Hey their everyone,

hi there i think i am really depressed for some odd reson i have been having one of those weeks that seems to never end i feel like everything i do is my fault no matter what i do. i have bi polar and it is really getting to me as i am not on the right medication i feel like i am getting worse and worse as the week goes on nothing seems to want to work for me and i feel that someday it is going to get so bad that i am going to do something stupid i have gotten to that point a few times and in the past week things have been so bad for me i have thought about doing the worse things.

i am afraid of what this disorder may do to me my family has a bad history of having people in it committing suicide and i feel that i may be next and i would like to say that i din't want to be the next victim in my family but i feel that if i don't do something about it soon i may be next to go and i feel like i may have alot to live for.

life is too short to lose this little battle with depression i feel like nothing is gonna work right for me and i want the right medication so that i can start feeling better so that i can do the things that i used to do i am jst running out of things to do right now.

i need someone that is going through this same situation so that someone knows how i feel because unfortunatly i can't talk to my boyfriend about it because he doesn't feel what i feel or understand what i am going through right now.

please i need help before it's too late.
amanda

Amanda ~
My 9 year old son is bi-polar. I don't understand first hand what it feels like but I know what's it like to have a loved one suffering from the ups n downs of the cycle. If you need to talk I'm happy to listen and try to help,please feel free to PM me.

Laurie

I hope you have a doctor you can call right away so that maybe you can get your meds changed... I'm glad that you reach out to others when you're feeling this way... That's a big step and half of the battle...
You're right that suicide is a family disease and that it has a tendency to run in families, that's another thing positive that I see in you... You're paying attention...
Try to remember and keep reminding yourself that these are just feelings and they are temporary... They will go away and you'll feel better than you do at this moment... Feelings aren't real, they are an illusion that they don't own you...
I'll pray for you and hope that you can find something to lift your spirits... It's awful to feel depressed like that... Hang in there hon... You need to try to find something that makes you happy even if it's a temporary fix... Watch a good movie, comedy, read a good book... go for a walk... Whatever it takes...

amanda, i too am bipolar and know the pain and anguish you are feeling. you must first call your doctor or nearest mental health clinic/hospital immediately. it took a long time and many desperate thoughts for them to fonally find the right meds for mr. it has been about 1 1/2yrs. since they did. most of the time my feelings and thought processes are good now but i slip back into the wrong ones occassionaly but bounce back very quickly. it is imperative that you do exactly as your dr. says and keep him informed as to whether the meds are working. you might also think of counselling but if you are suicidal you MUST let your dr. know immediately! if you need to talk pm me.

Hey hon! Please call your doctor right away... KEEP TRYING TO GET THOSE MEDS RIGHT! You know that if you are suicidal you need to get help fast, and keep remembering your child needs you. You can do it.


((((BIG HUGS))))

Hang in there! I am going to PM you with someone you can call and talk to who is also bi-polar and has many of the same issue you describe. I go to her support groups with her sometimes and they seem to help alot. Do you know if there is a bi-polar support group in your area. (they provide a great deal of freindship and support for each other)