I'm just asking out of curiousity. Since my man has been sentenced last September...my 6yr.old son has gotten more abusive. Today he beat me up downtown on the streets, kicking, punching, biting, scratching and he drew blood. He did all this because he didn't want to leave the library and I said Hello to someone, and that's when he started, grabbing and pinching me. Then he got stubborn and refused to walk with me, usually I wait til he's ready, but it was taking longer then usual. So the violent behaviours started. He has bit me before, he has punched and kicked a few times....but this time was a full blown attack. I usually ground him to his room/ I'll take his bike away from him for a week. I always tell him that he has to talk and tell me what he is feeling, so he doesn't get mad like that. He says that he will...but he doesn't.
This time I'm shaken up..I'm hurt. I have taken his toys away from him, all bagged up. He's in his room singing, that he misses his dad.
When we arrived home, I got a call from my daughters counsellor...she wanted more info...I told her about my son, as I wanted him to be seen as well...she just told me not to take it personally.
I feel crappy...and today is my birthday

Boy I sure don't know... lots of kids just go through these phases (especially when they're stressed out) and get over it. The counselor is probably right. Unless it keeps happening, I'd say he's just frustrated and taking it out on you.

I hope your birthday gets better. (((hug))) :)

yeah, but how much more do I have to take...it's been accelating. This time was the first time he has done a full-blown attack, complete with calling me names. His behaviour started off, with a few kicks, then next time a couple of punches, few bites. It has been progressing steadily to now a full-blown attack. I don't like being hit, bit, kicked, punched or told to go to Hel*, and I'm a piece of Sh*t. I don't want to pass it off as frustration...because it now has become a habit with him,when he is angry. It's hard to break out of bad habits, if it's not caught in the bud.
His dad told me to give him a good spanking and the shock will stop him. I have done that and he turns it into a fist fight, so now he'll hit me no problem, when he is angry. I try to get him to talk or draw pictures about what made him mad. He will after he is calmed down, then he gets really lovey-dovey, and snugglely afterwards.
But I gotta find out somehow how to help him deal with his anger when he is angry.

I agree, if he keeps it up, it ain't good and you are right to draw the line! Yeah, nipping it in the bud is the hard part... I hope things gets better.

I agree that you were right to talk to your daughter's counselor about your son's behaviour. It's not usual for kids to do that much at that age for no reason. Yes, kids do act out what they see. I think you're on the right track. Keep us posted!



Happy Birthday!!



I'm just asking out of curiousity. Since my man has been sentenced last September...my 6yr.old son has gotten more abusive. Today he beat me up downtown on the streets, kicking, punching, biting, scratching and he drew blood. He did all this because he didn't want to leave the library and I said Hello to someone, and that's when he started, grabbing and pinching me. Then he got stubborn and refused to walk with me, usually I wait til he's ready, but it was taking longer then usual. So the violent behaviours started. He has bit me before, he has punched and kicked a few times....but this time was a full blown attack. I usually ground him to his room/ I'll take his bike away from him for a week. I always tell him that he has to talk and tell me what he is feeling, so he doesn't get mad like that. He says that he will...but he doesn't.
This time I'm shaken up..I'm hurt. I have taken his toys away from him, all bagged up. He's in his room singing, that he misses his dad.
When we arrived home, I got a call from my daughters counsellor...she wanted more info...I told her about my son, as I wanted him to be seen as well...she just told me not to take it personally.
I feel crappy...and today is my birthday

this is only my 2 cents..so take it at that. As a mother of a 16yr old son that was a very angry little boy...TAKE CONTROL out of his hands. He does this acting out to gain control (most do anyway). I'm not one for physical punishment BUT sometimes a belt on their behind can do a world of good. It always worked for us. Worked the best if I Gave him his spanken' BEFORE his behavoir got out of control

Good luck

I don't promote using a belt, but a SWAT on the bum can be a very good attention-getter.



this is only my 2 cents..so take it at that. As a mother of a 16yr old son that was a very angry little boy...TAKE CONTROL out of his hands. He does this acting out to gain control (most do anyway). I'm not one for physical punishment BUT sometimes a belt on their behind can do a world of good. It always worked for us. Worked the best if I Gave him his spanken' BEFORE his behavoir got out of control

Good luck

I have given him a good smack on the bottom...not a tap. He sees it as a challenge "That didn't hurt" complete with eyes rolling up to the ceiling and he retailiates...So do I keep smacking him on the bottom? I don't think so! It's not getting the results I thought it would. I don't think I should go toe-to-toe with a 6yr.old. It's not the right answer for him.
Today...I told the babysitter about the problem ,so he was grounded at their place til I was done work. He refused to talk to them, when asked why he did what he did. They get the impression...that my son has the attitude "I don't care" and shrugs everyone off. But we all seem to think...that this is his way, of getting a chance to see his dad...If he is "Bad" enough he'll go to jail and get to see his dad.
He can't see his dad...because the CAS said "No" and they said it 10 days before we all planned for him to see his dad in prison. My son was approved by the prison, so we made plans. My son knew he was going to see his dad and was very excited, then the bomb dropped 10 days before. He was supposed to see him May 22nd. It was also around his birthday too. So I can see why and how he was crushed. I did expect him to blow-up and be angry and have an attitude...but I didn't expect to be the brunt of it.

Gosh...I think your going on the right track. Your thinking about the things that are probably getting him fustrated. I think it would mostly be he couldn't see his father when it was planned and he was all worked up for it. I hope he gets to see him soon. He probably hates the fact that everyone else gets to see him except for hisself. If spankin or anything else doesn't work, then I would try to make him sit down and talk or just let him be and get it out of his system. I really don't know what to say. Your having it hard with him. Does he get to talk to his father on the phone atleast? If so then I would have his father talk to him and see what his problem is. Hes takin all this anger out on you, he needs to get into a hobby playing sports or something to relieve some of the anger and fustration. I wish you the best of luck with this, I hope you can get him to calm down. I hope you tried to have a Good birthday, Happy birthday by the way. God bless and take care!!!

I used spanking mostly only as a last resort. My daughter wouldn't be spanked anyway, so I HAD to get more creative with her to dispense logical/natural consequences.

I think you're on the right track with identifying him as an angry child. Just love him up and get him whatever help you think he needs.

Make personal time for you too. You're important too. You've got to be the mum, but you've got to be there for you too.

Please let us know how you're all doing, okay? :love:

I have given him a good smack on the bottom...not a tap. He sees it as a challenge "That didn't hurt" complete with eyes rolling up to the ceiling and he retailiates...So do I keep smacking him on the bottom? I don't think so! It's not getting the results I thought it would. I don't think I should go toe-to-toe with a 6yr.old. It's not the right answer for him.
Today...I told the babysitter about the problem ,so he was grounded at their place til I was done work. He refused to talk to them, when asked why he did what he did. They get the impression...that my son has the attitude "I don't care" and shrugs everyone off. But we all seem to think...that this is his way, of getting a chance to see his dad...If he is "Bad" enough he'll go to jail and get to see his dad.
He can't see his dad...because the CAS said "No" and they said it 10 days before we all planned for him to see his dad in prison. My son was approved by the prison, so we made plans. My son knew he was going to see his dad and was very excited, then the bomb dropped 10 days before. He was supposed to see him May 22nd. It was also around his birthday too. So I can see why and how he was crushed. I did expect him to blow-up and be angry and have an attitude...but I didn't expect to be the brunt of it.

Spare the "rod" HATE the child.
It's in the Bible. Go look. It does not say spoil the child. It says HATE the child. Discipline him now or he WILL get worse.

Miss One I could not have said it better. I talk first then after that it's war on that fanny. NO more problems after that.

IM SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT. ITS HARD. EXPECIALLY COMING FROM YOUR CHILD. I THINK HES ACTING OUT BECAUSE OF HIS FATHERS ABSENCE. I THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA ABOUT THE COUNSELING. WE TEND TO TAKE THINGS OUT ON THE PEOPLE WE LOVE THE MOST. I WISH YOU LUCK AND STRENGTH.

Rather than hit/spank, can you hold him? Sit on him if necessary; don't hurt him but DON'T LET HIM HURT YOU. And just stay calm and keep talking calm like you would to a scared horse, calm but firm, telling him he has to use his words and not his hands. Not to sound mean, but try to break through that shell (with words) and get him to cry, then you can cuddle and talk. Every time he hits you and gets away with it, it increases the guilt he feels- if you "win" by hitting him, it just increases the sense of injustice he feels. Good luck- hugs- I know how hard it can be. I had to do this to my son many times. Don't be afraid to go head-on at what you think is bugging him; remember he's just a kid and you are a grownup.

Exactly Haswtch....I notice that a good spanking doesn't work, and he does see it as a sense of injustice, and retailates back. I agree with getting him to use his words, not his fists...and to try to break through his shell, and get him to cry. Even now 3 days afterwards, he still can't tell me why he attacked me. This time he has a thick wall put up around him.

Bunny: War on the fanny! then no problems...maybe you didn't read my posts, but he retailiates back!, so I keep fuelling attacks on his butt? When should it stop? When I have his butt bruised? bleeding and raw?....a good smack on his bottom isn't getting the results I thought it would. So really I got more problems from spanking him...it didn't go away, and it has escalated. So what do you mean no more problems? Please explain...as I don't know if you are suggesting I didn't do it hard enough?, long enough?

I was also thinking of making an appointment with the Children's Aid worker, who told me "No" about my son visiting his dad, so SHE can be the one to tell him, and explain why she had said "No" and he'll see that I wasn't the one that said "No". What do you all think?

taking Him To See The Worker That Said No Might Help The Problem But From What I Have Come To Understand That Kids Are Going To Take Things Out On The One That Is Not Going Away No Matter What!!!!! Your Son Knows That You Are Not Leaving Him!!! He Needs Help To Understand Why He Is Acting Liking This. Maybe He Can't Tell You Why He Acts Out Like Cause He Don't Know Why Eitheir! I Wish You The Best Of Luck In Finding The Right Answers For The Two Of You!!!