Hello ladies and gentlemen!!!! My name is Haley and my fiance of five years is serving five years in prison due to his addiction for meth. He has already served two in county and just now went to prison. Before he went in it was aweful. He was lying to me and staying out late at night.:( A few times he would come to me and tell me that he wanted to quite. So i would try to help, but he would get so sick....throwing up....fever....shaking....just having really bad withdrawls. Being that we had just had a baby i didn't have any money to put him in a rehab. Well money became a problem for him to get the drug so he began cooking meth....and unfortunatly selling it!:( He got picked up and i bailed him out and then 2 months later he got caught again. When he got sentenced they sentenced him to a drug rehabilitation center, but at the reception center they said he didn't qualify. To me this is really sad for alot of us out here loving a drug addict. I think that prison won't help my Chris with his drug addicition. But that is the system, right? Well that is my long sad story.....i would love to hear others!!! I am so happy that i found PTO!!! So many of you help me with my problems and i thank all of you!!!! ((((HUGS TO YOU ALL))))

Well, first of all welcome to PTO!!! You have definitely come to the right place. I haven't spent much time in this forum, but I read your story and I feel like we have a similar situation. My baby, too, was denied rehab and is now sentenced to prison. I know that it won't help his addiction other than the fact that he has been clean for the six months that he has been gone. Rehab would really help get his mind right when he gets out. But that's the system for ya. Anyway, if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me any time. I feel like we have a lot in common.

First off, you have to ask yourself If he is the man you want for the rest of your life. He has to want to get off the stuff hisself. You cant do it for him. I went through the same thing but I was married for almost 20 years before it happened to me. If I was you, I would take a good long look at your relationship with him and how much you love him. Follow your heart, it knows.........

Hey Haley!!! Welcome to PTO!!!! (((hugs)))

Eddy and I BOTH were into this game, bigtime. The only difference between us is he didn't quit when I did and he got busted for manufacturing and I didn't....I had taken the kids and left in an attempt to get myself off the crap and to shake him up into quitting (which obviously, didn't work).

People can beat this addiction. It takes enormous strength and will to do it, and a complete and total lifestyle change. You have to crave health, wellness, and sanity more than you crave the dope. It sucks, even 3 years later (btw today is my 3 year sobriety anniversary!!!!) and there ARE times when a trigger happens but I resist. I've gained 50 lbs since I went clean, but I'll trade being overweight for being out of my mind any day of the week :)

I didn't go through any treatment or NA to get clean or maintain sobriety, but I do recommend it. I also recommend you to seek out support for yourself as someone who loves an addict. Al-Anon or something similar that NA might have?

Your man has a long road ahead of him. Prison is NOT the best solution for an addict who needs treatment and a reason to stay sober, but all too often that's what they get. They're not about rehabilitation, they're about punishment, plain and simple, IMO. If your man has a treatment mandate, I hope his program is a good one. Hang in there, hun!!!!

Hey Haley, Yes i so agree with you on that prison will not help our men that are drug addicts. Just like you Brennan was accepted to a drug rehab and everything but the Judge said that he would have to go to Prison then maybe Rehab in 2 years. I feel if he doesnt get any rehab that he will be back where he started before stealing money to buy crack and basically making my life a living H*ll. I hate how the system thinks this will help drug addicts but really it doesn't. Who knows I just hope that maybe if Chris can get out early the judge will send him to Rehab like we are hoping with Brennan. Girlie i am always here for ya. I love ya girl!! PM me sometime Hugs!!!

Hey Amber, thanks for understanding how I feel. I hope that Brennan and Chris get the help that they need. This is my prayer for you, weston, brennan, chris, me and Elishah. They need the help. They have wonderful families to come to home to that need them. PM me and let me know how you, brennan and weston are doing. I love you too girly!!! (((HUGS)))

Welcome to PTO Haley,
I understand exactly where you are coming from with this drug scene. We have been thru pure living hell with my youngest son, Matt. He has been using meth for several years and then the cooking and selling stage. The bad thing for us was that unfortunately my son was a "good cook" and all his friends and their friends begged him to do this and he not only like the drug and the money but he like the "power" he had over others in this situation. He was caught three times in a two years. Never having been to court on the first one. It was truly a sad situation. He had became terribly violent and I once thought that I has watched him kill his daughters mother. Not that I didnt try and stop him, but that I couldnt do anything with him at all.
He is/was looking at 65 plus years in prison. Thank God we don't live in the states that you all live in, as the judge here was more than willing to send him to a rehab, we just had to find one. Thank God we did and he has been there for three months and is doing great. He will have to stay at the rehab for at least 12 months possibly 18 and then when he goes to court the people from the rehab are going to go with him to inform the judge that he has changed and how good he is doing.
Just hang in there if you really love him an IF he is ready to give up that sort of life he will be more than glad to do it, not only for you but for himself first and foremost. You both will be in my prayers.

EddysWife..congrats on your sobriety and finding your sanity. You are a rare person to quit cold turkey. I agree with you that support groups and treatment are helpful. There are also online support message boards for anyone going through addiction problems. They are helpful for yourself or the addict.

WELCOME TO THE PTO FAMILY

Hi Haley....i feel for you...the system is barbaric...and could care less about rehabilitation...

but........can he receive visits, literature...because here in so cal, na narcotics anonymous sends literature...haave people who will visit addicts locked up..often, the person will find an na sponsoer through the visits..

i know it is hard to stay sane in insane places....but, encourage him to stick with those who are trying to change...staying away from drugs..

you can pm me anytime..

mine is an addict he is doing well ---luckily in so cal many of the prisons have drug rehabilitation programs...if the person wants to participate...but, it is still prison...so i think it works well...so they learn to live life on life's terms, structure, discipline...

but, there is always hope...mine is finally getting it after being an addiict for about 20 yrs.

much peace and love all of you trying to work through addiction and our relationships
fondly francis

I wanted to Thank all of you ladies for your kind words and support. I finally got Chris into a drug rehabilitation program in alva. it is for drug offenders only. he has only been there for about a week. so far he sais it is hard cause it's a boot camp for the first 12 weeks. It won't do him any harm to get up at 6 am now will it ladies? HAHAHA Well ladies thank you for all your support. I would love for you to share your stories with me. I'm sure we have all been through just about the same in life with loving a drug addict!!! PM me or IM me. email deleted by admin I can't wait to hear from you all. If you don't feel like pm me or im me just post in this thread!!!! (((HUGS))) to you and your loved ones. I have all of you in my prayers!!!!

haley, this is great news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 your probably saving his life...and,, yeah boot camp is EXACTLY what he needs...i'll pm you tomorrow..i am so sleepy...i can barely get this msg out!!!

believe in miracles!!
much peace and love
francis

Thanks francis.....so much....i am excited too! He is doing so good. He started a class called "Cage your Rage" and he said that it is a wonderful class! He is still in the boot camp part but is on his way to the drug classes. It's a really nice prison. They have 0 drugs there. They run the drug dogs everyday at 2pm. Imagine how expensive that is for them to do that. I thank God everyday that we made it this far. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!! I can't visit until he gets off the boot camp, wich will be another 2 months. I make sure that I write and let him know that I love him everyday. I offer words of encouragment and tell him about the Lord as much as I can. I can't wait until he is off the boot camp so he can go to church, he went to church in county and he really learned alot! Well francis pm me so we can chat....maybe even exchange screen names so it's easier to chat. I hope all is going well for you and the rest of you ladies. Thank you so much for posting. (((HUGS))) to you and your family!!!

Haley- I never got around to welcoming you here!
You couldn't have come to a better place for support and answers!
Glad to have ya girl! :)

Haley, welcome to the PTO family. Here as you can see there are warm, caring and supportive folks. You will also find a wealth of knowledge here. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.