I am a 58 year old mother of three sons. My first is 41, #2 is 37, and #3 is 31.

My number 2 son, Butch, is incarcerated. My other two sons at times are very bitter at him. They work on it daily, but the bitterness comes out and I let it.

All my sons are precious to me. But the most precious are my 6-grandchildren who range in the ages of 4 to 18.

There are 4 boys and 2 girls. They have kept me young and feeling good.

I am an accountant. I have followed this careen for 37 years. I am now the Financial Manager of the Anhueser-Busch Wholesaler in Hickory N.C. I have been here 18 years. It is a good job and I have really enjoyed it.

I attend and am very active at Christ United Methodist Church in Hickory, N. C. I have a deep faith in God and I know for myself this has been my strength and salvation. None of us are promised a Rose Garden in this life, but sometimes you really need that extra push to get through the challenges we meet.

My Mother is 78 years old and is still living. My father passed away in 1976 at the age of 51. Mother remarried 16 years ago and my step father is 83. He has been very good to Mom and that has meant a lot to me.

I married my Husband in 1987. We have been married 15 years. My first husband (the children's father) was an abusive alcoholic. Very violent. I lived with him 20 years before I made the choice to leave. I regret that decision because there have been many times I have blamed myself for my childrens anger and bitterness they carry today. We have all had to have counseling, but I think Butch was affected more than any of us. My husbands name is Gene Day and he has been a wonderful stepfather to my children and grandchildren and I love him dearly. I am a very down to earth individual and I believe that there is good in all Human Beings. Sometimes we meet things in our lives that turn us in a wrong direction. We must be able to see it when it happens and continue striving to do better.

I have really appreciated all the threads and messages I have received on this forum. You all are great people. There is always an ability to change things when there are numbers trying to do it. Stick together at all times and we will be able to change some of the things that we all hate so very badly about the Justice System.

My Love and Best Wishes

Donna F. Day

Donna -it was so nice to hear about you....:)

thank you Donna to share your story with us. I know how it is to live with an aggresive and abusive alcoholic....that would be my dad. I does effect the children a lot, and some can handle it better then others. I'm glad to hear about your husband, he sounds like a great man. And that is exactly what a great woman like you deserves!

Donna,it sure sounds as if God is working hard in your life.I cant wait to have grandbabies.(Dont tell my younguns that,cause I will denye it) God Bless You Donna............................................. ...........Spencer

NOW, I HAVE RENEE ON THE SITE ON OCCASION. SHE HAS POSTED HER INTRODUCTION BUT STILL HAS A LOT OF STORY TO TELL.

OF COURSE, SHE HAS ONLY BEEN IN THE PICTURE SINCE OCTOBER OF 2000. BUT SHE HAS REALLY STOOD BY BUTCH AND HELPED HIM THROUGH SOME HARD TIMES EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO VISIT HIM. I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT AND I ADMIRE HER A LOT.

WE ARE STILL TRYING TO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO FIND OUT WHY SHE CANNOT VISIT ALONG WITH FIGHT IT. WE HIRED AN ATTORNEY WHO HAS CONTACTED THE MAIN DOC OFFICE IN RALEIGH, NC. THEY ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE DENIED HER VISITATION, NOT THE LOCAL UNIT.

SHE CAN NEVER VISIT ANY DOC IN THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA. EVEN IF SHE WERE TO HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER INCARCERATED, SHE CAN NOT VISIT. SHE HAS NO RECORD OF ANY TYPE... NOT EVEN A SPEEDING TICKET. SHE HAS NEVER BEEN IN ANY TYPE OF TROUBLE. IF THAT WERE THE CASE, THE DOC WOULD NEVER HAVE HIRED HER.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST UNFAIR AND UNJUST THINGS I HAVE SEEN IN THE NC DOC. THEY ARE SO UPSET THAT SOMEONE WHO WORKED FOR THE DOC COULD POSSIBLY BECOME FRIENDS WITH AN INMATE. OF COURSE, THEY DID NOT DENY HER VISITATION UNTIL AFTER THEY BECAME ENGAGED LAST OCTOBER 2001. STRANGE HUH!

DONNA

Donna.... Thanks for sharing more about you... I do think that y'all may have a good fight with DOC over the fact that they let her visit for 8 months. That is just crazy!!