View Full Version : Update about my son...and venting


strangeanimal
07-19-2004, 09:05 AM
I decided to see if I could set up a meeting with the worker, my son and myself. So she can explain to him, why she felt she needed to say "No" to my son to visit his dad, especially after he knew that he was going to see his dad. Her "No" came 10 days before we were supposed to visit.
So I called her up...and she gave me a bit of a song and dance, because our file is now closed, and just told me that she has to speak with her manager about it. I proceeded to tell her, that his anger is directed at me and he is getting violent, because he just wants to see his dad, and I had to say "No", he doesn't know that the "No" came from another person, that hasn't met him. So he is taking it out on me, So I thought it would be a good idea that he heard it from you, so he'll understand that it's not just mom saying "No", especially after we both been telling him it was a "Yes".
I just have the feeling that she will just say that she has talked to her manager, without doing so. I'm sorry about jumping to conclusions like that...but I have a strong feeling that, that is what she is going to do. She is under no obligation to do anything to help, since our file is closed.

I also told her...that there is a very strong chance that he is acting violent, because he thinks that if he is "bad enough" he'll get to go to jail and then he'll get to see his dad.
So I hope, that she is sincere and will help my son by explaining it to him, and not avoid it. So she is supposed to call me back today.

The file with them was only opened for 2 weeks....just long enough for her to have 1 meeting with me and then saying "No" for my son to visit his dad , then it was closed shortly afterwards. She doesn't realize the disruption, this caused...so I'm trying to make it real for them, like Hey it isn't all peachy keen here. I know they don't care...but I still want to draw their attention to it.

For instance she had written a closing letter for the file, about her thoughts on my situation. I didn't like how she worded things, and completely ignored valid points I was making in our one meeting. So I asked her to reword it, as I disagreed with what she had written....she agreed to re-write it, and word it better. She was then supposed to send me a revised copy....that was more then 6wks. ago. I have called her up about it, and she told me...that since my file is closed. I'm not a priority and she has to deal with her current cases first.
So this is why I don't feel she will help me with the suggestion of meeting with my son. She is simply not obligated to do so. I hope that I'm proven wrong.

gipsyrose
07-19-2004, 12:30 PM
Would it be possible for you to tell her that you're not satisfied with the way she has handled your case and that you would like her to refer you to someone else who may be more thorough? Write a letter and ask for it to be placed in your file. Explain to her that this situation needs to be followed up on and just one visit wasn't enough. Just be to the point and nice. It's YOUR family that needs the help and obviously she wasn't willing to give you the best care.
My son (7 yrs old) also has his moments of attention getting and sometimes acts up. It's a pain, but he doesn't like to be grounded, get his mouth washed out or stand in the corner either. If you'd like to talk privately about any of this, feel free to PM me, k?
Good Luck :)

AmyLynn
07-20-2004, 06:46 AM
can You Go Over Her Head And Talk To Her Boss And Explain The Problem To Him/her. Just Tell That Person What You Have Said Here. I Can't See Them Not Wanting To Help Cause You Are Trying To Stop This Befor It Gets Anymore Out Of Control.

mom
07-20-2004, 01:43 PM
What if you started with a certified letter sent to her detailing the time line of events and her lack of response and copied to her boss? Give it whatever time you think is appropriate. If her response (or lack of is inappropriate), then the boss has had a chance to review the contents of the letter (and perhaps even go so far as to look into it) before you call her boss directly. I think scheduling a meeting that would include her, the boss and you to review your matter is certainly reasonable.

haswtch
07-20-2004, 02:18 PM
Great advice, mom...as one might expect of a mom

Forever_Lovers
07-20-2004, 02:43 PM
Hello Strangeanimal,

Several others have already mentioned what I was going to suggest which is go over her head. I think sending a certified letter is a great idea. I would enclose a copy of the "closing file" letter and notate what I didn't agree with and write up a timeline of when I had spoke to the counselor and request a meeting. I really hope that something works out for you and your family. Is there another counselor you can see? If there is I would try to see them. Prayers are with you and your family always.

Shona`

strangeanimal
07-20-2004, 05:27 PM
Well I got a chance to talk to my worker this morning (she never called yesterday). She did another song and dance, about how she doesn't feel that it would help matters, and she tried to "pass the buck" and said maybe I should take him to counselling or other avenues...then have a meeting with her. I told her...since I work in customer service..we often deal with irate customers, about products and service. IF they are not satisfied and are still upset, the manager will come out and back-up what was said. I told her , that is all I want is back-up, so my son knows that it didn't come from me. So she reluctantly agreed to meet with us this Friday afternoon. I told her also that I'm writing a letter to be placed in my file, stating that I have asked you on 3 different occassions to re-write this letter, and it hasn't been done yet. She said...That she has to deal with her other cases first. I told her that it only takes less then 20 mins to have a letter retyped. She then told me...that she doesn't have a problem with me putting a letter in my file,stating that. Then she started whining about how she really can't see how it will help matters..blah, blah, blah. I was getting annoyed, so I cut her off and I told her, look we made the appointment. Ok ? It's over with. I'll see you on Friday.


I got home from grocery shopping and errands. She called back and left a message saying that, she won't be meeting with us on Friday and that my file is going to be reopened, and has told me that I have a new worker now.
So hopefully, this one will work with me.
Maybe I stressed her out!

gipsyrose
07-21-2004, 09:00 AM
She probly knew she was in the wrong with all this, and that's why you were 'passed on' to the other worker. Maybe it's a good thing and this other 'professional' will act as such. Even though they reopend your case, I'd still write something to have put in your file as a precaution, so the staff knows of the way the other worker acted. Like the others said, it'd be a good idea to let her boss know what had happened as well. It's part of their responsibility to provide care for their clients to the best of their ability. You were denied that even though you were continuing to ask for help. Shame on her.
Good Luck Friday and I hope you're happy with the new worker!! :)