Jorlanda
06-04-2004, 11:18 AM
Hello,
first of all I want to apologize for my poor English. Iīm from Europe but I do my best
Honestly I have no idea how to start this. Iīm a little nervous. Itīs the first time Iīm writing about me and my situation. Itīs not that I am embaressed, but Iīm scared even though I donīt know why. Maybe I am just getting paranoid after all those years I īm going through this.
My hubby and I met before he went to prison. We had a long distance relationship and even though a whole ocean has been betwees us we were happy to be together.
One day I got a letter, telling me that he is in jail but I shouldnīt worry, he would be home soon. I booked a flight to see him. And again he tried to calm me down. He said he ordered a gun powder test and there is no way for them to sentence him because the test will proove he dinīt do it.
Two years later he went to trial and I truely believed I could take him home after it. Wasnīt I a fool to believe everything is going to be alright? Anyways, the prosecutor said they lost the test two weeks before trial and that nobody has taken a look at it before, so they donīt know the result but that wouldnīt proove he is innocent. I couldnīt believe what I have heard. I mean, donīt tell me that they made this test and no one was interested in the results for almost two years !!!
So he was sentenced to death without any physical evidence. I never thought this could happen. After 3 years I still feel shocked.
We got married after he was sentenced. Donīt get me wrong. I donīt regret it. I love my husband more than life itself. He is my everything. My once in a lifetime love. And come what may, I will stand by him until the end of time.
But Iīm tired. Iīm sad and Iīm scared. I donīt know what the future holds for us. And I am damn scared we wonīt win this battle. I always try my best not to cry because Iīm afraid if I ever start to cry I cannot stop.
Usually I fly to the US every 6 or 8 weeks. I canīt stand a long time without him. But everytime I go back to Europe it feels like Iīm dying. I miss him so much. He is all Iīve ever wanted and without him, there is no me. And our love is so wonderful and Iīm thankful to have such a great love. But the circumstances are killing me.
People give me dirty looks when Iīm telling them where my hubby is. They judge me. They spit on me. And itīs making me so angry. They have no right to do that.
My friends are trying to talk me into leaving my husband. How could I ? I love him endlessly and there is nothing that could take me away from him.
He is treated like shit and they try to take away his humanity. And there is nothing I can do. Iīm feeling helpless , lonely and Iīm desperate. Iīm fighting against all odds and Iīm so exhausted
I just wanna have my life back. Together with him and without any fear.
Iīm sorry, but I just had to vent and now I feel a little bit better.
first of all I want to apologize for my poor English. Iīm from Europe but I do my best
Honestly I have no idea how to start this. Iīm a little nervous. Itīs the first time Iīm writing about me and my situation. Itīs not that I am embaressed, but Iīm scared even though I donīt know why. Maybe I am just getting paranoid after all those years I īm going through this.
My hubby and I met before he went to prison. We had a long distance relationship and even though a whole ocean has been betwees us we were happy to be together.
One day I got a letter, telling me that he is in jail but I shouldnīt worry, he would be home soon. I booked a flight to see him. And again he tried to calm me down. He said he ordered a gun powder test and there is no way for them to sentence him because the test will proove he dinīt do it.
Two years later he went to trial and I truely believed I could take him home after it. Wasnīt I a fool to believe everything is going to be alright? Anyways, the prosecutor said they lost the test two weeks before trial and that nobody has taken a look at it before, so they donīt know the result but that wouldnīt proove he is innocent. I couldnīt believe what I have heard. I mean, donīt tell me that they made this test and no one was interested in the results for almost two years !!!
So he was sentenced to death without any physical evidence. I never thought this could happen. After 3 years I still feel shocked.
We got married after he was sentenced. Donīt get me wrong. I donīt regret it. I love my husband more than life itself. He is my everything. My once in a lifetime love. And come what may, I will stand by him until the end of time.
But Iīm tired. Iīm sad and Iīm scared. I donīt know what the future holds for us. And I am damn scared we wonīt win this battle. I always try my best not to cry because Iīm afraid if I ever start to cry I cannot stop.
Usually I fly to the US every 6 or 8 weeks. I canīt stand a long time without him. But everytime I go back to Europe it feels like Iīm dying. I miss him so much. He is all Iīve ever wanted and without him, there is no me. And our love is so wonderful and Iīm thankful to have such a great love. But the circumstances are killing me.
People give me dirty looks when Iīm telling them where my hubby is. They judge me. They spit on me. And itīs making me so angry. They have no right to do that.
My friends are trying to talk me into leaving my husband. How could I ? I love him endlessly and there is nothing that could take me away from him.
He is treated like shit and they try to take away his humanity. And there is nothing I can do. Iīm feeling helpless , lonely and Iīm desperate. Iīm fighting against all odds and Iīm so exhausted
I just wanna have my life back. Together with him and without any fear.
Iīm sorry, but I just had to vent and now I feel a little bit better.