i am feeling a little in doubt right now and i dont know where to turn.
my husband is in prison in texas not directly from his addiction to crack.
right before he went in. he was having the battle of his life with this aweful drug. he had previous warrant for his arrest and was on a downhill spiral with being addicted to this drug. in turn things got so bad and he was hidding in my attack one night(we had split up) well i knew he was up there and i called and turned him in. this was the hardest thing i have ever done. no one wants the person that they love to go to prison. yes the things he did where his fault and he was suppose to turn himself him months before but i got tired of the battle with it. i told him time and time again that i would not "run" with him.. he had to face his own responsibilitys. well since he has been in prison he has done real well and gotten the help he needs to grow as a person. he has faced the things he has done and is very sorry for all. he doesnt want to go back to that life at all. he knows i will not be apart of it anymore. i personally got out of it before it directly affected my family. we have since patched things up. he has told me on several occasions that he is ready to come home but as of right now he still doesnt trust his self and he says its not time. he states he still has the urges to do those things. not all the time but they are still present from time to time. he did state they are getting further apart(the cravings that is)
my question to you is what kind of help is out there that he can get to help him with this? is there books i can send him? what are the chances of him beeting this addiction? i have done some research on this drug and it seems to grab hold and not let go. i have also read that it takes at least 1-2 years to get past the "urges".

he is asking for the help and wants to be able to come home and stay away from this demon. he is dead set on this and has even stated he will stay in prison till the demons are where he can fight them.

any suggestions from any of you on this horrid drug and how to beat it?
thanks in advance

mlk,

My ex boyfriend has been a crack addict for 20 years. The only times he has been clean is when he is prison. I know how you feel about turning him in, but you probably saved his life. My ex comes from a very good family and chooses to live in total filth when he is on the streets. He has been to just about every rehab in the state of Maryland, nothing seems to work for him, I guess he just doesn't want it bad enough. My suggestion is not to let him come home to you. If he feels he isn't ready or strong enough yet, it just won't work. Have him talk to his case manager and see if they will help him get into a rehabilitation program the day he is released. He needs to be commited to working a program. He needs to be around other people who are also commited to it. He needs advice and guidence from experts who know what it takes to enter into real recovery. He needs to go to meetings everyday. This crap is so powerful, in my opinion there is nothing harder to get off of. Over the last 5 years I have spoke to many crack addicts, I know of 2 that have been successful in beating the devil. Both are counselors at drug rehabs, they both say they still have intense cravings everyday, even after many years of not using. But, they have learned how to ignore them, thats what he will get out of rehab if he works the program. I have learned so much on this over the years, Crack should be on the shelf right next to the Rat Poison, all it does is kill the mind, body and soul. Good Luck and if there is anything you need to know feel free to PM me. I've been there and done that, and lost the fight.
Shelby

thanks for the response i have sent you a pm...

MLK2001, I am speaking as a gratefully recovering addict. I have been clean 2 years Oct 12. This has been the hardest journey of my life. I had to completely shut down all the people I knew from my past. I can't allow myself to go places that I know will trigger my addiction. I'm not gonna lie to you, there are still times when I want to use. But instead of thinking how wonderful that first hit is, I think of how terrible the
"come down" is. How it feels to be hungry but no money to eat, no money for cigs, can't sleep, wanting another hit so bad your are willing to do just about anything you have to in order to get a hit, I HATE IT!!!!!! I never jeopardized my morals and values to get dope, but I can't say the thought never crossed my mind. I have to go to meetings and I still have a sponser. He WILL NOT stay clean if he doesn't truly want to.

I too was one who would hide in my closet (sad isn't it?) when I was using. I was so ashamed that I didn't want anyone to see me. I had to take down all the doors at my apt. When I feel like using, I have to rebuke satan in the name of Jesus. Sometimes I shout it!!!! I pray for God to take the desire out of my heart. Once you are an addict, you will always be an addict. There is a chemical in your brain that is triggered when you use for the first time that needs to constantly be fed. That's why you never hear people say "I am a recovered addict" You never recover. You just have to want to stay clean bad enough. I also had to sit down and make a list of what makes me use. You know payday...I wake up wanting to use, going to stay in a hotel room makes me want to use because that's where I did it a lot of times, having money in my pocket after bills are paid, or just running into someone that I used with or bought from. Then I had to come up with a solution to those triggers, payday..I went shopping sometimes spending ALL my extra money, not going to places that I associate using with..hotel rooms was one. I also told everyone I know all the signs of me using. I even told my 13 year old son the signs. I can remember one time I was fighting with my boyfriend, well that was as good as excuse as any. But I got a hold of myself and called my best friend and told her I was on my way to the dope man's house with a pocket full of money can I please come over?

You man needs to do some real soul searching. One excerise I learned was to close my eyes and think of all the people I hurt in my active addiction. All I could think was how my son would knock on my bedroom door needing help with his homework and I couldn't even deal with him because I was so concerned about my next hit. That hurt to the core and still does. And now when I think about using...I think about that. I am very blessed that I have a wonderful support system. My son has forgiven me and we have moved on. But the danger will always be there. My church has a program called REJOICE recovery. It has seen me through some really rough times.

You are really gonna have to be his strength while he fights this battle. Be careful not to be an enabler. If it means stealing every dime he has in his pocket while he's asleep. He'll be grateful when the urge is gone and he still has money. I'm not gonna lie to you, you're in one heckuva battle. That stuff will take your soul if you're not careful.

There are so many more things I could say. If you need to talk, PM me. I'l help you in any way I can. I'll do my best to help you understand what he's going through so you can do what you can to help him fight the urge. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU GUYS. Be strong!!!!!!

Thanks so much for the post moodysgirl.... i am so worried about enabling him. how do you do that. maybe i have helped him in the past.... do you know what is involved in enabling?

I sent you a pm. I hope it helps. I'm here for you if you need me.

I Know You Have Heard It All Just About But Please Let Me Tell You One Thing And Please Never Forget This It Works If You Work It. The Staticsts Are Only 95 Percent Make It Think About It The Longer You Have Been On It Your Odds Are Low. Do Not Enable Him Please. I Hope This Helped You Some.

I want to thank you 3 for sharing those experiences. As someone involved in deciding what to do with hard drug addicts, you have offered me some insight that albiet, I have had before, but was way over due for a little real perspective!

I wish you luck in both you support of you loved one and your own struggles.

Searcher