Today I received Shawn's letter about "life on the inside"....it really affected me, and I hope he will write more. Like most in ad seg, he only goes outdoors for an hour a day, at best.

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It's 3:00 a.m.
I can't sleep.

It could be the pulsing rumble of men, half-insane, screaming out their grievances. The fact that it's cold is not helpful....but I'm used to it.

The relentless concern of my sanctuary being invaded by the firm hand of justice weighs on my open eyelids. All of that is manageable....what I can't stand is the burning light that I can not turn off. 24/7 there is a light on in my cell. To cover my face leads me to feel like I'm suffocating. So, I lie in my bed, basking in the semi-lightness somewhere between dusk and dawn.

The system is set up to keep you unbalanced. They wake you up at 4:30 a.m., 6:00 a.m., 8:30 a.m., 12:00 p.m., 5:00 p.m., 6:30 p.m., and then at 1 a.m.. I know you know what it feels like to be exhausted. I could cry for my freedom, or cry for more food. But there will be a tear in my eye if I get a solid night's sleep.

It's 3:05 a.m.
I can't sleep.

Shawn Wayne Sands
December 2002
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Susan in Providence

What Shawn wrote in just 5 minutes said SO much. I don't understand why they have to have a light on like that. Just to make them even more miserable??

Shawn, Thank you for sharing with us 5 minutes of what you are going through. It really affected me too...I hope you write more sometime...maybe in sharing and showing others what you go through, perhaps will bring you some relief, in whatever way it can...

Pam

Thank you Shawn, I have a son in the SHU in California and although given the life I live now I can never walk in your shoes and experience what you do but I will always be walking beside you. Love Barbara

Oh, what a letter. Bless his heart. I can't function without my sleep. I don't know how they do it. I guess they have no other choice. My prayers are with him and all those enduring the sub-human conditions behind bars.

Oh Shawn I'm so sorry !! :( I have to agree with Pam, you say so much in 5 minutes !!!
Thank you for sharing a bit of your long sleepless nights with us. I wish the Sandman will come for you.
All the best and stay strong
Philippe

Shawn,

Your words touched my heart. I am so sorry. :(

Shawn, I work 3rd shift and have my sleep all screwed up and having two teenage daughters that don't understand mom needs to sleep during the day, well lets just say that sleep sometimes is not in my vocabulary. I know how exhausted I get and how emotionally draining it can be. However, I am able to find relief at times and I honestly don't know how you can do it. You must be a strong person to handle this. This just shows your character and strength.

Thank you for sharing some of your world with us. It helps those of us out here to understand more.

Joy

Thank you for sharing with us Shawn. You're in my thoughts!

seg is hard time.. the worst time.. Hang in there...

Phil,

It's funny you said that....Shawn's nickname is "Sandman".

Thanks to all for your warm words of encouragement; I am printing out this thread to send to him.

Susan in Providence

BLESS YOUR HEART SHAWN.......I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT HELL THAT IS.....BUT I KNOW MY SON KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.......HE IS SERVING A LIFE SENTENCE........HANG IN THERE ......SWEETIE............SHERRON