Hi .. I was just thinking if giving support and hope to a lifer is something we should do? My man has accepted his situation and I cant helptelling him that there could be a chance of freedom someday.. especially since the three strike law in Calif may be amended. the last item in pandora's box was hope!:)

I know how you feel right now, I have a great friend that is a lifer. But if we all (Including lifers) don't have something to hope for, or to dream about, then what do we really have left? To live is to dream and hope for better days.
Always hope, and they need to have hope and dreams just like you and me!
At least this is my opinion!

Yes lifers should have hope. Never lose sight of it. Laws can & do change. :) :thumbsup:

Yep, I agree... and along with hope, there are the things to live for every day... that is one profound lesson I have learned from my guy... he always comes up with something to look forward to every day.

thank you .. yes even though at times..I may feel like there is no hope.. especially when my guy starts acting up!! :)) IF there is no hope.. you really have nothing to live for(lifer)
just my take on HOPE..

Donna

What is hope??? :confused: The dictionary defines hope as ~ noun 1 a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen. 2 a person or thing that gives cause for hope. ~ verb 1 expect and want something to happen. 2 intend if possible to do something.

Annd without that desire, that expectation, that HOPE ~ what might I have? :shrug:

I could answer that myself or anyone could answer it for me, we all know the answer to my question.

Every plan we make is filled with hope. Each time we trust, it's reaching out, having enough faith to rely upon someone else. Any dream or wish we might have/make is that simple confidence something will happen. Everything little thing we do is full of hope!

So I guess I agree with everyone here, Keeping the hope alive! Whatever the situation might be, you need to have hope in your heart. Annd it never hurt to always believe the glass is half full!?! :D

I have been working alot on my faith issues as well. the difference between hope & faith is that with faith...one has a knowing of an outcome. when we hang in hope, we have an unexpected outcome, but with faith, we are waiting for the positive outcome. my guy dosent hang in hope or faith, he just knows he will not be there forever.

We learned a long time ago to go with what little joys we have. we decided also a long time ago that its not the reality or ending, but its the ride and the things we share and do everyday that makes it WHY we do what we do.

There was this line in this movie "city of angels". Meg ryan says "why would you give him to me and not let me have him?" if the end you see that it was for the specific reason of to experience the love. Its not up to what we want or what we think is the best ending. the ending is like the future, we cant control that. so we hang in the "tiny miracles" like him being brought down on time for a visit, or an extra hour visit cuz they forgot we were there! or little things getting through the mail, or the Warden calling my house just to chat about policy.

When people ask me "isnt he ever getting out?" i just say, anything is posible now isnt it? try not ot focus on the hopeless realities...just be happy you got a letter today and get lost in it...thats where it began and thats what we chose.

Dawn

There is always room for something good to come of every situation. I keep telling Gary that things happen for a reason. If he wasn't in prison he'd probably be dead by now. He says a life sentence isn't living, but they just changed a law that affects his case and I told him that maybe this is what his life is bound for.

My man is the one that keeps me going...I never loose hope that he's coming home. As a matter of fact we don't say I hope you're/I am/are coming home, we say when he comes home, because we know it will happen. Look at my Poppy's definition of Hope, it's in my signature, it's the patient expectancy of an outcome, not an empty desire for one.

Expect that it will happen, don't just wish. See a lot of people get the word hope and wish confused....hope is to rely on your faith, and MY faith says that God answers prayers, in His time, not ours, and when it's time, Ronnie will be home, but not until then. I believe it's a test of true love, cuz that which does not kill us makes us stronger. We are a strong breed of women, not many could do what we do, but, we do it and the key ingredient is that we don't have a "problem" waiting on our men.

Some people ask me how? How do you do it? Don't you get you know...."lonely"? yes, but....I know in time, he'll be standing beside me physically as I am standing beside him emotionally right now. LOVE TO ALL!!! And NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE

~Amber~

I think this is a great thread and I hope it continues. I always keep hope alive. In the situation of me & my husband that's what keeps us going. Love & hope. I will not listen to negative remarks I have heard. Ultimately I am the one who is living this life so......I don't need the negative input. Its tough when I hear about others coming home, contact visits, phone calls etc. And I am VERY happy for those who have that. Just gosh don't throw it in our face...it hurts. But this is who I love. If I gave up I don't think he would really care anymore. I can't have that. So to those in this type of life (life with lifers) may God sustain you & your loved ones. I will pray for all inmates & families. My husband & I always do. :love: Rosita :)

Rosita, I think you are right, you are what is going to keep him caring. Woman, you are sooooo strong!!

I am happy to see the lifers here so full of LIFE!!! It makes me feel even more at home at PTO than before.

With my dear "friend" (or whatever he is), we are just starting out on this journey. We had a rough visit recently, but we're really working things out now in a good way. I realize this is going to be a long road -- and there I was just looking at a little pothole! :) He is just beginning his sentence, so I think it is all just starting to hit.

Anyway, I am so glad you all are kicking it up here...

Rosita, I think you are right, you are what is going to keep him caring. Woman, you are sooooo strong!!

I am happy to see the lifers here so full of LIFE!!! It makes me feel even more at home at PTO than before.

With my dear "friend" (or whatever he is), we are just starting out on this journey. We had a rough visit recently, but we're really working things out now in a good way. I realize this is going to be a long road -- and there I was just looking at a little pothole! :) He is just beginning his sentence, so I think it is all just starting to hit.

Anyway, I am so glad you all are kicking it up here...


Qwerty, girl you :rock: thank you..... Sorry about the recent visit. But I am with you. Got your back. Agree with you 100%
Ladies we are strong......never lose hope!!!!!!!!!! :love:

Just my own personal opinion, Hope and Prayers sometimes are all we have to sustain us. I wouldn't dream on giving up on them.
I am not married to a lifer, however, I did have a family member who was a lifer and after 20 years, he was released. So there is always hope.
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

As been said before, WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE.

Always keep hope alive. No one knows what tomorrow brings, but if we stay positive in the present it goes a long way."Life" is filled with infinite possibilities.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1 :)

Thank you all for your input on Hope.. I would like to keep this lifer forum alive... seems every body is at the h/b group.. I spend time there too .. but its different for lifers i am thankful for the contact visits though!! take care

"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they dont see it nearly enough.."


"Hope is necessary in every condition."

"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they dont see it nearly enough.."


"Hope is necessary in every condition."

I couldnt agree with you more.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal. There is always hope. Just have to believe.

I don't have the experience of "life w/a lifer", but I can say that in my personal life there have been times when I lost hope. During those times, I had suicidal thoughts. Understandly so, because without hope and faith, there really isn't a lot to look forward to. You just HAVE to have it to keep going. I'm praying that hope and faith fills all our lives.

I don't have the experience of "life w/a lifer", but I can say that in my personal life there have been times when I lost hope. During those times, I had suicidal thoughts. Understandly so, because without hope and faith, there really isn't a lot to look forward to. You just HAVE to have it to keep going. I'm praying that hope and faith fills all our lives.

I second that. May hope and faith fill all of our lives abundantly.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.

As been said before, WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE.


What Divita has said here is beautiful & profound. I was just feeling this thread today. I am glad its still going......... I was sad earlier today. So many forces have tried to destroy my marriage. Well evil has not won yet. As for his sentence its still an uphill battle everyday. Still no calls, no contact. This probably will never change. I hope someday even if we are old I will be able to touch or hold his hand. For now seeing him makes my heart leap. For he is my loved one. Thanks ladies. Keep HOPE ALIVE!!!!!! You :rock:

Oh how I needed to read this thread right now.

One should always have hope. Hope is the one thing that keeps us going, provides us comfort and gives us purpose.

Old Dutch Proverb: without hope there is no life.

HOPE is NECESSARY for "living".... "life" without HOPE is NOT "LIVING", it is merely "EXISTING"... and who wants to just exist?

that is my sweetie pie's 2 cents on the issue.

I will never give up hope...to be alive is to hope and dream...

My lifer went through a real bad period about 2-3 years into his sentence, he was actually considering ending his sentence early. He found that he did'nt want to quit hoping and believing that someday he will be free though. And it was a glimmer of hope in that possibility kept him from checking out. I believe hope is a wonderful thing.


"If it were not for hopes, the heart would break."
Thomas Fuller

I agree, we can never say if, it is always when you get home. My man and I always say that we can't wait for him to get home so we can be a real family. Also can some ome tell me where my friend can find out what is going on with her husband, he was given a date. Just had to wait for the Gov's signature. No word as yet, it's been over the 120days. Thanks for any information. williamslady

Hope is definately important, for both parties. There has to be something to live for, even if it is only each other.

To All The Ladies Present On This Thread.....just Reading Everyones Comment Has And Will Keep Hope Inplanted In My Heart And Mind....and Like Any Plant Sometimes It Needs A Lil Water.....this Is A "well" Over Flowing!!!!!!

Thank U All So Very Much!!!!!!

my man says that he had no hope or will to go on until the day me and my girls came into his life. the reason he gets up in the morning, he says, is to pray that we have what we need and that he will one day be a part of it here with us. we are their hope and if we gave up on them then we may as well be the ones digging their graves.
i agree with the fact that laws change everyday and there is hope no matter what but if he never walks free again, i thank God above for the day i met him b/c he has slowly become my world.

I know how all of you are feeling right now. My man has the faith and he has his good days and his bad days. I am trying so hard to be strong I write him each and every day and tell him to keep that faith. He is getting so tired of being in there and he wants so bad to come home. He goes to the board next year and I pray every day that they will let him go one day and I always have that faith that the doors will open for us. I have been married for 1 year and I have some that tell me they would never married a man who has all this time but you know what I love that man and that is all that matters. Oh yea a family would be nice dam nice but I have to take what I can get right now and if that is only visits and calls so be it I am so in love with my man. To all of you who are hanging in there and not letting anyone take your love from your man I am proud to say you are some strong ladies. Keep your heads high and never give up cause there is hope and we have to keep our faith that our men will be home soon. You all are in my thoughts and prays always and I am so grateful for this thread just to come in here and express my thoughts and feelings and not be judge is so nice.

My loved one is serving Life Without Parole here in PA. The only thing we can have is hope. Shawshank Redemption is my favorite movie and I love to quote Andy, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies!"

theres always hope tell him to never give up

There is a difference between hope and having good things to live for. Hope is a very dangerous thing for a lifer. It can moprh into dispair because, truly what really do we expect?

This does not mean a lifer cannot make something meaningful of his life inside. That is where we come in. I don't give my dad hope. But I do what I can to make his life inside as full and rich as I can.

There is a difference between hope and having good things to live for. Hope is a very dangerous thing for a lifer. It can moprh into dispair because, truly what really do we expect?

This does not mean a lifer cannot make something meaningful of his life inside. That is where we come in. I don't give my dad hope. But I do what I can to make his life inside as full and rich as I can.

I don't believe a lifer should ever give up hope. I understand the despair, but I believe that despair comes and goes when dealing with a life sentence, holding onto hope will not keep despair away at all times. It is just part of a life sentence, a part I hate, but still a part that is dealt with the best way we can when it darkens our horizon.

To abandon hope means to be resigned to never getting out. I think there is danger in this as well. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in avoiding the reality of what is, but laws can always change.

My man has done 28 years now and who knows how much longer he will have, possibly the rest of his life, and yes, we have the possibility of parole, but for the 8 times he has gone up for parole, it has proven extremely elusive.

It is hard to hold onto hope given the political climate of this country that seems to be determined to exact revenge no matter what. But to our way of thinking, to give up that hope is to let the system win, to admit defeat. While we acknowledge and accept the dark days that come with this life, no way in hell do we give in and let them take hope away. Not while we are still breathing.

There is always hope!

To right there is hope never say never is my motto :-)

Remember, If we keep the Faith in christ, Miracles do happen, so never give up on HOPE. Hope is the Feathers of the soul.

I don't disagree with you. It would be foolish to give up hope or say to your husband that you have resigned yourself to the fact that he will always be inside.

However, in my reality it seems that the time for hope was well before all of this. Before he turned into the person who did what he did. Before the he created victims. Now I know thats a little off the path of this thread, but you get my point. I'm probably not as close to my loved one as you are to yours, thats for sure.



It is hard to hold onto hope given the political climate of this country that seems to be determined to exact revenge no matter what. But to our way of thinking, to give up that hope is to let the system win, to admit defeat. While we acknowledge and accept the dark days that come with this life, no way in hell do we give in and let them take hope away. Not while we are still breathing.

I think hope and love is what makes our men have a reason to live. Laws change everyday and you never know when it's gonna be a change in your favor. IF we don't get this appeal filed and approved for a new trial Anthony doesn't even come up for parole for 29 more years. But I tell him he WILL one day be here with me in his arms. He needs to see that no matter what he is loved, wanted, worth something and I will never stop fighting to bring him home. That's what makes the difference between someone serving a life sentence and someone serving time with nothing to lose. Hope that life gets better than a dingy cell, poor food and lonelyness.

That's just my 2 cents though

Imagine a person who suffers a terrible accident, is now and always will be in a chair. Does that person give up hope. Hell no! He/she goes on. Their horizons are perhaps more limited as are those of a person in a correctional facility. But life goes on, hope goes on. It's time for your man to face his new reality and to see how he can survive in that reality, indeed, to see what good can come out of it. The human being is a very strong and resilient creature. The good your man can do is limited only by his own imagination and God's good will. Grab his situation by the nose and pull it in line. Study, work, pray do anything and everything that can and will make some good out of a bad situation. I have seen inmates, yes indeed, lifers do amazing things. Stop feeling sorry for himself and make use of the time he has. If and when he gets out is up to God. Put that in his hands and use your own hands to improve your situation while you're there. Yes the nazis have him for now but he will survive to fight another day.

Hope is a wonderful thing and if you give it up then what is there left to live for? I know for us I have never given up hope that my lifer will come home. Shoot I plan my life around it. I hope everyday that things will get better. We are not a 3 striker family but we are lifers and its hard but I think that hope is what helps us press on, that and we are trying to get back to court right now.

10-06-2006, 08:17 AM
MrJustice (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/member.php?u=86106)
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Imagine a person who suffers a terrible accident, is now and always will be in a chair. Does that person give up hope. Hell no! He/she goes on. Their horizons are perhaps more limited as are those of a person in a correctional facility. But life goes on, hope goes on. It's time for your man to face his new reality and to see how he can survive in that reality, indeed, to see what good can come out of it. The human being is a very strong and resilient creature. The good your man can do is limited only by his own imagination and God's good will. Grab his situation by the nose and pull it in line. Study, work, pray do anything and everything that can and will make some good out of a bad situation. I have seen inmates, yes indeed, lifers do amazing things. Stop feeling sorry for himself and make use of the time he has. If and when he gets out is up to God. Put that in his hands and use your own hands to improve your situation while you're there. Yes the nazis have him for now but he will survive to fight another day.



u r so precious!!!!!

Absolutely, lifers should have hope.


For example, in Missouri, out of one prison, they have given dates to 11 lifers just in the last month.



Denise

That is the best news i have heard of in a while!

keep the hope alive

thank you

Just more reason why we should never lose our faith!!! Everything will happen in God's time... That is great news!!

Yes! hope is what delivered those guys off death row in Chicago a few years back.
Don't give up hope. God is always able to deliver you. You might be just the one he chooses to deliver. Its so many gifts and blessings that can come from just having hope - people have been able to help other people- when they couldn't help themself.

I just talked to a kid who had lost all appeals and suddenly a federal court threw his case back... he took a reduction from life to 21 years, should be out in less than 15 now, with time served.

TINKR30-

Thanks for poisting this, sometimes it is so depressing coming to this forum. We need to read about these instances.

To All,
Stay strong.

You are all so very inspirational. I just cut and pasted some of your postings to send to my man. It's been almost 9 years and I think he's still in alot of denial. It's so sad to hear him constantly say he's coming home soon and he really believes it. I guess it's his coping mechanism. I just want to say thank you to all of you for lifting my spirts, and hopefully lifting his too.

There is always hope, never let him give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even in Georgia they are paroling lifers, so it can happen!!!!!!! You have my prayers!