Hello everyone.. well i called it, maybe i just put it out there.. but my visit on saturday was not that great.. the phones were horrible kept getting static.. and could not hear each other which only aggravated our allready TENSE conversation Remeber i mentioned the letter i was going to send about CHANGING.. well that did not go over well at all.. he was allready pissed when he came into the visit.. the guard we had that day was hanging on the door watching us, which did not help.. so it just got worse.. !! then he asks for a favor.. ( a request) that i am not comfortable with.. needless to say i had a terrible ride home, and i was so sick and depressed sat nite.. wanted to post and just see how others visits were.. i think i need to stick with the advice more given here,, i should just let him figure it out in there..!:(

JUST VENTING .. THANKS tell me about your visits

DOnna

SOmetimes there are just days like that... or weeks and months!! ;) I'm sorry it didn't go well. Do you guys get phone calls? Did you send that letter, or just talked about it?

Visits is still a sore subject for us. I haven't visited for a month, mainly because my last visit was lousy... I pretty much decided I won't go back until he asks me to and we can plan it ahead of time.

I hate this new prison he's at. Now they're on lockdown, and no phone calls either... my letters take 3-4 weeks to reach him. I am feeling really out of touch and missing him, but I can't see him for at least 2 more weeks even if I wanted to.

So that's my visiting situation, I hope someone here had a happy visit!!! :)

I havent visited since the middle of April and wont visit again until May 12th. I had a "not so good" phone call today. I have been moody/depressed and he's been the same way. The entire time I kept answering in monosyllables. And it doesnt help that they moved him to a new building, his parole hearing is fast approaching, he has stuff in R&R that they wont give to him, he cant watch the Lakers game, his family hasnt seen him or wont answer their phone...the list is endless! So I just listen...and it humbled me a bit. Actually I cant wait to visit. We have never gone more than 6 weeks without seeing each other. This medication I am taking is definitely not improving my moods any...

Well DonnaC!! Since you asked.. Some girl about half my age was eyeballing me!! I thought at first she was just staring off into space and not realizing where her eyes were so I just smiled at her. Later she walked past my table and she gave me a dirty look!!
I started to get up to follow her to the coke machine to ask her what her pproblem was but my Hubby stopped me. I've never done anythingto this woman... not even one word have I spoken to her! I just don't get it!! I can't really start anything with her cause as we all know... My Man is a lifer and wouldn't that suck if I lost my visits!?!
I told my Hunny that I am gong to stare right back at her but i'll be better at it cause I've been doing this sh#t for years!!! So that was my visit!!!
Sorry you had a bad visit too. Should we get some ice cream!?!

Donna-
(((HUGS)))) They'll be days like that. I think some (not all) appreciate us a bit more when we ignore their every request. Just do what you feel to do and don;t feel pressured. Relax your mind!

Penwife- So you are the better starer, huh? That is too funny! I'm with your hubby, that confrontation is not worth losing visits. Perhaps she had something else on er mind.

penwife.. LOL LOL.. to funny thats all I can say.. ya .. i dont' have to deal with any other visitors really... ! I use to have an awful time.. at contact visits.. and my hunny would be doing some eyeballing this was years ago.. and i use to hit theROOF!! OMG too funny i think i was sixteen at the time, now at 38 i just say go ahead me too!! :))
But don't mess w/ my visits now..and yes i would love to go get some ice cream!! NOW..

Lorna thanks for the hugs!as far as his request.. well i am gonna wait to see if i get a letter this week and then maybe i will do it.. anyhow .. i set him off with the speech on "cant you just change baby:!!! can't you be a good boy!! i was talking to his mom today and i was telling her this.. and she agreed i need to let it go!!! let him feel his oats and learn.. :)((( so hard to do .. when i want him moved out of max!!

qwerty and yasmeen..hang in there.. we cant' seem to go past 6 weeks either.. our longest was 2 months.. . oh that hurt. Take care

Be good to yourselves this week .. :) i am stocking up on Ben and Jerrys chunky monkey ice cream, and some heaven chocolata..:))) hmmmm

XO
Donna

Sorry you had a lousy visit. THey happen unfortunately. I didn't get to visit this past weekend, my ride fell through. I shouldn't complain to much. I generally go every weekend both Sat and Sun for 6 hours each, and thy're contact visits. Still I miss not seeing my Sweetie. I can't wait for this week to end and Saturday gets here. I hope your next visit will be a good one.

oh Donna, sorry to hear of your visit. I jsut feel so much better after this vist...i really needed it. We really talked of so many things, issues, communication, and did get some laughs in there. I guess if it were something he was doing, like fighting or actin up, it would be different. But i know he is and has changed...so its hard to be mad at him. We discussed ending this relationship at length...but i am not ready to be done yet. It aint over till I say its over! lol
So i am going to continue to fight for his transfer to a lower level facility. And we will continue to hang and work with stuff till this happens. not much else we can do at this point...

Dawn

DonnaC!! I don't mess with lifers! We've got to stick together!!!

WEll LADIES.. I received my letter.. and it was two.. good ones.. apologizing for the visit.. and I just wrote back and stated.. yes I am going to let it ride.. i love you , and support you and your gonna have to do what you are going to do..!! instead of trying to change him,, i am gonna let it go.. I had a dream about him last nite. was so awesome.. but then i woke up.. at 2 am.. any one gonna be on chat friday nite..??? take care lifer ladies..

Penwife.. :))) smiles to ya..

Donna

DonnaC! Glad to hear that your doing good! I agree with you about not wanting to change your man! I've never tried to change mine! I love the crazy fool the way he is!! :) Right back atcha DonnaCWEll LADIES.. I received my letter.. and it was two.. good ones.. apologizing for the visit.. and I just wrote back and stated.. yes I am going to let it ride.. i love you , and support you and your gonna have to do what you are going to do..!! instead of trying to change him,, i am gonna let it go.. I had a dream about him last nite. was so awesome.. but then i woke up.. at 2 am.. any one gonna be on chat friday nite..??? take care lifer ladies..

Penwife.. :))) smiles to ya..

Donna

I'm glad you got a good letter... and it's true, people only change when they want to change. You can encourage them, but that's about all. It's nice to be able to realize that so you can relax and let go a little, too.

ps. That dream sounds reeeeeal good.

sooo...

i just got home from my visit, and i am on cloud 9000!!!
it was awesome. the CO's must have taken their happy pills, because they were so friendly it almost made me wanna *PUKE*!
they basically turned their heads and let whatever happened happen.
thank god that noone abused it. NO ONE did ANYTHING that could be considered nasty. but people were able to hug, hold hands, smooch, rub shoulders ... my baby even rubbed my feet!!! lol ... the whole entire visiting room had this incredible "morale boost" feeling to it. it was sooo good to see all of those guys so happy.

the room was jam packed, and usually they stick to the 2 hour rule on the weekends, but today, instead...know what they did???
brought in more tables and chairs!!!

it almost made me cry. the kids even felt it .. they all got together by these chalk boards they have for the kids to play with, and the put on a "show" for all of us, lol ... they sang and told jokes ... it was too cute.

im sorry for blabbing on- it was just all very unexpected.
the head CO (i guess he's called) even thanked all of the guys when it was time for then to leave for not abusing the fact that they let them have a little "freedom".

i praying for anyone else who visits soon to be able to go through what i went through today.

thanks for listening ... :)

Glad that you had a good visit Kerrilyn!! Sounds like the Boss Man was testing you all on a new relaxed visiting room! Maybe they're going to keep it that way!! sooo...

i just got home from my visit, and i am on cloud 9000!!!
it was awesome. the CO's must have taken their happy pills, because they were so friendly it almost made me wanna *PUKE*!
they basically turned their heads and let whatever happened happen.
thank god that noone abused it. NO ONE did ANYTHING that could be considered nasty. but people were able to hug, hold hands, smooch, rub shoulders ... my baby even rubbed my feet!!! lol ... the whole entire visiting room had this incredible "morale boost" feeling to it. it was sooo good to see all of those guys so happy.

the room was jam packed, and usually they stick to the 2 hour rule on the weekends, but today, instead...know what they did???
brought in more tables and chairs!!!

it almost made me cry. the kids even felt it .. they all got together by these chalk boards they have for the kids to play with, and the put on a "show" for all of us, lol ... they sang and told jokes ... it was too cute.

im sorry for blabbing on- it was just all very unexpected.
the head CO (i guess he's called) even thanked all of the guys when it was time for then to leave for not abusing the fact that they let them have a little "freedom".

i praying for anyone else who visits soon to be able to go through what i went through today.

thanks for listening ... :)

i doubt they would be willing to be THAT cheery all the time, lol it was happier than disney world in that room!! ... but yeah, thats what i thought...it was like they were testing them, or us. weird!

Hey kerri sounds great!! maybe they wanted a quiet nite??:)) or just maybe they are realizing hey these people are humans too, and lets try another tatic!!! respect, and compassion for the families who have to travel here and visit with children etc.. maybe they are trying to improve , to see if there is a change in behaviors. the only thing that can be a down fall and i am speaking only for my state prison, that i visit was when they had visits like that.. drugs were brought in ALL the time,, it ruins it!! and that causes so much .. stuff going on inside.. as you all know.. not saying it cant' (drugs) can not still be brought in, but anyway.. rambling.. sounds wonderfull.. i am glad you got to spend quality , fun , and nuturing loving !! visit.. wow. i am jealous girl, what i would give for a foot massage.:))) @@@@

xo
Donna

Kerilynn...wonderful to hear u had such a GREAT VISIT! We had so many people last sat that they had to pick 2 "good guys" to be in a cubicle not locked in...Jerry was one of um. I too have gotten great letters since the visit...we are all re-centered now, as we say. He likes to get all the 'issues' out of the way on the first visit...i cant handle that cuz i am too whiped out from not sleeping and being in a car for 10 hours. I won though, we did the issues at the beginning of the second visit, then had great fun and laughed for the remainder and last visit. I jsut need more visits...we both do...its getting real hard only seeing each other every 2-3 months.

Dawn

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THIS. I JUST VISITED MY BOO (oops caps) in his new prison. supermax from hell. our visit was thru tv monitor! yup! The COs were actually nice, which surprised me. I was in one room looking at a tv and my man was in another room looking at a tv. they tape the visits and review them afterward. OMG! AND I had to give a biogenetic hand imprint to get in! HELLO I AM NOT A CRIMINAL AND WHY DO I HAVE TO GIVE AWAY MY PERSONAL DATA???? It was great to see my baby tho and he sounded sooo happy when i talked to him so i know the visit helped him.

oh, donna ... im SURE that whatever the reason for the CO's being so cool HAD to benefit them in some way. i dont mean to sound negative, because i really am so happy that it was a good day. but i just cant shake the feeling that the visit left me with. its almost like it was the calm before the storm. me and billy both- throughout the whole visit kept saying "this is just too weird" "whats going on?" "when is the sh*t gonna hit the fan?"
i know i keep repeating myself, but after i got a chance to come down off of my high (natural high!!), i just cant shake this bad feeling.
ugh .. i hope im just over thinking..

2scorpios- i hope you get to have more visits soon. your right, its SO hard when you have to space out visits...if your anything like me, it just gives you way too much time to think about things. i wish everything werent SOOOO expensive.

ashley- ive heard about those monitor visits. ive never had one, but your right. you didnt do anything wrong, so why make you feel like your on some top secret mission?!!

oh boy, the things we do for love, lol ...