I have met a young lady who is in VSPW. We have corresponded for about six months and I enjoy our letters and she appears to appreciate mine but recently she has frequently asked me to send her money for various things. I am perhaps a bit naive in these matters and maybe also a bit suspicious. dont want to damage our relationship but on the other hand her requests are becoming a bit persistent. Is she trying to use me or is it really true that without money coming from outside she almost cannot exist. She has never put a price on it but merely says she will accept whatever I can send but I get the impression that nothing is available without payment. Is this true or am I being set up as a trick?
I really hope I am in error but on the other hand i dont like being used.
Rgds
J.N.

No offense pal, but it seems a bit suspicious. If you feel good by helping her, then do it. There's no way your going to be able to tell if she scammin really. Tell her you don't have the money, wait for her response, then react. Good luck!!

My friend was there for a few months and only requested stamps. I could send 2 books at a time, but never asked for $. She did have other family members who helped her and did have money on her books though. I think there are upgraded toiletries etc they have access to inside.

I think that she just got comfortable with you. She probably trusts you to the point where she can ask you for money. Alot of that usually have to do with the mate. I was like that with my man whose currently incarcerated. I made him feel as if it was ok for him to depend on me, and now that he does, its gettin on my nerves. So, don't automatically think that shes trying to use you.

Hmmm it can be a tough call so don't give yourself a hard time about your feelings. I think one should only send what and if they want and feel comfortable with. You can explain that to her and move forward from there. I know that I generally sent books as gifts in the beginning to my man whom I met during his incarceration, occasionally money at holidays, birthdays but as time passed I began sending him something every paycheck because I knew it would help him based on conversations we had. I'm not wealthy and he does have family support but I suppose it has more to do with my comfort level and how I feel about giving. I'm sure the information you need to feel comfortable or to decide you don't will come soon. It always does.

Best of luck to you,
Patty

When My Girl Freind Went In For Her First Prison Term She Was Coming Out Of County Jail And I Made Sure She Had At Least 200.00 On Her Books In Case They Transported Her To A Diferent Facility B4 Taking Her To Prison. When She Arrived At Prison And Had To Go Through Reception She Had Used Most Of The Money Up And I Didnt Know That She Was Not Alowed To Contact Me For Her First 30 Days And Had No Money For Stamps Or Paper Or Envelopes , I Got Nothing From Her For About 6 Weeks Thinking She Was Ok And Didnt Need Money In Prison But Also Wondered Why She Wasnt Writing Me Untill She Sent A Letter Asking For Help She Wrote On A Paper Towl . She Was Miserable And Had Borrowed From Her Fellowinmates To The Point She Couldnt Anymore I Felt Terriblew Not Keeping Up On Her Books And I Love Her To Death , History Is About To Repeat Its Self And I Wontmake The Same Mistake Again It Really Is No Picnik If You Have No Money On Your Books ... I Doubt She Is Using You She Prolly Has No One Else To Turn To And Females Require Extra Hygene Products Easilly Over Looked By Their Men And Not A Very Easy Trip Going Without.so I Wouldnt Play Games With Her Either Send Her What You Can Or Dont But They Have Needs Too And If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot I Would Hope They Would Help Me The Same

Inmates going with out money on their books is hard. Not only do women have extra needs but in Georgia even men don't get the necessary items to make life comfortable. In fact they are charged if they seek medical attention. One thing I have learned if nothing else from this experience is that the Correctional System is really all about MONEY... so if you, have it...and are so inclined to send it ... do so with a giving heart. I have a rule I try to live by... If I have it to give you ....you got it... But if I expect anything in return... Sorry....

No offense pal, but it seems a bit suspicious. If you feel good by helping her, then do it. There's no way your going to be able to tell if she scammin really. Tell her you don't have the money, wait for her response, then react. Good luck!!

I agree!

Awhile back there was another man in England who posted about sending a woman money. He did it and then never heard from her again. If it feels like you're being pushed into doing something you don't want to do, then it's probably wise not to do it.

Well there is only one way to find out and that is to ask her if you can not afford to send her money if your friendship is over. If you do not have the money explain it to her and see what happens. I had to cut a pen pal loose I am sorry to say that is on death row because all he wanted me for was money and he told me so in not so many words. I do not have money to send. They can exist on the inside without money but it is not really living. I would not send any money though if I were you until I had some answers.
Take care
Valorie