Ok, Pam had made a suggestion about writing to our loved ones to see about a 'view' from the inside. I had actually printed off that thread and mailed it to Dale.
I received a response from him Saturday and am now going to post it. Let me first explain something though...
He decided to write about the food and nutrition aspect of where he is. Several months ago, it was thought that he would be put on a special diet, but it never happened.... You'll understand what I'm talking about once you read his letter.
Wouldn't you know my friggin' scanner is messed up, so I have to type the whole thing.... lol... Here goes:

To all the PTO members,
Well it would appear that I've been nominated and/or invited to give my personal perspectives regarding the Deparment of Corrections and a whole variety of topics; from the treatment of guards to visitation and a whole laundry list of topics. I've selected "food quality" of the lack there of. Instead of complying with the request for various perspectives, I would much rather be informative. To me, perspectives are like assholes, everybody has one.

Recently I've learned that I have a few health problems. One of the more serious health issues I'm suffering with is a protein deficiency. Around 11 months ago I weighed 178 pounds... I now weigh 147 pounds. The doctors claim my health issues are do to genetics and a very high metabolism rate. However, since the doctor hasn't tested my metabolism rate, nor does he know my genetic profile, I can resoundingly say with confidence that the doctors are guessing or attempting to sheild a much larger and sinister health issue!

I'm muscular and I do occassionally do calisthenics in my cell. I've lost 30 pounds of muscle, not fat! I've been locked in a cell for 23 hours a day for nearly 7 years now. It's only been in the last 11 months that I have developed these health issued. Even now, my muscles are well defined and otherwise physically fit. Yet on the outside I'm a "fat" greasy pig. I'm a see food lover.... I see food, I eat it! I'm always hungry and my tummy is always growling for attention.

In the free world, I rarely would eat more than 1 or 2 meals a day. In here, I eat 3 meals a day, plus anything else I can get my sticky paws on. Since i basically have nothing physically demanding to do all day other than lay around or sit on my tush, it's fair to say I'm not burning off any calories. There are atleast 5,000 inmates (in Michigan) who are locked in cells 23 hours a day, every day. I have noticed there are hardly any plump men! Only the men who can afford to regularly eat commissary items actually gain any weight. By all rights, most of these men should be very plump because they basically do NOTHING all day... other than pass gas! When I revealed my observations to the doctor, he said inmates are lean and trim do to national dietary guidelines, which all Correctional facilities must adhere to in order to maintain the health of the collective inmate population. I then asked, "What about me, hmm?" "Why am I suffering with health problems when I mainly only eat the meals provided to me? I should be super healthy if the national nutritional guidelines are being followed and 'if' those guidelines are correct!" That's when he changed the subject to genetics and metabolism rate.

In 7 years I've never seen bacon or white bread. We rarely have 'real' mashed potatoes, eggs, ground beef or pork. Occassionally, on holidays, we'll have real mashed potatoes instead of the powdered ones. Who knew there were powdered eggs anyway? When we're served hamburgers, the meat is 50% beef and 50% filling... otherwise known as plain bread mixed with beef-base to give it a beefy flavor. Nearly half of all the main dishes that are fed to us are either processed, freeze dried, or synthetic versions. So even though dietary standards are in place, the dietitians approving the food inventories are failing to consider the actual nutritional value. For example: When the national menu for the state of Michigan calls for 2oz. of beef for lunch on a certain day, the dietitians select a processed beef patty. Though the patty may weigh 2oz. after cooking it, there's only 1oz of beef. Why? Because the other half of it is bread filling.

I do praise the Department for attempting to make meals more aesthetically pleasing, and for offering variety... But I also realize that processed meals are more cose effective! Essentially the Department didn't 'intentionally' provide a variety of choice meals... but rather to save money. It's no mystery that a homemade burrito would cost alot more than a whole pack of 6 burritos from the frozen food section. The Department has only realized the money saving potential of buying mainly processed food items, but has failed to calculate nutritional value. So is the doctor correct... am I just genetically flawed? Hmmm...

Jodygirl's stud muffin,
Dale



Oh, by the way.. this is a shortened version. Dale said when he first wrote this letter, it was over 3 pages down. SO, he went back and edited it to make it short and concise.
So there is what Dale had to say...

Jodygirl

Thanks Jodygirl and Dale for sharing what is happening and your perspectives. I'm sorry to hear the lack of attention Dale is getting, that would be very frustrating to know something is obviously wrong, but have no access to legitimate medical attention to diagnosis or explain what is happening. I so hope that Dale will find the answers in whatever manner he can.

Again, thanks for sharing and I did here from Vic and a letter is on the way and I'll post it here.

Anyone else receive letters??... Please post them here!


Pam

Help---my husband is writing pages and pages. Do we want them all on here? He's written about the facility, visits, food, medical, telephones, quartermaster, and personal property allowed.

Deb

Of course Deb...I think it will be interesting to read and I bet it's good for them to write about it!

Good luck on the typing...ha ha...if it get's too long for one post, just separate them into different posts!

Jodygirl,

Many thanks to you & Dale. this was very enlightening. In California prisons, & Orange County jail, the food is all right. It's institutional food, but everyone who does time gains weight. They actually feed us fairly well. It isn't great, but after hearing things like this, I can see how lucky I was. ----Ken

jody, thank you to you and dale from lee and myself...he is so looking forward to reading the stories of others and so am i...he's busily working away on his, too, and i'm afraid i'm gonna have a lot of typing to do...sorry dale has to deal with such crap. :(

Jody

thank you for typing, and thank you to Dale for writing ! I'm sorry to hear he has so many problems and no one really cares !!! Joey told me about beef patty once. I didn't exactly know what it was, but thanks to Dale, I've got a better idea now.
Thanks again for sharing Jody.
All the best to you and Dale
Philippe

Pam, I've got a letter from Joey today, he was speaking of you !!! :) I quote
"Yes my Frenchy, I will write to PTO and Pamela and share my thoughts on prisons and COs, it will be in my next letter, and of course I would like to know of any response ok ?"
So hopefully, I'll have to type soon, I don't have a scanner !!

Richards Letters are about his life inside. This is not addressed to PTO but to me but I woulld like to share it with you. He has expressed wanting to publish DOC experience on the internet. So I think he would not mind that I share his letter with all/

Dear Torrey,
Just a follow up note to tell you that I spoke with my unit Manager Cotton concerning the Indigency status as far as the x-mas pkg is and he did not know but said he would hollar at the wardin about it. But suspected that he would follow DOC Policy that where fines are owed any money orrder xmas pkg or not would be seized to pay against the debt owed.

Phil,

I'm looking forward to hearing from Joey as well as all the others who respond...and of course he'll hear and read all the responses~~cause I know that you will print them and send them to him.:p

He's on the Christmas list, isn't he? Well I'll be sending a card off to him soon too!

Wow, that is heart breaking. I have had to go hungry before and I know it is an uncomfortable thing. But to do it for 7 years is unthinkable.

Well let me post that again.
Richard is a perfectionsit in spelling a grammer and I am a awful typist. I tried to fix my typos and it took too long to make corrections. I still think the 30 minute law is NOT long enough to edit our post on here.

So I will post again.

Richards Letters are about his life inside. This is not addressed to PTO but to me but I would like to share it with you. He has expressed wanting to publish DOC experience on the Internet. So I think he would not mind that I share his letter with all/

Dear Torrey,
Just a follow up note to tell you that I spoke with my unit Manager Cotton concerning the Indigence status as far as the x-mas pkg is and he did not know but said he would hollar at the warden about it. But suspected that he would follow DOC Policy that where fines are owed any money order xmas pkg or not would be seized to pay against the debt owed.
Second Only one of the categories can be ordered per individual so hopefully If you accomplish this they will select the HOL-4 section for $17.00. As long as the funds sufficient they might put balance on his canteen draw so he (celly)can order us some snack crackers. Regular canteen purchase they sell a 5.00 beef summer sausage for $1.00 and occasionally we dice one to micro wave then mix it with 90 cent can of chili. That mixture is good with Nacho chips after a spoon of cheese is added to bond it. Ramon soups are 15 cents Variety flavors
If you send me a MO that by chance is not accepted if late he will order what we need. . We make meals together . He shares with me. He has contributed to a great deal of my present weight by planning dinners at 9:30 pm. as count clears before lock-down at 10:45 pm. If he prepares the meal I do the dishes or vise versa. We take turns cleaning house. during the week or I specifically do it while he is gone to visit. Then is when I change my bed sheets and wash them by hand scrubbing and by scalding them, wringing, drying them by direction high beam of my vornado fan. Individually I have only one set. He has a paid laundry man who does his and returns them folded packed into a mesh bag in tight compact and he has a tissy fit should any one spill anything on it. Or sit on it in general. I do set on his bed but I don't lounge or kick back on it.

He is a pretty nice person not taken for granted he has a mean streak to the core. Smaller than I am he is strong for his weight and co-exists with about 36 varied Hispanics and two home boys South side Locos' that he grew up with since elementary school here in this yard. I previously met , know, 2 south side Locos (2nd generation) from Joseph's Harps both were very close friends of mine and always will be. When Arriving here determining him too be South side Loco or gangster I showed him 2 of his homies in my photo album . Their gang was most original Hispanic Gang in OKC south west side vicious respected serious and can orchestrate hits. He has 2 homies on death row OKLa. St. Prison and other bonafide neighborhood brothers in every Institution in the state. They are very forceful.

They bang on site with every enemy gangs member as new arrivals come here. There is nothing controlled at CCF , in contrast to South side Locos a recent fall out at Granite involved the stabbing of 5-6 men over a pound of marijuana continuation of that has resulted in now the second stabbing incident at the Walls OSP. The latest word the target lost one eye and had almost 40 holes in him. from three LOCOS stabbers. It's as the wind blows word travels and all that needs to be said is "GET THAT FOOL" and it shall be done. I truly don't have to sweat an order to hit me because they are not my enemies and I've put in my share of La Raza work myself. I can be never inducted because I didn't grow up in their hood 25th sw okc.

The Locos on this yard all have shooting convictions with 45's and have partnered up in the past jobs and know each others backgrounds inescapably are not snitches There are no LOCO snitches all are prided honorable without exceptions even their home-girls and their children So it is a healthy support group in or out of prison. There is a sizeable responsibility in my celly and therefor he identifies all persons who might or would creep on him. then I am on guard also.

Inside prison everyone concern is mainly seeing who can score the best meth or best weed. Notice the word emphasis "best" that is the way I define it the population body is some I just hadn't define it. It's probably 2:00Am Friday I better sign off now. Maybe next time get into some deep subjects on what exactly my plans are, how I feel , what demeanor I have , expectations and perhaps elaborate that way we both know how precise close I am to reality that encompasses life regardless of where I spent the past twenty plus calender years.

I'm thinking right now and really we are communicating as best we can. I don't know - to expect you want to see me less or more. To write me less or more and I never trip over things I cannot control -and what dominion that leaves me i.e zoning here-
My 3rd application for Vo-Tech went through I'm now on the waiting list for the computer class which is 2 years . I wish I were special I wanna have control. I wanna perfect body, I wanna perfect soul ---what the hell am I dong here--I don't belong here
Do you know that song? Sounds like Bono of U-2
"What ever makes you Happy, whatever you want"

Later,
Richard

Thanks Torrey for sharing Richard's letter. All I could say was WOW when reading it.

I guess I always hope that the stabbings and 'getting' other people would not be so prevalent as one thinks. But sadly, I'm thinking this is to be more truer than not.

I liked his way of making his meals/snack more interesting. One really has to be creative huh?!

Pam

Torrey thanks for sharing !!!

It's amazing, food seems to be a great concern !!! Dale speaks of food, and Richard start his letter speaking of food !!
Something strikes me in Richard's letter: he has one set of sheets wash them himself and dry them by the fan !!! It sounds crazy to me !!! Once again we can see prison life is like outside life, people are not equal !!! Richard's celly has a paid laundry man !!

Wow these letters are all very interesting, can't wait to read other ones !!!

Another letter arrived today.

Dear Torrey,
I received your nice letter. It was a relief to hear from you and that you hadn't left. I stay so low in a state of un knowledge, uncertainty, and what ever else, that I know not to expect anything from even a single individual. That sucks I know but it is such a struggle too keep doing this time-especially if /when I have nothing to look forward to except dying. That if for nothing else is why I take a few puffs on a joint- because it lifts my spirits to where I'm not so down in the dumps.
I watched a new movie that I liked very much. I guess I can say that -It's my new favorite. "The COUNT of Monte Cristo". I really liked it. Now if you'll allow your sub conscience to watch it you'll see where I'm at. Feel me in it. It's like I'm tired of being whipped, chained down, and I'll go to great extents to get my enemies or the persons who caused these sufferings.
I used my last stamps to write Rep. State of OKA. Jim Glover (D) Elgin. I sure hope he gets it. He is out of Legislature his last term I'm so put out with him I just wanted to speak my mind to him and let know I'‘m not scared of his power wealth fame, or insensitivities. Someone confronted him in 1984 about early release for me and he told them, "If it had anything to do with drugs or alcohol that I had not served enough time." Of course - I agreed. But that was almost 20 years ago. Plus there is a new switch to the story. He had babies, little kids, elementary wealthy kids.

There was a dude here from Elgin (I didn't tell him how I learned) Someone very familiar with Jim Glover State Rep's son Jamie. Anyway police of Elgin got on to a new Silverado pickup which was stolen , no tags, and he chased him. Long enough to visually see Jamie Glover driving it. He eluded the police and ran straight home to his Daddy's house where he has his own brand new house . (behind his dads) on their land. The police saw the stolen pickup disappear behind the Sr's home. So he stopped and went to the door to tell the Sr. that he chased his son Jamie in a stolen pickup. The SR. said "He was a liar" and "Let's go prove this right
now."

Sr. And Sheriff walked together to the back of the boys garage, double doors and when he pulled up the garage doors a huge bellow of smoke rolled out. The gasses off a fresh batch of methamphetamine, where an active meth lab was blowing off steam. And not one but two stolen brand new Silverado pickups were stored.

So everyone in the house went to jail however the legislator's son, refused to dress out in an orange suit. He said, "he wasn't going to be there long enough." and that the Sheriff and his dad were having a little meeting" In a while the Sr. showed up with the Sheriff and pulled the son out. They did have a little meeting and the Legislator released all person in the house also "NO charges filed and from my source new batches of meth were being processed before the week was out. So I said funny how shit goes full circle your know and I quoted you told me sir, that if my case had anything to do with drugs or alcohol that I hadn't done enough time. He had toddlers when I left. His kids grew up and cook the best meth in town. They stole new Silverados to sell and pay the cost of meth materials. I quote the name of one of the guys that was in the house during the bust. And I quoted "NO charges Filed"

Then I told him that I recently wrote an Oka. Senator ten pages of how this is not a 407 million dollar industry when there is 23,000 inmates in Oklahoma. I expressed several ways they are keeping double set of books. I expressed to the Senator that I need his help and I gave him my case numbers in federal court and I asked him to call the circuit court Executive Elisabeth Shumaker and Demand my Discovery Motion 1-10.

I saw a little thing on TV about Amsterdam and they were smoking some pretty buds. I sure would like to visit there. I have for a long time,. It's not about trying to smoke up everything in sight . It's about being there and feeling everyone's liberty to do as they please. That's my joy.

The nephew of a coworker went so far to say "He'd stab me by Thanksgiving" He was not on the yard Thanksgiving he was in segregation- of the devil's accord- with two class X MCR- facing charges. I know a dude that got 85 years for a prison made knife from Stringtown and I was oh so tempted to not only make one there but always tempted too use it. I pleaded with my home boy to get me one of his right before I got into that brawl on 7-1--02 and I would have used it . Because they were coming at me like 6 or 7 deep . Finally we settled it. Just fighting absent weapons I wanted to capitalize however-- weapon less forced me to deal with a more dangerous situation–than any care to be put in. In here guys have many times lost their lives coming short handed of a death fight. It seems I always like to have something up my sleeve that the other party is unaware of. I'll always be that way out there too.

My celly said to tell you hi. And of course we appreciate the MO he got the receipt Friday so It will be there to order the summer sausage and crackers chips , soups. Thank you.

I don't know if you saw it or not and I never asked you how much the Speedball ink was. The same guys name a number was who I wanted to use again. It really helped me get by in here. Even though I'm not using most of it. I sell it and barter for soap, deodorant etc. I also bought a hoody, sweat shirt with a hood. I had sweat bottoms but no top. I've been working out and it's cold so I needed it. I'm doing a few legal appeals but I can't seem to make a dollar there is just not a lot of money here. At Joseph's there 1200 inmates and some very wealthy guys. I made a $1,000 a month slinging Ink and doing legal work. Here I would be lucky if I made 10.00 a week It's scounging dollar for dollar. I've been drinking a cup of coffee per day dripping a little I've cut off all the bums and I'm not like that. I'm a free spirited dude and I like to help those who help them selves. But where I sense I'm towing the load I drag my heels -then set down altogether.
For Thanksgiving we had a slice of turkey, some ham, and sack lunch for supper. It was OK. I weigh 245lbs . My arms measure almost 18 inches just after workout.

Well I'll go for now. Remember your out of state so by calling I believe you could get in a different time than reg Visiting hours.

Oh and about the Chaplain you said was straight -He is an x- con with a child molester record- He kept my amulet and kept my request to staff so I could not pursue a lawsuit . His wife runs canteen . She breaks seals and sells envelopes singles instead of package of 100's or 50's . She sells mark up to everything . Before me untouchable- let me get that envelope manufacture address and see what I can do about that. See why I feel like I have to beat them at what I do best. Because it makes the difference on how I sleep at night and who I dream about when I am sleeping cozy.

See you sometime
Richard

I've received Joey's thoughts about prisons. Gosh ! It's long and I don't have a scanner !!! :mad: The languaga is sometimes..."rude", but I won't censor anything.. It's funny, I told him Pam, a moderator from PTO would like to know about inmates' thoughts, and he calls you "Ms Pamela" !!! :D In the letter he wrote me along with his thoughts, he was kind of nervous writing this, it's the first time ever,that besides me, someone asks him his opinion about something.
Ok here it goes:


Ms Pamela
My name's Joey I am an inmate at Santa Rosa C.I in Florida. Philippe told me you have asked for opinions on prisons, COs etc.. Well Ms Pam, these opinions won't be favorable I can assure you. But I will say I've met some decent cops at some of the prisons I've been too. But most abuse their authority for reasons beyond me. Who knows how a person truly thinks ! For instance, 99% of the cops here at Santa Rosa think they're 9ft tall and bullet proof. This of course is not true, no man is unbeatable, just ask Mike Tyson !!
Santa Rosa is a control movement compound, you walk in straight lines, must wear T-shirts in dayroom area and so forth.
I've been in prison 16 years and I am now 32 and there's a big difference in doing time now and then. Here they allow 1 poker game. "allow" this is prison, and in prison there are 3 things you can't stop, gambling, sex and drugs. These cops cause tension, but what holds us back or most of us is CM.
CM is 24 hour lock down. I've been on CM 3 times, 1 stabbing, 1 assault of a cop and possession of a knife, 1 dirty urine.They do all they can to push us, to instill hate, not rehabilitation. For instance we can't play flag football, we have no weight pile. What kind of prison don't have a weight pile ? It's their fear that don't Ms Pam, because they can't piss us off and control us if we're to strong, now can they.
I came to prison 16 5ft2 119lbs. I am now 5ft6 195 lbs and by no means a fat boy although "Frenchy" thinks so ! :D Of course I am out of shape now but that's what they like.
Administration don't want us intimidating the officers with our size but there are some good ones !! No not just the ones who bring this or that. But ones who come do 8 hours overlook the dumb shit and go home, the ones who actually see what's going down and don't approve!! one who know it's not their job to punish us that the fact alone that we're in prison is our punishment.
Then the women, they are the worst ! Flashing ass talking to you like a dog and actually call themselves ladys. We aren't allowed sex mags in Florida, so a lot of guys "gun" masturbate on these women, some allow it, some don't, some encourage it then lock you up to feel as though they're worthy I guess !!
Someone really needs to clean the system up. But there's no sure fire way to say you will find cops who go according to the book and I also know that the book ain't always good, but right now we, us, the guys in blue are being subject to abuse.
We just recently filed a lawsuit over to my CM prisons "10" we won and by July 1st there will be 3 in the state of Florida for males and 1 for women. This was also used as a weapon by locking us down long term or threatening us with it. CM is for inmate who stab escape get caught with drugs etc etc not bullshit which is what was being done.
So now with the CM threat gone maybe things will change, I hope so. I will stand with the majority against them for us but first we must wait for the CM threat to evaporate. Come on July 1st :) "

gee!!!!these letters are so well written...for Joey to write this well, and then being in prison half of his life...and then Richard...really people...i was reading them and just could not stop reading...they were both so interesting and so well written...it made me want to read more...I am not an easy person when it comes to reading what someone els writes...maybe because I am a writer...but these letters just talked to me...from the first words till the last...whe should do something with these letters and I am defanatly going to ask Clinton to write something as well...how come they all seem to be such excelent writers....i really really enjoyed reading this....maybe because it is so down to earth...I don't know, all I now is that I absolutely love the way these men write and it got to me in a strange way, while I was reading it felt as though I was right there, seeing and feeling what they felt and saw..it was super!!! I want to really read a lot more letters from the men and women inside....this was just super!

I really enjoy it too. I always look forward to Richard's. The letterrs that I posted I did not include the 4-5 pages (front and back)of his detailed legal briefs and appeals he writes me about. I don't understand his legal jargons.

I like when Joey called Phil "Frenchy"

They are all excellent writers aren't they?

Thanks Phil and Joey...ha ha Frenchy I mean!

Wow..I haven't been called Ms. Pam since I was a youth officer at our own juvenile facility.

Phil I will happily respond to Joey's letter when I send out his Christmas card.

There are truly a wealth of stories and insights out there. I have a few from a couple of people coming and I'll post them too.

Hilde and Torrey I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. I see and feel it too...

I agree, these are great. I am going to ask Teddy to pick a pet peeve and wirte about it.

Our letters are really not about prison 99% of the time so I really have nothing on hand to post... he is warming up to PTO so I think that he will want to do this.

He IS looking forward to the first newsletter so I think that we have his support!

Thanks to all that did post a letter they were all great insight!

agreed! both great writers with tremendous insight...i had a few minutes in each of their worlds...definitely a testament to their talent...thanks again to torrey and phil for posting, and for richard and joey for sharing. . .

These letters are great insight as to just a fraction of what our loved ones go through on a daily basis. I could read these all day long!! Keep em coming!! :-)

A letter about privacy and manners

Dear T,
You might not realize precisely how prison life is structured to annoy any amount of genuine peace of mind. The security facet creates interruption in routines of inmates that pressure instinctively give feelings of control because Individual unable to be controlled in free society were basically rebellious to any and all authority figures (in any event they had little and never succumbed or respected it.) The absolute privacy that citizens expect is in taking a major crap convicts lose that almost immediately and can shit while another person is within a few feet. At Mac Alister maximum security locked in cells 23 hours per day 5X week and 24 hours on weekends. No matter what moral upbringing or modesty you once believed in you invent a basic living compromise and new manners. It is common to obtain Elmer glue and glue a peg of card board to the wall next to the commode about four feet high then a succession of shoe strings with a paper clip hook from the other side wall and a bed sheet draped is modest. Rules-drop one -flush, or keep pushing button and running water for elimination of most smell.
Rules—wash hands with soap and water when done—Rules–respectfully do that within a reasonable time periods opposite of meal times because trays are delivered through a small steel slot. Only those new arrivals from A&R receptions tend to not know immediately until they have it broken down for them either diplomatically or sheer violence without any warning.
At OSP I received a 49 year old Catholic Bill of particular i.e. Death Sentence candidate, whore, ignorant, and dominance. Domestically led his wife the daughter of Tusla Dr., Granddaughter of one of Tulsa's original 3 MD's in town, mega wealthy, to extramarital sex at the Williamson bldg where she worked He read a lot of espionage novels so bugged her phone lines and hired people to report her every move. He took out 4000,0000.00 life insurance policy on her then type the kids a note the mom decided to go away for awhile and shot her in the temple and forehead packed her in both dry Ice and Ice bags in the trunk and drove to Dallas airport parked in rear of motel backed into space and covered the vin number . Caught taxi to airport and flew under his own dumb ass name to Hawaii. Then a plane from Hawaii to Philippines collected the $4000,000.00 because his 14 year old girl's name was the also Elizabeth Ann.
He bought a refrigerator stocked it with beer (very very few fridges in Manilla) bought a 2 carat diamond ring got drunk and forged his divorce papers at the embassy and married a Philippine . He thought he committed the perfect crime until the feds found her restraining order and flew down there and merely offered the Phillippines money to point him out. He was kidnaped - jurisdictionally and flown back by FBI plane to US to be charged with 1st degree murder. I received his dumb ass from A&R and he invariably would plop down on toilet minutes before trays , not wash his hands and since he was closer –tried to handle my cup of milk, cup of coffee, and tray/. And I blew up - he said nobody could tell him when nature called and I taught him different.

He snored loud enough to be heard 3 secure cells down and I developed a manner of flushing the toilet (as snoring in mid afternoon at mail time he received Tulsa World News he would read and fall to sleep. When it began I'd flush the toilet and hurry and set back at desk and act like I didn't know what the noise had been he'd raise straight up like a vampire and look startled. He'd settle and get to roaring again and I'd hit it again 10 X over. I received great pleasure in belittling him about killing a woman because she wanted a real man. He was a social loser , alcoholic never worked in his life, a self assessed genius.

I left OSP in Dec and went to Lex . In 95 he showed up there with a bandage head and two black eyes. He was snoring and awakened with a steel pipe to his head ( see not all convicts speak warning first) they don't see that as wrong --they see it as---he should not be snoring that loud.
In the end he understood that everything I veered, I voiced my opinions on, decisions, logic, common sense, prison education or experience even though multi dimensional to his previous thinking patterns were not only absolutely true they were wisdom for reason unknown to him but not done in spite or what you could classify as sheer mean- ness, In his imagination the 400 grand he could use sparingly to declare his liberty back making him the winner never happened.

Wow Torrey, I love this letter !!! It's sad of course this lack of privacy, but your friend wrote it in a nice funny way !!! If you forget the context, and that your loved one is in the same situation too, this letter is rather entertaining.
When Joey was in CM, he told me about this bed sheet hanging from one wall to another to give a "little" privacy.
Thanks for sharing
Phil

Yes Phil, I love his sense of humor he has kept through all his bad times. Many times as I read his letters he causes me to laugh out loud. He just does not realize how much I like to hear from him.

I was reading some letters to him from his family and they tried to censor him so much. They would ask him please don't say this or tell about that. His mom even told him "Why don't you just not tell me what you believe." I felt so sad for him.

I have tried to encourage him to just tell me anything and I try to make no judgements. Even though I will tell him quick enough if I don't like what he might be up to.

What a great letter, torrey---thanks for posting it!

I am very excited about this thread...When Shawn read to me what "he had written down so far" on Sunday night, I was stunned into speechlessness (no small feat, I tell you)....and then I cried.

The words rung in my ears long after we hung up.....the systematic breakdown of the human soul is a very sad reality for our loved ones inside.

Susan in Providence, wishing ridiculously for a magic wand!

I'm shocked they let these letters thru. Maybe they have too many to read or something. I never get letters this, to the point, from my son. He's even had to re-write his letters to me talking about a certain Sargent that had it out for him. He doesn't tell me hardly anything on the phone either. Only when I'm at viso do I get to know what's REALLY happening. Some "camps" are run by inmates, like BCI, they are free to do whatever and lots of drugs there, some are easy; "pie" is how he discribed NFRC Main, others are run with a iron fist like Taylor. He's toured the state of Florida now he's in Lancaster and says it's run by the KKK. The guards have key chains with knots to show rank. The last 3 "camps" he's been to have the telltail moblie home and rebel flag which let's you know your almost to the prison. I can't wait till this is over please hurry July!!! Now I know why they put these prisons out in the middle of nowhere in these hick towns...to give stupid people jobs!! Hope I didn't offend anyone not all hick towns are full of stupid people...that's all I seem to run into when I visit. Peace. cheryl

I absolutely love all these letters! Each one is a different perspective into a world we never knew existed. thank you all and I will ask Amir to send one also.

I asked Robert to write down his opinions of prison life for this board, and just like I thought, he jumped at the idea. However, Robert, being Robert, has decided to write his WHOLE life story down, prison time included. He told me on the phone yesterday that he had TEN pages done so far. I was like what the???? Thats when he said that he was writing his life story, because of COURSE, he has to introduce himself first! <g> I had to make sure he remembered that we wanted to hear about his prison time too! LOL
So, whenever Robert can get his account back open and get envelopes, I will be getting that HUGE letter from him. SO, I hope ya'll don't mind, but I am sure it's gonna be a DOOZY!!! LOL

I've got a letter from Joey today, and I'm gonna share a part of it. I sent him my post "he's in confinement", and the replies you wrote. So, this is related to this post. He answers to Sherri13's reply (Ms Sherry :D). She wrote:

PHIL-SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT JOEY- I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE SORRY FOR HIM BUT ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME-I THINK SOMETIMES UNDER THE STRESS AND PRESSURE IN PRISON OUR GUYS DON'T MAKE THE SAME RATIONAL DECISIONS THEY WOULD MAKE OUT HERE-I THINK OVERALL THEY ARE MUCH MMORE IMPULSIVE AND MOODY-DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR US (OR THEM) BUT AT LEAST HELPS US UNDERSTAND WHAT PROVOKES SOME OF THE CRAZY THINGS THEY DO. ANYWAY, HOPEFULLY HIS TRANSFER WILL JUST BE DELAYED, NOT DENIED. TAKE CARE-YOU KNOW WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

His reply:

" Well I will agree with Ms Sherry on the fact that we might not make the same rational decisions in here as we would out there. But we don't always have time to decide ! Sometimes things happen so fast you just react or depending on who you're deling with, causes you to certain decisions!!
For example I might fight with you but stab the next man over the same reason because that's what it would take. I fight you it's over! I fight him and win or lose I might still have to hurt him because he refuses to accept defeat or is the type to be paranoid, I'll hurt him so he reacts first. Understand ?
Remember the concepts, mentalities and views in here are crazy and unbelievable.
I would never hurt you my Frenchy over a disagreement or other wise. I don't believe in that. Of course I am a fighter but only that animal in here, outside only when pushed too far or in order to defend myself"

JUst an observation I have made about the people we know in prison........ They are all hard headed aren't they? LOL

I RECEIVED THIS FROM TERRANCE FROM DEATH ROW IN NC TODAY.HE IS VERY DEAR TO ME AND I READ THIS I WAS JUST WELL..YOU KNOW.
IN REFERENCE TO HOW THINGS ARE IN HERE,I WILL TRY TO GIVE YOU A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF HOW THINGS ARE ACCORDING TO THE QUESTIONS YOU ASKED.THIS CAN EASILY TURN INTO A BOOK BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT REGARDING THIS PRISON SYSTEM,THE JUSTICE SYSTEM & GUYS ON DEATH ROW.I KNOW THAT YOU CANT BELIEVE SO MUCH INJUSTICE CAN GO ON AT ONE TIME BUT, YOULL BE SURPRISED AS TO HOW MUCH IT REALLY OCCURS.THE PUBLIC DOESNT HEAR MUCH ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE ATTORNEYS TRY TO KEEP IT UNDER THE RUG & THEY TELL THE DEFENDANTS TO DO THE SAME.OUT OF IGNORANCE,THEY DO EXACTLY WHAT THESE SELL OUT ATTORNEYS TELL THEM TO DO AND THEY EVENTUALLY GET EXECUTED.THEY TEACH LAW STUDENTS HOW TO WORK WITH THE STATE AS ATTORNEYS,TO HELP THE STATE CONVICT MORE PEOPLE.THATS WHY THERE ARE SO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE IN PRISON AS WE SPEAK.BACK TO YOUR QUESTIONS,LIVING IN HERE IS ROUGH!THE FOOD IS TERRIBLE AND IS USUALLY OLD DONATED FOOD THAT IS GIVEN TO THE FACILITY.THEY GROW THEIR OWN VEGETABLES WHICH THEY OVERCOOK.THEY SERVE US SOYBEAN PATTIES FOR MEAT PATTIES.WE ARE ALSO FED ALOT OF PROCESSED AND SYNTHETIC FOOD PRODUCTS.WE ARE SERVED IN DIRTY FOOD TRAYS AND GLASSES IN A DINING AREA THAT SMELLS LIKE WASTE.EVERY NOW AND THEN WE HEAR RATS AND MICE FIGHTING IN THE CEILING OF THE DINING HALL AND WEVE SEEN MAGGOTS FALL FROM THE CEILING INTO GUYS' FOOD TRAYS.ITS NORMAL TO FIND SOMETHING UNUSUAL IN A FOOD TRAY.WHEN INSPECTORS COME TO THE PRISON,THE KITCHEN IS SHUT DOWN AND THEY SERVE US ON STYROFOAM TRAYS AND CUPS SO THE INSPECTORS WONT SEE THE DIRTY TRAYS AND CUPS WE ARE USUALLY SERVED IN.THEN THEY PUT IN A FAKE MENU TO MAKEIT SEEM LIKE WE ARE BEING SERVED GOOD FOOD.THE FOOD HAS NO NUTRIENTS WE HAVE TO TAKE MULTIVITAMINS TO KEEP OUR BODIES UP TO PAR.THE COS ARE AVERAGE PEOPLE WHO MOST OF THE TIME,COME HERE TO WORK WHEN THEY NEED A JOB.ALL YOU NEED IS A GED AND YOU CAN GET A JOB HERE.MOST COS START OFF ACTING NICE BUT AS THEY ARE BRAINWASHED BY THE ADMINISTRATION,THEY START ACTING IGNORANT AND AS IF THEY HAVE ALL THE POWER IN THE WORLD.THERE ARE A FEW STILL HERE WHO HAVE NOT CHANGED,BUT PEOPLE LIKE THEM DONT LAST VERY LONG.BLACK OFFICERS ARE ALWAYS TARGETTED BY ADMINISTRATION AND SEVERAL HAD TO SUE TO GET THEIR PROMOTION.

DEATH ROW PRISONERS ARE TREATED THE WORST OUT OF ALL PRISONERS.D-ROW PRISONERS ARE HOUSED IN A SEPARATE UNIT THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE PRISON.PRISONERS WITH LIFE SENTENCES AND LESS TIME ARE HOUSED IN REGULAR POP.THEY ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO WORK JOBSINSIDE THE PRISON FOR VERY LITTLE PAY;LIKE A FEW CENTS A DAY.PRISONERS OF LOWER CUSTODY ARE ALLOWED TO WORK OUTSIDE THE PRISON IN THE PARKING LOT AREA;WHERE THEY DO THINGS LIKE WASH THE CARS OF PRISON OFFICIALS AND COLLECT GARBAGE.D-ROW PRISONERS ARE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND ON THEIR HOUSING UNIT AND SOME HAVE BEEN GIVEN JANITORIAL JOBS INSIDE THE UNIT.THE REST JUST SIT AROUND AND PLAY GAMES,READ,AND WATCH TV AS THEIR TIME EXPIRES.ALMOST NONE OF THEM SPEND TIME ON THEIR CASES.ITS REALLY A STRESSFUL PLACE FOR ME TO BE BECAUSE I AM BEING SUBJECTED TO THE SAME TREATMENT THESE OTHER GUYS ARE AND IM INNOCENT OF ANY WRONG DOING.D-ROW PRISONERS ARE SHORT CHANGED AND DENIED EVERYTHING FROM GOOD CLOTHES TO THE TYPE OF MEDICAL ATTENTION THEY ARE GIVEN.THERE ISNT EVEN A LAW LIBRARY IN THIS PLACE.REGULAR POPULATION WERE ABLE TO SIGN IT AWAY FOR RECREATIONAL PRIVILEGES AND DEATH ROW PRISONERS ARE THE ONES THAT NEED IT THE MOST.IT IS SAD HOW THEY GET US IN HERE SITTING HELPLESSLY WHILE THEY ARE OPPRESSING US.I AM CURRENTLY IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT AND IVE BEEN HERE SINCE 1/31/02 FOR A 20 DAY DISCIPLINARY CHARGE.ILL HAVE SERVED 403 DAYS FOR THIS 20 DAY CHARGE WHEN THEY RELEASE ME FROM SOLITARY IN MARCH 2003.
SORRY IT WAS SO LONG BUT HE HAD ALOT TO SAY!

Terrance,
Thanks for sharing a bit of your time with us. Your letter is very interesting, and you give us a clear idea of what life on death row is. It's the second time I read something you wrote, and I must say that both time you captivated my attention.
I do hope you'll fight your case and be able to prove your innocence. Should you need any signature on a petition, or letters sent to governors or humanitarian organisations, count me in.
I wish you all the best Terrance.
Keep your head up and stay strong
Philippe

THANK YOU PHIL I WILL PASS THIS ON TO TERRANCE AND I KNOW YOU WILL BE THERE READY TO SIGN OR WRITE THANK YOU AGAIN

This is such a good idea. This Forum really opens eyes to the real treatment in the system.... I guess I cannot understand putting a death row inmate in Segregation for anything. What is the reason? My God, we are going to kill them in the long run anyway, why continue the punishment.

Donna

WELL HOPEFULLY AND PRAYERFULLY TERRANCE WILL NOT BE EXECUTED HE IS TRYING TO GET HIS CASE BACK INTO COURT AND IM TRYING MY BEST TO HELP HIM.BUT I AGREE WHY PUT THEM IN SEG.WHATS THE POINT