I'm really beside myself right now. I've been engaged to a woman who had become my best friend, we actually are just about to get married while she is still got 2 years left before parole. What I need advice on is I just found out that she has been taking unprescribed anti depressants since October. I have noticed a change in her behavior over the past couple of weeks. She told me she needed them in order to deal with the pressure of being locked up for so long. She's been in for 11 years. Well her source inside got released this past Monday, and like a fool I helped her to get some, what she had should have been enough for about 2 months, well she called me on the phone tonight and wants more, like right now. I told her it's impossible because of what I did last week I don't even have enough for the house payment due tomorrow. She was like don't worry about it we'll get a double wide trailer just do this for me, if you don't then I'm cutting you loose. that's the lamest words I've ever heard from her. I don't understand any of this, I've never dealt with this before. I don't know what to do, part of me says to do what she needs, the other say to stand my gound and tell her no, and still another tells me to just pack up and go back where I came from. Anyone got any advice?

Wow- not a fun situation to be in at all.
What really bothers me here is that she said she would "cut you loose" if you didn't do this for her.
I don't know much about anti-depressants, but it sounds to me like she is hooked on them.
I don't think you should be putting yourself in the position to get her these meds cuz you can get into some serious trouble for that, and so can she.
I feel horrible that you are in this position, but until she realizes that she needs to take control of this problem herself, there is nothing you can do to help her.
My opinion? Don't do it for her.
Good luck and take care of you!!!

Wow this is a touchy situation. She really needs to get help. I too am a recovering addict and it's no fun. It's an uphill battle. But speaking from experience...DO NOT be an enabler. If this woman's love is true, she won't leave you. I too was incarcerated and I know it's not a fun thing. But I did it drug free. It would have been much easier to sleep through my time, but I didn't. I watched so many ladies eat hand full's of pills so they didn't have to face reality. But she will come out with an addiction if she doesn't quit now.

I am also a little concerned about you. Do you realize the trouble YOU could get into because of wanting to help her? When in actuality (sp?) your not helping her at all. Please think long and hard about what your doing. PM me if you need to talk.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

If she's willing to cut you loose for not getting medications for her, you're better off without her, quite honestly. You could face some prison time yourself for doing it and you surely don't need that.

Just tell her no and don't reconsider. I know you'll be crushed to see the future you planned going up in smoke, but you don't need this. If she's not any more serious about you than to let you go because you won't supply her with the drugs, then you'd be in for a world of hurt when she got out if you stay with her.

A couple things you said doesn't make sense to me--antidepressants are not physically addictive, nor cause any withdrawal that requires medical intervention. That being said, sometimes if one has been on one of the SSRI's [Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors]and stops taking them this can cause a rebound depression but typically not until the person has stopped taking them for 10 -14 days.

Prescriptions for antidepressants are easy enough to get legally[and less expensively via a public health clinic] so I don't understand the need to take them w/out prescription. One would not be violating parole for taking prescribed antidepressants as long as they can show proof that the medication has been prescribed.

Are you sure she is not taking some type of anti-anxiety drug like Xanax or Ativan? These meds can be physically addictive and would be more typical of the behavior demonstrated by your fiance.

I certainly agree with what others have said re: taking care of yourself. You don't want to do anything that may compromise or put your freedom at risk. There may be some usefullness to give your fiance some feedback re: her behavior and how it is impacting you. If she pushes you off, then you have more feedback about what is going on w/her and what position you want to take in terms of your relationship.

Know when to hold 'em & know when to fold 'em--hardest thing to figure out especially when matters of the heart are involved....

Taking unprescribed anti depressants can be dangerous and coming off of them cold turkey can cause her to flip out. She sounds to me that she is wrapped up in a love affair with pills right now more so then you if she tells you she will cut you loose. She could possibly be selling these pills as well to make money. I agree with the other women. Don't put yourself in an illegal position because you are scared of losing her. That isn't fair for you. I wish you luck in this situation.

you messed up. If and when you tell her no and she does say good bye, don't be surprised if she dimes you out to the cops. She set you up. This is a game that real criminals play. DENY EVERYTHING. NO POLY, NO WAIVER, NO STATEMENT. What you don't tell them can't be used against you. I've had my rights read to me three times, never charged or convicted, because as soon as they read me my rights, I shut my mouth. You have been used.

Alan, I am confused by your post.
What do you mean that he was set up? If he says that he won't do this for her, how could he get into trouble?
And, lets keep in mind that this is a woman that he is engaged to-
We don't know that she will "dime him out to the cops" or whatever that means!
Could you explain your post a little more please? Thanks! :)

Thanks to those of you who replied, I have been carefully considering what each has said and tried to apply it to my situation. I found out what she was taking was something called neuratin (not sure of spelling) a friend of mine told me his doctor gave him this for pain, he said extreme pain. He said when he stopped taking it, the doctor did it gradually. The person she was getting these from got released.

Next somehow she got xanax and recently valium. I know enough to tell I'm dealing with an addiction here. I'm also dealing with a girl who has had anyone who has ever been close to her turn their back on her. I think her threat to cut me loose was the addiction talking.

I can still see the sweet girl I know and love inside there, but it's like something just has a hold of her and she will flip just like a pancake. I'm not a professional, so I am not prepared to deal with this thing. But considering where she's at, not like I can drag her to get treatment. Myself I had a problem with alcahol and pot, i kicked those both cold turkey over 8 years ago. And I still get the craving even today.

But I've never seen this. i know reading a book won't really help. I've prayed for her until I'm blue in the face. I talked with her about getting into mental health there, she believes that would effect her parole, of course all the classes and good things she's done didn't effect parole decisions.

She is not only my fiancee, but also my best friend as well, I'm not going to leave her. i know that getting her clean may make her made as hell at me at times, I'm a big boy I can take that, I just don't want to see her this way any more.

Any more advice you may have, let it rip.

If it's Neurontin you are referring to...it's not addictive...it's RXed for neurological disorders such as Neuropathy from Diabetes. It can also be RXed for Bi-Polar and Seizures. Now the Xanax and Valium...is anti-anxiety medication, tranquilizer, and is undeniably addictive. Most people have withdrawels when trying to get off them, "specially if been taking them for awhile.
I'm speaking from experience here. My son is in prison because of his addiction, and the stuff he did while he was over-dosing on Xanax. Oh he loves the Opiates also, but it was the Xanax that made him think he was un-touchable and could get away with anything. He turns into another person when he takes Xanax. They need to out-law the med!!! Good luck with your fiance. No, you can't just stop loving her 'cause she has an addiction...and I know how hard it is to draw the line and determine whether you're helping or enabling. And I can tell you one thing for sure about the Xanax...it makes you forget stuff...everybody I know that's ever taken it says so.
I hope this helped some.
C Mom

Xanax was another of my boyfriends old habits....horrible drug to abuse. (especially when mixed with opiates- caused him to black out while he was driving. Thank God no one was hurt!)
I hope that your fiance can get some help, but she needs to realize that she has this problem. Does she admit it?
I feel for you cuz loving an addict is a very difficult thing- just stay strong and hope that she realizes that she needs help! (push her in that direction if you can)
Good luck!