Hi, I would like do know if there is anyone out there who has a loved that has experienced being on "lock down." I am new to Delaware and I met a man and fell in love with him. I've been with this person for almost a year now. He was incarerated 2 yrs ago for drug trafficking. He told me had been selling drugs on the street since he was 14 years old. He was arrested and put in jail when he was 22 yrs old. I recently moved to the suburbs of New Castle to a very quiet condominium development this man and I moved in together but I started to notice strange behavior with him. At night about 9 pm it's gets extremely quiet and we live on the first floor of three story building. I would notice that he was always jump up at the least little bit of noise. Like if someone was walking up stairs if he heard people walking down the steps. He works for a moving company and some days they would've have work for him so he would stay while I went to work. From the time I met him I new he had a drinking problem but it didn't bother me because my father was a heavy drinker and he wasn't violent when he drink he just went to sleep. So I noticed he started drinking more and more and started acting more strangely. So I asked him what was wrong. He told me that the neigbors were harassing him and somebody call him a bitch and that when I was not home that the people upstairs were calling him names through the walls. I knew then that somebody was wrong. So it all came to a head one night when he started acting real hyper and called his boys over because he was tired of the "neighbors" bothering him. I told him to just leave because I knew there was no "neighbors" bothering him. The people around here are very quiet and friendly I have never had any problems with them. So he went to live with his mother and sister. I have a very good relationship with his family so one evening when he wasn't home I called his mother and sister and asked them if something was wrong with him that I should now about. They said he didn't start acting like that until he got out of prison.

As it stands now I still am with this man and love him very much his "condition" has gotten worse. He is almost off of parole in one week but he has been heavily drinking and I sat down to talk to him and that's when he told me when he was put in prison he couldn't handle it and tried to kill himself and that he was put in "lock down." Now I'm not the most street savy person so I really didn't understand was he was talking about until I went on line and saw pictures of the solitary confinement cells and how small they were. Here's my delimma he has been asking for help and he asked me to take him the state hospital because the condition is getting worse he can't even sleep at night and thinks people are going to kill him because when he was on the street he had a tough image so when we he was put on lockdown that showed a sign of weakness so he is always scared and saying people are after him because they think he is weak. And says he hears voices that tell him to hurt himself. How do I help this man. His whole family are heavy drinkers when I told him he wanted to go the hospital they were against it and I don't feel it's my place to take him there since I'm not the immediate family. I'm not married to him nor have any children with him but he is a very good person. He works hard everyday and takes very good care of his two daughters. I'm not scared to be around but I feel he does need help with the paranoia before he hurts himself. I called several programs and they will only help him if he is detoxed first which means he has stayed in a program and be "locked up." His family is against that because they are in denial because they are all heavy drinkers so they feel he is not that crazy to be in a mental instutiton and they say his drinking is not that bad. Are there any outpatient programs to help someone like him because I love him and hate to see him going through this and he is reaching out for help but I don't know what to do. And honestly I don't his family is help because all they to do is give him liquor to help him sleep. That's all they do is drink from morning to night. Any suggestions?????

My husband was in lockdown for quite a while, but he is now in regular population now. I don't know if he will have any affects when he comes home. My only advice for you is to follow what he wants to do and to try and get him help. Checkout the outpatient programs by getting ahold of someone that has to do with "behavioral health" in your state. He has two different issues going on, apparently, alcoholism and maybe "tramatic stress disorder" from being in lockdown so long. I'm not sure, but I would just keep calling places and see if anyone can help you. He could also call places and seek help for himself. I hope you are able to get him the help he needs.
Best wishes & God Bless

Thanks for your reply we did call a few places on Friday and I made an appointment to visit one pm Monday with him so maybe we will get him the help he needs. He has also been calling a few places himself and talking to different help lines. God bless you and your husband.

poodicia:

First let me say he's lucky as can be to have you!

Also, it's good that he's aware of his problem and wants to get help for it. So many guys in his shoes don't.

Keep in mind that he might be violating his parole by drinking, so I'd do my darndest to keep the state from finding out. Sounds like he's got enough good sense to not do anything crazy.

I'd try to find anything, anywhere, where he can get help. Even if it's AA (at least it's free, and they might be able to bird-dog you to treatment programs). Also try faith-based charities.

He needs help, and push to get it to him. If he wants the help, help him get it, and don't worry about his folks. (Sounds like they might be part of the problem . . . . )

Let us know what happens. I'm not religious, but I'll pray for you both anyway.

best

abner

incompetants runing prison system in delaware lock down lazy C.Os make no money than whine to make money you get what the state pays for INCOMPETANTS