I am really torn because my boyfriend is getting ready to plead guilty to a couple felony charges for violating our order for protection. He is looking at 5-10 years in prison when all is said and done. I really miss him for some reason and worry about him all of the time. On the other hand I am scared of him. Just really conflicted about how I should feel and act. We have two little boys together. Our youngest doesn't even know who his dad is due to the fact he was only four months old when he last saw him. The county attorneys office would like me to move far away where he will never find us - but I just can't bring myself to do that. I would even go and visit him in prison. I love him!:confused: :(

You need to move away. Think about your childrens safety and yours. Your kids should be your first priority. I can't tell you how you're feeling, but more than likely, you only "miss" him b/c that's the life that you know. You were too comfortable in the situation that is very unhealthy for your kids and for yourself. If you can't be strong for yourself, be it for your kids. If he's ever put hands on you or done anything "dumb" to you, he won't hesitate to do it to you in front of your children. Is that what you want them to see? Is that the way you want them to grow up? Seeing their dad be "dumb" to their mom. You're the constant in their life. You're who they look up to. If they see you allowing things to happen, then as they grow up, they'll think it's okay when it's not. You can do it. The courts won't let you go visit him in prison. If they do, then there not doing their job. He's not going to see it that he's serving time for something he did wrong, he's going ot see it as your fault, so his mindframe is going to be to make you pay when his time is said and done serving his time in prison.

I did get your PM and I responded. The system deleted my first one b/c it was way too long. If you're more comfortable, you can PM me anytime. Im here for you and you have my support. I'll help you any way that I can. Please reply to the PM I sent you. I'm on your side and here for you through thick and thin. You can do this. You're a strong woman.

Tana

I'm in Minnesota, and I have a lot of experience and people I know in the area of domestic violence. I've worked with Tubman Family Alliance out of Minneapolis, and if you PM me, I can maybe help you out with these issues.

I know you love him - I know it's a genuine love. I know how hard it is to go through this, how hard it is to break the cycle, but it can be done. Feel free to PM me, girl!!!!

PEACE
Kim

i pray that you take the advice to leave him fo ryour childrens safety.if you cant bear to leave him then i think you should think if its right to make them suffer through his tirades?is he loving them that much that they wont survive?take you rsons and go!!if he is showing them love and protection they gone inherit his ways cuz they see how he treat you.do you want to just stop him degrading you or him and your sons when they get older?i know its hard to do cuz it seems like what he was there for mattered bac then.but honey it didnt matter bac then cuz you would have made it on your own and IT DONT MATTER NOW EITHER!I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK