He had court at 9am this morning, and I'm sure by now, he's officially in custody. We spent the weekend together, and there was laughter and tears.

I feel an emptiness that only he can fill, and I'm at a loss. I know he goes to County for processing. Not sure how long he will be there till they move him. Feel like a part of me has died.

His sentence is short to what most of you are enduring, and my comfort in this is over-ridden by the guilt I have in even trying to compare myself to what some of you have to go through. I'm scared for him, I will worry. I know it will be OK...he's been there before, and he's smart. He won't run his mouth, and he understands the rules, such that they are.

But see, as of today, to the system, I officially became a NOTHING. He is technically married (she is out of state and they haven't seen each other in almost a year). But, to the system, I don't exist. I can write all the letters I'm capable of composing to the parole board. I can find all the information I can get my hands on to help him, but who's going to listen?

I'm at a loss, and the pain is ever-increasing. Someplace, down deep, I know there is strength, and I know he needs to feel in his mind that I've located it and that I'm holding my head up.

He seems to think they will send him to Garza for processing
(although we anticipate 30-60 days at county). As I understand it, the Garza unit in Beeville processes most intakes in the southwest region. I'm hoping they don't send him off someplace in the middle of nowhere, but yanno, they don't know about me, and they could send him north to my benefit...I wouldn't complain (I live just outside of
Dallas).

Anyway, I have rambled enough. If you guys have ANY suggestions at all, let me know. Because of the shorter sentence, he will elgible for parole pretty quickly. I don't want to get my hopes up at all, but I just feel there is something I should be doing.

take care,
kath
:(

I'm new at this too but from what I have seen, read, and heard, 30-60 days at county is a bit optimistic. I hear it's more like 4 to 6 months. Heck, if he's just got two and he can earn good time, he could be out before he gets in.. he he he.. Okay, so I'm being a bit silly. Just trying to brighten your day!

Hang in there. After the holidays, it's all downhill..

Being scared and worried, feeling empty and helpless are all very normal emotions. I feel them every hour of every day. And whether he is gone for 2 months or 20 years, it still hurts the same. No part of you has died. You will realize that when time is close to his release. But most of all, you are SOMEBODY! And you do exist. You are his best friend and that is what will get him through..

I'm not a good one to give advice as I only started this process less than a month ago but if I can lift your spirits, mine are lifted too..

Hang tight. Hug a Vet today...

Jan..

Thanks Jan...from what I understand, the longer he's in county, the better. Our attorney inidicates we will earn more time at the county level. I still don't understand how good time/flat time is added for parole eligibility, and your comment that he could be out before he goes in is actually not a bad point. I know on average, non-violents are being paroled at 29%, and of that 29% last year, they only served 30% of their sentence. I'm hopeful...probably unrealistically so....but I want him home NOW. LOL

I'm trying to keep my head up and the emotions wash over me in waves. One minute, I'm ok, the next, I'm a blithering idiot.

I appreciate your support. He is in Harris County, I'm in Dallas. Been trying to see if his SPN number has been assigned yet...phone has been busy all afternoon. Needless to say, I've already begun the outsider frustration.

I have to agree that there is no point in comparing yourself to others and thinking that your pain is any less significant... we all take this a day at a time and EVERY day being away from the one we love is hard....
I can also relate to your being "nothing" in the eyes of DOC... I fit into that category too... in fact, I am less than nothing... I have to keep a low profile as an ex-contracted-employee of DOC..... I have to consider the possible risks to drawing ANY attention to me in trying to advocate for my man...
I don't really have any feedback for you about how long he may be in county, calculation of good time, etc as I am up here dealing with the IL state system and every system is different.....
I will just say that when you get lonely and are feeling lost and sad.... or need to know you are not alone... come to PTO.. and come often..... Together we will be a day at a time untill and AFTER our loved ones return home....
Peace........

Take it slow, one minute at a time. Do not overwhelm yourself - you know now what you are looking at and where to go from here. You are stronger than you give yourself credit to be and that strength will rise from deep inside of you.

I always have that feeling of I am not doing enough or there is something else that can be done. So I write letters to my husband and I am there for him and sometimes I have to accept that there simply is nothing that can be done.

Good luck and God bless.

kath,

I am sorry that I cannot offer any advice here but I think that you already have some above me!

Hello and welcome to PTO!

Hope to see you around the site!

Orignially posted by Trulykath

But see, as of today, to the system, I officially became a NOTHING. He is technically married (she is out of state and they haven't seen each other in almost a year). But, to the system, I don't exist. I can write all the letters I'm capable of composing to the parole board. I can find all the information I can get my hands on to help him, but who's going to listen?


Sorry, but I disagree. You may be right, to the system you may be a 'no-one'...but you're definitely not nothing. You can't become a nothing unless you allow someone to make you that....hopefully you won't. So if you stop writing letters, quit digging up information, stop pushing...who's going to listen? Nobody, cause there won't be anything to listen to. Nobody can hear you if you're not making any noise. Keep fighting, someone might hear...and who knows, the person you end up helping the most just might be yourself.

all the best

I totally agree with toe!! You are OSMETHIGN, SOMEONE!!!...my husband is also in Texas and he was at Garza, he he stayed at county for 3 motnhs before he went up...Also from what I have been told county time is day for day unless they have been sentenced to stayu at the county and not TDc....so if he is earning 3 for 1 right now if he is goint to TDC it will be day for day.....just what I have heard I am not sure if it is true or not.......Also I spoke to a parole officer last week and he was very encouraging about Stephen making aprole because he is a non-violent offender...he said it could be that he serves just 25% of his time....he told e they are more apt to letting him serve most of his sentence on parole...so that is very optimistic...hang in there and know that we at PTO all care for you and are here for you..it will get better and he will be ok and will be home soon!! PM me if you need to talk!!!---AMelia

Thanks guys...I finally located his inmate number and the first letter is on the way!!!!!!! I had understood from our attorney that he would earn 2 for 1 in county. This may be wrong. (Amelia, he stayed in Garza 7 years ago). I'm getting stronger with each moment, though I did cry myself to sleep last nite. I know the phone/visitation privileges are better at county, and I'm already making plans to go see him. I'm hoping he might suprise me with a phone call soon.

I will keep you guys posted. Your support has meant more to me than you can possibly know!

We are here for you.

The power of support is unfathomable!

Welcome to PTO..........trulykath

Hang in there ..........your loved one will only get 1 for 1 in county.......he can get up to 3 for 1 in TDCJ

Like everyone has said, don't ever think you are a nobody. You are a very special somebody to your love and a wonderful somebody to us. Hang in there, you will have up and down days until he is back with you. We all have them. But you know what, this is the best place in the world to come to when you are having those real downer days. Also the best place to come when you are up on a cloud. This wonderful site has become my salvation.

Welcome SOMEBODY. A very new important Sombody.
Leslie

Welcome to PTO and I hope the time away from your loved one goes by fast. Coming here will make you feel better, I know it really helps me while my two sons are in prison.