:) DOES EVERY ONE IN HERE GET 7 OR 8 PAGE LETTERS FRONT &BACK WITH ALL THIS WELL EDUCATED TALKING AND SO MUCH LOVE IN THE LETTERS IT JUST MAKES YOU WANT TO MELT. NOW THIS IS COMING FROM A MAN THAT HAS BEEN LOCKED UP FOR 10 YRS. I MARRIED HIM LAST NOVEMBER BUT I HAVE KNOWN 11 YRS. 10 OF THEM HE HAS BEEN DOWN. ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY OF COURSE THEY ARE GONNA WRITE LIKE THAT THATS ALL THEY HAVE TO DO. CAN ANYONE GIVE ME ADVICE THAT HAS GONE THROUGH THIS AND STAYED MARRIED? ANY ADVICE WILL HELP.......;)

My fiance just got sent to Florence-Eyman Prison in Florence, Arizona. I live in Phoenix,Az. He had been in county jail since May, so he wrote me letters and visited and on occasion i would accept a phone call. He always writes 8-9 pages front and back. Most of what he tells me is how sorry he is, how much he really loves and misses me. How he cant wait to be in my arms again and things like that. I believe every word he says, I have no reason not to. I dont think he just says things like that. I really think he is sincere. If you really love him you should give him the benefit of the doubt

I don't understand what you need help with

I receive letters from my Dave almost every day. They are usually 1-2 pages and very sweet. They make me fall in love more and more.

But I'm with Meme.. what is it that you need help with?

I GUESS IT'S NOT REALLY HELP I NEED MORE LIKE ADVICE. HE STILL THINKS I DOUBT HIM AND I HAVE TRIED IN EVERY WAY TO SHOW HIM I DON'T. I TOLD HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN I LOVE HIM. I AM SO INSECURE I GUESS HE ALSO THINKS THAT I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY OUT. HE SOUNDS LIKE HE IS INSECURE ALSO. I DON'T KNOW IT'S CRAZY..I'M ALREADY IN WITH HIS FAMILY ALTHOUGH THEY LIVE IN AUSTIN. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN HURT SO MANY TIMES I GUESS IT IS HARD TO ACCEPT THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY LUVS ME FOR ME. ANY ADVICE LET ME KNOW.................. BABYGIRL

:thumbsup: I GUESS IT'S NOT REALLY HELP I NEED MORE LIKE ADVICE. HE STILL THINKS I DOUBT HIM AND I HAVE TRIED IN EVERY WAY TO SHOW HIM I DON'T. I TOLD HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN I LOVE HIM. I AM SO INSECURE I GUESS HE ALSO THINKS THAT I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY OUT. HE SOUNDS LIKE HE IS INSECURE ALSO. I DON'T KNOW IT'S CRAZY..I'M ALREADY IN WITH HIS FAMILY ALTHOUGH THEY LIVE IN AUSTIN. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN HURT SO MANY TIMES I GUESS IT IS HARD TO ACCEPT THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY LUVS ME FOR ME. ANY ADVICE LET ME KNOW.................. BABYGIRL


Hi Babygirl-
I understand what you are talking about, but I just wanted to give you a little advice. If you reread what you wrote, on your original post, and listen to yourself, you may be able to see why he thinks you doubt him and are trying to find a way out. Maybe you shouldn't question his love for you, and his long letters that make you want to melt, but rather appreciate them. My ex bf was an ass, he never showed me affection, and my boyfriend now (the love of my life) shows me so much. It truly is a great thing, and you never know what your missing, and how much you will miss it, until it is gone, so be grateful that you have a man to show you, and don't doubt yourself, your love, or him and his, or you could possibly lose him. Whereas people saying "of course they are gonna write like that, its all they have to do", that is true. He is in prison, its not a happy place to be, he basically has no control over anything, except for his thoughts, and since he has you to think of, he can be in a happier place. And sharing his feelings is allowing him to do that. Giving him something positive to think about, rather than all the negative that surrounds him. Be Happy that you have him, dont let your insecurities get the best of you, and try to reassure him so his dont get the best of him. Keep in mind, that for each negative thing that happens there, a few positive thoughts of you are what gets him through. Part of being insecure is hearing positive things, but not always believeing them. So keep up with the reassurance you give him, as through time, the quantity (times you tell/show him you love him) may prove the quality (the strength and truth of your love). It is obvious to me that you love him, seeing as you have known him 11 years, 10 of those he has been locked up, and you are not only still there for him, but married to him. Keep making it obvious to him too. I don't know if any of this makes sense, as I said, i am no counselor, but I am responding hoping that maybe it helps at least a little. Remember, if you don't believe in yourself, how is anyone else supposed to believe in you? I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you.
Maybe I should take some of my own advice :p . It's amazing the clarity that comes with writing. Good Luck. :)

I know what you're friends are talking about. I sort of agree with it. Dre didn't know God when he was in the free world. Ever since his incarceration, he's been preaching the word, and he actually conducts the church service. Am I complaining, NO. I love it. Its a good thing. Don't trip about your man speaking intellectual with you. Its a good thing.

I'm with Dre's Lady! Its a good thing...smile...

Babygirl, sit back -- relax and enjoy the ride. I get letters like that from my husband almost on a daily basis. They are romantic love letters written on both sides of the paper and the last one I got yesterday was 37 pages. I love it -- and he loves writing to me like that.
Now the entire letter is not all roses. He also discusses important matters that need my attention or errands I need to run, or other information. But for the most part WE both make a habit of writing love letters to one another.
Love truly does make the world go round!!
You will be fine some of the ladies here gave you some excellent advice. Go for it!!
But even more importantly follow your heart.

I am not married to an inmate, but I have wrote friends on the inside for 20 or more years. I can tell you long letters are common, they spend alot of time contemplating thier past and future. My current penpal always writes at least 7 pages. He has the time and now someone to share his thoughts with. That he says is a very good thing for him. As for sounding educated most of them are,since they devote much time to reading and when it was possible to the study of legal matters. Contrary to popular belief,in society it has been shown that the inmate population in this country is not a majority of dummies, but instead contains many extremely intelligent men and women.They learn and increase thier knowledge on the inside, not because the state intends, but simply because something has to fill thier day.As for his insecurity,in my experience inmates have a hard time trusting anyone or anything. All control has been taken from them and the women they are so attracted to are in a world where they know others are attracted to them also. All you can do is try to reassure him, be patient and listen to your own heart in order to overcome your insecurities. A dear friend whose wife stood by him during a period of incarceration held her up as high as the angels for her devotion to him. Unfortunately, after his release the world was so difficult for him to make a living in the marriage did not survive. You have alot to consider and I recommend you do. You are undoubtly devoted to this man, so if you want your future to include him, make it known to him and the world and stand steadfast on it. And always be straight up, I have found nothing any inmate appreciates more than total avoidance of all the B.S. Try also, to involve him in your life in every way, as well.As crazy as it may seem, even my friends enjoy that I relate my day as we have did things. They are not here, but say it gives them a sense of being a part of the world and it assures them they are in my thoughts constantly, which they are. My main advice to you is consider how much of your doubt comes from within and how much is feedback from those around you. Had I chosen to listen to the others I would have missed out on precious friendships that have spanned decades, and the unique knowledge of the system and our society that they have passed on to me. The hardest thing we can do in our lives is completely follow our own heart without letting ourselves be swayed by the opinions of others. I have lost much because I failed to hear my spirit as it spoke in trying to guide me. I can tell you all the answers lie within yourself, if you only listen. God bless you and yours in your journey

37 pages????? wow, lucky lady! :)

My sunshine has problems holding a pen to write and is so embarrased about his writing anyway, yet he still managed 4 pages this last letter. I'm so proud of him.

But I'm with JenNicoal, just enjoy the ride.