I got a letter from my husband today. He wrote the usual things, you know requests...call his lawyer, stay by his side stay strong, write to him and how much he misses me. He said that he didn't know if he could hold on if he had to do 7 years but he has no choice. He's not in prison yet, on his way in a few months but he's trying to go to a drug rehab instead of prison. They offered this to him once before but he refused because he couldn't have any contact with anyone for 6 months. He said that he would try to hold on but it was hard and he could not see himself being able to do 7 years. Just needed to vent so thanks to whoever actually read this.

Melissa,
I hope that all goes well. 7 years is a long time and it would be hard for anyone. Hopefully everything works out for the both of you. You guys are in my prayers.
Jamie

Thanks Jamie for the support! I am praying for him as well.

MELISSA- WE ALL GENERALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DO FAR MORE THAN WE EVER THOUGHT WE COULD-I HOPE HE DOES NOT GET 7 YEARS BUT IF HE DOES HE CAN MAKE IT, AND SO CAN YOU! WE ARE HERE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!

melissa, i know it's hard...i hope it doesn't turn out to be seven years, but if it does, you can take it one day at a time...we'll be here...

emme

MELISSA WE ARE HERE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.IT MAY SEEM LIKE THINGS ARE BAD BUT JUST HANG IN THERE IT WILL GET BETTER.IF YOU NEED ANYTHING WE ARE HERE.YOURE FAMILY IS IN OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

Hang in there. I've been doing the prison system thing for over 15 years and a possible 5 more. I hear women complain all the time that "he better get out soon", they have 2 or 3 years of waiting in. I laugh!!!! They have no Idea what real waiting is. The way to do it is not look at it as years. Take it one day at a time/ Get through this day and only this day. time and years pass faster than you think. Pray and occupy your time with hobbies. Don't give in to temtations and stay out of situations that would tempt you to do things that you would not want to do if you were together. You can get through it. I have. I'm not saying it is easy. But if your only getting through today, today is not hard. Only look at today and no other days. The years pass fast. You look back and say it hardly seems it has been that many years. There are also thoughts That I have given up a lot of liveing my own life to wait. But he is my love and worth waiting for. I get through these thoughts and stay strong. You also have well meaning family and friends that try to help by adviseing you to get a boyfriend on the side or play mate while you wait. ignore their advice and stay true to him if you love him. Most women can not last the years and start playing around and soon break up with their inmate. There is no place to be alone and cry in there. There is no place to hurt in there. So many inmates are devistated by loseing there loved ones on the out side. If they are heard crying others can use that moment of weakness against them. Making their life more hell then it already is. women out here get lonly and find other lovers and are there no longer for him. If you love him stay true and wait. One day at a time.

just hang on to what the two of you have. I am doing that with my wife, she has done 16 months, we got 45 months to go. You can do it!!!!! Steve&kids

I have to agree with what everyone else said. Just take it one day at a time. Stay strong and you'll both get through this.
keep the faith
Nancy (nanuu)

Thanks for all the support and really good advise everyone. It means so much to both me and my husband. I've found that it does help to take it one day at a time and it also helps being here where people are going through the same thing as me and I don't feel so alone. Thanks again!

Melissa,

One of your best friends through this ordeal will be the love that you have for this man. His love for you will be his strength too. Cherish this love and it will grow. Yes, it will be difficult some days and some weeks, but if the love is there you will find your way and so will he.

Keep strong and face the challenge head on. Don't hide, don't run, don't deny your feelings - hit them head on and deal with what has been dealt. You both will find the way.

We are here for you to support you in your hard time and your good times.

Keep strong!

Melissa,
You can do it, like everyone else has said you have to deal with it and take it one day at a time. It is a grieving process, even though they are still here, they are not with you. Anytime you lose someone you grieve, and that is a very hard and personal process to go through, you just have to do whatever it takes to get through it. Your love for your husband and family will get you through.
Take care of yourself.
Deb

To the both of you,
Together, you two can make it. I've been going through it for over 16 years, so I know how it feels.
Sherry

I just wanted to jump in with everyone else and say stay strong. Love is a action to be shown and sometimes it is tough to show but stay strong and stay with friends, family, and of course us here on PTO LOL to help you go through it so you don't feel like you are barely holding on.

Melissa,
I met my man three years ago. I didn't know him
before he was incarcerated but was introduced to him
by a mutual friend. I've never been able to share
close intimate times with him, just supervised nerve
wracking visits in a prison visiting room. Despite all
the restrictions and awkward times, we've become
closer than I think we ever would have been on the
outside. Our love and friendship is strong enough
now to weather any storm. This whole process has
also brought out the best in me. I'm trying to become
the best I can be and do things for the right reasons.

Even though this wait might seem unbearably long, accept
whatever happens and try to become strong through it.
He can do the same. It's probably easy for me to say
this because I've never spent one day behind bars but
I know that the human spirit is strong and can rise
to any occassion.

Hang in there and find the opportunity in whatever comes.

Moon

Melissa,

I know its hard and im going through the same thing, my man has until December 2008, just love him and be there for him. I pray that the time goes by fast. I look forward to the weekends just so I can see him and be with him. Hang in there he needs you.

De De

Not sure how long u were 2gether or if kids, but if u knew u were ridin w a gangster& u enjoyed the good times the right thing to do is ride it out as long as long as u can.Sometimes just some mail, money, & photos is enough.:cool:

Just to note...
This thread is 7 years old.
The OP hasn't been on PTO since June 2003.