My girlfriend's cousin (almost like a brother to her) was just arrested again and looks like he will be going back to prison (only after a couple weeks out after a 5 year sentence). She is devastated and I've been searching for the right words to help her, and support her. I wasn't around the 1st time he went to prison, so I don't know what it was like before.

I was wondering, does anyone have any advice on what I should say or do to help her out? Its hard for me to understand what she is going through, and I seem to be saying the wrong thing to her every time I try to help, and she is getting very upset with me.

What helped, or would've helped you guys when your love one was incarcerated? Is there any reading that you can suggest? Any suggestions would be helpful. I really care about her a lot, and want to support her
the best that I can.

Just support her in her caring for him and not judging him just by this, but validating the good that is in him. Don't make her feel wrong for caring. And send her here!

From my own perspective (and keep in mind that this may be totally wrong for HER), I just want someone to listen. Hold my hand, give me a hug, look at me when I talk, etc. I usually just want to "sound off" and feel like someone gets what I'm saying. I don't want to feel like the other person has a better way or can fix me.

It sounds like this is going to be really tough for her, and she is definitly going to need to know that she is loved and that she is strong enough to get through it. She did it before and got through it. This time she has support and just knowing that is going to be huge for her. So just remind her that you care.

That's my 2 cents worth :)

It helps me talking with others in the same boat, and also I don't want to hear anything negitive about my loved one.And probably just someone to listen.

These suggestions are all great. By just letting her know your there for her when she's ready is a big help. You need to let her go through the process and be there to pick her up when she's down. Maybe the best thing to say is nothing at all.

From my own perspective (and keep in mind that this may be totally wrong for HER), I just want someone to listen. Hold my hand, give me a hug, look at me when I talk, etc. I usually just want to "sound off" and feel like someone gets what I'm saying. I don't want to feel like the other person has a better way or can fix me.
Great advice Freckldgrl, I think most women would be receptive to that. Let us know how your girlfriend is doing Bob.