My boyfriend talked to his Lawyer earlier this week and he informed him that he was going to put him on the stand and ask him some hard questions at his sentencing hearing. (2 weeks away) Questions like Why did you relapse and whats going to be different this time. Good Lord how does someone answer that, there was no "event" and being in recovery myself it took a year or so to even understand there was a reason for my drinking. I mean it takes awhile to connect the dots.... He is freaking out because he is afraid he will give the wrong answer when in reality there is no wrong answer, is there?

Lack of support can lead to relapse,maybe he could tell the judge he will make a set number of meetings a week and get an attendance list signed every time,he could join a church ,get a sponsor or see an outpaitent counselor every week,and these things can all be varified by his pre-trial officer.judges love a good support team and plan but he has to be sincere and really work with these people and stay clean.

Thats the problem, he has been in and out for the last 7 years, his sponser is a character witness. The only diference is he has never gotten is such big trouble before. he would pull himself out of it for about 9 months and then got back out. He wil;l have a good support team there though. The only thing I was thinking that would help is that he has never had long term treatment.

Hi Grace, does he submit to random drug screens?You may be right,long term treatment is the best way to beat relapse.But I'm assuming he stopped giong to meetings?

That is the pattern, he stays sober 9 months, starts again in November, comes back to the group in february. like clock work. He is the real Jeckel & Hyde. Gets built back up, gets a job, gets a place to live, starts seeing his daughter again then gone........

Seems like he's gotten comfortable in this pattern,something has to be done to break this pattern up.Maybe he knows he can keep doing this because its worked for so long.You said he is in trouble.what kind? You may need to make him see that you will not be there for him if he relapses again,no matter what you can't keep doing this.your life keeps getting put on hold because of his behaviour,and I know the stress is terrable.You will never be able to progress in life if he dosn't work with you and keeps setting you both back.

He was arrested for aggrivated robbery, probably the best thing that ever happened to him. I just started dating him a year ago but he broke up with me and he went back out. Not my fault definately. We got close again when he got arrested. He know I have over 3 yrs in the "program" and don't play with it. I just hope for his sake he gets the help he needs. For the record though it was an unloaded bb gun so no intent of harming anyone but because of the preceived threat it is charged as aggrivated.

Sounds like he's on a bad road,I hate to say it but there's nothing there but jails, institutions and death.I've been clean for over a year now but may be going to prison for making a machine gun,just a novalty,but a so-called friend got busted for drugs and turned me in to get a sentence reduction.but since my arrest I've overcame a 19 year marijuana addiction( i'm 35),and getting arrested is the best thing that has happened to me ,my life was at a stand-still but now I see a future.I'm not married,no kids and have my whole life ahead of me,I may have to do 2 years or I may get probation for extraordinary rehabilitation efforts,I'll know in a few months but either way its all good,I'll still have my house,truck,and job waiting for me when I get home.I'm a little sad it had to come to this but I'm glad for the chance to do more with my life and I think that anybody should be able to see that after the inital shock of the change wears off.A person has to be taken out of there life completely to make a complete change.Its hard but worth it,I don't have to tell you that, if you've got 3 years clean you know what I'm saying.

when will you find out?

Sometime in september,I already went in for sentencing and it looks like the judge is going to grant a downward departure but postponed the verdict until he could determine how much of a reduction he could give me.He said he had never allowed one before because he had not seen anyone put forth enough effort to warrent one.My guidline range is 24-33 months but my lawyer is requesting a departure to a level of probation with house arrest.So its now all up to the judge.

Good Luck!!!!