View Full Version : Another new person...

11-06-2002, 06:52 PM
Hi, I came across this site a while ago but finally have the nerve to come back & post something. I have a 17 yr old son sentenced to 2 years in a WI state prison. I have not seen him since he went in the first week of January this year, although I've talked to him on the phone. I've been so moved tonight by many of the posts from other moms, to know there really are others going through the same feelings - missing their children. I've gone from being so angry at him for getting himself in this situation to now just missing him a lot & feeling bad about all the "normal" teenage experiences he's missing. His dad, however, is still just angry. My son was moved to a "boot camp" the first week of September & if he successfully completes this, he could be out in March. Have any of you had experiences with boot camps? Also, if someone was charged with a felony (or 3!) when they were 17 do you know if there is ever a way to have that removed from their criminal record? I look forward to learning more from all of you. Thank you.

Soul SLiver
11-06-2002, 06:57 PM
Sharon, welcome to the PTO family! I'm glad you posted! :)
We welcome you with open arms and we hope to assist you with anything you need assistance with.

I don't know anything about the law in wisconsin, but we have many people who know law, two in particular come to mind. We have a person named ThaNumbaOneStunna and another named law370 that are both incredibly well versed in law!

I understand the mood swings...someone here mentioned renaming PMS to Prison Mood Swings. Ugh aren't they dreadful?

Anywho, I hope you find what you're looking for here! :)

11-06-2002, 07:15 PM
Welcome to PTO - glad you came back...we are here for you!

11-06-2002, 07:17 PM
Welcome to PTO Sharon. I also have a son in prison, he is now 19, just had a birthday not too long ago. He is in for 11-23 months and I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there! I have no legal advice for you but others here will help answer your questions.

11-06-2002, 08:50 PM
Hi, welcome to PTO I also have a son in prison (15 to life) but he has 10 down and we are looking forward to 2007. I know a lot about missing a son and the heartaches that you are enduring just hang on it will get better. Love Barbara

11-06-2002, 09:04 PM
Welcome to PTO. Glad you joined us.


11-07-2002, 09:47 AM
Hi "another new person" :)
Glad you had the nerve to psot...hope you like it here!

11-07-2002, 10:51 AM
Hi Sharon and Welcome to PTO. I work with youthful offenders in the judicial system. Does your state have a Youthful Offender 'option' they can plead under or another common one is call AR= accelerated rehabitilation. Both of these offer the youth an a chance to successfully complete a program and probation. Once they do, the record is clear. This is a one shot deal. You can find out through the public defender's office if there is such an option in your State.

Best Wishes and hope to see you here often!


11-07-2002, 06:53 PM

Welcome to PTO!

11-07-2002, 07:09 PM
Sharon, welcome to this wonderful place. I also have a son in jail. He is 23 years old. He was in for 6 months and then was released in Aug, but then went back in for another crime about a month ago. We are still not sure how long he will be there, he has not had a trial yet. Was your son into drugs at all? My son has been a heroin addict since age 16 so basically all his crimes have to do with getting money for his love, heroin. I know exactly how you are feeling and my husband will not visit our son or even speak to him when he calls. I hope one day he will. Keep up the faith and if you ever need to vent, this is the place to come. We are all here for you hon.


11-07-2002, 07:33 PM

11-07-2002, 11:02 PM
welcome to the PTO and I look forward to hearing more about you

11-08-2002, 12:12 AM
Hi Sharron....

Welcome to PTO....I also have a son in prison and I can relate to your anger then missing them then also all the things they are missing although my son is older he is missing out on a lot of his daughter's life....There are a lot of good people here and I;m sure one of them if not all of them will be able to help you in one way or another......

God Bless


11-08-2002, 12:48 AM
Sharron, I'm glad you've found this site. My son Mariano (28) is in prison in Florida and we live in Buenos Aires. I was an angry father some time. Tell that Dad that the only way for our sons to return to normal life (as hard as it could be some times) is the help and understanding from us Dads and Moms while we exist. They need us even when they don't realize it. They need us strong, firm as a pole of dignity, even when they don't answer to us, when they seem to trust in other people more than us, and even when we are deeply hurt. Some day they will be 40 and 50 years old men, and will remember where we had been, even when sometimes we are here and they don't look at us.

Un abrazo,

11-08-2002, 07:50 AM
Dearest Sharon:

Bless you child. Most all of us have been through the very same emotions that you feel now and have felt since your son went into prison.... We have felt anger at them, hurt for them and want to help them as much as possible.

My son has a 50 year sentence for Manslaughter. He was 24 years old and shot and killed his wife's boyfriend in self defence after being hit by a baseball bat and having his jaw broken. But, I was so very hurt and angry with him at first that I really could not get through it. His two brothers were angry and hurt and so was my husband. There was a great turmoil among us all during the first years.... After awhile, I began to have my heart ripped from my body because I could see the pain he suffered. I tried everything to help. I created a health problem for myself because there was absolutely nothing I could do except stand beside him and love him....

Now, After 12 years, things have settled down some. But, He has started the cycle all over again because of a girl he met in the dept of corrections She was an administrative assistant and they say they are in love. I have not gotten to visit since June 2002. I can visit him on November 17th but right now he is angry with me and I with him. So, I don't know if he even wants me to visit. If not, then I will stay away. I will always be there for him but never again will I allow him to take my life from me. I have learned the hard way, that they have to suffer the consequences of their own actions. I cannot change anything that he does. I can only love him.

My best of you and may God Bless and Keep you


11-08-2002, 09:48 AM
That was so sweet and courageous of you to share your story, Donna. It really had a profound effect on me. It makes me realize that I am not the first to have all these mixed emotions. It's as though we do not condone anything our children have done but as mothers we want the best for our children and we want them happy and sometimes we are willing to trade places so that they may enjoy one day of freedom. We have learned to swallow our pride and accept what has happened. For me I refuse to deny what my son has done because I feel that would be equal to denying my son. So we become brave and face society and allow the chips to fall where they may..


btw, I spent a whole lot of time as a child there in Hickory. Actually Coinjock. Actually Bell's Island. Very nice area. I reflected when I read your location. Many childhood memories.

11-09-2002, 07:35 AM
Howdy Sharon and welcome aboard!!

I also have a son in prison for agg robbery. He is 17 years old and was sentenced to 99 yrs with parole eligibility in 30. Yes 99 yrs!! It is a struggle, but we have to continue with our daily lives. Just like the other moms have mentioned, be there for your son. Your husband will eventually come around. Just take care of yourself. Be strong! We are here to listen if you need to vent! Take Care!! PEACE!

11-09-2002, 07:59 PM
I just wanted to thank everyone for their posts. My heart feels lighter already knowing I have a place to go now when I need to get things off my chest or try to find answers. Maybe at some point I'll even have something I can offer you. I'm also thinking I shouldn't be feeling quite so sorry for myself when I see how long some others of you have been or will be without your children.

Thanks again,

02-22-2010, 07:00 PM
From what I understand it is illegal to do so. Some have gotten themselves in trouble doing it. Has your son explained why he wants you to do this? Usually it is because they owe someone from something like gambling or because they have done him a favor. Sometimes it is to have money that is beyond what they are allowed to spend in that facility. Also they could be getting his canteen for him because if you were to put it in his books, they take restitution which can be a large part of what you send. In some cases a person who can come up with money makes themself vuneralbe to others inside. I would be very cautious and probably not take the chance. I have asked my son not to get me involved in things like this that make me feel uncomforable.

02-22-2010, 07:22 PM
Why would someone bring up a thread here from 8 years ago???:confused:


02-22-2010, 07:27 PM
my son wants me to send $ under someone else DOC # what consequences are there for this? should I do this?
newbies sometimes post on old threads because when they "see" the posts they show them all...even the old ones like this one.

so...karatebug must be new and posted on an old one.
I agree with not send money under anyone's name. your son might be being bullied to get money, and listen to motherj!!