation isn't unique, and PTO makes some of it easier. I was just wondering if someone else is experiecing some of the questions that I am.
Where in Ohio are you located, what city/town. I am in Portsmouth. At least you are driving up to see him. I cannot do that. My car is on it's last legs, and would never make the trip.

I have a step daughter on Long Island, but no one near where he is, Oneida. That's in or around Rome, NY.

It's nice to know someone else is living in the same state that I am, and going through what I am.

Keep the faith. Time passes, just not quickly enough. ;)

Where in Ohio are you located, what city/town. I am in Portsmouth. ;)
I am in Central Ohio--Columbus. I hve been to Portsmouth to take a distance learning class at Shawnee State in conjunction with Ohio University the Athens location. One of my employees is also from Portsmouth.

I have seen quite a bit of New York, as my husband has moved numerous times. I am so sorry that you are unable to make the trip. Do you ever get to go visit? I know Oneida is a long drive for you if you could make it--what is it about 10 hours? How long has he been there? We have been as far apart as him being in the Sullivan Hub; which was a lovely 9.5-10 hour drive.

im in NM hes in CT lot of miles even more money... wewrite alot though it helps.

good afternoon i was wondering if anyone knew of cheap hotels in attica ny if so please get in contact with me

The Attican is the closest and cheapest, otherwise you have to drive to Batavia for a hotel. I don't have their number off-hand though, it's been a few years since my husband was in Attica.

I Am In Maryland And My Husband Is In Great Meadow. Believe Me You Arent The Only One Who Travels Far. It Is Very Exspensive And Very Overwhelming. U Have To Pay Gas, Tolls And Everything Else Plus When You Get To The Visit You Have To Buy Food. But I Love My Husband To Death So No Distance Can Keep Us Apart. I Am Glad To See That There Is Someone Else Who Travels Further Then Me. Keep It Up Girl.

I Am In Maryland And My Husband Is In Great Meadow. Believe Me You Arent The Only One Who Travels Far. It Is Very Exspensive And Very Overwhelming. U Have To Pay Gas, Tolls And Everything Else Plus When You Get To The Visit You Have To Buy Food. But I Love My Husband To Death So No Distance Can Keep Us Apart. I Am Glad To See That There Is Someone Else Who Travels Further Then Me. Keep It Up Girl.
Just wanted to say hello i am in DC and he is in Five Points , Romulus NY. I am going this week and gas prices have went up! i need to total up the trip and see how much it comes to. Well i saved my loose change for about 3 weeks and that is what i am using for him to eat! :)

Hey my traveling sisters. Jaynell enjoy your trip this weeeknd and be safe! I may be able to sneak in a visit if I cross my finger, toes, and eyes!!!:p

Hey Ladies! It's been a while since I have been around but it feels so GOOD to be back! My daughters and I just traveled back to NY for our Father's Day FRP visit and we all had a great time. It cost me a fortune but you know it is always worth it!

anyone else travel from GA to NY?

Any of you traveling this weekend? I wish I could. I have so many things to do that costs money over the next month that I can't even think about going to see my hubby. This long distance thing sure sucks sometimes!!!

I live in Florida and my husband is in Malone, NY. I visit every 6 months, I write everyday, and we manage to squeeze in a few phone calls per months. It is really hard.

Wow, that's a trip. Have you always been in Fl or did you relocate there?I live in Florida and my husband is in Malone, NY. I visit every 6 months, I write everyday, and we manage to squeeze in a few phone calls per months. It is really hard.

i live in Maryland and he is in NY i go to visit him 2times per month we talk twice per week and write 3 time per week so we are pretty good. the distance is killing me though when i go to visit him i have to leave my house at 4 am and i dont get there until 8:15 and then i turn around and go right back home i am so exhausted when i get home. But i love him and i would nt have it any other way

i live in Maryland and he is in NY i go to visit him 2times per month we talk twice per week and write 3 time per week so we are pretty good. the distance is killing me though when i go to visit him i have to leave my house at 4 am and i dont get there until 8:15 and then i turn around and go right back home i am so exhausted when i get home. But i love him and i would nt have it any other way

Hey I am in DC he is in Five Points , where do you travel to which facility...

glad you all kept this thread going....it is so helpful :)

How often do you ladies visit and how do you do your traveling expenses? What I mean is do you treat it like a regular monthly bill that you have so you just set that amount aside each month? This is my biggest ? when it comes to relocating. I was thinking of getting a credit card that would only be used for traveling to see him. This way I would be able to do a visit monthly. How do you guys do it?

I am really bad at keeping to a budget.:o I rarely visit during the winter months because I am driving and that Buffalo weather can fool you everytime. I do not visit from the mid-November to mid-march. It's been more difficult because of the increasing gas prices.

I opened a separate savings account. During the summer months I travel more, so I do more saving at the early part of the year. I always over-spend:confused: . But it cost me for a one-day visit just under $90. The gas is $60 +, and tolls are $7.30 both ways. I usually get 3 pictures $6.00. And the vending machines is under $10 (usually around $8). I have never been able to carpool. I know Nuros' Wife flys, so her expenses are definitely higher. When you come back to NY, do you have a place to stay or will you have hotel fees?

If I travel during the March to mid-May, a hotel is in the $57-$70 range. During the summer months the price is outragous, and hard to find places to honor coupons or special rates. I went the beginning of August and the hotels were $95-$120 ($120 same hotel in early amry was $58). I even had the Traveler's Guide that you can pick up along the Thru-Way. Most places didn't have many of those rooms at that rate held... so the prices were higher than the coupon.

I'll have hotel fees. I'm sitting here now thinking about it. If I fly I'll have car rental and hotel and honestly, I can't see making that trip every month driving alone. When I drove down the beginning of the month, I was in the area I'm thinking about moving to. It took me 8 hours from my house. My hubby is about 1 hour from me so I'd probably be looking at a 10 hr trip. I do have friends here and my Dad also but he remarried so I'm really not trying to stay there when I come up. I'll figure something out. Looks like I'll need another job just to pay from my travel.:) I know that it'll work out though. So many people do it.

Hey Ladies,

I always have airplane and car rental expenses. I stay in our family house in Buffalo so I don't have any hotel expenses. My plane fare from ATL to Buffalo runs anywhere between $160 - $250 round trip. I rarely travel during the summer because the fares are so high. I always rent my car through Priceline.com. I will use travelocity.com to see who has the best rate and I will make a reservation with them; but tehn I go to Priceline. I always request a rate of $12-15 a day and I usually get it (90% of the time). The key with this though is last minute booking. I'll book my car about 3 days before I leave. If all else has, I have the other reservation. I have never used Priceline for hotels but I bet they have good deals too.

During the winter months, I travel up for our trailers every other month. We get trailers faster too at Wende during the winter than during the summer so I take advantage of it.

Budget---what's that?!?!?! I plan for every other month. I start checking flights the day I book the next trailer. I do have 2 credit cards though that I try to keep pretty clear for our trailers.

Well right now for me i have been going once a month , which seems to be working out ok for the both of us , for right now. i am trying not to burn my self out. i wish i could see him more often , but travelling does get expesnse , but his family helps me out alot.

The winter is something diffrent this will be my first winter with him so far and in the moutains, so i will have to see how that works out.

Hey I am in DC he is in Five Points , where do you travel to which facility...

i travel to Shawangunk, is five points near by

[quote=Jaynell]Well right now for me i have been going once a month , which seems to be working out ok for the both of us , for right now. i am trying not to burn my self out. i wish i could see him more often , but travelling does get expesnse , but his family helps me out alot.

The winter is something diffrent this will be my first winter with him so far and in the moutains, so i will have to see how that works out.[/quo

i will find out how far we are from each other and see if we might be able to carpool that way maybe you can visit 2times per month

I've been going average twice a month, each trip is only for the day because i can never afford to spend the night in a motel/hotel, but for the one day back and for its about 70$ but going up because so are the gas prices. about 60 for the gas and 10 for tolls, plus the vending machings so closer to 80$ a trip, if i splurge and stop to eat i ll spend 100 for the day. it's really rediculous, i hate the distance, it just makes everything worse.

I'm in PA and he's at Nassau. Only a 3 hour drive until he transfers. However, whenever I visit which is every chance possible :) I feel very out of place. I have been there countless times and have gotten over the drive and the stress of getting there and back and have even ventured to other places when ther is time. I just don't feel like I belong. I had been to NY with him before he went in but on my own I feel like I stick out like a thumb. Every time I hand over my license you see the look of "Whoa, what is she doing here." I even think people pick up on my Philly accent. Overall, I just think I'm thinking too much. Every time I'm there I try to get over it but it just bugs me. Anyone else feel like this?

I'm in PA and he's at Nassau. Only a 3 hour drive until he transfers. However, whenever I visit which is every chance possible :) I feel very out of place. I have been there countless times and have gotten over the drive and the stress of getting there and back and have even ventured to other places when ther is time. I just don't feel like I belong. I had been to NY with him before he went in but on my own I feel like I stick out like a thumb. Every time I hand over my license you see the look of "Whoa, what is she doing here." I even think people pick up on my Philly accent. Overall, I just think I'm thinking too much. Every time I'm there I try to get over it but it just bugs me. Anyone else feel like this?

RoRive, you shouldn't feel this way:o people come from all over to visit...besides, it's not about that. Try not to think about it.:)

Peace....Rorivter17....I, too, support the position that you should not feel this way. Stay focus on why you are there and everything else is...not important. I believe that many CO and staff persons question why any of us are there to visit...not our issue. Stay Up! Blessings....

My drivers license is from the state of Georgia. The only comment I ever get is how is the weather down there. Granted they may be thinking oher things; but as long as that isn't verbalized to me then there is no issue.

One thing that I have learned to live with while living this life is that there will always be looks, stares and inquiring minds. Very few people understand this life that we have chosen to live. For those of us who travel great distances and greater expense for our loved ones that understanding becomes even further distorted.





I'm in PA and he's at Nassau. Only a 3 hour drive until he transfers. However, whenever I visit which is every chance possible :) I feel very out of place. I have been there countless times and have gotten over the drive and the stress of getting there and back and have even ventured to other places when ther is time. I just don't feel like I belong. I had been to NY with him before he went in but on my own I feel like I stick out like a thumb. Every time I hand over my license you see the look of "Whoa, what is she doing here." I even think people pick up on my Philly accent. Overall, I just think I'm thinking too much. Every time I'm there I try to get over it but it just bugs me. Anyone else feel like this?

Okay, only question I get is "How is Cedar Point?" :p I think it's trying to draw a connection, and maybe even be oddly friendly. I have had very few CO that were just out-and-out rude. There are some, but I haven't encountered them. As a matter of fact, the first time I visited (which was Livingston), if it had been overwhelming or I had experienced too much difficuty, I am sure I would not have gone back. Over the years, I use my quick wit, and sweetly lashing tongue, and let them know they don't know me, and they will not treat me any kind of way. One time, when I visited I told the CO at the visiting desk to take care of my husband and treat him like royalty. He looked at me with that head to the side like a dog and said nothing.

I Live in Michigan & Alfredo is At Five Points. I haven't been to see him.
We talk on the phone and send pictures and write alot.

I hope the weather stays warm up there in NY for the remainder of the month. My FRP is September 23rd and I want to wear this summer dress -- if the weather holds up! It is always warm down here well into November, when it starts to cool off. I can never gauge the weather up there though...I guess I have to prepare for warm and cool weather.

by then it should be like 70s...60s?

I hope the weather stays warm up there in NY for the remainder of the month. My FRP is September 23rd and I want to wear this summer dress -- if the weather holds up! It is always warm down here well into November, when it starts to cool off. I can never gauge the weather up there though...I guess I have to prepare for warm and cool weather.

Check www.weather.com (http://www.weather.com) and look at the 10 day forecast, after you put in teh zip code. They of course are not always right; but at least you can gauge if the dress is in the suitcase ot out.

Ronnie, I think you should go for the summer dress anyway..just wear a sweater if needed.

I am getting married on the 23rd and I haven't gone shopping yet but most likely I'm going to wear something more summery than fall, and I know my butt is going to be wearing sandals....it's going to be hard to ween me off of those...I love open shoes...
Hopefully the 23rd will be a nice day...for both of us!

I love the open shoes too! I hate stockings! The only good thing is that I can get away with open shoes down here until about mid October; so it's not too bad. But even then I switch to mules because I just don't like anything on my legs, except Nuro's hands!!!:D


Ronnie, I think you should go for the summer dress anyway..just wear a sweater if needed.

I am getting married on the 23rd and I haven't gone shopping yet but most likely I'm going to wear something more summery than fall, and I know my butt is going to be wearing sandals....it's going to be hard to ween me off of those...I love open shoes...
Hopefully the 23rd will be a nice day...for both of us!

Hey ladies, just wanted to check in with eveyone and see how the visits are going.. I went up last weekend.. and stayed at the death motel(ha ha ) it wasnt to bad, but it was not to great,

I am going on 9/17/05 and 9/18/05... trying to save my change (lol) ... so we can eat.

I hate stockings too! Rarely you'll catch me in a dress or skirt for that simple reason!

I just can't wait til the 23rd Ronnie, we both have some big days coming up! So excited! :D

Lara -- Sorry that I missed that. Congratulations!!!

It is too bad though that I'll be honeymooning.:D:hee::blush: on your wedding day....ROFLMAO!!! (Just teasing...I couldn't resist that though).



I hate stockings too! Rarely you'll catch me in a dress or skirt for that simple reason!

I just can't wait til the 23rd Ronnie, we both have some big days coming up! So excited! :D

LMAO Ronnie..don't rub it in :( but that time will come soon enough, well maybe not soon enough but it will come :)

You are so right Lara, that time will come...and so will you!:p:D


LMAO Ronnie..don't rub it in :( but that time will come soon enough, well maybe not soon enough but it will come :)

I am trying to squeeze or sneak a visit in on Sunday. I am not sure how to even make it happen. I feel so far apart from him right now. I need to close the distance even if it is only for a few hours. Hmmmm... 390 miles... Maybe????

Rywill -- Go for it!!! Our time is already so limited with them, so take advantage of every opportunity that you get.



I am trying to squeeze or sneak a visit in on Sunday. I am not sure how to even make it happen. I feel so far apart from him right now. I need to close the distance even if it is only for a few hours. Hmmmm... 390 miles... Maybe????

I just got back from my trip up north and my emotions are all over the place. This time I returned home, some 1,000 miles away, ready to pack my stuff and move back up north; even though I know that it isn't the best thing to do for us all.

I just miss him so much. It is just crazy how these feelings just hit you sometimes and today, it hit me like a ton of bricks.:cry:

Ronnie, that's exactly how I was feeling once I returned from our frp. I spent all of the day I returned crying. It's so hard being away from them and even harded after spending a couple of days with them. Take care and feel better. (hugs)I just got back from my trip up north and my emotions are all over the place. This time I returned home, some 1,000 miles away, ready to pack my stuff and move back up north; even though I know that it isn't the best thing to do for us all.

I just miss him so much. It is just crazy how these feelings just hit you sometimes and today, it hit me like a ton of bricks.:cry:

I live in Florida and my husband is in NY. I'm moving to back to NY in Nov. I left him in Nov. 2004 because I had to come back to Florida. I got to see him again in June. I just left again in August to finialize my move it's hard being away from him.

I have my visit planned, I just need to book the hotel. I will visit him on Saturday the 15th and Sunday the 16th of October. I can't wait. It feel like I haven't seen him in years, when in reality it's been 2 months, and by the time I visit it wil be almost 3. The last time I saw him was right before his parole board. We have a lot of catching up to do. I think I need to do something special for our visit.

Enjoy your visit and have a safe trip.I have my visit planned, I just need to book the hotel. I will visit him on Saturday the 15th and Sunday the 16th of October. I can't wait. It feel like I haven't seen him in years, when in reality it's been 2 months, and by the time I visit it wil be almost 3. The last time I saw him was right before his parole board. We have a lot of catching up to do. I think I need to do something special for our visit.

All this traveling is getting to me, and i have to be there in another 2 weeks to say the " I DO"...New Jersey turnpike is the worst, when i get on it i just feel like shooting myself, and this is going and coming. We have talked about me moving back to New York...he would love that, so i can go see him every weekend, but we will see.

Have a wonderful weekend!


I have my visit planned, I just need to book the hotel. I will visit him on Saturday the 15th and Sunday the 16th of October. I can't wait. It feel like I haven't seen him in years, when in reality it's been 2 months, and by the time I visit it wil be almost 3. The last time I saw him was right before his parole board. We have a lot of catching up to do. I think I need to do something special for our visit.

I am in Michigan and my husband is in NY..I am planning on moving to NY when I get my taxes back in March, I can't handle the 16 hr rt drive anymore. I just came back from Ny we just got married Sept 28 and now I am getting ready to do the drive again because he gets sentenced Oct 12th..I will be so glad to move. He couldn't get in trouble in MI..NOOOOO he had to go all the way to NY lol

i too wish i was closer:( i would like to move closer north but i can't afford it.

rywill, how was everthing? when did you move to ohio? i must have missed something.

rywill, how was everthing? when did you move to ohio? i must have missed something.

I haven't gone to visit yet. I have less than two weeks before I'm off to see the wizzard... Just kidding. I have never lived in NY. He and I met in Ohio, over 12 years ago and dated. He grew up in NY; that's where he spent all of his childhood, and early adult years.

Congratulations on your marriage.:) I am in Michigan and my husband is in NY..I am planning on moving to NY when I get my taxes back in March, I can't handle the 16 hr rt drive anymore. I just came back from Ny we just got married Sept 28 and now I am getting ready to do the drive again because he gets sentenced Oct 12th..I will be so glad to move. He couldn't get in trouble in MI..NOOOOO he had to go all the way to NY lol

Thank you, although I still don't really feel married...sounds crazy huh???

Thank you, although I still don't really feel married...sounds crazy huh???

No it doesn't. That thought pops in my mind... but feelings don't make it so. For me it's finding other ways to create intimacy absent of each other's presence.

I understand all the traveling. I wish they could just sentence him to hard labor at home. I have enough household chores for him to do his time sufficiently.:p

InluvwithD, i feel ya on that one...we were just married on the 23rd of sept. and in some ways i don't feel it....like it's not a reality or something.

rywill, i never noticed you in ohio...long drive.


I'll be going up again on friday(my bday):D and i can't wait to see him...first time since we were married.

rywill what part of Ohio are you in??? Congrats on your wedding Lara :) I guess once he comes home I will feel it more :) Although the more people say my new name it sinks in a lil more :) Yeah I wish they would let Darnell do his time back in MI I mean geesh prison is prison no matter where you do the time....all his family is here makes more sense to me :) :)

InLuvwithD -- I have been married to Nuro for almost 12 years now and there are times when I still don't feel married.

I tell people that I am a "married single mother" because in essence that is what I am. None of that means that I don't love Nuro or feel connected to him because Lord knows I do in every sense of the word; but when it comes to running these kids around, playing chaueffeur, paying bills, cleaning house (Rywill I hear ya on the chores!)...I am doing it alone.

By the way I live in Atlanta....No, I do not drive to NY, hell no!....I always fly and yes it gets to be very expensive; but it is just one of those things I do for love!

rywill what part of Ohio are you in???

I am in Central Ohio. Literally in the middle of the state.

Rywill, have you booked your hotel yet?

I am in Central Ohio. Literally in the middle of the state.

Ummmmm No. :( I wanted to wait and make sure I have all the money and the bills are paid first. I keep checking the availability of the rooms. I plan to reserve on Monday.

I know how that is. Hope everything works out and that you are able to go and enjoy some time with your hubby.:) Ummmmm No. :( I wanted to wait and make sure I have all the money and the bills are paid first. I keep checking the availability of the rooms. I plan to reserve on Monday.

Yesterday was a horrible drive. There wasn't too bad 3.5 hours, but coming back...ughhh.

It was raining and there was extra traffic, took me 5 hours to get back...

I really need to think of some type of solution...but I don't know. Don't go as often and save money in between for a room to spend the night and visit twice? But now i only see him twice a month on average and that's hard enough to deal with.:(
I don't know what to do, I need to make more money so I can move closer to him, that's what I really want.
I just feel like I'll never catch up with all my bills...ughhh.

When my hubby was in Clinton which was 5 hours away, I visited once a month but would go up for the weekend and stay in a hotel overnite and visit twice. Then because of the way they ran the frp program there and the fact that you didn't have to have regular visits in between, I started only going up for fpr's since we got one about every 45-50 days.

I know how you feel. I recall those days when Nuro was at Clinton and the drive was 6 hours on a good day and 8 hours during the winter months. The things we do for love...

Honesty I can only make it back up north now for our trailers, unless some other family issue brings me back to NY. Last year I saw him more than I have in a long time because we had some family drama and a death in the family so I had to go back up there more often. I am not wishing for any family problems, but I do wish I could get up there more to see him.

The traveling funds are outrageous! Lara, at least you are driving so the costs aren't are bad as they could be.

I feel like I will never pay off these credit cards. The minute I get them paid down, I am charging plane tickets again to head back up north. I am already dreading the costs for the girls and I to fly home for Christmas and our trailer....UGH!!!:(

Lord please give me the strength and grace to make it through!



Yesterday was a horrible drive. There wasn't too bad 3.5 hours, but coming back...ughhh.

It was raining and there was extra traffic, took me 5 hours to get back...

I really need to think of some type of solution...but I don't know. Don't go as often and save money in between for a room to spend the night and visit twice? But now i only see him twice a month on average and that's hard enough to deal with.:(
I don't know what to do, I need to make more money so I can move closer to him, that's what I really want.
I just feel like I'll never catch up with all my bills...ughhh.

2 more days and I will make that long dreaded trip to NY...this will be the 2nd time in 2 weeks, but unfortanetly it will be the last time for awhile. Darnell gets sentenced Wednesday so I'll have to wait to see where he goes to go visit. I can't wait til march when I can move to NY :) :)

Good luck to you and have a safe trip.2 more days and I will make that long dreaded trip to NY...this will be the 2nd time in 2 weeks, but unfortanetly it will be the last time for awhile. Darnell gets sentenced Wednesday so I'll have to wait to see where he goes to go visit. I can't wait til march when I can move to NY :) :)

InLuvWithD, be careful making that drive. I hope you enjoy your time together.

thank you. I am not too worried about the drive..although it is dreadful, there should be some pretty color changes in the trees, and the thing I am worried about most is his sentencing which is Wednesday. And I get to see him Wed and Thursday :) :)

You both are in my prayers for the sentencing.

thank you. I am not too worried about the drive..although it is dreadful, there should be some pretty color changes in the trees, and the thing I am worried about most is his sentencing which is Wednesday. And I get to see him Wed and Thursday :) :)

Thank you :)

Me too! I will pray for you both.

You and your husband will also be in my prayers.

my baby is in riverview and im all da way in norfolk va i see him every month and i take greyhound and opg it takes all together 14hrs 2 go and and another 14 goin back hes worth it

nvydiznavynena, wow. You spend a full day in traveling. How long have you been making that monthly trip?

I was just checking weather.com to see how I need to dress. The traveling gets more odd when the seasons begin to change, because the weather becomes more drastically differrent.

Unpredictable weather...Tell me about it... My next trip up north will be in December. Am I crazy or what?!?!?!...going to Buffalo in December!!!:p

Rywill - I hope the weather holds up for safe travels to and from. I am hoping for some warmth to come that way. It's been in the mid to low 70's down here.



nvydiznavynena, wow. You spend a full day in traveling. How long have you been making that monthly trip?

I was just checking weather.com to see how I need to dress. The traveling gets more odd when the seasons begin to change, because the weather becomes more drastically differrent.

I was going to try to hold out til the beginning of November til I went again, but I can't I need to see him so I am going this coming Friday. I miss him so much!

Well he only got 22 months!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! :) So now I don't know if I will move I'll have to wait and see...Thanks for all the prayers and support!!!!!!!!

Congrats Jennifer, that's great!

I guess I am a lucky one! I live in Jacksonville, FL and my fiance is in Lake Butler, FL. It is about 30-45 mins away. So, I visit every Saturday and Sunday. He calls everyday, kinda expensive, but I can't go without talking to him. We also write about 2 times a week. I admire all you women who are miles and miles away from you man, and are still by their side.

Hey there my travelling sisters.

Sorry i have been MIA .. but work has been hectic

So how is everyoe doing. I am going this weekend but only for Saturday. I am riding with one of his boys. But i am happy for the ride, so i get to sleep the whole ride(smiling) ... but as always i have saved my change so we can eat...

any one visiting this weekend

Enjoy your visit Jaynell.

I won't get back up to NY until Christmas:(. I was hoping to sneak up there for a visit our anniversary weekend (11/20) but it doesn't look too likely right now...we'll see....



Hey there my travelling sisters.

Sorry i have been MIA .. but work has been hectic

So how is everyoe doing. I am going this weekend but only for Saturday. I am riding with one of his boys. But i am happy for the ride, so i get to sleep the whole ride(smiling) ... but as always i have saved my change so we can eat...

any one visiting this weekend

Have a safe trip Jaynell.

i'm going friday, 3 more days! (assuming my son is recovered) i really can't wait to see him! how am i ever going to do once a month?! and i need to start limiting the visits to once in November :eek: i hope i have some will power!

DO you ever get back home and realize you over spent the budget for the trip; and then in the insanity try to figure out how to schedule another trip? That's where I am right now. I took him a small package; which was not calulated and I spent more on dinner. Neither will kill me; but the cost with gas and the hotels was alot. I want to go in early November. That's less than a month away. Not sure how to save for that or swing it.

Any of you ever calculate how much money you spend in a 6 month or 1 year timeframe in visits?

I would probably DIE if I did that!!!;) Our trailers alone cost me at least $500 and that is when I go alone. If I bring the girls then we can add another $500 to that. If I go for a regular visit my travel expenses don't change, I am just not bying food so that cuts off about $125; but it still costs as least $300.

Well let's see in the past 6 months we have had 3 trailers so that is $2,000 :eek: (2 were just us and 1 was with the girls)....WOW!!!

Any of you ever calculate how much money you spend in a 6 month or 1 year timeframe in visits?

well i spend about 200 a month going there, so like 1200 in 6 months...ughh that's crazy. that's a lot of money. and then when we start the FRPs it'll be more...oh nooo!

Every trip i make to NY it costs me $200, hey i might just move back to NY cause the cost is killing me

I don't want to talk about it!!!!!!!!!!! But I would love to be able to spend the money right now again and go visit.....:) I need 3 more jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone this is my 1st time posting an ad and will be my first time going to see my man is Elmira.:) I am sooo confused and scared a lil bit because of all the things that need to be done b4 hand.. Does anyone have any advice (for hotels and all that).

Hey Ladies! It is a frigid 52 degrees down here in Atlanta.:p I am freezing to death!!! I cannot believe that I grew up in Buffalo -- the coldest place in NY! I am dying here today. I am sitting here thinking about the next time I head back up north for Christmas. I am willingly going home to see my Boo and the family to deal with the snow and the cold! BRRR!!!! I must be crazy! Yeah I am...Crazy in love!!!:D

How are all of my traveling sisters doing?

I live in Ohio Jeff is in Green Haven in New York.It is a 10 hour ride I see him about every 3 months. I t`s hard to get away from work. I miss him terrible but we talk twice a day most days which is soo expensive but worth it. He has 9 months left and believe me i`m counting the weeks days and hours.

Hey ladies,

well i went this past weekend and the visit was ok, but my travel was the worse this far.Long story short i took his daughter with me, and she was sick, throwing up in the car and on the visit. not to mention her mother did not pack enough clothes for her or papmers oh and no wipes and to top it off. I rode up with one of his boys who i thought was going to do all the driving, well i was sadly mistaken. I had drove to NY from DC (4.5) hours to meet him, and we left at 2am, from the Bronx(NY) well he was to tired to drive so i had to drive. Half sleep and beat down up for almost 24 hours straight driving in no mans country, then he finally drove for about 45 minutes.... and the same scenario on the ride going back..

So least to stay i will continue driving from DC doing my 6.5 hours and keep it moving...

have a great day to you all.. anyone dancing this weekend

My finacee is in Florida and I am in NY and was going ever other weekend to see him. He calls me everyday and we also write. Seems we are inseparatable.

Oh Jaynell, sorry to hear about your trip...sounds like it was a real trip!!!

Sometimes it is better to do this thing solo!:)

Hey ladies,

well i went this past weekend and the visit was ok, but my travel was the worse this far.Long story short i took his daughter with me, and she was sick, throwing up in the car and on the visit. not to mention her mother did not pack enough clothes for her or papmers oh and no wipes and to top it off. I rode up with one of his boys who i thought was going to do all the driving, well i was sadly mistaken. I had drove to NY from DC (4.5) hours to meet him, and we left at 2am, from the Bronx(NY) well he was to tired to drive so i had to drive. Half sleep and beat down up for almost 24 hours straight driving in no mans country, then he finally drove for about 45 minutes.... and the same scenario on the ride going back..

So least to stay i will continue driving from DC doing my 6.5 hours and keep it moving...

have a great day to you all.. anyone dancing this weekend

Jaynell, did your man know you drove all that distance to get there? That was pretty rude for him to have you do all that driving. And the mom... she must have trusted that you would step in and take care of the baby. I know I wouldn;t let my child go somewhere sick, it's not fun for anyone.

I am so sorry your visit didn't turn out as you thought. With the exception of seeing your loved one, it may even feel like a headache or a waste. Next time.... I guess SOLO will never feel so good.

I like having the company on the drive, but when I get there I want my time. That's probably bad for me to say; but I get frustrated, because when there are other people, we never leave on time, and the distraction of having them around. I am such a BRAT!

Jaynell, did your man know you drove all that distance to get there? That was pretty rude for him to have you do all that driving. I am so sorry your visit didn't turn out as you thought. With the exception of seeing your loved one, it may even feel like a headache or a waste. Next time.... I guess SOLO will never feel so good.
I like having the company on the drive, but when I get there I want my time. That's probably bad for me to say; but I get frustrated, because when there are other people, we never leave on time, and the distraction of having them around. I am such a BRAT!

Well i told him i did most of the driving and he was upset asked his cousing why????????????? but i say Never Again, i will drive alone unless it is really someone i can trust. I am a brat also and it killed me to be on the visit with the "whole" family. I dont even want to talk about the mother, i will just pray for her. Funny i did not even spend that much time with Dre becasue i was so sleepy i kept dozzing off. I might go on this sunday i have a little extra money, plus it is his birthday so i am thinking of suprising him for a visit.

Hey Ladies! Just checking in to see if any of us are preparing to make the trip to NY for the holidays? We are going for 8 days! I am so excited to get to spend so much time with Nuro. We have our trailer during that time as well, so it will be a really great trip. I am getting ready for the cold and the snow. I am really kind of looking forward to the snow.

Be safe my traveling sisters!

well i am in los angeles & he's in Rikers Island. i am making my first trip to see him on the 7th of December. a lot of people have said it isn't worth it because we only get an hour, but the fact that i will get to sit up close and touch him is worth it to me (he was in LA country before they sent him to NYC and there they only have 15minute no-contact visits). also, i am taking our newborn son, so my fiance will get to see his little boy for the first time! i'm SOOOO excited to see him & happy he will finally get to see our son. i pray it lifts his spirits, as he has been a little depressed and very stressed out lately. as far as costs...i lucked out and found a ticket on jet blue for $215 round trip. jet blue became my NY to LA airline when i lived in brooklyn. they always have pretty good deals. i'm also saving money because i dont have to pay for a hotel, we are staying w/ my fiance's mother. i am, however, having to spend a bit of money getting some warm-weather clothes for my son & i and i am taking my fiance a package, but all in all this trip is costing me around $500-600. we will see how this goes, i am planning on going to see him every 2 months or so...i can afford that as long as i stick to a budget. in the mean time, the phone calls are going to kill us. he calls aprox 3-4 times a day. i can't imagine not speaking to him everyday, but i think we may need to cut it back (maybe to just once a day) & i'm also going to look into another phone service plan. for now...i will try to save where i can save and splurge where i can afford to splurge. i guess i will have to figure it all out VERY soon. ideas?

do any of you NY ladies use Prison Calls Online? i'm considering using them, as they can save me a lot of money & forward the calls to my cell. any experience with them ladies?

I have no immediate plans to travel, but if the weather holds long enough I hope to make it to visit before the year ends. This weather has been so crazy from the teens to the low 70's. I wish that I could visit Christmas eve and Christmas Day, but my son may potest not seeing me either day.

It's tough, but we make it work. I fly into Syracuse every other month, rent a car and drive another 2-3 hours north to see him. We talk almost daily. Except when he was in the box. I wrote him everyday. While we can talk again, I write maybe once or twice a week still. My phone bills have been up in the $2,000 range! But I love my baby and I miss him so much!

I'll be heading north soon and yes this trip is costing me a small fortune; but he is worth it!

Salty - I checked into PCO but it is much more expensive than what MCI charges. They were going to charge me like $15 for 30 minutes and MCI charges $8.50 for 30 minutes. But if all you have is a cell phone then it is really the only way to get calls even if they are going to be expensive.

Miko - We do not talk nearly as often as you guys. We talk for one hour each week (2-clicks) usually on Sundays. We both write often though so it balances out.

Rywill - I am praying for a break in the weather so you can see your hubby!

You know you can have your calls forwarded from a home phone line, right? It only costs like an extra $1.95 a month to have call forwarding service added to your home line and then have it all forwarded to your cell. Then you don't have to sit at home by the phone. :)

Not that I do this, as this can hurt phone privileges if they found out. It's just what I heard from a friend..........:cool:

Hello My Traveling Sisters! I am just about packed for 8 long days with my baby! We'll be in the trailer for 2 days and I'll be running up there to see him every day that I am there. I am so excited!

Rywill - Did you brave the elements and make the trip? I talked to my hubby today and he said that Buffao had good weather so I hope the drive was a good one for you.

Be safe everyone who may be traveling during the holidays.

Ronnie, that is so wonderful, I am so happy for you...it brought tears up in my eyes...alright, alright, I'm pms'n but still...awwww.
I wish I could stay up there longer, I'm only going for the day on FRiday but hopefully I'll be able to go back in 2 weeks...

HAve a safe trip girl! Will you be able to get on the computer while you're visiting?

Thanks Lara!:D Yes gurl the laptop will be traveling with me. Unfortunately, I do have to do some work while I am away but that also means that I'll get to pop on PTO every now and then and shout out to my gurls!

Happy Holidays!

Have a safe trip Ronnie... enjoy!

Yes, I made the trip. The trip going was fine. On the way home coming back into Ohio, was when the snow started. By the time I was 60 miles from home, I was sick of driving. I saw a few cars slide off the road. All-in-all, it was a very good trip.

Lara, I feel you. It makes you say.... awwww....that is so sweet.

just checking...better check in so we know you had a safe trip...I'm so excited for you!

You know you can have your calls forwarded from a home phone line, right? It only costs like an extra $1.95 a month to have call forwarding service added to your home line and then have it all forwarded to your cell. Then you don't have to sit at home by the phone.

FYI, this is against policy so becareful.

How are my traveling sisters doing out there? I am planning now for my next trip up north next month. I miss him so much. I am hoping for some price breaks. I spent so much money during Christmas up there and I need a break!

Ronnie, I don't know how you do it. I could never afford to fly everytime I want to visit...if that were the case I'd be up here twice a year if we were lucky.
The 100$ I spent for the day Friday left me broke for the next 2 weeks.
Damnit, why can't he just be on housearrest until he comes up for parole?!:angry:

I am not sure Lara how I do it either. It just sort of works itself out. Thank God!

House arrest...now that sounds lovely...I'd take it!:D


Ronnie, I don't know how you do it. I could never afford to fly everytime I want to visit...if that were the case I'd be up here twice a year if we were lucky.
The 100$ I spent for the day Friday left me broke for the next 2 weeks.
Damnit, why can't he just be on housearrest until he comes up for parole?!:angry:

I live in RI,he's in NY. Now it's only 3 hrs each way. I go every other week. Talk at least once a week,and try to write twice a week. I'm thankful he's not in Buffalo anymore.That was a hard drive w/ an infant.

I'm from NY, but I'm currently in CT for school, and he's in Mass. I try my best to visit him but its hard with school, work, theres no free time. I haven't seen my boo since December. I know the distance is not alot b/c you go state to state from NY TO CT THEN TO MA, but still its not easy. But we make it up with alot of letters and phone calls. Well, I get to see him in May can't wait till then.

JILOVE

(DAMN, CANT WAIT TO FINISH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR AND GET THAT CAR!!):angry:

I am in Ohio & he is in NY & we moved from Arizona me by my own choice he was extradicted. I've never even been to NY so it might as well be in China!!:ha: He is still in reception at Downstate been there since the begining of March so he is expecting to be transfered any time. Once he gets to where he is going then maybe I can go see him.:)

I know the long drives. They really test the limits sometimes. My longest trek to see him was 14 hrs one way(once).Be patient. Drive safe.

The summer months are approaching and that is usually when I visit more. However, the price of gas may put a dent in that. With gas being almost $3 a galloon and in my travles maybe over $3, it will be almost $100 to visit just for the day in travel expenses.

Anyone else work out their visiting plans for the summer?

yes rywill, just last night it went up 10cents, from 279 to 289. thats rediculous. For me now it's about 90 for travel expenses not including money for the vending mach. and pictures.
geesh.

I know what you all mean, for me the fuel surcharges hit the airlines too so I am seeing crazy increases in fares. He may only get 1 or 2 visits this summer.

at Downstate--he MIGHt end up being sent far away from there-or to Western New York-which would put him closer to you in Ohio. something to hope for.

I am in Ohio & he is in NY & we moved from Arizona me by my own choice he was extradicted. I've never even been to NY so it might as well be in China!!:ha: He is still in reception at Downstate been there since the begining of March so he is expecting to be transfered any time. Once he gets to where he is going then maybe I can go see him.:)

Has he gotten moved to his more permanent location?

I am in Ohio too, and have made the drive to many facilites in NY. Like Momma Ann said, hopefully he will get somewhere in Western NY, which would help the distance for you.

I live in CT and my husband is incarcerated in NY. I drive approximately 5 hours each way - which means if I'm not paying for a hotel... my day is extremely long. I try to visit every week, which entails me driving twice per month (typically every other week)... and the other weeks I drive an hour to NYC to meet up with my inlaws and ride with them upstate.

It's hard. 5 hours of driving in the morning, 6 1/2 hours on the visit, and 5 hours of driving home.

I live in CT and my husband is incarcerated in NY. I drive approximately 5 hours each way - which means if I'm not paying for a hotel... my day is extremely long. I try to visit every week, which entails me driving twice per month (typically every other week)... and the other weeks I drive an hour to NYC to meet up with my inlaws and ride with them upstate.

It's hard. 5 hours of driving in the morning, 6 1/2 hours on the visit, and 5 hours of driving home.

Diceyswife, I know what you mean about a long day with driving and visiting and then driving home.

I don't visit as often. I can't afford it and my weekends are full of other things. That is a lot of wear and tear on you and your vehicle. I'm glad you get to visit often though, it mean then world.

Yes I can definitely relate to those long and exhausting, but so worth it days.
For the time being my plans are to visit once a month. In the past I've gone twice a month and then there was a time where i couldn't afford to go for 2 months.
But now we're trying to keep it steady.

I'm from NY but moved to NC 9 months ago--this is so hard--I can't afford to see him since I have to fly Hopefully I will be able tostart like 4 times a year-------THIS SUCKS!!!!!

Has he gotten moved to his more permanent location?

I am in Ohio too, and have made the drive to many facilites in NY. Like Momma Ann said, hopefully he will get somewhere in Western NY, which would help the distance for you.


Yes he just got moved to 5 points I think it is like 475 miles from me I live about 60 miles from Dayton Oh I live at Indian Lake I don't know if you've heard of it or not. It is about 70 miles from Columbus.:confused:

rywill where are you at in ohio?

Last time, travelled 11 hours up, 14 hours back, for a three-hour visit. That's because it works out like that with the buses I have to take and the time I have to wait to see him. I live in Philly, he's in Groveland (Upstate N.Y.).

I'm a native New Yorker, live here in Queens. He's in Florida, and has been in a few other states. Since he's been in Florida, I haven't visited. I don't drive and many of these places to get to are just about near impossible and expensive to commute to. When he was in Pa, he was in Allenwood, I think thats what it was called. It was in the back of beyond. I did visit him there, and let me tell you, it's like 3 hours from anywhere. It was a sort of neat area, but my sister, who drove me up said there was nothing for her to do during the day there....and it drove me crazy. Now I have learned that if I can't get there myself, under my own steam, I don't ask anyone else to take me. He was transferred some time ago to a place in upstate NY that even though I'm in NY was Impossible for me to get to....it was near Canada/Ohio, and just a real hard commute. He's been in Florida almost 2 years now, and it's probably one of the better places he's been, jail wise. However, I'm glad he's getting out and doing the halfway house thing in Sept.

I loved seeing him on visits, but it was the strangest feeling, and not a comfortable one, even though the staff was pleasant and new experiences for me are sort of enjoyable on some level. It was just this feeling like 'wow, it takes alot to get in here, and do this.' and I'm glad in some ways he's in the place he is, they are very nice to him there, very professional, and decent.

However, he tells me that what is sad is that there are so many young people coming in, young men who really need to learn about life. The kind of unit he was in never used to have alot of this....but now, things are changing. I'm glad that he's finally going to be eligable for Halfway House soon.

Fyre

I'm in Caifornia and my man is in New York.

Hey I know the feeling I used to live in NY. But moved back down to NC. I just got back last week from a visit and man does it take a toll on the body and mind. I miss him like nothing else. I try to keep busy but at night when he is not there with me it is so hard.

I'm fortunate that I'm originally from NY and know my way around and have family and friends. I drive to NY on Friday nights (3-3.5 hours) , spend the night in NY, get up the next morning drive to Otisville (through NJ, it's actually faster) 1.15 hours - spend Saturday (almost 7 hours) with him go back to the City - find something to do movies, visit friends, etc. then repeat the process on Sunday, then drive back to Maryland. The last visit I took one of his relatives with me on Sunday which meant I had to drive back to the City on Sunday, which wound up to be Sunday dinner, etc., got back home at midnight and I get up for work at 5:30 am. It took me a day or two to feel like I was fully rested. Next trip, just me and him on Sunday afternoon - then I'm heading right back home. While the weather is good, I've been doing it 2 times per month. When the weather turns in winter, it will probably be adjusted - I hate NY in the snow.

Peace....I have not posted here for a long time...do want to shared that my friend was at Otisville...the first prison I ever visited. What I honestly admired about some of the men there is that they are actively involved in the struggle for parole restoration. Along with some men at some of the other prisons. Just thought I share with you...Blacklove. Blessings...

Your post I can relate to. My son is in upstate NY near Canada! I live in Massachusettes. I find it difficault on may levels physically, mentally, and spiritually too! It's expensive I have to have money for bus tickets, food, hotel lodging,and money for him,clothes, magazines etc. I travel alone, folks don't want to drive up to NY state, if there ain't "no party"...I hope to visit at least once a month but even that's not always a reality. I receive letters from my son, phone calls are blocked. It's much more expensive to have a loved one in another state for long distant phone calls....

How do you deal with that? I feel for you. My son is in another state too.

Yes I can relate to the weird times the van would leave from NYC to go upstate! I had to come from Boston, to NYC then get on the van and travel for HOURS, it was like being on a never - ending bus ride! I only can write to my son at this point in time...I hope to have someone from my town to drive up for a visit, so far it looks promising.

ro i was traveling rom bklyn to auburn twice a month but if he was in the box i did every week

How are the travels going? The fall and winter will soon be upon us and for me that slows the traveling down. I'll be back up in NY in November for our anniversary FRP.

Wishing everyone safe travels.

I woke up this morning and turned on the weather channel like I normally do only to find out that it is snowing in Buffalo. Of course I am used to snow in Buffalo having lived their most of my life but snow in mid October is not normal!!! I am traveling there for my FRP in a month...I better get ready to brave the cold!!!

Peace....Ronnie, Have a wonderful visit at your FRP! I, too, woke up this AM to the news of snow in Buffalo. I work with a man who is from Buffalo. He shared a story about a snowstorm, years ago, that literally kept folk in doors for days. I can not imagine. Good day, all! Blessings....

I woke up this morning and turned on the weather channel like I normally do only to find out that it is snowing in Buffalo. Of course I am used to snow in Buffalo having lived their most of my life but snow in mid October is not normal!!! I am traveling there for my FRP in a month...I better get ready to brave the cold!!!

Yes ma'am you better. I am glad I was not planning a surprise visit this weekend. I get a little concerned with this early snow with how bad it will be next month, December and definitely Jan.

I lived in FL and he in NY flying here was a pain so finally I left that godforesaken place and have moved north...traveling to all the different facilities he's been transferred to since I got here in '95, but living in the same area

I live in New York City and thats far enough because he is in Attica so the drive is far. Now it's snowing in Buffalo so I really need to think about when to go see him.

BpJ
Missing My Soulmate club #163

Im originally from Elmira, NY but moved to NC last year. He's still in NY and it sucks cause I can only see him 2 maybe 3 times a year. Airfare is way too expensive for my son and I to see hime more than that. All mine and his family still lives in NY though so he is straight!

I am hoping the snow stays away next week for my visit. How are the traveling ladies doing as the holidays approach? Many visiting during the holidays?

Im coming home Dec 22-30 so I will get 1 visit--wish there was more time!!

I live in Los Angeles California, my fiance is in NY. I moved from New York area in July-the last time I saw him. He's been writing me letters everyday, I do the same. And he keeps begging me to come visit him. I really can't afford the trip. Money has been really slow lately and I am praying that I can come for Christmas holidays.

He is in Southport Cadre unit. I was wondering if anybody knows how crowded it gets for visiting during the holidays? If I sacrifice and by a ticket to get there, will I have a problem being able to see him due to overcrowdedness?

I live in VA and he's in NY. I see him on average once a month cuz I'm in school and have small children who need me more than he does. But I am so used to the commute that the 12hr ride one way does not bother me anymore. Still, I'll be happy when it is all over. we speak 2ce a week, and he writes me 3 times a week. I do not write as much as he does, but tha tis understood. He's a great guy and that is why I do it, otherwise, I would not bother at all.

Over the ocean.