View Full Version : How are you doing with everything?

07-27-2004, 12:18 PM
Hello my fellow long sentence ladies...Lets start a check in thread to help each other daily to deal with our men being gone so long..I will start

My day is going well. I got a letter from my fiance this weekend and we are still waiting on the decision from the PBoard. He had his interview in June. I miss him like crazy. As you may know we recently got engaged and now we are going to go ahead and wed while he is there because we realize that we may not have this opportunity in the future. We really dont care how long he may have to be in there...all we want is to be together forever. I take it one day at a time. Stay strong ladies..the storm wont last forever.

07-27-2004, 06:01 PM
I am so happy for u and your fiance, as for me, well me and my husband are doing fine we have straightened a lot of things out, we were recently going through a lot of changes but we worked things out, I am just going through a lot of drama on the home front, but I will take it one day at a time!!!!

07-27-2004, 07:00 PM
Hello BabieBoo & Anthony's Wife!

You guys are in my thoughts and prayers... I just wanted to say that My husband and I are continuing to make it one day at a time...It's been such a long haul for us and there's still no "light at the end of the tunnel" for us as yet. Dave was due for another parole hearing (our 8th now...set off three years back in April 2001 this time around), but the State of Alabama Pardons & Parole Board is so far behind schedule on hearing cases...18 months behind we're told. might as well say he was set-off 4 1/2 to 5 years! It is so very frustrating and depressing!!! God gives us His strength each day and we just try to make the most of what time we have it consist of Sunday visits from 8AM till 2:45PM. I continue to drive the four hour round trip to visit and be with him every Sunday as I have done now for the past 20 years. I guess you could say that we have just kinda settled into this "one day a week marriage" as comfortably as we can. I have had to learn what Paul meant when he wrote in the Bible ..."I have learned how to be abased and to abound...To be content in whatsoever state I am"... We are not "satisfied" in this state of existence,...but are learning to be content and to appreciate what we have rather than concentrate on what we lack. I miss him terribly all week long and it often feels like Sundays will never get here! It would help if we just had a "definite" date to work towards for him to be released ..but we don't and so I have to emotionally deal with this as tho he'll never get out. I'd appreciate your prayers for us as well and your continued support! I salute and applaud you ladies for your ability to love unconditionally and sacrificially! God has said..."NO GREATER LOVE HATH ANY MAN (WOMAN)...THAN THAT THEY LAY DOWN THEIR LIFE (SACRIFICE) FOR A FRIEND(HUSBAND/FIANCE)"!!! This is what God did for us...and what we are being asked to do for these men we love.
God Bless you and keep you daily in His perfect Love!


07-27-2004, 10:25 PM
Thank u Standingbymyman that was so beautifully said. my husband has been in for 8 years now. we have 17 more to go before he is eligible for parole. I look back on the time and am amazed that 8 years have gone by, I deal with it one day at a time. Especially now, I'm just going through such a hard time right now, I feel like i have the universe on my shoulders. I just dont know what I'm doing anymore, I definitely need to pray and keep the faith going strong right now. Anyway thanks for listening!

07-27-2004, 11:26 PM
I'll chime in here too ladies.... How are ya'all? Well, My Baby has is going into year 11. Recently, the Sup. Court overturned his conviction and we are awating all the final details and paperwork. We stay in touch and keep one another motivated and are just waiting to be together. It's day by day.. as you all know so well. It's been a long road, but a struggle well worth it! My thoughts out to all of you strong women.

07-28-2004, 02:12 AM
Thank you Standingbymyman that was so well said. We have been married for 11 years. Taking it one day at a time is the motto. We put our faith in God, in love and in each other. We look forward to the simple pleasures that we have in life right now like our letters, phone calls & trailer visits.

07-28-2004, 12:50 PM
Well hello! I got a letter from my fiance yesterday and he sent me another picture!!! He's so handsome! Gosh I love my man. I feel good today though...missing him like crazy as always. He told me that he doesnt have any money on his books and I dont get paid until Friday. How much $ do you send each month? I am going to rebudget and fit his needs into my own because i am going to start sending him $ regulary.
Anthony's Wife--That is really great that things are working out. Sometimes we have our disagreements too but we always work around them.

Standingbymyman--I like your name! I love the Apostle Paul!! Stay strong and keep those prayers going. I will pray for you as well.

Freedsoul--hey girl I havent seen you in awhile. Keep us posted with how things go.

Nuroswife--I can only wish we could have trailer visits. TDCJ stinks!!! You are so lucky!!!

07-28-2004, 12:52 PM
Well, well all of you are veterans to say the least and a great inspiration for a person like me. My Hubbie has been down for almost 2 years and has 10 more years to go. No trailer visits here! I am at a standstill spot with it now. I have my off days like any one else, but all in all, I keep waiting faithfully. Never losing hope that one day before those 10 years are up that he will be waiting for me to let him in the house when I get off from work or a late night call comes in and it will be him saying, "Boo-Boo! Come pick me up. This is my daily plight and it gets me through the day. I admire all the long timers. It's when I read a post from one of you other than praying, I renew my strength to hold on. When I started posting with PTO, I was here all the time in the Husbands and Boyfriends section. Now I read more than I post. I just get frustrated. Thanks for just letting me go on and on.

07-28-2004, 03:13 PM
Well like bunnyrun5 I'm sorta new at this as well. My man as only got a little over a year done on his sentence and we have about 12 more to go. I got a letter yesterday from him and it was real sad. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because he thought I would leave him if I found out he had hep-c. I stopped breathing when I read that. We are fine he's getting some counseling and we are taking it all one day at a time. I was sitting here trying to figure out how much longer he should be in confinement. He told me in his letter today that they told him he only has to do 75% of it. So he "should" be out of confinement and me able to see him again in about 89 days. That will help both of us.

I take alot of my strength from you ladies that have been doing this for longer than me. I just have to remind myself not to stress and take it all one day at a time and always be there for him. Thanks for all the support. :)

My prayers are with all of us.

Oh and "no trailer visits" here either!! :(

P.S. as far as the hep c... he's fine and not sick and they are really confident that he can live a very long life. He got really sick about 17 years ago when they didn't even have a name for it. He fought it off but it will always show up in a test. He just has to take very good care of himself so as not to get it again.

Roger's Girl
07-28-2004, 04:37 PM
Hey Girls,

This week has been great. I finally got the block taken off the phone, it had been 2 1/2 months since I had talked to him. In addition I had gotten a couple letters and a card. Things are going slow. Really slow.

He just found out his request for transfer to min sec was denied... "continuing observation" I asked him what kind of trouble he was causing and he said none. In two years there he's only had one ticket. So maybe in another six months he can try again.

Hope everyone is doing well.

07-28-2004, 05:52 PM
Hello Everyone,

It's been a while since I posted over here, as I've been on the WA state forum a whole lot lately. My honey was transferred to Colorado 3 weeks ago along with 197 others due to overcrowding and they had a huge 5-hr. riot over there last week. My honey called me in the middle of it - he was just blown away at what was going on around him. Anyway, it's been a difficult 3 weeks - I've been all over the place emotioally, what with him being taken away in the middle of the night and then top that off with the riot. I'm just getting my feet a little bit back under me. He was able to call for 3 minutes last night for the first time since the riot, so that helped immensely. 11 more years to go and counting.....

Babieboo - a check in is a great idea - thanks for thinking of it!


07-29-2004, 01:43 AM
Things are going great for us. We have been communicating a lot more through our letters. We have been writing almost daily to one another. I love it. We are expressing so many things it is like we have reached a new depth to our marriage. I found this website that is loaded with all kinds of stuff for couples, like little tests, questionnaires, surveys. We have been using them and sending our answers back to the other. This has really helped us strengthen our bond. Check it out

Have a great day everyone!

07-29-2004, 01:47 AM
Babieboo I try to send $50-$100 a month to him depending on what I have going on financially.

07-29-2004, 06:51 PM
Hi Friends!

I've had a couple of hectic days and so I haven't been able to get online and "Check In" with everyone. It's good to hear that you are all coping well ...

BabieBoo: Like Nuro's Wife, I also try to send my man $50.00 to $100.00 each month to put on the "books". He is at an Honor Ranch now and so I can take him groceries, clothing and toiletries when I visit each Sunday as well. It took us 11 years to get him to a place like this, so I am thankful to God that I can do this at long last! PTL!!!

Nuro's Wife: So happy to hear that you and your honey are developing your communication with one another! That's wonderful!!! My husband and I have done this these past 20 yrs also...Communication is the one "freedom" the prison system still allows us and we need to make the most of it...It's one of the most important cornerstones of a strong and healthy marriage or relationship I think. My hubby and I would share books about love and marriage as well as Christian materials back and forth like you and your husband are doing...It was a major "relationship builder" for us as well. I would read it and highlight things in the book that caught my attention and then he would read the same book and highlight with a different color marker and then we'd discuss our thoughts about it together on visitation day or in letters. Today, people around us are amazed at how close we are and how we "KNOW" one another so well that we can often complete each other's sentences..LOL! This is a result of our developing those communication skills all these years. After all, wasn't like we were going to be able to go out to dinner and a movie or anything! LOL

LISE: As I read your message, my heart went out to you! I'm just glad that you've finally got to get a call from your honey! I know all too well how that feels. A couple years ago, while I was visiting my husband at the facility where he's currently at, ...all of a sudden someone came banging on the door (we have trailer visits...actually it's a ranch and so they're refered to as "Wolf Shacks"..LOL)..and we were told the guards well evacuating the facility...all visitors must leave emmediately. I was scared as my husband and I grabbed our things and headed down the hill to see what was going on...We had heard that the Warden was dead, and as we were shocked to say the least. We could see the Warden's two story house on the next hill ablaze...burning sky high! I'll never forget that frightful day as long as I live!!! By the time we reached the Ranch's main entrance, the guards were holooering and commanding me to get into my car and leave and my husband to go inside for lockdown. There were swat teams pouring in and helicopters & police cars everywhere! They had already blocked off the entrance drive with their vehicles and had to move them to allow me out. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with all this..scared, puzzled as to what was happening, concerned about my husband and the other inmates there, and sad to have to leave and miss my weekly visit. I found out later that evening from a friend who had some connections with the Ranch...that indeed the Warden and his wife had been killed...along with two other inmates who were trying to rescue them. I had thought up till that point, that it was a house fire and that they were caught inside the house. I was to learn that it was believed that an inmate had raped the Warden's wife, and then murdered the Warden when he came home from his morning walk and caught him with his wife...the guy then shot two inmates that had come to the Warden's rescue in the drive to the house, pulled their bodies inside the house and then torched the place and then used a prison vehicle to leave the camp...and later returned and was hiding amongst the other inmates. You can imagine how all us wives and family members of the inmates there were scared and concerned for our loved ones! We had never faced anything like this and really didn't know what to expect! I was so relieved when they finally managed to apprehend the guy who did this (as all our men were "suspect" until they did!) and had him in custody. Funny thing...the guy who did these awful murders was in for a "non-violent" crime...The two inmates who lost their lives attempting to help the warden and his wife, they were labeled with "violent"
crimes. My husband would have been along with those other two men had I not been visiting him that day...He had seen the warden missing from his ussual morning "spot" and had asked those two guys to go up and check on the Warden...Said he'd go himself, but his wife was there for visitation. It scares me even today to think what might have happened had I not gone to visit him that day! Anyway, I'm sorry to get so lengthy with this story...It's hard to tell it in a few words...LOL But, I just meant to say that whenever there's a riot in the prison where our fellows are, or a situation such as we faced, it can really strike fear in your heart and panic in your life! God sustained us thru this experience as He has so many similar experiences before. Let us all remember to pray for the safety of our loved ones and families and that God will surround us with EXTRA GRACE for times such as these.

SpikesWife: My prayers are with you and your honey also! Hep-C is a very big problem in many prison camps from what we hear. At my husband's facility they do give the inmates shots regularly for that...I am so proud of you for keeping it together as you have thru that! Your honey is a very blessed man to have you by his side!

RogersGirl: Hey, sweetie, don't give up on trying again for Min Security! My honey had to try again and again to get to the Honor camp where he is today...They even told him to "not try again" at one point...We listened to God instead of Man ...and well, he tried again anyway and was shipped to the Ranch
where we visit today after eleven years...he's been at this place 10 years now and after having experienced the other facilities he'd been at before...This one is a dream! Hang in there! You're also in my prayers..along with all you wonderful ladies that I meet here! Keep us in yours as well, please!!!

BunnyRun & Anthony's Girl: I'm glad that you are finding strength and encouragement from the rest of us ladies here...We are all in this thing together!!! A weight is never quiet as hard to lift...whenever 2, or 3..or 4..or more get up underneath it and lift it together. That's what we can do for one another "bear one another's burdens" just like the Good Book instructs us to do. Keep the Faith ladies!!!

Well, I guess I'm making up for being away those few days...LOL Thanks for bearing with me here...God Bless and keep each one of you..and give you His strength and His might to endure...and "having endured, to reap the reward" to come!
Hebrews 13:3
Hebrews 10:35-36
II Peter 5:10


07-29-2004, 07:04 PM
Thanks Mary. I hope that I can speak for all of us--your words are so encouraging and uplifting. I will have to borrow some of your ideas.

Thanks for being a bright spot in my day today.

07-29-2004, 09:16 PM
Thanks, Mary, for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. What a terrible ordeal to go through with your story of the murders. I can't even imagine what that would be like. I was scared enough for my guy and the others who were not involved during the riot. I could barely hear him over all the screaming and noise of things being smashed and broken around him as he was trying to let me know what was going on and giving me phone numbers of inmates so I could call their loved ones and let them know what was happening in Colorado. The guards had left the prison and the inmates were literally tearing apart everything they could get their hands on, including breaking into releasing all the other inmates and destroying the guards control center as well as the sargeant's and all the counselors offices. 14 inmates were injured, one of them stabbed multiple times. It was so frightening to know he was standing in the middle of all that and I'm so relieved that it's over.

Anyway, I've received two incredibly loving and deeply connected letters from him in the last two days. He's doing well and is actually somewhat enjoying the peace and quiet he's experiencing with being locked down in a 2-man cell by himself. This is the first peace he's really experienced since he was moved 3 weeks ago and I can hear it in his sharing. It's a balm to my heart and spirit to hear my man sound so much more like himself, so I'm doing a whole lot better.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings - it's good to just talk it out and let it go.


07-30-2004, 11:00 AM
Thank YOU Nuro's Wife!
You likewise are an encouragement to me!!! I don't feel so alone in my plight with my husband as I did before discovering this PTO site. I have come to feel a real sense of comraderie with all of you ladies who are in the same or similar circumstances. I do hope to be able to encourage others here to hang in there with their men in prison. Somehow, that gives me some added "purpose" for all these twenty long years of waiting for my man...If I can turn around and pass on the wisdom I've gained, give strength and encouragement out of the abundance that I have had to find for myself to other women who need it to make it through their own ordeal. I believe that we can all make it if we just will not give up or accept defeat! Your husband is mightily blessed to have you standing by him...and I'm sure that he knows this too!!! Feel free to PM me anytime if I can assist you in any way or if you just need to "vent". :-)


07-30-2004, 11:44 AM
Hi Ladies!!!

Good to see everyone is here hanging in there! Way to go!! We are all doing a great job by staying focused.

I am doing well today. I am missing my fiance as always. My fiance is indigent so I might not be able to send him $ because I think he wants to stay indigent for some reason. Everytime I offer to send him something he says NO! I am in a tough spot because I want him to be able to buy commissary.....He needs to tell me what to do because I dont know what to do. Other than that my day is coming along just fine. I am wearing a "fake" engagement ring and its sooo pretty. LOL I know I am silly but I want others to know that I am taken.

I am going to post again because I am here sneaking at work! YIKES!!!

07-30-2004, 02:59 PM
Everyone please have a good weekend and drive safely. Have a wonderful visit for those who are visiting. I love you all!!!*muah*

07-30-2004, 03:57 PM
Good Evening Ladies! Since I discovered this place a few weeks ago my total attitude, outlook and perspective has completely changed. I no longer feel alone. I have a place just for me...just for us; where we are free from judgment, ridicule and criticism.

I love it here! Wishing everyone a happy and safe weekend!

07-30-2004, 07:34 PM
Lise: I understand what you mean about how good it feels to just be able to "vent" here at PTO... To share with one another the various experiences we're having and to have others here be a "sounding board" for us. It has helped me emmensely as well! It great to hear that things have calmed down now after the riot where your man is...and I understand why he feels calmer and more at peace in that 2-man cell alone. My husband says that one of the hardest things to do inside prison is to obtain any kind of "quite time"...the noise pollution is unreal in there! A man cannot even get alone with his thoughts or even to pray when he is crowded in dorms with hundreds of other inmates...many who are yelling and with TV's & radios on. My husband used to have to keep a small transitor radio with earphones on his ears tuned to a Christian station just to shut out the other noise and quite his mind...even to sleep! Keep your head up sweetie and keep pressing on...Keep the Faith!

BabieBoo: I don't think your wanting to place ring on your finger to say you're "taken" is a silly thing at all! And I'm quite sure your fiance is very touched that you would want to do this! It says to him that you are already "committed" to your heart..where it really matters. Your all our men, needs all the re-assurance he can get as the very environment of prison works constantly to undermine a man's sense of any kind of security or self-assurance. My husband tells me that the other inmates (especially those without any visitors or loved ones to care about them) in jealousy have a saying.."Joey's Got Your Girl"... Their way of saying to another inmate that there's no way your woman will stay committed to you when there are men on the outside who can and will meet her needs whereas you cannot. Because our men hear this kind of thing all the time, it's necessary for us to re-assure them of our love and commitment as often as we can. I think you wearing that ring said to your fiance even more than your words ever could! Also, my husband often would not allow me to send him money because he didn't want to ever become more of a "burden" or to stress me financially. I had to realize too that God designed men to be the "providers" and a man feels a great sense of worth & self-esteem from being able to do so for his loved ones. Our men cannot do this and so it kinda "eats" at them at know? The very least he can do my husband says is to NOT add to my financial load himself. He sees many inmates that take no thought of being a financial drain on their wives and families and he feels it's very selfish and thoughtless of them. He has even regulated his calls home to me to stay with a boundary that we agree I can afford. Talk with your fiance when you visit him next and let him know you understand this, but at the same time you'd like to do something as it helps you to know he has the things he needs in there, and then talk honestly with him as to what you can afford and would like to do. I hope you guys have a fabulous visit this weekend! God be with you both!!!

Nuro's Wife: Honey, you have a wonderful visit with your man this weekend!
I'm so happy to hear that PTO has helped to give you a whole new outlook, attitude and perspective on things! Wow!!...Isn't it wonderful that we can get online and hold each other's hands up in this battle...even across the miles? PTL! It has helped me tremendously as a refuge for the soul! In the Bible, God said "I would have MERCY...not JUDGEMENT".... That's what I find here at PTO and so I know that this pleases the heart of God as well. God Bless and keep you and your sweetheart in His providential care!

One more day....and then I can be in my husband's arms again! Oh how I need that so!!! ...This has been a very hard week for me. But, I keep looking up and keeping the Faith! And on those days when I just don't know what I'm going to do...Well, I just get up and put one foot in front of the other...and just do the NEXT thing...whatever that might be. One day at a time...and often one minute at a time! LOL God Bless all you ladies here and goodnite.


07-30-2004, 08:24 PM
I'm new husband of only 2 months was sentenced to 15 years, only 12 days after we married. We're in Texas, and he's got to serve 7 1/2 years before parole eligible. He was just transferred yesterday to Huntsville from county, and I get to go visit tomorrow already! I'm excited, although it's a 'glass visit', at least I get to see with my own eyes that he is ok. I miss our nightly phone calls. We talked 2-3 times a night while he was in county.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi.

07-31-2004, 02:38 AM
Have a great visit Brandonsgirl!

I wish I could visit my husband more often. Being several states away from each other has helped me and my career; but I guess it is also the price I pay for being 900 miles away from him.

07-31-2004, 08:41 AM
Mary thank you for your very knd words. I know it takes a strong woman to go through what we are and have. And I find new strength every day from my man and all of you ladies!!

Those that get visits this weekend have a safe trip and a very nice visit. :)

My man is due for surgery on his knee soon. So I'm just waiting to hear from him. But other than that all is well!! :)

Be even better once my vacation gets here!! :)

Love and (((HUGS))) to all.

Ha! Ha! I just read back over that ya'll must think my man is a mess!! Suicide, the hep-c, surgery for his knee!! Yeah he was a little rowdy before he came to me but were getting every thing fixed so he's just fine when he gets home to me. :)

07-31-2004, 07:39 PM
Hey ladies I havent checked in a few days because I just have so much on my mind, thigs just seem to be falling apart out here for me. I've been trying to take Nuro'swifes advice and it has helped but I guess nothing happens overnight, I am just trying to be patient but I havent gotten a phone call from my husband in 5 days, and his letters are definitely slacking, I just feel so alone. Anyway thanks for listening

07-31-2004, 09:11 PM
We are here for you. You are never alone here. During my loneliest times I turned to God and pray for his strength, endurance and guidance. He orders my steps every time! Everything in life happens for a reason. I try to find meaning in all that occurs and then use that experience to progress further on my journey.

What does not kill us makes us stronger. Take one day a time. You are on the right track!:thumbsup:

08-01-2004, 09:02 AM
Nuro's Wife I trully believe in everything you just said. I honestly believe I'm stronger for all that my man have been through so far. We still have aways to go but I don't feel as alone and helpless as i did when he first left.

Well, I got a letter that he wrote on thursday and he was already in the hospital at the prison. And was scheduled for surgery on Friday morning. I pray all went well. I won't get another letter till tuesday.

I hope everyone had a good visit and is doing well. Hopefully I will get to visit again soon. :)

08-02-2004, 01:48 PM
Spikeswife--Is your Husband's surgery scheduled sometime soon? I pray that it goes very well and that he has a speedy recovery. Oh yes I agree that a vacation sounds good! I will be going on mine at the end of the year to see my parents and to get married!! yay!

Brandonsgirl---Welcome to the forum. I love it here so much! My fiance is in TX also

Anthonyswife---Aww hunny I am sorry its been 5 days. I went thru a ruff period with my fiance and didnt hear from him for a whole month!! I let him have it though with a really mean letter letting him know he needs to communicate with me. I havent had a problem out of him since then. But yes definitely be patient otherwise it will drive you crazy. I flipped out big time and was crying like a baby. I hope you hear from him really soon. Do you need a maildance?

Lise---My man is on lockdown also in a 2 man cell. He's already in high security so how much more on "lockdown" can he possibly be? But I am so happy you got some letters. It feels so good to get one especially after a long day at work. That is great he is enjoying the quiet and peacefulness. It is soo noisy in there!

Standingbymyman---You are sooo sweet! I am wearing my ring again and I am so proud. I love it and it makes me feel good too. Keep the faith and remain unshakeable. God has you both in His care.

Nuroswife---I am in a seperate state also. That is partly why I havent seen my man in soooo long. That is about to change though. Its tough but we get thru it. I think the distance makes it so much more precious and keeps us from taking each other for granted. When I get those visits, its going to be a whole new era!! I agree though I love this forum because we all share the same longing and helps to have others who are in the same situation.

Well today is Monday and I got another letter from my baby Saturday. He is soo sweet. My girlfriend called me today to give me a testimony about a friend of hers whose man was in prison and how they are doing sooo well right now. That really lifted me up because I havent seen that many success stories on here. I pray that all of you had a good weekend and that you will also have a blessed day also.

08-02-2004, 02:37 PM
Hey People :)

I do not have a long time to wait, but i enjoy reading what you all are sharing. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in (I know... you don't :)).

Moreover, i have never seen babieboo type this much in a post EVER. :) It's kinda nice.

There is a thread whereas i post daily, but this one is a lil different. For one, the spirit of the Lord is "definitely" in this thread. And two, you all share a few common bonds. I love it. I pray everybody's strength and I hope to post a Success Story for you all real soon.

08-02-2004, 04:42 PM
Today has been a good day. I worked out this morning. Went to post office to get my mail and I had a card and a letter from my baby:) . I miss him so much and I won't be able to see him until November:( . I cannot wait to leave Atlanta behind next year and move back up north. This distance is really starting to get to me.

It is crazy to be so happy and sad all at the same time. How many emotions in a day can a woman go through?!?!?!

08-02-2004, 05:42 PM
That is the same question I ask myself all the time Nuro'swife, lol. I just wanted to check in ladies, I had the day off from work today and I rested the whole day, I will have to work 12 days straight starting tomorrow, so I will need all the rest I can get, I am in desperate search of a better job, a 9-5, 8-4, 7-3, or 10-6 m-f gig, I hate having to work on the weekends, anyway, I still haven't spoken to my husband, its been a week, maybe he'll call later on tonight, who knows. I did however get a letter form him today. I think I know why he hasn't called and its because of the letter he has written me, I wanted him to write me so bad and now that he has, I wish he didn't, I guess u should be careful of what u wish for because u just might get it.

My husband and I have been going through some extremely tough times. He kept on bringing up my past saying that he knows that there are things that I haven't told him, and he was right I felt that these were things that happened before us and he didnt need to know, but I told him anyway. Meanwhile he had a few secrets of his own that I am just now finding out about and I am so hurt. There was a time when we had lost contact, He had just been sentenced to 25 to life, we were together for almost a year and a half at this point, I was moving back home, and he was headed up north, I hadnt heard from him in 2 weeks, and that was strange because he used to call me everyday, no letter or anything. Nonetheless, weeks turned in to months and but the time I knew it had been 6 months until the day I got a phone call from his cousin on my moms phone, (I had my on line and my number hadn't changed during the move) His cousin was telling me that My husband said he loved me and he missed me and he wanted me to write him as soon as got the chance, that was the best day of my life, I was crying just before I had gotten the phone call and I couldnt believe it. I got his info and began writing my letter 25 pages front and back, I had so many questions, so much to say. I did begin dating someone else during this time and let me tell u that was the worst relationship I had ever been in, I quickly left him alone, I wont even get into the details of that, anyway back to the letter, he told me something that he never told me before and It hurt me so bad. I dont even know how to begin to address him in a letter and he didnt finish the letter, he said he would finish the letter later or when we spoke on the phone and he hasnt called me since, I dont think he can face me right now, he knows I am hurt, but i dont know what I should do? I am so confused, But I guess it can't get any worse right?:( :( :( :(

08-02-2004, 06:07 PM
I have found that the best way to deal with pain/hurt is to do it openly and honestly. We all have some secrets that we'd rather not share or maybe they just have not come up and out yet; but whatever the reason dealing with them head on is the best way.

Communication is the most important thing in a marriage to me. No, it can't all be good--even though we wish it could. Perhaps you should take a day or two and reevaluate the letter and then respond.

I am praying for your strength and guidance through this. Stay strong. Please remember that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle. Be Blesed.

08-02-2004, 08:53 PM
Hi Everyone,

For some reason, I'm not getting posts on my email, and thought everyone was getting kinda quiet, so I decided to check over here, and boy, there are a ton of messages! I'm so glad you're still all here!

Mary - thank you for your constant words of encouragement and support - it's always to good to know that I'm understood! My man is also wearing his headset and listening to music when the noise gets to be too much. He's a Master chess player, so when all his things arrived from Clallam Bay here in WA., he was thrilled, as he can play chess by himself for hours, practicing all the different types of moves and strategies, so that will keep him happy for quite a while. I'm feeling so much better now, as we've been able to talk briefly every 3 days and today I had 7 messages waiting on my answering machine when I got home - just his way of letting me know he loves me without it costing us anything. They spanned about 1/2 hour, so he must be allowed out of his house for more than 15 mins. this week. That does my heart good!

Babieboo - Thanks for staying in touch! I agree - how much more can they lock down a person when they're already basically there? Well, we all know this system is definitely in need of help! My guy says he either has his head phones on or he sleeps during the day to get away from all the noise and does his writing, playing chess, reading, watching TV all through the night when it's quiet. I don't think I would be able to flip my schedule around like that - it always amazes me that these guys can adjust to such radical changes in their lives.

Nuro's wife - Nope, it isn't crazy to be dealing with multiple feeling in this situation. I was just talking about this with a friend, as prior to the riot, I was so sad that my man had been taken out of state and yet was so happy that he was in a much better place and sounded so much happier. I just kinda let myself roll with it and even with all the trouble at that facility, I'm beginning to get back on an even keel. You will too, I promise - this too, shall pass. I'm so glad you heard from your honey - that always makes my day totally!!

Anthony's wife - Oh, I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time right now. But at least you're doing the right thing for yourself and turning to us for support. When my man got transferred, I didn't hear from him for almost 2 weeks and I was miserable. If it hadn't been for PTO, I would have been a whole lot worse. But eventually, I did here from him - they wouldn't allow any contact until then - and I improved a whole lot. We're here for you - these times are difficult for all of us, so let us support you through this. PM me anytime you need to. I'm sending you big (((((((HUGS))))))))

Take care everyone!


08-02-2004, 09:33 PM
Thank u so much Nuro's wife, U have been so suppoortive and understanding to everything that I have been going through and your friends family and husband are privildged to have u in their life, its rare that U meet someone who is so genuine, thanks again, and I ahve been reevaluating the letter and I dont feel as bad about it anymore it was more of a shock but I understand why he did what he did and I will tell him how I feel!

Lise thank u for the many(((((((((((hugs))))))))))) that u sent my way, Girl I could definitely use them, when it rains it pours but I see that the rain is clensing my spirit and allowing me to see things much more clearly. I know I will hear from him soon and when I do I will be all smiles and I will let him know how I feel without biting his head off!lol

Much thanks to all u ladies in PTO land! I dont know how I have gotten through the past 8 years without this site! God bless u all!

08-03-2004, 08:54 AM
Good Morning All. I was feeling kind of down today because I went to the post office and didn't have any mail. Even though reason tells me that I can not expect to have mail everyday but it still gets me a little down. Then I had a little "pick me up", I was cleaning through some old files and found an old card that he sent me about a year ago and it really made my day. I am so glad that I have you all and PTO to share such simple pleasures with!

08-03-2004, 12:09 PM
Hey People :)

I do not have a long time to wait, but i enjoy reading what you all are sharing. I hope you all don't mind me jumping in (I know... you don't :)).

Moreover, i have never seen babieboo type this much in a post EVER. :) It's kinda nice.

There is a thread whereas i post daily, but this one is a lil different. For one, the spirit of the Lord is "definitely" in this thread. And two, you all share a few common bonds. I love it. I pray everybody's strength and I hope to post a Success Story for you all real soon.

Hoy Mami?! Como es usted?

Its good to see you in here and welcome!!!

08-03-2004, 12:28 PM
Hello Everyone! I am having a blessed day! THe weather is soo beautiful and the air is sweet.

I wrote back my hunnybear today and put it in the mail. I sometimes wish we were in the same state. Two of my friends are fighting over who is going to stand in for him and I dont know who to pick. One friend is already there in TX but the one out here said she will fly out there to do it. I dont know who to pick because they are both very dear to me. I can just imagine the stress of a real big wedding!

Well everyone have a blessed day and know that everyday we get stronger and stronger. Jesus loves us all and he will never forsake us.

08-03-2004, 02:21 PM
I'm doing good as well boo. :)

I just thought about that comedy show MARTIN where Tommy and Cole was competing to be Martin's best man. It was hilarious. In the end somebody had to get thier feelings hurt. :( awww I don't envy your decision honey, but please know how blessed you are. My peeps would not stand in/up for me because they don't approve. UGH!!! But i am having a blessed day anyway. My baby will be home soon and we are going to live happiluy ever after. :D Hopefully that will show them. :blah:

08-03-2004, 06:24 PM
Babieboo - I love hearing all about your wedding decisions! I can hear the excitement in your writing! What a lovely position to be in - 2 people wanting to stand up for you - that's a blessing, for sure.

I'm also engaged to my honey and we were planning on getting married this year until they transferred him off to Colorado. When I checked on marriages there, I found out they don't allow them in the facilities. All they do is send me a piece of paper with his signature on it showing he's willing to marry me. I take that to some state office there, sign the piece of paper and it's a done deal. I was pretty disappointed and then decided, no, this is going to be special, no matter what. We'll still get married over there, probably next spring or summer. Two of my friends have also offered to fly over with me at that time. So, I'm planning on doing the legal stuff, then all of us going to the facility and we'll share our own little ceremony between all of us at the table in the visiting room. The paper work is just what the state says we have to complete - what we share between us in front of our friends and God that day will be the real thing. I have to admit, it seems a bit strange to know that I'll be spending my wedding night with my girlfriends!! (But thank goodness they'll be there!) Listening to you makes me feel excited for this special day to come! Thanks for sharing the details with us - I hope you'll continue to do so!



08-03-2004, 06:53 PM
Babieboo congrats on your up coming wedding. I was to be married this past April. But then all heck broke lose and he went to confinement for the it looks like the rest of the year. So we are now planning on April 1st (our anniversary) 2006. But I'm already loking at dresses. I think I would like a nice pale pink kinda floral dress maybe. Well at least a pale pink dress any way. My mom's not exactly real big on it but says it's my life and it is. But she did say she would come and help me make a small little bouquet (don't even know if they will let me bring it in) to hold. Anyway I get excited about it and now it's farther away. But we talked about it and with all that's going on it just makes sense for us.

Other than that not much going on exept my panic attack today at work I wrote about already!! :) Just glad to find out the surgery went well. I didn't get any mail today though. :( Maybe tomorrow. And I am off tomorrow :D and going to relax!! It's suppose to keep raining through then anyway.

Well glad to see everyone doing well and I'm praying for those who are feeling down or not doing well right now. Lot's of (((((HUGS))))) for all!!!

08-04-2004, 09:04 AM
Last night I talked to my husband and he told me that his ex-girlfriend wrote him to let him know that she has been thinking about him because its close to his time to come home and she wants them to reunite.

You should have heard me on the phone, I was the strong dutiful wife saying things like--she can't have my man; but then the moment I hung up I burst into tears:cry: . My heart has been racing and skipping beats every since.

Of course he said all of the stuff he is supposed to say like he loves and wouldn't ever leave me; but I am feeling so insecure about this. I guess the main reason why I feel so insecure is because she knew him on the outside before all of this happened. She was with him for 2 years before he went in. She was with him through the events that landed him there and through all of the legal stuff that followed. We met after he was already inside.

I just don't know how I am supposed to feel...:confused:

08-04-2004, 09:22 AM
Last night I talked to my husband and he told me that his ex-girlfriend wrote him to let him know that she has been thinking about him because its close to his time to come home and she wants them to reunite.

You should have heard me on the phone, I was the strong dutiful wife saying things like--she can't have my man; but then the moment I hung up I burst into tears:cry: . My heart has been racing and skipping beats every since.

Of course he said all of the stuff he is supposed to say like he loves and wouldn't ever leave me; but I am feeling so insecure about this. I guess the main reason why I feel so insecure is because she knew him on the outside before all of this happened. She was with him for 2 years before he went in. She was with him through the events that landed him there and through all of the legal stuff that followed. We met after he was already inside.

I just don't know how I am supposed to feel...:confused:

Aww heck no!!! She better get to stepping!! I am getting mad sitting here reading this post! She has no right to think she can just step in a "reunite" after all these years!!! She done lost her mind. Why does this happen when they come home? All the people who claim they cared about them start popping up out of the wood works wanting to be friends and stuff liket that. What about the 11 years they have been gone....why werent they around then? This makes me soooo sick. I already know I will be facing something like this because we went to the same middle school and pretty much had the same friends. I am the only one who kept in touch with him all these years. Everyone else moved on and forgot about him. Girl I am getting mad because I understand how you feel. On the other hand dont even worry about this little "hooch". She has nothing on you! It takes a real woman to stand by someone in storm and when the rain is pouring down. Dont fret. She has nothing on you!

08-04-2004, 01:03 PM
Babieboo--Thanks you so much. Girl, I needed to hear that!!!

I am mad at her and the situation and at the same time I am worried that he may be a little "curious". My husband has been inside 22 years; but I have been the only one there for him for the past 11 years. You are so right, here she comes and she thinks that she can just step right back in and take over--Not here sister!!!

08-04-2004, 01:07 PM
He seems to be an honest man because he told you about it. A lot of men never do that so you got a good man. Talk to him about it and voice how you feel. I am sure he will not trade you in for her. You are the one who supported him and was there for him and not her. YOU are HIS WIFE. That means a lot and he knows who has his back when it comes time to.

Excuse me for getting ghetto fabulous in here. Even though I am Christian..I still got that "take no mess" in me too..especially when it comes to the one I love.

08-04-2004, 01:14 PM
Ghetto-fabulous: Yeah me too girl!!! I am a Christian woman too, but if I have to get "alley" over my husband I will!!!

Thanks Babbieboo--You da bomb!

08-04-2004, 01:16 PM
I know you are right. He is a good man. He didn't have to tell me about it. He said that he doesn't even plan on responding; but I think that I want him to. She needs to know where he stands and to BACK OFF!!!

08-04-2004, 01:20 PM
No problem! I got your back on this for sure! :thumbsup:
How about you both write her a letter? Maybe both of you can respond so she can see that he has wife who is very active in his life. That should let her know what's up.

08-04-2004, 01:32 PM
Now I like that idea (both of us responding)--I can't wait to talk to him tomorrow! I have to let him know how I feel about all of this. I know in my heart that everything will work out.

08-04-2004, 02:50 PM
I am getting ready to leave work and now I am going to Bible study. Everyone have a blessed evening. Stay strong and I will see you guys tomorrow. I'm praying that there will be some mail waiting for me when I get home tonight!

08-04-2004, 07:17 PM
I just wanted to say a quick thank you to Babieboo and Anthony'sWife. You two were my lifesavers for the day. Thanks!

08-04-2004, 07:25 PM
Ladies I feel u on this one, I know lil miss Hooch doont have nothing on u, U dont even have to worry, U are his wife, she may think that she can just pick up where she left off but she got another thing coming, A real woman has already stepped up and picked up the pieces that her mess left behind and threw them away and started a new journey and that is u, U are HIS WIFE, not her, she has a lot of nerve!!!!! And I know your husband sees right through her and has his eyes set on u!!!!!!!

08-04-2004, 09:52 PM
i wish u all the best of luck!! my husband and i are just fightin' to give this tyme back because this is crzy, feel me! weallwegot so no matter what happens we will get through it together. i will be visitin' my husband either friday or saturday. we get trailer visits also and are due to go on one sept. 25th.. thanks for sharin'.


08-06-2004, 08:07 AM
Well I got a letter from my man yesterday actually it was 3 and in one of them he told me he got an answer from the asst. warden and if he's still there he could be getting out of confinement in oct!! So I hope he stays there for awhile!! :thumbsup:

Nuro's wife---- I pray all works out with you in this situation. I have some run ins with some of my mans friends and he's made if very clear that we are a couple and that they are just friends. One just got out of prison herself and while she was in wrote him a psycho letter about how could he leave her for me!?!? He was writing her and giving her support as a friend since she had a young daughter. She and her mom started taking it all the wrong way, and she thought they were dating!! He had cut back on the amount of letter's to eventually none at all. He made it quit clear to her that we were husband and wife and would be making it official real soon. She's out now and living here in the same town. I've not heard from her yet and my man is in confinement so we will see if she trys to come and see him once he's out. I would hate to have to put her in her place in front of everyone. Hang in there we are all here for you and she would hate it if we all showed up and helped make your point!! She don't want that!! Stay strong girl!!

08-06-2004, 08:25 AM
Thanks ladies for all of the support. I talked to my husband last night and he did a great job of reassuring me that it is all about me--all about us:D :D :D . He told me that I have no worries about some ghost from his past. He said that she left him the minute he was sentenced--so that told him all he needed to know about her and their relationship--it obviously wasn't all that it appeared to be.

He reminded me of so many things that reassured me that I am the one for him and I have to say that I just fell in love with him all over again:) .
The most vivid memory was of how we met. He always says that from the first moment he ever saw me he knew that he had to have me. I was actually at his facility visiting my cousin and Nuro was working in the visiting room taking pictures. My cousin had asked me to hook him up with a girl. I took a piece of paper from his hand that had his name and number written on it. He says from the moment I touched his hand--he knew I was the one...and that was 11 years ago and we are still going strong.

God knows I love that man!!! :D :D :D

Thanks again!!!

08-06-2004, 08:34 AM
Awww that is so wonderful!! I love it when they do that and remind us how much they love us and for what reasons and why. I am so happy for you!!!

Today I am doing well. My job is trying to stress me out and I am just about thru with them. They dont appreciate me at all and think I am some kind of slave. Other than that everything is well. I should get a letter from my honey this weekend and I cannot wait to hear from him. I am praying he has heard back from the chaplain by now so we can go ahead and do this. I am so ready. I really appreciate you guys being here for me and encouraging me. You all are inspirational women!!

08-09-2004, 06:07 AM
Good Morning Ladies! Wishing everyone a great and prosperous day. The weekend was great. I talked to my Nuro for 90 minutes (3 clicks in NY):) .

I woke up today though in a terrible funk. I am missing him badly. The distance is starting to get to me. I have been in another state for the last 5 years and I guess I have done well to manage with this thus far; but it is really starting to weigh heavily on me. I am looking to relocate closer to NY next summer--so in the meantime I'll just have to get by.

I think too that now that I am out of school for the summer, I have too much idle time on my hands and my mind is starting to play crazy tricks on me. I have to dive into something quickly in order to keep my sanity.

Thanks for listening!

Roger's Girl
08-09-2004, 09:23 AM
Ladies ~ Things aren't good. He is in Illinois and just last week they passed a lot of new laws that will effect him. I really mean effect him possibly for the rest of his life - oh who am I kidding..It is going to effect him for the rest of his life.

I have been asking myself over and over..How much do I give up to be with him? It has nothing to do with " If I love him or not" that is not in question.. It's how much will privacy and control over my life am I willing to live with ~ That's why it has hit me like a ton of bricks.

I just dont know. I really dont know. I am not sure I can live with all those new laws I am still just trying to digest it all.

08-09-2004, 01:49 PM
Roger'sGirl--I know that I re-evaluate my life often...not my love for my husband. I have been living this life with him for 11 years and yes I am getting tired. I love him more than anything; but that doesn't make any of this stuff any easier to deal with. Your life becomes an open book to the DOC as long as they are confined--its just a fact of life. Do some real soul searching before you make any decisions.

08-09-2004, 01:52 PM
Hello its Monday and a fresh new week! I sure would love to get some mail today and I cannot wait to go home. I am doing well today though....very happy and blessed!

Roger's Girl---God can grant him favor and change everything. Stay hopeful and pray. All we need is one touch of His hand to turn this whole thing around. Its tough but dont let it get you weary or down.

Nuro's Wife--Yay! I am so glad you got to talk to your hunny! This distance is a killer but in the end it will be worth it. Stay strong.

08-09-2004, 07:14 PM
Hi Everyone,

Today finds me doing pretty well. I got a letter from my honey and had several collect call phone messages waiting for me when I got home. I was having a lonely day yesterday - the facility was supposed to let him out to call, but he didn't and I really missed him. When I got all these calls today, it told me they didn't let him out to call yesterday. What a guessing game we have to play sometimes. I just wish I knew when he would be out to call - half the time I'm not here. Oh well, it is getting better.

Nuro's wife - Boy, I have got to hand it to you for having so much strength and love to hang in there long distance for 5 years. My honey's been gone for a month and I'm going through withdrawals! You're made of some very strong stuff, lady! You've only got a year to go before being closer to him, so it will get better. I agree - staying busy is key for my sanity! Hang in there - I'm so glad you got to have a long series of conversations with him - it's so good to reconnect with them again.

Roger's Girl - I really understand how difficult all this change is for you - I've been going through a ton of it myself with my man this last year, especially this last month, and it's not easy, that's for sure. One thing I can give you a guarantee about - things will always change and we never know what tomorrow will bring. It's the hardest for me to see how this is all possible, even bearable, when I'm in the middle of digesting the changes. It all feels too painful and ovewhelming. However, I've found that when I hang in there and trust that both my honey and I are being taken care of in ways that we can't possibly see or understand yet, because the process isn't done yet, that the ending often holds some unexpected suprises. God really does work in mysterious ways! You came to the right place for understanding and support. You don't need to worry about what will happen, what decisions to make or how you will deal with this today - when you have all the information you need, you will know your answer - and that will be in God's time. Give yourself and God time to work this out with you, and for you. Just keep talking for as long as it takes you to get to the other side. We're here for you - just as these good ladies have been here for me during the last month of insanity the Corrections system has put my honey and me through. It really does get better. Take good care of yourself!



08-11-2004, 07:22 AM
Well me and my man are doing all right. They've all ready moved him out of the hospital and back to confinement. He said in the letter I got yesterday that his right leg was so swollen and he was in such pain he wanted to cut it off. :( He said the nurse brought over his meds on friday and didn't bring his pain medication. So he went all weekend without it. He said some of the CO's were really nice to him and bringing him Tylenol by the packs. So that is good. He said by the time he got up to write me he felt better.
He's so lonely and ready to get out of confinement so i can visit again. I understand his loneliness. I feel it as well. I understand that alot of you ladies don't get visits and I don't want to make a big deal out of it because of that fact. But I'm tired of no phone calls and no visits. The socail worker I spoke to the other day asked me why someone like him was even in confinement. He's so nice and polite, one of her best patients. :)
Anyway, aside from all that we are fine. We just miss each other like crazy.

08-11-2004, 08:40 AM

Today is Wednesday and I havent had a letter all week from my babe. I miss him so bad and I feel terrible. I want to hear from him so bad and all I can do is wait. He spoiled me all last month by writing two letters a week. I pray I will hear from him soon. Other than that I doing great. I have church this evening and I am ready to go and hear some good preaching.

Spikeswife--hey. Aww(hugs). Just relying on letters is hard. It's been years for me and I still havent got used to it. You will see him soon so hang in there. I am glad he is doing better even though he is feeling lonely. Keep them letters going and time will fly.

08-11-2004, 09:25 AM
Good Day Ladies! Hoping the mail cooperates with us all today. I just typed a 7 page book :) to my sweetie. I am even going to FedEx to him because I want him to read it before we talk again on Friday. The crazy things we do for love
:D :D :D !!!

08-11-2004, 11:20 AM
Greetings People :)

Today is Wednesday and I havent had a letter all week (or last week) from my babe. I miss him so bad and I feel terrible. I want to hear from him so bad and all I can do is wait. He spoiled me all last month by writing two letters a week. I pray I will hear from him soon. Other than that I doing great.

Babieboo do you see how much i'm feeling you? The only difference is i'm not going to church (Bible Study). :( Yes, boo... I know i should go. :o

Nevertheless, I hope we get some mail soon. :thumbsup: Personnally, I feel like crying,:cry:but i won't. I KNOW Daddy loves me, :D but not hearing from him and not knowing what is going on with him is killing me. :( We have been down this road thrice times too many. :mad: And we are so close it is crazy. God willing i will see him on Sunday with hopes that he can/will kiss me :p and make me all better.

08-11-2004, 11:28 AM
Awwwwwwww Can I join you MissOne and Babieboo? :( I have not seen a letter from the Hubbie this week either. I don't see anyone doing the mail dance any more. Today I will do it for all of us because I feel lost empty when I don't hear from him and he know that.
So here I go :dance: :dance: :dance:
Hopefully this will work for all who is waiting today!

08-11-2004, 11:36 AM
Yes my dear friend the mail man, I can smell him from 30 houses down :ha: . I havent got any mail this week from my baby, but today is only Wednesday, I seen him Sat and Sun of last week, I talk to him Tuesday and I'll be seeing him this Sat and Sun as well, you would think I dont need any mail, but I do. I miss him so much,every day that goes by I am constantly thinking about him. We used to talk EVERYDAY until my phone bill reached 435. :eek: So we are on restriction now, he calls whenever he can, he doesnt know when he can sign up for the phone, so it's hit and miss right now:blah:
But were doing pretty good. The kids start school next Monday, there anxious for that and so am I!!!

08-11-2004, 11:49 AM
Go on and shake your money maker!! Work it Work it!!!

:fb: :fb: :dance: :dance: :yay: :yay: :bow: :bow: :rock:

We need mail now!!!

08-11-2004, 03:52 PM
Go on and shake your money maker!! Work it Work it!!!

:fb: :fb: :dance: :dance: :yay: :yay: :bow: :bow: :rock:

We need mail now!!!

It's a few of us waiting on mail. Here is the link

08-11-2004, 04:28 PM
It's late wednesday and no mail for me today. That means that my man is in pain. He said he would do his best after the surgery so I can't freak. But it's bothering me cause I should be the one taking care of him!! :(

Ok anyway for all you ladies that didn't get a letter at all this week yet. I will now do a HUGE mail dance for you for tomorrow....we'll I guess for me as well. :)

:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: PLEASE WE NEED MAIL :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

Hope that it works!!!!!!!!!! :D

P.S. the letter I got the other day had a sticker inside on of those I :heart: stickers and he wrote on it "my wife" so it read I :heart: my wife. It was so very cute and sweet. But where did he get a big 'ol sticker?!

08-12-2004, 09:09 AM
It Worked! I got mail when I went home yesterday from my job! Hubbie Bear is worried about me and he says he loves me with all his heart and misses the babygurl. He is still in school and doing well. I just love that guy! I hope everyone else get mail today!

08-12-2004, 11:04 AM
Yay for Bunny! I am so glad you got mail.

I am still waiting and I am at work so I have to wait until 5pm. THere better be something in the box for me or else.....

08-12-2004, 11:45 AM
For All of you who are waiting on mail, I am doin da mail dance for ya!
:yes: :yes: :wave: :wave: :dance: :dance: :fb: :fb: :dance: :dance: :yay: :yay: :rock: :rock: :bow: :bow: This should do it! :D

08-12-2004, 05:32 PM
Well, I'm right in there with you all - I haven't received a letter this week, either. But with all that's been going on over in Colorado, I don't know when they are actually sending the mail out. Plus, since everyone there is in lockdown since the riot, we haven't spoken to each other for almost 2 weeks now. He tries to call me whenever they let him out, - still 1 hour every 3 days - but that's almost always while I'm at work, so all I get is the collect call recording - at least I know he's calling and thinking of me.

In the last letter I got, he told me about how they were treated and are still being treated since the riot. It's not good - lots of head games and abuse and no one to stop the guards from doing it. I guess they consider it payback time, especially since the guys can't do anything about it. It's really hard to hear how abusive they've been to him - cuffing him behind his back for hours so tightly that his hands have swollen to the point that he couldn't feel them or bend his fingers when they finally released him, sleeping on the metal platforms they have for beds with no matress, sheets, blankets or pillows, etc. Some of this stuff is mellowing a little - he does have bedding now.

For years I've asked him to share what goes on with him behind those walls, as it's a part of both our lives and I want to support him when this stuff happens, but he's tried to protect me from what he lives with. However, in the last 2 years, he's finally started to open up about what goes on there. It just makes my heart ache to hear that he's been mistreated, but I'm grateful that he's willing to share it with me finally. I just wish there was something I could do to help him.

Spikeswife - I sure can relate to wanting to be there to care for our guys - it would be very hard for me to hear my man was in pain and not getting the meds he needs. It's a hard road for all of us. At least we can bring this stuff here and be understood. Boy, I'm right there with you.

Thanks for all the mail dances - maybe a letter will arrive tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed - I miss my man soooo much!


08-12-2004, 07:09 PM
Just wanted to stop by and say hi to all the long termer like myself. Been here since feb and still finding alot of posts I might've miss. My hubby is on his 6 yr should see his first board in 2012, as for now we are awaiting the answer on a 440 motion, so I'm like the rest of you ladys taking it one day at a time. It gets hard sometimes and no matter how much you visit it seems like its not enough time, we have the trailers to make up some of the time. But its hard as I'm sure all of you know, whether its alil time or alota time. :(
So to all my people in PTO keep your head up and stay strong..And a BIG SHOUT OUT to the brains behind PTO thanks for someplace to let us vent, meet others like us with something in common, somewhere to get advice and or give advice. :thumbsup:

08-12-2004, 09:38 PM
Lise-- I'm sorry for all your man has been going through with the riot. I hope it gets better for him soon. I understand also about your man finally opening up to you about what goes on in there. My man was trying to protect me and still does at times. He keeps a journal of all he sees and stuff that happens to him. He just recently opened up to me after he tried to kill himself. But he still tries to protect me saying that he doesn't want me to worry I worry enough already. Which he knows I will do until he comes home!! :) So I feel you on that for sure. I hope you get some mail soon.I'm still doing the mail dance :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: Man it needs to work!!!

Ok my day.... well lets see no mail again today. :( Maybe tomorrow. Also there is a HURRICANE coming my way and I have to be at work at 1 pm. and they say it will be in my part of Florida around 8 pm. I get off work at 10 pm. so needless to say I'm afraid of what I will be facing weather wise when I leave. Of course all of us that come in late are praying things the bridge I take to work and they evacuate the island where I work!!! But I won't know till some time tomorrow. So please keep us in ya'lls prayers here in Fla.
But if I get some mail i will be soooooooo happy! I hope my man is all right. I love him so very much and miss him terribly.

08-12-2004, 10:36 PM
I'm so glad that I found this site because now I dont feel alone! My husband has been in for the past two years and has twelve to go, but like bunnyrun said I live for the day that I get the call to pick him up (we were together for nine before he got locked up) we had a lot of good times, and hope that we will once again be physicaly together, I know that we are togeather all the time in mind and spirit, like he always tells me god maid me thinking of you and maid you thinking of me. Well that is what we tell each other to keep strong, we still dont have trailer visits we have been waiting for the past three months, his counselor has only given us the round around, they gave a number to call but no one ever answers and it drives me nuts! I prayed to find some answers to my questions and I found this site I do believe in the diven power of prayer. So I pray every day that he will let my love come home soon!

08-13-2004, 09:32 AM
I got a letter yesterday but it was bad news. His parole got put off for 3 years....I am so heartbroken. He is hurting really bad also. I need strength right now to stay strong.

08-13-2004, 10:56 AM
Babieboo--I am so sorry to hear that. (((((((HUGS))))))))

The Lord is our strength, just rely on Him and His Word and we can't go wrong.

08-13-2004, 05:21 PM

I'm so sorry for the bad news. I know how it feels for you to both get your hopes up for release and then have them dashed again. This system hands out very little justice or compassion and it's hard to keep trusting that this will all work out in the end. But it will - I've been told more times than I can count that God never gives me more than I can handle. That doesn't feel possible when I'm in the middle of dealing with difficult news, but so far, it's turned out to be the truth. You are both very strong people - we all have to be to walk these paths that God's given us - and you will both make it through this.

I'm glad that you're sharing your feelings about all this, rather than just try to "tough it out". That would just makes this more painful. Take good care of yourself and I'm sending you lots of ((((((((HUGS!!))))))))


08-13-2004, 07:58 PM
Babieboo i'm so sorry to hear that. Pleased tell your honey that we are praying for y'all. Lise had some good comments for you. I on the other hand simply do not know what to say. One silver lining is that you heard from him and you know that he is atleast alive and well in health. But i am sure his spirit is weakened. Please keep your honey lifted up and i know/hope that PTO and your church will lift you up. Good things come to those who wait. I don't know how true that is, but that's what my granny use to say. Patience is a virtue that i don't have, but she use to say that too. Bottom line. It is my hope and prayer that you too make it through this together.

~smooches boo~

08-13-2004, 11:07 PM
Spikeswife - I don't know if you're able to access your computer with the hurricane passing through, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers during this hurricane storm. I hope you're safe and that we hear from you soon! Take good care of yourself -



08-14-2004, 06:21 PM
Hey ladies I am so sorry that I haven't posted here in a while I have just been really busy with work and trying to help my husband with his appeal, I have been ok just trying to stay strong and upbeat in this cold and cruel world. I am also getting ready for my trailer visit in 10 days wooooooooooohoooooooooooooo! LOL I am so excited I just dont even know what to do with myself! well I hope that everything is ok with everyone.

Babieboo, I just wanted to tell u that I am very sorry to hear that, it breaks my heart but I will keep you guys in my prayers, I love to hear when other people have the chance to come home, it reassures me that I too will see that come true one day, my husband is down for so long he has at least 17 more years to go before he is even eligible for parole, and U give me hope and u make me want to stay strong aswell because u are so upbeat and positive and before I knew about this site I didnt know of anyone who was so positive and upbeat about this situation, All u ladies give me hope for a better day, and he will be home in your arms sooner than u know it, just keep the faith sweetie all will work out fine!

08-15-2004, 05:38 PM
Hi Everyone,

Well, no letter this week and I haven't been able to talk to my honey for two weeks now. He keeps trying to call, but since they're only letting him out for 1 hour every 3 days and that's usually during the time at work, I'm not around to get his calls - just the collect call message. I'm feeling very lonely without having him in my life right now and missing him terribly. I'm hoping he'll be let out today and will be able to call me - I really need to hear his voice and connect with him somehow.

My head's playing those games - I know he has pen, paper, envelopes and stamps and he has nothing else to do but sit in his house day after day, so he has no reason for not writing, blah, blah, blah.... My heart knows that there's more to it than this. When he'd depressed or struggling, he has a very hard time writing anything, so my guess is that this lockdown, being away from home etc. is making his writing difficult. I wish my head would shut up. Maybe a letter will come tomorrow.....Oh well, this day shall pass.


08-15-2004, 08:23 PM
Hey Ladies! I Hope That All Is Well Under The Circumstances. As For My Husband And I We R Still Fightin' To Give This Tyme Back Because This 20 To Life Bid Dont Belong 2 Us..

Stay Strong.


08-16-2004, 08:35 AM
Hello everyone! I just wanted to jump on here real quick and let everyone know that I'm fine. Minimal damage in my part of florida. By the time it got to us here on the east coast it had been down graded to a cat. 1. But it was still a long night Friday night once it hit us. We never lost power, cable or the phone, so I was up most of the night watching it come towards us and keeping an eye on the area where my man is at. Of course it by passed him and he probably just got a lot of rain and maybe some wind. I haven't heard from him yet since they suspended all mail delivery for Sat. :( I know he's worried about me and his family that lives here. I have to get a letter out to him today. Florida is a mess right now millions homeless, several dead and even more without power.....and another storm is coming hopefully not our way but it's out there. It's a tropical storm right now and there is another hurricane way out in the atlantic.
Like I said I just wanted to let everyone know I'm fine...I still have some stuff to clean up in the yard.

Oh I did get some mail on Friday so that made it easier and just like I predicited he's in a lot of pain that's why the letters aren't coming everyday right now. I hopefully will get one if he sent me one for Sat.

Lise---thank you sweetie for you thoughts and concern. It's going to be along hurricane season that's for sure!! Thank you again for your prayers and concern. And yes I'm fine we didn't get the worst of it like the people in Punta Gorda. It's just really sad here to look at all the damage. It doesn't get any easier when one hits and I don't think it ever will.

Babieboo---I'm so very sorry for what you are going though now. Stay strong sweetie and keep your faith in God. Try and stay positive and plan your marriage to the man ya love!! We are all here for you. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Also lots of (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).

Stay strong everyone.

08-17-2004, 01:46 PM
Hello its tuesday and I am doing better. We have gotten closer since the news and I have grown to love him even more. My goodness i love my fiance so much! Even though we are not legally married he is calling me his WIFE! Yay! All of his letters to me address me as "My Wife" and he puts his last name as mine....awww that's my Daddybear! We will more than likely marry in about a month or so because I have to pay around $600 for everything.

THank you all so much for helping me stay strong. I dont know what I would do without you all's support. I love you!!!

08-17-2004, 03:58 PM
Babieboo-I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Love is such a wonderful thing. Enjoy the moment and make it last forever.

08-17-2004, 04:23 PM
Just wanted to pop in and say hello to everyone and say to Babieboo, I am sorry about your bad news regarding parole. I am very happy for you that you are going to marry him soon though! That's great! Glad everyone in Florida made it through the hurricane.
Take care ya'll,

08-17-2004, 07:35 PM
Bad thunderstorm here so I'll have to make this quick. Just wanted to tell Babieboo I'm glad your feeling better girl. And I know about those feel good feelings about hearing him call ya his WIFE!! :) Enjoy it girl and stay strong. :)

I got mail today a pretty long letter plus a hand made card filled with love!!!! :D Hope everyone is well and doing all right today.

Until tomorrow....

08-18-2004, 02:01 AM
Hello ladies. I just anted to take a few minutes to say that everything is going well. I talked to my hubby last night. We have such great conversations. I just love that man!:D

I am off for a few fun-filled days in Las Vegas. I'm not a big gambler but the SHOPPING....whoooohooo!!!!:yay:

Hope the mailman is great to everyone this week and that your visits go well this weekend. Take care.

08-19-2004, 09:35 AM
I want to go shopping!!!!

I am glad to see everyone is hanging in there and doing well. Today is thursday and I didnt want to come to work but I drug myself here anyway. I am waiting to hear from my hunny and my last letter was recieved on Monday. I hope everyone has a blessed day!

08-19-2004, 12:17 PM


08-21-2004, 04:13 PM
Babieboo--I just got back from Las Vegas and boy did I do some serious shopping!!!:D :D :D I treated myself to a Givenchy handbag---it was $990--but what the heck it's only money right?!?!?! I had a great time. I miss my hubby though. I can't wait to talk to him tomorrow.

Have a great eveneing ladies!

08-24-2004, 03:12 PM
Hello ladies: I hope everyone is doing all right? Me I'm feeling better. I guess I was just in a little emotional rut. Took some time for myself and doing better. :)
I got 2 very beautiful cards from my man today. He's going through some emotional stuff himself. We just need this confinement crap to be done with.
Other wise all is fine here. Hope all is well and everyone is doing good.

Stay strong and never stop believing.

08-25-2004, 06:24 PM
Hi Everyone,

I also took a few days off, mainly because I've been swamped at work and have needed some down time lately. Otherwise I'm doing well. I got an incredibly wonderful letter and a card on Monday, 2 calls and just got another letter today! So I'm feeling very loved and boy, do I miss my man!!

Spikeswife - I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Taking care of yourself at those times is the best thing you could have done - good for you! Glad to hear that you heard from you man - that helps a whole lot, huh?

Take care,


08-25-2004, 07:13 PM
Lise--Yeah girl that time for myself was just what I needed. I'm glad to hear you are doing all right and feeling soooo very loved. I got a couple of cards yesterday and a letter today.
We're just waiting on Oct. so I can hopefully see my man again!! It's been toooooooooo long!!

Hope everyone is doing all right. Not much else today. Probably gonna go just vegge in front of the T. V. before bed. :)
Night ladies.

08-27-2004, 05:01 PM
Hello Ladies. This week has been somewhat stressful for me. My fall classes started back on Monday and this Statistics class is killing me already! I know that I'll make it through but its rough already. My honey called me this afternoon so that really made the week end on a beautiful note. I also got 2 letters and a card today so the mailman was good to me too.

For everyone visiting this weekend, have a great visit!

08-28-2004, 07:59 PM
Hey everyone, I haven't checked in a long time, just was trying to get myself together for my trailer visit. I had such a beautiful time with my husband, it was definitely worth the wait!

My mom was in the hospital, I got a new job, My aunt had her baby, premature, at that, its just been a very hectic month for me but over all I am happy. My mom is doing much better and is home now. I thank God for that, My husband is researching his case and finds different aspects of it that are crucial to his appeal, I am confident that it will be successful, I know that I just have to continue to keep my faith and pray and everyhting will turn out well. Anyway, thanks for listening!

Nuro's wife keep ya head up girl, I know that u will do well with your classes, just try to take it easy and dont get yourself all stressed out. If u need to talk just pm me, ok girl!

09-01-2004, 06:17 AM
Getting ready for another hurricane here.:( This one is more headed towards me. Getting pretty scared here. At least it looks like it's moving not so directly towards my city but we have no idea where it's going. Other than that I've been doing all right. My man is going to be doing physical therapy in 2 weeks for 6 weeks. :D so that will mean he will be at the same prison so he will be out of confinement in Oct. So I only have a little while till I can see him again. I am just praying I make it through this hurricane all right.
Anyway hope all is well with everyone else?
Stay strong. And pray for us down here.

09-01-2004, 01:17 PM
Hello Ladies!! I am praying for everyone in who is facing this hurricane. The Lord is with you.

All is well on my end. I am so in love with my baby...I am so high off of him. I thank God for my baby who loves me for the woman I am. THank you Jesus for the love you have given us. I pray everyone else is doing well. God Bless you all. I love you!

09-01-2004, 07:01 PM
Hi Everyone,

Well, I just wrote this big email to all of you and it got lost somewhere when I sent it, so here goes again.

I'm doing pretty well, my honey in Colorado is also doing O.K., all being considered. They're letting them out for 8 hours every 3 days now and he can make 10 minute phone calls when I'm around to get them, so that's a big improvement.

I'm headed down to Salt Lake City for a 4-day Labor day weekend to see my son, who's serving 8 - life down there. He's my birthson and I found him 3 1/2 years ago, after a 27-yr. separation! We bonded immediately, even though he was on the run and mixed up with drugs/alcohol, etc. and finally got caught. It's been a tough few years developing a relationship under these circumstances, but we've done it and continue to do so. We write and call regularly, but this will only be the 2nd. time I've seen him since we reunited. I just found out that they will only let me see him in a no-contact visit for 1 1/2 hours on Sat. - that's it. Such a short time, but we'll make the most of it.

How I landed up with my long-lost son in prison and my fiance in prison is beyond me! It's sure not how I envisioned my future, but this is it. God must think I'm made of pretty strong stuff!! But I wouldn't trade either of them for anything!

Spikeswife - I hope the hurricane doesn't even look in your direction. You're in my prayers - take good care of yourself!

Anthony'sWife - Good to hear you had such a great visit! Sounds like you've had a lot of changes in your life lately - I'm glad it's beginning to settle down for you.

Nuro's wife - I know you'll do fine in statistics. My friend went through that course and had to get a tutor, it was so hard, so your not alone! Just remember, you don't need to get an "A" - just get through it. Once it's done, no one in the work world will ask you what grade you got!

Take care everyone,


09-02-2004, 09:03 AM
I'm so very stressed out right now. Why do hurricanes have to be so unpredictable? But we are getting ready and I'm praying all the time and I really miss my man right now. I pray he will be all right as well. But I keep getting told that prisons are pretty safe.

Anyway I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again but as soon as I can I will. Thank you for all the prayers. Florida really needs them right now and we are hoping this thing turns and goes up the coast and never makes land fall.

Everyone take care and I'll write again as soon as i can.

09-02-2004, 03:06 PM
Hello Ladies. Thanks Lise for the encouraging words.

All is well with me. My hubby is fine. I should talk to him tonight, so I am looking forward to that. School is in full swing for me and my daughters so my evenings are spent doing homework- mine and theirs. Overall though life is good. I have no complaints. I just try to stay focused and stay strong. I know that someday soon this whole nightmare will be over. I find comfort in having faith in God. Have a great evening everyone.

09-13-2004, 09:05 PM
Hi Ladies. I am having a terrible day which began for me at 2:00 am when I was awakened by one of those phone calls you dread to get during the middle of the night. One of my cousins was brutally murdered by her estranged husband. Our entire family is having a hard time dealing with this tragic news. I will be traveling back to NY on Thursday for the funeral arrangements and yes I will go and see Nuro during my visit too. Oh how I wish my husband was here to help me through this. I am even mad at him right now because he isn't here with me. I guess I am just feeling all sorts of feelings all at the same time. I haven't even cried yet; but I can feel the weight and pressure building inside of my chest.

I feel so this is a its not real...and I keep asking God why?!?!?! Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

09-13-2004, 09:36 PM
Oh, Nuro's wife - I'm sending you very big (((((((HUGS)))))))). What a hard place to be and I truly know how lonely you feel with all this. I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time and I want you to know that your NOT alone in this. I'm here and if you need to PM me, PLEASE DO.

I totally understand you feeling angry about Nuro, even though it seems illogical, it's not. These are the times we want and need our men to be with us so much. I don't doubt that if he could be there, he would be in a heart-beat. And you're right - your feelings are understandibly all over the place and the numbness is just a way to protect yourself until you can handle all the feelings. That's perfectly normal for what you're dealing with and eventually, in time, they will settle into some sort of acceptance.

If there's anything I can do to help support you during this time, just let me know. You and your family are going straight into my prayers tonight. Try to take good care of yourself during this hard time and know you are loved.

We're here for you, however you need us,


09-14-2004, 04:51 AM
Thank you so much Lise. Just reading your response actually brought tears to my eyes. It is the first time that I have cried since this tragedy happened. Thank you for helping me to release some of these feelings. Thank you for letting me know that how I am feeling is OK. I just need Nuro here with me so much. I am just mad because something like this had to happen and he can't be here for me or the family. I thank God for you and PTO.

09-14-2004, 09:31 AM

Nuro's wife I am sorry to hear that. I pray your strength.

09-14-2004, 05:39 PM
Hey Nuro my prays go out to u and your family be safe in your travels and try to enjoy your visit as best you can.

09-15-2004, 01:01 AM
Thank you to my "Long Term" family for all of your kind words and prayers. God Bless you all.

09-16-2004, 07:34 PM
Hi Everyone,

Just needed to share that I'm going through the "How am I going to do this for another 11 years?" week. I think what kicked this into gear was going on vacation for 4 days a couple of weeks ago and staying with my old friends who've been married for 26 years and have a really good relationship. I watched how comfortable and close they are with each other, we talked about all the things they do together, etc. and, although I had a wonderful time with them, I came back feeling so lonely for my guy.

We had been able to see each other at least once a month (used to be 2 -3 times a week) for the past 3 1/2 years, but with his transfer from WA to CO, I can only afford to see him about once every 6 months. Talking to him on the phone in 20 minute intervals with all the noise and distraction going on in the background just isn't the same and writing letters means we have to wait a week before we get each other's reply, which means whatever issues we were going through when I wrote are pretty much a done deal by the time I get his answer.

I'm missing his touch, his mannerisms, his soft, loving eyes for me, his laugh, the way we are together. I'm afraid we'll lose that as more time passes. It looks like the prison isn't planning on transferring him back to WA until he's got 5 years or less - that's 6 years away. I'm just feeling like I can't see how we can make it that long with so little contact and yet I can't imagine my life without him - I'd be totally heart-broken. Well, sorry to babble so much - I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening,


09-17-2004, 11:56 AM
I am doing well at this time. My Hubbie and I was having cat fights for the last few weeks, now we are all lovey dovey again. So it all feels quite normal except that he is not here. I bought a new computer system so I can talk on PTO more comfortable. It's gonna take me a week to put it all together because of the way I customized it and I have to move furniture a stuff to create a mini office in my master bedroom. School is just around the corner for me and the is exciting as well. I guess i can say all is good for me inspite of all that is.

09-19-2004, 08:42 PM
Well still cleaning up from hurricane frances. I just got power back on friday and my phone on Sat. Man what a mess. My prayers go out to all those who were in Ivans path.

Other than clean up i'm fine. My man was worried sick about me but he's fine now. Just kicking himself cause he couldn't be out here with me. He sent me a real pretty "Dolphin Rain Lamp" for my birthday. Well his mom did but with the money she was going to send him. So technically it's from him!! :D He was panicking about my birthday on this coming up Sat. since he is still in the hole and not able to really do anything. I'm glad his mom helped him out. But maybe I'll get to finally seehim next month. :)

Everything else is fine here just got alot of catching up o do on here. Hope everyone is well? Take care and God bless. Glad to be back!! :)

09-28-2004, 03:30 PM

09-28-2004, 03:33 PM
hey girls, doing fine here, boo thanks for the thread its a good one! nothing new over here just another lonely day and night! i miss him sosososososososooooooooo much it is unreal sometimes

09-29-2004, 04:53 AM
Hey Ladies,

I traveled home two weeks ago for my cousin's funeral. I created the Memorial Board. It turned out beautifully. It was my own personal tribute. I got to see my hubby too when I went home for the funeral, so that was a great upside to the trip. He looked so good!!!:D Boy, I can't wait until our next trailer!;) I just love that man!!!

Then I traveled to Bahamas this past weekend for my birthday. Despite hurricance warnings on Saturday---the trip was awesome. I had a great time. It was a great stress reliever and relaxer after a stressful few weeks.

Overall life is good. How is everyone else doing?

09-30-2004, 06:11 PM
Hi Ronnie,

Wow! Sounds like you had a great and much needed break, even with the funeral to attend. You sound good! That great and I'm glad you got to see Nuro - I can't wait to see my honey at the end of this month. Only 28 days left!

Spikeswife - So glad to hear you're O.K.! I'm sure cleaning up the mess is a hassle, but so much better than what could have happened. So you got a birthday present - how wonderful! My guy has no options for this - his parents are gone and he has no other family except me who are in touch with him, and since the riot, he has no options to make anything for me, which he always feels badly about. I don't mind - I don't need anything except him! His release date is 2015? - so's my guy! I guess we'll be talking for many years to come!

Hope all of you are doing well, take care,


10-03-2004, 08:54 PM
Well ladies I'm on vacation and the multiple hurricane clean up is almost done. So I'll have the rest of the week to myself. :D But now we have no idea what is going on with my guy. He's supposed to be out of confinement on the 15th (he was told that as long as he was at the medical facility he would be released after 75% of the time was done) But now the warden came and told him that and that he probably wouldbe transfered before that. :( So now we will be on pins and needles waiting to see if indeeded he will be moved and how far or close they move him this time. So now we don't know now when we'll see each other again. But we are hanging in there stronger than ever and more in love than ever!! :)

Yeah, Lise I love my present from him. But I always tell him to not worry so much about it I have all I will ever need in him. But he still seems to want to give me the world and I think the moon as well!! :D Yep, we'll be talking for a while it looks like. We'll be good friends by the time our guys come home. :)

Nuro's Wife---I'm so very sorry for the loss of your cousin. I'm sure your memory board was lovely and very touching. You went to the Bahamas? With all the storms? I'm glad you still had a great time. Maybe that's what I need a trip to a tropical island!!

How is everyone else doing? I hope well. Besides all the clean-up and problems with the DOC I'm doing pretty good I must say.

10-05-2004, 06:12 PM
Hi Spikeswife - I'm glad all is beginning to settle down a bit over there. My sister and her husband live in Vero Beach and I just got the latest on all the repairs to be done there. They were also lucky - their house only got fairly minor damage and their insurance is taking good care of them, so they're spending most of their time with others, getting people back on their feet again. It sounds like the hurricane season is past you now, thank goodness!

I got into a tiff with my honey on Sunday - I got mad at him and we haven't spoken since then. Of course, by Monday morning, I was feeling badly, even though I had good reason to be upset - I was ready to kiss and make up, (I wish that was possible!) Now I'm missing him like crazy and know that he's been having a rough couple of days, too. Well, he's supposed to call tomorrow a.m., so I'm sure we'll get it all worked out then. I just hate it when we're at odds with each other - it happens so infrequently, thank goodness, but it sure isn't a great place to be.

Talk to you later,


10-05-2004, 06:34 PM
Lise & SpikesWife--Thanks for the kinds words. Even though I had to travel back home for a sad occassion, seeing my husband made me feel so much better.

I talked to him this evening. He is just the sweetest guy. I just melt when I hear his voice. I love that man!!! We are preparing for our 11th Wedding Anniversary trailer visit coming up in November so we are both pretty excited.

Have a great week everyone.


10-06-2004, 08:32 AM
Hi Sisters!!!

Excuse me for not posting in such a long time. I pray everyone is doing well. In a few minutes I am going to read back to see how everyone is doing.

Well I am doing very well. We finally have a wedding date which is November 22, 2004!! yayy!! As you can see, we already call each other "husband" and "Wife" but it will be official in a couple of months. I am still nervous....but I am so happy. My parents is what I am concerned about. They still see me as their little girl and they trip on everything. His family is really nice and I have been talking to them alot lately. Oh my picture is up in the PTO loung in the picture thread so stop in there when you get a chance.

Everyone keep up the good work and it will pay off in the end. I love you!!! Stay strong!

I put a picture of the dresses I am thinking of wearing for the wedding. I need help picking one. Please visit the "prison wedding" forum to help me out and my thread is titled "My Dress.."

10-09-2004, 10:43 AM
im doing well too. i plan to see my baby tomorrow, this upcoming thursday nad saturday, so ill see him 2 days this week. he's supposed to call me tonight which i hope he does. its a trip: going one day without hearing from him is like forever!!!! but other than that im doing very well, and i hope you all are too.

10-15-2004, 02:13 AM
Hi Ladies. How is everyone? All is well here in Atlanta. I am missing my husband as usual. I'll get to see him next month though.

Our 11th anniversary is next month. When I sit back and think about the time, it is kind of hard to believe that we have survived an 11 year marriage under these circumstances. In some regards the time has flown by, but in other ways it seems to drag on. When I think back to 12 years ago when I met my husband (he was already inside then), I used to want to rush the years by thinking that I never would survive doing this for the long haul. Now that so many years have went by and I am older and more mature now, I have come to the realization that this lifestyle may continue indefinitely and that the end may never come; but I am OK with this. I now know that it is much more important to love and be loved the right way by the right person. I thank God everyday for my husband, irrespective of our current state of affairs.

Have a great weekend everyone and for those going on visits ENJOY!!!

10-18-2004, 08:56 AM
Hello Ladies. I pray all is well with everyone? AS for me I couldn't be better with my man so very close to me now. Still don't know when I will get to visit. They told him that it will be a couple of weeks so they can observe him to see if he will indeed stay out of trouble. I just love him so much and hopefully once he's out we can start to re-do our plans for our wedding.

Well other than that all is well here.

Nuro's wife congrats on the 11th wedding anniversary. You give me the hope to know that we all can do this cause our love is strong even though people don't understand it. Have a great day once it arrives!!

Take care everyone. :)

10-20-2004, 02:11 AM
I am doing much better today. I talked to my husband last night! :yay: I had been missing him something terrible over the last week because we hadn't talked and the mail has been slower than ever.:( But we are all good now! Just counting down the days until I see him next month.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

10-25-2004, 11:00 PM
Well I haven't been here in a long time, since July but we're doing well. I got out of my house, and away from my family hassles, it helped a lot. I moved to Savannah, so I can go to school here, I had to defer a semester but thats cool, and we just got world that his request for transfer is being granted and he'll be in Jesup, so we be in the same state and only an hour and a half away. Plus, I got more "special" visits this year than I ever have. My man is in the fed, so we've been through more than a few tranfers. It's been eleven years now, and we've got at least eight more. I miss him more, not less as time goes by. I haven't met too many people here yet, so it helps that he and I are so close. We stay honest and do it one day at a time. Whenever i feel sorry for myself, I think;"I could be in his shoes" and I get over it. Plus, I've had a lot of people close to me die, so I keep in perspective. A lot of people are in destructive, miserable relationships,we love each other and we keep it real. I may not have everything I want, but I'm grateful for what I got.

10-26-2004, 12:15 AM
Gosh. I feel like a rookie! My man is going on his 4th year of his sentence...a bout 35 to go, unless things go RIGHT for once with his resentencing... Every day is tough, as you all well know. I see him twice a week (for now anyway) because he is in the county jail awaiting a court date, but I will admit, its harder for me to see him at County than it is in prison, because at least in prison we can hug and kis.s.. right now we are behind glass. We aren't together at themoment, but are taking things one day at a time to see if we can work out our problems that we had about a year ago and get it together. Its a struggle, but I know we'll make it.

11-03-2004, 09:15 AM
Hello ladies! i'm in such a good mood today. Since I can talk to my honey and see him again i'm feel as if I'm walking on air!! :) I just am so in love with him and I was missing him so bad. But all is good now. I get to see him both Sat. and Sun. this week. I just love feeling like this!!
I hope all is going all right with everyone else?

11-03-2004, 04:39 PM
I am not doing too good today. I have been a bit down since the weekend. I haven't talked to my husband in about a week and yes it has me mad, sad and frustrated all at the same time. :mad: :( :blah: I have been doing for so long you would think that I would be used to it by now; but I guess this will never be anything to get used to. I have been writing to him for the past few days trying to express how I'm feeling as well as bring myself out of this funk that I'm in. I am glad though that I have PTO to be that one bright spot for me. I hope all is well with everyone else.

11-04-2004, 03:56 PM



11-04-2004, 08:16 PM
I am feeling numb these past few days. Actually after this election, I don't know how to feel. I gues I feel numb. I have not heard from the Hubbie in a week. I started school last week and I am beat. I just feel blah. Stuck emotionally.

11-06-2004, 12:29 AM
Hi Everyone,

Sounds like the blues are going around. I'm also having a difficult week as I just returned from my first visit to my man in 6 months since his transfer to Colorado from WA. This is the longest we've been apart in the years we've been together, so we were really looking forward to this visit. Anyway, as much as it meant to me to be with him, I was just stunned to see him when he first came into the visiting room. The prison has changed him so much on the outside. They had a major riot down there in July and they've all been locked down since then, but regaining some freedom as time goes by. He's always been an robust, super-healthy, happy, energetic man. But now, he's lost a lot of weight, is pale and his skin was all broken out from the really bad food, what small amounts they get, and even worse water. His hair been butchered by them and most of his muscle tone is gone from months of no exersize. He's still the same guy on the inside, but it just tore my heart out to see him this way and to have to leave him there. Anyway, I'm hoping things really will continue to get better for him as they recover from the riot.

Bunny - I'm pretty sure you'll start feeling again in time. Usually, when I'm feeling numb, it's my body's way of protecting me from what I can't handle feeling at the time. Just be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself and know you're cared about here. I hope you hear from your man soon - I'm sure that will help.

Ronnie - Boy, can I relate to your blues. Thank goodness we have this place to turn to when it all gets to be just too much. I also often think I'll eventually get used to this difficult life, but I don't, although some days are definitely better than others and there are actually some great days in there. But on days like these, it's just a hard place to be. This, too, shall pass for all of us.



11-06-2004, 02:52 AM
Babieboo--I know with your approaching wedding you must be full of joy and bliss! Send some of that our way, ok?

I am working really hard to pull myself out of the funk that I have been in. I am really getting excited about going to see my hubby in less than 2 weeks.:D We have our next trailer on our anniversary so that will be really special.

Bunny & Lise---We have to pull ourselves out of the blues! Get up, put on some good music and just dance. That always re-energizes me and gets me going again.

Have a great weekend ladies!

11-06-2004, 11:11 AM
(((HUGS))) KISSY-KISS!!! (((HUGS))) :grouphug:



11-06-2004, 11:34 AM
well to all the ladies i am doing ok i miss him more then anything i just wish i could see him or touch him just something but he is so far from me it's hard to take off work and go up there and see him... but on the other hand im actually the only one he has his brother is a d*** head and his mom well he hasnt heard from her like in 1 month it's crazy but hey we all take it one day at a time god bless you all and best wishes

11-11-2004, 08:34 AM
bunnyrun5 & Lise & Nuro's Wife....Ladies I'm so sorry ya'll are feeling blue right now. But I've been there and just cause things are looking up for me right now doesn't mean there won't be a time I'm back there. So I want to send some very important (((((((HUGS))))))) ya'lls way. Hang in there ladies. I'm glad we have PTO to come to when we are down and out. I hope and pray things turn around soon for ya'll. Sending lots of love and prayers. :)

Babieboo Your weddings just around the corner. I'm really happy for you!! :) Can't wait for mine. :)

All is going all right for me right now. Just getting frustrated sine my job doesn't post our schedule in a timely fashion so I don't know till the last minute if I can go see him. :angry: it is just soooooo annoying!! But all n all things are fine here. :)

11-11-2004, 01:44 PM
I'm a mixed bag this week. I always have the blues after a visit, the goodness of seeing him is offset by the pain of having to leave him there, and in this case, the uncertainty of when I'll see him again. Every time he's moved, and the feds have moved him a lot, we go through it, because we don't know if the new prison will let me come. I also really worry about how his record will effect him. I've been a good girl, since 92, but my record dogs me everyplace. With him, with jobs, with housing. I've tried to close it, but the State of New York has lost my files, and because of that I wont even be eligible, until 2012. So, I was very happy last night to have him call me and tell me, he's been ordered to pack out. But I'm nervous. He really doesn't like where he is now, and I am, really looking forward to having him closer. We also are using our phone minutes, like crazy because they are paid for, and in transit he can only call collect or not at all. So thats nice. Nuro's wife - I hope your visit is exceptional! You really echoed what I feel in your post. I'd rather go through this, a hundred times over with him, a man I love and respect, and who is good to me in every way, than be with anyone else. He's told me, many times that if I feel I need to let go, he'll understand, but I never could. I look around me, at other peoples relationships, and I do have more. There are some good things, that have come out of this. He's really looked at himself, and grown deeper and wiser. He's in prison, yes, but he could have been killed in the street, we could have not been together, never have given the time and attention to the relationship that this has forced us too. We've learned, because we had to. I think having to keep it real, on every level has made us stronger, and our relationship deeper. We appreciate each other in ways that people who tak each other for granted never will. There are those days, when I ask, "why us?" when it makes no sense to me, and I cry out of frustration, but then there are those nights when he calls me, and says exactly the right thing, and I know that in spite of everything, I am blessed.

11-12-2004, 10:03 PM

all I can say is ONE DAY AT A TIME....


11-16-2004, 10:14 PM

You echoed my feelings about my man and how our relationship has grown and matured to the incredible place it is now. He also could have died on the streets and these many years in prison has given him the time and space to grow and really reevaluate what he wants life and himself to be about - and he's become an amazing man. Our relationship has just gotten stronger and more committed with each year.

I got home from a 3-day visit about 2 weeks ago and hit the post-visit blues about 6 days after I returned - I think I just sort of numbed out until then. But I'm feeling much better now a days, with a little time pasted now.

My man was transferred to CO. from WA in July due to overcrowding - I just spoke to him and the prison is planning on picking up another 70 guys tomorrow for involvement in a really serious riot that happened 2 weeks after they arrived there. They told us the sweeps were over about 3 weeks ago, but they've continued to do these suprise sweeps on them. Even though my man wasn't involved in any way, there's no way of knowing if they'll take him or not - they've taken a lot of innocent men away already. So, I'm asking if you'll keep our guys in CO. in your prayers.

Anyway, I hope you're doing better these days. Take good care of yourself,


11-16-2004, 11:00 PM
This is my first time on this forum.. My husband was transferred to Colorado from Washington about four months ago. I have waited two years to be able to visit and have just been approved. We have a two year old son that he has not seen since he was 9 months old. He has 71/2 yrs left. This has got to be the hardest situation to be in. Being away from your loved ones really hurts. This situation is taxing on my whole family. Thank you Lise for hipping me to this website. Take care all. Brandy

11-17-2004, 09:11 AM


11-17-2004, 09:13 AM
Welcome to PTO Brandy!!! You came to the right place, that is for sure!! There is so much love and support here!! Keep your chin up, and if ever you need to talk, feel free to PM (private message) me!! Always here for ya.... :grouphug:

11-17-2004, 08:00 PM
Hi Brandy - Good to see you over here! I've been spending so much time over on the WA forum that I haven't been visiting regularly over here, but you've come to a very good spot!

The people here understand loving a long-term offender like no one else and I sure do appreciate all the support I've received here. Welcome!



11-18-2004, 08:23 PM
Hello all. Thanks for the welcome.. I am really new to this, so be patient with me. I am still waiting to hear from my husband. I got a phone line that he will be able to call me from for cheaper rates. This will really help. When life gets rough I just need to hear his voice so I am praying that all goes well with the line. Take care all..

11-19-2004, 05:51 PM
Welcome Brandy!! You'll find alot of support here for long term sentences. I know what ya mean about needing to hear his voice when it gets rough. :) PM me anytime ya need to. Glad your here.

Well ladies I'm doing pretty good right now. Going to see my honey on Thanksgiving and I can't wait. It will be our first holiday actually together-together if ya know what I mean...something other than just a phone call. :) And thanksgiving is his favorite holiday so it will be even more special. I had a rough week at work but I think i'm going out tonight to have a couple of drinks and relax. Hope all is going all right for every one.
Hugs to all,

11-19-2004, 07:00 PM
I hope you have a great visit. You are so lucky to be able to spend a holiday with him. In NJ they don't have visits on holidays. My man hates the holidays. But I keep telling him that one day when he does come home we will have the best holidays ever together.

11-20-2004, 12:01 AM
Hello my fellow long sentence ladies...Lets start a check in thread to help each other daily to deal with our men being gone so long..I will start

My day is going well. I got a letter from my fiance this weekend and we are still waiting on the decision from the PBoard. He had his interview in June. I miss him like crazy. As you may know we recently got engaged and now we are going to go ahead and wed while he is there because we realize that we may not have this opportunity in the future. We really dont care how long he may have to be in there...all we want is to be together forever. I take it one day at a time. Stay strong ladies..the storm wont last forever.
i'm going to attempt to reply to this. I just signed up tonight and i'm not sure how to get around this website just yet. But if someone gets this, please talk to me. My boyfriend is in prison for 3 more years and i am lost without him. I don't know how I can make it through this alone. Please help me!!

11-20-2004, 12:03 AM
I just signed up tonight. Anyone who is out there, please respond to me. I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend is locked up for 3 more years and I don't know how i'm going to get through this alone. Please reply, please talk to me, please help me......

11-21-2004, 12:51 AM
Heatherarndt - Welcome to PTO! You will find what you need in the way of support here. We all know how it feels to be aching for our loved ones and wondering how we will ever make it through to the day they come home to us. Whenever I find myself in that place, I come here and find the support and friendship I need. You will find your way through this difficult time - these hard days come and go (thankfully!) for all of us. I was feeling just as you do about a month ago and couldn't see how I could get through it, but I did and realized that no matter how tough this path is that I've chosen to follow, I have the best relationship I've ever had with an incredible man who loves me like I've never been loved before. Although our circumstances are far from perfect, I wouldn't trade our relationship for an easier one with someone on the outside at any point.

We are all strong women here - we need to be in order to make it through this and we all know we don't need to do this alone - we have each other here at PTO. Welcome - you are in the right place!

Hey Spikeswife - I'm so happy to here that you're on your way for a real visit - the kind I'd pull my teeth for!! What a wonderful memory you two will have of your favorite holiday! When do you leave and how long will you be gone? How many days do you two get to spend together? Whatever it is, enjoy your "normal" life together, so to speak, to the max!!



11-21-2004, 10:25 AM
I have been reading posts like you wouldn't believe. I just talked to my guy again this morning. I see one familiar name here.....Lise :)
I love hearing my guys voice. The strength I get from him will keep me going through all the rough times.
We are trying to get everything sorted out for getting married. If I could get someone from CCCF to call back that would make me extremely happy.
Lady's it has been such a blessing for me to find PTO. Lise has been a lifesaver for me. Our guys are in the same facility. I am so thankful that things should be getting back to "normal" tomorrow. My guy is really excited that he finally gets to go back to class. He had checked on grants for schooling but was told that they were ONLY for the Colorado guys. It will all work out. I got an awesome card from him 2 days ago. He usually tells me when he has sent a letter so I am constantly watching for the mail. It was such a pleasant surprise. Day by day I am falling more and more in love with him. I honestly didn't think I could love him more than what I already do.....but it is possible. :)
I am happy that I have found this thread for the times I am feeling lonely.
Have a great day everyone.......make the best out of all that life hands you. Good, bad or indifferent....we are in this together.

Heatherarndt - Welcome to PTO! You will find what you need in the way of support here. We all know how it feels to be aching for our loved ones and wondering how we will ever make it through to the day they come home to us. Whenever I find myself in that place, I come here and find the support and friendship I need. You will find your way through this difficult time - these hard days come and go (thankfully!) for all of us. I was feeling just as you do about a month ago and couldn't see how I could get through it, but I did and realized that no matter how tough this path is that I've chosen to follow, I have the best relationship I've ever had with an incredible man who loves me like I've never been loved before. Although our circumstances are far from perfect, I wouldn't trade our relationship for an easier one with someone on the outside at any point.

We are all strong women here - we need to be in order to make it through this and we all know we don't need to do this alone - we have each other here at PTO. Welcome - you are in the right place!

Hey Spikeswife - I'm so happy to here that you're on your way for a real visit - the kind I'd pull my teeth for!! What a wonderful memory you two will have of your favorite holiday! When do you leave and how long will you be gone? How many days do you two get to spend together? Whatever it is, enjoy your "normal" life together, so to speak, to the max!!



11-21-2004, 10:38 AM
Lise---"YES" I'm thankfull for this "Holiday" visit more than any thing. I'm only an hour away from him now. So I'll be able to go down early on Thanksgiving day and spend the day with him. So yeas I'm lookin forward to it sooooo very much.

I'm doing all right today missing my honey like crazy. A little sad cause he said he mailed me a letter last Monday and I never recieved it.:( But I just keep thinking about our up coming visit. But I just miss him sooooo much.

Patti... I know what ya mean about getting strength from hearing your guys voice. When ever I'm feeling down and he calls everyting is instantly all right. He knows exactly when I need's scary some times. I too fall more in love with him wih each passing day. :)

Lise is right we are very strong women and those that try to project negativity into our lies about the life we've chosen for ourselves obviously are srtong themselves now do they know whet true love is. We have each other and we will get through the years that we all have to wait till our loved one is home with us. I love it hear and all the suport I get from you ladies!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving...we all have so much to be thankful for don't we? Have a good one.


11-22-2004, 07:38 PM
Good Evening Ladies. It seems like forever since I posted here. Life has been crazy and hectic as usual. I just got back from seeing my hubby. We had our trailer visit where we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary (all from the inside). We had a great time.

When I sit and really think about how long we've been doing this and how fast the time has really flown by, I know that I could do this forever. Of course, I pray that we don't have to; but these wonderful times do far outweigh the bad times.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving All!

11-23-2004, 08:30 PM
Nuro's Wife...I'm so happy for you for you anniversary and the visit. You are definitly lucky to be able to get those visits. It must make it a bit easier...if that's possible. I cherish every little visit and touch, kiss whatever we can get right now. This state is miserable!! :( They freak out at the littlest things. I guess I'm just depressed right now since they sent a letter back to him for inapproperiate writing?! He said he didn't even write anything inappropriate. But we aren't going to let it ruin our holiday visit that's for sure. And as always we will steal as many little kisses as we can!! :) But I'm glad you had a GREAT time and wonderful anniversary.
Happy Thanksgiving!! :D

12-07-2004, 04:00 PM
Hey Ladies. It's been pretty quiet in here. I guess its that time of year, huh? I know the holidays for me are truly a mixed bag of feelings. I am happy to share these joyous times with the kids; but I am kind of sad too when I think about all of the holidays that Nuro and I have been apart too. BUT God is good and Life has been good to me. I wouldn't trade anything for my journey!

12-07-2004, 10:05 PM
Hi Ronnie,

Yep, it is quiet these days, and I know that, for me, it's definitely the holiday season - I'm so flippin' busy I can hardly keep track of myself! The holidays are, as you say, a mixed bag for me also. I have many fun events coming up (too many!), but everytime I go out I think about how much I would love to do these things with my man and imagine him with me everywhere I go. Well, give us 10 1/2 yrs. and it will be a reality. Until then, I come here.



12-09-2004, 02:01 PM
Hello ladies. Today is going all right. Things are a bit hectic here with the holidays here. I decorated and that made me feel a little better about them. I'm done with my shopping now I have to wrap. :)

Lise--- I feel the same way.. I wish he could be here and we can go to the holiday parties together, maybe have them at our house and fix the big Christmas dinner for every one. But in 11 well I guess it might be 10 1/2 also till it becomes true. Lise do you have any idea of when he gets out then? I know we'll be here a while together. :)

I hope everyone is about ready for the Christams holiday, I'm thinking I might actually go out for New Years this year. I think I deserve it. :) Happy holidays to all!!

Love, Spikeswife

12-10-2004, 12:14 AM
Hi Spikeswife,

Good to hear from you! My man will be released on June 15, 2015 (not that I'm focused on that date or anything!) The holidays are difficult, but we're doing O.K. with it so far. Things have been so up in the air since he was transferred to Colorado and the riot occurred - we never knew what was coming with each new day. But things are really beginning to settle down for us. He's working in the library and the kitchen every day, so he's eating like a horse and reading everything in sight! They still haven't gotten to go outside since July, so it's been a long haul for them, but it's getting so cold these days, that going outside isn't that much of a big deal right now.

Anyway, I visited him in Oct. - a hard visit, but we made the most of it and set our wedding date - June 27th, 2005, which will be our 2-yr. anniversary of when he proposed to me, so that's something for us to look forward to!

Ronnie - I forgot to mention Congratulations on your wedding anniversary - I can't say I'm not envious, but I'm very happy you got to enjoy time together. That time must be so precious to you.

I hope you're both doing well. Take good care,


12-11-2004, 02:50 PM
Hey yall! Well some of you may know that we finally got married on nov.22. I went home all the way to texas and had a really great time. I spent a lot of time with his family and mine as well. Ever since then, my emotions have been a roller coaster. Today I am not feeling so well. Dont get me wrong, i am grateful of my life and of all the things that the Lord has blessed me with. Its just that I miss my husband soo much. My bridal shower is today so that will help me cheer up. Later on today I am also going to do some decorating and will be sending some christmas cards out.

12-11-2004, 06:35 PM
((((Hugs)))) Princess! We all know exactly how you feel. There are good days, better days and not-so-good days. The bright side to it all is that the not-so-good days won't last long. They help us to build our strength and fortitude for continuing on this long journey with our mates. We are a strong group of women and we'll continue fighting the good fight!

I didn't get to attend your bridal shower; but of course I wish you all of the best that marriage has to offer! It truly is bliss!!!

12-12-2004, 12:36 AM
Mija - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! What wonderful news! I'm so glad it went well for you and can totally understand your mood swings. It's hard enough to leave them prior to making that lifetime commitment to each other, let alone after you've made them. Ronnie said it well - this too, shall pass and the ride will start to have less major ups and downs.

I know it was really hard to leave my man behind in CO. when I had to come back to WA, but after a rather rocky few months, I'm feeling very peaceful, connected and loving with my man. I thought it was just too hard to get through because I missed him so much, but I got through it.

I'm sure you'll have a great time at your bridal shower! My friends have all been getting excited about throwing mine and are getting very creative with what to give me - and mine won't even be until next June! I'm glad we both have friends who are willing to stand by us, support us and celebrate with us through what we know are wonderful moments for us, but are often hard for others on the outside to understand.

Sounds like you're taking good care of yourself - I'm sending you big ((((((Hugs)))))) for the hard times and lots of smiles on your newlywed status!!


01-03-2005, 09:32 AM
My husband has been down 7 years. We've been together 3 of those 7. We take one day at a time, one step at a time. We are often faced with many obstacles but what we can not go around, we go over, under and through. There's always a way! Our faith in God, our love for each other surpasses all trials and tribulations the devil can throw at us. These road blocks, stumbling blocks, whatever you want to call them only makes our committment to God and each other stronger and deeper. If I am feeling down I always remember the love I have for God and my husband and I remember the love they have for me. I live by my quote below.

"For as low as you go, ask God to take you that high."

01-03-2005, 11:07 PM
Well it's the start of a brand new year and I plan on being more positive and less negative and down about my guys sentence. There's no sense in me always complaining about it or being depressed. I need to cherish every minute I get with him and stop worring about what if's. Like he tells me he has to do it there's nothing we can do about it except take it day by day.
So that's what I plan on doing this year and hopefully it wil be a great year. He's closer now and I've already visited more than I did when he was 5 and 1/2 hours from me. We are trying to finalize our wedding as well for 2006. So I actually have alot to be happy about right now so that's how i'm going to spend this year positive and happy!! :D

Hope everyone had a nice Christmas and a good New Year's. :)

01-04-2005, 10:17 AM




01-04-2005, 08:19 PM
I am also preparing for a better 2005. I intend to have a closer walk with God. My husband and I have vowed to focus only on the positive this year and give very little attention to anything that does not honor God and our family.

LovingSoul--I too love your quote, in fact, I loved your entire post. It was so eloquent and beautiful that I had to print it to share it with my beloved.

SpikesWife--I am with you on not focusing on the sentence, just focusing on the the good that we have. Last year I found myself getting so anxious about my husband's upcoming 1st visit to the parole board that I was giving myself panic attacks. I am committed too to not dwelling on the "what ifs". Thank you sharing such encouraging words with us all.

Babieboo--Mrs. Married Woman!!! I am so happy for you and I can just feel your enthusiasm and passion in your words. You have been a light to me since I joined PTO. Continue to shine in 2005!

01-05-2005, 07:47 AM
Hey everyone! I too am trying to focus more on the positive and keep my thoughts away from the parole hearing this summer. I notice that if I start talking about it too much my husband gets this look on his face that translates to "please don't do this to yourself". He says that everything that can be done, has been done and it is out of our hands now. Being the control freak that I am it's hard for me to accept but accept it I have! They can't keep him forever and the trailer visits definitly help because you have small goals to reach, instead of looking at the long sentence.

01-13-2005, 07:43 AM
Hello ladies hope every one is doing well and off to a good start this new year. Me, well things are going pretty good I can't complain. Just a little to worry about I had to go get a scan of my thyroid to see if I have a tumor or a cyst that is causing my hyperthyroidism. I'm a little scared, but I pray to God every day about it and get my strength from him and my guy. God has looked out for me this far and I know he will continue to do so. So I'm trying to be positive about it, and it does have positive side it explains my weight problem and they said that once I get my thyroid under control It should be easier to get the weight off. And then I can look like I use to. :) So that's good. Other than that things are going great. My honey is doing all right as well. We are looking into the marrige again. We have to talk to the chaplain at his new place and see what we have to do since it was approved at his other prison. So thats coming along fine.

Well not much going on here. Hope all is well with everyone else. Been busy with work so I haven't been posting alot. But I think I'm going to make the time from now on. It's very theraputic for me if that makes since? :)

Sending hugs and prayers,

01-13-2005, 08:05 AM



01-16-2005, 10:57 PM
BabieBoo: Thanks Lady!! I am praying it's not a tumor either. I wish they would hurry up and tell me what is going on. It's very stressfull and my poor honey is so very worried about me since he can't be out here with me to go through this with me.
Yeah, we are talking marriage again. But they've changed the procedure down here in Florida. We can't use the date we picked any more. Now it's the 2nd Wed. of certain months. A WEDNESDAY?!?! How are the 4 family and friends we want there to stand with us supposed to be there on a Wed? But I guess the dates not so important as is the act of us officially becoming one in Gods eyes. :) He just has to get with the chaplin at this new prison and see if our previous approval is stil good or if we have to go through the process all over again. Se we'll see whats going to happen, but we are planning on March 8, 2006. :)

I hope you have heard from your husband and all is fine. Glad to hear everything is going all right for you and that God has blessed you. :)

I will keep ya'll posted as to my diagnosis about the tumor.

02-12-2005, 06:21 AM
Good Morning Ladies. I just noticed that we haven't checked in in some time. I hope that all is well with everyone. All is well here with me down here in Georgia. I am in the process of looking for a new job and relocating so I can be closer to my husband, so I am pretty excited about that. We are also beginning his preparation for going to the board. My husband has been inside for 25 years and it will take a miracle for him to be released at his first board hearing. I am praying for that miracle.

SpikesWife--I hope your health is great and tumor free.

Peace and blessings to everyone.

02-18-2005, 08:48 AM
Good morning all. I'm, in such a good mood today. Don't know anything else about the hyperthyroidism and I won't till March 2nd. But my honey called last night and we finally heard from the chaplain!! We have to go through the approval process again cause it was only good for a year and if he had gotten back to us in a timely fashion we wouildn't have to......BUT....anyway the good news is that we've got te ball rolling again to get married. And he was told that apparently I can have 4 guests that don't have to be on his visitation list and he can have 4 that do!! :) I have to read over the information he sent me but he theyway he understood it we can still pick any date we want and the chaplain there can marry us if we do a six week counseling session. But like I said I have to read over it all. I'm so excited right now I can't breathe!!! :) I'm going to bust. It will break my heart if any thing goes wrong this time. :( But i will remain positive. And I'll keep every one update as it all progresses!!
Second good piece of news, I met my guys bestfriend this past weekend at visitation. They are both at the same prison they grew up together and I'm glad they are there together. Then he calls me and tells me that his cousin got there yesterday!! So now he's got family there and I feel so much better that they have each other to really look out for each other..that there is rel trust and loyality there amongst the 3 of them. It takes some of the worry off of me and for that I'm happy. :)
Third good news. I got to see my favorite band on Feb. 13th. Duran Duran!! (Now I"m gonna be silly) :) I hadn't seen them since I was 14 years old. It was great to just go out and act silly, dance, and screem my head off I felt 14 again and it was GREAT!!!! :)
Well thats all for now from here. I'll keep everyone updated on the new wedding plans and my up coming Doctors visit. Hope all is well with every one. Have a good day.

Hugs, Spikeswife

02-18-2005, 10:19 AM


04-01-2005, 11:02 PM
I haven't been here for awhile....but I'm doing all right with the hyperthyroidism. I took some iodine radiation pill to kill my thyroid cells. I go back on april 27th to see if it worked if it did then I will have to start thyroid medication for the rest of my life. But so far I feel all right except I'm begining to get really really tired but they said I would.
I got some good news tonight. We've finally been approved to be married and we have a date of June 16th! I'm so very happy and can't wait.
I hope everyone is doing all right? Cause as for myself I'm walking on air right now!

Hugs to all. :)

04-16-2005, 04:57 PM
Some days are better than others. We still have 16 years left and no trailer visits. I truely envy those of you that get them. I miss my baby with every inch of my body and some days it feels like just too much to bare. But, i can't even for a moment imagine loving anybody else. At times i've thought how much easier things would be for me if i were to somehow move on, but when he looks into my eyes, it's like he seems to reach right down into my soul and knows exactly what is going on. He still makes my heart pound when i'm near him, the same way he did right from the start. No one has ever known me like that. No one has ever be able to touch my hand and send all my worries away. How could i ever walk away from a love like that! True and deep and all consuming. I would walk through fire for him. I would walk through fire for him :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

04-16-2005, 05:15 PM
hi all...

my hun has a life sentence so i dont know if that qualifies for this post but just wanted to read everyone's story. I am doing so so as I havent seen my hun for almost 2 months now since he has been transferred up north (13 hours away!!!). SO i have thrown myself into work, alot more work working 16 hour days and no day off. i spoke to my hun last night and got a job working in the kitchen of all places! i want him to talk to his counselor in changing jobs cuz the kitchen is not the most sanitary since there are reports of food poisonings and e coli outbreaks and it worrys me even more. i know he may not have a choice in choosing jobs but i know he will try. he has done it before! but our relationship always seem to get stronger every time there is a bump in the road. And I love how that we are so open with eachother. We will always have our ups and downs but through it all, we become stronger and have more faith in each other.

04-17-2005, 09:56 AM
Hi Everyone,

It's good to see people checking in here again (including me)! I've been over on the Washington out-of-state thread for the last - gees - 10 months, as my man was transferred along with 100 other WA inmates to Colorado last July, due to over-crowding in WA. Now, they just transferred all of them to Minnesota last week and there's noise that will be for 3 years. So all of us family members have been turning to PTO to keep our sanity while all this has been going on. I've seen my man once in the last 10 months and plan to see him this summer, once things settle down in MN. That's a big change for us, as we used to see each other at least once a month to several times a week, depending on which facility he was in. So I'm envious of anyone who gets to see their man more than once a year!! He's got another 10 years to go, so it'll be this way for a while.

We're doing really well and are as close and connected as we've been for the years we've been together. He's a wonderful, loving, supportive man and I'm so very blessed to have him in my life, no matter how that is. We're definitely in for the long haul!

Spikeswife - Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! How exciting!! Keep us updated on all the arrangements! We're also planning to get married - we'd been approved to marry in CO. and then they got transferred, so we're starting the process over again in MN. We'll get there eventually. I hope all this goes really smoothly for the two of you.

Take care,



04-21-2005, 11:34 AM
Lise_ Thanks and yeah we are getting pretty excited since it's coming so fast. I've got a pretty dress but mom wants to continue to look. I've found shoes for the dress I have all ready. We have our vows and someone to marry us. So things are coming along rather nicely. Just wanting on the chaplain to tell us when we can apply fro the license and what time we should be at the prison. I hope things work out for you and your honey. Is he in federal is that why he gets moved from state to state? I don't think I could deal with that. Your pretty strong woman I must say!! Anyway, I hope everything else is going all right?

I also hope everyone else is doing all right as well? Not much else going on here right now. Just waiting to gt married to my best friend and soulmate.

(((HUGS))) to all!!


04-21-2005, 09:59 PM
Hi Spikeswife,

Nope, he's not federal - he's state, which is why we've all been up in arms over these transfers. Our guys owe time to WA., not Nevada, Colorado, Minnesota or anywhere else. Unfortunately, WA has found a cheaper way to house our inmates - ship them out of state. Most of them are now in the private prison system - CCA, which is generally not a good thing as these are for profit prisons - they're even on the stock market! Anyway, until WA builds another prison, there's no more room here. They've shipped out 500 state inmates over the last 2 years so far.

I'm so glad to hear things are moving smoothly for your marriage - finally - that's really exciting! So what does your dress look like? Will you be able to have family attend since it has to be on a Wed? Enjoy this process as much as you possibly can - you two deserve it!



04-22-2005, 05:17 AM
Good Morning Ladies,

I too, like most of you, haven't been around here in a while. Life has been hectic as usual; but for the most part it has been good. I graduated with my Master's degree a few months ago. I saw my hubby a few weeks ago and that was wonderful!

Spikeswife--Congratulations of your upcoming nuptials!!! I know how excited you must be.

Lise--Good to hear that all is well and the love is still strong!!! Our men are truly worth their weight in gold!

Venice--We get trailer visits in NY where my hubby is and I have to say that they have truly been the saving grace of our 13 year marriage. I honestly don't know if we would have made it this far without them, so I do know how you feel.

I am praying for his upcoming parole hearing in 2007. He is a 25-lifer so I know that this is truly all in God's hands.

Wishing everyone well!

Annette B.
04-22-2005, 05:25 AM
I know this started with my loved one incarcerated. Now it is about we. Thank you all for being here for everyone. We know we are not alone. Here is a link if I am allowed to share. United We Stand Divided we fall.
love to all

02-28-2006, 07:08 PM
Wow, I've just been reading letters here on all you ladies coping and I have to say thank you so very much! I am 2 1/2 years into a 20 yr sentence for my son and most days I feel I'll just lose my mind! I cry and cry and alot of praying but sometimes I just don't think I can make it another day. Your letters and this forum has been a wonderful inspiration to me. God bless all of u, and your loved ones that are missed. Thank u to All :)

03-23-2006, 09:43 PM
Things are crazy at the moment but everything is being talked through and worked out. But at the same time everything is great. I'm just ready to see him again.

03-28-2006, 10:05 PM
Today not so good for me. As far as my husband, I feel like we are distant. Lately he's not really talking to me. He says all the "I love you, blah, blah, blah..." but does not talk about what is really going on, you know? Or maybe you don't know. Well, I just am not into all that love stuff without real communication. Then we talked on the phone last night and he just stayed superficial. It just ticks me off. At times like this I just don't feel married and I wonder if I really want to do this. Times like this I think f*** it! f*** him! and just feel like ending things. OK, but that is not what I really want, just these times when we go through these distant phases are really tough.

Thanks all, just venting.

03-30-2006, 05:15 PM
{{HUGS}} Vent all you want thats what we are here for!

03-30-2006, 06:04 PM
Hang in there! I know that things can get rough and I am only going on eight months without my husband. I felt the same way that you feel right now. So I guess I lost it and flipped out on him, and even told him that if he was going to be so distant, that he should just stop calling until he was ready to talk about what was "really" going on....He hung up on me. Go figure I guess. But it wasn't long before he called back, stating that he needed to cool down before responding to my hurt feelings, for fear that he would just make things wrose.
He let me in on some very deep and personal feelings that I believe most of the men in there feel, if they have wives or girlfriends out here....
As much as they want to know, need to know and ask about what we have been doing to occupy our time...THEY DON"T REALLY WANT TO KNOW! I so did not get it! If you don't want to know, then don't ask, right?
Now that he is gone, I am left to take care of the house, work, finish going to school full time, and raise our three children by myself (ages 7, 3, & 5 months). So as you can imagine, I am so busy I don't have time to do anything that he would not approve of. Yet he gets mad at me, and withdrawls after I update him on all that has been going on out here. I guess that I just assumed that he would want to know so that he wouldn't feel un-involved. I was totally wrong. I guess that just hearing about what was going on, was being taken as a painful reminder of all that he is missing out on and naturally he gets more and more depressed as I ramble on about the kids and life in general. I am so glad that he shared with me that he was having such a hard time. I now share with him my dreams, my feelings and deep love for him, with constant reminders of the faithfulness of our Lord. If he asks about whats going on "in the world", I tell him the general stuff. It feels like we are in two totally different worlds, but our hearts are still connected, so I feel what he feels, and I know that he feels my pain too. It may be the same for you also. So just be patient with him and confront the situation before you grow apart or fall apart.

Here is the motto that I like to live by, I hope it helps you too....
When in doubt....Pray, because the Lord is always listening, even if He might not like what we have to say, He still loves us.

04-01-2006, 11:56 AM
Great motto!!

I always say " If God brings you to it , he will get you through it"